2squared Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 My 7yo son was paired against a girl in a wrestling tournament today. Naively, I hadn't considered him wrestling a girl as a possibility, and truthfully, I didn't like it. What are your thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldskool Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I answered no. However, my son does spar girls in karate. I think it is the close physical contact of wrestling that makes me uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes, I would let me son wrestle, even if his opponent was a girl. However, I would not let my daughter join a wrestling team. If she wanted a really physical sport, I would have her do martial arts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) No. Food for thought, given the litigious society we live in and the fact that there have been charges that have come out of wrestling re sexual assault, I find it stunning that boys are allowed to wrestle co-ed. Beyond all the other issues which would preclude my allowing this this one would probably be the final thread. Edited January 9, 2012 by pqr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes. I'm assuming at that age they're ability grouped rather than gender / age? I'm also assuming that as they get older and boys bulk up they no longer wrestle opposite gender cos it wouldn't be fair any more. But if I had a girl who could be competitive with males in any sport at any age, yes, I'd let them do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hadassah Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Nope. I'm fairly "feminist" but I strongly believe that my children should learn the difference between appropriate and inappropriate interaction between the genders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 No. I am surprised they had a girl against a boy. My mom runs the provincial office for amateur wrestling here, they never have girls and guys wrestle each other. The girls wrestle girls only, the boys wrestle boys only. That is province wide at any of the big matches. Within individual clubs I am not sure what they do but it is certainly frown upon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 At that age, I don't see why not. It's not a boy-girl thing yet and they're potentially evenly matched. I know so little about wrestling, I think I would trust the judgement of the people setting the matches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeteranMom Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 We are dealing with this right now. Both of my sons, 9 and 10 years old, are in a wrestling club. There is a girl in the club, too. My younger son weighs about the same as her, so he gets paired with her every once in a while. He feels a little awkward about it, but she's a good practice partner. My boys are getting more comfortable with her as time goes on. It wouldn't be what I would want for my daughter, but the fact is that I don't have any control over what another parent decides is best for his/her child. I'm not going to have my sons lose out on learning a sport that they like due to another parent's choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I have two dds and I wouldn't have them in wrestling if it meant doing so against boys. If I had boys, I wouldn't want them wrestling against girls at any age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes. I'm assuming at that age they're ability grouped rather than gender / age? I'm also assuming that as they get older and boys bulk up they no longer wrestle opposite gender cos it wouldn't be fair any more. But if I had a girl who could be competitive with males in any sport at any age, yes, I'd let them do it. :iagree: I was thinking "Yes, until they were older," but then again, once they were old enough where the boys were so much bigger anyway, I highly doubt they'd be pitting them against girls. But when they're young? Little kids, kids who aren't yet teens? Sure, why not? My daughter's in martial arts and has to spar with boys, and every once in a while for fun they get to play "Judo Games" and have to try to do things like get down on their knees or hands and knees (no getting to their feet) and be the first to get their opponent off a mat...it's pretty darn close to wrestling when they play and there are times my daughter (she turned 11 in Oct) has been matched against a boy about her size prob a year younger than her and as far as I could tell, nobody was bothered by it. At 7 no way would it bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Wouldn't bother me. At that age, as long as they're doing it safely, I don't understand what the problem would be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I don't have boys, but my answer would be no. Wrestling involves waaay too much "handsiness" in my opinion. They grab everywhere in wrestling. I would want to teach boys to treat girls more appropriately than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 It's not something I would be interested in my boys doing. However, if I had signed my son up to wrestle and was unaware that he could be paired up with girls I would probably let it go for that match, and even for the rest of the season. Based on their young ages I wouldn't make a big deal about it. Most likely I would look for a different league the following season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Not a chance over here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Nope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Well, my 7 yr old IS a girl, so yes, I'd be comfortable with her wresting one-except that I can't imagine her ever wanting to wrestle. Similarly, I'd also be quite comfortable with a 9-10 yr old boy being her base for cheerleading, as opposed to the 9-10 yr old girls who currently are her bases. Yes, it involves physical contact, but honestly, when you're basing, or flying, you're not thinking about what you're touching-you're thinking about what you're doing. I imagine wrestling is much the same. I also suspect that wrestling for girls might well be like cheer for boys-there are always a few younger brothers who cheer with their sister's team in the U7 age group, but by the time you get to U10, they're gone, and really don't reappear much until high