Crafty Mathy Mom Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Today is my birthday, and dh didn't get me anything. Again. He doesn't "do gifts". I'm used to it, but I'm still disappointed. It doesn't matter what the occasion is. It really stinks on Christmas morning.:crying: It's not like I didn't get anything for my birthday. My mom came yesterday and brought Chinese takeout. She also gave me a gift card and a 24 variety pack of Sharpies. Dd 12 made and decorated a cake for me. Dd 6 made a book of drawings. Ds, well he takes after his father.:glare: Thanks for letting me whine. See Post 43 for my revenge.:D Edited June 25, 2012 by Bradford Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Mine is like that too. :grouphug: Leave dh with the kids and go do something nice for yourself. Give yourself a present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I'm no help. I think I would just be mad. Does he read? I recommend The Five Love Languages. Happy birthday, though! Can you take yourself somewhere and get a cake and just throw a party for you? I think I would. You deserve a party. Happy birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My Dad is like this. My mom got to the point where she buys herself a present, wraps it up and opens it on her birthday. He got her a beautiful Coach bag last year. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I think you should go out today and buy yourself a present. Just announce, "For my birthday, I'm going to treat myself. I'll be out getting dinner and a birthday present for myself. You guys have fun here tonight!" I'd be cheerful and make this a tradition. Same with Christmas. If you don't like shopping, plan ahead and order something online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It stinks, but you can and should do something for yourself. I throw my own birthday parties. Yeah, I know that is a social faux pas, but now my friends won't let me stop the tradition. For financial reasons, I tried to skip it this year. They got on my case and told me to throw the party and make it a potluck. They brought great food, I made the dessert I wanted, and we all had fun playing Apples to Apples together. It was a great way to spend my birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I know there are a lot of people here who are fine getting nothing on special days. Your husband would be fine if you were one of them. Since you aren't, I really think you need to have a heart to heart with him to let him know how much it hurts you. If it still continues, I'd soften the blow by getting my own gift.;). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crafty Mathy Mom Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 I do that sometimes, but it's not really the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crafty Mathy Mom Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 We've had the talk. He just doesn't get it. Most of the time, I'm fine. For some reason, it hurts today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I would be hurt too. I am sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My Dad is like this. My mom got to the point where she buys herself a present, wraps it up and opens it on her birthday. He got her a beautiful Coach bag last year. :001_smile: I have done this. Now my mother or sisters will tell him what to get me. He doesn't ask. They just tell him to go buy me such and such. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Does he expect gifts on his special days? Because that would come to a screeching halt here if he refused to reciprocate. Just sayin'. I like the idea of taking yourself out tonight. When he gets home, inform him that he's giving you a night off for your birthday. Go get a pedicure, hit the bookstore, take yourself out to dinner somewhere nice (at least that's what sounds fun to me. . . adjust to your own specs :D). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trinchick Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Happy birthday! My DH used to be a great gift giver (thoughtful, personal gifts, though not necessarily expensive), but with time and children, this has definitely waned. The icing on the cake (so to speak) came on my 40th birthday this year, when he gave me absolutely nothing. I thought a "big" birthday would result in a gift. To add insult to injury, my birthday is on Valentine's Day. I did the whole stiff upper lip thing in front of the kids and got Chinese food for dinner and made myself a cake. However, a couple of weeks after my birthday when it still bothered me, I decided to tell him so. I didn't do it in a confrontational way at all. I just explained to him that it hurt my feelings and made me feel unappreciated. I was surprised by his answer. He said that I usually say I don't want/need anything, don't want to waste money, etc. And he's right. I do say those things. We agreed that he would return to gift-giving, and I would stop pretending that I don't really want any gifts. He did get me a gift on Mother's Day (new sunglasses, which was thoughtful, since I had just broken a pair). Let's hope he keeps this up! Good luck to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Just to make you feel a wee bit better.....my DH forgot my birthday COMPLETELY this year! It was on a Sunday and he was home and he never once said anything. It was around 10pm and he came to say good night and said, "Is something wrong?" :glare::glare::glare: I burst into tears and he continued with, "What did I do?" :ohmy::ohmy::angry::cursing: But typically I send him links to what I want and I have to spell it out for him VERY clearly as to what I want!~ Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Figure out why getting a gift is so important to you and then come up with another way to have that need met? Sometimes we are raised with certain beliefs that are so core to how we were brought up that they take on great significance. Then we encounter someone with a different set of priorities and there is a class. For instance, my family did BIG Christmas- but focussing on it being ON the 25th was never an issue. For my MIL the actual date on the calendar is an issue and that has led to a lot of strife over the years. It's very hard for me to understand why we can't all just get along. :glare: Anyway, even though it seems "unfair" and he just just honor your need, that may not happen. So, I would probably work to try to adjust my own expectations. It's easier to change ourselves than to change others, fair or not. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I get it. My birthday is right near Christmas and typically gets skipped in the hustle/bustle of the holiday. I am in the "buy your own present" camp, too. Last year, I told DH that what I wanted for my birthday was a date to go out shopping for a replacement for my wedding band (it got stolen and not having one really bothered me). I needed him to go with me because I wanted to get a used one from a pawn shop but didn't want to hang around those places by myself (scaredy cat!) . He put it on the calendar and then 1500 things came up for him to do that day! But he held tough and pushed them all off. I got my wedding band and was happy. Usually I just ask him to pick up flowers on his way home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dina in Oklahoma Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) :iagree::iagree::iagree: I think you should go out today and buy yourself a present. Just announce, "For my birthday, I'm going to treat myself. I'll be out getting dinner and a birthday present for myself. You guys have fun here tonight!" I'd be cheerful and make this a tradition. Same with Christmas. If you don't like shopping, plan ahead and order something online. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's about what you need, not what he feels like doing! And . . . HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :party::party: Edited June 25, 2012 by Dina in Oklahoma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 How do you get over it? BY TAKING ACTION OF SOME SORT!!! If it were me, and my dh did that, I'd go out and spend too much money on something I really wanted. Then I'd tell him I am tired of talking nicely about what I want and need from him and getting no action. Therefore, I am upping the ante. Literally. If he's going to continue to disregard my needs, it's gonna hurt his wallet WAY more than if he applied himself and bought me a gift. But that's me thinking about my dh and me and our personalities and that would get the point across clearly, since I'm usually so tight with money. So, think about what wouldn't escalate into a war (because with different personalities what I wrote above surely could), and what would really make you feel OK. Then DO IT! (I like LemonPie's idea too!!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pie Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Happy Birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 :grouphug: Happy Birthday. My husband's father was the same way. Didn't celebrate birthdays or anniversaries. I had to train my hubby in the importance of these days. Birthday - celebrating you who is the mom of his children. Without you, he wouldn't have them. Without you, he wouldn't have the clean house and food on the table. Without you, well... Same with anniversaries. I usually announce a couple weeks before the event, the name of the event and hand him a list of things I would like. Hubby says it spoils the surprise but actually it doesn't because he gets to pick the item off the list. My son doesn't like to go shopping so I'll generally go onto amazon with him show him a few things I want and ask him which one he wants to get me and order it. Train your children now and don't let them be like your husband. I know you love him so its hard not to buy them stuff for their birthday, etc when they are being, well, selfish. Go buy yourself something really nice, something you really want. Really treat yourself (hint expensive if you all can afford it). Then give him a kiss and say thank you honey. It's just what I wanted. Men think differently so it doesn't work to guilt trip them into anything and it doesn't work not to say anything at all. You have to be very direct. They don't pick up on hints well. And if you say, aw you don't have to get me anything, they will take you seriously. So throw yourself a party with your kids or like someone else said - take the night off and go have some fun with a girlfriend. Let them all fend for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Aw, happy birthday!! I'm really sorry you are hurting today. I'm not really sure what I would do in your shoes. I am sure you are a wonderful mom and wife, and it has nothing to do with your self worth!! Some people are just made differently I guess. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 :grouphug: If I were you, besides treating myself to something, I would work at training ds *not* to be like his dad in this case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Happy Birthday!! I am sorry you are hurting on your special day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Today is my birthday, and dh didn't get me anything. Again. He doesn't "do gifts". I'm used to it, but I'm still disappointed. It doesn't matter what the occasion is. It really stinks on Christmas morning.:crying: It's not like I didn't get anything for my birthday. My mom came yesterday and brought Chinese takeout. She also gave me a gift card and a 24 variety pack of Sharpies. Dd 12 made and decorated a cake for me. Dd 6 made a book of drawings. Ds, well he takes after his father.:glare: Thanks for letting me whine. 