Do you allow your daughter(s) to wear bikinis? (Poll)

[Joker]

 

Do they care about looking at mostly naked children? I don't know, but I'd rather not experiment with my kids, kwim? Teen bodies are gorgeous, who can resist looking at a toned teen when they are barely covered? No man I know. It's just asking for attention and ogling, IMO.

 

That's not to say I didn't wear a bikini and want/like that attention. ;) I just don't like thinking of men looking at my daughter in a sexual way.

 

 

Um, I live near the beach and have never once seen my dh ogling teen bikini clad bodies. I notice a very few whose heads are turned by it but it's not the norm.

[Galatea]

My daughter doesn't wear a bikini now (amazingly to me at least, many 4 year olds do) and I will never buy her one or let her wear one. Modesty is very important to me, and I am not even religious. Here is an article that explains a lot of my personal feelings about the issue: http://www.beautyredefined.net/modest-is-hottest-the-revealing-truth/.

 

The article mentions studies (and I have read other similar ones) that say that "body-bearing clothing leads to greater states of self-objectification, body shame, body dissatisfaction, and negative mood (the latest study of this kind was just published in May 2012’s Sex Roles academic journal)."

 

I think revealing clothing, including bikinis, do exactly this. They tell our daughters that their bodies and how they look are the most important value they have. I hope to minimize any issues my child has with body shame as much as possible.

[DarlaS]

 

I would not recommend something like this:

http://www.roxy.com/...585018.16816366

 

 

"Wild escape" :w00t:

 

Yeah. That would be about right. :leaving:

[Roadrunner]

At the ages of my girls right now, I don't really care. Around 6 or 7 our rule will be no two-pieces, although a full-covering tankini might be allowed depending on the suit and situation.

 

 

This is really interesting to me. I come from a super traditional society, yet no girl until 8 ever even wore a top. We all ran around in underwear on the beach. If there is no breast, what is there to cover? I am always puzzled when I see 3year olds wearing swim tops. To me, that looks a lot more like a woman and inappropriate.

 

I don't have girls and I wish I looked dissent in bikinis. I don't have a problem at all. That's all we wore growing up on the beach since that's all that was sold.

[6packofun]

Not sure how to vote... I never buy our girls bikinis for swimwear, but after age 14 I let them choose. I encourage them to wear a tankini or one-piece (prefer tankinis), but the choice is theirs. They just don't choose bikinis.

 

My dd17 says that she doesn't want her mindset to be about how little or small a bathing suit can she wear? (Or how small a size? How low can my shirt be in front before I look like I'm trying to show something off? LOL How tight can I get away with wearing these jeans?, etc.) or to have an "if you got it, flaunt it" attitude when it comes to fashion. There *are* different standards for the beach, but we still can't justify wearing a bra and panties out in public, even if the material is different. lol

[lovemykids]

“We don’t believe in swimming.†Funny! :smilielol5:

[vettechmomof2]

She would not choose to wear a bikini. She prefers a tankini top and board shorts with a rash guard shirt for when out of the pool.

 

My son also wears a rash guard shirt and board shorts. Most years my daughter gets board short colors that my son wears as hand me downs. Although she did threathen him with a flowery purple this year :)

[MiniBlondes]

“We don’t believe in swimming.†Funny! :smilielol5:

 

 

Hey... I wanted to give everyone an option. Lol!

[2squared]

My dd wears tankinis, but she hates the the bottom part of the tankini always floats up in the water when she's swimming or jumping in. This happens to my tankinis too. Are we the only people with this problem? We've purchased suits from Target, JCPenney, and Land's End and it happens with all of them. She's asking for a bikini type top this year b/c the tankini issue annoys her. Any ideas on how to stop the tankini from doing this?

[BigMamaBird]

No bikinis, but we do allow tankinis. They're more comfortable for my long torsoed DD and it's easier to use the restroom.

[Mrs Mungo]

No. I don't see the point. :confused1: Like "hey pedophiles, look at all my SKIN!!" There are plenty of cute one-pieces.

 

 

A one piece swimsuit would not prevent such a person from ogling a child...any child, no matter how they are dressed. Could we stop with the body shame? Your emotional baggage (mentioned in your other post) has nothing to do with anyone else.

[Mergath]

I don't have a problem with it. My dd is only four, of course. But she's always worn a two piece suit. Much easier to go potty in. As long as it isn't some trashy thing that would look appropriate at the Playboy mansion, it doesn't bother me.

