Youngest sad and feeling awkward because she is tall.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I don't know what else to say to her. I've told her that her friends will likely catch up. I've told her that it won't matter in a few years. Everyone tells her she is beautiful. But last night she was crying asking if I could find her some tall friends so she didn't feel so out of place. She is about 5'7" at almost 13.

Suggestions? Advice?

[gingersmom]

:grouphug:

 

I was the tallest in 6th grade (5'3) and the second shortest in 7th grade (at 5'3).

 

My nieces are 5'10 and 5'11 and even wear heels that put them over 6 feet!

 

Tell her to stand tall and proud. I am 48 and still bemoan the fact that I am so short (and my kids are taller than me)

[applethyme]

:grouphug:

[Stayseeliz]

It's tough! DD1 is the same way. She's in the 98% for height. She does mention it sometimes but thankfully she has one other tall friend. Our ped is saying that she will be close to 6 feet tall and my 5yo probably will be too. From what I hear from my SIL's they eventually come to embrace it. It's hard when they're younger though!

[history_junkie]

Try to help her see the positives. I'm 5' 10" and I'm still the tallest/tied for the tallest woman in most of my circles. The hardest thing for me was finding clothes, as a teen and now. But I spent a long time complaining about it and I wish I had just learned to accept it earlier.

[Amira]

It is rough- my mother and sisters all had this problem (I only ended up at 5'9" and have always felt short because everyone else in my family is taller than I am, usually much taller). I think it's much harder when you're younger. My mother has talked to and cheered on lots of tall teenage girls- I think it can just help to know that you're not alone. And, maybe, someday, to be proud of it. It can be amazing to be tall.

[chiguirre]

It gets better. Eventually the guys do grow and you're not the tallest person in the room anymore. I'd try to find her activities where height is an advantage. Basketball and volleyball are easy to find, crew if you're near the water. I'd discourage dance, gymnastics and figure skating. These are much harder if you're tall and they just make you feel even worse about not being the sweet, petite little girl you'd like to be. I'd point out that models are really tall, I didn't know that until I was in college. I'm not sure how I missed it, but it would have propped up my 14yo, 5'10" self esteem to have known it.

 

I'd also try to find her stylish clothes that are long enough in the arms. Pants aren't as problematic because they come in lengths. I spent my teenage years wishing I could cuff my sweater sleeves and roll up men's shirt sleeves. This seems totally ridiculous now, but it was a real source of teenage angst for me. Of course, I'm sure I'd have found some other stupid obsession to brood on if it hadn't been the basic unfairness of the length of my arms. Some of this is just unavoidable.

 

Another pet peeve of mine in high school was the annual phys ed weigh in. Now, if you're 5'0" you will weigh 100 lbs, but if you're 5'10" and have wide shoulders and hips (basically I'm built like a linebacker, but I'm a girl) you will weigh 150 lbs at your slimmest and you will be named and shamed in front of your classmates. I hope they're not such jerks about this now as they were when I was a teen, but this was the biggest shamefest of my high school year. All of my mother's sage advice about needing to have a proportional body went in one ear and out the other, until I was older and realized I'd die if I weighed 100 lbs.

 

Finally, and on a completely different note, I'd remind her that her tiny friends quite possibly feel physically intimidated by her. She is a lot bigger than them. I'm a good 5-8 inches taller than most of my friends and just as men need to be careful about looming over women, she needs to be aware of this too. It's not cool to roughhouse with someone who's 10 inches shorter than your and 50 lbs lighter, even if she's your bff and all the other girls are doing it. Of course, this problem goes away as your frontal lobe matures, but at 13 it's something to keep in mind. And, on the plus side, most guys are not going to pick the tall, strong girl to try anything with. Life is much safer if you look like you can kick their scrawny butt. It makes up for some of the teenage angst.

