Being organized and running a household

[IsabelC]

Why does this seem to come so naturally to some people, whereas for others it's an everlasting struggle?

 

I'm starting on yet another attempt to Get Organized at the moment. I have probably read at least 30 books on household organizing over the last few years. I've made lists, timetables, charts, affirmations and resolutions. I've trained the children to do household chores. I've sought online support. I've tried Flylady and House of Order.

 

Yet I look around and the house is messy, I haven't done the breakfast dishes, there are about 15 loads of laundry in various stages, I can't see my desk for papers, and I'm scared to even go to the vegetable garden because it will be too depressing.

 

I remember my grandmother who left school after grade 5, only read when she had to and certainly never read a single book about organizing in her life. She never had a mess anywhere. There was never a dirty dish to be seen 15 minutes after a meal. The laundry never overflowed from their one small basket. She dusted, polished, arranged flowers, canned, jammed, did needlework, cooked meals at specified times each day, and so on and so forth, all apparently effortlessly.

 

Is the difference simply a matter of personality?

Does it depend on how well you're taught?

Or are people like me just lazy? (and possibly addicted to books and the internet)

 

I'd appreciate your thoughts.

(Off to make my kitchen decent, but I'll be back tonight.)

Edited October 18, 2012 by Hotdrink

[TammyS]

 

I remember my grandmother who left school after grade 5, only read when she had to and certainly and never read a single book about organizing in her life. She never had a mess anywhere. There was never a dirty dish to be seen 15 minutes after a meal. The laundry never overflowed from their one small basket. She dusted, polished, arranged flowers, canned, jammed, did needlework, cooked meals at specified times each day, and so on and so forth, all apparently effortlessly.

 

 

I don't know what the answer to your organizational problems are (or mine), but here are a few things about your granny that you aren't thinking of:

 

1. Except for a short time in her life when her children were tiny, she didn't have kids home during the day. They went to school. They weren't at home sucking down her time, requiring her supervision, and making a mess.

 

2. When her kids were home from school, they had certain expectations put on them (homework and chores), she wasn't their servant.

 

3.Also, when her kids were home, she WASN'T TRYING TO TEACH THEM (like you and I are).

 

4.Your granny had many, many fewer distractions than we do (TV, internet, cell stuff, email, FB, WTM, 8 zillion books).

 

5.Your granny had A LOT less stuff. A LOT. I'll wager she had less than half of the stuff we had. I bet she had 1/2 dozen outfits. And she didn't have electronics. And she didn't have schoolbooks and school projects. Which means she had A LOT less stuff to clean and organize.

 

6.Your granny's kids had EVEN LESS STUFF THAN SHE DID. They might have had 5 or so toys, maybe a few family toys (like a box of legos), a couple of board games, and a few books - and that was basically it. Which means that your granny had EVEN LESS kid crap to pick up than she had of her own stuff.

 

7.Your granny's kids had A LOT less clothes than ours do and they weren't washed as much. They had "good clothes" that got hung up after school (because they were expected to stay clean and tidy during the school day and not come home looking like slobs) and "play clothes" were put on after that. Good clothes were worn a few times before being washed and play clothes didn't get washed until they could walk on their own.

 

8.Granny's kids were REQUIRED to obey the first time and never talk back or argue. This means that granny spent a lot less time dealing with discipline issues than we do.

 

I know, it doesn't cure the problem. But I hope that you will feel a little better knowing that it really is NOT a fair comparison. You really, actually, DO have a very different and more difficult job than your granny did.

[LucyStoner]

I have thought about this a lot. I grew up with a mother who never learned to cook or clean house. She came from a highly irregular and dysfunctional background- her mother was a criminal and she spent her childhood literally on the run. My father cooked but he had grown up in a home where mom did everything domestically and despite his claims otherwise he really expected my mom to do the housework. Home was a disheveled mess. We moved a lot so there were always boxes afoot.

 

I couldn't live like that once I grew up. I struggled getting into a routine and went a little OCD for awhile. I was inclined towards clean but I really didn't know the first thing about anything domestic. In 2002, I read Home Comforts and that really helped. I also married a man who doesn't just give lip service to men helping keep house. So we keep a pretty clean house. The main thing is that cleaning comes first before leisure. Not cleaning to surgical field standards but the basics. But I agree there is no magic formula and I read a lot to useless books. I also think there is no harm in a messy (but still hygienic)home. It's not for me but I have friends who live well in clutter and a touch of chaos. No need to force yourself to be something you are not.

[Impish]

Honestly, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and brains and talents are wired differently than others.

[LaxMom]

Ya know, I often wonder about the same thing. An Amish woman I know has more kids than me, more stuff to do (like making her family's clothing), everything takes much longer for her to do it (eg, when she does laundry, she DOING the laundry, whereas I stick it in the washer and do something else), and they live on a farm, for Pete's sake. And she is the most leisurely paced woman I know.

 

I think it's because they have less "stuff". She doesn't have to organize, just do the tasks that need to be done.

 

I need less stuff. :glare:

 

Eta: Everything Tammy said applies here. I think she's spot on.

Edited October 18, 2012 by MyCrazyHouse

[MommaOfalotta]

Why does this seem to come so naturally to some people, whereas for others it's an everlasting struggle?

 

I'm starting on yet another attempt to Get Organized at the moment. I have probably read at least 30 books on household organizing over the last few years. I've made lists, timetables, charts, affirmations and resolutions. I've trained the children to do household chores. I've sought online support. I've tried Flylady and House of Order.

 

Yet I look around and the house is messy, I haven't done the breakfast dishes, there are about 15 loads of laundry in various stages, I can't see my desk for papers, and I'm scared to even go to the vegetable garden because it will be too depressing.

 

I remember my grandmother who left school after grade 5, only read when she had to and certainly never read a single book about organizing in her life. She never had a mess anywhere. There was never a dirty dish to be seen 15 minutes after a meal. The laundry never overflowed from their one small basket. She dusted, polished, arranged flowers, canned, jammed, did needlework, cooked meals at specified times each day, and so on and so forth, all apparently effortlessly.

