When do you stop putting your kids to bed?

[Plucky]

I was reading a thread and someone mentioned that they don't put their kids to bed as their youngest is 11. My youngest is 11, and my 14,13, & 11 insist on me going to their room, kissing them goodnight, and saying I love you and the other things we say. My oldest goes to bed after me and is on his own schedule.

 

So what ages do you stop this?

[~Tara~]

I've never put them to bed either. Once they are finished nursing and go to bed w/o me, they are included in our family goodnight session. Everybody change, brush, we pray, round of hugs/kisses, off to rooms...goodnight. :)

 

It was so cute to see my little 2 yr old, in his footie pajamas, toddle off upstairs, following his big brothers to bed. *sniff*

[Tap]

My kids probably stopped that around age 7,8 or 9 or so. I will still stop by their rooms most of the time to say an extra 'goodnight' but for the most part they come to me and let me know they are going to bed, or just put themselves there.

 

It wasn't really a specific date or age that we stopped, they just stopped asking. I think it may be around the age when they start going to bed a bit early to read a book or such. I still tuck in dd5, because when I put her to bed, she is going to sleep and it is 'lights out' time.

 

We also don't have specific bedtimes after the age of 10 or so, so that may have something to do with it.

[Plucky]

Interesting. I was never put to bed. I wonder if we are doing something from dh's childhood. I sometimes think youngest is going to be asking me to put her to bed until she's 29.

[Dolphin]

My dh has always put both kids to bed and still does. He argues that I get them all day. First the 4 year old comes in (in her pj's) and says goodnight to me and then daddy reads her 3 books and tucks her in. An hour later I get ds 9 saying goodnight, and then dh reads aloud to him and tucks him in. They just finished the Hobbit and are now reading Coral Island.

 

My mom always came to my room and said goodnight until I left for college. When I was younger it was to tuck me in, during my teen years it was when she was heading to bed. I liked it. It was a nice time away from my siblings that I could say "Hey mom" and talk to her about anything that was bothering me.

[Ailaena]

I still put dd16 to bed...

 

And sometimes we even read a story:leaving:

 

 

 

 

Hey, I'm not going to be able to do this forever, I'm taking full advantage of every opportunity!:tongue_smilie:

[Plucky]

My dh has always put both kids to bed and still does. He argues that I get them all day. First the 4 year old comes in (in her pj's) and says goodnight to me and then daddy reads her 3 books and tucks her in. An hour later I get ds 9 saying goodnight, and then dh reads aloud to him and tucks him in. They just finished the Hobbit and are now reading Coral Island.

 

My mom always came to my room and said goodnight until I left for college. When I was younger it was to tuck me in, during my teen years it was when she was heading to bed. I liked it. It was a nice time away from my siblings that I could say "Hey mom" and talk to her about anything that was bothering me.

 

When my dh is home in the evening it is his job, but mostly mine. I think my kids associate it with being loved.

 

A number of times I've had one of my girls up talking to me for hours at night over something, even sleeping with me, so they don't always stay in bed. :001_smile:

 

I just heard from my dh. It's his family tradition.

[sgo95]

I tuck all the kids in after story time. My oldest is 9.5 and is the one most insistent on our bedtime ritual, especially hugs and kisses. For some reason, it hadn't occurred to me until I saw this post that this might end in the future :crying:.

[Murphy101]

Oh my. About 4 years old.

 

At bedtime, they all come to me for a blessing/hug/kiss good night, then they go read in bed. About 30 minutes later, I shout out for lights out.

 

The toddlers are read to by various members of the house, including myself.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I still put them to bed and probably will for a while. We do our read aloud on the couch in the living room before bed, then they go upstairs and get jammies on and brush teeth. When I get up there, I tuck them in with a "kiss and hug" routine- although ds2 just wants me to blow him the kisses if I've eaten garlic that day.:lol:. If they can talk him into it, dh will lie down with them and tell them a bonus story in bed. He's made up a couple of on-going stories and tells them in installments.

 

Ds1 just turned 9, and he's really into the good night routine. I can see it going into early teenhood.

[GWOB]

We still put all of our kids to bed every night. Hey, they're only young once.

[lynn]

When they are old enough to stay up later than I do.