24 pack of Sharpies! :drool5::svengo: I am so jealous! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!:party:\ OK, so DH doesn't "do" birthdays. is it a religious thing? (I grew up with a girl whose family/religion didn't celebrate birthdays.) Is it a $$$ thing? What does he want on his birthday? And most importantly, does he know how you feel about it? Do you want a gift- even if you sent him out with a shopping list, or do you want him to remember/care about birthdays and gifts on his own? If it;s the first one, you might just need to plan a shopping day for DH & the kids and tell him what you'd like. if it's the second, that might be harder, and could you be happy enough with the first? See now, i don't do store-bought cards. Spending $4.99 on a card to stick on a $10 gift is just insane. Even for Christmas, the grannies get the same 4x8 photo card that i send to everybody. I'm sure someone who believes in Hallmark commercials is angry with me...:glare: And about Christmas morning: i read this idea somewhere; Have a stocking exchange with a friend. You each fill the other;s stocking, and set a price range. Stockings are the best part, for me. I even buy myself stuff and toss it in. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SamanthaS Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My dad was like this. Just take a break and go do something special for yourself. It will do you good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I know there are a lot of people here who are fine getting nothing on special days. Your husband would be fine if you were one of them. Since you aren't, I really think you need to have a heart to heart with him to let him know how much it hurts you. If it still continues, I'd soften the blow by getting my own gift.;). This is would I would do in your shoes. I'd be furious if dh forgot my birthday and didn't do something for it. It would only be excusable once, if it were not a habit in his family growing up... after the first time of explaining the importance, there would be an expectation. Part of that though is leading by example on his birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 This is would I would do in your shoes. I'd be furious if dh forgot my birthday and didn't do something for it. It would only be excusable once, if it were not a habit in his family growing up... after the first time of explaining the importance, there would be an expectation. Part of that though is leading by example on his birthday. :iagree: This would be one of those issues in my marriage. If my DH were to blithely disregard that a birthday/holiday present really mattered to me, we'd be in serious trouble. For me, it wouldn't be about the gift; it would be about your DH not being willing to go a little out of his way to get a present when he knows it's an issue for you. Marriage is sometimes a dance between each partner's emotional needs, and to me it sounds like on this issue your DH is not valuing your feelings about this. I'll be a little harsh here. Wanting a birthday present from a spouse is not an unreasonable thing. Refusing to get anything even when it distresses your partner to the point that she's posting about it on a message board is unreasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 :party: I know it's not the same as it would be coming from your husband, but "Happy Birthday!!". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My Dad is like this. My mom got to the point where she buys herself a present, wraps it up and opens it on her birthday. He got her a beautiful Coach bag last year. :001_smile: That's exactly what I'd do. And I'd sign the card from dh and then thank him for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 :grouphug: Happy Birthday!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Happy Birthday Jamie! I'm sorry you feel disappointed. No one likes to feel that way at any time, especially on their birthday! My gift to you is permission to go out and buy yourself a gift. I understand it's not the same thing, but do it anyway. Then come home and tell your DH, "This is what you bought me. Thank you so much, I love it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My b'day is coming and odds are hubby won't get me anything or will get something I really don't want. That is how he was raised, alas. I got The Artist on Blue Ray (it came today - yippee!) for myself as my present. :-) Might add - after 24 years of marriage I still do get him decent, thoughtful gifts for his b'day. He just doesn't get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crafty Mathy Mom Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 Does he expect gifts on his special days? Because that would come to a screeching halt here if he refused to reciprocate. Just sayin'. I like the idea of taking yourself out tonight. When he gets home, inform him that he's giving you a night off for your birthday. Go get a pedicure, hit the bookstore, take yourself out to dinner somewhere nice (at least that's what sounds fun to me. . . adjust to your own specs :D). No, he doesn't expect gifts. He appreciates gifts, but he's not excited about them. Dh works 2nd shift, so he won't be home until after midnight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 