*LC Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 My parents recently went on a cruise where they watched a bride & groom taking pictures on the beach. The wedding dress' train was messed up by the sand/water. I guess in the discussion of this, someone on the cruise mentioned it was okay, because now the big thing is to have a "trash the wedding dress party" a few days after the wedding. My parents were aghast at the thought. Anybody ever heard of something like this? My guess is that if there is such a trend, the Hive will know about it. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I 've never heard of that. :confused: I still have my dress. (it is a little stained because I never got it cleaned after the wedding.):blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtoamiracle Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 yes, it's all the rage now. My best friend is a photographer - she has done "trash the dress" photos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GAPeachie Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 A photography friend regularly is asked to shoot trash dress shoots. Crazy to me. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I'm curious now, how do they destroy the dress? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I've done TTD sessions for brides and after-prom, but I've never heard of a party for it. It's always been me and the bride/groom or the young lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I haven't heard of a party to do it but I've seen the photos. The couple I have in mind went out to a lake and had gorgeous pictures taken IN the water with the dress ON. Beautiful photos and certain to make memories. Would I do it? No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Never seen it or heard of it. I find it a little sad. Women used to pull out their wedding dresses to show to their granddaughters. Shows how un-trendy I am! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 What on earth is the purpose of trashing the dress? After having bought a dress for my daughter this week--in $20 bills, no joke, but that's a whole 'nother story--I'd wring her neck if she trashed it!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstenH Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I think I'd rather show the awesome pictures to my granddaughters than the actual dress. I still have my dress in a closet ... I never got it cleaned after the wedding, so I'm almost afraid to open the bag. I'm tempted, though. It could be fun to do a vow renewal followed by a dress-trashing photoshoot on a beach somewhere for our tenth anniversary. It's a gorgeous dress, but I don't have any daughters, and even if I did, what are the odds they'd want to wear my dress, or that it would fit? I don't know what I'm saving it for other than knowing it's there in my closet if I want to see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 (edited) I have heard of this. It's becoming more and more popular. The reason behind it is to get some really cool photographs of the bride in her dress, along with not saving her dress. It doesn't have to "trash" the dress. It's more for getting some fun photos of the bride in the dress. Here are some examples: http://newlyweds.about.com/od/afterthewedding/tp/trashthedress.htm There are very few brides that wear their mother's or granddaughter's dress. Most brides want to purchase their own dress that is their style. ETA: It's been interesting to read on this thread about all those that are disgusted by this and think the dress should be donated instead. However, the dress is the bride's to do with as she pleases. She is the one that bought and paid for it. Why should she donate it, if she doesn't want to? I still have my dress. I bought it and it's mine. I have the right to do with as I please and I didn't care to donate it, so someone else could buy it cheaply. Just as many on her don't understand the concept of some photos, I don't understand the mentality of passing my dress along to someone that is in "need" of it. Edited May 6, 2012 by mom2samlibby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 There are plenty of poor people who would very much like a free wedding dress if someone didn't want their old one. Not only is it wasteful to trash something like that, but I think it is selfish as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 trash the dress photo shoot yes, but I've never heard of a party for it, I would guess they misheard that part. I do think it's kind of wasteful and the pictures are not that great. I don't have daughters and I have my wedding dress in a bag to go to Goodwill, once had it as far as the trunk, but I can't seem to make the final decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 There are plenty of poor people who would very much like a free wedding dress if someone didn't want their old one. Not only is it wasteful to trash something like that, but I think it is selfish as well. This is exactly what I was thinking. Why wouldn't the brides give away the dress or sell it on if they don't want to keep it? They are being extremely wasteful. I don't still have mine, but only because it was a $60 off-the-rack white tank dress from the Limited. I wore it when dh and I went out to dinner for our first anniversary and accidentally spilled ice cream on it. I would never have intentionally trashed it, even with it costing only $60. Considering how much money some women spend on their wedding dresses (in the thousands), I can't even imagine trashing them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I'm not sure I understand pictures of the bride by herself after the wedding in the dress or that much focus on the dress itself. I guess it has become about something different than joining two lives together, huh? :D Agreeing with a pp that there are people who would love to have those dresses. I suppose it's a show of affluence to be able to buy something that expensive and then destroy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Yeah, I'd heard about it mainly through my connection to the photography community. It seems completely wasteful to me. Why not donate or even sell the dress so someone else could use it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Man, we are a spoiled nation. We can all afford to trash dresses that average in the 100s if not 1000s of dollars for a nice picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertmum Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I loved my wedding dress. I'll never wear anything as pretty or expensive in my life again. My mother