[KungFuPanda]

I allow my daughter (16) to wear a bikini, and she usually has at least one each summer. However, she usually wears a rash guard over it just because she's too lazy to put sunscreen everywhere.

 

I also wear a bikini to the pool, but usually wear a sundress over it and sit in the shade. I'm fair and freckled. I'm completely comfortable going in the water in just my bikini, but I have no moral hang-ups about the midriff and don't find it any more scandalous than thighs or shoulders.

 

In a way, modesty is about not attracting undue attention to yourself. At the beach, the guy in the three piece suit is going to get stared at. I'm all about not wearing the odd look-at-me outfit.

[Georgiana Daniels]

We're a tankini family. While we advocate modesty, we're also fairly practical and realize some of the cutest suits are tankinis. Plus it's easier to go potty ;)

[justamouse]

I have a question for people who will not let their kids wear bikinis..

 

Do you live by a body of water/have a pool?

 

We're in the pool every day it's sunny, and when I didn't have a pool, we were at the lake every sunny day. It's normal for us to get 5 swim suits per kid every summer. We also go to the shore all the time.

 

I think if I lived at the shore (that's NJ for beach) it'd be different, but in a better way. :D

[Mrs Mungo]

I allow my daughter (16) to wear a bikini, and she usually has at least one each summer. However, she usually wears a rash guard over it just because she's too lazy to put sunscreen everywhere.

 

I also wear a bikini to the pool, but usually wear a sundress over it and sit in the shade. I'm fair and freckled. I'm completely comfortable going in the water in just my bikini, but I have no moral hang-ups about the midriff and don't find it any more scandalous than thighs or shoulders.

 

In a way, modesty is about not attracting undue attention to yourself. At the beach, the guy in the three piece suit is going to get stared at. I'm all about not wearing the odd look-at-me outfit.

 

 

Agreed.

 

For the record? I wear my bikini top and skirted bottom at the beach. Maybe I am too out of shape (after 3 kids and beyond 40) for that according to some, but that is their problem, not mine. The 60+ year old topless ladies on the beach in France sure don't let it stop them. And maybe this or that isn't modest enough for some, but nobody needs to hold to *your* standards except you because modesty is *purely* cultural and nothing else.

 

[StephanieZ]

I put bikinis in the same category as red nail polish, face make-up, and high heels, etc.

 

I think that skinny beautiful young women should enjoy their beauty. :) It doesn't last that long for most of us, lol. I am glad I enjoyed wearing bikinis in my late teens and early 20s when I could!

 

I allowed my dd to begin wearing bikinis at age 14 (almost 15).

 

Red nail polish and high heels are allowed at 16 in our family, but dd16 hasn't been interested yet.

 

My idea is that there are certain clothing items and make-up, etc, that signal a degree of sexuality that I think it inappropriate in young children. At some point, in the mid to late teens, I feel that it becomes the girl's power and decision on how she wants to appear -- to a reasonable degree, and I feel it is OK for her to enjoy being sexy and beautiful.

 

My dd has reasonable and modest taste, so I haven't had to get into discussions over inappropriate clothes or bikinis, but I would intervene if I thought she was wearing things that sent the "wrong message".

[Joker]

I have a question for people who will not let their kids wear bikinis..

 

Do you live by a body of water/have a pool?

 

We're in the pool every day it's sunny, and when I didn't have a pool, we were at the lake every sunny day. It's normal for us to get 5 swim suits per kid every summer. We also go to the shore all the time.

 

I think if I lived at the shore (that's NJ for beach) it's be different, but in a better way. :D

 

 

I already answered, but yes we live near the beach and spend a lot of time there and in our neighborhood pool. We don't do bikinis due to health reasons. We burn easy and have already had several cases of skin cancer and pre-cancerous cells removed within our family. My dds have several different sets of board shorts and rash guards as well. They're not the only ones in that attire either so it's no big deal. I'm the oddball at the beach watching her dds while almost fully covered and under the umbrella because I burn no matter what I do. It is what it is.

[*Lulu*]

I voted "other".

 

Sister wears tankinis because they are much more modest than her coming out of the bathroom with her suit around her ankles! :p

 

If she wanted a bikini, and it actually fit her in a way that it would stay on, I would let her get it. When she is an older teen I will still let her and, as long as it is not a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, do not anticipate this being the hill I die on.

