Question for those with a degree that had a career before staying home with your kids

[Mama Geek]

If you could work and make as much as your dh would you want to work for a year or two so that he could stay home and raise your kids and do the homeschooling?

 

I am just as capable of working as husband we have both done contract work and he is just about to finish this contract job and will take at least a month off. He would really like for me to take the next job, partly to keep me sharp, but partly he would like to have much more time off.

 

I haven't worked in 4 years and my last contract job was extremely stressful. I was so glad that I finished when I did. I worked for 10+ years before having dd and I much prefer raising dd to working at what I am trained for and have experience in. There are some things that I am pretty good at, but nothing I am really passionate about doing.

 

So what do you think? I would really like to hear from those who had careers before staying home to raise and homeschool kids in particular of course as always others are welcome to chime in.

[Mama Geek]

Does your husband realize it wouldn't really be like having time off?

 

I dunno. I don't have much of an opinion because I really am not in this situation. I did work a paid job before staying home (and for a time when I had my first son). It's been nearly 10 years now though.

 

 

He has taken time off in between jobs before so both of us have been home for a while here and there since dd has been born. It would be time off from pretty stressful work.

[Arcadia]

If you could work and make as much as your dh would you want to work for a year or two so that he could stay home and raise your kids and do the homeschooling?

 

 

I haven't work in 8 years but if I could get a job similar to hubby's and paying about the same, I would. His current job is much less stressful than my last job and pays much better too. Besides it is good to keep a resume current for the "just in case" scenario.

Hubby would be more of an unschooler and that is not a problem with me.

[LibraryLover]

Yes! In a heartbeat.

[texasmama]

Would this be disruptive for your dd since she is used to being home with you? Is your dh good with a toddler aged child?

 

I ask this not to make any assumptions about your dh's interest in or ability to care for your dd, but based on my own experience,

 

I had a career prior to kids, and I have worked off and on since having kids, both part time and full time. I was also a stay at home parent for seven years with really no outside work.

 

I would likely look for a part-time work opportunity for you and/or dh to help balance things out if he is very stressed out by his work experiences. With one child, this seems very doable. Heck, dh and I balance three younger homeschooled kids with a part time job (me) and a small business run out of the house (him). We have a few hours a week of childcare from my dad, and that is it. Otherwise, we manage.

[Embassy]

It it hard to say what you should do. I quit my career when my oldest was born and ended up starting a business from home that turned into full-time work and then some. Dh ended up as the primary caregiver while I was working from home for several years. While full-time with the kids didn't suit him as well as it did me, he treasured the time. Now that he is working full-time and I'm not, he looks back at that time with fondness. As a bonus he totally understands the demands of a stay at home parent.

[Mama Geek]

Would this be disruptive for your dd since she is used to being home with you? Is your dh good with a toddler aged child?

 

I ask this not to make any assumptions about your dh's interest in or ability to care for your dd, but based on my own experience,

 

I had a career prior to kids, and I have worked off and on since having kids, both part time and full time. I was also a stay at home parent for seven years with really no outside work.

 

I would likely look for a part-time work opportunity for you and/or dh to help balance things out if he is very stressed out by his work experiences. With one child, this seems very doable. Heck, dh and I balance three younger homeschooled kids with a part time job (me) and a small business run out of the house (him). We have a few hours a week of childcare from my dad, and that is it. Otherwise, we manage.

 

Dh is very good with dd.

 

I don't think part time work would really be an option, most of the jobs in the field are 50-60 hours a week or more. The work would have to be contract work for me to get pretty close to the same pay dh has been getting as a contractor. Direct jobs just don't even come close in pay.

[texasmama]

 

Dh is very good with dd.

 

I don't think part time work would really be an option, most of the jobs in the field are 50-60 hours a week or more. The work would have to be contract work for me to get pretty close to the same pay dh has been getting as a contractor. Direct jobs just don't even come close in pay.

Well, that does make a difference. :)

 

I would not be okay with being at home full-time with my two year old and then getting a 50-60 hour a week job, but that is me. If you and dh are okay with it, then it might be the best solution to give your dh a break and keep your income flow going. Also, my field is very forgiving of gaps in employment, so this has not ever been a concern for me in terms of keeping skills/resume up to date. I walked easily into part time and then full time work after that seven year gap. I am back to part time now, but mine is a very flexible field.