[MamaT]

We probably stopped doing that at about 8 or 9. We all go to bed at around 10:00, and give goodnight kisses and hugs before we head to our own rooms.

[GinaPagnato]

We still put our 12 and 9 year olds to bed. They don't "feel right" if they don't have a story from whatever read aloud we're doing, prayers, and kisses in bed. Sometimes it makes me batty b/c by 9:30 I'm just done. But, soon enough they'll be teenagers and won't need that sort of comforting. I think. :tongue_smilie:

[enviromommy]

I was reading a thread and someone mentioned that they don't put their kids to bed as their youngest is 11. My youngest is 11, and my 14,13, & 11 insist on me going to their room, kissing them goodnight, and saying I love you and the other things we say. My oldest goes to bed after me and is on his own schedule.

 

So what ages do you stop this?

 

My 12 and 10 year-olds (siggie is a bit out of date) still CANNOT handle it if I do not tuck them in every night. Bedtime is a long and exhausting proposition around here, LOL. Unlike what I expected in larger families, the littles do NOT want their older siblings to do anything for them. I bathe the three youngest, two oldest take showers, then I read to the littles, tuck them in, then I read to the olders, tuck them in. I don't foresee this ending any time soon. If I'm not home, they manage to deal with Daddy, but if I'm home and trying to work downstairs, forget it. They want MOMMY.

[Chris in VA]

I still put dd to bed, but she has a loft bed now, so there's no more "sit on the bed, say prayers, pull covers over her, kiss goodnight." It's more of a hug before she climbs her ladder, take her glasses for her to put on her dresser, and tell her to sleep well and say her prayers.

I miss her lower bed!

 

I don't remember when we stoppped tucking in our sons. We do say goodnight before we go upstairs to whomever is still up, tho.

[TN Mama]

I was just wondering the other day at what ages people stopped tucking in their children. We're still putting our kids to bed here. Sometimes oldest dd will continue to read after being tucked in, but we still go in, kiss goodnight, say prayers, etc.

[sparrow]

We still go in, give a kiss on the head, and say goodnight to each kid. They often stay up for hours after to read. They are 11 and 10 years old.

[NicAnn]

Never! I think bedtime is the best time to share real dreams, hopes, fears, etc. We do our night time reading on the couch, but then I lay with dd in her bed for 5 minutes or so just to talk about the day. It's a good way for us to reestablish the connect, particularly after a hard day.

[MomatHWTK]

It depends on the child here. One almost always wants to be tucked in; one is fine with a hug on the fly as long as his blankets aren't messed up; one likes to be tucked in but will go without if it means going to bed ealier than desired.

[Joker]

We still put our 12 and 9 yr old to bed. Dh reads for a half hour then we both give hugs/kisses, dh prays, and we leave them to read on their own for 45 minutes. Then we tell them lights out. We'll probably keep doing it until they stay up later than we do.

[In the Rain]

We put our kids (7 &10) to bed. It never occurred to me that kids could put themselves to bed every night. :001_huh: I guess I never thought about it. :tongue_smilie:

 

If dh and I are watching a movie, older dd will offer to put younger dd to bed. Younger dd loves it because her sister sings to her. I haven't done that since she was little. On rare occasions, they put themselves to bed.

[serene]

My girls are 15 & 18, and I still stop in their room after they are in their beds to kiss them good night. They (& my husband!) would still love if I could read aloud to them, but that's not possible because of neurological issues. Next year dd18 will be off to college, but I expect I'll 'tuck her in' whenever she's home. :001_smile: It's just a special few minutes at the end of the day that we all enjoy. As long as they're asking, I'm willing. :D

[lailasmum]

Well my 7 yr old has just been going upstairs to bed on her own for a while, I just tell her it's bedtime and she goes off and takes care of herself. Doesn't always work but mostly does. I generally have to shout up to tell her to turn her light out. When dh is here he does long bedtime with stories but generally they end up going to bed too late in my opinion. I don't tend to read to them just before bed I am not an evening person and generally can't see straight of an evening and they get a bit narky when you fall asleep mid scentence repeatedly.

 

The 3 yr old is always around me until he goes to sleep, he doesn't sleep a lot and we are co-sleeping most of the time so he tends to go to sleep when I do.