 

DH, on the other hand, says she is not ever wearing a bikini. Sort of the same way he says she won't date until she's thirty, wear a tankini, shave her legs or get a bra before she's 13, or paint her nails anything except pale pink. (Funny thing since she does the last four already. Poor DH and my DBIL are going to need medication when she actually goes on her first date!)

 

Lest anyone think DH does not have a say with his child, he does. We have mutually agreed that in this area he has zero perspective and I get to take point.

[caroljenn]

You are not the only one. My dd is 15 1/2, 5'8" 115 lbs and has legs that don't quit. No way am I letting her wear a skimpy bikini so all the young, middle and old men can ogle her. Not a chance.

 

She wears tankinis, and even then there is a bit of skin showing between her bikini bottom and the top because she's so tall. She usually wears a rash guard at the beach because she boogie boards (Southern Calif) and that problem is solved.

 

There are so many freaks and weirdos, I am not going to have them zero in on my dd. Let them look at someone else's dd. There are plenty of girls out there barely dressed. Not mine.

 

p.s. she also doesn't wear short shorts and her bra straps are tucked nicely into her shirt. She is allowed to wear what used to be regular length shorts (4 inch inseam) and with her legs, that's plenty of skin showing.

[caroljenn]

I have a question for people who will not let their kids wear bikinis..

 

Do you live by a body of water/have a pool?

 

We're in the pool every day it's sunny, and when I didn't have a pool, we were at the lake every sunny day. It's normal for us to get 5 swim suits per kid every summer. We also go to the shore all the time.

 

I think if I lived at the shore (that's NJ for beach) it'd be different, but in a better way. :D

 

Yes I do. I live in Southern California about 30 minutes from the beach. We could go every day if we wanted to. I don't know what that has to do with wearing a bikini though? We don't dress like nuns and we do wear "normal" bathing suits, but bathing suits don't HAVE to be skimpy. Tankinis are fine. Dd wears tankinis, or tankinis covered by a rashguard, and I wear a normal one piece cutesy bathing suit, not a speedo or something like that (although I have those too). If you live by the water, aren't you worried about losing your top or bottoms? I have had it happen to me because I have lived here my whole life. In the summer, we would go to the beach 3-4 days a week. I've had my triangle bikini top ride up after a wave countless times and I don't want it happening to dd.

 

If I had a pool in my backyard and no one was over, I might allow a bikini, but there is really no need for one. Dd is a conservative dresser from years of private school, and doesn't want to wear one anyways!

[Word Nerd]

Bikinis mean the top and bottom fit well, even if the body doesn't fit in the typical suit cut. It means one doesn't have to pull up the front or tug on the bottom in order to stay comfortable.

 

In theory, perhaps. I've seen lots of girls and teens tugging, pulling, and adjusting their bikinis. The way they fit (or rather do not fit) is one of the reasons I don't care for them.

[KungFuPanda]

Shout out to all the moms who will put shorts over their bikinis because they're too lazy to shave properly!

 

Yep, I picked out my last bikini because it had matching shorts ðŸ˜ðŸŒŠðŸ‘™

[sparrow]

Yes, I've allowed dd to wear a bikini. I also allowed her to swim in only her underpants in Lake Michigan when she was 4. Sometimes those waves beckon and you have to pull off the road and GET IN, whether you have a suit or not ;).

 

If you think pedophiles are only looking at children that wear less clothing, you're wrong.

[missmoe]

No, we do not allow bikinis because we don't feel it is modest. My girls are allowed to wear tankinis as long as the top is long enough to cover her up.

 

As young children, my girls wore rash guards and board shorts for swim suits. I don't require this, but I've noticed that as they've grown into teens they still feel most comfortable wearing board shorts over their swim suits.

 

Wanted to add--we have a pool where we live. We live a few blocks from a community pool where my kids swim almost everyday during the summer and we live 10 minutes from the beach. Makes no difference in our swim suit standards.

[MercyA]

I have a question for people who will not let their kids wear bikinis..

Do you live by a body of water/have a pool?

 

Yes, we live by a body of water. Yes, we have easy access to a pool.

[DawnM]

I am not anti-bikini, it is just hard to find one that covers up the essentials anymore. The kind the beach volleyball players wear would be ok, it it more like a sports bra with no cleavage up top and fairly generous on the bottom.

 

I just take issue with things hanging out.