[stripe]

If you could work and make as much as your dh would you want to work for a year or two so that he could stay home and raise your kids and do the homeschooling?

 

I am just as capable of working as husband we have both done contract work and he is just about to finish this contract job and will take at least a month off. He would really like for me to take the next job, partly to keep me sharp, but partly he would like to have much more time off.

I would be interested in how interested and capable he is at homeschooling. In some cases, it would be fine. In others, perhaps a few years at school and he could work part time.

[catz]

Sure, if he were interested in having a turn at "homeschooling" I would let him. We used to earn similar amounts and actually had similar titles and job responsibilities when we were both working. I'd probably have a hard time jumping back in right now and earning what he does now, but if that were possible, sure.

[Mama Geek]

He is very into doing homeschooling, now dd is about to turn 3, so there isn't anything formal but we are doing things all the time.

 

It would likely be that I would work a year and then it would be his turn again. He now has more contacts that I do so it would be easy for him to go back in a year.

[Wheres Toto]

We would do this in a minute if I could make nearly the income dh does. Unfortunately the highest I ever earned is less than 1/2 what he makes. He would be wonderful being home with the kids, and sometimes I think I would really enjoy being around adults and having time when there's not someone constantly picking at me.

 

I have been looking for work lately. Not instead of dh but in addition to. Evidently my 8 year gap does count for a lot because I'm having very little luck and previously I never had a problem finding a job.

[8circles]

If you could work and make as much as your dh would you want to work for a year or two so that he could stay home and raise your kids and do the homeschooling?

 

I am just as capable of working as husband we have both done contract work and he is just about to finish this contract job and will take at least a month off. He would really like for me to take the next job, partly to keep me sharp, but partly he would like to have much more time off.

 

I haven't worked in 4 years and my last contract job was extremely stressful. I was so glad that I finished when I did. I worked for 10+ years before having dd and I much prefer raising dd to working at what I am trained for and have experience in. There are some things that I am pretty good at, but nothing I am really passionate about doing.

 

So what do you think? I would really like to hear from those who had careers before staying home to raise and homeschool kids in particular of course as always others are welcome to chime in.

 

 

I think I would NOT WANT to go back to work. EVER. But, "not wanting to" doesn't sound like a good enough reason to say "no" to such a spousal request. In the scenario you describe, I would certainly give it my best shot. I would expect the same from him.

[HRAAB]

Before we began homeschooling, dh's employer was offering a fairly good severance package. That and the fact that his job was very tenuous, we seriously considered him taking the pay out and staying home with our dds. I would have kept working. At that time, I was earning more than him. I actually encouraged him to do it. As it turns out, he got a job in a different dept. so he stayed. I wouldn't mind working part-time, but I have no desire to go back to work full-time. So yes, when I was younger, I would have happily worked and dh at home, but it didn't work out in our case.

[LisaKinVA]

Honestly, I've pretty much worked all my life...these past 3 years have been my longest period of unemployment, since I was 14. I've telecommuted and had contract work since 1997 (when we got married). And (crossing my fingers & toes), I've just gotten a referral that could catapult me back into the "game." I love working from home, but if I could make as much as my dh, and he'd be able to do what I do at home (so that I could do the commute and the hours), I'd switch places for a year...

[Tita Gidge]

For a year or two, sure. And I think the preschool years are an ideal time to do so. This would bring me back home full-time right around the time we were gearing up to begin homeschooling the mandatory years (with a year or so gap beforehand in which to adjust or plan, or both, or simply to ease into a new routine.)

 

I'd do it if I thought my husband was experiencing the same stress I remember feeling when my last contract job ended. I'd do it if I had plans to eventually re-enter the field, and if it would be inevitable that I need to take a job at any point in the next 6-10 years. (I'd rather do it during preschool years than elementary years.) I'd do it if, in general, our marriage tended along the lines of shared responsibilities - as opposed to following more traditional roles. I'd do it if my husband didn't understand what goes into being a stay-at-home and/or homeschooling parent, and our marriage might benefit from his walking a mile in those boots IYKWIM.