[Starr]

Often it's more the almost 13 than the tall or the short or the whatever. :grouphug:

[Cinder]

:grouphug: No advice but I do know the feeling. I was about that tall at that age and all my friends were short. In elementary school I was the tallest kid in school. The tallest boy was 2" shorter than me. I was even taller than most of the teachers. When I moved on to intermediate school it was only slightly less noticeable because I was among a bigger/different group of kids. It wasn't until 10th grade when all the boys had their growth spurts over the summer that I started to feel "normal" because there were a lot more people closer to my height. I ended up being 5'9" (but grew another inch between graduation and college) and my tallest friend was 5'4".

 

I don't think there's anything you can say beyond your continued reassurance. Thirteen is such a tough age. :grouphug:

[sparrow]

In 5th grade, I remember some formulaic calculation that involved our current height, and other factors, that was supposed to tell us how tall we'd be when we grew up. Mine came out as 6' 3". I cried right there in the classroom. I had been teased since kindergarten for being the tallest person in class--not just tallest girl.

 

Well, I never made it to 6'3". I'm only 5'9" and I love my height now. I can't think of a whole lot that helps when you're 13, other than what you're doing. Does she like Taylor Swift? I think it's cool that there is a tall role model for young girls now!

 

:grouphug: It's hard to see them hurting.

[Lisa in Jax]

If she hasn't started her period yet, remind her that girls' growth is rapid before she starts, then slows after menarche. So, if she's started menstruating, her rapid growth will slow down.

 

It may not help her now, but -- tell her that people tend to take tall women more seriously than short women. I've also read that tall women make more money. http://www.cnn.com/2...cb.tall.people/

 

Remind her that people often value height as a trait of beauty. They rarely say, "Oh, look at those short legs!" They say, "Wow, such beautiful long legs!" Models are tall because height is valued in our culture.

 

http://www.wikihow.c...-As-a-Teen-Girl

 

I clearly remember the period in my life when I felt like an Amazon compared to my 5'4" best friend. I grew six inches (from about 5'3" to 5'9") between the middle of 8th grade and the beginning of 9th grade. When we came back to school, it appeared that I had grown from average height to "oh my goodness you're a giant!" in one summer. That year was rough on my self esteem.

 

It gets better. Boys catch up, and girls grows some, too. Eventually, she will likely get to the point (as I did) where she's proud to be tall. :)

 

Hugs,

[PrincessMommy]

Try to help her see the positives. I'm 5' 10" and I'm still the tallest/tied for the tallest woman in most of my circles. The hardest thing for me was finding clothes, as a teen and now. But I spent a long time complaining about it and I wish I had just learned to accept it earlier.

 

This is me too! I'm quite proud now that I'm so tall, but at 13 it was very awkward.... I don't think there's much you can do but just encourage her that it does get better.

[nancy in nj]

My dd was 5'6" by age 11! At the time, she was a competitive swimmer, and her height was a significant advantage. She was 5'9" by high school--at which point she switched from swimming to rowing (crew). A 13 year old on her team was over 6 feet and another girl was 5'11" and they referred to the 4th girl at 5'7" as the "little one"! Is there a crew team or some type of other club sport (volley ball/basketball) that your daughter might be interested in trying? Sports are a great way for tall girls to build self-esteem and guaranteed that on some of these teams your daughter will be the short one!

[Chelli]

I was 5'10" in 7th grade. I haven't grown since. I HATED, HATED, HATED being so much taller than everyone else. And contrary to popular belief, most people do not catch up with you. Even by graduation, about 70% of the boys were still shorter or exactly my height. Only one girl was my height; all the others were shorter.

 

I have grown into accepting my height. It bothered me for a long time (most of jr. high and high school). Now I love being tall except for the finding clothes bit, but other than that I love it.

 

I have always tended to have friends who were on the taller end of the scale which is nice. I did have a couple of short friends in high school who I'm still friends with, but it's always refreshing to have a friend that you can give a big hug to and not worry about shoving her face into your brea$ts!

 

Tell her to get used to having people ask, "Did you play basketball when you were in high school? Volleyball?" Now I treat it as a joke, "Hello. NIce to meet you. My name is Chelli and, no, i did not play basketball or volleyball in school even though I'm tall." It always breaks the ice and people laugh because that's exactly what they are thinking 90% of the time!

