The lies we tell about homeschooling...

[Aspasia]

I stumbled onto this thread today: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/showthread.php?t=261674. It's about homeschooling dreams versus reality.

 

I loved it so much for everyone's honesty, but it also made me wonder why we continue to perpetuate some of these ideals of homeschooling when we're talking to non-homeschoolers. I mean, when I was making the decision to homeschool, I was definitely swayed by certain arguments. And heck, I've already spent a few years preaching all these benefits to the doubters in my own life!

 

Ex:

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place

 

According to the thread I linked, a lot of people's days are much longer due to dragging feet; kids are squabbling much of the time; hands-on learning in quantities greater than public schools doesn't happen due to time, organization, motivation, or kids' learning preferences; field trips aren't as frequent due to busyness, being behind on core work, and what have you.

 

Some of the big differences between expectations and reality seemed pretty consistent across families. (Or maybe only the disappointed responded to the thread?) So why do we keep "selling" homeschool with false advertising? Seems like a lot of us (I'm certain my time is coming) end up disappointed when Reality shows up.

 

(Please be gentle with me. I'm pretty new to the homeschool scene and I'm just making an observation. ;) )

[TranquilMind]

I stumbled onto this thread today: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/showthread.php?t=261674. It's about homeschooling dreams versus reality.

 

I loved it so much for everyone's honesty, but it also made me wonder why we continue to perpetuate some of these ideals of homeschooling when we're talking to non-homeschoolers. I mean, when I was making the decision to homeschool, I was definitely swayed by certain arguments. And heck, I've already spent a few years preaching all these benefits to the doubters in my own life!

 

Ex:

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place

 

According to the thread I linked, a lot of people's days are much longer due to dragging feet; kids are squabbling much of the time; hands-on learning in quantities greater than public schools doesn't happen due to time, organization, motivation, or kids' learning preferences; field trips aren't as frequent due to busyness, being behind on core work, and what have you.

 

Some of the big differences between expectations and reality seemed pretty consistent across families. (Or maybe only the disappointed responded to the thread?) So why do we keep "selling" homeschool with false advertising? Seems like a lot of us (I'm certain my time is coming) end up disappointed when Reality shows up.

 

(Please be gentle with me. I'm pretty new to the homeschool scene and I'm just making an observation. ;) )

Well, everyone has those awful days and we do rant about those, but not every day is awful. I remember some really fun days when my kids were little.

[Plucky]

I'm not disappointed. Yes, some days are not ideal. Yes, some days shipping the kids off to school sounds like a great idea and if I put myself first without regard to my kids (mine - not judging anyone who chooses differently). I don't homeschool for myself. I homeschool for my kids. My kids are closer to each other than I was with my sister and they squabble much, much less. I am very, very close to my kids. My kids have better educations.

 

It is a sacrifice for me, but so is good parenting. I was up til 4 with one, had to get my two dawdlers out the door early this morning for camp and now have to get another out the door shortly. I am exhausted, but I will have plenty of time to do other things when they are gone or grown. :)

 

Adding: I did send oldest two out into programs or private school at grades 9 & 10. I have no idea what we'll do for the last 2.

[Myeightkiddies]

 

Ex:

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place

 

 

- My days are short - most of the time. There are times when they go beyond 3 hours. It may be because we went down a rabbit trail. Perhaps a child isn't feeling well so we went slower. A new concept was introduced. To be honest, it could be because I wasn't prepared that day.

 

- My children - adult and younger children - have an excellent relationship.

 

- There seems to be plenty of hands-on learning.

 

- Field trips are still bountiful. Things have changed a bit. Often one of my adult children will lead a field trip. While I can do some myself, I cannot do as many as I once did due to progressive health issues.

 

Basically life happens. Some days will be the ideal that many sell. For many this is the norm. However, there will be days or times when it isn't ideal. It could be because of health issues, moving, new babies, etc. Sometimes when these things happen, organization takes a hit which may cause longer days or less hands-on work/field trips. When this happens, the teacher just needs to focus on fixing what is out of whack - more or less.

 

Everyone has good and bad days. I've been homeschooling what seems like forever. The norm for us is "the lie"; however, we have experienced what most others have as well.

[justLisa]

I don't really talk about schooling to anyone. I am the type to just answer questions. I have no idea if hsing is why my kids have great relationships, or our days are productive, etc. I sure like homeschooling, and I like my kids :D But I don't have many expectations to begin with .

 

We have some frustrating days, but for the most part things are enjoyable.

 

And field trips....well I don't really call anything a field trip. Heck grocery shopping is educational and you could call that a field trip. My kids just think of non school things as hanging out with mom LOL.

Edited July 26, 2012 by 425lisamarie

[Dory]

I've had some pretty nasty days, but I had those when the kids were in ps too. They are not the majority of my days. When they happen, they are usually part of an even bigger, uglier picture of things that are happening in our life. On the whole, we do have the things you listed.

[elegantlion]

I stumbled onto this thread today: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/showthread.php?t=261674. It's about homeschooling dreams versus reality.

 

 

 

Ex:

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place

 

 

 

I looked through the previous thread to see if I responded, but I didn't.

 

When ds was younger we had all the above, except remove "sibling" from relationships. We did school in the morning and went to play with friends in the afternoon it was great, it was also a season. In first grade it doesn't take 5 hours a day.

 

We moved and we had a yard that was nature study haven! Very hands-on.

