Does your child have a "lovey" beyond the normally accepted age?

[Jennifer132]

My ds, who is now 9, used to have a knitted blankie he carried everywhere. At 4 I made a rule that he couldn't bring it to Sunday School, and his interest in it waned shortly after. My dd, who is about to be 8 still has a blanket she loves. It's literally in tatters. Seriously not sure it will survive another washing. She doesn't take it in public, and she hides it when her friends come over, but we haven't been able to put it away permanently. Is my kid the only one?

[Ethel Mertz]

DS11 still has Stuffed Significant Others (SSOs) and as recently as last year, he took them places (usually one at a time). I'm glad that he's been able to linger in childhood.

[SKL]

My kids are 7.5 and they still have their special doll and bear.  The younger seems to be less "attached" and the doll is now more of a favorite (very favorite) toy and less of an "I can't sleep without it" necessity.  The older is still very attached to her special bear.  I don't see it as a problem as long as she is able to get along without it during the daytime at least.  ;)  They are going to overnight camp and they were concerned about not being able to take their doll/bear, but I assured them they could.  :)

[Lolly]

My dd is 21. She still sleeps with her teddy bear named Kicks. She left her blankie behind when I took them away at about 10. I replaced it with a full blanket on her bed. She likes blankie because of the satin edge. I got the same thing in a larger version for her bed. She STILL has to have that style blanket to sleep well. She rubs the satin edge between her fingers and toes as she goes to sleep. The bear, it goes along whenever she knows she will be sleeping overnight. It is quite flat.

[Cinder]

Ds1 was nearly 10 before he was ready to put his blankie up for keeping. It was very very raggedy by then and for a few years he only wanted it at bedtime but he still had to have it every day. Dd is now the same way--still needing her blankie but only at bedtime; she's 9. But her blankie is made of fleece so while it's thinner than when she was born it's not in tatters.

[SadieMarie]

I didn't know there was a normally accepted age. I don't think there should be. Let her have her comfort in privacy and peace is what I would do.

[Night Elf]

Dd16 does. I see nothing wrong with it. She does talk about college though. She's not sure she wants to take it with her but the idea of not having it makes her sad.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

My kids are 11 and 14 and still have their blankets and the one with a stuffed lovey has it too.

 

I did make a rule that the stuffed toy one had to stay home after it was so well loved I was worried it would fall apart.

 

I see no need to take such comforts away and pack them up. Kids will move on when they are ready.

[Kathryn]

My kids never attached to a blanket. My 8.5yo still has to have his stuffed animal (which is not actually an animal, but a purple heart-shaped pillow) to sleep. And when he goes to the dentist or somewhere that makes him nervous, he takes a stuffed animal.

[Luckymama]

Well, ds took his Mickey Mouse to college.

 

Dd14 keeps her blankie on her bed. She used to carry it around the house even at 12, first thing in the morning---she's slow to wake up.

 

Dd19 took her little bear to college (he sits on a shelf unless she's sick or stressed).

[OneStepAtATime]

DS13 has a blanket AND 3 Ty Cats that she still has on her bed and if we travel they travel with us.  She doesn't seem to have to have them with her like she used to, but she likes them around.  DS10 has a stuffed dog that he still sleeps with and will have nearby if he is feeling sick or insecure.  I had a blanket I was fond of until I was 13 but I got so sick that year that I ended up in a wheelchair for a while.  Dad and Mom decided to box up the blanket rather than risk reinfection.  All my other linens were tossed.

[Chris in VA]

Lots of college kids bring a stuffie or blanket. It's not like they haven't matured beyond it--it's more just a cute piece of childhood that evokes great memories/nostalgia--

Or that's what they SAY... :lol:

 

It's sweet, IMO.

[J-rap]

I couldn't imagine what your question was about!  I thought you meant "girlfriend or boyfriend"!

 

Many of my children had blankets or dolls or stuffed animals for several years beyond 9, I'm sure!  It never occurred to me that there should be an age limit.  I figured it would end all too soon as it was.  My kids never brought them places though -- like church or the store or anywhere else except on trips, so I never had to tell them they weren't allowed to bring them someplace.