 

If it makes your dd feel better, tell her that I always thought being 5'8" would be the perfect height. :)

[msjones]

I've been 5'9" since my freshman year of high school. It was rough for a while; I remember wanting clothing to fit me well and it just didn't. I wish my mom had helped me look my best, but that wasn't her 'thing.'

 

I suggest, if at all possible, investing in some clothes that she really loves. She can't become shorter, but she can look great in some great outfits that flatter her best features.

[Rebel Yell]

There are many wonderful suggestions for all of the advantages and positives of being tall, but 8right now* those don't mater so much. Sure, mention them as something to look forward to or look into, but also acknowledge that *right now* where she is, stinks. EVERYONE can see that she is tall, Poor handwriting, a messy room, even bad breath aren't as immediately obvious to everybody like being significantly taller than everyone else is. I was 5'4" in 5th grade. I felt like a monster beast until 7th grade, when I go tot he Jr high that also had 9th grade (taller) boys in it. But 5th & 6th grade were horrible! Only 2 other girls were my size, and the boys were TINY! Noone really let me feel bad about it- I needed someone to come along side me, meet me where I was, and be on my side as I went through it- not just tell me how great it would all be later. Later was a long time away to me then, even if it was "only" about 15 months.

 

Do NOT discourage her from dance! (if that is her interest) It might be unlikely that she'll be a principal ballerina in a major classical company, but dance will give her great poise and posture! Many contemporary companies use dancers of all heights and body types. Just find a school that encourages that- ours does! I can't stand to see tall girls slumping over. it makes them look sad and sloppy, not short. There is a 16yo girl who is 6 feet tall in Sweet Child's show choir and dance classes, In Character heels or pointe shoes she is through the roof and GORGEOUS! Sweet Child is almost a full foot shorter than she is, and they are both talented young ladies who have a lot of fun together, even if they do look kinda funny standing next to each other in photos. Diamond's absolutel LOVE is Tap dance, but she can never be a Rockette- she isn't even close to the height requirement.

 

I also agree with finding some FABULOUS outfits that *she* loves. Help her through these rough times while guiding her to the future. And BTW, I only grew another half inch after my monster-beast years. I am now officially "short."

[Davysmom]

mn

[nmoira]

It probably won't help her to hear this, but here it is anyway. The average height for women is 5'4"ish barefoot, but the world is literally built for people 5'10" in terms of aesthetics and functionality. Even off-the-rack women's clothes assume a height of 5'7" to 5'8". The world is built for her. :)

[ElizabethB]

Can she join a volleyball or basketball team where her height will be seen as a positive?

 

My daughter is short and used to feel a bit bad about being short at times, but now that she is doing gymnastics, a sport that favors the short, she enjoys being short!

 

:grouphug:

[lavender's green]

Poor kid! I remember that stage, but I haven't grown taller since then, so I'm average height today! It's hard to stand out so blantantly in the teen years when you're unsure of yourself and just want to fit in. I don't have much good advice because I was too uncoordinated for sports (they would have killed my self-esteem), and within a couple of years of my tall stage everyone caught up to me or surpassed me, so I never had to accept my tallness and move on.

 

I think a lot of times we're our own harshest critics, and people don't even notice our "flaws," or at least don't give them the same weight we do. Or if they do, they won't once the jerky teen years are over. I had hips and breasts and acne after my tall stage! I got a lot of grief for a while, but then the acne disappeared and people started appreciating my curves in my late teen years.

[texasmama]

I was 5'10" at the age of 13 and spent my adolescence feeling awkward and huge. In college, I blossomed and realized that my height was actually an asset. Middle school age was the worst. In high school, the boys caught up with the girls in height so I began to feel a bit less awkward. BTW, looking back at pictures, I was a very attractive adolescent. I was just tall. :) My mother always told me that all the supermodels were tall. This did not make me feel one bit better.

 

My 17 yo dd is an inch taller than me but seems to have grown into her height and not feel as awkward.

