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Everything posted by Retired

  1. swelling of lower extremities without shortness of breath could be kidney issues but you mention intestinal issues if you had a large hernia/mass or something preventing adequate circulation in you legs then swelling would be a symptom My concern is the shortness of breath and swelling is almost always a cardiovascular issues. The aorta is in the abdominal region so if your intestinal issues are putting pressure on the aorta this could be leading to the shortness of breath and swelling. I would contact your surgeon most likely they would want to do a cardio work up before surgery if the shortness of breath and swelling is new to them I hope all goes well for you.
  2. I have a facebook with NO friends. I am part of several fitness women health groups. I follow all types of news, local events stuff like that. So I have a big news feed. I use my real name but ZERO other information. I have gotten no friends request. I occasionally will get friend recommendations from my groups. I'm pretty much anonymous as I want to be. I guess I could of used a fake name LOL I had a real facebook with friends and didn't like the brag, gossip, and general high school "look how great my life is or I'm so passive aggressively begging you to pay attendtion to me and tell me how pretty I am so I deactivated it years ago. But realized I needed facebook for finding out events and stuff cause everyone used the facebook cult and forgot how to call or email LOL
  3. It depends on the relationship. 45 min is nothing to rural folks I drive that one way to work. I take care of my mom but we are not best friends and have nothing in common. I go see her once a month and she is 45 min away. She actually lives close to my work. She is a extrovert, hyper girly and i'm introvert, nerdy, remodels houses. Yeah guy stuff LOL. She has never done anything masculine kwim. . I hate everything she likes LOL. She is more like my sister. My sister lives 15 min from her but I actually see mom more than her. My sister and her are alike except sister is selfish narcissistic b8tch where mom likes to help people. . So its all about the relationship not the miles.
  4. I'm not sure how young you are but usually peoples income and lifestyle move up as they age. I know the recession and other stuff can change that but normally we get more finically stable as we age. In my 20's I'm sure I could relate to you more but a rural version of poor. I got married at 20. We grew our own vegetable, my dh hunted deer and fished for our meats. We lived in a trailer. I didn't go ta movie, go on vacation, go out to eat. I had to count quarters just to get a McDonald 6 nugget meal. all our clothes came from a thrift store or I made stuff from Walmart fabric. We had tough times. I also was working full time and going to college at night. I had 2 children, my dh was diagnosed with cancer when 2nd one was 6 week old. My dh is also bipolar so pretty much I was caring the family. He was not stable. This was my life for around 10 years. Then from 2001-05 everything started falling in place we lived nice, vacation estc. but that was on 2 good incomes. I then decided to homeschool, we had a job transfer, the recession hit. We went back to counting pennies but not as tight as the early years. Now both of my kids are in their 20's. My dh got a big promotion, been mentally stable for over a decade, we paid of our mortgage, we have saving, 401k. We are living comfortably enough I don't' check my account everyday to see if I can buy something. I uses to juggle how to pay bills, and what got paid late. So I understand other struggles and how you may be living at this point. I'm also sure that some people my age are struggling do to illness, job loss. Life is about solid choices, planning but also just plain luck. I'm into planning for retirement social program to be gone. We are saving incase all the social security money we paid in is burned up when we retire SO actually like a lot of people the retirement years take them back to poverty levels. I'm hoping that's not us. My parents never did get out of poverty. My mom has actually living nicer now at 70 than at any point in her life. My dad got a VA settlement after he died which gave mom a small nest egg. So I get how this board and Facebook and everything can be discouraging. we never have the full story. My dh was never one to give me gifts, flower.etc I use to get so depressed when this board would have a What did you get thread? Its sucks. I just turned 48. We never planned to help our sons with college. But since the past few years things have gotten really good. We are helping them with tuition. We never had the college saving funds and stuff you hear about on this board. So just take online medium with a grain of salt. I've been on this board for since 04. I use to be intimidated by the group that were grammar police, they sounded all academic, upper class, I'm seriously they were a few that were all about proper grammar on a forum. They call out how they didn't like this or that on a post I didn't' think I was high class enough to post or smart enough to post so I lurked for about 4 years. Then after the 08 change I started posting. I remember it took me awhile to get the flow. It was Catwomen that was encouraging. I cant' remember exactly what she posted but it made me less intimated I'm through homeschooling and don't' post often but just wanted you to know that I some of us have walked a hard life we just now may be in better place or just may make our life sound better online
  5. I did the same last year when my dad died. I live in the southeast and a granite double size for both parents with both names /birth and my dads death and also a etched church road scene cost 1300.00. There were less expensive option but my mom was adamant she wanted this for her and dad. Sorry for your families loss.
