Is this fair?

[joannqn]

We have a rule in our house. Dirty clothing goes in the hamper in the laundry room.

 

DD11 habitually gathers a pile behind her bedroom door before eventually putting it in the hamper. At times it hinders ones ability to fully open the door and enter the room. She sort of shares a room with her little sister; at is, little sister's stuff is in there but she doesn't sleep in there yet. Because of this, I do need to enter her room regularly.

 

DS9 habitually throws his dirty clothes in his drawers, in the middle of the room, and on the floor of his closet. He shares a room with DS4, who isn't learning good habits from his older brother.

 

DS4 habitually throws his dirty clothes on the floor or under his bed. At times, he can be very good about putting his clothes in the hamper.

 

I'm tired of starting a load of laundry that isn't completely full only to find that there was plenty more of that color on the floor in bedrooms.

 

I'm tired of nagging and yelling about laundry on the floor.

 

I'm tired of inappropriate outfits because they "have nothing clean to wear". While they don't have much clothing, odds are they'd have clean clothing if it had been in the hamper when I last did a load that color.

 

So....

 

I put laundry baskets in their closet. DD11 and DS9 will be responsible for their own laundry: washing, drying, folding, and putting it away. They both know how to do laundry.

 

How would I deal with laundry that is left in the washer or dryer after the machine is finished and the next person needs to use it? I don't want to have to nag. I'm thinking of having the rule that the next person may remove the clothing and place it on the laundry room floor for the owner to deal with after the current user is done with both machines. (Don't want the current user to have to wait for the dryer because of the delay.)

[zaichiki]

This is normal (from the kids) and perfectly reasonable for you (having them do their own laundry). I would put a clean, empty basket or two near the washer/dryer and instruct anyone using the machine to empty a full machine into the basket for the sibling's future use in order to continue with their own laundry.

[ktgrok]

Why not just put a hamper in their rooms? I honestly wouldn't be good about taking my dirty clothes all the way into another room every time I changed. I need a hamper where I take the clothes off. I'd let them use the laundry baskets for hampers.

[Rosie_0801]

Fair from whose point of view? :tongue_smilie:

 

I don't think anyone has ever died from doing their own washing in the safety of their own house. Your kids will certainly live.

 

Rosie

[Excelsior! Academy]

This

This is normal (from the kids) and perfectly reasonable for you (having them do their own laundry). I would put a clean, empty basket or two near the washer/dryer and instruct anyone using the machine to empty a full machine into the basket for the sibling's future use in order to continue with their own laundry.

:iagree:

[Joker]

Why not just put a hamper in their rooms? I honestly wouldn't be good about taking my dirty clothes all the way into another room every time I changed. I need a hamper where I take the clothes off. I'd let them use the laundry baskets for hampers.

 

:iagree: This is what I do for my dds because I am also bad about letting dirty clothes stay where they fall. I actually have a basket in their room and in the bathroom so they take off the clothes and put them immediately where they need to go. We have a very small home but have made this work. When the baskets are full they do the laundy together. It's helped tremendously.

[zaichiki]

Wanna hear something funny?

My completely normal children (or so I think) each have a laundry basket in their rooms. Guess where their dirty laundry is? All over the floor! And piled NEXT TO the baskets! :svengo:

 

When they have no clean clothes I simply ask them where all of their dirty laundry is -- "There were none of your clothes in the hamper when I did the laundry." It's always best to look confused at this point, as if the clothes must have *been* there but walked away or something. (If I don't, THEY do.) They are then required to bring down all of their dirty laundry AND start their own load. And I have no sympathy. I usually don't get upset about it, but I won't have any sympathy to share either. :lol:

 

ETA: My children all have had "helping with laundry" chores as a part of their daily chore responsibility over the years. It's currently the 2 and 6 year olds who help switch the loads and empty the dryer. I do the folding. I'm okay with this arrangement. I have friends whose 9-12 year olds do ALL of their own laundry ALL the time and it works for them.

Edited January 4, 2012 by zaichiki

[Guest submarines]

I put laundry baskets in their closet. DD11 and DS9 will be responsible for their own laundry: washing, drying, folding, and putting it away. They both know how to do laundry.

 

How would I deal with laundry that is left in the washer or dryer after the machine is finished and the next person needs to use it? I don't want to have to nag. I'm thinking of having the rule that the next person may remove the clothing and place it on the laundry room floor for the owner to deal with after the current user is done with both machines. (Don't want the current user to have to wait for the dryer because of the delay.)

 

Laundry baskets in their closets sounds great, and this is what I was going to suggest as I was reading your post.

 

The rule, though, is punitive from the get go, and doesn't sound like something that would foster long term cooperation. Though I'm biased, as I routinely forget to remove clothes from the dryer. :001_huh:

 

With them being only 9 and 11, I'd start with a lot of reminders and supervision so that everything goes smoothly, until the routine is established and they are comfortable with their new responsibilities. I'd give them a grace period too.

[kiana]

I'd prefer to provide a laundry basket or several rather than tell them to remove clothes from the machines and put them on the floor.