 

An issue for me as a teen was finding long enough pants and clothing that fit well otherwise. (long enough sleeves) This is not as much an issue as it used to be, as I can find long jeans/pants at many stores.

[LucyStoner]

I am tallish. For my family this is shortish for a woman- all of my biological female relatives on my mom's side are hovering around 6 feet. My mother was 6 feet tall in her bare feet. Her mom was 5'11 and her grandmother was 6'1". I often felt big and awkward but I made it through middle school mostly by assuming I would be as tall as my mom and play basketball. I was pretty disappointed to not quite hit 5'10".

 

My mother was mortified by her height in the 1960s and actually started smoking at age 11 on the false premise it would make her shorter. She was 5'10" at 11 and taller than her male teacher.

 

I think that sports for girls are great regardless of size but playing sports where the extra size was a help and not a hinderance really helped me and other taller girls I know weather the storm of puberty. It is also a great way to meet other girls of all sizes but there are usually going to be a cluster of tall girls on softball, volleyball, soccer and basketball teams. Track and field is great if she prefers an individual rather than strictly team experience.

 

I also think one reason it didn't get me too down was that I grew up in an area where women are a bit taller than the national average.

[HappyLady]

I feel her pain. :( I was always the tallest kid and constantly got picked on for it. It didn't help that my mom refused to find pants that fit me so I walked around in "floods" and got picked on for those, too. I ended up slouching in my younger years and I regret it now because I have terrible posture. I don't know if this has already been mentioned, but can you get her involved in a sport where height would be an advantage like basketball or volleyball? I know the coaches at my high school were desperate for me to play because of my height, but I had no interest in them. I wish now that I had given them a shot. That might help her to see her height could come in handy. :) And I think this was already mentioned, but show her the heights of all the supermodels. They're all tall. Even people like Taylor Swift are tall and wear high heels! I know it won't be easy to get through to her, but I sure hope she can get past this! Good luck!

[Lisa R.]

I also think its frustrating because people around kids frequently comment on height. My db was over 6'3'in high school. He received constant comments. "Do you play basketball" was probably the most frequent. Although he looks nice and tall by all appearances, when people are told they are tall over and over again, "wow, you're really tall," it can make a person self-conscious.

 

I would venture to says many people have informed your daughter that she is tall. Thank you, Sherlock Holmes, for your brilliant observation. I would use this as an opportunity to train her to be a more sensitive person. Cause her to look outward as she processes her height. Lesson: Do not make obvious comments about someone's personal appearance.

 

"You have really red hair." "You're really tall/short." Or to a lesser extent..."that is a bright red shirt you are wearing" "your house is really small/large".

[gardenmom5]

at this age, if it wasn't her height making her self-conscious, it would likely be something else. My dd was still taller than most of the boys (let alone the girls) when she left 8th grade. (she also had to quit gymnastics because she was simply too tall.) she eventually became comfortable enough with her height (5'11" when she stopped growing by 14/15) she bought three inch heels. (she no longer wears really high heels, they're too uncomfortable.) Her best friend since 6th grade is quite average height.

 

your dd may or may not be done growing.

 

get her into ballet, yoga, something that will work the muscles that affect posture. if crew is available where you are - height is an advantage. (so is being a southpaw. dd's coach was drooling.) the worst thing that can happen is the self-conciousness leads to bad posture that can have a host of negative repercussions for her health. It drives me nuts to see tall women who hunch over, but it makes me sad to see their tall teen dd's hunch over too.

 

Help her find things she's good at so she can change on what she focuses her energy.

 

height is an advantage in cross-country, and swimming as well. (long arms go much further with a single stroke than short arms.)

