Dd left out of team photo

[hillfarm]

My dd has been a participant in a youth sport for 4 years. We have asked that she not be identified by name in any online photos that might be put up. The mother who does the team photos made the decision to leave dd out of ALL photos, including the team group shot she printed out and framed. I am pretty irritated right now.

 

What do you all think? Am I justified in being angry that she was left out of the team photo, which is not being distributed online? Or should I just suck it up and get over it, since the woman was trying to honor our request?

 

I will see her tomorrow. At this point I am considering saying to her, " Wow, why did you leave Dd out? There is a huge difference between not being identified by name online and being left out of the print team photo. Dd is very hurt by this." She is a photography hobbyist and could easily reprint the team photo and put dd back in. I suspect she did it just because she had to take some photos off the internet that did identify the kids by name and she was mad about that.

 

Oh, Hive, guide me, because I am mad enough to smack something right now.

[zoobie]

She might have assumed you didn't want her photo distributed or displayed at all. I'm sorry your and DD's feelings were hurt.

[Cammie]

I totally get your daughter being upset by this...but as a volunteer in a position where there is a LOT of feedback I can understand that mom's frustration as well.  If I understand correctly she is a volunteer mom who has offered to be the "photographer" for the team.  She thought she was doing a nice thing.  She posted some pictures.  She had to take some down because a family does have the right to control images of its children. She probably gets lots of other "helpful" input from other parents who think she should do something different/better/etc. 

 

My take on this would be to offer to take another team photograph yourself.  Or to ask if you could have access to the digital file so you could photoshop your daughter in yourself.  I wouldn't talk about how hurt your daughter is.  I would just offer to do what ever is required to get to a solution.

[unsinkable]

That is yucky.

 

Where was your DD when the photo was taken? Was it at a game or practice? Did the photog just tell her to stay out of the picture?

[MeghanL]

Since you don't want your daughter's picture & name online...in this day of age the only way to do that is to not be in pictures.

 

The team photo will probably be added to Facebook pages of most of the team. This would not be following with your request. Since they can't control what happens to the photos after they have been distributed, leaving your daughter out is the only way to honor your request.

[unsinkable]

Since you don't want your daughter's picture & name online...in this day of age the only way to do that is to not be in pictures.

 

The team photo will probably be added to Facebook pages of most of the team. This would not be following with your request. Since they can't control what happens to the photos after they have been distributed, leaving your daughter out is the only way to honor your request.

Hillfarm said she didn't want her DD's name online. "We have asked that she not be identified by name in any online photos that might be put up."

 

It seems like photos were OK.

[Melissa B]

As a youth leader, I can tell you that generally in our area there are only two choices. Yes, you can take photographs of my child and they will be displayed at will. Or no, you may not take and distribute photos of my child. I just look at the paperwork and if anyone checks that we can not distribute photos of their child I make sure that child isn't in any photos. I assume the child's family will take personal pictures at any photographed events. Perhaps this woman was under a similar assumption?

 

[MeghanL]

Hillfarm said she didn't want her DD's name online. "We have asked that she not be identified by name in any online photos that might be put up."

 

It seems like photos were OK.

With tagging and face recognition tagging, I don't think that you can have an assumption of your photo being online without your name.

[lavender's green]

Since you don't want your daughter's picture & name online...in this day of age the only way to do that is to not be in pictures.

 

The team photo will probably be added to Facebook pages of most of the team. This would not be following with your request. Since they can't control what happens to the photos after they have been distributed, leaving your daughter out is the only way to honor your request.

 

:iagree:

 

She was probably just trying to do what's best for everyone, based on lots of feedback from other parents.  A lot of young people put pictures online and tag their friends.  She was probably thinking that some people would get upset with her when that happens.

 

:grouphug:  for your daughter, though.  It would have been nice if they had talked with the team about the consequences of it beforehand.  But I suspect it wasn't a malicious thing.