 

I'd also much prefer a basket in the room. I hate having to remember to carry clothes around after removing them myself.

[Unicorn.]

Having them put someone else's washed laundry on the laundry room floor results in dirty laundry that must be re-washed, thereby causing you higher electric (or gas) and water bills. So no, it's not fair to you! :lol: On laundry day, just tell said children to bring all of their dirty laundry to wherever you do the sorting. If it doesn't get washed, then they have to wait for the next laundry day. I also sometimes make them go gather up everyone's dirty clothes. They hate that. :D

[foxbridgeacademy]

Hehehe, but maybe not on the floor, perhaps like room mates do and on top of the dryer? Plus we always charged a $1 to perform this "service"(clothes on dryer instead of floor). For kids maybe "you owe me a quarter" might motivate?

 

Such a great story to tell their prospective spouses when they grow up.;)

[Starr]

I know several families that have a different laundry day for each family member. Maybe that would help. I have a basement full of laundry and it's too cold to go down there. My dc have baskets in their rooms that often get dumped into the one in my closet instead of finding their way to the basement. I remind them that what worked when they were 7 doesn't work at 17. Go figure.

[Element]

I charge my ds8 a "lazy tax" of ten cents for every item that I have to pick up and put into his hamper on laundry day. This method has been very effective. His laundry day is Tuesday (we each have a different laundry day) and he knows to have everything in by Tuesday or I will silently do it for him and take his money. :tongue_smilie:

Edited January 8, 2012 by Element

[joannqn]

To answer/respond:

 

I've done separate hampers before and found it created much more work for me to go room to room pulling out some of the color I need from each hamper to create a load. Nor does it ensure clothing goes in the hamper anyway.

 

Asking them to bring their clothing out on "laundry day" doesn't work here because I do clothing continuously throughout the week. We don't have enough clothing to last a week to do it once a week. I also don't have the stamina to do all of the laundry all in one day. So, I do a load or two each day.

 

I currently only have three laundry baskets. One is now in DD11's closet. One is now in DS10's closet. One is currently in use. I don't any another to leave in front of the machine in case someone leaves their laundry sitting in the machine. Yes, I'll go out and buy more baskets as soon as I can.

 

The moving clothing to the floor (basket when I have them) is a response to how laundry was done in my home growing up. As a teen, I had to do my own laundry and my brother's laundry. My mom ALWAYS left clothes in both the washer and dryer, so I had to do my parents' laundry before I could do my own.

 

They seem to take the announcement well. We'll see how it goes.

[alpidarkomama]

All of my kids do their own laundry (mostly). Each kid has their own day, Mon-Thurs. After breakfast, laundry goes in. After lunch, it goes to the drier. After dinner, they put it away.

 

Each of them has their own laundry bin in their room. I got tall lightweight folding square ones that take up less space. One of DD5's jobs is to help DS4 do his laundry. Works great, and everything is pre-sorted so it's easy to do. I usually do grownup and household laundry over the weekend. I also have all of them pull their whites and put them in a garbage can next to the washing machine. I do those too.

 

It's been working *great* for us for several months now, and no one really complains about it at all.

[Lily_Grace]

A couple of thoughts....

 

-you could give each child their own laundry days. Child 1 could have Mon/Thurs added to his chore chart, child 2 Tues/Fri, and so on.

 

-you need to be more proactive. I expect a room I can walk in every day and a room that is clean once a week. What are the daily standards at your house currently and how are you enforcing them?

[m0mmaBuck]

I have a 42yo DH who still tosses his clothes on the floor next to the hamper...

 

We have hampers in each bedroom as well as an additional one in the laundry room. I think keeping them in the closet would be "out of sight, out of mind" and they would be less likely to actually put their clothes in them. However, that may just be my little sloths.

 

Anyway... Once our kids are old enough to do their own laundry, they do their own laundry. Each kid has his own day. They usually throw a load in at bed time, get up in the morning and switch that load to the dryer and put their 2nd load in the washer before school, and dry the last load at some point during the day. If they don't have a full load, they know to put towels in with their clothes. They know they need to be done with their laundry before they go to bed.

[KidsHappen]

My children have hampers in their rooms which I do collect when I do laundry. Any clothes not in hampers don't get washed and if someone wants to wear something that didn't get washed can either wear it dirty or find something else.

 

Two people share the machines. When someone needs the washer and it is full they move the clothes to the dryer and if dryer is full clothes are moved to a basket to be dealt with by the owner.

 

We have relatively full laundry issues other than finding items mostly because I don't do a great job of sorting items and returning them to their respective owners. I don't allow my hubby or two youngers do laundry because we have had too many laundry accidents (ie, chapstick or gum left in pockets, pens in pockets, colors mixed, etc.).

[justasque]

"I am washing reds today, please be sure to bring your reds down when you come down for breakfast." Or perhaps, "I am washing darks today, please make sure your clothes are in your hamper or they won't get washed." Or perhaps, "Good morning. Did you put your clothes in the hamper? If not, please go back and do so." (Repeat, daily, for 20+ days so that it becomes a habit.)