 

Field trips? We've done some, but finances are an issues. But we've been to the beach, we've honored his request to celebrate his birthday with my mom, who shares his birthday. At the time they were 900 miles away. The school wouldn't have liked us taking him out right at the beginning of the year for a week.

 

As he got older he's was able to go to work with dh, creating some much needed father/son time. Again, not something you could do on a public school schedule and attendance requirements.

 

Ds and I have a great relationship. I know homeschooling has preserved that. Even now we have hour long chats before bed just about stuff. I thought the teenage years were supposed to be about angst and stuff. So far he's still talking to me.

 

But I don't sell homeschooling to anyone. If people ask, I tell them it's hard work and not everyone should/can homeschool. Not everyone should be a parent either, but that's another post.

 

 

that's one of the reasons I view homeschooling as a job, I need that accountability to keep going on those tough days. I've seen a lot of people start homeschooling, get overwhelmed and stop. For some people homeschooling is a "holy cow, we didn't know it would be like this...." and they just can't do. For some it's a year by year commitment, for others it's a decision, period.

 

For us, the benefits have far outweighed the days of angst.

Edited July 26, 2012 by elegantlion

[linders]

I agree with some of this - our days are longer than 2-3 hours, but we also do a lot of subject areas with sometimes rigorous programs (and I'm awfully demanding:tongue_smilie:) so I'm not surprised.

 

Field trips, though? The local school are limited to 1-2 field trips a year. Even with busy schedules we managed something like 15 field trips. Can't complain there.

Edited July 27, 2012 by linders

[ThisIsTheDay]

Huh. I would have answered that thread with something along the lines of expecting to have to teach my child long division from scratch, only to find there was a curriculum for that.

 

So why do we keep "selling" homeschool with false advertising? Seems like a lot of us (I'm certain my time is coming) end up disappointed when Reality shows up. )

 

I don't know who "we" are. My family has been hsing for over ten years, and I don't feel any need to "sell" anyone else on it. :001_smile:

 

When one of my children was a younger elementary student, there were several days that I pulled out the phone book and threatened to call the local ps. There were tears over math, theirs and mine. But overall? I've NEVER regretted hsing. N.E.V.E.R. Not even for one minute, ever. It's certainly not always been perfect, and there are times when I know that I could have, or should have, done better, but I have never been disappointed that we've made this choice.

 

If that's not someone's reality, maybe they can make changes--to their expectations or their execution--so that it is.

 

Yes, really short days are nice. Field trips, hands on, those were big advantages when my kids were little. A surprise blessing was the close relationship my kids formed. I was not expecting that. It's been wonderful.

 

It's a lifestyle for us. It's not about getting the schoolwork done. For us, it was following God's plan at a time we didn't even have a relationship with Him, and seeing how He laid this out for our family and worked in our lives. It's been an amazing journey, and I continue to be grateful every single day.

 

I don't perpetuate any lie about hsing, but honestly, I don't usually gush about it either. The opportunity to share something that detailed and intimate doesn't come up frequently.

[MomatHWTK]

I think whether the factors you mentioned are true or not will depend greatly on your homeschool style. I think most of the listed "lies" would actually be truths for our homeschool to the extent I want them to be. If field trips don't happen it is morely likely because of my level of motivation or other factors rather than busyness with core curricula. I don't really set out to do "hands-on" learning it just happens. And I do think my kids get along pretty good considering their different personalities and needs.

 

That being said, I am fairly certain our homeschool schedule is much less rigorous than many here and my children are still relatively young. I may feel completely different when I have two in high school. :tongue_smilie:

 

ETA: We do have the feet dragging.

Edited July 26, 2012 by MomatHWTK

[Crimson Wife]

-We do shortish days.

 

-My kids have a pretty good relationship, certainly much better than my brothers and I did growing up.

 

-We used to do a lot of field trips and only stopped when my youngest started a 5 day/week Early Intervention preschool for her autism. At this point, she needs the services they provide there so it's just a sacrifice we all have to make for her sake.

 

Now the "hands-on" stuff is true, but that's because my kids don't like it.

 

The benefit I always tout about HS is being able to go at the child's pace and that's absolutely true. :001_smile:

[NotSoObvious]

Our days are shorter in the sense that my kids don't have to be on the bus at 7AM and our afternoons are spent having quiet time. We also can decide to cut the day short, or chop it all together. This year we are only doing 150 "school days." Shhhhh.

 

My girls are best friends and we have grown infinitely closer as a family. School does not solve bickering.

 

We do a ton of hands-on learning, as much as I despise the projects- mummifying the chicken, etc. But we also do a lot of interest-led learning that wouldn't be happening if they were in school.

 

We travel a LOT. That's one reason we continue to homeschool. I think we are up to 20+ states, including Hawaii and we went to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. So field trips? Yes.

 

 

I think it really depends on the family and the reasons they choose to homeschool. For us, public school would never compare to homeschooling because of our family's needs. Does that mean we don't have bad days? No!!! We have lots of them. But, even our worst days are a HE** of a lot better than our bad days when we were all in school, and I remind myself of that frequently.

 

I don't think it's lies at all. We just get frustrated. If someone were to ask you about being a parent, wouldn't you talk about how wonderful it is, even with all the hardships? You wouldn't tell that young person, or even new parent, all of the horrible things about parenting because, in the end, it's worth it, and you hope they avoid some of the mistakes you've made.

 

That's my two cents. :)

 

Good thread though!