[teachermom2834]

Around here it seems that those in positions to take photos just do not photograph a child at all if the parent objects to posting online. Not saying it is right or wrong but it does seem to be the way these things are being handled. Sorry.

[Joker]

I think she was just trying to honor your wishes and I wouldn't be upset. Most of those teammates will put the photo on FB or Instagram and even if your dd doesn't have an account her name might be written in. It happens a lot on both sites even with those who don't have accounts, and the photographer can't control what the other kids will do with her photo.

[In The Great White North]

 

 

As a youth leader, I can tell you that generally in our area there are only two choices. Yes, you can take photographs of my child and they will be displayed at will. Or no, you may not take and distribute photos of my child.

 

 

Same here.

 

[Word Nerd]

As a youth leader, I can tell you that generally in our area there are only two choices. Yes, you can take photographs of my child and they will be displayed at will. Or no, you may not take and distribute photos of my child. I just look at the paperwork and if anyone checks that we can not distribute photos of their child I make sure that child isn't in any photos. I assume the child's family will take personal pictures at any photographed events. Perhaps this woman was under a similar assumption?

 

That's the case here as well. It's either yes or no—not yes, but only under these conditions.

[Tap]

It gets too complicated for there to be a 'you can do this with my photo, but not that'.  Especially for a whole team of kids.  Due to being guardians, I opt dd7 out of all digital photos.  I have told the teachers I am fine with anything in paper print form, just don't want her online. I am totally fine if they want to use her picture in the room or around school, I just don't want her bio parents to Google her name and find her.  I wouldn't be upset  with the school if they took it one step further and just didn't use any pictures.  Periodically, I Google her and check and so far nothing shows up.  If something did, I would try to have it removed, but honestly I realize that it is unlikely for a person to remain anonymous forever. 

[KungFuPanda]

I feel for your daughter, but it was your decision that took her out of the photos. There's just no way to prevent an entire team from tagging her once digital copies are distributed.

[anneinco]

I am the team photographer for my daughter's softball team, although I did not do individual or team photos. Those were done by a hired photo studio. Thankfully, no one said not to post photos or names online so I don't have to worry about that. (I did do the team/individual photos for my daughter's hockey team a few years back.)

 

Did she take the team photo with your daughter in it, and then photoshop her out? Or was she not included in the photo at all?

 

Personally, I would have taken a team photo to be printed and then either remove/blur faces or take a second photo for online for those who do not wish for photos to be posted online.

[In The Great White North]

 

 

 honestly I realize that it is unlikely for a person to remain anonymous forever. 

 

I actually met an adult (at least 60 tears old) who refused to be in any group pictures.  He claimed that was SOP for bodyguards.

[Garga]

If she's in the picture it WILL find its way online and her name WILL be online with it. That's just the world we live in now.

 

I would find out about photoshopping her in for your own private copy. It can be an annoying process, however, so you will want to offer her at least $30 to do it, especially if she has to take your daughter's picture and can't use one that already exists (in digital format.) She very well may have to, to try to replicate the lighting. And she'll only be able to do it if she has the software to do so AND the know how.

[Guest]

I do this kind of volunteer photography and have run into this situation.  The only thing you can do is not have the kiddo in the picture.  Because what WILL happen is that someone will scan or link the photo on their FB or other site, and the tagging will start.  And the photographer *will* get yelled at.  

 

:0(  

 

It's not your fault...it's not the photographer's fault...it's just that we are all finding our way in this new age of social media and all.  I'm sorry for your daughter's disappointment, though.  

 

I'll tell you something that happened to me:  I had a group photo of an activity I was photographing, and I distributed the photos in emails only to the people who were in them.  I got an email from one person who was in a photo that included 3 people and she spent a *paragraph* in CAPITAL LETTERS telling me that I must DESTROY this photo, never, ever let it be shown on ANY media whatsoever and so on.  I totally freaked out.  I thought I had destroyed some witness protection program or something.  I spent HOURS scrubbing all photos of her at the activity, and replaced the one I had sent to the two others.