 

I have experimented with having 3 hamper bins, one for each type of load I do, and having the dc and dh put their clothes in accordingly. That way, I can see which category is full enough for a load, and wash that one. Not perfect, but not bad.

 

Do your dc have a designated place to put clothes "to be worn again"? For example, if they wear a pair of jeans for a few hours, I wouldn't put them away as "clean", but I wouldn't want to wash them until they'd seen a bit more wear. Thus you need, say, a chair on which the neatly folded jeans may sit until they have been worn enough to warrant washing. Otherwise, they can end up on the floor.

 

The door opening problem is a safety issue, and in my house these are taken very seriously. My kids know when I say "safety issue" there is no arguing with mom. These things get monitored daily.

[2squared]

Asking them to bring their clothing out on "laundry day" doesn't work here because I do clothing continuously throughout the week. We don't have enough clothing to last a week to do it once a week. I also don't have the stamina to do all of the laundry all in one day. So, I do a load or two each day.

 

My kids' one morning chore...every day...is to bring their dirty clothes to the laundry room. My 9yo starts the first load every morning. If the clothes don't make it to the laundry room, they don't get clean. My kids also pick up their room every day before dinner.

 

As long as we stick to the daily routine (and I inspect their work), I don't nag any further. When my dc claim they are missing clothing, I remind them that I wash everything in the laundry room every day. They are responsible for finding their missing clothes. :001_smile:

[momofkhm]

When my kids leave their clothes in the washer or dryer, I'll "forward" the laundry to the pint of it being on the couch for them to fold if necessary. I will not fold their stuff. I will remind them to go get it while it is in the laundry room but I try not to nag about it.

[Miss Marple]

The 9 and 11 year old should do their own laundry. Give them a hamper for their room and let them deal with it. When my boys were that age they each had a day assigned during which they did their laundry. This isn't your hill to take ( there are many bigger ones to come :) ). In a couple years, when they are laundry-independent, you will be so thankful. And when they go to college and tell you that they had to teach their dorm mates how to do laundry, you will be proud indeed :)

 

By having their own day you can avoid the clothing left in the machine. My rule was that laundry wasn't done until it was put away. I've pulled a couple of mine out of bed to complete the task. They learn quickly. I would not put laundry on the floor but have child 1 inform child 2 that his laundry is finished and to get it out so another can use the machines. Then child 2 leaves whatever activity he is involved in and does it. That happens all the time around here now that life is chaotic with college students arriving on weekends etc. Laundry is meant to be done. It isn't an afterthought to get to when convenient. So anyone leaving laundry unfinished should be required to fix the problem.

Edited January 4, 2012 by CynthiaOK

[missmoe]

I wouldn't have them put the laundry on the floor. In our home, the laundry goes on the bed of the person who it belongs to. The laundry then needs to be folded before bed.

 

I think having them do their laundry is fine---all my kids do their own laundry. I think thinking that they will do it without being told or "nagged" is unreasonable at their age.

[Harriet Vane]

My kids have been doing their own laundry for years.

 

You should plan on both reminding them when it is their day to do the laundry, and you should inspect their sorting. Plan to do this for several months at the least. At this point I still do a surprise sorting inspection every now and then because they do get lazy.

 

This can work well and be a blessing if you take the time to train them.

[jen3kids]

When my oldest started doing this, coupled with not putting away his cleaned, folded laundry, I stopped doing his laundry. He's been doing his own laundry since he was about 11.

 

My dd is starting to do the same thing. I went into her room to get something for her and saw the weekend's clean laundry piled on the floor, mixed in with dirty stuff. :mad: I told her last night that she is now responsible for her own laundry. I had given her plenty of warnings!

 

My youngest still puts his laundry in the hamper in my room (his room is a toy disaster) without complaint and puts his clean stuff away. I will continue to do his laundry.

[Chris in VA]

Clean clothes on the laundry room floor? Gee, at the laundromat people usually use a basket, or they pile it on top of the washer or a table.

 

What kind of household are you running? Are you promoting a team that is helping each other, or roommates that are just getting along until they save up and move out? Your philosophy determines your new rules.

 

We do not worry about sorting by colors. Red is banned and nothing else bleeds except new jeans so I do the first load of them seperately. Each child does his own load of mixed laundry when the basket is full. It takes a bit for them to learn when the basket equals a full washer load. Now that they are teens, they have more laundry so they split their basket into two loads..lights and darks.

 

Around here the guy that wants to use the washer and finds it full just moves the clothes in to the dryer and starts it. He then starts his washer load and mentions to the owner of the dryer load that he needs to get his stuff in about 50 min. Everyone has a way to tell time in their room and they know how to set an alarm. If the owner is busy working at unload time, we'll unload the dryer into the hamper and put it on the owner's bed. If he's not working, he'll be called to unload. If it is dh's or a kid working on a major research paper I'll put it away...no biggie.

 

Pretty much exactly this! :D

 

Mine all do their own laundry. When their basket it full, they take it down to the laundry room and wash it.