[Tap]

dd14 is 5'8" and weighs about 112. She gets comments all the time on how tall she is. I know from personal experience that her weight is part of what makes her height more noticeable. I am the same height and she vows to not grow taller than me. The doctors say she has about another year of growth, but she says she refuses to grow any taller. LOL One thing I try to point out to her, is that anytime someone comments on her height, they are saying it in a positive tone. They are often saying 'wow, you are so lucky to be so tall'. I try to help her focus on the fact that people are complementing her on this, not being negative. We talk about how she is lucky that the thing that makes here stand out is a positive one, not a negative one, and that how she carries herself will affect how people see that trait. I remind her that men grow until they are in their early 20s so those high school boys who are shorter than her now, are going to be taller soon enough. I do make sure to buy her appropriate clothes even though they often cost me a small fortune. Long enough sleeves and legs on pants are vital to anyone who is tall and thin. Small sizes are not often made with long arms and legs. I also buy her more shoes than she needs to help her overcome her loathing of her size 9 feet.

[gardenmom5]

I do make sure to buy her appropriate clothes even though they often cost me a small fortune. Long enough sleeves and legs on pants are vital to anyone who is tall and thin. Small sizes are not often made with long arms and legs. I also buy her more shoes than she needs to help her overcome her loathing of her size 9 feet.

 

I found tall men's small would fit her. especially for cold weather gear. I also found which stores carried tall sizes. (jcp were skinny enough. sears were too big around the waist) the biggest frustration dd has clothes shopping is finding sleeves that are long enough. It was a common refrain. off-brands frequently skimp in sleeve length, and overall length. we did costco versions of brands, and they were too short. she had to go to the regular stores and buy the "real" version. She may be 5'11", but her arm span is 6'1". she got my mom's long arms.

[J-rap]

One of my daughters was quite tall and had really big feet at a young age (5'9"). She was always the tallest girl and only a couple boys were her height.

 

I would say, don't let her keep talking and focusing on those thoughts. I think today's culture says to talk about everything and the parents need to be the sympathetic ear, but sometimes it's more important to just be honest and say, "Stop it, now! That's silly!" and help redirect her thinking. (I don't mean for that to come out sounding harsh; I meant it more in a light-hearted way. :)

 

I would use humor, when you can. Are you tall? If so, I would tell her fun stories about being tall yourself. :) But then, move on.

 

Get her some fun fashion items, and help her find her confidence in other areas -- music, sports, etc. It sounds like it could be more of a general self-esteem problem than anything.

[jhschool]

I think it's good to be tall.

 

Nothing wrong with being taller than everyone else.

[tex-bex]

I hit my full height of 5'7 1/2" at 12. I was always tall. Always middle back in every group photo. It was annoying, but sure enough, then everyone grew taller around me.

 

Tall is just her current awkward thing. For other kids, it's glasses, small chest, hairy legs (oh, wait, those were also mine, ha!) or something else. Everybody's got their something. :)

[Alte Veste Academy]

I am 5'10" and DD is following in my footsteps. She gets comments all the time about her height (and has for years). We have taught her to say thanks with a big smile, to view it as a compliment. Any chance you are tall too? DH says quite often around here that tall is beautiful and that my height was one of the things he liked best about me. That makes DD happy, especially since she is still in the stage when she thinks her Daddy could walk on water. ;)

 

Anyway, I would try to reframe it. I would also take this opportunity to talk to her about empathy and tell her that very few people don't have some physical feature that they are self conscious about (as has been said, especially at her age). I also agree kinda-sorta with minimizing it a bit when it comes up--not being insensitive or dismissive, more like a little shoulder squeeze, quick acknowledgement of the pain it causes her, maybe a small comment about all of us having axes to bear, and then a change of subject.

 

Also, while I don't remember being very self-conscious about my height, I do distinctly remember feeling powerful. I can't explain that, really. I hope your DD comes into that feeling. I also help people get things off high shelves pretty frequently. It is my superpower. LOL

 

All that said, always (always, always, always!) make sure she has properly fitting clothes. My mom was so good about this. She told me I looked good in anything and took me shopping as I grew, never letting me stay in anything too short. Now I recognize that her helping me develop a good sense of style and protecting me from the awkwardness of my height being exaggerated by too small clothing helped to insulate me from embarrassment.

[texasmama]

. I also help people get things off high shelves pretty frequently. It is my superpower. LOL

 

Totally. I am a short person's grocery store dream. :D Sometimes I will offer to help short people who are struggling to reach something to save them the awkwardness of having to ask a stranger.