No, he doesn't expect gifts. He appreciates gifts, but he's not excited about them. Dh works 2nd shift, so he won't be home until after midnight. Well I hope you and the kids have a WONDERFUL dinner! Where are you going to go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Happy Birthday, and don't stay upset go and buy yourself something nice. I buy and wrap (well, brighton does the wrapping) for most birthdays. DH does not mind at all. It makes it easier for him, he really does not like shopping unless he knows exactly what he's getting, and I always appreciate and love what he gets me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomandlorih Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My Dad is like this. My mom got to the point where she buys herself a present, wraps it up and opens it on her birthday. He got her a beautiful Coach bag last year. :001_smile: LOL My MIL does this too:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 :grouphug: Happy Birthday! My DH is the same. He was brought up in a spartan household. His mother simply didn't want to be bothered with anything - celebrating birthdays or Christmas, buying gifts, etc. I'm still not over Mother's Day and you would think after 25 years of marriage I would be used to it. But it stings. Bad. And buying my own gifts just never cuts it, as it makes me feel empty. (Plus, I know I can go buy whatever I wanted w/o needing it to be a 'gift.') :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Happy Birthday! I think it's time for a heart to heart with the fellow. He needs to know that it hurts when he doesn't remember your special days. Honestly, if my husband forgot ...his American Express would get a very big workout that day. ;) It's not about the size or amount of the gift...it's the thought! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) No, he doesn't expect gifts. He appreciates gifts, but he's not excited about them. Dh works 2nd shift, so he won't be home until after midnight. Happy Birthday! Frankly I don't care how they feel about birthdays themselves, others like to be acknowledged, because it's important to them. It's about the other person, not him...and so many times people give the guys an out for this. It doesn't take anything to make someone feel special. He could at least give you a great acknowlegment with a, "where would you like to go to dinner tonite?" or "I'm taking you out." That's such a turn-off to me that since they don't think they're a big deal you shouldn't either. It's total cop-out. My dh's birthday was yesterday. It's so difficult to buy for each other, so we go out and buy our own presents and have the other wrap it. I made him a cake and got a card, dd made him a card. I had him do no work, only what he wanted all day. It doesn't take much to make someone feel good, you know? I'd go ritzy....with a good friend, because you're worth it and send him the bill. Edited June 25, 2012 by alilac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Jamie!!! H*A*P*P*Y B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y*!*! It's my dh's bday today too. :grouphug: :party: :party: :party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I agree with the others...I have had those horrific feel sorry for myself birthdays....something rather appealing to throwing a pity party...NOT!! ALL my family forgot my 16th birthday....at least Molly Ringwald's mom remembered before the day ended!! Then all my family forgot my 40th birthday!! Granted we were on vacation and you lose track of time, but STILL!!!! I promise that if they forget my birthday THIS year, that I will go buy myself three things I never would...one will be from husband and the other two from the kids...I will PAY to have them wrapped....I will buy myself a cake!! I will even order a bouquet of balloons for myself and WE all will celebrate this wonderful day...then I will hand all of my immediate family a birthday game...they will receive a card that they have to fill out within 10 minutes (while I'm putting 45 candles on my cake)...they must list 5 reasons why their lives are different because I was born!! Any answers that are 'duplicated' get ruled out..the one who has the most answers remaining gets a prize. (A calendar with my mug on the date for my special day)...we will celebrate, there will be no self pity and hopefully, one birthday like that will convince them to get off their lazy duffs and do it the next year! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crafty Mathy Mom Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes. Your kindness means a lot. So here's what I did to end my pity party: 1) Ordered a Kindle Fire. I've been wanting one. It's been sitting in my cart for months. 2) Dd 12 and I are going to the $1 summer movie tomorrow while dh takes the other two to their dentist appointment. He'll have to get up 30 minutes early, but I don't care. 3) Bought a Groupon to a nice Italian restaurant. 4) I talked to my sil (dh's sister-she said she'll have a word with him). The kids will spend the night at her house one night next week so we can go on a date at the aforementioned restaurant. 5) Talked to dh on the phone. I told him about my disappointment with my birthday and the stuff I've done. I also made the proclamation that he will dress up for our date ie. not shorts and a t-shirt. Anything else I need to do before the day is done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Woods Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes. Your kindness means a lot. So here's what I did to end my pity party: 1) Ordered a Kindle Fire. I've been wanting one. It's been sitting in my cart for months. 