 

Is the difference simply a matter of personality?

Does it depend on how well you're taught?

Or are people like me just lazy? (and possibly addicted to books and the internet)

 

I'd appreciate your thoughts.

(Off to make my kitchen decent, but I'll be back tonight.)

 

Were we separated at birth!?

 

My dear, I can completely relate! The entire 3rd trimester of my last pregnancy I was glued to pinterest pinning all of these how to's for an organized, clean home. I was too exhausted then to DO any of it, but I swore when ds was born this house was going to do a 360.

 

Ds is almost 11 weeks old and its worse than EVER. I feel like Im going to come out of my skin looking at these messes. I just honest to God don't have the time or energy to do the massive job that it requires.

 

Im telling myself its because we live with my mother, and so there is twice the STUFF. When we move.. ohh when we move my house will be perfectly clean and organized;) Do you see a pattern here?

 

But I swear.. Its GOING TO HAPPEN.

 

Good luck with your kitchen OP. I have a cleaning list for tomorrow. Wish me luck and pray the baby cooperates:001_smile:

[MommaOfalotta]

Ya know, I often wonder about the same thing. An Amish woman I know has more kids than me, more stuff to do (like making her family's clothing), everything takes much longer for her to do it (eg, when she does laundry, she DOING the laundry, whereas I stick it in the washer and do something else), and they live on a farm, for Pete's sake. And she is the most leisurely paced woman I know.

 

I think it's because they have less "stuff". She doesn't have to organize, just do the tasks that need to be done.

 

I need less stuff. :glare:

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Mergath]

Reading Home Comforts helped me learn to love it. Before I was just sort of resigned to it, but after reading that, I now enjoy it. (Well, most of the time.)

[2squared]

Well, I know I could have my house looking like I want it if I just did it. Instead I am sitting here typing on the internet. I am great at organizing and home management. I just don't like to do it, so I don't. I do enough to get by (which is actually a lot given the size and activity level of my brood).

[Joshin]

Like others said, it's the stuff. My husband brought a lot of stuff into our marriage. A lot to me at least, but probably a normal amount by other people's standards. Me? I had lived my adult life owning only the amount of stuff that could fit in my car. As a kid, I kept an inventory of all my possessions on a sheet of paper. I would get rid of stuff if it exceeded what I could write on a sheet of paper. DH's stuff stressed me out so much.

 

Then came kids. It wasn't bad at first, not until the inlaws began inundating my kids with stuff. Then they began inundating me with stuff. I'm anal. For example, I'm the type of person who only wants two cookie sheets because I only need two. MIL thought every wife should have at least four. Her heart was in the right place, but....

 

When we moved cross country and away from family we purged all the excess stuff and I have carefully managed how much more comes in to the house. It's so much less stressful. It's almost effortless to keep things clean and organized. My husband still has a lot of stuff, but it's crammed into his office so I don't have to see, touch or deal with it.

 

All this just to say, it's the stuff. :) Some people like stuff, I just naturally don't!

[LucyStoner]

Reading Home Comforts helped me learn to love it. Before I was just sort of resigned to it, but after reading that, I now enjoy it. (Well, most of the time.)

 

I love that book. I give copies to people for wedding shower presents. Changed my life and let me accept it was ok to cultivate the domestic side of things.

[klmama]

Like others said, it's the stuff.

 

:iagree: Anyone remember Jungle Jam? There was a song... "The more you have, the more you have to have to take care of the things you have."

[Rosie_0801]

Granny probably had her mother nearby to help out too. Most of us don't have that. I think more is expected of us. Housework and childraising are supposed to fit into the time between minutes or something.

 

I know how to be organised. But I don't always have the prerequites for caring...

 

Rosie

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

I too struggle with being a Messie as Sandra Felton calls it.

 

Too many times, I did not have time to do laundry and stopped at thrift stores to get whatever was really needed for clothes the next day.

I had a few rough pregnancies too ( 3) as well as endometriosis and fully nursing 8 babies in a row! But I feel like I lost control after our 5th child again.

Having chronic pain has not helped. I can work extremely hard for a few days in a row, then be debilitated for an entire day or two.

 

The first book I read on organization was by Emilee Barnes and her concept does stick with me while I am cleaning:

 

1. Throw Away

 

2. Give away ( Or sell)

 

3. Keep and Put away

 

The main concept was to work on an area of extreme clutter for 15 minutes per day until it is done. Bags and boxes for seperating items are necessary to do this purging. And the rule is : If I have not used it for 1 year I probably never will. This may or may not apply.

 

I also remember being emotionally attatched to toys but made myself go through and give away tons of great toys because of the constant clutter.

My ds4 was going with my dad one day to make a big donation and asked

"Papa", why are we giving all of our toys away? :001_huh:

 

I told him later that if we kept all of the toys they got for holidays and birthdays that we would get lost in a sea of toys and not be able to find each other.

 

Going to MOPS helped me to get perspective too! Motherhood is important, and moms are important.

Children have needs too, and one need is to have a place for "their" own things.

I buy collapsible little totes for baby and toddler toys and have shelves in closets, but really need to put up more shelves in bedrooms.

Lego creations are the most challenging to store for us.

 

I do remember sitting in the rocking chair with our 3rd child and just bawling because I could not get the house clean or get the laundry all done in one day.

 

I found a framed picture /poem that read :

 

Quiet down cobwebs, Dust go to sleep,

I'm Rocking My baby, and Baby's Don't keep

 

Anonymous

 

:iagree: It helped me in those hard times. I had 3 in diapers....pullups...

 

 

 

I also like the sayings: Many Hands make Light work

 

If mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

 

Two can do more than double the work

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

I don't know what the answer to your organizational problems are (or mine), but here are a few things about your granny that you aren't thinking of:

 

1. Except for a short time in her life when her children were tiny, she didn't have kids home during the day. They went to school. They weren't at home sucking down her time, requiring her supervision, and making a mess.

 

2. When her kids were home from school, they had certain expectations put on them (homework and chores), she wasn't their servant.