 

Turns out she just thought she looked fat.

 

Sigh. 

 

And LOL, now.  

[mathmarm]

I don't think she meant any harm. I'm very sorry that your daughter was hurt, but even if SHE didn't include your daughters name, your daughter could easily be identified once the picture is online and from there....

 

Even though he is only a baby, I don't allow anyone to take digital pictures of Jr., you just never know where these pictures will end up or how they will be used and I'd rather set the precedent with family and friends now than later. There are a few early pictures of him, but I rather take the time and trouble to make and distribute hardcopies myself.

[T'smom]

Be thankful they honored your request. I'm not quite as strict about it (depends on the situation), but I was miffed when my son was in gymnastics and parents video recored and took photos of the class whenever they felt like it. Nobody asked me. Nobody seemed to give a crud about what I wanted.

I have friends that post gymnastics pic of their kids a LOT- but they do blur the faces of any other kids in the pics. Are you sure these parents are posting without blurring or blocking the faces of the other kids?

[unsinkable]

If hillfarm's DD was there for the team picture, the photographer could have taken a shot with her DD in the photo, then sent that version to hillfarm and no one else.

 

It would be a few minutes of work and let her DD feel included.

[gardenmom5]

My dd has been a participant in a youth sport for 4 years. We have asked that she not be identified by name in any online photos that might be put up. The mother who does the team photos made the decision to leave dd out of ALL photos, including the team group shot she printed out and framed. 

 

I'm sorry you're hurting.  it's a hard line for those in charge of photo's to hoe when there are restrictions placed upon those photos. you may have told her not to use your dd's name, but she might not be the only person putting photos online.  some other parent could just as easily have taken that team photo, posted it online - and included all the names, including your dd's if she was in it.  

[Tap]

Just to clarify something:

 

When you said she could put her 'back in'. I read that to mean she was indeed photographed in the team photo, but removed from the distributed photo. 

 

I assume that the picture you were given, had your dd in the team photo....just not the ones given to others. 

 

 

[Catwoman]

If hillfarm's DD was there for the team picture, the photographer could have taken a shot with her DD in the photo, then sent that version to hillfarm and no one else.

It would be a few minutes of work and let her DD feel included.

:iagree:

 

That's what I was thinking, too.

 

And if that was too much of a bother, she could have let hillfarm take her own team photo right before or after she took the "official" picture.

[Wheres Toto]

Not allowing digital photos doesn't guarantee anything either.  Pictures can be scanned.

 

I don't post pictures of other peoples kids on online without explicit permission every single time.  When I take pictures, I try to get just my kids or I crop so mine are the only ones shown.  

[abba12]

I don't use facebook for privacy reasons. I have avoided using real names online even though it's completely acceptable these days. I don't use online accounts like those myself.

 

And yet, I received phone calls and text messages from fairly distant acquaintances while in hospital with my first baby before I had even finished announcing the birth to close friends, because a few teen-aged family members thought nothing of putting the baby's FULL name and birthday, along with photos of me and her, online (and no, these relatives do not have their privacy set to friends only, and even if they did, I doubt they could name all 300 of their 'friends')

 

You, and the photographer, have no control over who posts things. And regarding the parents who blur out the other kids faces, that's wonderful some people are so considerate, but many are not. The concept of privacy is foreign to a lot of people today.

 

I'm sorry, but the fact is if you want to keep your kids names and pics off the internet, the only way to do it is to keep them out of public photos. It's easy to say they could take two, but many people won't even consider that. I totally sympathize, I try to keep my kids pics off the net because of my estranged mothers boyfriend. But the fact is, these days it's either pics or not, because the photographer ends up blamed when THAT parent posts the team photo with all the kids names on their public wall, and yes, it absolutely happens.