  6. My dh has had the short beard for 20 years cause I like it. Plus he is the type of guy that had to shave twice a day for clean cut. The first 10 years we were together he had the 80's mustache. He would not get rid of the dang thing. The beard is a wonderful improvement LOL I do not like the now popular full bushing long beard that looks like pelvic hair. It just looks unkempt nasty. As for women hairless bikini areas it seems to me the generation around 10 years younger than me. I'm 48 and been seeing the bare ladies young teen now almost 40 in the hospital. The generation has aged and kept it bare so now upper 30's. My dh supervisor with all men in a industrial setting so the guy can be rather crude talking about their sex life's etc. He said that his younger men say they have never seen a ladies part with hair LOL. Yeah to much information LOL.
  7. the switch was during the election year for the first Obama administration. Lots of drama ugly politics. I actually like talking politics but people on here had thin skins everyone was reporting everyone else's post so Susan ban on political talk. It was a very smooth transition to this forum. the following link shows you the old board Nov 30 07 https://web.archive.org/web/20071202171901/http://wtmboards.com:80/HSboardNov202007/
  8. I've had a front load large capacity whirlpool duet for a decade. I live on farm/lake lots of red clay and muddy kids and it got it all clean. Now the same washer cleans clothes of a mechanic, firefighter and our farms dirt. I also love the sanitizing cycle for my scrubs. I'm also on hard well water. I found that its the detergent that does the cleaning. I use a powder detergent and add Clorox to white and a Clorox 2 to all color loads. The fire clothes sometimes have to be washed twice but that's expected. The traditional washer have a hard time getting out smoke smells The machine has been a work horse and gets it all clean
  9. I totally understand your apprehension.. I'm like this regarding a endoscopy and colonoscopy. The are uncomfortable, embarrassing, invasive procedures. My dad died of colon cancer last year and my mom had stomach cancer 6 years ago. So with the history its time for preventative looks. I've been trying to motivate myself up for it but keep putting it off. So I totally understand .
  10. nm I'm sorry about your dh's charges. I spend quite a few nights along and worried with young kids when my dh was manic. I'm wish I had great words of wisdom.
  11. http://fox4kc.com/2018/02/06/mom-says-teens-hair-was-chopped-off-as-punishment-2-firefighters-under-investigation/ A local news source says video is being investigated. They tried to contact the mom with no response A professional hairdresser not the one doing the cut comment that it looked like a bad cut and a 3rd party was involved in this "who ever cut the hair" was at fault also.
  12. Your mom was a piece or work I'm so sorry. She a naracisitic control person. I can't imagine a professional gving a haircut to someoon crying unless its a toddler. My youngest son hated haircuts and after a few disaster at salon. I started cutting at home. Just sorry. I chose a short cut one time in 4th grade and then cried I hated it. Hugs!! those childhood triggers. I've got a few of my own
  13. if its true and not a divorce mom getting using daughter for revenge the dad/stepmom. It not consider abuse but very humiliating. I'm a long hair women and would be devastated to have short hair unless it was saving my life (like chemo treatment) So I hope it was the girls decision although honestly it doesn't look any haircut a teen girl would choose so there is a case that the father did order the haircut and the step mom did the haircut. I can't imagine a professional cutting a girls hair against her will
  14. I've walk the journey you and your husband are on with my own dh. My dh has been in remission 20 years now. So prayers and encouragement!! I had young children when my dh was sick so I know the extra stress and how scared you both are. I just wanted to give you hope. We had good weeks and bad. There were scares and celebrations. then there was Peace and Healing. I pray that for your dh and family
  15. I was raised boiling it. pan full of water with a large red diamond tea bag, then put in pitcher and fill with 1 cup sugar and tap water. My MIL still makes it that way. My mother was from Miami when she moved hear in 1968 and my grandma taught her this method. My mom would leave the tea bag in. yes her tea of potent LOL Its a very strong bitter tea compared to other methods. Once I started making money and trying different in southern restaurant I went to the this method bring pan of water to boil/pour over tea bags, seep tea bags for 5 min, add cup of sugar and water. I also only use filter water. It makes all the difference LOL We have a local restaurant that started selling their tea by the jug Milo's Its so addictive. In Alabama sadly babies are fed tea in their bottles. We still have a lot of baby teeth rot. Also we have lots of diabetes which I'm sure our sugar/tea culture doesn't help
  16. for me going on a walk is somewhere with a level path and hike the path has uneven terrain. Like in some state parks they have a totally gravel or paved trail or board walk They do this to make acceptable to someone that could not hike. Hiking you are going to be walking with rock/holes/ruts. I live rural so I do take long walks one way 4 mile to the only little mom/pop store alone. But I also live near a national and state park. . I tend to not walk along there because it actual hiking. There are areas without cell phone signals . The trail are very rough with dangerous areas, there are snakes and just not something that's wise to do on your on. There is only one trail at the park that goes to the local water hole/falls that's about 2 miles round trip . Its rugged but I do go to it on my own. Its almost always has someone that will show up.