 

I'd not do it if my husband and I together had no intentions of my returning to my field within 6-10 years (or before my skills become obsolete). I'd not do it if his personality were such that however desireable now, he might eventually resent my being the breadwinner (personality and cultures at play). I'd not do it if our marriage followed a more traditional gender role format, and I'd be pulling a full second-shift after work hours. I'd not do it if my husband were just asking, as opposed to letting me know that he needs my help - and this break.

 

About me, so you know where I'm coming from: I never stopped working to homeschool. My job is flexible enough that I never had to, to the point I've been able to take years off for pregnancy/maternity. At one point I had three kids back to back and was off work for 5 consecutive years. I don't have a financial need to work, so knowing I can quit at any time undoubtedly influences my POV. Like you, my work is contractual for months or years at a time, depending on the job. Knowing there's a definite end, even if it's farther off than I'd like, is what gets me through those rough periods. From experience, the longer the gap .. the harder it was to return to work.

 

Do you plan to have any more children in the next year that you'd be doing the contract work? That matters, too!

[LMD]

I would if DH requested it - I can probably earn a similar amount to him. Especially if it was just a 'turn' for a year - sounds like the best of both worlds. I do think that if he wants a turn, a real turn where he actually looks after the household chores too, and it's plausible to do it then it's fair to at least try it. I agree with momoflaw. Though I'd worry, because he'd probably do a better job than I do! :rofl:

 

I'd probably find it hard to let go of control of how my homeschool is now run though! But in the pre-school years - for sure!

 

Tita Gidge's questions are good ones to consider, and if this job/field is something you eventually plan to return to then I think your DH's point of keeping up your skills is an important one. A 5-10 year gap is hard to walk straight back in from!

[NotSoObvious]

For a year, maybe. I'm too controlling with school and I'm not sure dh would do thing my way. :) :)

 

I was a teacher, so I wouldn't want to go back for a year or two. When I go back, it will be for a long term commitment.

 

Plus, I still do 100% of the planning and worrying. I'm not wanting to go back to working on top of all that.

[Ali in OR]

I could do it enthusiastically at my kids' current ages. It would have been a lot harder for me in the "child bearing" years, and when my oldest was 3 I was still very much in the middle of that. For me, plans for future kids would have a big impact on my/our decision. I would also recognize that in our case, I would still be planning home school and working full time--dh would be implementing but not planning home school. That would be quite a bit on my plate, especially given that my former career was teaching--don't know if I would have the bandwidth to plan both my home school and a full-time teaching schedule.

[Pippen]

In hindsight, if I could have worked enough to keep my career viable without having to use babysitters, I would have done so. A lot of things changed in the years that I was home and even though I've done a great deal to update my skills, it's very unlikely that I'll be able to break back in.

[Garga]

If you will both totally swap responsibilities, meaning that it's not one of those things where he's the kind of man to expect you to come home and clean all evening and cook him dinner, then I would do it. If he has dinner ready when you get home, does all the laundry and homeschooling and the majority of the cleaning and shopping and divides yard work/home repair between the two of you into equal blocks of time, then why not?

 

My dh is sooooo stressed at work right now and I feel horrible for him. I wish I could do something to help him. If I could work for a year in a field I was competent in, I would do it. It would be cruel not to, since he's asked this of you.

[katilac]

I can't say that I would want to, lol, but I would. Particularly in your situation, in the sense that your dd is so young everything is still quite informal and you won't be switching gears as far as home schooling goes.

 

One thing I would do for sure is give dh the experience of having dd on his own every day for as long as possible before making a final decision or accepting a job. Two weeks would be good, a month would be better. Being a very involved working parent is very different from being a stay at home parent, and the difference must be experienced to be believed :laugh:

 

But basically, yes, I think the privilege of staying home with the kids should be shared if both parents want it, both parents can do it, and both parents can make a living wage.

[MyLittleWonders]

At this point in my life (with a young one still), I would not want to go back to work full-time. Though dh would love to be home instead of going to work each day, I am pretty sure he would never ask. But, we are both teachers - he's a high school teacher and I'm a former elementary teacher. We also both have Master's and have taught as adjunct faculty at a local community college. I have made it very clear that I would never go back into the elementary classroom again. Given that he teaches in one of the highest paid districts around, and full-time pay at the local CC wouldn't come close to what he makes, I can't see us ever swapping places.