[Myeightkiddies]

My daughter, 26, still sleeps with hers.  A couple of years ago she had her appendix and large ovarian cyst rupture at the same time.  It took the doctors 24 hours before they realized the appendix (couldn't see much on imaging because they thought the fluid from the ovarian cyst was what was blocking the view).  On her way to surgery she had her lovey with her, and the nurses let her take it back to surgery.  They had it ready for her when she woke up.  She's plenty mature and stable.  My opinion is let children keep it if they want.

 

Over the years we got smart - after having tear-filled nights when it was accidentally left at Grandma's.  Get duplicates.  She actually has four of the same lovey now.  All four are in her bed.  Some are very tattered.  She's looking forward to sharing her loveys when she has a child.

[OneStepAtATime]

My cousin took her stuffed bunny rabbit to college.  It finally disintegrated during her first marriage or she would probably still have it. I don't think there should be an "acceptable" age limit for lovies.   Now if the child is getting into the teens and has to have the lovey with them all the time, I might want to seek outside advice on whether they may be worried about something or overly anxious.  But just having a lovey around, nah, that's perfectly fine, IMHO.

[Amy in NH]

Unfortunately, dd's "comfy" is a hand-crocheted baby blanket made for someone else by someone I don't know more than 20 years ago.  It was passed along to us when I had my first ds, and it went through all the boys before dd attached herself to it.  The yarn is only hanging on by a few threads in many places, and I spent some time just yesterday repairing it.  DD will be 9 in August, and is still very attached to "comfy".  I am actively trying to figure out how to make another one, at dd's request.  I started one about a year ago, but the pattern and yarn are all wrong.  I was just measuring, figuring, and looking over yarn again yesterday, too.

[Retired]

My youngest son slept with the blanket from his crib until around age 7  so  cause it was falling apart  then I made him a very soft throw size quilt that he slept with and could take with him that didn't look baby like.   He was a bed wetter until age 12 so the second quilt got washed nightly.  It started falling apart.  Then I made a third one around age 11 that he really stop needing around age 12 when the bedwetting stopped.  He took the 3rd one with him on his first few Scout camp outs.  He then became a little man and didn't need his security blanket

 

I think your young one will get rid of it when their ready.  My youngest  grew up all overnight.  He quit bedwetting and needing is sleep blanket a few months past age 12.

 

Interestingly enough my oldest didn't have a lovey but up until he hit puberty he shared a bed with is younger brother.  He couldn't go to sleep with out younger brother in the bed.  He would hug up with him and fall asleep.

 

I so miss my guys being that young they are now one almost 21 and the other just turn 17. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[BigMamaBird]

My 8 and 5 year olds still sleep with their loveys but they don't leave the house.  My 2 year old will take his blankie with him to Grandma's if he's going to be napping or sleeping there  He also still uses a pacifier for sleeping.  I know I should take it away from him soon, but he's SUCH a good sleeper if he can just have his binkie and a crazed little sleep deprived monkey if he's without it.  

[elegantlion]

Hypothetically, I might know of someone who knows someone who is 16 and still has "blue blankie". From what I've been told his mother bought when he was just a few weeks old and from what I understand it has taken many trips. The latest I've heard is that blue blankie still resides on the bed of said child and might possibly be made into a pillow in which that child might take to college. From what I've heard it would need a few patches. 

[Dmmetler]

DD is 9, and has had Draggy since she was about 8 months old. Draggy used to go everywhere (which is why we have 6 of them-because after a panicked return to the church nursery to find Draggy, I started buying every one I could find on Ebay and rotated them. Which worked until she was about 2, went to my bedroom, and came back with her arms FULL of Draggies). At this point, she doesn't usually take Draggy with her unless she's spending the night somewhere or she feels like she's likely to be stressed. Draggy goes to cheer competitions, but now he tends to stay in her cheer bag.