  17. YOur little girl is cute and I love your kid laying in the floor. :lol: A typical mom shopping trip. I'm a pear and the store mirrors always make me feel like my booty is double wide. I'm thinking you are being to hard on yourself with the muffin top Hope you bought the whole outfit really looks good on ya!
  18. My dh respects my personality for private. I'm a INTJ. There are only 2 reason he would initially look 1. He thinks I'm leaving him 2. He thinks I'm flirting or having an affair. He has insecurities. My dh works with pretty much all men for his whole work life. SO these guys get to talking and make some guy start thinking things he shouldn't They will even encourage him to start snooping My dh went through this in our younger married life. . I've heard them all. She gets a better education and more money. She get new boobs (this one seems to be the biggest lead to divorce) My wife meet a new guy at school. Basically is comes down to the women out grow their men with education or they get more self esteem from the boobs and leave. anyway as someone that's been married forever . I would talk with my husband see where he is coming from. As for my dh he has mental health issues so I will always be monitor everything for him . He has no privacy LOL But it also doesnt' bother him cause he is a total extrovert. I'm also better with computers than him. Also I never share private stuff in a college paper. I would make up fiction. My son is taking a writing class this semester. I gave him the same advise. Make it sound good LOL. He had one to write where do you see your self in 10 years. He is 21 and said I don't see a thing LOL. SO that really want work.
  19. I'm not interested in debate or judgement just sharing with the op. i'm a very committed evangelical Christian. I'm open about my faith at work. I'm well read in theology. In general I live my faith. I visit a church with my mom a few times a year. I listen to serval online pastors. I'm have Christian friends that understand I'm not gonna attend their church mainly because I don't' follow one denominations beliefs. I don't' attend a church regular, I will never join a church. I have problems with joining especially in my area because to me almost all the folks that join do not actually practice or live the tenants of their membership. It just seem false. The southern Baptist in my community are the funniest. Everyone attends causes it a small community. If you want to participle in their activity then you have to join. Yet I've not meet one person that attends that doesn't drink alcohol LOL. Which is a big one for them. I have no problem with Christian drinking. But I find it in bad taste when church members joining the club but not living the clubs tenants kwim (yeah churches in the bible belt are social clubs. I seriously doubt half of them have even read the bible) So the last church attending full time was a Free Will Baptist church. This place was full of people that walked their faith. I really enjoyed it. But not making this up- the pastor did a few things that came across as flirting with me. I didn't take it that way but his wife did. It also seem that he had dreamed about me and said my name in his sleep. LOL She was not happy. I was being froze out of church activity. I didn't know any of this was going on. I found out about a year after leaving. I'm just done with church organization . I will visit and attend but will never get involved again. My previous church before the jealous pastor wife. I left when the church split and fell apart after the pastor molested one of his kids. The one before that the southern Baptist Sundays school didnt' like my views . I called them out on interracial marriage is a sin. They then started talking Noah ark and 2 of each kind. its a sin for interracial marriage. SO I was froze out. I didn't' even bring the subject up in a controversial way. I just pointed out new testament scriptures that I believe support of interracial relationship. Anyway got froze out after that. Lets see the church before that the pastor had an affair with the deacon wife and left. I've got more cause I was raised in church. SO church has been part of my life since I was toddler. I only took you back 20 years of my 47year life LOL But I'm not totally giving up on church. I just would need to drive over a hour to have other church choices right now. Seriously its sound comical so I get why non Christians don't respect Christianity . I still love Jesus, share his love and bible. I hope one day to find a church that's really living the faith. SO i'm not closed to the idea of church but have not had a church family since 2011 Blessing to each of you. There will always be times in the desert in our Christian walk. I'm happy and have a peaceful spirit . But I know other Christian may loose faith or become discourage without a church family.