 

But, I do want to teach part time again somewhere in the future (I was going to email my former department head when I found out I was pregnant with dd). I don't even see me wanting to do a swap like that though even if I had *liked* my job before I stopped working. I really enjoy being home (though we both knew going into things that ultimately that was what I wanted to do and dh has always been supportive).

[GSOchristie]

I was a teacher before, but I let my licensure lapse. I also have the potential to earn about a third of what my husband does. But in your situation, if you want to give him a break, I'd say go for it! My dh works from home so he sees all that goes into being a SAHM so he would never volunteer for my job :).

[Seasider]

If you have plans to return to work in the same field when your kids are finished home schooling, whether by graduating or a change of method, you will be glad to have more current experience on your résumé.

[Crimson Wife]

If I could make anything remotely close to what DH makes, I'd do it for a bit. I'd be lucky to make 1/3 of his current salary, however. It'd probably be closer to 1/4. He's got his MBA while I only have my bachelor's.

[Cera]

Certainly. In the situation you have described I probably wouldn't "want" to work but it seems fair for you and your dh to take turns staying home with the kids and working. It sounds like you are both equally capable of doing each job and will each make a similar salary so why not allow him to enjoy some time at home with your child(ren) as well.

[Orthodox6]

Questions sounds already [almost] resolved, and happily so, with understanding of and respect for both spouses.

 

With a child of only three years old, I would worry more about how comfortable will the dad feel during those frequent "park days", probably being the only man at the swing set.

 

I left the workforce voluntarily. At the time, DH earned 60% of our income; I earned the rest. He had the Ph.D., I had the masters. Weathering a 40% instant drop in income was hard, but doable.

 

I greatly enjoyed my work at the final job of my "career" (competitive analyst in telecommunications). I'm too old, though, to find work again of that kind. I'm unemployed for the long haul -- unless disaster strikes, and I have to scrabble for something or other.

[LucyStoner]

I've been the main or only breadwinner in the past. I would be happy to do it again in the future. Right now however I am enjoying my first ever stretch of non-paid employment (except for 6+ months as the mother of a newborn and the cancer caregiver for my mom at the end of her life- not really a break in any sense of the word to be frank) since I was 12 years old. Yes, that is right, since I was 12 years old. So right now, it is my turn at home and my husband and I both agree that is best for now. I am far better suited to the teaching part of the at-home gig right now. I will be at home for quite some time to come.

[Mama Geek]

For a year or two, sure. And I think the preschool years are an ideal time to do so. This would bring me back home full-time right around the time we were gearing up to begin homeschooling the mandatory years (with a year or so gap beforehand in which to adjust or plan, or both, or simply to ease into a new routine.)

 

I'd do it if I thought my husband was experiencing the same stress I remember feeling when my last contract job ended.

My husband has at least as much stress if not more than I had on my last job. My last job was as a lead in the office and his job has been a lead in the field this time.

 

I'd do it if I had plans to eventually re-enter the field, and if it would be inevitable that I need to take a job at any point in the next 6-10 years. (I'd rather do it during preschool years than elementary years.)

I would rather not re enter the field but realize that if something happened to dh I might have to.

 

I'd do it if, in general, our marriage tended along the lines of shared responsibilities - as opposed to following more traditional roles. I am not really sure how to answer this, I pay bills and manage finances just because it is a little easier for me. We are Christian and I try to let dh be the head of the house although not always successfully, but we don't really have power struggles over things. I can change a tire and he can wash dishes, but he normally changes the tires and I normally wash dishes.

 

I'd do it if my husband didn't understand what goes into being a stay-at-home and/or homeschooling parent, and our marriage might benefit from his walking a mile in those boots IYKWIM. Dh takes being a dad pretty seriously and is very much in favor of homeschooling and values education as much as I do and is as capable of doing it as I am.

 

I'd not do it if my husband and I together had no intentions of my returning to my field within 6-10 years (or before my skills become obsolete). My preference is to homeschool dd through high school and be too old to work after that since I am almost 40 now.

 

I'd not do it if his personality were such that however desireable now, he might eventually resent my being the breadwinner (personality and cultures at play). I really don't see this being an issue. We've been married 18 years we look at everything as ours already.