2) Dd 12 and I are going to the $1 summer movie tomorrow while dh takes the other two to their dentist appointment. He'll have to get up 30 minutes early, but I don't care. 3) Bought a Groupon to a nice Italian restaurant. 4) I talked to my sil (dh's sister-she said she'll have a word with him). The kids will spend the night at her house one night next week so we can go on a date at the aforementioned restaurant. 5) Talked to dh on the phone. I told him about my disappointment with my birthday and the stuff I've done. I also made the proclamation that he will dress up for our date ie. not shorts and a t-shirt. Anything else I need to do before the day is done? spa day! I like your revenge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes. Your kindness means a lot. So here's what I did to end my pity party: 1) Ordered a Kindle Fire. I've been wanting one. It's been sitting in my cart for months. 2) Dd 12 and I are going to the $1 summer movie tomorrow while dh takes the other two to their dentist appointment. He'll have to get up 30 minutes early, but I don't care. 3) Bought a Groupon to a nice Italian restaurant. 4) I talked to my sil (dh's sister-she said she'll have a word with him). The kids will spend the night at her house one night next week so we can go on a date at the aforementioned restaurant. 5) Talked to dh on the phone. I told him about my disappointment with my birthday and the stuff I've done. I also made the proclamation that he will dress up for our date ie. not shorts and a t-shirt. Anything else I need to do before the day is done? Good work mama! Confiscate his smartphone and put in alerts for the dental appt and restaurant dates? :D Enjoy the Kindle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 My mom got to the point where she buys herself a present, wraps it up and opens it on her birthday. He got her a beautiful Coach bag last year. :iagree: I have no problem picking out my dh's gift to me on my bday. :D This year my dh brought home a peach pie (I hate peach pie especially cheap ones from the grocery store), milk chocolate bars (same reaction as with the peach pie) and something else that was so obviously unmeaningful I cannot remember what it was. My bday stank, pure and simple. And even though I know to expect it, it still stings. Especially when I planned a nice overnight for my dh's bday (without dc/babies along even!). :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 In his case, it's not that he doesn't want to give me something, just that he's often stumped (I'm not dressy and don't have many material wants). He writes a list for me too. I usually get him one thing that he asked for and one surprise - you might not get the surprise from your husband, but a list might lead to his getting you something. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes. Your kindness means a lot. So here's what I did to end my pity party: 1) Ordered a Kindle Fire. I've been wanting one. It's been sitting in my cart for months. 2) Dd 12 and I are going to the $1 summer movie tomorrow while dh takes the other two to their dentist appointment. He'll have to get up 30 minutes early, but I don't care. 3) Bought a Groupon to a nice Italian restaurant. 4) I talked to my sil (dh's sister-she said she'll have a word with him). The kids will spend the night at her house one night next week so we can go on a date at the aforementioned restaurant. 5) Talked to dh on the phone. I told him about my disappointment with my birthday and the stuff I've done. I also made the proclamation that he will dress up for our date ie. not shorts and a t-shirt. Anything else I need to do before the day is done? Oh that's nice you took action! Don't let him use the Kindle Fire. :D I forgot about my wedding anniversary this month and also forgot how many years I've been married, so that seems worse. Sometimes these things happen. I'm glad DH didn't go out to get something like, oh I dunno, a red sports car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I would much rather have a DH who acts like yours at birthdays than my DH who buys some stupid gift picked out by a random saleslady. At least with your DH you could say, "Honey, tomorrow is my birthday. I am taking your credit card to go buy me a little something." Then you could get what you want. Happy birthday. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 How do you get over it? BY TAKING ACTION OF SOME SORT!!! If it were me, and my dh did that, I'd go out and spend too much money on something I really wanted. Then I'd tell him I am tired of talking nicely about what I want and need from him and getting no action. Therefore, I am upping the ante. Literally. If he's going to continue to disregard my needs, it's gonna hurt his wallet WAY more than if he applied himself and bought me a gift. But that's me thinking about my dh and me and our personalities and that would get the point across clearly, since I'm usually so tight with money. So, think about what wouldn't escalate into a war (because with different personalities what I wrote above surely could), and what would really make you feel OK. Then DO IT! (I like LemonPie's idea too!!!) :iagree: The whole "I don't do gifts" is a cop out and way to avoid the issue entirely. I'd make it so much easier for him to just get the gift. That means spending copious amounts of money for a thoughtful gift (or multiple gifts) for myself. I'd also take the kids out to dinner (early) at a nice place and I'd buy myself a birthday cake. I'd have flowers ordered too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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