paid good money for it (her gift) and I would never trash it. I don't have any daughters to pass it to and it will probably look too old-fashioned for any granddaughter I may have in the future. But I thought I could recycle the gorgeous fabric and turn it into a bed cover or something -but I certainly would never destroy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 (edited) There are plenty of poor people who would very much like a free wedding dress if someone didn't want their old one. Not only is it wasteful to trash something like that, but I think it is selfish as well. :iagree: They should resell the dress or pass it on to someone who needs it. Surely there are tons of opportunities for beautiful shots of the bride that don't include destruction of the dress. I think I could understand it better if the couple were getting divorced and shots were being done out of vengence or something. Looking at the shots in the link above all the pictures except the one in the sea could have been done without trashing the dress at all. Edited May 6, 2012 by lailasmum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 My big question is what if...... you now know you don't have daughters. On your wedding day your children are in the future. There is a chance that we will love our future dil and give her our dress. It could happen. Considering what my mil relationship was -- unlikely but I can hope.:001_smile: My dd loves my gown in pictures. Assuming it is fine when removed from the preservation box I will be paying for 2 inches off the bottom and who knows what else. I can't wait. My sil is short. Considering my brother is 6 ft tall. She thought the chances of anyone wearing her gown unlikely. Her gown was turned into baptismal gowns for her daughters. Wonderful keepsake. I just can't imagine ruining yards of fabulous fabric for pictures. Makes me so sad to think peaple are so wasteful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 :confused: why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I'm in the "think this is appalling" camp. Wedding dresses, prom dresses, bridesmaids dresses should be given to goodwill or salvation army if all you are going to do s trash it and make it unusable. at the very least there is a large amount of fabric in decent ion that can be refashioned into something else. If the dress is in better condition the joy it will bring another young woman will be far greater than whatever fun someone could manage destroying it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unity Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I also had my gown turned into baptismal gowns. I got three of them out of my dress, and two of them have already been worn twice. I'm pretty certain that they will be worn again, and I suspect my children will fight over them for their kids. I don't think my wedding gown, unaltered, would have had such a great future. My gown was somewhat quirky even at the time, and I think my daughters will enjoy picking out their own gowns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Sad. If they do not want the dress anymore why not cut it up and have a quilt made? Wasteful if you ask me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Man, we are a spoiled nation. We can all afford to trash dresses that average in the 100s if not 1000s of dollars for a nice picture. ' yeah, so much for the US being in a ressession. :confused: I don't understand the connection between the pictures of brides in their dresses after the wedding and "trashing" the dress. Are they really destroying the dress? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElaineJ Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I agree with those who think that this is sad, or maybe even wrong. I certainly hope my daughter doesn't want to do this some day. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 There are plenty of poor people who would very much like a free wedding dress if someone didn't want their old one. Not only is it wasteful to trash something like that, but I think it is selfish as well. :iagree:I've heard of it and I find it very distasteful. Have we become so spoiled and self centered that we can buy an expensive and beautiful item to use one time and, instead of passing it on to someone else who would really appreciate it, ruin it just for fun? It goes against everything I've tried to teach my children about environmental stewardship, money management, charity, and thankfulness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 In the "think it is appalling" camp here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I've seen the trash the dress pictures. They are amazing I must say! The idea itself seems a bit silly, but I think it's something of a release of pent up energy/frustration after spending a year or more planning this big fancy "perfect" wedding with the big fancy "perfect" dress. When it's done you can go have pics taken and not worry at all about keeping things nice or perfect. I do agree there are better things one could do with the dress, though. And perhaps if brides-to-be could let go of a little of the insanity of the wedding itself, there wouldn't be such a need... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 'yeah, so much for the US being in a ressession. :confused: I don't understand the connection between the pictures of brides in their dresses after the wedding and "trashing" the dress. Are they really destroying the dress? Not all pics of the bride after the wedding are destroying the dress. "Trash the dress" pictures usually involve doing things in the dress that are not in keeping with keeping an enormous white confection in good condition, lol. I've seen a lot of standing in the surf at the ocean, or climbing on a tree or pile of rocks, swimming, dragging the cathedral length train on a walk through the woods, etc. Mostly just doing stuff IN the dress that you wouldn't normally do in a wedding gown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Some photos: http://www.divinecaroline.com/22072/83816-trash-dress-wedding-photo-contest While I don't love the tradition, I don't think it is actually much more wasteful than keeping your wedding dress in a box in your closet for decades upon decades so that your heirs can throw it out when they die (which seems to be far more common than dress donation). I think it's great when a daughter can use her mother or grandmother's dress, but I also think that keeping a dress with that plan in mind does seem a bit silly too. You have to have the dress cleaned and preserved, then store it for 20years or more, then hope you