 

I'd not do it if our marriage followed a more traditional gender role format, and I'd be pulling a full second-shift after work hours. This wouldn't be an issue either.

 

I'd not do it if my husband were just asking, as opposed to letting me know that he needs my help - and this break.

 

About me, so you know where I'm coming from: I never stopped working to homeschool. My job is flexible enough that I never had to, to the point I've been able to take years off for pregnancy/maternity. At one point I had three kids back to back and was off work for 5 consecutive years. I don't have a financial need to work, so knowing I can quit at any time undoubtedly influences my POV. Like you, my work is contractual for months or years at a time, depending on the job. Knowing there's a definite end, even if it's farther off than I'd like, is what gets me through those rough periods. From experience, the longer the gap .. the harder it was to return to work.

 

Do you plan to have any more children in the next year that you'd be doing the contract work? That matters, too!

Since I am almost 40 and we had a really hard time conceiving the first time, I really don't expect more children although we would both be thrilled if it happened.

[Mama Geek]

Questions sounds already [almost] resolved, and happily so, with understanding of and respect for both spouses.

Hmmm...can you tell me what the resolution is, my dh and I would both like to know?

 

With a child of only three years old, I would worry more about how comfortable will the dad feel during those frequent "park days", probably being the only man at the swing set. In the areas that we have lived in I have seen fathers sometimes.

 

I left the workforce voluntarily. At the time, DH earned 60% of our income; I earned the rest. He had the Ph.D., I had the masters. Weathering a 40% instant drop in income was hard, but doable.

 

I greatly enjoyed my work at the final job of my "career" (competitive analyst in telecommunications). I'm too old, though, to find work again of that kind. I'm unemployed for the long haul -- unless disaster strikes, and I have to scrabble for something or other.

[Orthodox6]

I tried to be supportive, based upon what I had read. You sound a tad miffed in response.

 

Best wishes.

[Mama Geek]

I tried to be supportive, based upon what I had read. You sound a tad miffed in response.

 

Best wishes.

 

I wasn't upset in the least by the comment, I thought it was funny and was trying to be funny as well and we would like to know what you think the answer is.

[Truscifi]

I would not want to go back to the career I was in before I quit to stay home with ds, but it was a very stressful line of work. If I could go into a different field and our income level would stay the same, I still wouldn't really want to, but I would if it were important to him.

[KungFuPanda]

If you could work and make as much as your dh would you want to work for a year or two so that he could stay home and raise your kids and do the homeschooling?

I am just as capable of working as husband we have both done contract work and he is just about to finish this contract job and will take at least a month off. He would really like for me to take the next job, partly to keep me sharp, but partly he would like to have much more time off.

I haven't worked in 4 years and my last contract job was extremely stressful. I was so glad that I finished when I did. I worked for 10+ years before having dd and I much prefer raising dd to working at what I am trained for and have experience in. There are some things that I am pretty good at, but nothing I am really passionate about doing.

So what do you think? I would really like to hear from those who had careers before staying home to raise and homeschool kids in particular of course as always others are welcome to chime in.

 

 

I absolutely would, but my husband makes 3x what I did, so it's not financially feasible. It would be awesome to give him a chance to run the house and homeschool while I took a turn at 9-5 life. Why not? I'm sick of laundry!

[Liz CA]

I am addressing the point where you wrote that you will be too old to work once homeschooling is finished.

Perhaps this is field-specific but I am not too old to work now and I am well OVER 40, in fact much closer to 50.

I am re-entering my field, have to do some more practicum hours, etc. - not because I am coming back to it but because

I did not finish all required hours years ago before kids.

 

I do remember your mentioning that you are not particularly passionate about your field.

If my dh needed a break and I could do it, I would try to give him the break. Sit together and make a plan. What kind of contract

will you accept, for how long, when will it end, etc.

If you have a certain time (or class level) you want to teach yourself, make this known and plan for it so your dh knows when he needs

to jump in again.

 

I definitely think it's doable if both of you agree on important points. Sometimes it starts with knowing what the important points are and it takes some time to think it through for both of you.

[kiwik]

If it is contract work can you get a 3 month contract? If you could do that each year things would be a lot easier if you ever found yourself having to return to work.