 

Our whole family is tall. Dh is 6'6". I tell people I married him because he is tall. I have a niece who is 6'3". She is lithe and beautiful and carries it with pride. We are just a race of Amazons, and I have learned to embrace it.

[ElizabethB]

I also help people get things off high shelves pretty frequently. It is my superpower. LOL

Totally. I am a short person's grocery store dream. :D Sometimes I will offer to help short people who are struggling to reach something to save them the awkwardness of having to ask a stranger.

 

They just moved the tomato paste I buy to the top shelf of the commissary. If it isn't all the way to the front, I'm jumping for it or accosting the first tall person that walks by! I was a high jumper in high school, so I can usually get it fine by myself if I have to, but it is easier to ask a tall person, although it's probably more amusing to watch me jump for it. :lol:

 

(I actually jumped my highest height when I was 4'11," I jumped 5' at that height. When I grew to my present height of 5' 3 1/2," I jumped 4'10" most meets and 4'8" easily, but never repeated 5 feet.)

[goldberry]

5'10-11 here, DD was 5'7" last year at 13, seems to have stopped a bit. She is taking it better than I did, I am glad to see.

 

Let her know her growth rate will slow down, maybe dramatically.

Make sure she has clothes that fit, even if you have to pay more for them (if you can).

Find some celebrities (Taylor Swift was mentioned) that are tall and beautiful.

Hug and pet her, tell her it will get better.

 

That's it! I am indeed grateful for my height now that I am older. But yes, still hated it at 13. The best part is how easy it is to hide weight gain! But a stick-skinny 13 y/o doesn't appreciate that yet!

[Shamzanne]

double post

[Shamzanne]

Encourage your daughter to stand up straight! It is sad to me to see tall people hunched over trying to fit in. If she stands up straight she will look confident in her height. I was 5'11" by seventh grade (and taller than my parents) and grew to 6'1" by the time I started high school. I got really sick of people's comments. When someone says I am tall I either say "Wow, you are very observant" or else "thank you!" with a big smile depending on my mood. My favorite retort when someone asks whether I play basketball or volleyball is to say, "no, do you play miniature golf?". It always makes people laugh.

 

I learned to love my height (it helped that my high school boyfriend was 6'7") and embrace it. It might help to remind your daughter that of all the physical characteristics that cause someone to stand out being tall is one of the best!

[Alte Veste Academy]

They just moved the tomato paste I buy to the top shelf of the commissary. If it isn't all the way to the front, I'm jumping for it or accosting the first tall person that walks by! I was a high jumper in high school, so I can usually get it fine by myself if I have to, but it is easier to ask a tall person, although it's probably more amusing to watch me jump for it. :lol:

 

:lol: When I see situations like that, I scoot everything to the front if I am not in a hurry. :D

[Ellie]

I'm sure this won't be a consolation to her, but you know, 5'7" is not tall. She may be taller than some of her friends, but as an adult, she won't be.

 

Is she in ballet? If not, consider that to help her with her posture. There's nothing more elegant than a young woman with beautiful posture. Perhaps she'll be so busy dancing that she won't notice that her friends have not matured yet. :-)

 

Some women she might admire (for their looks if not for their character, lol): Anne Hathaway (5'8"); Julie Andrews (5'8"); Audrey Hepburn (5'6 1/2"); Katherine Hepburn (5' 7 1/2"); Sigourney Weaver (5' 11"); Cate Blanchett (5' 8 1/2"); Kate Middleton (5' 9"); Zoe Saldana (5' 6 1/2").' Keira Knightley (5' 7"); Kirsten Vangness (5' 7").' Paget Brewster (5' 8") (the last two from Criminal Minds).

[LostSurprise]

It helps to empathize. It is hard to be 13 and tall. So many of the boys have not hit their growth spurt yet and there's teasing about the most ridiculous things at that age.