 

3.Also, when her kids were home, she WASN'T TRYING TO TEACH THEM (like you and I are).

 

4.Your granny had many, many fewer distractions than we do (TV, internet, cell stuff, email, FB, WTM, 8 zillion books).

 

5.Your granny had A LOT less stuff. A LOT. I'll wager she had less than half of the stuff we had. I bet she had 1/2 dozen outfits. And she didn't have electronics. And she didn't have schoolbooks and school projects. Which means she had A LOT less stuff to clean and organize.

 

6.Your granny's kids had EVEN LESS STUFF THAN SHE DID. They might have had 5 or so toys, maybe a few family toys (like a box of legos), a couple of board games, and a few books - and that was basically it. Which means that your granny had EVEN LESS kid crap to pick up than she had of her own stuff.

 

7.Your granny's kids had A LOT less clothes than ours do and they weren't washed as much. They had "good clothes" that got hung up after school (because they were expected to stay clean and tidy during the school day and not come home looking like slobs) and "play clothes" were put on after that. Good clothes were worn a few times before being washed and play clothes didn't get washed until they could walk on their own.

 

8.Granny's kids were REQUIRED to obey the first time and never talk back or argue. This means that granny spent a lot less time dealing with discipline issues than we do.

 

I know, it doesn't cure the problem. But I hope that you will feel a little better knowing that it really is NOT a fair comparison. You really, actually, DO have a very different and more difficult job than your granny did.

My dear grandmother said: It is harder to raise even 1 child in today's world. She raised 13!!

[Alte Veste Academy]

Habits! Habits are hard to break.

 

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard

[LucyStoner]

While I agree in some ways that things are harder now than in our grandparents generation, we can't forget that we have it easier in many ways. Washing machines, better vacuums, things like ironing, sewing and preserving are optional these days. Many of the things that make it harder today are choices- larger homes, increased leisure activities and more material possessions. Our modern domestic divas are more centered on consumerism and buying things than on producing things.

 

I think the habit point is a fair one, as is that we are no longer really set up to value housework. when the norm is one thing, it is hard to hike a different path. My paternal grandmother was not a very domestically inclined woman but she raised 9 kids and ran a house well. It was the norm for her community and it was expected. Easy to have a routine/habit down when it is like that.

 

I would start by reducing the amount of stuff in the house.

 

And I would figure out what is important to you to keep organized and clean and stick with that at first. No need to too much at once.

[BlsdMama]

Less stuff.

 

But, for me, it was also realizing that I, unintentionally, filled my time up with "planning" being organized rather than BEING organized.

 

Your grandmother had 24 hours in a day. Had she spent all that time reading books on how to organize, she wouldn't have just dug in and figured out what needed to go, to stay, and what worked.

 

FlyLady is built on the same premise. It tells you to commit 15 minutes to DOING rather than a larger time frame? Why? Because you'll be overwhelmed and want to "make a plan" which you will NOT EXECUTE.

 

I don't need a schedule.

I need a list. A short one. And it needs to be made daily in less than ten minutes and then I need to go DO it.

 

I don't need a schedule. I just need to get off the computer.

I don't need the best curriculum or new curriculum. I just need to UTILIZE what I thought was so awesome at the beginning of the year. Apparently I thought what? It was going to teach itself too?

 

I don't need a new cleaning technique.

I just need to actually go clean. The old way of "Put it away and wipe it up with a rag" works just fine.

 

I don't need cool new cleaners or another gadget to make cleaning "easier." I just need to stop looking at ads and reviews and go clean.

 

I don't need to read a book on time management. If I spend two hours a day reading a book and three hours online and another running various errands, I've lost six hours of time. No book can help me make that up.

 

What helps?

 

1. Get up.

2. Get dressed.

3. Get off the computer.

4. Do things. Don't just plan them.

5. Stay home several days a week. Deal with it.

6. Every time you're tempted to "plan" a new schedule or routine remind yourself the old one didn't work because it was bad. You never really committed to DOING it. (That also works for curriculum.)

 

BTW, it takes years of learning this, regressing, and re-learning it to write this post.

[BlsdMama]

My paternal grandmother was not a very domestically inclined woman but she raised 9 kids and ran a house well. It was the norm for her community and it was expected. Easy to have a routine/habit down when it is like that.

 

 

Well, also remember what appears perfect in stories told fifty years later are often softened by fond memories as well. My grandmothers each had eleven. There are stories that are sweet now... Like great grandma coming over to help iron sheets every week and clean up. Grandma once told me it was because she read too much so her mother had to come help her catch-up on the weekends, lol. Had she not told me that herself, I wonder if I would have believed it. Frankly, having nine children myself, NO ONE HUMAN can keep a house immaculate and all things well all the time. Ever. Wait. Unless maybe they are spaced over forty years. I could see how that *might* work. ;) :D

 

Truth?

 

They had far less distractions.

No internet, no email, no phone calls. Their kids were in school and they stayed home. Even when their kids weren't in school, they didn't run to piano, dance, karate, the library twice a week, etc., etc., etc.

 

Their JOB, the whole job, was to run the home.

 

When I commit to BEING HOME, my home runs much more smoothly. School gets done.

 

I had a co-op I adored. I love those families. However, being out of my house one day and planning for another, took a lot of commitment.

 

Have you ever heard of de-schooling? How a child with a hectic schedule needs some down time before they are ready to be enthusiastic about learning again? Creative? Spontaneous? Pour energy into learning and making and doing again?

 

I found that I experienced something very similar. This summer I was just a vegetable. I found this fall I was coming back to my old self - sewing and knitting projects. I was up to working with Ana on her curriculum and doing some harder things with my littles that I couldn't commit to in the previous two years.

 

You only have so much energy, so much creativity, so much time, and so much enthusiasm. It's like a piggy bank. Once it's spent, it's spent. If you spend it outside the home, you don't have it to spend inside the home.