school-and often not until college, and by then, male/female roles are quite definite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinter Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes. I don't see as a boy/girl issue at that age, it's just two kids who want to wrestle. I think pulling your son out of a match, just because the opponent is a girl, would send the wrong message to the girl and her parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauracolumbus Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Back to the poll: We actually faced this issue. My son's team had a girl on it who was very good (she was a 7th grader) and often won by default b/c boys would not wrestle her. My dh, a wrestler, at first wanted dd to wrestle in large part b/c as he says 'most fights end up on the ground' and wrestling is one of the best ways for girls to learn self defense, esp. in cases of rape. However, he was very uncomfortable with it b/c he is completely aware of all the moves legal and illegal that guys can pull on the mat. He eventually decided against it, but I think if it were my dd's passion, we would have probably allowed her. She does do MMA--muy thai and jiu jitsu, which have a lot of similar moves to wrestling and therefore does teach her some important self defense moves. However, MMA is not available to a lot of ppl, and wrestling is often a free ps sport. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy1k Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I actually have some experience with this. My son wrestled last year for a junior high wrestling team. He was in 7th grade and a first year wrestler. He ended up having to wrestle a girl, and LOST due to points. I really thought it would be a huge deal and he would have to add Lost to a GIRL to his list of strange things (including being homeschooled ;) ), but the boys were GREAT to him. They understood, they were kind, they laughed it off. The girl was gracious and darling (it was also her first ever win). He wrestled her again in the season and it was quite obvious that he was stronger and more skilled than her...I believe it was horror that caused the previous loss because he had never even touched a girl before. Anyway, I'd rather he not wrestle girls just because it's pretty intense, but he handled it fine and, had he not decided to quit wrestling, I'm sure he'd handle it maturely any time it came up. He wrestled 104 last year and 120 this year, so lots of girls in his weight class. Luckily for him, he only had to wrestle the one girl, though.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy1k Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 My son's comment after the match that he lost was, "She's so SLIPPERY!" LOL! Poor kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 At that age, I don't see why not. It's not a boy-girl thing yet and they're potentially evenly matched. I know so little about wrestling, I think I would trust the judgement of the people setting the matches. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I don't see how John Piper can logically compare men beating their wives and other forms of assault with girls choosing to wrestle as a sport. If he really considers wrestling moves to automatically be assault, then he should be telling everyone not to let their sons wrestle boys either. I also don't understand this whole, "I teach my sons not to hit girls" thing. Why not just teach all your kids not to hit period, unless necessary in self-defense? I don't want my boys hitting anyone without just cause. Getting in a bar fight with men would be no more acceptable to me than getting in a bar fight with women. Also, if a woman is trying to attack them and they can't get away, I don't want them to hesitate to defend themselves because she's a woman. A criminal is a criminal. I think Christians are called to be peacemakers in general. Unfortunately, it seems like some people (of any or no religion) consider teaching their sons not to hit girls to be enough, while allowing video games and movies that glorify violence. Look at how people cheer when there's a fight at hockey games. It's one thing to play a little rough in a sport, but intentionally trying to injure someone is different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Both of my kids grapple with opponents of the opposite gender every week. My daughter is the only female in the class who isn't over age ten. The boys started out taking it easy on her, but then realized she's a solid competitor who didn't need that extra edge. They don't tease each other when she beats them; they know she's tough and fights well. Maybe that'll change as they get older, maybe not. She's the youngest of four boys, and is always one of the ones to beat in our local competitions. My son doesn't recognize gender on the mat; you're an opponent, full stop. He's one of the few boys who will check a girl on the soccer field, too (there are three girls playing in the boys' division). He says it best: "Mom, on the field there aren't any boobs or balls. Just people in my way of scoring." Crass, but true! I'm sure some boys will tease another boy for losing to a female. I know people who think like that. But that's their problem, not mine. If it becomes my son's problem, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it ... but I'm not convinced that pulling him from co-ed competition is the only -or even best- way to address it. Probably I'd just smack him upside the head until his common sense settled in a bit better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happycc Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I grew up with 7 brothers. I love a good fight. Oh I mean a good wrestle. Our girls need people to wrestle with. They need to know how to fight. They are going to be out in the world one day and they are going to need to stand up for themselves in case they are in any circumstances that might require for them to do so. Also they may be in a position where they might have to protect their own children. I have been "jumped" a few times and boy if it weren't for my lack of fear of fighting in close contact I was able to keep from getting seriously injured and raped. If you put up a good fight, they back away. Teach your girls to yell, scream, bite, kick, scratch everything and anything! One thing good boys can do is allow the girls to practice and learn some good moves cause bad boys will always be there unfortunately. Girls taught to be prim and proper and be all feminine -it is a disservice because unfortunately this world is changing fast. People are not as nice as they use to be. It is more violent and ruthless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Haven't read all the replies but I voted for "yes, at any age" for now. It can be awkward because the uniforms are so revealing. There is that potential for lawsuits although, in my area, it seems far fetched. Wrestling is a very good skill for girls to learn. If plain old high school wrestling is too embarrassing because of the uniform, there are other grappling arts which use more modest apparel such as submission wrestling and BJJ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes, especially at that age, but later. I wouldn't force him to wrestle a girl, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Our local high school has a girl on the wrestling team, so nothing is changed "when they get older". You just have high school boys wrestling high school girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) No. My 9 yo has wrestled for several years, and he takes the loss when he is paired with a girl. I will not put my son in a situation where he could be accused because of something he had to do innocently in a match. He doesn't need to "butt drag" a little girl. Heck, I look away when the boys have to do it to each other. That's just a bit too personal for me. :D My son will not be the one who grabbed some girl in an inappropriate way and earned a negative reputation because of it. But the main reason is that we are adamently teaching him that violence against a woman is never, ever right. Not in wresting, not in anger, not in play or fun, not even in self defense. Having him wrestle a girl would go against that. Edited January 9, 2012 by angela in ohio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 My vote is no. I've spent time teaching my boys *not* to physically overpower a girl (or even attempt to do so) for any reason short of life or death. Winning in a sport does not take precedence over treating "the fairer sex" with respect and honor. My ds was lined up against a girl on an opposing team during a football game. He made a compromise I felt was reasonable--no hands-on, just straight-up blocking & holding in place without bulldozing to the ground. ETA: For my family, it's not a matter of inappropriate sexual contact, but a simple matter of respect & chivalry. I'm not embarrassed to say that chivalry is alive and well in my household! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) Absolutely yes. I'd prefer to teach my son that it takes a real man not to be a chauvinist like John Piper. If a girl/woman is good enough to compete then taking a loss denies that person equal opportunity. Very ungentlemanly behavior. Bill Edited January 9, 2012 by Spy Car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Absolutely yes. I'd prefer to teach my son that it takes a real man not to be a chauvinist like John Piper. If a girl/woman is good enough to compete then taking a loss denies that person equal opportunity. Very ungentlemanly behavior. Bill :iagree::iagree: I assume that the girl in question is suitable for competition against boy because weights and upper body strength not significantly different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeri Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 My son (12) has wrestled against girls in the past and we have no problem with it. The girls I saw today were terrific! jeri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Nope, call me old fashioned, but I would have my son forfeit the match. Oldest ds was paired up with a girl for TKD belt testing once, not for first belt ranks, but about 1/3 of the way to black. We did not have time to discuss what to do before we (as parents) realized the pairing. Without instruction or advice from us, ds (then about 11-12, iirc?) just put up his arms and gloves and defended himself. He never made an offensive strike, despite the girl's parents in the dojo yelling, "Kill him, <girl's name I can't remember>, kill him!!!" DS passed TWO belt ranks that day and was privately congratulated by black belt judges who know of his abilities yet commended him on his self-control. Some of you may see this as chauvinistic, but I dh and I saw it as gallantry of the highest order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes. But I don't have a son. I have a daughter. And if all the boys in wrestling refused to be paired up with a girl, it is very likely in some areas said girl wouldn't have anyone. Same with martial arts. Most of the martial arts presentations I've seen (at least in my area) have a majority of boys. If a girl has no one to spar with and no one to test with... how will she participate in the sport? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Absolutely yes. I'd prefer to teach my son that it takes a real man not to be a chauvinist like John Piper. If a girl/woman is good enough to compete then taking a loss denies that person equal opportunity. Very ungentlemanly behavior. Bill Yes. But I don't have a son. I have a daughter. And if all the boys in wrestling refused to be paired up with a girl, it is very likely in some areas said girl wouldn't have anyone. Same with martial arts. Most of the martial arts presentations I've seen (at least in my area) have a majority of boys. If a girl has no one to spar with and no one to test with... how will she participate in the sport? Good points. Refusing to participate with her or allow your son to participate with her doesn't show her "chivalry," it shows her a total lack of respect as a teammate and/or opponent, denies her an equal opportunity and might prevent her from advancing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 My son is a wrestler. He has wrestled one girl in the past (think he was 9 or 10yo) and a number of his teammates have wrestled girls (I've only seen one since they hit high school but that may just be because she's the only one to make the varsity team). I know a boy who quit wrestling after losing to a girl but then he wasn't all that into wrestling in the first place and it made an easy out for him with his dad. One girl who wrestled when ds was younger was very good and won major match. The boys appreciated her skills but there were those who were glad they weren't in her weight class. I often wonder what happened to her now that she's high school level but I haven't seen her on any of the local teams. The boys feel it is a "no win" situation. If you win, so what you beat a girl but if you lose, the other boys are sure to say a few things. When my ds came up against a girl he said she wanted to wrestle so he treated her like any other opponent, though I noticed that he did not wrestle her as aggressively as he might and was able to get the job done with a quick pin rather than practicing takedowns or something like he often did against an easier opponent. We all also did taekwondo with self defense classes to a high level so boy/girl pairings are normal. I look at it in kinda the same way a doctor would look at a patient...there's nothing untoward about it, just doing a job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 At that age, I don't see why not. It's not a boy-girl thing yet and they're potentially evenly matched. I know so little about wrestling, I think I would trust the judgement of the people setting the matches. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes, because it's an organized sport situation and that's how the opponents are lined up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I answered "other" because I'm not a big fan of wrestling anyway, and frankly, the whole rolling around and grabbing body parts? Always struck me as a tad too sexual. Period. For those of you wondering if I mean between boys as well as between boys-and-girls--yes. Not that these kids mean it in that way. But, the movements themselves and the way they grapple and pin each other to the floor and have all that body contact--it just has always struck me as a sport that had a great deal of potential for sexual excitation. Whether it's girls-on-boys, or boys-on-boys, or girls-on-girls, it's all involving holds and movements that...well, in most other social situations would be likely interpreted as quite something else than mere "play." That being my perception of the sport, you all may understand my amusement at how many conservative, religious folks who don't want their girls and boys wrestling, are apparently quite fine with (or oblivious to?) the potential for homoerotic tones of same sex wrestling. (I don't have anything against homosexuality at all, BTW.) I just am not cool with my child participating in what seems to me a sexualized-type activity. WRT whether girls and boys should compete against each other: my ds plays ice hockey, and there is a girl in his league that is a goalie. Not only do the boy players fully accept her, she is the most popular goalie because she's the best one out there. Anytime she walks into our locker room, the other kids cheer. "Yeeesss!! We're so gonna win today, she's an awesome goalie" is the sentiment that's repeated over and over. She's not the only girl playing out there either. There are a few others, and they are all well-respected and one of them is a good friend of Jackson's. She's so good, she plays a year up on another team, and she's one of the top scorers. This is a huge area, with lots of hockey teams. Nevertheless, even with the vibrant hockey community, there's only one rink out of about 15 or so that hosts a girls' team. Obviously, they'd have a boring season if they only played themselves. So, many of them play individually on other teams with boys, and as a team against other boys' teams. This whole argument that "boys should just concede to girls, and not play" robs girls like these young hockey players of the chance not only to enjoy the sport competitively, but it also robs boys like my ds a chance early on in life to relate to girls as equals in every sphere. Thanks to this exposure, he understands that though girls may not be as physically strong, they are every bit as capable as the boys of strategy , improving technique, teamwork, and most importantly, having fun and enjoying the game. That to me is true respect--the respect of equals. Anything less is thinly veiled condescension. Edited January 9, 2012 by Aelwydd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes. Matwork in Judo is quite similar to wrestling. We often have wrestlers come in the off season to practice and learn different techniques. My boys have done, and still do, matwork with girls, and I've done, and still do, matwork with men. It can seem weird when you're watching. But once you're out there, you realize that the only thing you're thinking about is not getting pinned. My boys know to not use Judo off the mats against either gender, unless they need to defend themselves. We're raising them to be gentlemen (holding doors, etc), and I don't see this as a conflict. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I have mixed feelings (and only girls). I would worry that at competition, people OUTSIDE of the world of martial arts will not understand the way things work and it does become more pressure for a boy in this situation. He's either 'beat by a girl' or he 'beat a girl'. For that reason, I would discourage mixed competition as much as possible. However, practicing should be co-ed. It teaches the guys control and it teaches girls so many things. It's a good thing for a girl to learn how to defend herself against a boy. It's also good (and this will sound funny so please re-read it) for her to learn what it's like to be touched by boys. I take aikido (and love it - I'm the only female in my class though) and the hardest thing for me to do was to adjust to casual touch from a male. They would touch my arm and I would jump. They would put their arm around my waist and I would stiffen up. Aikido is a contact martial art, so throwing me on the ground and occasional JuJitsu type moves were common. The benefits from aikido (after several years) are obvious to me and others around me. Strange men do not bother me. It's not that I feel like I can put a beat down on everyone ;) but I don't feel intimidated simply by being female. I feel like I have options if I am ever attacked. And while my classmates bruise me plenty, they are gentlemen of the highest order. They started slow and would spend extra time showing me self-defense skills. If a new guy came into class using bad language, they pulled him to the side and told him to knock it off. (Bad language wasn't forbidden, but Sensei said that if I was around they didn't use it). My younger two daughters are involved in karate for several reasons. I want them to be comfortable with boys as friends who aren't necessarily boyfriends. I want them to have several boys who are friends when other boyfriends come into the picture. I want them to have basic self-defense skills. The men I have met in martial arts are good people with high morals. I want her to have that role model of standards and to pick someone with similar high standards when that time comes. And I want her to be comfortable with being touched by members of the opposite sex. If she is ever attacked, I don't want her to freeze because someone has grabbed her - I want her to knock their socks off and then run. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama_Rana Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Sexuality comes in all shapes and sizes. If the types of touch that wrestling involves is too intimate to occur between a coed pairing, then they are too intimate to occur between a same-sex pairing. But I think it's a mistake to confuse the touching of wrestling with sexual touching. I do think Donna has a good point about the "no-win" situation though, but I think it's too bad that it happens that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Absolutely yes. I'd prefer to teach my son that it takes a real man not to be a chauvinist like John Piper. If a girl/woman is good enough to compete then taking a loss denies that person equal opportunity. Very ungentlemanly behavior. Bill :iagree: Well said! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Yes, because it's an organized sport. Now, I don't like wrestling, and my son has no interest in it, but if he did it would not be an issue. He has sparred with girls in martial arts before. Different, I know, but it's still organized with rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I answered "other" because I'm not a big fan of wrestling anyway, and frankly, the whole rolling around and grabbing body parts? Always struck me as a tad too sexual. Period. For those of you wondering if I mean between boys as well as between boys-and-girls--yes. Not that these kids mean it in that way. But, the movements themselves and the way they grapple and pin each other to the floor and have all that body contact--it just has always struck me as a sport that had a great deal of potential for sexual excitation. Whether it's girls-on-boys, or boys-on-boys, or girls-on-girls, it's all involving holds and movements that...well, in most other social situations would be likely interpreted as quite something else than mere "play." That being my perception of the sport, you all may understand my amusement at how many conservative, religious folks who don't want their girls and boys wrestling, are apparently quite fine with (or oblivious to?) the potential for homoerotic tones of same sex wrestling. (I don't have anything against homosexuality at all, BTW.) I just am not cool with my child participating in what seems to me a sexualized-type activity. WRT whether girls and boys should compete against each other: my ds plays ice hockey, and there is a girl in his league that is a goalie. Not only do the boy players fully accept her, she is the most popular goalie because she's the best one out there. Anytime she walks into our locker room, the other kids cheer. "Yeeesss!! We're so gonna win today, she's an awesome goalie" is the sentiment that's repeated over and over. She's not the only girl playing out there either. There are a few others, and they are all well-respected and one of them is a good friend of Jackson's. She's so good, she plays a year up on another team, and she's one of the top scorers. This is a huge area, with lots of hockey teams. Nevertheless, even with the vibrant hockey community, there's only one rink out of about 15 or so that hosts a girls' team. Obviously, they'd have a boring season if they only played themselves. So, many of them play individually on other teams with boys, and as a team against other boys' teams. This whole argument that "boys should just concede to girls, and not play" robs girls like these young hockey players of the chance not only to enjoy the sport competitively, but it also robs boys like my ds a chance early on in life to relate to girls as equals in every sphere. Thanks to this exposure, he understands that though girls may not be as physically strong, they are every bit as capable as the boys of strategy , improving technique, teamwork, and most importantly, having fun and enjoying the game. That to me is true respect--the respect of equals. Anything less is thinly veiled condescension. Hockey family here. My second son's hockey team has girls and many coaches here say that girls will do better on a mixed team than an all girls' team because they have to work harder to keep up with the boys. There haven't been any problem with having girls on the team. Now, football here is another story.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Only his sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I don't think girls should wrestle with boys, but if other families don't have problems with it, who am I to tell them otherwise? I don't agree that it is wrong or condescending for boys to opt out of wrestling girls if they (or their families) feel the need to. They have as much right to behave according to their comfort level as the girls who participate do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Good points. Refusing to participate with her or allow your son to participate with her doesn't show her "chivalry," it shows her a total lack of respect as a teammate and/or opponent, denies her an equal opportunity and might prevent her from advancing. I'm assuming (because of the quotation marks) that you're referring to my post. All I can say to that is, to each his/her own. My boy will still not drag your girl to the ground, hold her down, and then call it victory. {shrug} :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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