have a daughter, that your daughter is a similar size to you, that your daughter gets married, that she's ok with wearing a used wedding gown, and that she actually likes your probably-out-of-style dress. My understanding is that gown-donation places usually want you to have the dress professionally cleaned as well, which basically means you have to pay to donate your dress. My wedding dress was a $10 skirt from Target, so I guess I avoided the drama altogether, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 It's amazing that reselling the dress is not an option. Bizarre. I don't think there's anything required about keeping the dress preserved. But I think it would be better to just rent one, or resell it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MFG Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Reading the thread title, it sounded like a party to celebrate a marriage's end, not its beginning. Regarding the idea of intentionally 'unintentionally' ruining a dress to get some 'great' pictures - Does everyone think they are a contestant on America's Next Top Model? I fear that in 20 years they will find this type of photos as cringeworthy as we now find our dorky wedding pictures from the 70s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I would have loved some active dress pictures. My dh is more attached to my dress than me. I asked him several times over the years if I could donate it, he gets all sentimental. So it sat in a plastic bag taking up half of my coat closet for the last five years. It was never cleaned and it was a cheap (relative to wedding dresses) off the rack nondescript wedding dress. It might be good for a zombie wedding dress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I read an article once about a woman who spent a year or more doing all sorts of things in her bridesmaid's dress in an attempt to live up to the saying that you can wear it again, when most women don't. The intention wasn't to ruin the dress, it was to wear it to do other things, and some of them were kind of funny (like bungee jumping or something). That, to me, was sort of interesting. Maybe this is an extension of that. But I think that was more of a series of activities for an example of living art, and not just a one-shot photo op of doing something ridiculous and messy (throwing paint at each other, changing the oil on the car) in order to mess up the dress or have an example of juxtaposition for a photo. If it's supposed to be a statement about how wasteful it is to have a very expensive dress used only once, one could also wear a less expensive dress or rent a dress, or buy one that could be worn again and then actually rewear it. I find the combination of extremely expensive dress and then purposely getting it very dirty doing something you wouldn't normally do and is not a normal part of your life, to be strange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Some photos:http://www.divinecaroline.com/22072/83816-trash-dress-wedding-photo-contest While I don't love the tradition, I don't think it is actually much more wasteful than keeping your wedding dress in a box in your closet for decades upon decades so that your heirs can throw it out when they die (which seems to be far more common than dress donation). I think it's great when a daughter can use her mother or grandmother's dress, but I also think that keeping a dress with that plan in mind does seem a bit silly too. You have to have the dress cleaned and preserved, then store it for 20years or more, then hope you have a daughter, that your daughter is a similar size to you, that your daughter gets married, that she's ok with wearing a used wedding gown, and that she actually likes your probably-out-of-style dress. My understanding is that gown-donation places usually want you to have the dress professionally cleaned as well, which basically means you have to pay to donate your dress. My wedding dress was a $10 skirt from Target, so I guess I avoided the drama altogether, lol. Maybe I'm hopeless, but I also think getting nice photos sounds like a better way to ruin a dress than letting moths eat it in your closet. I also didn't wear a formal wedding gown when I was married, so I have trouble with the notion that "poor people" are suffering from a sudden lack of donated wedding gowns because of this trend. I'm pretty sure the waste in a typical wedding (where someone will pay hundreds/thousands of dollars for their dress) doesn't start and end with what happens to the dress when it's over. I just can't get worked up over this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 No one else can where my dress. It was made specifically for me, curvy spine and all. I don't have delusions that my grandchildren will wear it- they won't. But I do have fond memories of trying on my mom's dress and I look forward to letting my girls try on my dress. They're almost old enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nertsmommy Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Two years ago I "trashed" my mom's wedding dress and mine and also my prom gowns. I cut them up and made play gowns for my little girl for Christmas. My mom's gown was from the 70's and I made mine so it didn't bother me to do that. I also picked up some gowns from the Goodwill on .25 day and made other princess dresses for her. If I had spent a ton of money on my gown I don't think I could have done that though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Bizarre! :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Two years ago I "trashed" my mom's wedding dress and mine and also my prom gowns. I cut them up and made play gowns for my little girl for Christmas. My mom's gown was from the 70's and I made mine so it didn't bother me to do that. I also picked up some gowns from the Goodwill on .25 day and made other princess dresses for her. If I had spent a ton of money on my gown I don't think I could have done that though. You didn't trash them. You recycled them for other uses. Very commendable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I think I'd rather show the awesome pictures to my granddaughters than the actual dress. I still have my dress in a closet ... I never got it cleaned after the wedding, so I'm almost afraid to open the bag. I'm tempted, though. It could be fun to do a vow renewal followed by a dress-trashing photoshoot on a beach somewhere for our tenth anniversary. It's a gorgeous dress, but I don't have any daughters, and even if I did, what are the odds they'd want to wear my dress, or that it would fit? I don't know what I'm saving it for other than knowing