 

We do have a separate basket for towels in my room, but the kids just do theirs with their laundry. We wash on warm and it's fine. Nothing is dingy, nothing is bleeding. If they have something that would bleed, they do it separately or I do it--just the other day, my 22 yo washed a part-cashmere sweater...:glare: Just a teaching opportunity. ;):D

 

When someone's stuff is in the washer, you just move it for them. By the time your stuff needs to be dried, their stuff is dry. They have left their basket down there in the laundry room (because that's how they carried the load down), so you put it in their basket for them if they can't or are unavailable (or if you are standing there). They have the responsibility of taking it upstairs and folding/putting it away. I do offer grace from time to time and fold for the kids.

 

I don't go from basket to basket making a load of clothes. (ONce in a while, I'dll do towels this way, tho.) Way, way too time consuming for me.

 

I might do a load of whites occasionally--I just bleached a big load of socks and undies the other day--but that's maybe once every few months or so! LOL

 

We all do things differently. Ymmv.

[2squared]

Clean clothes on the laundry room floor? Gee, at the laundromat people usually use a basket, or they pile it on top of the washer or a table.

 

What kind of household are you running? Are you promoting a team that is helping each other, or roommates that are just getting along until they save up and move out? Your philosophy determines your new rules.

 

We do not worry about sorting by colors. Red is banned and nothing else bleeds except new jeans so I do the first load of them seperately. Each child does his own load of mixed laundry when the basket is full. It takes a bit for them to learn when the basket equals a full washer load. Now that they are teens, they have more laundry so they split their basket into two loads..lights and darks.

 

Around here the guy that wants to use the washer and finds it full just moves the clothes in to the dryer and starts it. He then starts his washer load and mentions to the owner of the dryer load that he needs to get his stuff in about 50 min. Everyone has a way to tell time in their room and they know how to set an alarm. If the owner is busy working at unload time, we'll unload the dryer into the hamper and put it on the owner's bed. If he's not working, he'll be called to unload. If it is dh's or a kid working on a major research paper I'll put it away...no biggie.

 

:iagree: This sounds like a perfect mix of independence, teamwork, and grace.

[fairfarmhand]

The rule, though, is punitive from the get go, and doesn't sound like something that would foster long term cooperation. Though I'm biased, as I routinely forget to remove clothes from the dryer. :001_huh:

 

With them being only 9 and 11, I'd start with a lot of reminders and supervision so that everything goes smoothly, until the routine is established and they are comfortable with their new responsibilities. I'd give them a grace period too.

yes, this....

 

 

 

My oldest has been doing laundry since she was ten. With my second dd approaching ten she will soon begin washing her own clothes.

 

I am willing to switch clothes for my kids, but if I need the dryer, I just toss the dry clothes into a spare basket.

 

The only thing about my oldest doing laundry that ticks me off is if she tosses my damp clothes from the dryer into a basket because she is too impatient to allow them to dry completely.

 

Otherwise, I appreciate the fact that she does her own laundry.

 

Although, it started somewhat similar to your situation it has been a boon for our family. For my dd it was because she was constantly griping at me for getting behind and she didn't have her favorites clean, hence there was NOTHING to wear. So I gave her the responsibility of doing her own clothes.

[fairfarmhand]

Clean clothes on the laundry room floor? Gee, at the laundromat people usually use a basket, or they pile it on top of the washer or a table.

 

What kind of household are you running? Are you promoting a team that is helping each other, or roommates that are just getting along until they save up and move out? Your philosophy determines your new rules.

 

We do not worry about sorting by colors. Red is banned and nothing else bleeds except new jeans so I do the first load of them seperately. Each child does his own load of mixed laundry when the basket is full. It takes a bit for them to learn when the basket equals a full washer load. Now that they are teens, they have more laundry so they split their basket into two loads..lights and darks.

 

Around here the guy that wants to use the washer and finds it full just moves the clothes in to the dryer and starts it. He then starts his washer load and mentions to the owner of the dryer load that he needs to get his stuff in about 50 min. Everyone has a way to tell time in their room and they know how to set an alarm. If the owner is busy working at unload time, we'll unload the dryer into the hamper and put it on the owner's bed. If he's not working, he'll be called to unload. If it is dh's or a kid working on a major research paper I'll put it away...no biggie.

 

yup. this is my house too. I love sorting my laundry by child. Even for my littles, it is nice to just have all the laundry in one basket. I hand the child a basket to put away and there is no gathering laundry from her and there. I do a load of whites each week.

 

Here is my laundry system.

 

http://voices.yahoo.com/how-conquer-mount-washmore-10552085.html?cat=25

[5LittleMonkeys]

Dirty laundry must be picked up from the floor and put in the hamper before you can eat breakfast here. I don't do laundry (dd14 does it and then distributes it to each person to fold and put away), but I make sure it is all in the laundry room ready for her to wash via ds5. He goes to everyone's room in the a.m. and then reports to me whether or not there are dirty clothes lying about. The girls HATE being "caught" by their little brother and the day we had early morning company and he brought down dd12's bra to show me she hadn't picked it up was the day she stopped leaving her clothes on the floor.:D

[Wabi Sabi]

We have one hamper in the house and it's in the hallway directly outside of all three bedrooms and the only bathroom. All clothes (theoretically, at least) go into the one hamper.