[elegantlion]

Yes, I would. I worked until ds was born, I was 30 when he was born. If I could have earned as much as dh, there would have been times when ds was little that we would have switched out roles for a period of time.

 

Stress builds over time and I believe there is great benefit from having the ability to step away from a high stress job for a period of time - not many people have that luxury to step away and return to work

Your dd's age makes this an ideal time to switch out those roles, dads need time with their children too.

Keeping skills fresh can be important down the road

[Jenny in Florida]

As much as it surprised me, we've found having me mostly home and my husband mostly working has been the appropriate division of labor.

 

When we first moved in together, I was the primary breadwinner. Within about five years, we had achieved parity. And we remained on that even footing until I took maternity leave.

 

The assumption had always been that me taking time off would be temporary. In fact, I was back doing contract/freelance work by the time our daughter was eight weeks old. And I continued to do that until I got pregnant with our son three years later, making anywhere from one-third to one-half what I'd made full time and without needing to put our daughter in day care.

 

However, that second pregnancy just knocked me on my you-know-what. And so I took what we all assumed was a "break.

 

And at about that point, my husband's salary began to rise, until he was making about what the two of us used to make, combined.

 

In the meantime, I started homeschooling our daughter and taking care of more and more things at home that we might otherwise have farmed out to others. We dealt with a few family crises, finding that having me available to handle things while he was out making money worked really well.

 

When the kids were little, I did get a part-time retail job for about three years to see us through a rough patch in my husband's career. I didn't mind working, but my husband was, to put it simply, not as good at being the at-home parent. He's just not comfortable or happy doing all of the things I do. He doesn't enjoy teaching. He doesn't cook. He has physical limitations that would make it impossible for him to keep up the pace I do driving kids to activities. In the intervening years, any time he's had to step up and "be me" for a few days for whatever reason, it's remained very clear that he is unhappy doing my job.

 

Meanwhile, I never had a job I actually liked or found as interesting or challenging as I have found being a mom.

 

So, while I have complete faith he "could" have been the primary at-home parent, he would have been miserable doing it. And, while I am certainly capable of supporting us if I needed to do so, I have no passion for getting out there and succeeding in the big, wide world and don't feel like I'm missing anything or like I "gave up" anything to be here. Consequently, there's really no reason for us to have traded roles at any point.

[Pippen]

I am addressing the point where you wrote that you will be too old to work once homeschooling is finished.

Perhaps this is field-specific but I am not too old to work now and I am well OVER 40, in fact much closer to 50.

I am re-entering my field, have to do some more practicum hours, etc. - not because I am coming back to it but because

I did not finish all required hours years ago before kids.

 

 

Returning later definitely is field specific, plus related to the regional job market. When I left teaching, half of the new hires were experienced, many of those moms coming back after some years at home. Since that time there would be occasional years that the job market was tight here, but once the economy collapsed jobs have become very competitive in our area--usually hundreds of applicants for every position. I only know of one person over the age of 40 that got back on without the district being in a desperation situation (ie needing a math teacher at the last minute). Even routes to get back on that used to be successful--such as long term subbing and taking additional coursework--won't get an older, more expensive and soon to feed into the pension system teacher through the doors.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

If you could work and make as much as your dh would you want to work for a year or two so that he could stay home and raise your kids and do the homeschooling?

When we were homeschooling the answer would have been a resounding yes, if the salary was guaranteed. DH is a much better homemaker than I am. The homeschooling would have been different with DH though. There would have been more online work and field trips and much less individualized curric. for DS.

 

I am just as capable of working as husband we have both done contract work and he is just about to finish this contract job and will take at least a month off. He would really like for me to take the next job, partly to keep me sharp, but partly he would like to have much more time off.

 

Does he need an extended vacation or does he really want to be a SAHD? Is he willing to commit to being home for an indefinite amount of time? What does he consider 'much more time'? What are your future plans for your family? If you are planning on having more children, are you willing to return to work after other children are born? Is your DH willing to raise a newborn and homeschool?

 

I haven't worked in 4 years and my last contract job was extremely stressful. I was so glad that I finished when I did. I worked for 10+ years before having dd and I much prefer raising dd to working at what I am trained for and have experience in. There are some things that I am pretty good at, but nothing I am really passionate about doing.