 

When she was about 3, my BIL asked when we were going to take that thing away from her because "she can't take it to kindergarten, you know". At 4 1/2, she started PS K. I discovered in APRIL, only after her K teacher told me, that Draggy had, indeed, gone to K with her every single day in her backpack. And he was in good company-he spent his days on the shelf with Mickey Mouse, Teddy, and an AG doll, all of whom came with other kindergartners every day, and all of whom, at K graduation, had their own little hats.

 

 

DD made a friend earlier this year through a GT program she participates in. I think the friendship was cemented when, after meeting Draggy, her friend ran out of the room and got her mom to open their car-so she could bring in HER lovey to show DD.

 

 

 

[MomtoCandJ]

Dd1 doesn't have a lovey. Though she did have a paci for sleeping until she was three. Dd2 seems to have attached her wee self to a flannel/ silky blanky my Aunt got for her. I'm now trying to find the same flannel print and silky material to make her more. Dd2 rubs it in her face and chews on it.

[Walking-Iris]

My oldest ds had a small Piglet stuffed toy that he couldn't sleep without, and then about 7 years old I started noticing it was forgotten. But he still has it, it's just in a the toy box. Every time we do a purge of toys, he is quick to say "not that" even though he hardly touches it.

 

My 6 year old has "Stuffed Significant Others" (I love that so much I'm stealing the phrase from a previous poster) that he never plays with or takes anywhere. The foursome (a stuffed tiger, a monster doll I sewed for him, a stuffed pirate doll, and a Woody doll) have to stay on his bed, arranged just so. He can get pretty upset if they are touched or moved. At bedtime he talks to them "how was your day guys?" and arranges them and covers them with their own blanket. It's as if he's created this bedtime ritual around these 4 toys, but they are not to be tampered with other than at bedtime, by him. He's my only child that has ever had darkness or something under the bed fears, so maybe that's why. 

 

My 3 year old never really has had a lovey. She does like to pick out a toy to tote around when we go somewhere, but it always changes. She had a blanket for a minute when she was 1-2 that we thought was going to turn into something special, but she stopped caring.

 

So I think it depends on personality. 

[Library Momma]

My 9yo son has Bluey.  A small stuffed whale that has seen better days.  He doesn't actually take him out of the house but he would be distraught if anything ever happened to him. 

 

Years ago my BIL took a piece of his blanky with him to Desert Storm!

[Hoot]

Uh my son is 15 and he has a favorite stuffed dog that he's had since he was born. He doesn't take it anywhere, of course, and never did even when he was little, but it sits on his bed.

[Lara in Colo]

I am XX years old and my cat (who lived to the ripe old age of 18) slept in my arms (spoon style) every night-- not even DH came between us.  

 

She died 5 years ago- I haven't had a decent nights sleep since. 

[MistiDelaney]

I was in my 50s before my "lovie" disintegrated.  I only needed it at night, but I took it with me to the hospital when my children were born and anywhere else i would be overnight or longer.  I don't think there should be an age at which a lovely is given up.  When it happens, it should be because it is time.

 

That said, my eleven year old never showed any interest in stuffed animals until he was entering puberty.  Now he has attached himself to a Boyds Bear that was given to him when he was a newborn.  It's sweet and kind of cute.

 

Caboose boy is sporting a baby mustache and his arms and legs are very hairy.  His face has thinned out and his body is muscling up. He looks every bit the adolescent.  During the day, he acts very much the young man.  But in the evening, he carries that bear around and acts out his "babyish" emotions through the bear.  The bear flirts with me like CB did until a few months ago.  The bear needs kisses and hugs and reassurance that he's cute.  The bear wants to sleep in my bed.  But not CB.  Oh, no.  He's all grown up.  ;)  Yes, I kiss and hug the bear - and then I insist on a group hug that includes CB.  :D  Honestly, I think that's the point.

 

I have no idea how long it will last, but it feels like a way to extend childhood a little longer for a boy who was never convinced that being an adult was a good plan.  :p

[dirty ethel rackham]

My 13yo dd only recently stopped bringing her tattered old baby blanket on overnight trips.  I kept saying that I was going to make it into a pillow for her, but never got around to it.  Now, it is shreds except for the satin trim. 

 

ETA:  She takes it out when she is struggling with Math.  Her friends think it is pretty cute.  She is completely unselfconscious about it. 

[PuddleJumper1]

Dd received a crocheted blanket and a stuffed animal at about the same time when she was a toddler. She promptly named them and dragged them literally everywhere. They became extensions of her. They went everywhere until she was about 11 (although they stayed in the car more and more as she aged). To this day they come out for important things (like surgery or trips), in times of stress or when she's sick. They are literally falling apart but have a place of honor in her room. We've said for years and years that the blanket would be her wedding veil and the animal her ring bearer. There is no way she'll marry without them  :lol:

[fairfarmhand]

My 12 yo still has a special blanket that she fiddles when she's going to bed.

 

My 9 yo has one that she rubs on her upper lip at night, as does my 6 yo.

 

Nope, you are not the only one.

 

My 12yo would be mortified if her friends knew, but my 2 littles don't really care yet.

[shawthorne44]

In college, I knew kids had their lovey in their bedroom.  I see nothing wrong with it.

I do think that there is a max age for carrying the lovey, though.  

[Ewe Mama]

Simon has a special teddy bear he sleeps with every night. I purchased every single bear like it on ebay and he gets a new one in his Christmas stocking every year. I'm starting to worry because we only have a couple more back up bears and he is showing no signs of letting go.

 

Theodore has a couple waffle weave receiving blankets from baby days he sleeps with. He's starting to let go. But they are easy to replace, if needed.

 

Alvin was a finger and thumb sucker who had to have his special blanket when he was sleeping or needed to chill out. He stopped sucking his finger and thumb at almost six. After that his desire for his blanket waned. He will get it out once in a while, but always puts it back in the special box we keep it in when he is done.

 

The girls never really had special blankets or stuffed animals.

 

Confession: I still have a piece of my special blankie in my dresser drawer.

[Onceuponatime]

From someone whose mother "disappeared" her lovey one day when she was in school: It is cruel to get rid of a truly beloved item.  I know now that my mother thought she was doing the right thing and she wanted me to help me "grow up." All it did was break my heart and make it harder to get to sleep at night.

 

  Yeah, I know-- :nopity:  Well, it did help me to understand my own children. The 10yo still has a pastel rainbow colored hand knit blankie in his bed. Two years ago, the 15yo took his tattered, ragged blankie out of the zip lock baggie that I had stored it in, gave it a good sniff and then told me I could get rid of it.  :)

[wapiti]

Dd13 has an animal that will go to college with her when the time comes.  She just left on a camping trip this morning and I wouldn't be surprised if the animal is with her.

[kentuckymom]

My 9 year old has a favorite dog, Sam, who sleeps in his bed and goes on trips with him. Sam doesn't usually go with him around town, but DS often takes one member of his horde of animals (stuffed and plastic) with him when he goes anywhere but school. His kindergarten teacher was very understanding and let him keep a little animal with him at his table, though the animal didn't get to come to specials or lunch. Which animal came to school rotated. From first grade on animals have not been allowed at school officially, but there's a little dog that lives in a pocket in Squirrelboy's backpack unknown to the rest of the school :).

 

Kittygirl (3) likes to tote a doll or baby with her when we go out, but she's not attached to any particular one. She may never form a particular attachment to one, or she may do so when she's older.

 

For the record, I brought Pinky the bear to college with me and he slept with me until got married. Now he sits in a place of honor in our bedroom.

[Dmmetler]

My bear went to college with me-DH refused to let me bring him on our honeymoon. He's on the top of the wardrobe in my bedroom now ;).

 

 

[kentuckymom]

My bear went to college with me-DH refused to let me bring him on our honeymoon. He's on the top of the wardrobe in my bedroom now ;).

 I don't know what our silly husbands were thinking not letting us bring our respective  bears on our respective honeymoons :).