it's there in my closet if I want to see it. :iagree::iagree: I have 2 sons and am unlikely to have a daughter. I still have my mom's wedding dress hanging out in my closet (from what, 40 years ago??) and until recently mine was in there as well (from 12 years ago). I finally dug mine out and tried to sell it (CHEAP!!) and couldn't get anyone interested enough to actually buy it, so I gave it away to a charity. I like donating and all, but I felt irritated about the "need" to give it away - it represented something very special to me and I wanted to be able to directly hand it to someone (even for free, or close to it) and see the joy on their faces & know it would mean something to them. I tried (the charity lady thought her daughter might use it) and failed (it was too small for her) and gave up! :( The only reason my mom's is still around is because it folds up super-flat & I don't really know what to do with it! I certainly wasn't interested in using it - not my style AT ALL - but what now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 You didn't trash them. You recycled them for other uses. Very commendable. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I have 2 sons and am unlikely to have a daughter. I still have my mom's wedding dress hanging out in my closet (from what, 40 years ago??) and until recently mine was in there as well (from 12 years ago). I finally dug mine out and tried to sell it (CHEAP!!) and couldn't get anyone interested enough to actually buy it, so I gave it away to a charity. I like donating and all, but I felt irritated about the "need" to give it away - it represented something very special to me and I wanted to be able to directly hand it to someone (even for free, or close to it) and see the joy on their faces & know it would mean something to them. I tried (the charity lady thought her daughter might use it) and failed (it was too small for her) and gave up! :( I think the key is to donate or sell them right away, since styles change so much. Our local charity thrift shop advertises the wedding dresses they get on their sign out front including the size, and they are snapped up. I assume they make a nice profit, which goes to a good cause. If I had worn a fancy gown (I eloped in a simple white summer dress,) I would have donated it, because I wouldn't want it hanging in my closet, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 :iagree::iagree: I have 2 sons and am unlikely to have a daughter. I still have my mom's wedding dress hanging out in my closet (from what, 40 years ago??) and until recently mine was in there as well (from 12 years ago). I finally dug mine out and tried to sell it (CHEAP!!) and couldn't get anyone interested enough to actually buy it, so I gave it away to a charity. I like donating and all, but I felt irritated about the "need" to give it away - it represented something very special to me and I wanted to be able to directly hand it to someone (even for free, or close to it) and see the joy on their faces & know it would mean something to them. I tried (the charity lady thought her daughter might use it) and failed (it was too small for her) and gave up! :( The only reason my mom's is still around is because it folds up super-flat & I don't really know what to do with it! I certainly wasn't interested in using it - not my style AT ALL - but what now? IMO, the difference is that we're talking about current dresses in current styles. If the brides know that they're not going to want to box up their dresses to save, I'd imagine it would be very easy to find a taker for a practically brand new dress. Put me in the "appalling" camp. I do think we're a very spoiled nation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Put me in the "appalling" camp. I do think we're a very spoiled nation. :iagree: It sounds horribly wasteful. I still have my dress. It is hopelessly out of style (from 1989). 19yo dd and I were talking recently about how she might update it for her wedding. Basically, remove the big puffy sleeves! Anyway she doesn't even have a boyfriend at this point so no wedding in the near future - but it was fun to talk about. And she loves to remake clothes, so it would be fun for her. (someone asked her once, "where do you get your fashion style?" b/c it's so unique. She said, "Um, Goodwill?") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 (edited) Maybe I'm hopeless, but I also think getting nice photos sounds like a better way to ruin a dress than letting moths eat it in your closet. But did you look at the link? They weren't "nice photos". Most of them were awful. No artistic merit. Many of them weren't even original - jumping into a pool seems to be a common theme. Edited to add: I looked at another link - the one from "kara pennington" photography. She actually had some pretty photos of brides in unusual settings, such as an old pick up truck. But you don't have to trash your dress to have those photos done! Edited May 6, 2012 by OC Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmoe Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I thought perhaps the party mentioned was for a lady getting a divorce! I thought she was trashing her wedding dress as a symbol of how she felt about her wedding/marriage. My wedding dress was expensive (for me). I love it. It symbolizes so much that I would never want to just trash it. I have saved it to make into dresses and vests for my grandbabies to wear for their baby blessings. Or perhaps for something for one of my children's weddings. Looking at the trash the wedding pictures, I don't understand the purpose. The pictures have nothing to do with the wedding, the groom, or their marriages. If I wanted pictures like those, I would buy an inexpensive thrift store dress to destroy! Have some artist pictures taken that have nothing to do with your wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 We played dress-up in my mother's dress for years. (She is tiny and the dress was tea-length.) When my sister got married, we took the sheer, embroidered skirt overlay from my mom's dress and made it into the bodice overlay of my sister's dress. We never could have found that fabric or anything like it on the current market. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I've heard of it, but only in terms of divorce. I think my cousin did this the day her divorce was finalized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 to get some 'great' pictures - Does everyone think they are a contestant on America's Next Top Model? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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