[Julie Smith]

 

Ex:

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place

 

According to the thread I linked, a lot of people's days are much longer due to dragging feet; kids are squabbling much of the time; hands-on learning in quantities greater than public schools doesn't happen due to time, organization, motivation, or kids' learning preferences; field trips aren't as frequent due to busyness, being behind on core work, and what have you.

 

Some of the big differences between expectations and reality seemed pretty consistent across families. (Or maybe only the disappointed responded to the thread?) So why do we keep "selling" homeschool with false advertising? Seems like a lot of us (I'm certain my time is coming) end up disappointed when Reality shows up.

 

(Please be gentle with me. I'm pretty new to the homeschool scene and I'm just making an observation. ;) )

 

Perhaps it's because my kids are still young, or I don't dream big - but my dream is pretty much the reality. (I did not respond or even read the thread you linked).

 

We have really short days. The part my kids consider school takes about an hour. We do school year round and only take off holidays if we aren't home.

 

My boys do get along great.

 

Hardly any hands on learning, as in the projects from STOW activity book. Or any projects of that sort. But if they want to do something. Fine with me. They have gone through phases or creating stuff with:

duct-tape and recycling materials

Making thinks at the clay and glass museum (Lots of trips to that place)

Making board game cards, pieces, maps, ...

 

We do play tons of board games. I'm not sure if most would consider that hands on learning. I think we manage on average 5 hours a week of board gaming. It was the chosen interest of my boys and we (dh and myself) are very happy with it. :)

 

We don't do many field trips. But right now there isn't much interest in them. Mind you I say that and then if I list the various places we have gone to and done it can get pretty long. But I just consider that stuff.

 

I don't consider us having nature walks. But it is not unusual to take 2 hours to walk to the library that is 2KM away. Crossing the creek on fallen stones again and again, crossing the creek again on a fallen tree, going shopping at "the stick shopping center" in the woods, ...

 

One thing I love about homeschooling and is part of the dream, and our reality is lots of read alouds, audio books, reading, ... We recently broke 450 as our number of chapter books read alouds. (or listened to as a audio book)

[Aspasia]

I may have come across wrong in my original post. I'm certainly not challenging the fact that these things are true for a lot of families. And honestly, most of that thread was just funny (as I believe it was meant to be.) I just noticed a few recurrent themes and they happened to be some of the more common reasons I've heard for homeschooling. It made me wonder why that is, but maybe the people who posted on that other thread don't consider those things to be their reasons for homeschooling.

 

Also, I wouldn't say I feel a "need" to sell people on homeschooling either. But I have a tendency, when I'm really passionate about something, to tell people all about it, and these things are definitely among the homeschooling advantages that I mention.

Edited July 26, 2012 by infomom

[abbeyej]

...

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place...

 

I found "really short days" to be common when my children were small. Even though we are pretty heavily academic, finishing in 3-4 hours a day seemed common up until each of mine was about 10 years old.

 

Yes, I absolutely, unequivocally think that my children have a FAR better relationship than they would otherwise have because of home schooling. Worlds better. All those short days when they were small? They left many hours for digging holes in the yard together, putting on plays together, building elaborate structures together. ... They also still squabble from time to time. They've gotten into minor physical altercations, they've said mean things, etc... But they're also best friends. I think that's because 1) we've consciously cultivated a positive relationship between them, and 2) they've had the *time* to become best friends. ...

 

Hands-on learning... Well... I'm not convinced that the best "hands-on learning" is what I create *for* them. As above, I think they got tremendous value out of digging in the yard, writing and performing their own plays, creating imaginary restaurants, sewing, dancing, etc, on their own. Those are things they could do because we had *time* when they were young. Yes, we did some hands-on science and history and Spanish and other activities. They might or might not have done similar things had they been in school (though they'd have spent a lot more time waiting for turns if they had!)...

 

But they certainly spent a lot of time being "hands-on" in the *world* -- in ways they wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

 

Field trips? Yeah, they've been to some pretty amazing places. ;) We aren't once-a-week field trip people. I know others who are. It depends on the family. When we do go on field trips, the kids aren't surrounded by dozens of other kids being shoved through a location as quickly as possible. We've had many amazing, involved experiences that they never would have had in a group setting.

 

... I won't argue that all of home schooling is rosy and perfect. I don't think that all children should be home schooled or that all families are meant to do this. But as a second generation home schooler, I feel pretty confident that it has been the best, the "right" decision for my family. :)

[redsquirrel]

I don't feel the need to "sell" anyone on homeschooling. When I get asked questions about it, I am very clear that it isn't for everyone. I let them know we have good days and difficult days, but the good ones far outweigh the difficult ones. I generally make it clear that it is more of a lifestyle thing than something that is isolated to a few hours of the day.

 

Now, people who have never homeschooled, or been close to a homeschooling family, can sometimes come up with some pretty wacky ideas about what it looks like. That is always entertaining to hear.

[thefragile7393]

I don't think any of them are lies necessarily. The myth is that those days look like that ALL THE TIME. It's not a myth that people can have more time for field trips, short days, etc.

[PeacefulChaos]

I get what you are saying.

Sometimes, there is the idea about shorter days (for example) - and while so far, yes, that is true for us (still in elementary), it wouldn't surprise me if the kids' days are as long as regular school days in high school. I still think that overall they may not spend as much time as a dedicated school student in the upper years (dedicated because, well, obviously, it's all what you put into it). I may be wrong though - but it seems like in high school there was the time at school (8 hrs) plus any time for homework and all that stuff. So I could see where our school days in high school may be similar in length, but maybe the extra work outside those hours might not be? I'm really not sure.