[ThisIsTheDay]

If hillfarm's DD was there for the team picture, the photographer could have taken a shot with her DD in the photo, then sent that version to hillfarm and no one else.

 

It would be a few minutes of work and let her DD feel included.

 

I take the pics for our soccer team and have for about six years.  I have not run into this situation where someone did not want their name published, but if I did, it would be likely that I would take the photo without them for all of the reasons mentioned.

 

If hillfarm's dd was there for the team picture, I would have suggested her mother take a photo.  Really, I have enough things to do and sometimes have a hard time getting the team photo out for printing and to the team.  I would have no interest in taking an extra step for just one player.  I'm not being mean, I'm being realistic.  I can't make that kind of commitment, and if it's important to someone else, then they can make their own arrangements.

[catz]

Here when you sign up for a group activity, there's typically a YES - you can use my child's image for promotional purposes, or NO - do not use images of my child.  It seems like quite a bit of overhead to expect a volunteer parent to keep track of everyone's exact preferences.  Not to mention, there is just NO way of keeping other people from tagging/labeling photos that are circulated.

 

This was actually an issue in a homeschool group lately.  We recently had a facebook group added so the general homeschool community could see what we're like and for some high level communications.  One parent said her child's photo can't be on facebook on a public board.  But she wanted to see the board go private.  Well, then we lose the ability to grow the community and there's nothing that says things posted on a private board are going to stay private.  Anyone can download or capture and repost and label at will.  Anything distributed publicly is fair game.  And you may not ever know about it.  So we are allowing parents an opt out of your child in group posted pictures, only admins can post photos on our board, but then you need to ask your child to just stay out of pictures entirely when at our events.  We won't be the problem.  It will be your kid taking selfies with other kids and then posting.  

 

Not having your child in the team picture was actually the photographer's safest and most professional choice in terms of liability.  I would just make it a practice to be there with your camera on team picture day and take your own photos.  I absolutely wouldn't say anything to the photographer. 

[mysticmomma]

Awkward

[Arcadia]

Hillfarm said she didn't want her DD's name online. "We have asked that she not be identified by name in any online photos that might be put up."

 

It seems like photos were OK.

Someone I didn't know scanned photos from a group activity photo in 1986 and post them on Facebook for anyone to tag. I found out about the photos only because I was tagged.

 

Nowadays it is hard to take a polaroid photo and be sure it wouldn't land on the Internet. It is easy to take a photo shoot of a printed photo using a phone and upload anywhere..

[lovinmomma]

No, I'm not sure and that is what bugs me.  I didn't know any of those people at all.  We were new to the studio.  I was rather surprised they even allowed that and seemed to have absolutely no policy regarding it.  It's not the end of the world really, but still I didn't know anyone there so it did make me a bit uncomfortable. 

 

He is no longer in gymnastics. 

You know.... that brings up an interesting situation. I've gone on several field trips this year with my kiddos at their school and at each of them I've been allowed to photograph to my heart's content including dc's classmates. No one has ever said anything. In fact, the first time I went I even asked about other children in the photos and dd's teacher seemed confused why I would even ask if it was ok. Come to think of it.... dh went on a field trip with dsd at a different school and he has tons of pictures from that including other classmates an all the moms were posting pics of the kids on facebook. Maybe it's not as common as I thought it was for parents to not be allowed to take photos of other children at school?

[Arcadia]

Maybe it's not as common as I thought it was for parents to not be allowed to take photos of other children at school?

I have to sign a school district form for each of my kids giving consent for photos of my kids to be taken during school activities. I could withhold consent using the same form.

I think none of the parents and guardians in my older boy's cohort refuse consent because we (the parents) were allowed to take many informal class photos.