  20. Op you can do facebook your way. I have a facebook page I do use my real name but have zero information anyone can read. How you do that is just don't take friend request LOL. I'm on facebook to follow people and professional stuff. . My job pretty much uses facebook and twitter for all emergency notifications now. I have to stay up with technology but I'm figuring how to do it my way. I had an original Facebook account years ago. I didn't like the gossip, the coveting of other people lives and stuff kwim. i'm member of several private groups. I share in the group information I want them to have it similar to this forum. I'm still private but not totally anomous in local group cause the people in the group know me. They understand my need for privacy that I don't do friends because of that reason. The ones that are true friends have my phone number. I'm sure it would be simple for you to do the same.
  21. this is us to except we don't have a sediment filter. Everyone that comes to our house loves the taste of our water. I also will point out my neighbors all have lived into their 80's 90s on untreated unfiltered well water. treated water taste nasty imo. I actually bring my own water with me everywhere I go.
  22. I think you should be supportive but nothing wrong with spelling out to them how dang hard it will be. the one thing you don't' do is against or negative. They remember and be hurt for a long time at the naysayers I was married at 20. It was a mistake and my life has been hard as hell. But we are still married 27 years later. I've been adamant with my sons wait to at least 25 for marriage and a bit later for kids. But if they dont' I will help them as much as they need. I know what its like to be on my own without family support at 18. I think the kids really don't' know what they will miss out on growing up so fast. When they get around 30 they look back and figure out they should of waited to grow up LOL I was working full time and help raised my younger sibling. I was mature and life was life But I still at 47 really wish I would of had those early 20's to find me. When you enter marriage so young. You don't figure out your wants likes. You spend so much time compromising or as most women giving up you to keep a peaceful home. I had a kid at 23 and married someone with bipolar (didn't know that at young country girl 20 year old didn't even know what it was LOL) I went to college at 21 while working, married and a baby. My life has been hard. Now what happen at 30 is they both work at it and stay together or one of them gets wow I haven't bar hopped, dated around and been a selfish 20 something. Then they may end up divorce. But you will be there for her and never say I told you so. My parents were never there for me. Yet I still supported and help them in their later years. Life is not fair or do over. We just do the best we can and be the best people we can be. I know lots of people that married at 17-23 that are still married in their 40's and 50's But all of us have a religious belief in marriage so I think that helps keep- us- keeping- on I know lots of people that waited to marry at 30 and are divorced at 45. There is no guarantee depending on age. It all comes down to how stubborn someone is to keep married LOL. marriage is hard work no matter the age. My sister has been married 3 times and she is divorcing a guy that her marriage to him was his 6th (she is 45 and he is 55) Sometimes people never grow up. Just love and be their for you kids. I think you are doing the right thing for your child
  23. I made payments on my dress in 89. It was 800 dollars. I could of care less my dh loved the dress. He picked out the dress. I let a few other people wear it then donated it to a thrift store in 2001 LOL. It was never my favorite. I was a freaking kid when I got married. Got the dress my dh wanted and the wedding my parents wanted. It was small town bible belt with little life experience.. My dream wedding as a introvert was beach wedding in a halter dress just the 2 of us. Like I said I had no back bone and small town church bible belt southern no life no future mind set so I went with what people expected. I still hate my decisions 27 years later. I really would like a do over of my life.
  24. I never had a limit on Christmas presents. I set a monetary limit in years I didn't' have much money. But I go with the hog wild Christmas LOL. When the boys were younger. They got to open one small present Christmas eve. Then the next morning they could open stocking while waiting for us to wake up. When they were very young we had unopened Santa showed up type of Christmas but started wrapping as they got older. I was always about the fun fantasy land Christmas. I grew up with very little so Christmas is a big fun thing for me Now they are adults. We do Christmas on Christmas eve night. Yes they still get stockings. They usually get gift cards for fast food/gas stuff like that, socks not the kid fun stuff LOL My youngest has a long term girlfriends so I do her a stocking she gets makeup, hair product stuff in hers.
  25. My dad died dec 31 2017, so this is the first holiday season. My mom cried a few times today. For me he is finally out of pain and in a better place. We all deal with death differetnly I hope all of you grieving will find peace and some joy this holiday season Blessings
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