[nukeswife]

My oldest just turned 15 yesterday and sleeps with his blankie every night.  It was the crib blanket from when he was an infant and it started falling apart so I let him pick out some fabric and quilted blankie inside as the batting.  He brings it out of his room during the winter and wears it draped on his shoulders.  

 

My 12.5 year old daughter doesn't sleep with her turquoise thermal receiving blanket anymore but it stays safely on the shelf in her closet.  

 

My 9 year old has a blue thermal blanket that is falling apart but he won't part with he also have a beanie baby pig that came with a charlottes web movie named Clean Piggy that goes almost everywhere in the house with him.  My son loves pigs the way DMMetler's daughter loves Draggie.  We also tried the buy another pig, since Clean Piggy isn't all that clean and has had "surgery" more times that I can remember.  The replacement didn't work, that's now Super Clean Piggy.

 

I am fine with it all.  I once had a wise wife of one of my husbands commanding officers say, "They'll know when it's time, they won't walk down the aisle at their wedding sucking a pacifier or carrying a blankie" 

[OhanaBee]

"Bunny" was waiting in the crib for my oldest when she was born.  He went everywhere with her until he was banned (by me) at the grocery stores [he kept jumping out of the cart and couldn't be trusted].  He went to camp with Pookers, he went on trips with Pookers, he even decided to remain behind on a trip to Chicago when she was 11 and had to be airmailed home. {He seemed a bit traumatized, but rallied eventually}.

 

When Pookers got married, Bunny stayed behind at home.....for about a month.  Then he traveled to his new home with the newlyweds and resided on their dresser.

 

Until a few months ago, the dresser was still his home.  Then his new mistress discovered him and Miss Megs has decided her Mommy's lovey is now *her* lovey.  He's patched and very very worn looking, but a well loved rabbit.

 

 

[HomeschoolingHearts&Minds]

The 14-year-old sleeps with BeeBee, the stuffed bear I made for him when he was little.  The 10-year-old alternates between a couple of different lovies to sleep with.  The 8-year-old's almost constant companion is Eeyore.  Eeyore even gets blessed during the children's blessing at Mass.  Only the 5-year-old has never really had a lovie. 

[TKDmom]

My 10yo still has a special blanket that he sleeps with and drags out to the family room every morning. I think my oldest was 11 or 12 before she naturally stopped snuggling with her special blanket. I don't do anything to discourage loveys, unless they want to leave the house with them. Blankies can come on long car trips, but they don't get to go to the store with us.

[TKDmom]

And FWIW, I had a special teddy bear my boyfriend (now dh) gave me when I was 18. I slept with that teddy bear every night while dh was on a 2-year church mission. When we got married, teddy bear got to move to a bookshelf. I don't think there's any reason to take away loveys at any age.

[Jean in Newcastle]

What's a "normally accepted age"?  If it doesn't cause social problems (and it sounds like it doesn't) then it's fine.  Everyone needs a lovey in their life!  (One of my favorite mystery series is the Aunt Dimity series where the adult protagonist has a bunny named Reginald that she talks to.)

[Belacqua]

When she was about 3, my BIL asked when we were going to take that thing away from her because "she can't take it to kindergarten, you know". At 4 1/2, she started PS K. I discovered in APRIL, only after her K teacher told me, that Draggy had, indeed, gone to K with her every single day in her backpack. And he was in good company-he spent his days on the shelf with Mickey Mouse, Teddy, and an AG doll, all of whom came with other kindergartners every day, and all of whom, at K graduation, had their own little hats.

 

This has utterly made my day. :)

[HRAAB]

My oldest dd has a very special 'lovey' blanket.  When she moved out at 19 she took it with her.  She is now married and a mom herself, and I notice that her lovey is lovingly folded at the bottom of her bed.  My definition of 'accepted age' is when the person of their own free will and desire set aside the beloved item, when the beloved item finally falls apart and is not repairable, or death.

[jenn-]

My lovey is flat and lovingly called "Zombie Bear" because of his lack of coloring now, but he still goes on overnight trips that last more than a couple of days.  Some of my kids are more attached then others to their loveys.  Some have a gaggle of stuffies that live on their beds and rotate out a few on which ones get overnight trips. 