 

When I gather laundry I do a quick peek in the kids' rooms and the bathroom to grab any clothes that didn't make it to the basket. Takes all of 30 seconds, not a big deal at all.

 

Not sorting laundry by color just seems so wrong, wrong, wrong to me. I shake my head in disbelief when I hear about people not sorting, LOL. My kids probably will never be responsible for their own laundry while they're still living under this roof because it just doesn't make sense, IMO. They probably don't have enough of any one particular color to make a full load plus seeing as I pay good money for clothing, I want to make sure that all stains are treated properly and that the clothing is kept in good shape. I do, however, expect them to help with the family laundry as needed.

 

Allowing another child to take laundry out of the dryer and place it on the dirty floor? Sheer craziness, LOL. I'm a pretty laid-back person in general but one of the few exceptions is laundry. There is a right way (my way) and a wrong way (anything that's not my way) to do laundry goshdarnit. No one will be permitted to do laundry the "wrong way" in my household. :lol:

[elfgivas]

not a hill i'm prepared to die on....

 

each morning, i simply say

"bring all your dirty laundry to the laundry room"

 

and they do.

 

where they keep it until then is up to them.

because i wash every morning, there isn't a backlog.

 

once they are 12, they have a laundry day which is a day when i don't do laundry. they each get their own day. they do this until they have the habit. then sometimes we keep it that way, sometimes we go back to family laundry.

 

fwiw,

ann

[nukeswife]

I guess I'm very lucky because my kids hampers are in the laundry room, although their clothes are kept in those cubbie units you can get at target in the hallway outside said laundry room, so it's pretty easy for them to deposit dirty stuff when picking up the clean stuff they plan to wear. I do all the laundry except for towels. My kids are usually pretty good about making sure that they put their clothes away when I'm done washing it, they know how to do laundry if I ask, but I'm a bit anal about laundry so I rarely ask them to do more than transfer a load for me.

 

The only two peoples clothes that mix together in a load would be mine and dh's. Each of the kids stuff is washed separately from everyone else. Each person has a dark load and a white/light load. This started when my dd was little because she has super sensitive skin and if her clothes are mixed with anyone else's even if I use the same detergent for everyone she breaks out. Not sure why since you'd expect it all to be clean but that's just the way it is. I find it easier to do this because it's also easier to fold and have them put it away since it doesn't need to be sorted by person after it's finished drying.

[love2read]

I read a book, Cleaning From the Inside Out or similar title, that said the solution to those messes is to put a hamper (or shelves, coat rack, tubs) exactly where the mess is. It worked.

 

With that in mind

-put a tall, plastic trash container by dd door. She does her own laundry in warm water all at once. Teach her to pull out reds and whites that she wants to stay white (you can do those)

-ds tall container against a wall where the majority of the clothes go. Once they're over the age of 9, they do their own laundry and the laundry of any younger siblings they share a room with. Yes, even boys :)

[Night Elf]

My girls do their own laundry and they have both adopted the same lazy system. They have 1 hamper and 1 basket. The hamper is carried to the washer/drier and then the clean clothes are transported back to their room in their basket. So at all times, they have a hamper with dirty clothes and a basket of clean clothes sitting right next to each other. Once in a great while they will decide to put away all of their clean clothes, but mostly they just grab clothes to wear from the clean basket. Since I am not part of their laundry processes, I don't give a fig where their clean and dirty clothes are.

 

Ds15 would never have dirty clothes in his room. That would freak him out. He uses the hamper and his clothes are washed with my DH's and my clothes.

 

When the girls did not do their own laundry, the clean clothes would be dumped on my bed and we would sort it by making piles for each person. Then one of us would yell LAUNDRY! and everyone would come and get their pile to put away in their own rooms. I haven't folded clothes for the kids since they were toddlers.

 

Oh, and of course we have had the child who has never liked folding her own clothes. We gave her a few bins for her closet. She would sort clean clothes into those so there was no folding and putting in drawers. But we don't have lots of nice clothes that can't be tossed in with other stuff. She had 1 bin for pjs/undies/socks, 1 bin for shirts, 1 bin for shorts/pants. It was easy cheesy and she never had clothes laying about her room. She decided to do her own laundry when she was 12 years old and rearranged her closet for hangers. She felt too "old" for clothing bins. But she doesn't use hangers most of the time. Maybe the bin is different from the basket in her eyes. :tongue_smilie:

[Tammyla]

Space is an issue for you too, right? Try laundry bags hanging behind their doors to have dirty items easy to gather. (These can be purchased or made very inexpensively.)

 

Honestly, I would want everyone in clean clothes with the least amount of fuss. That will vary from family to family. Discuss this with your kids and find what works best all around.

 

We have bedroom hampers or containers, as well as bathroom hampers. I'd rather go gathering from container to the next vs. finding dirty clothes everywhere.

 

Make it easy for yourself and them...kwim;)

Edited January 4, 2012 by Tammyla

[joannqn]

Yes, I'm adapting the idea as I get ideas.