[FaithManor]

 

Do they care about looking at mostly naked children? I don't know, but I'd rather not experiment with my kids, kwim? Teen bodies are gorgeous, who can resist looking at a toned teen when they are barely covered? No man I know. It's just asking for attention and ogling, IMO.

 

That's not to say I didn't wear a bikini and want/like that attention. ;) I just don't like thinking of men looking at my daughter in a sexual way.

 

 

Don't drag my dh into nor my sons. They don't ogle women. I don't think Bill here on the board ogles women. Ogling women has nothing to do with what they are wearing. I've seen guys ogle nuns. That kind of guy is that kind of guy. I'm not putting the burden on women to control the thoughts of others.

 

I'm not certain what kind of men you've been around all your life. I'm sorry if they are all primates. I've been blessed to be around a LOT of truly great guys who don't spend time staring at women.

 

Faith

[sparrow]

 

 

Don't drag my dh into nor my sons. They don't ogle women. I don't think Bill here on the board ogles women. Ogling women has nothing to do with what they are wearing. I've seen guys ogle nuns. That kind of guy is that kind of guy. I'm not putting the burden on women to control the thoughts of others.

 

I'm not certain what kind of men you've been around all your life. I'm sorry if they are all primates. I've been blessed to be around a LOT of truly great guys who don't spend time staring at women.

 

Faith

 

 

YES!

[4kidlets4me]

By bikini I don't mean 4 triangles sewn together either. My DD wears a full coverage bottom(sometimes even cute shorts) and a bikini top. There is no tugging or wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.

[MercyA]

In a way, modesty is about not attracting undue attention to yourself. At the beach, the guy in the three piece suit is going to get stared at. I'm all about not wearing the odd look-at-me outfit.

 

I agree that one shouldn't dress to draw attention to oneself. However, I'm not going to show more skin just to fit in, and I'm not going to stay home, either. I'll wear my modest suit and be comfortable and happy. I really don't care what anyone but God and my husband think of it. ;)

[cathmom]

 

 

This is really interesting to me. I come from a super traditional society, yet no girl until 8 ever even wore a top. We all ran around in underwear on the beach. If there is no breast, what is there to cover? I am always puzzled when I see 3year olds wearing swim tops. To me, that looks a lot more like a woman and inappropriate.

 

I don't have girls and I wish I looked dissent in bikinis. I don't have a problem at all. That's all we wore growing up on the beach since that's all that was sold.

 

I always thought bikinis looked dopey on little girls too.

 

Once I get in better shape, I would consider a bikini too. I've never really worn one. I had a two piece in my 20s that was a bikini top with shorts. I liked that one.

[fourcatmom]

When they were little I didn't care, now I do. They can wear a tankini with shorts or a one piece. That's about it for now. I am actually starting to get uncomfortable with the tankini as well since they tend to be low in the front.

[Mrs Mungo]

I really don't care what anyone but God and my husband think of it. ;)

 

This is really the point, yes? For all of us?

[higginszoo]

It hasn't really come up yet ... my teen dd prefers board shorts and a rash guard ... she does wear a bikini top under the rash guard, but I have never seen it not covered. She is extremely modest.

 

As a general rule, I have a preference toward the tankinis, and that's what I dress younger dd in.

[Jenny in Florida]

I voted "with reservations," because that was as close as I could get.

 

When my daughter was younger, we did not allow bikinis. We did allow tankinis from the time she was about 12, because by that point she was having trouble finding a one-piece that fit properly on both top and bottom.

 

By the time she was 16-ish, she was so grown up that it just seemed silly to "forbid" a particular style of clothing. She still tended to prefer a one-piece, but ended up once in a situation (on a trip with her choir) when she needed to buy a swimsuit in a hurry and with access to only a single store. The bikini was the most flattering option. She bought it. Life went on.

 

I took her swimsuit shopping last week. She tried on a variety of styles and settled on a relatively modest (and adorable!) two-piece. I think she made the right choice.

[justamouse]

This is really interesting to me. I come from a super traditional society, yet no girl until 8 ever even wore a top. We all ran around in underwear on the beach. If there is no breast, what is there to cover? I am always puzzled when I see 3year olds wearing swim tops. To me, that looks a lot more like a woman and inappropriate.

 

I don't have girls and I wish I looked dissent in bikinis. I don't have a problem at all. That's all we wore growing up on the beach since that's all that was sold.

 

Because every aspect of a woman's body in America is sexualized and used to sell products, so we have an skewed view of the body.

[MercyA]

This is really the point, yes? For all of us?

 

And maybe this or that isn't modest enough for some, but nobody needs to hold to *your* standards except you because modesty is *purely* cultural and nothing else.

 

I don't ask or expect anyone outside of my family to hold to my standards (unless, of course, they're swimming at my house).

 

I don't agree that modesty is purely cultural, but then again, I also wear a head covering. ;) I can see how someone might arrive at your conclusion, however.

 

Peace and good night!

[GSOchristie]

All of our kids wear rash guards and shorts. Piper has seven bathing suits, and she will wear a rash guard over all of them. Right now it boils down to chemical exposure. We are at the pool almost every day from May to September and I want to use as little sunblock as possible. Later it will be a modesty issue, too, but we are not there, yet. She can wear a tankini if she wants but definitely nothing low cut or that shows large portions of midriff.

[goldberry]

Tankinis are so much more comfortable than one-pieces. I'm a tall girl, and I wish they had been around more when I was a teen!

A little bit of tummy (not too much) is ok with us.

 

I agree with the poster who said that most bikinis are like going out in a bra and panties. Just too much skin.

 

DD has a rather low cut tankini right now, I don't mind too much since she is still pretty flat chested. She keeps saying she dreads getting big on top because she doesn't want to have to change her bathing suit.

[gardenmom5]

like it or not, the reality is bikinis are made to display the female body to attract males. men are visual. My daughters are not pieces of meat on display.

[*Lulu*]

like it or not, the reality is bikinis are made to display the female body to attract males. men are visual. My daughters are not pieces of meat on display.

 

 

For men who truly view women in this way, there is no amount of fabric that can cover enough.

[LibraryLover]

My vote would be yes, but I didn't vote because the "why wouldn't I" part rather bugs me. :)

[Free]

like it or not, the reality is bikinis are made to display the female body to attract males. men are visual. My daughters are not pieces of meat on display.

 

Is it possible that that bikinis are constructed in a way that makes a woman feel good about how she looks? I think women should wear clothes that they feel comfortable in and that they can carry without feeling awkward. For some women this may mean more coverage and for some it may be less.

 

I think it is sad if women make clothing choices based on fear of how they might be perceived - and this can apply to both women who wear less or women who wear more.

[DaffodilDreams]

I voted other. We would allow a bikini w/in reason. As long as it's not disgustingly skimpy, bikinis aren't horrible IMO. But, at this point, it's a non-issue in our family because dd is very modest all on her own. She prefers a rash guard and swim skirt. She'll wear a tankini as a back up if the rash guard is in the wash, but she doesn't want her belly showing.

[IsabelC]

My daughters (aged 7 and 4) have not expressed any interest in bikinis at this stage, hence we haven't actually thought about it.

 

At the moment I kind of do have a 'no bikini' rule without ever having discussed it, because we require the entire torso to be covered when they are out of the house or if anyone is visiting us. (At home in private is a different matter; in fact the 4yo still swims naked in our shaded swimming pool quite often).

 

I don't think I will be telling the kids what they can and can't wear once they get into their teens, but I'm not sure about a 10yo.

It's pretty academic for us though, because they are generally going to have a rashie or T on at the beach regardless of their swimsuit style.

[nono]

 

 

I think if I lived at the shore (that's NJ for beach) it'd be different, but in a better way. :D

 

It would definitely be better! :hurray:

[Melissa in Australia]

no

But we swim in the ocean and don't use sunscreen. she wears a one piece bathing suit with swimming shorts and a rash tops over the top. all her brothers wear swimming shorts and rash tops. many many people in this area wear this kind of thing, many also wear full body wet suits. the ones that are not into swimming are the ones wearing the bikinis

[Gentlemommy]

I prefer the speedo style bathing suits, like the ones used for swim teams. However, having three little girls who need to go potty, I've switched to tank style bikinis. It makes the bathroom trips SO much easier. I also prefer them to wear the short sleeved shirts for sun protection.

[J-rap]

It was one pieces through about 7th grade, and then tankinis for a few years. At 17 or so, if they wanted to wear bikinis they could, but they were more conservative ones. They were never in a hurry to wear bikinis anyway. They were all on the swim team at one point or another, and swimming to them usually meant swimming laps and not lying in the sun. Even now, even my older girls will often choose their one-piece, or will wear their bikini with a shirt.