I also didn't take you to mean that anyone is trying to 'sell' homeschooling. Just so you know. :)

I think that field trips depend on the parent, honestly. I already have our 3 big field trips planned for this school year. I set aside a specific homeschooling budget that I use to pay for all these things. I think that it's also more likely that a homeschooling family is more likely to do field trips if they already do that sort of stuff, or if they would do it even if they weren't a homeschooling family. We had taken our kids to all the local museums before any of them started school (and ftr, I was anti-homeschooling until 2 years ago, and my kids went to PS for 1-2 years :D ), we went to the pumpkin patch and apple orchard every year, we had gone to zoos and parks, etc. So while, yes, I have a certain amount and everything set aside for definite field trips that we want to take, I also have a fair amount of things that we just do anyway. I think that maybe a family who doesn't do that (which isn't a bad thing - just differences in personalities and whatnot) wouldn't do the field trips and extra stuff that we do.

I don't know about the sibling thing- I don't have siblings so everything with them is new to me. :tongue_smilie: :lol:

[sassenach]

I stumbled onto this thread today: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/showthread.php?t=261674. It's about homeschooling dreams versus reality.

 

I loved it so much for everyone's honesty, but it also made me wonder why we continue to perpetuate some of these ideals of homeschooling when we're talking to non-homeschoolers. I mean, when I was making the decision to homeschool, I was definitely swayed by certain arguments. And heck, I've already spent a few years preaching all these benefits to the doubters in my own life!

 

Ex:

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place

 

According to the thread I linked, a lot of people's days are much longer due to dragging feet; kids are squabbling much of the time; hands-on learning in quantities greater than public schools doesn't happen due to time, organization, motivation, or kids' learning preferences; field trips aren't as frequent due to busyness, being behind on core work, and what have you.

 

Some of the big differences between expectations and reality seemed pretty consistent across families. (Or maybe only the disappointed responded to the thread?) So why do we keep "selling" homeschool with false advertising? Seems like a lot of us (I'm certain my time is coming) end up disappointed when Reality shows up.

 

(Please be gentle with me. I'm pretty new to the homeschool scene and I'm just making an observation. ;) )

 

IDK, all of those examples you gave do apply to my family. I guess I've never expected or told anyone that it's perfect 100% of the time. Maybe that's the thing we need to be most honest about- the bad days. I feel like I am always very honest about how hard it is, but I also feel that the benefits that are touted are generally true, so I champion those.

[....]

Some of the big differences between expectations and reality seemed pretty consistent across families. (Or maybe only the disappointed responded to the thread?)

 

That could be. I have absolutely nothing negative to say about homeschooling (which is why I do not respond to those types of threads). Of all the things that have happened to our family over the years, homeschooling is the ONE thing that has been an incredible and overwhelmingly positive experience.

[Corraleno]

Perhaps it's because my kids are still young, or I don't dream big - but my dream is pretty much the reality. (I did not respond or even read the thread you linked).

 

We have really short days. The part my kids consider school takes about an hour. We do school year round and only take off holidays if we aren't home.

 

My boys do get along great.

 

Hardly any hands on learning, as in the projects from STOW activity book. Or any projects of that sort. But if they want to do something. Fine with me. They have gone through phases or creating stuff with:

duct-tape and recycling materials

Making thinks at the clay and glass museum (Lots of trips to that place)

Making board game cards, pieces, maps, ...

 

We do play tons of board games. I'm not sure if most would consider that hands on learning. I think we manage on average 5 hours a week of board gaming. It was the chosen interest of my boys and we (dh and myself) are very happy with it. :)

 

We don't do many field trips. But right now there isn't much interest in them. Mind you I say that and then if I list the various places we have gone to and done it can get pretty long. But I just consider that stuff.

 

I don't consider us having nature walks. But it is not unusual to take 2 hours to walk to the library that is 2KM away. Crossing the creek on fallen stones again and again, crossing the creek again on a fallen tree, going shopping at "the stick shopping center" in the woods, ...

 

One thing I love about homeschooling and is part of the dream, and our reality is lots of read alouds, audio books, reading, ... We recently broke 450 as our number of chapter books read alouds. (or listened to as a audio book)

We're much the same — including the short days, board games, duct tape projects, and nature walks (we live a few blocks from a huge nature preserve). We even have a "stick shopping center" in our woods, too. Watching little kids select the perfect stick, with such seriousness and deliberation, just melts my heart. :001_wub:

 

Jackie

[Aspasia]

That could be. I have absolutely nothing negative to say about homeschooling (which is why I do not respond to those types of threads). Of all the things that have happened to our family over the years, homeschooling is the ONE thing that has been an incredible and overwhelmingly positive experience.

 

Sorry, I shouldn't have said "disappointed". Nobody on that thread appeared to be disappointed with their decision to homeschool. They were mostly laughing at themselves for what they thought homeschoolng would be versus what it turned out to be. It made me wonder why everyone lets us believe in "the image" if so many people's reality makes them laugh at themselves. But clearly, it all depends...