 

I cannot put washed clothes on top of the dryer. We have front loaders that sit up on a step directly under cabinets. There's about two inches of space between the top of the machines and the cabinets. I do not have extra baskets to hold clothes that need to be moved out of the way for the next person, but will buy them as soon as I can.

 

I will not have the next person move clothes for someone else. I found out growing up that lazy people will simply leave their clothes for the next person to move for them. I always had to do my parent's clothing before I could do mine, and it did not create good feelings for them.

 

I'm considering assigning days but I don't think we own enough clothing for that yet. DD11, DS10, and I only own 2-3 pairs of pants each so making it to our laundry day could be difficult. For me, two of those pairs are not suitable for wearing outside the house so I need access to the washer more often than once or twice a week.

 

Their rooms are too small to hold both a hamper and a laundry basket. DD's room is situated in such a way that you cannot but a basket, hamper, or laundry bag near her door without blocking the entrance completely. The space is just big enough for the door to swing open. Putting a hamper in the middle of the boys' room (where the clothes are often thrown) would block access to the dresser.

 

Thanks for the input.

[Tap]

There are a couple of things I worry about in your new system. It will take more effort for you to monitor the new system, than just doing it yourself. If they are already choosing to not be responsible, adding more responsibility isn't likely going to be a quick fix.

 

I really dislike the idea of one child penalizing another child. The idea of putting one person's clothes on the floor, isn't productive. Besides, what if they don't care if their clothes are on the floor?

 

 

 

 

With everything you have said, I think it would be simpler to just build it into your school day.

 

While you are prepping lunch, each kid takes their own clothes to the laundry room. Period. If they want lunch, then take care of the chore first. It is at a time of day where there are natural transitions anyways, it is in the middle of the day so it won't be as easy to forget as at either end of the day, and there is a consequence that you control--not the other kids.

 

Then I would set up a system, of me checking rooms when they said they are done, just to make sure they are taking care of all the clothes and not leaving strays. For each item left in the room, they loose one item of my choosing (ie toy, computer access, dessert, etc). They would have to earn the item back from me.

[Tap]

Another thought would be assigning parts of the chore to each child. Preferably rotated though, so they each have the task for a week or month at a time.

 

 

#1 puts in a load in before school

#2 puts the load in the dryer at lunch

#3 folds, sorts and puts away the laundry after school.

 

If anyone step is forgotten for more than a hour or so, then the next day, that child gets to do all 3 steps.

 

I would use a timer to remind them in the beginning, new habits are hard to get started.

 

 

 

That leaves the washer free for you to do additional loads as you need to in the evening.

 

 

wash rinse repeat

 

 

Teaching our children that we are a family unit is important to me. We all do tasks for each other, because we care for each other and our family. We all work to make sure the home runs smoothly. I like to show our kids that team work makes things easier for everyone.

 

You may find that certain kids like certain tasks and then you will end up with assigned jobs instead of rotating ones. My kids did this with the kitchen and bathrooms. DD13 hates cleaning the kitchen, ds17 hates cleaning the bathrooms. They now have fixed chores and have had the same ones for years. Even thought ds17 does a lot more than dd13, they are happy with it, so I stay out of it.

Edited January 4, 2012 by Tap, tap, tap

[amey311]

my boys each have 2 of the smaller square laundry baskets - one for pants and one for "everything else." The "everything else" basket fills faster than the "pants" one, so that's usually combined into one load. I wash each kid's "everything else" load separately. I do NOT sort by color. I only sort out pants because in the winter this can mean jeans which dry slower than t-shirts.

 

That said, Thing 2 (8.5) will generally sort into the baskets if every.single.night I tell him to put his clothes in the baskets. Thing 1 (11) uses his floor as a laundry basket. Last week I pointed out that if he used the basket he'd have a visual reminder if when he was running out of things (the basket being full). It's not a battle I'm fighting with him because there are other, bigger concerns honestly.

 

We do have a strict "no food upstairs" rule.

[elfgivas]

hi joanne

 

:grouphug:

 

are you willing to try a completely different idea that's just about as easy and painless as i have found?

 

tomorrow morning as breakfast ends, say to your kids, go and get your dirty clothes and bring them to the laundry room.

 

then, you sort (or not) and wash.

 

the first day, maybe there will be two loads, maybe three?

 

friday morning, as breakfast ends, you say to your kids, go and get your dirty clothes and bring them to the laundry room.

 

there should be only one load, because you washed everything yesterday.

 

saturday morning, you say to your kids at the end of breakfast, go and get your dirty clothes and bring them to the laundry room.

 

sunday morning, i take a day of rest.

 

monday i do two loads, one jeans, one other.

tuesday, i do two loads, one girls bedding and towels, one clothes

wednesday, i do two loads, one master bedding and towels, one clothes. sometimes, the clothes loads are only partial loads. we wash on cold, i don't sort, i hang dry.

 

then, after lunch each day, each person takes their dishes to the kitchen, picks up their clean and dry laundry and puts it away. after the first day, there is never more than one day's worth of clothes to put away, so its quick and easy for them to do.