[Nart]

You know.... that brings up an interesting situation. I've gone on several field trips this year with my kiddos at their school and at each of them I've been allowed to photograph to my heart's content including dc's classmates. No one has ever said anything. In fact, the first time I went I even asked about other children in the photos and dd's teacher seemed confused why I would even ask if it was ok. Come to think of it.... dh went on a field trip with dsd at a different school and he has tons of pictures from that including other classmates an all the moms were posting pics of the kids on facebook. Maybe it's not as common as I thought it was for parents to not be allowed to take photos of other children at school?

My husband went to our son's preschool Halloween party at the preschool. When he got there with his digital camera around his neck the teacher told him not to take any pictures of "Jane" because her parents marked on her enrollment packet that they did not want any pictures taken of her. My husband was really cautious to make sure he wasnt taking any pictures of the girl. Then Jane's father showed up with a huge digital camera and started taking pictures of all the kids including one close up picture of our son next to Jane. My husband stopped caring if Jane wandered into any picture he was taking. He was really annoyed by the whole thing.

[Guest submarines]

My husband went to our son's preschool Halloween party at the preschool. When he got there with his digital camera around his neck the teacher told him not to take any pictures of "Jane" because her parents marked on her enrollment packet that they did not want any pictures taken of her. My husband was really cautious to make sure he wasnt taking any pictures of the girl. Then Jane's father showed up with a huge digital camera and started taking pictures of all the kids including one close up picture of our son next to Jane. My husband stopped caring if Jane wandered into any picture he was taking. He was really annoyed by the whole thing.

 

:confused1:  Maybe Jane's father was aware that the other parents chose not to opt out of their children being photographed. I hope you respected the privacy of that child and didn't share her photos electronically.

[Melissa in Australia]

Here in Australia there is a regulation that states any child who has been subject to a court order ( this includes all fostered or adopted children ) must not have their photo taken publicly in an identifying manner, this includes group sports photos, etc.

As part of a sport, if a parent asked for their child to not have their photo published, I would automatically guess that the child is either fostered or adopted and would not ask any questions and exclude the child from photos.

[lovinmomma]

I have to sign a school district form for each of my kids giving consent for photos of my kids to be taken during school activities. I could withhold consent using the same form.

I think none of the parents and guardians in my older boy's cohort refuse consent because we (the parents) were allowed to take many informal class photos.

 

That's possible. We have to do the same thing in our district. I will say, though, that it would be surprising that not 1 parent opted out in 4 different classrooms. Surprising, but still possible.

[lovinmomma]

My husband went to our son's preschool Halloween party at the preschool. When he got there with his digital camera around his neck the teacher told him not to take any pictures of "Jane" because her parents marked on her enrollment packet that they did not want any pictures taken of her. My husband was really cautious to make sure he wasnt taking any pictures of the girl. Then Jane's father showed up with a huge digital camera and started taking pictures of all the kids including one close up picture of our son next to Jane. My husband stopped caring if Jane wandered into any picture he was taking. He was really annoyed by the whole thing.

 

I would think maybe the reason the father (assuming it wasn't a foster parent or someone else) was there to take pics is because the child can't be in public pictures taken by the teacher/other parents? Maybe the child is part of a nasty custody battle, or maybe they're worried about privacy...who knows?

[Carrie12345]

You know.... that brings up an interesting situation. I've gone on several field trips this year with my kiddos at their school and at each of them I've been allowed to photograph to my heart's content including dc's classmates. No one has ever said anything. In fact, the first time I went I even asked about other children in the photos and dd's teacher seemed confused why I would even ask if it was ok. Come to think of it.... dh went on a field trip with dsd at a different school and he has tons of pictures from that including other classmates an all the moms were posting pics of the kids on facebook. Maybe it's not as common as I thought it was for parents to not be allowed to take photos of other children at school?

 

Lots of different factors can come into play.  If a teacher has never had a student that was "opted out", she or he may have no reason to ever think about such things.

Some schools/people simply don't take it seriously (which is scary.)  I opted my oldest out on year when he was really little. I did it on a whim for personal reasons that didn't include danger (real or perceived, in my case.)  I still saw a bunch of pictures of him and parents taking pictures of him. :glare:

Field trips probably take on a whole other aspect when they're public space vs. school property.