 

(And apparently, I'm not thinking things through before I post them. ;) )

Edited July 26, 2012 by infomom

[Alice]

I read those threads as more people laughing at their own naivete rather than people saying they are truly disappointed at how things turned out. I would look at it like parenting. Is it all like I expected? Do my kids magically sleep through the night with no issues because I did all the right things? Do I have all the patience of a saint and always respond with love and grace? Do all my kids eat well because I have instilled the values of good nutrition? Do I never say things like “Because I said so.”? Do I never yell? Of course not. I’m a much different parent than I thought I would be before kids. But I don’t wish I didn’t have kids and if someone was asking me why I chose to have kids I’d focus on all the great things not the bad parts. Same with homeschooling.

 

I’ll say too that I don’t feel like I try to sell homeschooling to anyone. My response is different depending on who I’m talking to. I really only open up about the challenges and the joys of homeschooling when I’m talking to someone who I’m close to and who cares. If it’s a casual conversation where someone asks why we homeschool I’m likely to rattle off some of the benefits without getting into a deeper discussion. I don’t see that as trying to sell it or trying to ignore the negatives, it’s just a different level of conversation.

[Dmmetler]

Well, we're leaving tomorrow for a 2 week trip, which will overlap the first week of PS here and all the school round-up registration stuff. It will include visiting caves, science museums, nature centers, battlefields/history museums and at least one amusement park. We spend about 8 weeks a year away from home now. We also have four field trips arranged with our HS group for this fall already.

 

We do longer than 3 hour days most days, but that includes multiple math curricula and three languages, but DD's school days usually start about 9:00-and end before 3:00, including outside classes, independent reading for a couple of hours, and piano practice. Plus a fairly long lunch/play outside break. While I'm not saying we never have fusses over schoolwork, I don't seem to have the daily battles that some of her friends' parents have over homework, probably because for DD, there's a big incentive of "get it done and you can go play". For her friends, it's more like "Get it done so you can go to bed and do it again tomorrow, because it's already 8:30 and you're supposed to be in bed at 8:00".

 

DD is able to dance, cheer and tumble in large part because she doesn't have to juggle homework-her extracurriculars are limited by our budget, not by schoolwork.

 

 

DD is able to stay up later and sleep later in the morning, which lets us play games as a family together almost every night.

 

DD is usually in a better mood and less tired-we saw a major drop in meltdowns and better behavior within weeks of her coming home. For a kid with sensory issues, a school classroom is an exhausting place, and while she could usually hold it together at school, DH and I had to deal with all the fallout at home, daily.

 

None of those are lies. It doesn't mean that I don't sometimes look at the school across the street from my house and wonder if they'd take drop-ins :). But in the main, homeschooling IS more flexible and works better for our family than having DD in PS did.

[TracyP]

I think this could be compared to talking about marriage. Most married people could come up with several things where their expectations didn't live up to reality. For some, it will be so far off that they will end their marriage. For the rest, they will decide that even though it isn't perfect, it is still VERY worth keeping on, keeping on. They will still encourage others who are madly in love to go ahead and say I do, kwim?

 

My reality and my expectations don't jive 100% of the time, but still 95% of the time I LOVE homeschooling. I do have short days. My kids are best friends with each other. I wish I could take more field trips, but oh well.

 

 

We're much the same — including the short days, board games, duct tape projects, and nature walks (we live a few blocks from a huge nature preserve). We even have a "stick shopping center" in our woods, too. Watching little kids select the perfect stick, with such seriousness and deliberation, just melts my heart. :001_wub:

 

Jackie

 

Awww, I hear ya. You would love to see my kids' "tool shed". It is a fort in the woods, well stocked with a variety of sticks for different purposes.:D

[Trez]

My children attended PS. My daughter all the way through, my eldest ds until the end of grade 6 and my other ds until the end of grade 4. I did hear from some homeschoolers prior to my decision saying it was great, their methods involved allowing their child to do work when he wanted and doing a great deal of extra-curricular outings.

 

My decision to begin homeschooling my eldest was due to the fact that he was not being challenged at ps. He came home for a year and we worked at his pace. My homeschooling methods were much more structured. We do a great deal of book learning with movies, experiments and some "field trips" thrown in. Initially he found it very quiet...to be honest I'm not 100% convinced that he enjoyed it at first. He did eventually come to like it and our relationship grew as well...we were learning together. He realized that he could actually think and work ahead without the constant distractions. The next year my younger ds begged to come home.

 

I never really discuss our homeschooling too much with others (homeschoolers or not). We are happy with the way things are now. Having done things both ways, I can say that although we work the regular ps hours (9-3), we do not have homework so they are actually free to play with friends after-school. This was not the case before. Even though we are not doing field trips very often (maybe once a month), this is more than they every had at ps (1-2 per year). Best of all, we work at our own pace. We do not have the stress of dealing with teachers who did not always have our childs best interests at heart. It is by no means perfect and I think sometimes perhaps my kids feel a little left out but when asked if he wants to go back to ps my younger ds replies with a definite no.

 

Next year I will be back to one at home as my eldest will start in a gifted high school program. I am actually looking forward to being able to give him all of my attention and seeing where our learning leads this year.

[Mommyfaithe]

- My days are short - most of the time. There are times when they go beyond 3 hours. It may be because we went down a rabbit trail. Perhaps a child isn't feeling well so we went slower. A new concept was introduced. To be honest, it could be because I wasn't prepared that day.

 

- My children - adult and younger children - have an excellent relationship.

 

- There seems to be plenty of hands-on learning.