 

that's it. no new purchases, no clothes on the floor except over night, using electricity and time to the utmost.

 

and peace. lots of good peace.

 

then, if you decide you want them to know how to do their own laundry, you can begin to tweak the process. i am always up before them, so if on their laundry days i need to do laundry, i can have mine done often before any child is awake....

 

completely different idea #2.

you put a laundry hamper in the bathtub, send each child into the bathroom sequentially to get into pjs, brush teeth, etc.... and put their clothes in the hamper. you can remove it to the laundry room after you tuck them in..... or when its bath/shower time. no clothes on the floor, ever. dirty clothes in the hamper, always.....

 

:grouphug:

ann

[KatieJ]

:grouphug: to you Joanne.

 

I have BTDT with my kiddoes and what worked for us was baskets in their room and follow thru on my part to see that they used it.

Cardboard boxes worked for my neighbors when they didn't have enough baskets to put one in each room. You just keep on trying and one day you will figure out what works for you. Each of us has our own way of running our day and our household, don't be discouraged, just keep on trying things.

 

I don't see a problem with training your oldest kids to do laundry, that needs to happen at some point in their life and it might as well be now. However, I agree that brings on new problems such as them getting them done and out of the machines when you need to use them. If you chose to do that, and you find laundry in a machine when you need it, then I would find that child and ask them to move it to the next machine, or fold it whichever needs to happen at that point. I think soliciting their help for you to get it done in a timely manner would be more effective.

I would tackle it like the PP who suggested you call them on it every night when they get undressed and you ask for their dirty laundry each and every day that you do laundry. Many have said similiar things. You just keep on tryingn til you find what works for the rhythym of your household, but sometimes you need to shake up the rhythm and try something else.

;)

[joannqn]

I would suspect that your parents were doing you a favor by starting the load, rather than giving you the total job. My mother did the same for me occasionally by putting pots to soak rather than leaving them on the stove top.

 

No my parents never did me any favors while I was growing up.

 

 

Tap, Ann...

 

I love your suggestions. I haven't figured out how to maintain any kind of schedule that relies on my remembering something. As it is, we almost never have a meal at a set schedule.

[elfgivas]

my timer is my friend.

 

our thermostat is programmed to increase the heat in the house by 6 degrees as 6am approaches. this wakes me up.

 

when i'm trying to change my schedule, i leave myself notes.

 

but once its set, it goes something like this:

 

wake up. get up. make bed. bathroom.

by then, dh has started coffee. when he's on travel, i program the coffee maker to come on.

 

the smell of coffee causes me to go to kitchen (all on auto pilot, as i'm not really connected with my body yet).

 

unload dishwasher. by then, coffee will have finished. pour coffee. add cream. set timer for next activity (usually 30 minutes).

 

sit and have coffee with dh, and read news on line.

timer goes off.

try to remember why, and then do whatever it is. (often getting breakfast....)

 

then, breakfast will happen most days at roughly the same time.

 

that way, i don't actually have to remember much. once the pattern is set, my autopilot takes care of me, most of the time ;).

 

the laundry will be the same way. conversely, give the job of reminding everyone to one of your dc.....

 

:grouphug:

ann

[QuirkyKapers]

I have put two laundry baskets in the upstairs hallway. One basket is for light clothes the other is for dark. The kids love throwing their clothes out of their rooms into the basket. I rotate having ds or dd bring the laundry down. The one who doesn't bring it down, puts the clothes in the washer. I also rotate who puts the clothes from the washer to dryer. I haven't had them put in laundry detergent yet. This system has been working pretty good. Hubby or I take the clothes out and fold. We each have a basket that gets brought up and put away. Everyone is responsible for putting their own clothes away. My dd wonders why her clothes putting away takes so much longer than anyone else. I let her know it is because she has more clothes than anyone else. She should feel free to get rid of clothes so she has less work :D

[Sahamamama]

Could you assign them different days/parts of the week?

 

11 year old -- Your days for laundry are Monday or Tuesday (machines MUST be empty by Tuesday night)

 

9 year old -- Your days for laundry are Wednesday or Thursday (machines MUST be empty by Thursday night)

 

That would leave Friday and Saturday for the rest of the family's laundry.

 

OR...

 

I like Ann's suggestion of regularly saying, "Go and get your dirty clothes and bring them to the laundry room," BUT you could say it before breakfast, instead of after.

 

This works great with my kids, who are only 7, 5, and 5. "If you want to eat breakfast, then fold and put away that load of laundry" and "If you want a snack, then S sweep the floor, H empty the trash baskets, and M dry these dishes." Works wonders. Food motivates my kids. :lol:

[joannqn]

Ann, I wake up anywhere from 6pm (during the summer) and 8am (during the winter). Since moving to this dark house, I might not wake up before 9am. I don't set an alarm because it usually doesn't help; I just hit off and fall back asleep. I tried putting the clock where I have to get out of bed; I just get back in. If I'm having a dizzy day, I might fall on the way to the clock.