 

Two of my kids were just involved in an event with our informal homeschool group (no picture policy) at a non-profit organization (where we've signed permission to photograph and my kids have been in their brochures) with public school groups (and I know at the very least that the district we are zoned for requires yes/no picture permissions) at which there were two news camera crews (who I assume are legally required to gain permissions.)

Several PS students made it into the story's footage, so I'm guessing the schools are allowed to grant that permission.  That's not really something I had ever thought about when signing those forms.  Even though I would have been fine with it if it had been my kids, all I can think about are parents who might be fine with snapshots and school programs but would be really upset to find out their child was broadcast across regional news stations.

 

Anyway, I guess my point is that I try to avoid taking pictures of OPKs unless I know their parents well enough to be assured they're fine with it. Because you never know how any of these things will be used.

[lovinmomma]

Lots of different factors can come into play.  If a teacher has never had a student that was "opted out", she or he may have no reason to ever think about such things.

Some schools/people simply don't take it seriously (which is scary.)  I opted my oldest out on year when he was really little. I did it on a whim for personal reasons that didn't include danger (real or perceived, in my case.)  I still saw a bunch of pictures of him and parents taking pictures of him. :glare:

Field trips probably take on a whole other aspect when they're public space vs. school property.

 

Good point! I hadn't thought about that factor.

 

Two of my kids were just involved in an event with our informal homeschool group (no picture policy) at a non-profit organization (where we've signed permission to photograph and my kids have been in their brochures) with public school groups (and I know at the very least that the district we are zoned for requires yes/no picture permissions) at which there were two news camera crews (who I assume are legally required to gain permissions.)

Several PS students made it into the story's footage, so I'm guessing the schools are allowed to grant that permission.  That's not really something I had ever thought about when signing those forms.  Even though I would have been fine with it if it had been my kids, all I can think about are parents who might be fine with snapshots and school programs but would be really upset to find out their child was broadcast across regional news stations.

 

Hmmm... that's not something I had thought about either. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I try to avoid taking pictures of OPKs unless I know their parents well enough to be assured they're fine with it. Because you never know how any of these things will be used.

.

[FaithManor]

In 4-H, it's a yes my child may be photographed and the image used as we see fit, or No you can't photograph my child. Given the number of kids that are dealt with in the county, we can't keep track of a bunch of requests that fall in between. So, every leader keeps a list of whose parents signed the release and whose didn't. The kids with no release are taken to the side and kept out of the picture. We do not use any club pictures online for our club, but our rocket team has to advertise. Additionally, they have to agree to image release to be a part of the competition - no release no competition. It's simply not possible with 100 teams that have 3-10 students a piece on them to keep track of who can be in a photo, who can't, who could be in a photo if there is no identifying information, etc. With professional photographers everywhere taking pics and news agencies as well, they simply had to say if we can't use your image, you can't participate in the competition.

 

I can understand your feelings, but as a volunteer with a ton of responsibilities and a huge amount of information to keep track of, I would not be able to accommodate it and would simply exclude your dd from all photos.

[FaithManor]

Oh, and our 4-H rule is that parents may only photograph their child and cannot take group pictures. Only the club leader may take group photos because the club leader knows who has releases and who does not. Refusal to follow the policy results in the family being removed from 4-H membership. We actually troll the facebook pages of a certain parent in our club who has violated this once and got testy about having to take the group photo down. Every once in a while she brings a camera to club and will try to get us to relent on the rule. We don't. We'd get in trouble with Michigan State University if we did, but because of that, we don't exactly trust her. She hasn't put anything out there so far that would get her in trouble. Whew!

[unsinkable]

I take the pics for our soccer team and have for about six years. I have not run into this situation where someone did not want their name published, but if I did, it would be likely that I would take the photo without them for all of the reasons mentioned.