 

- Field trips are still bountiful. Things have changed a bit. Often one of my adult children will lead a field trip. While I can do some myself, I cannot do as many as I once did due to progressive health issues.

 

Basically life happens. Some days will be the ideal that many sell. For many this is the norm. However, there will be days or times when it isn't ideal. It could be because of health issues, moving, new babies, etc. Sometimes when these things happen, organization takes a hit which may cause longer days or less hands-on work/field trips. When this happens, the teacher just needs to focus on fixing what is out of whack - more or less.

 

Everyone has good and bad days. I've been homeschooling what seems like forever. The norm for us is "the lie"; however, we have experienced what most others have as well.

:iagree:

You said everything I wanted to...

If I have any advice for Moms beginning their homeschool journey, it would be to NOT forget yourself. Those nice days when they are all little will come to an end. Do somethIng YOU love....do something to better your own education or your self-esteem. Really and truly...if you stay sparked....they will too!!

[Galatea]

Sorry, I shouldn't have said "disappointed". Nobody on that thread appeared to be disappointed with their decision to homeschool. They were mostly laughing at themselves for what they thought homeschoolng would be versus what it turned out to be. It made me wonder why everyone lets us believe in "the image" if so many people's reality makes them laugh at themselves. But clearly, it all depends...

 

(And apparently, I'm not thinking things through before I post them. ;) )

 

I don't think it has anything with someone "letting us" believe in the image of a perfect homeschool. It's human nature to hope for the best, especially when starting something new. That doesn't mean the image is inaccurate or meant to trap people or something.

 

I agree with TracyP's comparison to marriage. EVERYONE goes into marriage thinking it's going to all be wonderful and all that. It doesn't mean other people are misleading them, because there's plenty of truth out there about marriage. And about homeschooling too.

[angela in ohio]

I think the biggest myth homeschoolers perpetuate is that *any* homeschooling is better than *any* public or private school. I hear it IRL and read it here often. It is simply untrue, and I have shared before that I have seen dear homeschool moms shocked to find out it was a lie too late.

 

Other than that, I think your list just depends on the family. Just as examples: I *know* my dc are better friends because we homeschool. I never expected shorter days, and I :glare: when people assume that we do little because other homeschoolers have shared that they do little. We did do constant field trips and outside activities when dc were little. I've never been a big fan of hands-on learning as a teaching method, jsut as a hobby. Those could all be totally dfferent for different families.

 

I didn't see the other thread, but I can tell you that I quit responding positively most of the time when a thread is more of a place for venting and agreeing, because most people don't want to hear how to fix it, they want people to hug them. That's fine, and I'm not going to be the big jerk who says, "Well, I don't have that problem; let me tell you why and how you could fix this." If someone wants that, they'll have to start a different thread. :D

Edited July 26, 2012 by angela in ohio

[Ghee]

Our days are shorter in the sense that my kids don't have to be on the bus at 7AM and our afternoons are spent having quiet time. We also can decide to cut the day short, or chop it all together.

 

:iagree: My kids had to be up at 6 to make it to school (and me to work) 5 days a week. Now it's 8-ish, the extra sleep is making SUCH a difference. Also, they can read during quiet time in different rooms as opposed to reading during imposed quiet time in a room of 25+ kids. To me, the unnatural quiet of a room who is being "sat upon" is disturbing. The quiet of an empty room is restful, that may just be me :tongue_smilie:

 

We do a ton of hands-on learning, as much as I despise the projects- mummifying the chicken, etc. But we also do a lot of interest-led learning that wouldn't be happening if they were in school.

 

Yup, my oldest did a unit on Michael J Fox this Spring. He loves MJF and learned a lot from reading his biography and studying a bit about Canada. In PS, it would have been "That's nice, hon. Now pay attention."

 

We travel a LOT. That's one reason we continue to homeschool.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

The main reason we chose to HS. We love taking the kids new places, and they learn a TON when we do. PS schedule was VERY prohibitive to being able to go anywhere 10 mos of the year.

 

 

.

[kewb]

 

Ex:

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place

 

 

• when my kids were elementary age our formal lessons were usually completed by 11am. Now that they are both in middle school we definitely finish after lunch.

 

• My kids are definitely best buds and mortal enemies. However, I do think they are better friends then they would have been if they went to school.

 

• Definitely lots of hands on learning and lots of drudgery. Sometimes you have to read a book you hate and sometimes you have to learn what I decided you should learn.

 

• Field trips all over the place. Yep, we have definitely taken some rocking field trips. Now that they are older I am pickier about the field trips we take. I do try to tie them in to what we are learning. When they were younger if it sounded cool we were in. I still do some of those but not as often.

 

Overall, I am extremely satisfied with our experience. Is it all unicorns and rainbows and cupcakes? No. It is a satisfying life.

[PeacefulChaos]

What kind of drives me kind of nuts is when people vent to the general public about every bad thing about their homeschooling day (granted, that goes for everything, not just homeschooling ;) ), on FB. Because the number of times that I've seen, in response 'That's why I send mine to school!' or 'Put them in public school!' just makes me :rolleyes: ...Idk, I don't think I'd vent to the general public about something if I knew all I'd get is negative backlash, kwim?

Maybe that's why some try to make it all sunshine and roses - because people are so quick to tell them to stop what they are doing and move the kids elsewhere?