 

But also let her know that 5'7" is not really that tall. That's average for a woman. Often people slow or stop after their big growth spurt (I was 5'6" in jr high, 5'8" in 9th, and only grew 2" the rest of hs). Once you get a few years into high school most people envy your height if you're tall. I've never had anyone tell me that I was *too* tall. Much of the time I hear 'I wish I was tall.'

 

My grandfather used to lightly tease me about standing up straight. He was a tall man (6'4") and he told me that everyone can see that you're tall, you might as well stand like you want to see things. I still remember him encouraging me to like my height. It was really helpful to me (and casual enough not to be embarrassing).

[gardenmom5]

. I also help people get things off high shelves pretty frequently. It is my superpower. LOL

I like having tall children. they knew when I called them, I wanted them to get something down for me. =D

All that said, always (always, always, always!) make sure she has properly fitting clothes. My mom was so good about this. She told me I looked good in anything and took me shopping as I grew, never letting me stay in anything too short. Now I recognize that her helping me develop a good sense of style and protecting me from the awkwardness of my height being exaggerated by too small clothing helped to insulate me from embarrassment.

 

I needed to buy 2dd a very dressy dress. the clerks had her modeling everything because she looked so good in everything. (she does have overly broad shoulders that occasionally get in the way of fitting.)

I learned to love my height (it helped that my high school boyfriend was 6'7") and embrace it. It might help to remind your daughter that of all the physical characteristics that cause someone to stand out being tall is one of the best!

 

I loved when dd dated a guy 6'7". for the first time in her life, she felt short.

[Peach]

I was 5'9 by the time I hit high school and topped out at 5'10. Growing up it was really awkward, but my closest friend was my height and my cousin was 2 inches taller, so that helped some. Clothes buying was a PAIN, especially pants. I was thin and it was so hard to find a size 3 or 4 (in pre-vanity sizing days) that weren't way too short. To be honest, I still have a heck of a time buying dress pants. Luckily, here in Montana, dress pants usually means the good black jeans, so I can get then with a 36" inseam :) I wear a lot of skirts too as they are easier to find in any length.

 

I would absolutely encourage her to dance in whatever style if that interests her. It can make a huge difference in getting used to and appreciating her body. I did ballet, tap and jazz growing up, and some musical theatre in college. After college, I became a professional ballroom dancer and competed in the smooth and cabaret divisions. If I had a dollar for every time a fellow dancer or coach enthused over my awesomely long/big/great leg and arm lines, I'd be rich! :) Let me tell you, when you are on a floor with twenty other couples, guess who stands out in the crowd and gets noticed? Contemporary is a style that would be great as well.

 

I played basketball in high school but it wasn't my passion. I went to the flag/rifle corps in the band and loved it. There's another place that my height was a real advantage and I found it easier to wave that flag around than some of the really small members. The trick it to approach anything that might be an interest and try it out without the 'I may be too tall' stigma. You never know what will do the trick. Good luck!

[sparrow]

I actually remember reading that the average height for US women is 5'4" and US men is 5'9 1/2", so 5'7", especially at 13, is pretty tall. At only 5'9", I still feel tall when I happen to notice the height of those around me.

[KrissiK]

Awww, poor thing. I was the tallest girl in 8th grade and had to walk down the aisle during graduation with Jimmy who was the tallest boy and the biggest dork in school (and of course if I walked at graduation with him, I was destined to marry him, right?). I thought I was going to die. But, I didn't die. And I didn't have to marry him. And by the end of my freshman year in hs, I was of average height. Tell her there's hope.

[KungFuPanda]

That's a tough age. Lots of girls find something to be obsessively insecure about at that age. I'd just keep encouraging her, acknowledge that her feelings are valid, and ride it out. I'd also be careful not to boost her ego by putting down her short friends. Some of them love being short, and some of them hate it, but you don't want to set up teams in the What's Better competition.

 

I'd also encourage her to dance if she's interested. It can help with posture and confidence when she needs it the most. It might be worth seeking out a tall instructor. I know LOTS of tall (6 ft or more) bellydancers. They can do amazing things because they have miles of midriff to work with. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. At that age, I hated my red hair because I really just wanted to look like everyone else.