 

I would do what makes you happy. If work is stressful and you prefer being home than I would seriously reconsider returning to work. The bold part (mine) is what causes me pause.

 

So what do you think? I would really like to hear from those who had careers before staying home to raise and homeschool kids in particular of course as always others are welcome to chime in.

 

 

I have not worked FT in 10 years. Now that I need to find FT work, I am finding that I am not as competitive as I once was. I am no longer the young, talented go-getter. I am simply a 40's something mother returning to the work force. I have 5.5 years of part-time teaching experience but it appears that is not enough in my area where many, many people are laid off from full-time positions.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Returning later definitely is field specific, plus related to the regional job market. When I left teaching, half of the new hires were experienced, many of those moms coming back after some years at home. Since that time there would be occasional years that the job market was tight here, but once the economy collapsed jobs have become very competitive in our area--usually hundreds of applicants for every position. I only know of one person over the age of 40 that got back on without the district being in a desperation situation (ie needing a math teacher at the last minute). Even routes to get back on that used to be successful--such as long term subbing and taking additional coursework--won't get an older, more expensive and soon to feed into the pension system teacher through the doors.

 

 

This is exactly what is happening in my area. :(

[Dandelion]

Personally, I would love to go back to work.

 

I left a long-term career and a large salary to stay home and homeschool. At times, I was earning more than DH. He has now significantly surpassed my previous earnings, and I would likely be coming in at a lower salary than the one I left now that I've been out of the workforce for 4 years. But I could earn enough to very comfortably support our family. I wouldn't want to go back for just a few years though. If and when I go back to work, I want to stay.

 

However, reality is that I'm the better "fit" for homeschooling DS, due to his special needs. So a return to full-time work is out of the question for me right now. I'm always looking for part-time opportunities (just to keep my resume relevant), but I haven't been able to find any that are on the same (or similar) level professionally.

[lil' maids in a row]

No. I love being home and I love homeschooling. We have three young kids, so home is a very busy place. Dh says he needs to go to work for the peace and quiet. (he works in a train yard :-).

[prairiewindmomma]

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[2squared]

Well, I am 39yo and I returned to work FT last week and dh became a SADH. He was a SAHD for 3 years then I was a SAHM for 8 years, and now dh is back to being a SAHD. I don't want to work. I much prefer being at home and homeschooling my kids. But...life happens. I can work, and even after 8 years at home, I out earn my dh. It's not "fair" that I'm working when I don't prefer it, but it's not "fair" that dh was working and he didn't prefer it either. KWIM? My dh needed out of his situation, and he couldn't find a way out on his own. I am the only solution we came up with, even though it meant putting the kids in public school this year and parochial school next year.

 

If you have the ability to do the same for your family, I think it is the right thing to do. You don't prefer to work, but neither does your dh. Taking turns seems like an equitable solution.

 

I hope to turn my situation in a lucrative part-time position while dh builds a part-time practice of his own. I would love for us to have two part-time jobs.

[2squared]

I have not worked FT in 10 years. Now that I need to find FT work, I am finding that I am not as competitive as I once was. I am no longer the young, talented go-getter. I am simply a 40's something mother returning to the work force.

 

This is certainly something to seriously consider when making a choice to keep your skills current. I am so very, very fortunate to have been a talented go-getter who racked up fantastic experience before staying at home, and then I found a company who needed my particular skill set. Most women I know who try to re-enter after significant years away, regardless of field, have a difficult time with re-entry.

[Tarreymere]

We actually did that for two years, before dh decided he just wasn't cut out to be the one at home. His personality just found it difficult to deal with the challenges of being at home and teaching. Unfortunately, I was the higher wage earner but I do prefer to be at home so some financial adjustments were necessary. I doubt he'll want to switch again so I'm not particularly worried about keeping up my skills in my area, in fact I'm branching out into an entirely new field that I've always been interested in and I hope that in the approximately ten years I have left before the youngest kids are done with school that I'll have developed enough of a skill set that I'll be able to continue on with it.

Dh would love to be at home to concentrate on his music, but he would have to win the lottery or something, because he would prefer that I continue to manage the kids and their education and run the house.