Edited February 13, 2012 by lailasmum

[Farrar]

This is really interesting. I put my 7 yos to bed. It's funny because it's not so much a question of independence like many things, but personality and culture.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I still put ds14 to bed. Well, "put to bed" might be too strong a word. At light's out, at his request, I still go in and we talk for a few minutes about the day - nothing too heavy but still a quiet time to talk. I still sing to him because he likes it and I give him a kiss good night. He's still free to then read some before going to sleep or to listen to music.

 

ETA: I forgot to mention dd10. She still wants me to come in. We talk while I braid her hair (something I learned to do on this forum). She's not so interested in a song still so that is being phased out for her. We still hug and kiss good night.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Jean in Newcastle

[dragons in the flower bed]

I still put dd16 to bed...

 

And sometimes we even read a story:leaving:

 

Hey, I'm not going to be able to do this forever, I'm taking full advantage of every opportunity!:tongue_smilie:

 

I am hoping that we will always have family time in the evenings. I guess eventually we'll have to reschedule our sings though. Sixteen does seem a bit old for lullabies. Maybe we'll just move it out to the living room and do it while not yet in pajamas.

[momto2Cs]

I still put dd16 to bed...

 

And sometimes we even read a story:leaving:

 

 

 

 

Hey, I'm not going to be able to do this forever, I'm taking full advantage of every opportunity!:tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: I tuck my dc in every night after a story. And I will continue to do so as long as possible. Childhood is so short when I really think about it!

[Laura Corin]

When they want me to stop. Calvin and I have lots of hugs at other times (as well as dancing together) but he decided to put himself to bed. Hobbes likes to be put to bed still.

 

Laura

[Sheila in OK]

We still do this, at ages 13 and 11. We switch off who reads to who, but both dh and I have a readaloud going with each child all the time. We've gone through so many great books this way--Narnia, LOTR, Harry Potter, etc. I know they will outgrow it someday but we will do it as long as they want to. For dd 13, sometimes we end up talking more than reading :) but I still love it!

 

We still put our 12 and 9 yr old to bed. Dh reads for a half hour then we both give hugs/kisses, dh prays, and we leave them to read on their own for 45 minutes. Then we tell them lights out. We'll probably keep doing it until they stay up later than we do.

[stripe]

The nurse practitioner seemed, not disturbed, but discouraged me from reading to my son before bed when he was just turning 5 yo. I thought that was a bit weird.

 

My in laws don't put kids to bed. They either fall asleep wherever, or go to bed at the same time as adults. This is normal in their culture. The Nanny would just die! Strangely enough, the kids seem fine.

[jillian]

I still put dd to bed and do not foresee a time when I won't at least go in and say night at some point. My mom read to me every night until she died (I was almost 12). She would read me a chapter of a book or cuddle with me and just talk.

[Embassy]

I don't know. I haven't stopped yet and haven't tried sending them to bed without going through our little routine together.

[Princess Peach]

Bedtime has never been a long, drawn out occasion here. I do go up and hug and kiss my 9 and 8 yo's. Usually I just hug and kiss my 12 yo and he goes off to bed himself. He was about 10 when we stopped tucking him in.

[Retired]

I tucked my boys in, talked and read stories until until they both told me they were to old. This happen with both boys when they hit puberty both were 12. They let me know when they were ready.

 

They are 15 and 18 now but still find me and give me goodnight hug but no I don't go to there rooms anymore. It was sad but I also like seeing the steps my guys have made toward man hood and no more mommy bedtime was one of the first steps

[redsquirrel]

my dh does it. He reads to the boys in the elder son's room. They have books and series they are reading together. My dh reads and the boys play with legos. Then the younger gets tucked in and kissed and the elder can hang out in his room and listen to audio books, play games in itouch etc for about an hour.

 

If the older boy has an evening activity then he just puts himself to bed.

[Tarreymere]

We don't do bedtimes or tucking in, but when the kids announce that they are going to bed Dh sings a lullaby. He has made up a lullaby for each kid, so they each have their own special bedtime song. Sometimes if he is going to be out late, like when he has a gig, the kids will demand that he sing all the lullabies before he leaves so they don't miss their song. If one falls asleep on the couch Dh will carry that one to bed while singing his or her song. It's sweet.

[Farrar]

The nurse practitioner seemed, not disturbed, but discouraged me from reading to my son before bed when he was just turning 5 yo. I thought that was a bit weird.