[redsquirrel]

What kind of drives me kind of nuts is when people vent to the general public about every bad thing about their homeschooling day (granted, that goes for everything, not just homeschooling ;) ), on FB. Because the number of times that I've seen, in response 'That's why I send mine to school!' or 'Put them in public school!' just makes me :rolleyes: ...Idk, I don't think I'd vent to the general public about something if I knew all I'd get is negative backlash, kwim?

Maybe that's why some try to make it all sunshine and roses - because people are so quick to tell them to stop what they are doing and move the kids elsewhere?

 

More often than not, what I see are people settling in for a good whine session about the difficulties of public school. From some people it. never. ends. For the record, I ALWAYS bite my tongue or sit on my hands and have never, ever, ever said "That's why I home school them" even when I dearly want to.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Sorry, I shouldn't have said "disappointed". Nobody on that thread appeared to be disappointed with their decision to homeschool. They were mostly laughing at themselves for what they thought homeschoolng would be versus what it turned out to be. It made me wonder why everyone lets us believe in "the image" if so many people's reality makes them laugh at themselves. But clearly, it all depends...

 

(And apparently, I'm not thinking things through before I post them. ;) )

 

I think part of it is that from the giant pool of stereotypical positives, we each have a handful that do not match the experience we end up having. Yes, we laugh at those. For the most part, however, the overall picture of homeschooling as a positive experience remains truthful. I don't think we tell lies so much as I think everyone's truth is different.

[I.Dup.]

I totally love homeschooling and the benefits are endless! I know some people here put in painfully long days, but we never have and my kids are getting a stellar education and test light years ahead of where they "should" be. My oldest is in 5th grade this year (we started 3 weeks ago) and she is just now putting in more than 2 hours a day. We took a 4 week break in April and started the new school year in early July. We break whenever we want. We vacationed to Disney in January 2 years in a row. I love the freedom of homeschooling! :D

[AngieW in Texas]

We definitely had very short days when the kids were young. We did school 4 days/week and on those days we rarely worked past noon until my oldest was in 3rd grade. Even then, we just had an hour or so after lunch.

 

We did homeschool parkday/rec center day/hs co-op with fun classes on Fridays all the way to the end of 5th grade for my oldest. My oldest went to ps for 6th grade and we switched from schooling year-round to pretty much following the ps schedule, and going really light in the summers. We did school on Fridays, but only until noon and then we went to parkday.

 

My youngest did have a heavier load as a very young than my others did because she is dyslexic.

 

My kids are all in high school or graduated now. They've always been done by the time ps let out unless they were taking a night class at the cc.

[sewingmama]

I think the biggest myth homeschoolers perpetuate is that *any* homeschooling is better than *any* public or private school.

 

This is the myth I see perpetuated most in my area. HS's get together and all the parents seem to talk about is how any education is better then what the school gives -and yet from what I've seen from our co-op about half the children are not using grade level materials when there is no reason they shouldn't be. It irks me to see 10 and 8 year olds using the Rod and Staff ABC books just because it is easier for mum to keep everyone on the same level with the younger kids (yes real example).

[LibraryLover]

I like hsing, but I don't *love* hsing. I enjoy my children, but that is so whether they are here, or simply visiting from college. They make me laugh, send good emails, and clever FB updates. Nothing changes my love for them and/or their cute quirks. I think hsing is hard work at the same time I often think it is boring. We do a lot, discuss ideas, travel etc., but I don't think it's this jolly perfect thing some bloggers make it out to be. I find certain blogging annoying sometimes, if you want to know the truth. I mean, I have seen people post about activities I've attended, and the events are often not as good as the poster reported. lol

Edited July 27, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Mom-ninja.]

I don't try to "sell" home schooling. I actually told like to talk about it with people who don't home school.

[Caitilin]

Kewb said

Overall, I am extremely satisfied with our experience. Is it all unicorns and rainbows and cupcakes? No. It is a satisfying life.

This is how I feel about it too. No, it's not easy, and often it's not fun, but it's entirely worthwhile. :001_smile:

[SkateLeft]

I have absolutely nothing negative to say about homeschooling (which is why I do not respond to those types of threads). Of all the things that have happened to our family over the years, homeschooling is the ONE thing that has been an incredible and overwhelmingly positive experience.

 

:iagree:

 

I didn't bother responding in that original thread, because I have nothing to add. I've homeschooled from the beginning, and it's been one long, amazing and VERY positive ride. I have no complaints, and I've been doing this for 12 years.

 

With that said, I don't sell people on homeschooling at all. I find that meeting my intelligent, articulate and confident teen daughters has a much bigger impact than anything I might say.

[....]

(And apparently, I'm not thinking things through before I post them. ;) )

 

LOL. You should read some of my posts! I make more sense in person (or so I keep telling myself). Message boards are really hard for me to interpret, because I'm not actually seeing/hearing the person.

[FO4UR]

 

Ex:

- Really short days (2-3 hours) with the rest of the day free.

- Better sibling relationships

- hands-on learning

- field trips all over the place

 

 

 

 

 

My dc have short days. I do not.;) (I have 3 young ones who NEED mommy-intensive teacher time.) They are fairly free to play while I am working with a sibling.

 

 

My dc have better relationships than they would if they went to ps, I am convinced. I may let my kids do all sorts of things...but squabble isn't one of them. (Not that they don't try...I am just relentless.) Also, they simply have more time together. See above...while one is getting 1-on-1 time with me, the other two are usually playing together. (And two always get along better than 3. It's a scientific and mathematical phenomena.:lol:) It's the days when we are not doing school...days when I am tired and trying to catch up with the work I can't get to on school days...those days are h.a.r.d!