 

If hillfarm's dd was there for the team picture, I would have suggested her mother take a photo. Really, I have enough things to do and sometimes have a hard time getting the team photo out for printing and to the team. I would have no interest in taking an extra step for just one player. I'm not being mean, I'm being realistic. I can't make that kind of commitment, and if it's important to someone else, then they can make their own arrangements.

Well, hopefully, hillfarm will have the opportunity to get a team picture on her own camera with her DD included. It sounds like she wasn't given that option? It is hard to tell what happened based on her OP.

 

I used to make individual albums for my kids' sports teams, filled with candids. I'd print out dozens and dozens of pics and put them in sleeve albums to give to the kids. I had to make sure i had enough pics of each kid because i didnt want anyone left out. I also used to send copies of the pictures thru email to parents, if they asked. Some of them liked individual pictures and wanted the digital copy. It took a minute or two to find the pic and send it.

 

Taking one picture of the team with the girl, then asking her to step out for the rest of the pictures is not that much more work. Then email that picture to hillfarm. I would want to do it for a family. But your choice if you don't.

[Chris in VA]

Ouch. I can understand your dd being hurt.

 

Everyone has made really good points re privacy, online tagging, etc.

 

I do agree with the person who said the photographer could've at least taken one shot of your dd in the group and printed it out for you personally. I mean, it takes so little time to print a picture, and isn't a terribly big deal to take one for just one person. Like, 5 minutes more work.

I understand why she may not have, though.

 

Perhaps you can take one, OP, at the concluding picnic or the last day, or whatever. (I'm assuming the team is still meeting?)

[marbel]

Ouch. I can understand your dd being hurt.

 

Everyone has made really good points re privacy, online tagging, etc.

 

I do agree with the person who said the photographer could've at least taken one shot of your dd in the group and printed it out for you personally. I mean, it takes so little time to print a picture, and isn't a terribly big deal to take one for just one person. Like, 5 minutes more work.

I understand why she may not have, though.

 

Perhaps you can take one, OP, at the concluding picnic or the last day, or whatever. (I'm assuming the team is still meeting?)

 

It's not necessarily just one quick thing though; often special requests are multiplied.  One exception tends to lead to another.  Also, the photographer/person in charge of photos has more to keep track of.  What if the photo with the person who is not to be photographed/identified gets mixed up and posted online accidentally?  Potential lawsuit.  It's a lot to ask of people who are volunteers (even if a professional photographer takes the actual photos, most likely it is a volunteer who has to manage them). 

 

I also feel bad for any child who feels left out.  But I understand the strict rules put in place by the people who have a lot to lose if something goes wrong.

[flyingiguana]

The reality is that the ability to opt out is not as available as it used to be. Even if the parents are not at the events snapping pictures, the kids likely are. The pictures end up on facebook, people get tagged.

 

Institutions may be able to give you some assurance that your child will never end up identified in an online photo that they have taken, but they can't control all the cameras that are out there. Even if they try and are vigilant.

 

I'm not sure what the reasoning is behind keeping all kids from being identified. For some kids (foster kids, etc), it may be desirable, but I suspect society is going to have to deal with this issue in some other way than just saying no, you can't put those kids online. Cause they're going to end up there.

 

As for other kids who have "nothing to hide" (as it were), I'm curious as to why it's a concern. (Not being snarky -- just wondering) Is stalking or kidnapping the issue? And if the photos are available is the thinking that those kids are more easily targeted?

[hillfarm]

Dd was present and was in the original photo. She was digitally removed and I assume the photographer still has the original photo. I was not present when the photo was taken and my dh was involved in fixing some equipment so was unaware of what was going on. )BTW, he is also a professional photographer). Our problem is not with her photo being distributed, but we don't want her identified by name online. When I filled out the form and indicated that we did not release all rights to photos, I mentioned that in front of the other parents. Most agreed, and so it was determined that the organization would from that point on have a policy that they would not identify individual kids by name online.

 

Unfortunately, the woman who nominated herself the team photographer got mad. She had already posted many things with full names and locations attached. She had to take all that down. It has since become clear that her intention with regard to being the team photographer is to take nice photos and sell them to the group to boost her income. She has no concept of privacy and no sensitivity for what kinds of problems could come up if a kid gets too public of an image online. Her original postings included the team name, city, individual's names, and a schedule of upcoming competitions. It seems that even though she has a teen dd, she has no idea that internet privacy should be guarded.

[FriedClams]

As a photographer, I can totally see where the other mom is coming from. If you told me no pics - then I would assume NONE. I can easily see someone taking the team photo with you Dd in it, taking a snap of it, and posting it to FB. Then - you're mad. Or, I have to make two sets - one for you and one for everyone else. That, IMHO, is expecting way too much of that mom. I'd explain to your dd about why you didn't want her in online pics, why that can be an issue. I can see why your dd is upset, but in my opinion you made the call with the no online photo mandate and the mom was trying to honor the spirit of what you asked.

[Guest submarines]

The reality is that the ability to opt out is not as available as it used to be. Even if the parents are not at the events snapping pictures, the kids likely are. The pictures end up on facebook, people get tagged.

 

Institutions may be able to give you some assurance that your child will never end up identified in an online photo that they have taken, but they can't control all the cameras that are out there. Even if they try and are vigilant.

 

I'm not sure what the reasoning is behind keeping all kids from being identified. For some kids (foster kids, etc), it may be desirable, but I suspect society is going to have to deal with this issue in some other way than just saying no, you can't put those kids online. Cause they're going to end up there.

 

As for other kids who have "nothing to hide" (as it were), I'm curious as to why it's a concern. (Not being snarky -- just wondering) Is stalking or kidnapping the issue? And if the photos are available is the thinking that those kids are more easily targeted?

 

Because a child can't give a fully informed consent and might even think it is "cool" if his pictures are on-line, but then realize later in life that his entire childhood is googleable and copy-pasteable and he has no control over who sees and who stores the images. To me this is a drastic violation of privacy and trust even if our culture wants us to believe that there's nothing to it.

[Guest submarines]

Dd was present and was in the original photo. She was digitally removed and I assume the photographer still has the original photo. I was not present when the photo was taken and my dh was involved in fixing some equipment so was unaware of what was going on. )BTW, he is also a professional photographer). Our problem is not with her photo being distributed, but we don't want her identified by name online. When I filled out the form and indicated that we did not release all rights to photos, I mentioned that in front of the other parents. Most agreed, and so it was determined that the organization would from that point on have a policy that they would not identify individual kids by name online.

 

Unfortunately, the woman who nominated herself the team photographer got mad. She had already posted many things with full names and locations attached. She had to take all that down. It has since become clear that her intention with regard to being the team photographer is to take nice photos and sell them to the group to boost her income. She has no concept of privacy and no sensitivity for what kinds of problems could come up if a kid gets too public of an image online. Her original postings included the team name, city, individual's names, and a schedule of upcoming competitions. It seems that even though she has a teen dd, she has no idea that internet privacy should be guarded.

 

:grouphug:  I also try to make sure my children's images don't end up on-line, and that if they do, they are not identified by names. As many here are saying, this is almost impossible nowadays. Even if the person who takes and posts the photo doesn't identify the child by name, other people won't think twice about it.

 

I've coached my children not to be disappointed if they are not in group photos. We talk about privacy a lot, and it is their choice now as well. I never post images without asking my children first. They've allowed some snapshots of themselves sideways, and when hair obscures most of their face, or when they are looking down--basically when it is "I was there / did the activity" shot, not a recognizable portrait. 

 

I think your irritation with the photographer (and rightly so), obscures what is important here. It is not that DD was photoshopped out of the group picture, but that your privacy rules weren't violated.