[PhotoGal]

I blame the internet! Seriously. :D

 

Also, though I enjoy a neat and clean house, I have to admit that it is not my top priority. Obviously homeschool comes first. Also, the kids' activities outrank the the house. That pretty much accounts for our weekdays. I do clean some on the weekends, but if there is a birthday party or a sports event or something similar, that is going to outrank dusting as well. :001_smile:

 

My MIL's house is really clean without a speck of dust anywhere. I was wondering last time we were there how she did it. Then I realized that she doesn't have kids, doesn't have pets, doesn't have a job... She has plenty of time and energy (physical and mental) to keep up with things. And I'm guessing things were not that way when her kids were young. That is okay. Maybe we are in the season of a bit messy and later we will have our season of clean. :D

[Pawz4me]

Too much stuff can certainly be a problem.

 

And IMO many people engage in all or nothing thinking and then give up. "There's no way I can get the whole house cleaned today, so I'm not even going to try." Here's a newsflash . . . you don't have to get the whole house cleaned at one time. Most of us couldn't do that. We just don't have large chunks of time (or enough energy!) to clean for hours and hours once a week. I have one day for dusting the house, one day for cleaning bathrooms, etc. FWIW, I was doing my housekeeping that way long, long before anybody heard of Fly Lady. Of course some things do have to be done every single day (keeping the kitchen tidy, etc.). But breaking everything else down into smaller daily tasks so all the basics get covered once a week really helps.

 

But now having said that I'll also say that I think some of it comes down to basic talent (for lack of a better word). Not all of us are born with the talent to paint or play a musical instrument, and not all of us are born with a talent for organization/housekeeping. That doesn't mean you can't learn it, just that it doesn't come as naturally and easily as it does to some. What motivates me to keep it done is that I'm always in a much better mental and emotional space when my house is mostly clean and tidy. Realizing how much extra peace it gives me keeps me motivated.

[linders]

I appreciate what everyone has said - the "too much stuff" to take care of especially resonates.

 

Add on to the "What Granny Did or Didn't do" list -

 

Granny did not spend hours a day chaffeuring DC to piano lessons, soccer games, swim practice, and scouts. Heck, my mom didn't do that! Amd if we were inside we better be doing chores or homework, not making some new mess. Otherwise, get out of the house and don't bother her.

[Night Elf]

Is the difference simply a matter of personality?

Does it depend on how well you're taught?

Or are people like me just lazy? (and possibly addicted to books and the internet)

 

Oh I hate to admit this, I really do, but I must say that for me, it's laziness. I'm about 99% sure of that. I too have read lots of books and tried putting plans into place, but they never last. I did Flylady for 6 weeks and it was the best my house ever looked. But I got bored with it and stopped. That was years ago!

 

My mom worked full time after separating from my dad when I was a young girl. She still managed to keep an extremely neat, organized home. Although, we were very low middle class and didn't have much. Still the woman worked crazy hours and managed. My grandmothers both worked full time, in department stores, and still managed to keep neat, organized homes. They both cooked breakfast and dinner every weekday. When I think about what those ladies did, I'm in awe.

 

Now me? Not doing so well. For one, DH does all of the cooking. I hate it and am just not good at it. We both do chores but we're very lackadaisical in our methods. I know I could be doing so much more. My house isn't big so it doesn't take me long to clean it, but I still procrastinate on things like sweeping and dusting. We can keep things mostly neat because the kids don't play with toys anymore so they aren't spilled over everywhere. But our horizontal surfaces, like the dining table and kitchen counters, overflow with the stuff like mail. Every now and then, I get a bee in my bonnet and try to organize, but it's just overwhelming and I give up early.

 

There, I said it. Lazy. I think I'll call my mom today and thank her for everything she did for me while I was growing up.

[kathkath]

There was a great thread awhile back about what organized people don't do.

[marbel]

Reading Home Comforts helped me learn to love it. Before I was just sort of resigned to it, but after reading that, I now enjoy it. (Well, most of the time.)

 

You are not the first person I've heard this from. I have this book, but I've never really sat down and read it, just looked for specific things in it from time to time. I really should try paying for attention to it.

 

In my case, I was never taught how to do those things. Since I was in school, I never saw a lot of the chores being done. I remember quite a leisurely childhood with little work. So some things were completely invisible to me when I had my own home to take care of. (Filters on the stove hood? What?! You clean them??)

 

Add to that homeschooling, the lure of the internet, books and magazines... Yes, and way more stuff than my mother ever had to deal with.

 

So, not disposed toward cleaning and organization, not trained in cleaning organization, and easily distracted... yeah.

[IsabelC]

I agree that Stuff could be a problem, but I don't think it is for me. We have WAY less stuff than anyone else we know. Strangely, I am a ruthlessly efficient declutterer; it's just the good habits that I find hard. Those little things like washing up after each meal (I dream of buying a dishwasher one day, but I guess since you still have to stack the things in it, this also requires a good habit), bringing everything in from the car every day so it doesn't get full of junk, and actually reading the menu plan in advance so we can defrost the meat.

 

I think more is expected of us. Housework and childraising are supposed to fit into the time between minutes or something.

That's it! I need some kind of Star Trek-esque rift in the space time continuum. Or that gadget Hermione had to do two classes at once. Problem solved.

 

 

But, for me, it was also realizing that I, unintentionally, filled my time up with "planning" being organized rather than BEING organized.

 

Your grandmother had 24 hours in a day. Had she spent all that time reading books on how to organize, she wouldn't have just dug in and figured out what needed to go, to stay, and what worked.

 

FlyLady is built on the same premise. It tells you to commit 15 minutes to DOING rather than a larger time frame? Why? Because you'll be overwhelmed and want to "make a plan" which you will NOT EXECUTE.

 

I don't need a schedule.

I need a list. A short one. And it needs to be made daily in less than ten minutes and then I need to go DO it.

 

I don't need a schedule. I just need to get off the computer.

I don't need the best curriculum or new curriculum. I just need to UTILIZE what I thought was so awesome at the beginning of the year. Apparently I thought what? It was going to teach itself too?

 

I don't need a new cleaning technique.

I just need to actually go clean. The old way of "Put it away and wipe it up with a rag" works just fine.

 

I don't need cool new cleaners or another gadget to make cleaning "easier." I just need to stop looking at ads and reviews and go clean.

 

I don't need to read a book on time management. If I spend two hours a day reading a book and three hours online and another running various errands, I've lost six hours of time. No book can help me make that up.

 

What helps?

 

1. Get up.

2. Get dressed.

3. Get off the computer.

4. Do things. Don't just plan them.

5. Stay home several days a week. Deal with it.

6. Every time you're tempted to "plan" a new schedule or routine remind yourself the old one didn't work because it was bad. You never really committed to DOING it. (That also works for curriculum.)

 

BTW, it takes years of learning this, regressing, and re-learning it to write this post.

Ah, this rings very true. I absolutely suffer from 'ananlysis paralysis'. Now I just need you to live with me and shout the above every morning.:D

[clarkacademy]

Not too sound mean but granny or ecleast my granny and my mom got up and did what they had to do. It didn't matter if they just had a baby they got up and did what they had to do. If they were sick, if they were depressed etc. they got up and did what had to be done. I remember just a few months ago being told how wrong I was because I was back at work the day I left the hospital after having kids. I had too. I mean there was bills to pay and another mouth to feed.

 

I seen my grandma get home from chemo and do the dishes. I seen my mom go to work after being taped up from a car wreck. They just did it. There was no thinking, no time for tears. No time for wishing it was different they just did what they had to do. I have no clue what kind of grannies and moms you guys had but as far as stuff goes mine had ALOT. I mean alot.

 

I will say though we played outside alot more than kids today because we could run the streets and we were in school all day. I think those are the two biggest things right there. Kids can't play like they used too. My mom didn't need time for lesson plans either or teaching us to read.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

I love organization and a clean home.:) I would suggest starting out by getting closets and drawers organized. Take 1 space each day and get it done. Maybe start out with a kids closet. Make 3 stacks, 1 for keep, 1 for trash, and 1 for donate. The next time you leave the house, take the items you're going to donate with you and drop them off ASAP. If you do a big job one day, like a closet, then just do a drawer the next day. I personally think once you get the closets and drawers nice and organized, it's easier to want to do the housecleaning. :)

[Carrie12345]

I am lazy.

I need less "stuff".

I prioritize other things higher.

 

I'm working on the first two, but the third will always be true. I'd rather focus on my kids' education than carpet stains. I'd rather watch a family movie than worry about a few dishes. I'd rather read a book than mop the floor. No one will ever convince me that I should change those priorities. ;)

[marbel]

So, I agree that generally having less stuff is helpful. But sometimes even with less stuff there is not a place to put it.

 

I have a small kitchen and little storage elsewhere in the house. I don't have lots of kitchen gadgets but I am constantly struggling with finding places to put stuff. You know that puzzle game, Rush Hour? That's my kitchen.

 

I use my KitchenAid mixer once or twice per week. I use the food processor nearly as often. I use the bread pans, 13x9 pan, round baking pans, etc frequently. I don't have a lot of kitchen gadgets or any limited-use small appliances. But I still don't have places for them all, even thinking outside the kitchen box. The food processor lives in the laundry room. Other things live under my bed.

 

So it's not always just a matter of decluttering and getting rid of excess stuff. Sometimes it's not excess, it's a lack of space. (Of course I've been criticized for saying my house is too small, but maybe the problem is less a matter of space as much as it is a matter of storage, though I would be hard-put to find room for any storage cabinets in any of the rooms.)

 

Does anyone else have that problem? Or will you all tell me I'm in denial and I just need to get rid of stuff? ;)

[justamouse]

I don't think it's the stuff. I have stuff, and I love it. I want more stuff, and my house is not cluttered or disorganized.

 

I think we've lost the habit of cleaning up after we are done doing something (and this is why our kids are also disorganized-we can't teach what we don't have).

 

If everything has a place, then keeping things organized is a matter of putting it back when you're done. THis is why teaching children good habits is SO important, they will carry them for the rest of thief lives.

 

We also don't do what we should do. Because of this, we don't REST when we should, and we have no rest and the cycle starts up again.

[jamajo]

I love threads that make me get up and do something. Half way through reading this thread I got up and swept the room I am in (family w/hardwood floors) then vacuumed the rug. Then I went back to reading the rest of the thread:lol: I feel better.

 

We make our kids do a lot. I did it all when they were small and my husband who came from a family of 6 kids (who did all the cleaning) said you have to teach the kids to do it! I had no patience for that so he did it. Girls are 15, 13, 12 now. They've been doing their own laundry since they were 10. They each have 2 days per week that they are responsible for cleaning the kitchen. Now I have 3 more kids (fostering) ages 6, 4, 20 mos. We are teaching them (6 & 4 yr old) how to clean the bathroom that they often dirty up. Guess who is teaching them? My three girls! They supervise the cleaning as well. I think they are just glad they don't have to do it now. They have been promoted to supervisors. :tongue_smilie:

They have a bathroom schedule I found on someone's blog that they follow to make sure it is done correctly.

 

This way I have plenty of time to PLAN and be on the Internet. ;)

Edited October 18, 2012 by jamajo

[jamajo]

*warning* hijack -

justamouse what is stink cheese? I was looking at your squash casserole on your blog looks good. Do you have a recipe please PM.

 

Thanks...

 

back to the original topic

[justamouse]

So, I agree that generally having less stuff is helpful. But sometimes even with less stuff there is not a place to put it.

 

I have a small kitchen and little storage elsewhere in the house. I don't have lots of kitchen gadgets but I am constantly struggling with finding places to put stuff. You know that puzzle game, Rush Hour? That's my kitchen.

 

I use my KitchenAid mixer once or twice per week. I use the food processor nearly as often. I use the bread pans, 13x9 pan, round baking pans, etc frequently. I don't have a lot of kitchen gadgets or any limited-use small appliances. But I still don't have places for them all, even thinking outside the kitchen box. The food processor lives in the laundry room. Other things live under my bed.

 

So it's not always just a matter of decluttering and getting rid of excess stuff. Sometimes it's not excess, it's a lack of space. (Of course I've been criticized for saying my house is too small, but maybe the problem is less a matter of space as much as it is a matter of storage, though I would be hard-put to find room for any storage cabinets in any of the rooms.)

 

Does anyone else have that problem? Or will you all tell me I'm in denial and I just need to get rid of stuff? ;)

 

No I will say after cramming 9 people in a 1100 square foot house that it was too small. Period. No amount of decluttering/minimizing helped. There was no room for us, even after I packed away all my sewing, crafting, I had no stuff, I ruthlessly decluttered.

 

The house got SO dirty, SO fast, even though I vacuumed and kept up with everything every day.

 

Now that I Have a bigger house, and--it's not that it's necessarily bigger, but it's *old* and these old timers knew how people lived and planned for these things. They built places to put stuff. The front door doesn't open up into a livingroom so that people track stuff from there to the other end of the house. Little things like that matter in how you are able to live in/take care of your family.

[justamouse]

*warning* hijack -

justamouse what is stink cheese? I was looking at your squash casserole on your blog looks good. Do you have a recipe please PM.

 

Thanks...

 

back to the original topic

 

:lol:

 

Locatelli, parm, romano...stinks like feet cheese. :D I'll pm you. :D

[TammyS]

So, I agree that generally having less stuff is helpful. But sometimes even with less stuff there is not a place to put it.

 

I have a small kitchen and little storage elsewhere in the house. I don't have lots of kitchen gadgets but I am constantly struggling with finding places to put stuff. You know that puzzle game, Rush Hour? That's my kitchen.

 

I use my KitchenAid mixer once or twice per week. I use the food processor nearly as often. I use the bread pans, 13x9 pan, round baking pans, etc frequently. I don't have a lot of kitchen gadgets or any limited-use small appliances. But I still don't have places for them all, even thinking outside the kitchen box. The food processor lives in the laundry room. Other things live under my bed.

 

So it's not always just a matter of decluttering and getting rid of excess stuff. Sometimes it's not excess, it's a lack of space. (Of course I've been criticized for saying my house is too small, but maybe the problem is less a matter of space as much as it is a matter of storage, though I would be hard-put to find room for any storage cabinets in any of the rooms.)

 

Does anyone else have that problem? Or will you all tell me I'm in denial and I just need to get rid of stuff? ;)

 

I think it just is what it is. I understand living in a small space. We are in under 800 sq ft. We are PACKED. And I purge ruthlessly (I have been literally known to take clothes off of kids bodie's and put them in the giveaway if I see them wearing something outgrown.

 

On the other hand, my MIL raised more kids in this very home and kept it immaculate. They just didn't have as much stuff. I have four bookcases in the living room. My husband can't remember there being books. We have two TVs, they had none. We have a stand freezer, they didn't. We have a dog. They had no pets. It IS different.

[Remudamom]

I haven't read everything, but one of the main things that helps you be organized is to keep at it, and to work hard at it. The organization books and sites don't help by magic. 8)

[Carrie12345]

So, I agree that generally having less stuff is helpful. But sometimes even with less stuff there is not a place to put it.

 

I have a small kitchen and little storage elsewhere in the house. I don't have lots of kitchen gadgets but I am constantly struggling with finding places to put stuff. You know that puzzle game, Rush Hour? That's my kitchen.

 

I use my KitchenAid mixer once or twice per week. I use the food processor nearly as often. I use the bread pans, 13x9 pan, round baking pans, etc frequently. I don't have a lot of kitchen gadgets or any limited-use small appliances. But I still don't have places for them all, even thinking outside the kitchen box. The food processor lives in the laundry room. Other things live under my bed.

 

So it's not always just a matter of decluttering and getting rid of excess stuff. Sometimes it's not excess, it's a lack of space. (Of course I've been criticized for saying my house is too small, but maybe the problem is less a matter of space as much as it is a matter of storage, though I would be hard-put to find room for any storage cabinets in any of the rooms.)

 

Does anyone else have that problem? Or will you all tell me I'm in denial and I just need to get rid of stuff? ;)

 

Well, I think lack of space is definitely a contributing factor. I mean, my 1100sf lacks adequate closet space, has little wall space, and few cabinets, which makes organizing tough. But the more I get rid of, the easier it *is* getting. (Easier being relative, of course.)

[Murphy101]

I think people just don't really care about it thus don't make it a priority, but feel guilty or I don't know what about it, so they go through phases where they try to convince themselves they want to change that. But it almost always fizzles out because it isn't really that important to them.

 

You stated yourself. You are on the net and the dishes aren't done. Get off the net and go do the dishes, problem solved.

 

There isn't anything all that ground breaking about being organized or getting things done.

 

Truth is, people change what makes them truly unhappy. So either you aren't really that unhappy with the results of your daily life or it isn't within your control.

 

I've spent most of my adult life having people ask me how I get things done with so many kids. It boils down to just getting it done.

 

Yes, reduce the clutter and junk, make good use of time and materials, keep in mind your schedule for the day/week.

 

But mostly, I just spend my days over compensating for a strong inclination to be oblivious and absent minded.:tongue_smilie:

[fairfarmhand]

I don't know what the answer to your organizational problems are (or mine), but here are a few things about your granny that you aren't thinking of:

 

1. Except for a short time in her life when her children were tiny, she didn't have kids home during the day. They went to school. They weren't at home sucking down her time, requiring her supervision, and making a mess.

 

2. When her kids were home from school, they had certain expectations put on them (homework and chores), she wasn't their servant.

 

3.Also, when her kids were home, she WASN'T TRYING TO TEACH THEM (like you and I are).

 

4.Your granny had many, many fewer distractions than we do (TV, internet, cell stuff, email, FB, WTM, 8 zillion books).

 

5.Your granny had A LOT less stuff. A LOT. I'll wager she had less than half of the stuff we had. I bet she had 1/2 dozen outfits. And she didn't have electronics. And she didn't have schoolbooks and school projects. Which means she had A LOT less stuff to clean and organize.

 

6.Your granny's kids had EVEN LESS STUFF THAN SHE DID. They might have had 5 or so toys, maybe a few family toys (like a box of legos), a couple of board games, and a few books - and that was basically it. Which means that your granny had EVEN LESS kid crap to pick up than she had of her own stuff.

 

7.Your granny's kids had A LOT less clothes than ours do and they weren't washed as much. They had "good clothes" that got hung up after school (because they were expected to stay clean and tidy during the school day and not come home looking like slobs) and "play clothes" were put on after that. Good clothes were worn a few times before being washed and play clothes didn't get washed until they could walk on their own.

 

8.Granny's kids were REQUIRED to obey the first time and never talk back or argue. This means that granny spent a lot less time dealing with discipline issues than we do.

 

I know, it doesn't cure the problem. But I hope that you will feel a little better knowing that it really is NOT a fair comparison. You really, actually, DO have a very different and more difficult job than your granny did.

this is it!

 

But I do think that you may find more housekeeping success if you determine "I will not do x until y is completed" x being whatever your time sinks happen to be. When I feel my house getting out of control, I will ban myself from pleasurable reading and fun internet for a few days (except for predetermined times of day and lengths of time), just so I don't accidentally waste time.

 

If it is really important to you, you may want to send all the kids to Grandma's for a week, pare down your possessions and focus on regaining control of your home.

 

But don't do it because you are comparing yourself to Martha Stewart or anyone else. Do it because it is important to you. Any other reason will not hold up over time.

[mlktwins]

But, for me, it was also realizing that I, unintentionally, filled my time up with "planning" being organized rather than BEING organized.

 

What helps?

 

1. Get up.

2. Get dressed.

3. Get off the computer.

4. Do things. Don't just plan them.

5. Stay home several days a week. Deal with it.

6. Every time you're tempted to "plan" a new schedule or routine remind yourself the old one didn't work because it was bad. You never really committed to DOING it. (That also works for curriculum.)

 

 

Thanks for this!

 

This is me to a tee -- great at planning, but not so good at carrying out my plan. I am getting off the computer now to go through some packing boxes that are calling my name:tongue_smilie:!

[regentrude]

So, I agree that generally having less stuff is helpful. But sometimes even with less stuff there is not a place to put it.

I have a small kitchen and little storage elsewhere in the house. I don't have lots of kitchen gadgets but I am constantly struggling with finding places to put stuff. You know that puzzle game, Rush Hour? That's my kitchen.

I use my KitchenAid mixer once or twice per week. I use the food processor nearly as often. I use the bread pans, 13x9 pan, round baking pans, etc frequently. I don't have a lot of kitchen gadgets or any limited-use small appliances. But I still don't have places for them all, even thinking outside the kitchen box. The food processor lives in the laundry room. Other things live under my bed.

 

So it's not always just a matter of decluttering and getting rid of excess stuff. Sometimes it's not excess, it's a lack of space. (Of course I've been criticized for saying my house is too small, but maybe the problem is less a matter of space as much as it is a matter of storage, though I would be hard-put to find room for any storage cabinets in any of the rooms.)

 

Does anyone else have that problem? Or will you all tell me I'm in denial and I just need to get rid of stuff? ;)

 

How small IS your house?

Having lived in a country where 1,000 sq ft is considered large for a family of four (we had a 750 sq ft apartment), it is both a matter of too much stuff and of bad storage organization. If you do not have a place to put your items, there are two things you can do: have fewer things, or optimize your storage space by coming up with better solutions.

 

How is your cabinet space organized? Do you have more dishes than you need, taking up space? Are the cabinets organized inside so that you can utilize all the space - no hard to reach corners? No high shelve spaces where the stuff stored fills only half the space? (insert another shelf, or store taller items there). Can you increase cabinet height? Storage on top of cabinets? Is the drawer under the stove utilized to its fullest? Are you using nesting containers? Store pantry items efficiently?

In my German apartment, the kitchen was truly tiny - two people could hardly stand in there together. you just learned to use space much more efficiently.

You might want to have a person visit your home who is from a country with very little space (Japan?) and see if they can spot ways for you to improve your space utilization.

[regentrude]

I think it is a matter of priorities. If I have time to spend on these boards, I have time to clean - I just may not want to.

Less stuff helps, certainly. Less time online helps even more.

But what I found the most important thing is: everything has to have a place, and has to be put there immediately. No piles of "put away later". No piles of "find place to put somewhere". Once there is no clutter, cleaning and being organized is easy.

That includes paper. Stuff either belongs in a specific location (binder, folder, filing box) or it goes into the recycling.

Also, I found it good to make use of small chunks of time. No, there won't be the six uninterrupted hours for the mother of all cleaning projects. But I only need five minutes to start a load of laundry, and ten minutes to hang the laundry on the clothesline (or two to throw them into the dryer). There is absolutely no excuse for not finding these minutes.

I find that the less time I have, the more efficiently I use it. I get more done in one morning before going to work than I get done in a whole day off.

[mommymilkies]

I was doing just fine until kid #5! I had a back injury shortly after having her and I'm on meds that make me soooooo tired. It's not a matter of getting off the net and doing dishes. I am usually on the net only when I'm multitasking (holding a sleeping cranky toddler, waiting for my kids to finish math, etc.). I am having the hardest time getting stuff good enough around here for me. But when you have 6 people walking behind you making it worse than before, it's disheartening.

[Murphy101]

I think it is a matter of priorities. If I have time to spend on these boards, I have time to clean - I just may not want to.

Less stuff helps, certainly. Less time online helps even more.

But what I found the most important thing is: everything has to have a place, and has to be put there immediately. No piles of "put away later". No piles of "find place to put somewhere". Once there is no clutter, cleaning and being organized is easy.

That includes paper. Stuff either belongs in a specific location (binder, folder, filing box) or it goes into the recycling.

Also, I found it good to make use of small chunks of time. No, there won't be the six uninterrupted hours for the mother of all cleaning projects. But I only need five minutes to start a load of laundry, and ten minutes to hang the laundry on the clothesline (or two to throw them into the dryer). There is absolutely no excuse for not finding these minutes.