 

I prefer letting myself wake naturally because I have a very hard time falling asleep. I'll lay awake anywhere between 1 and 4 hours before falling asleep, which means I don't fall asleep until anywhere between 12am and 4am. I've been taking Benedryl at night for the past two weeks and now fall asleep between midnight and 1am so it is helping.

 

Today's schedule:

7am: wake up and pass back out

9am: wake up, feel dizzy, take meclizine and crawl back in bed to let it work

9:30am: get out of bed, shower, get dressed, wait for brain to wake up

10:30am: make muffins, tell big kids to do x subjects for school

11:30am: eat muffins for breakfast

12:00pm: do some learning activities with DS4

1:00pm: get bigs started on new project for science

3:00pm: time to think about eating lunch since we haven't yet (not much food in the house)

 

I've been having one of my more distracted, non-functional days. I'm tired from the meclizine, have a headache, and am struggling with mild depression lately.

 

On a good day, our schedule works a lot better and I get a lot done...though in my normal haphazard way. (Friends and pediatrician think I have ADD; my doctor won't medicate without $800 testing I can't afford.) I'm just not having as many of those in this dark, dreary house. Plus it is winter. I normally struggle with depression, energy, and motivation during the winters anyway. Summer is my friend. :)

 

Obviously, I was having a bad day yesterday. Today is one of my low energy, low mood days which is a step up. Maybe tomorrow will be good.

[StephanieZ]

I have a friend, a mom of 5, youngest is now 10 . . . She had ALL of them start doing their own laundry at age FOUR!

 

She says, "If they're old enough to work a remote, they are old enough to push the buttons on the washer.

 

True enough, lol.

 

According to her and her dc, they throw clothes on the floor or OUT THE WINDOW (apparently happened just once or twice) that are left in the machines.

 

Seems harsh, but I guess it worked for them.

 

Maybe just toss it in an empty laundry basket and sit it in the corner if you think that's too harsh. :)

[Angie in VA]

I have a friend, a mom of 5, youngest is now 10 . . . She had ALL of them start doing their own laundry at age FOUR!

 

She says, "If they're old enough to work a remote, they are old enough to push the buttons on the washer.

 

True enough, lol.

 

 

I only have 2 dc and I did this. They may have been 3 yo. Each child has a white laundry basket for whites and lights and dark basket for darks. They sort their laundry before it ever goes in the wash. Works great. They also hang their clothes to dry or use the dryer (we use the clothesline and drying racks more than the dryer, though), and take them down, fold them and put them away. It took a long time of my supervising them, but it was time well spent.

 

One thing we do is put a timer on for the laundry in the part of the house where we are, so we know when it's done. That has eliminated the problem of forgetting to get the clothes out of the washer. In fact, on the rare occasions that we do use the dryer, we time that too, so they don't sit there getting wrinkled.

 

 

Also, in our first home, the crib was in the guest room. There was a full/double bed in there too. One night dd announced that she was going to sleep in the big bed. She was 2 or 3. (A good mother would remember!) She did. (We had the bed rails already.) Next morning, I taught her how to make the bed. Was it super neat? No. Was it huge and she was little? Yes. She used the stool from the bathroom, but she made the bed. Has ever since. I make it for my dc on their birthdays and Christmas Day. Actually, they just do it now on those days too. They prefer to make their beds themselves. Even ds! *GASP!*

 

My mother thought it was mean of me, but, hey, so far dd has turned out much better than I did! :) And ds is light years ahead of where I was regarding chores at his age.

[2squared]

Ann, I wake up anywhere from 6pm (during the summer) and 8am (during the winter). Since moving to this dark house, I might not wake up before 9am. I don't set an alarm because it usually doesn't help; I just hit off and fall back asleep. I tried putting the clock where I have to get out of bed; I just get back in. If I'm having a dizzy day, I might fall on the way to the clock.

 

I don't know how to say this gently, but I think the issues you are having with the kids start with how you set the tone for the day. If your waking time varies by 3 hours in any day and meals are equally variable, I can't imagine that the kids are set up for success.

 

I have a larger family, and we do so much better when our routine is predictable. My kids are used to getting up around 7:00, eating at 7:30ish, and starting school at 8:30ish. They know what is coming in their day, and they do a pretty good job of meeting my expectations. If I have a bad night and don't wake up until 9:00 (I can only dream about sleeping that late!), we would be playing catch-up all day. Chores and meals would be rushed or forgotten. No one would know what comes next in our day, including me. If the kids start the day playing for a couple hours, forget about getting their heads back to school work or chores!

 

Maybe you can take baby steps. Maybe pick one thing that you want to do well and consistently. If it's laundry, then peg laundry to one thing that happens every day. Maybe the kids bring their dirty clothes to the laundry room before bed every.single.night - and you have to inspect their work every.single.night. Once that's a habit, pick something else to work on. Maybe you want the kids to pick up the house every day. Peg it to before dinner, attack the house as a team working through one room at a time, and then eat. Meals are a great peg for us since we usually eat at some point, and the kids are always hungry.

 

:grouphug:

Edited January 5, 2012 by 2squared