[shawthorne44]

From someone whose mother "disappeared" her lovey one day when she was in school: It is cruel to get rid of a truly beloved item.  I know now that my mother thought she was doing the right thing and she wanted me to help me "grow up." All it did was break my heart and make it harder to get to sleep at night.

 

  Yeah, I know-- :nopity:  Well, it did help me to understand my own children. The 10yo still has a pastel rainbow colored hand knit blankie in his bed. Two years ago, the 15yo took his tattered, ragged blankie out of the zip lock baggie that I had stored it in, gave it a good sniff and then told me I could get rid of it.  :)

 

 

Not too long ago my father was talking to his uncle.  Uncle talked about how dad (my father's paternal grandfather) threw away his teddy bear when he was about 10.  Dad's Uncle was in his 80's.  I never heard a single good thing about Dad's Grandfather.  

 

With DD, we tried to actively encourage her toward a replaceable lovey.  And she started to.  But then one needed to be sewed, and while it was waiting for that DD latched onto this extremely flat, irreplaceable bolster pillow with an eggplant purple cover.  After the first time she threw up on it and we had to give it an intensive wash, I sewed a PUL cover onto it.  DD has decided that she doesn't want the purple cover anymore so her lovey is called "Purple" even though it is white.  

[Dmmetler]

My oldest just turned 15 yesterday and sleeps with his blankie every night.  It was the crib blanket from when he was an infant and it started falling apart so I let him pick out some fabric and quilted blankie inside as the batting.  He brings it out of his room during the winter and wears it draped on his shoulders.  

 

My 12.5 year old daughter doesn't sleep with her turquoise thermal receiving blanket anymore but it stays safely on the shelf in her closet.  

 

My 9 year old has a blue thermal blanket that is falling apart but he won't part with he also have a beanie baby pig that came with a charlottes web movie named Clean Piggy that goes almost everywhere in the house with him.  My son loves pigs the way DMMetler's daughter loves Draggie.  We also tried the buy another pig, since Clean Piggy isn't all that clean and has had "surgery" more times that I can remember.  The replacement didn't work, that's now Super Clean Piggy.

 

I am fine with it all.  I once had a wise wife of one of my husbands commanding officers say, "They'll know when it's time, they won't walk down the aisle at their wedding sucking a pacifier or carrying a blankie" 

 

We have Draggy, Thunderboom 1, Thunderboom 2 (named when DD was 3 and terrified of thunderstorms-that year we had something like 12 tornado warnings/watches!), Dianthus, Scaly, Bunny and Shiny. Fortunately, she accepted them as ALL being Draggies. Some are male, some are female (Female draggies have flat bumps, males have bumpy bumps)-the rule then was that only one Draggy could leave the house at a time. Each Draggy has his/her own personality.

[kewb]

My soon to be 14 year old dd still sleeps with her blanky.  My 16 year old ds still has his favorite stuffed animal (although he is on a shelf for he fears for the animals safety when he is sleeping.

[Mommy22alyns]

No, OP, your kid is not the only one!  Rebecca has her lions that always sleep with her, and she even takes them in the car to the gym (she leaves them in the car).  Sylvia has her favorite stuffed kitty that always sleeps with her too.

 

Honestly, how many of us adults have something that we still "need" to sleep with?  I don't see anything wrong with it.  I still sleep with the same body pillow that I used when I was pregnant with Rebecca.

 

I have a funny story about trying to buy a backup for Rebecca's Lion.  We were washing the original, and it was in the dryer one night before bed, so we introduced the new one as Lion.  She was maybe 2 years old.  She laid eyes on the new one and flatly stated, "That's UNCLE Lion."  Okay then!  So she has both now.   ;)

[reign]

I took my favorite stuffed animal and pillow on spring break. I was a weird kid and did it more for laughs but I do still have them. I still sleep with the same pillow. My girls are all attached to special blankies and animals. I can see them keeping them for longer than "normal." I do know someone who just took their kids blanket away. She just thought 4 was too old for a blankie and that's what you do.