I find that the less time I have, the more efficiently I use it. I get more done in one morning before going to work than I get done in a whole day off.

 

:iagree: I used to be 10 people in 1000sq ft, now we are 12 in 2800sq ft. The problem absolutely IS too much stuff for most people.

 

And I never do nothing. Especially since I got my iPhone a few years ago. 90% of the time, if I'm online, it's bc I'm waiting somewhere in the car, for a pot to boil..whatever. While kids are loading up in the van, I start a laundry wash. While nursing, I grade math. While driving, we listen to audios or talk current events listening to NPR. While waiting at the dental office, I make phone calls.

 

ETA: and my days are longer. it's just simple math that there are only so many hours in a day. "sleeping in" here is not waking up until 7:30 or 8:00. Though the kids go to bed between 7:39 and 8:30, teens are up until 10 or 11, dh and I rarely turn in before 11:30 or midnight. I have had a little one I nurse throughout the night for year's now and even when he sleeps, it's normal for me to be awake until 1 or 2 am or get up at that time and be up for a hours before going back to sleep for a bit before the kids get up.

Edited October 18, 2012 by Martha

[walkermamaof4]

I do think taking B vitamins and a multi-vitamin helps you feel better and have more energy. And so does eating well. These factors affect motivation to clean for a lot of folks I think.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I'm just chiming in here to say my usual "You are not alone!" I struggle with this too. I'm slowly but surely improving, but I just know that by the time I really figure it all out and make lasting habits, the kids will be gone from the house and will only have memories of how filthy our house was :glare:

 

So, I agree that generally having less stuff is helpful. But sometimes even with less stuff there is not a place to put it.

 

I have a small kitchen and little storage elsewhere in the house. I don't have lots of kitchen gadgets but I am constantly struggling with finding places to put stuff. You know that puzzle game, Rush Hour? That's my kitchen.

 

I use my KitchenAid mixer once or twice per week. I use the food processor nearly as often. I use the bread pans, 13x9 pan, round baking pans, etc frequently. I don't have a lot of kitchen gadgets or any limited-use small appliances. But I still don't have places for them all, even thinking outside the kitchen box. The food processor lives in the laundry room. Other things live under my bed.

 

So it's not always just a matter of decluttering and getting rid of excess stuff. Sometimes it's not excess, it's a lack of space. (Of course I've been criticized for saying my house is too small, but maybe the problem is less a matter of space as much as it is a matter of storage, though I would be hard-put to find room for any storage cabinets in any of the rooms.)

 

Does anyone else have that problem? Or will you all tell me I'm in denial and I just need to get rid of stuff? ;)

 

Marbel, you sound so much like me. Our house is from the 60s, and it is just the WORST design! The closets are miniscule, there's no built-in shelving or storage (and we don't have money to buy anymore shelving than we have), there's are almost no outlets, which makes it hard to spread things out, etc. Our kitchen has a single wall of tiny cabinets, and approximately two square feet of counter space. There are two free walls in the kitchen. Why are there no cabinets there??? I can't afford to buy storage for this kitchen! We finally bought a kitchen island that has two small cabinets underneath--that helped a little.

 

We also don't do what we should do. Because of this, we don't REST when we should, and we have no rest and the cycle starts up again.

 

This is so true. I always feel tremendous guilt that I should be working when I'm resting or multi-tasking, which makes it totally non-restful, and then when I'm working/running, I just wish I could be resting.

 

Now that I Have a bigger house, and--it's not that it's necessarily bigger, but it's *old* and these old timers knew how people lived and planned for these things. They built places to put stuff. The front door doesn't open up into a livingroom so that people track stuff from there to the other end of the house. Little things like that matter in how you are able to live in/take care of your family.

 

So jealous. I hate this house. But with the way taxes are in this state and the way real estate has gone, we'll never be able to move unless we go to another, much cheaper state!

[justamouse]

So jealous. I hate this house. But with the way taxes are in this state and the way real estate has gone, we'll never be able to move unless we go to another, much cheaper state!

 

:grouphug: I so understand.

 

I honestly didn't get the point of excellent architecture until I lived in a house that was well planned. I though cathedral ceilings and open flow was awesome. And then I found it was the bane of my existence as far as how we lived in the house and taking care of things.

 

In my old house, you opened up the door and saw everything on the first floor, in all its disastrous glory. With the second floor and stairway landing at cathedral ceiling, you looked down to the disaster. You could not hide. If one thing was out of place, you could have a clothes basket on the kitchen floor, and you saw it from every room and it looked messy ALL the time.

Edited October 18, 2012 by justamouse

[MissKNG]

For some reason, I am a very good at running my household efficiently and keeping it clean. Some things I chalk it up to are: being in constant motion and multi-tasking - if I'm headed to the kitchen from the living room, I pick stuff up along the way, for example. Being in constant motion also eliminates my need to do formal exercise, which takes up time. My daily activity is exercise enough (plus I'm the one who parks across the parking lot at Walmart - yes, with kids in tow, or will park far away and walk to the Post Office). My days are long, my girls get up around 6am every day and I go to bed around 11:00pm every day (9pm and on, I don't do any household work) so I have a lot of time to get stuff done. I'm a volume producer, somehow I get a lot done in a sort amount of time.

 

I also rotate around cleaning the other rooms I don't clean daily.

 

But I think mainly it's just moving, moving, moving. Yes, I'm exhausted but it's a good kind of tired because everything is neat and tidy and ready to go!

[Lady Florida.]

I wish I knew the answer, but I struggle with it too. I grew up in a messy house. Clean but cluttered. Always. I used to wonder if it's because I never learned, but I've taught myself other things, why not teach myself how to be organized? It's a very difficult thing to learn IMO. There must be something internal. Or maybe I'm just making excuses for myself.

 

My mother used to think she had ADD, and I wonder sometimes if I have it too. At the very least, I think I have an executive function deficit.

 

I'm not a young woman. This isn't due to lack of experience or trying. It's something I've always struggled with and still struggle with now in my fifties.