 

 

Hands-on learning. meh. I meet the child's need. Some kids more of that and some less. Some of that is highly beneficial (math and science), and some of that is glorified playtime (which is fine, but why should I plan playtime? My dc build castles out of their food without penciling it in.:tongue_smilie:).

 

Field trips? We can't afford to go too many places, but we do venture out quite a bit. We take advantage of everything free/cheap in the area.

 

 

 

I don't feel the need to sell anyone on HSing either. I do sometimes get questions and I seek to give accurate info..."It is work."...along with validating the reasons that they are thinking of HSing. I hear more about the need for individualized instruction that anything else. (Bright kids, sick kids, kids with LD, 2e kids....these kids do not get their needs met in a classroom setting.)

[Stayseeliz]

I think homeschooling is harder than I expected but certainly not disappointing at all! I find juggling four kids' needs demanding but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be much easier if they were in PS. I love it though!

[Farrar]

I think those aren't lies... they're falsely put out as universals and when you're reading the propaganda... ahem... the literature... then it makes it seem like they're not just things that are benefits for some people, but for nearly everyone. In reality, those are benefits of homeschooling - real ones! - for many people, but they may or may not be for you.

 

For us, the field trips thing is not a lie - we have taken some epic ones and really do field trips all the time. And we definitely have shorter school days than kids in school. There's no comparison.

[Mommy22alyns]

Well, echoing a lot of PP, I don't "sell" homeschooling to anyone. I think we all know not everyone can or should do it, and that's fine.

 

I do believe the girls are closer because we homeschool. Are our days 2-3 hours? No, but maybe 4 and no homework. We get more than 1-2 field trips a year and I do as much hands-on stuff as possible because the girls love it and thrive with it. Plus, I only have 2 students. :)

 

Anyway, I didn't respond to the original thread because I don't feel disappointed with the way things are going. Not all days are perfect by a long shot, but I like it and so does the family.

[chepyl]

I have never tried to sell anyone on homeschooling. I have explained to my family why it is better for us, but I have not tried to convince any of my cousins to homeschool. If they asked, I would say why it works for us; the reasons you listed are reasons it works for us. I am sure they will change as the kids get older; but for now short days, sibling relationships, and hands on learning are big. We don't get as many field trips in as I would like, but we are real homebodies during the day. We spend so much time out in the evenings we just like to move slow and stay home during the day.

[PeacefulChaos]

I guess I didn't add that I actually really love homeschooling. But I didn't take the OP to be stating that we (general we) didn't, or that she thought people didn't. Of course, I also didn't take it to mean that she was saying everyone is trying to 'sell' homeschooling. :rolleyes:

I took it to mean that there is some propaganda out there about homeschooling and how it's better for certain reasons (some of them are really snarky and rude, actually, but I can't remember where I've seen those...ones like, 'because we care about our children's education' and junk like that - as though assuming that people who choose otherwise don't?) and that it is actually kind of prevalent for them to list things like shorter days, hands on learning, field trips, etc, etc. I think that there are some people who may be drawn to homeschooling because what they have in their head is something that this propaganda has made them believe is the truth. (Granted, I wouldn't be surprised if some of these people don't make it very long once reality sets in - and that's OK, too) I just took it to be speculation - 'huh, why do all these things say that xxxx is true, when that isn't necessarily the case?'

I think that the OP is well aware that as individual homeschoolers, an overwhelming majority are not in the business of recruiting. :rolleyes: I also think she figures that we aren't disappointed with the experience and hating it.... otherwise, wouldn't we have all quit by now? Just saying...

[PeacefulChaos]

More often than not, what I see are people settling in for a good whine session about the difficulties of public school. From some people it. never. ends. For the record, I ALWAYS bite my tongue or sit on my hands and have never, ever, ever said "That's why I home school them" even when I dearly want to.

 

I see those sometimes, too. I'm never tempted to say anything about homeschooling... but then again, I know these parents. :D :lol:

I think it's an overall annoyance on my part with the way some use facebook as a personal journal or chronicle of their bad days. :001_huh: Yeah, like we all want that immortalized online... :tongue_smilie: It just extends to particular circumstances with homeschooling because I have a fb friend or two who literally complain about their kids and homeschooling every day. I'm thinking, for real... :confused: :lol:

[Random]

Well, I commented in the original thread. Before I started to HS, the people I knew in the trenches made it seem like life was grand because of homeschooling. Their children were brilliant, got along, got offered great jobs, learned all kinds of practical stuff, did multiple service projects, had short school days, blah, blah, blah...all because of homeschooling.

 

Then, when I started with my own children, my reality was very different. My children fight, pretty much constantly. They are not close. They do not appear to be gifted. One even struggles to read, after completing three separate phonics programs. We sacrifice financially for me to stay home with them. We school almost all day, and it's similar to a full-time job for me. I am worried they aren't really going to be well-educated. I end most days feeling disappointed and overwhelmed.

 

And if I could, I would enroll them in a decent school. It just isn't available.

 

So, while I think my children are getting a better education at home than they would anywhere in a 100 mile radius, it's not really been a happy journey for me. For this reason, I make it a point to be honest and 'real' with people who are interested in homeschooling. I don't whine or complain or gripe, but I'm honest if (and only if) someone asks me about it.