 

 

 

That's just sad. And knowing how so many parents treat the words of their doctors like gospel, I hate to think how many parents have been discouraged by her from an activity that's educational and bonding with their young children. :(

[Amethyst]

I think I'm the person that OP was talking about with the 11 year old that I don't put to bed. I go into my kids' rooms at night to kiss them and say good-night. But we had people over, and some folks were saying I could use putting the kids to bed as an excuse to get the visitors to leave. But my 11 year old doesn't need help putting her pajamas on. God forbid. She'd be mortified. And she doesn't need my help brushing and flossing either (perfect checkup). So, when I said I don't put her to bed, I wasn't saying I don't go into her room at night, I just didnt' think it would be an effective way to get the visitors to leave.

[Farrar]

Hm... I took "put them to bed" to basically mean tuck them in and possibly read a bedtime story. My 7 yos don't need help with brushing teeth and putting on pj's either! Though sometimes their executive functioning about it leaves a little to be desired.

[Plucky]

Hm... I took "put them to bed" to basically mean tuck them in and possibly read a bedtime story. My 7 yos don't need help with brushing teeth and putting on pj's either! Though sometimes their executive functioning about it leaves a little to be desired.

 

Same here. Oh, and Amethyst. I wasn't judging you by any means. It just made me think about what we do here.

[TheApprentice]

My 11 and 9 year old still get put to bed, along with reading for my 9yo. My 14 year old does like to talk at night, so if I'm still awake (he goes to bed around 11pm during the week, and later on the weekends), that's what we do.

[Virg]

I guess I never really have, at least not since they were tiny and in a bassinet. The twins slept with me all night until they were 7 or 8. So we just all went to bed. Then for a year or two they fell asleep in my bed and I moved them to their own. Now they come in and snuggle for a few minutes and sometimes I read to them, depending on how late it is, then they kiss and hug and go off to their own bed. But I never really went into their room and "tucked them in" like my mom did.

[kewb]

Mine are almost 14 and 11 and they still want the bedtime routine. I will tuck them in for as long as they want me too.

[Brindee]

Well, I'm one of the ones that still does a bedtime routine. It's for me as much as the kids, but they've liked it enough that each night they let dh and I know when they're heading to bed. DH and I go in each room, chat for awhile, then dh says a prayer, then I kiss them goodnight. I may not kiss them goodnight in their room when they come back to visit after they're married :D, but for now it's a tradition we all like.

 

I made up a lullaby-type song for each child also. We don't do those anymore, but they used to love me singing their special song to them! :) Awwww, makes me miss that time....they grow up so fast! :crying: It was , and is still, a special time for us! :001_wub:

[EmilyK]

My 13 year old has put himself to bed since he was 11 or 12. Nowadays I may remind him if it is getting late.

 

I still put my 9 year old to bed. We read, listen to a book on tape or classical music and talk. It is the best time of day to find out if something is bothering him.

 

I work outside the home and it is my favorite time with the kids. Even though my older son doesn't need it anymore I will go in and talk to him, since it is such a great time of day for that for us.

[Gingerbread Mama]

My oldest will be 13 in a few months. The other two are 9 and 8. I still "put them to bed", I guess. They get ready for bed (but I have to remind them to do so), get in bed, then I come in and give them a kiss and tell them goodnight. If I have a lot going on and miss going in to kiss them and say goodnight they always call for me so I don't see this ending soon :) I wouldn't do away with it for the world. They grow up so fast, soon they will be out on their own and I won't be able to kiss them goodnight in their beds!

[gardenmom5]

I don't have a hard and fast age. when the child can put themself to bed so they get enough sleep by the time they have to get up in the morning. by the tween years 'putting them to bed' consisted of telling them to go to bed and they were in charge of putting themself in it.

[didadeewiththree]

My 12 year old still likes me to tuck him in:)

[mrsrevmeg]

We still tuck our kids at night. One night, I was doing something as oldest went to bed so I gave him a hug in the living room and told him goodnight. A little while later I walked by his room and he was just sitting on the edge of the bed. I said, "Son, why aren't you in bed?" He said he was waiting on me to tuck him in. It kind of melted my heart and aggravated me all at the same time. :tongue_smilie: