Valid reasons for delaying or ceasing reproduction

[annandatje]

Updated post: What I meant to ask was if you wanted one or more children, what kinds of circumstances would cause you to either delay it or completely forego it? Assuming it is a marriage where sexual activity will continue regardless of reproduction decision, birth control is a must. I also assumed that if a couple did NOT want to reproduce, they would use birth control. I specifically omitted NFP because I personally do not consider it to meet criteria of minimal failure rate even though I did not specify a particular failure rate.

 

We had intended to have a larger family but originally stopped because of the demands of a special needs child. Other reasons that I would stop in spite of wanting another: financial constraints that I could not reasonably foresee overcoming in near future; inability to adequately provide food clothing and shelter for existing children; time limitations; physical or mental health issues in either partner that would impede properly caring for child; knowledge of a high likelihood of passing along a significant genetic defect or disease; living in an area where war and/or genocide were occurring; living in an already unhappy unsatisfying marriage.

 

Original post:

Obviously opinions will differ from couple to couple, but what do you personally consider valid reasons for postponing or ceasing having babies?

Postponing or ceasing reproduction would involve using barrier, double barrier, hormonal, or surgical birth control method or methods that have minimal failure rates.

Edited December 31, 2011 by annandatje

[Parrothead]

I do not believe there is a valid reason to use artificial birth control.

[Mergath]

When either person in a couple decides they don't want to have children, or the couple decides they are financially unable to support more children.

 

I mean, really, are there any invalid reasons to cease having kids? If someone has a reason for not wanting more, that should be it.

[regentrude]

Any reason. I consider it completely a couple's choice how many children they wish to bring into this world, and at what point in time.

I can not imagine an "invalid" reason for not wanting any, or more, kids.

[Veritaserum]

Couples who cannot physically or emotionally care for another child should prevent conception via artificial or natural methods.

[tabrizia]

When either person in a couple decides they don't want to have children, or the couple decides they are financially unable to support more children.

 

I mean, really, are there any invalid reasons to cease having kids? If someone has a reason for not wanting more, that should be it.

 

 

:iagree:, also when a medical professional has a valid medical reason why having more would be detrimental to the health of either future children or the mother.

[Wheres Toto]

I agree with Mergath and regentrude. If either member of a couple doesn't want more for any reason, that is valid for them.

 

For us personally it was a combination of age, finances/space constraints and our previously agreed upon limits.

[Denisemomof4]

I wanted to have more babies but my pain tolerance level prevented that. I have a slight scoliosis and we make HUGE babies. (10'1 was my first, 10'13 my second, third a small 8 lbs!) I have a slight scoliosis and pregnancy was extremely tough on me. Dh had tears in his eyes and told me he couldn't watch me go through that again, so we adopted and dh had his plumbing rewired.;)

 

It was the right decision for us. My back definitely got worse after having kids.

[choirfarm]

Obviously opinions will differ from couple to couple, but what do you personally consider valid reasons for postponing or ceasing having babies?

 

Postponing or ceasing reproduction would involve using barrier, double barrier, hormonal, or surgical birth control method or methods that have minimal failure rates.

 

Because I don't want them... I have 3. I used bc at first because dh was finishing school and we were not in the financial place to have them. Plus dh was in residency and would never have seen them! I wanted at least a little bit of health. Now it is because 3 is all I can handle. God gave me a brain to decide that!!! That said, God can do what he wants because we thought we stoped at 2 and 3 was our surprise blessing despite being on bc.

[QueenCat]

When either person in a couple decides they don't want to have children, or the couple decides they are financially unable to support more children.

 

I mean, really, are there any invalid reasons to cease having kids? If someone has a reason for not wanting more, that should be it.

 

 

:iagree:100%. Well said.

[kitten18]

When either person in a couple decides they don't want to have children, or the couple decides they are financially unable to support more children.

 

I mean, really, are there any invalid reasons to cease having kids? If someone has a reason for not wanting more, that should be it.

:iagree:

[Maria from IN]

I don't wish to inflate an already sensitive issue, but Andrea Yates comes to mind.

 

Postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis are not to be trifled with, regardless of one's beliefs.

 

That's all I'll say about that. :001_smile:

[BakersDozen]

Couples who cannot physically or emotionally care for another child should prevent conception via artificial or natural methods.

:iagree: The couple we ran into last night who has nothing and relies on others to provide for literally everything in their life from food to clothing to housing should probably not be talking about bringing more dc into this world. :glare:

 

If either member of a couple doesn't want more for any reason, that is valid for them.

 

I have to confess that I struggle mightily with this. I cannot imagine one person making the decision for both people - not a decision as huge as having/not having more dc. If my dh said, "No more" to me things would not go well for us if he simply decided on his own that "we" were done. But then what could I do? I can't exactly force him to have more dc (the logistics of that are quite unimagineable, really). I don't know...it just seems incredibly unfair that one party would have the right to make a monumental decision like this for both involved.

 

This is a very emotional topic for me, can you tell? Too many friends who've been told "We're done" by their dh's yet my friends weren't done and their "mommy" heart is hurting even years later. :(

[linders]

Any reason - financial, emotional, physical. I do not believe anyone should have children who is not ready/capable on all those fronts of caring for those children in a loving and secure manner. And IMHO, God had no intention otherwise when he mandated, "Be fruitful and multiply." I believe that was intended in the vein of a blessing, not a coercive requirement.

[Melinda in VT]

:iagree: The couple we ran into last night who has nothing and relies on others to provide for literally everything in their life from food to clothing to housing should probably not be talking about bringing more dc into this world. :glare:

 

I have to confess that I struggle mightily with this. I cannot imagine one person making the decision for both people - not a decision as huge as having/not having more dc. If my dh said, "No more" to me things would not go well for us if he simply decided on his own that "we" were done. But then what could I do? I can't exactly force him to have more dc (the logistics of that are quite unimagineable, really). I don't know...it just seems incredibly unfair that one party would have the right to make a monumental decision like this for both involved.

 

This is a very emotional topic for me, can you tell? Too many friends who've been told "We're done" by their dh's yet my friends weren't done and their "mommy" heart is hurting even years later. :(

 

But if your friends had more children when their DHs didn't want them, then your friends would be making the decision to both people in their marriages, right? It's tough when partners don't agree.

 

I come down on the side of one No means no more kids because I think the damage done to a family when one parent is forced to have more kids than he or she wants is greater than the hurt done to a parent who can't have as many kids as he or she wants.

[gingersmom]

After spending $100,000 on therapies for my son there was no more money left for food/shelter, so the thought of another child was moot.

[PeacefulChaos]

Obviously opinions will differ from couple to couple, but what do you personally consider valid reasons for postponing or ceasing having babies?

 

Postponing or ceasing reproduction would involve using barrier, double barrier, hormonal, or surgical birth control method or methods that have minimal failure rates.

 

I think there are tons of valid reasons.

First off, a woman's body needs time to recoup after having a baby. So obviously birth control would be necessary to ensure that she wouldn't get pregnant until she felt ready (no getting pg again just shortly after having a baby, etc).

Beyond that, there are few reasons that aren't valid, imo. I can't really think of any at the moment, with the exception of the people who always say 'we'll ttc after _____' (we get a promotion, we buy a house, we do some other thing that we consider 'necessary' to the well being of our future child). I've found that often times those people continue to move their plans for children farther and farther away, as they accomplish each thing and something else pops up in its place. Then many times they don't have children at all. Maybe having children was never important to them, in which case that is their business, not mine. But I do know some who just let time get away from them, and ended up never having children that they really did want, but they waited too long. I've also found that most married couples, even if they decide to have children when they are still in college, etc, make it work. It might be a little hard, but I think it's much better to have kids and have life a little hard than to wait forever to have them.

Anyway, for me personally, I was on the bc pill when we got married, for about a year or a little more, at which point we didn't ttc necessarily, but I did wonder if I would be able to have kids, so I was shocked when I got pg. I got pg with DS7 the summer of our 2 year anniversary. I went back on the bc pill after DS7 was born for the reason I mentioned above (I tried that stupid patch first - it was awful!). I didn't want to get pg again right away. I went off it when he was 9 months old and got pg with DS6 shortly after DS7 turned 1. After DS6, I got the Mirena IUD because we weren't sure we even wanted any more kids - we had always said 2-3. I knew it wouldn't be any time soon, at any rate, and I HATED taking the pill. It was a pain. I had actually considered getting my tubes tied when I had my c/s for DS6, but about halfway through the pregnancy I just didn't feel right about it. So anyway, the IUD it was. I was sure we were done having kids about the summer that DS6 was 1.5 or so (and had gotten my body back to looking pre-pregnancy! I never had a problem losing the pg weight, but my body was different, but at that point it was close enough. :) ) but then DH had started mentioning stuff here and there - not really saying he wanted another, per se, but just in comments here and there. Then DH's grandmother died, and she had 6 kids, and her funeral was just so full of family and life, etc. Seeing the legacy she left behind convinced me that we could have another, so I had the IUD removed the month before DS6 turned 2. 2-3 months later, I had an ectopic pregnancy - after that all cleared up, I went BACK on the bc pill for 3 months, because they wanted me to wait that long before trying to get pg again. I went off the pill in July of 2008 and was pg within 2 months. We knew I would get my tubes tied during the c/s when DD was born, from the very beginning. In fact, I wanted the kids close together so I had a time limit - had I not gotten pregnant before February of 2009 - therefore having the new baby before DS6 turned 4 - DH would go and get a vasectomy. We were never avid 'triers' - after the first one, I was generally pretty fertile. :D

Anyway, I got my tubes tied during my c/s with DD in May of 2009. I don't regret it. We knew our family was complete. Sure, there has always been (and probably will always be) part of me that would just keep having kids - because I like having kids (but I DON'T like it so much when they are babies! I'm different from a lot of women that way!) and because I hate having to remember to take bc pills (the ep took me out of the running for the IUD again), so I'd just end up pg! :lol: So we had to do something permanent. Our economic status has a little bit to do with it - We currently live in a 3 bedroom house, and wouldn't have room for more kids, and having more kids would also have the possibility of stressing us financially - but at the same time, I wouldn't let that change our minds if we WANTED more or felt like we SHOULD have more. But we didn't. :)

Adoption is never out of the question for us. At least not so far. We aren't looking into it or anything, but it would be an option if we chose/felt led to take that route.

I also forgot to address NFP - I know some people use it and find it simple, etc, but I would find it to be a colossal pain in the neck. I would have ended up with many children had we even considered not using bc of some other sort!! :)

I also don't believe that 'be fruitful and multiply' means having as many kids as possible, or doing nothing to prevent having kids for as long as we live. I see it as something that was given to people to populate the earth. I think how fruitful we are and how much we multiply is something that is individual (well, it's a couple's decision, but i think you probably get the point) and between us and God.

Edited December 30, 2011 by PeacefulChaos

[jar7709]

Any reason is perfectly valid. Parenting should be a choice.

 

:iagree:

My family feels complete with two children. Some families are bigger. Some people choose not to be parents. Many people choose when to be parents. IMHO having options is a positive thing for this world.

[*********]

I do not believe there is a valid reason to use artificial birth control.

 

Seems we are a minority so far in this thread Chucki, but I agree with you.

[Momof3littles]

Any reason. I consider it completely a couple's choice how many children they wish to bring into this world, and at what point in time.

I can not imagine an "invalid" reason for not wanting any, or more, kids.

:iagree:

[kiana]

Whenever the couple is done. Children shouldn't be brought into the world not wanted.

 

As to the "when one person wants and the other doesn't" -- this is difficult and heartwrenching. But I would tend to err on the side of forcing someone who wants another child to go without rather than on the side of forcing someone to have a child that they don't want.

[regentrude]

As to the "when one person wants and the other doesn't" -- this is difficult and heartwrenching. But I would tend to err on the side of forcing someone who wants another child to go without rather than on the side of forcing someone to have a child that they don't want.

 

:iagree:

Because in that case, there is no child suffering from not being wanted by one parent.

[Jennifer3141]

Any reason. I consider it completely a couple's choice how many children they wish to bring into this world, and at what point in time.

I can not imagine an "invalid" reason for not wanting any, or more, kids.

 

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

Whatever reason human beings want to use to stop having babies they don't want is fine with me.

[Iucounu]

When either person in a couple decides they don't want to have children, or the couple decides they are financially unable to support more children.

 

I mean, really, are there any invalid reasons to cease having kids? If someone has a reason for not wanting more, that should be it.

Yep.

[tmulcahy]

With my third and last pregnancy I had severe blood clots in my legs. The pregnancy put a lot of stress on my body. My greater saphenous veins in both legs are now completely insufficient. I would love to have more children but it could be deadly for me. My husband had a vasectomy.

Edited December 30, 2011 by tmulcahy
spelling error-oops

[nmoira]

Not wanting more children (or any children) for any reason.

 

ETA: And it needn't be a well thought out and logically presented reason.

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

Different families have different philosophies about having children, when to have them, when to postpone/try, and how to go about doing it. You can't tell another family what to do. It's between the couple and God (if they believe in God) to decide. For our family we will never use anything not natural to space our children. We only use breastfeeding and NFP to space our children. We pray constantly about whether we can handle/should add another child to our family. We take many things into account, but ultimately prayer/God would trump any reasons that we might have to not have more kids (And this has happened before. We had 3 kids before dh was done with school and had a "real" job.). We will also consider alternate ways of adding to our family, like adoption, if we feel led to do that. We will probably stop having kids some day, but we will never say never, because we'll continue praying about it and do our best to answer the call from God.

[Night Elf]

The only 100% prevention is abstinence. That wouldn't go over too well in marriages. Try asking your spouse, "How do you feel about being celibate now honey, since we don't want anymore children?"

 

So, that implies that all married couples must have s3x and therefore must multiply like rabbits. Wow, I cannot even imagine what society would be like.

[pdalley]

We stopped for several reasons - DH is older than I am, we were at our financial limit - but mainly because I nearly bled to death after the birth of the last two. For some reason they can't figure out my blood does not clot easily when I am in labor. Dh had a vasectomy and I have a Merina due to female issues that improved dramatically with it.

 

To me its a very personal individual decision that only a family can make for itself.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I do not believe there is a valid reason to use artificial birth control.

 

Which is not to say that using NFP or abstinence, there couldn't be valid reasons for choosing not to procreate.

[Dustybug]

 

I have to confess that I struggle mightily with this. I cannot imagine one person making the decision for both people - not a decision as huge as having/not having more dc. If my dh said, "No more" to me things would not go well for us if he simply decided on his own that "we" were done. But then what could I do? I can't exactly force him to have more dc (the logistics of that are quite unimagineable, really). I don't know...it just seems incredibly unfair that one party would have the right to make a monumental decision like this for both involved.

 

This is a very emotional topic for me, can you tell? Too many friends who've been told "We're done" by their dh's yet my friends weren't done and their "mommy" heart is hurting even years later. :(

 

This post hits me where it hurts right now. My DH is at a point where he feels like he is probably done. I, on the other hand, have ALWAYS said since childhood that I wanted a large family. It saddens me to think that I possibly won't ever hold another of my own babies and since eight women in my church just had babies in the last 3 months, it is very difficult for me to see them as well. I look at my youngest now (nearly 18 mo. old) and I feel like I sort of have to cling to every moment, because I might not ever have another one this age again. But, I also agree with the others who said that it would be worse to have a child that one spouse did not want. I wouldn't ever want to risk my DH resenting me or a child because I guilted or coerced him into having more when he didn't want any. *sigh*

 

Seems we are a minority so far in this thread Chucki, but I agree with you.

 

:iagree:I'll join in here, except I am not against condom usage, just anything chemically-based. We generally only use breastfeeding and NFP.

[mommaduck]

Health

 

I am personally against hormonal bc.

Edited December 30, 2011 by mommaduck

[5kidsforME]

Health

 

 

This. my OB said your insides are takin' quite a hit. This will be my 5th C-section. He said I could potentially have another but, I'm feelin it. I think this is it for me. Dh feels the same way.

[NicAnn]

I think there are lots of valid reasons. But I do think that, from a public health standpoint, hormone birth control should be avoided. I won't say outlawed, but it should not be used for the average woman.

[Night Elf]

This post hits me where it hurts right now. My DH is at a point where he feels like he is probably done. I, on the other hand, have ALWAYS said since childhood that I wanted a large family. It saddens me to think that I possibly won't ever hold another of my own babies and since eight women in my church just had babies in the last 3 months, it is very difficult for me to see them as well. I look at my youngest now (nearly 18 mo. old) and I feel like I sort of have to cling to every moment, because I might not ever have another one this age again. But, I also agree with the others who said that it would be worse to have a child that one spouse did not want. I wouldn't ever want to risk my DH resenting me or a child because I guilted or coerced him into having more when he didn't want any. *sigh*

 

Well, it's really doomed if you do and doomed if you don't. Although I would rather say that SOME people will be bothered and SOME people won't. There is no way to throw a blanket opinion. FWIW, my DH decided he was done and had a vasectomy without any feeling that my opinion mattered. It was super tough. It is still super tough and it's been over 10 years now. It wasn't bad enough for me to end my marriage though. However, there is a small spot of major hurt and disappointment that will always live deep in my soul. I'm amost 100% certain it will be one of the things I think about when I'm nearing the end of my life. I am not really angry at him, not anymore. But I am hurt that I can't have what I want. But it is what it is.

[Pretty in Pink]

I think it's perfectly valid to use birth control when either one or both partners are not open to having more children, for whatever reason. I don't think one needs to find a good enough reason. Not wanting them, for whatever reason, is a good enough reason to avoid pregnancy.

[cindergretta]

I agree that any reason is valid for the couple for whom that reason is why they quit having dc.

 

ITU about being half of a couple where one (me) desperately wants another child and one (dh) is done. He was done after 3. Each one since has been added as he felt comfortable and changed his mind. I waited and I prayed and I hoped and for whatever reason (God??) his heart changed, one baby at a time.

 

We do not believe in permanent, hormonal, or chemical forms of birth control. IOW, barriers without chemicals, NFP, etc. But that is a belief for *us* and *us* alone. We deeply believe that each couple should do what is best for them, for their marriage, for their family. And we hope, that if that family is Christian, that decision process would include prayer. But honestly, it isn't for us (dh and/or me) to know or judge or decide. :)

 

eta - I really want to stress that this post is based on my own experience. I do not for a moment believe it would be the same for anyone else, nor do I believe it should be. It is just so personal, kwim? I don't know why my dh has slowly (one baby at a time) changed his mind. I know many women whose dhs never change their minds and it remains a secret ache in their heart. :( I would hate it if someone read what I posted and took away that *I* thought they needed more faith or God somehow favored my wishes/desires and not theirs. :( That couldn't be further from my thoughts or feelings. :grouphug

Edited December 30, 2011 by cindergretta

[5kidsforME]

. We deeply believe that each couple should do what is best for them, for their marriage, for their family. And we hope, that if that family is Christian, that decision process would include prayer. But honestly, it isn't for us (dh and/or me) to know or judge or decide. :)

 

I agree wholeheartdly.

[kiana]

We do not believe in permanent, hormonal, or chemical forms of birth control. IOW, barriers without chemicals, NFP, etc. But that is a belief for *us* and *us* alone. We deeply believe that each couple should do what is best for them, for their marriage, for their family. And we hope, that if that family is Christian, that decision process would include prayer. But honestly, it isn't for us (dh and/or me) to know or judge or decide. :)

 

:iagree:

[SailorMom]

When either person in a couple decides they don't want to have children, or the couple decides they are financially unable to support more children.

 

I mean, really, are there any invalid reasons to cease having kids? If someone has a reason for not wanting more, that should be it.

 

:iagree:

[Tap]

For us, it was many reasons. Here are a few that we considered.

 

We felt that we could afford 2-3 kids but moving up from there seems like it would get inherently more expensive for just every day life. ie Houses often have 3 bedrooms (I am adamant about my kids having their own rooms), cars that fit more people are common gas-guzzlers. Paying private school tuition (we didn't plan to homeschool when dh had his surgery) would have been out of the questions for more children.

 

We felt that we could give the kids the attention we wanted them to have. Dh was neglected as a child.

 

I enjoy working, and wanted to be able to continue. More than 3 kids would make daycare cost as much as my wages.

 

We had kids young (22yo) and we wanted to get to the point that we didn't have kids at home, when we were young enough to do some adult activities. They will be adults too, so they can go with us if they want. :0) This plan was discarded by taking on dd5, who was born when I was 36.

 

Emotionally, I have a hard time with little kids. I do fine with kids when they are over the age of 4yo, but I don't 'love' the baby stages. Raising dd5 with her issues has been the hardest 5 years of my life. I can't imagine doing this again.

 

I have lost one pregnancy at 22 weeks and I couldn't imagine having that happen again. We had one more child after that and it was a stressful pregnancy. I don't want to do that again.

 

We have no family support to help with the kids. It is just us. When my kids were little, I had to pay my mother to watch my kids. This last summer, I had to pay my niece (not dd5 mother) to watch her. That is just how it is in our families. :0(

 

I could go on and on. There was never a moment....not a single one....where dh and I thought we would like to have 'just one more'. DD5 is my great-niece. We thought we were going to foster her for a few months. If it was a straight up adoption from the beginning, we would not have done it.

[Mommyof4ks]

Any reason. I consider it completely a couple's choice how many children they wish to bring into this world, and at what point in time.

I can not imagine an "invalid" reason for not wanting any, or more, kids.

 

:iagree: It is totally up to the couple, and there are no invalid reasons for not having kids. There are certainly people I think should not have more kids, but that is not my business, because that too is between the couple. I fear for the health of one friend, but it is up to her, so all I can do is support her and pray that she survives this birth.

[elegantlion]

Any reason is perfectly valid. Parenting should be a choice.

 

:iagree:

 

We stopped at one on advice from the doctor. It was really just a confirmation of our beliefs anyway, we really weren't sure we wanted any. I recently told ds we got it right the first time, so we didn't need any more kids. :tongue_smilie:My body could not support another pregnancy, and my dh sure couldn't put up with another 9 months of me being pregnant. I was a horrible, horrible pregnant person.

[2squared]

Postponing or ceasing reproduction would involve using barrier, double barrier, hormonal, or surgical birth control method or methods that have minimal failure rates.

 

Just wanted to mention that two other methods are NFP and abstinence. We use a combination of the two. It's certainly not perfect, but it's the best choice for us. We are definitely at a point where our sanity and marriage needs a serious pause in baby making.

[annandatje]

Just wanted to mention that two other methods are NFP and abstinence. We use a combination of the two. It's certainly not perfect, but it's the best choice for us. We are definitely at a point where our sanity and marriage needs a serious pause in baby making.

 

Yes, I am familiar with NFP and used it for a number of years. However, my NFP use was not related to religious beliefs. I omitted the NFP option because it has what I would personally consider a "higher than minimal" failure rate even when woman is thoroughly educated and carefully monitors cycle and uses either or both cervical mucous and basal temp methods. I am well aware that many NFP advocates would dispute that statement.

[Ipsey]

When either person in a couple decides they don't want to have children, or the couple decides they are financially unable to support more children.

 

I mean, really, are there any invalid reasons to cease having kids? If someone has a reason for not wanting more, that should be it.

 

Could not agree more heartily.

 

I could never imagine myself saying to anyone, "You're going to have babies, dammit. BABIES, BABIES, BABIES, whether you want them, like them, can carry them, or afford them or not."

[Suzanne M]

For our personal family I don't believe there is a valid reason for purposely ceasing reproduction.

[annandatje]

I worded my original post poorly. I should have asked what reasons would make you not reproduce even if you had desire to do so. Obviously simply not wanting children is reason enough to not reproduce, and I personally do not consider it selfish at all to decide not to reproduce as long as your partner is in agreement with you.

 

We had intended to have a larger family but originally stopped because of the demands of a special needs child. Ultimately we served kids in ways other than bearing them ourselves.

 

Other reasons that I would stop in spite of wanting another: financial constraints that I could not reasonably foresee overcoming in near future; inability to adequately provide food clothing and shelter for existing children; time limitations; physical or mental health issues in either partner that would impede properly caring for child; knowledge of a high likelihood of passing along a significant genetic defect or disease; living in an area where war and/or genocide were occurring; living in an already unhappy unsatisfying marriage.

[mommaduck]

I worded my original post poorly. I should have asked what reasons would make you not reproduce even if you had desire to do so. Obviously simply not wanting children is reason enough to not reproduce, and I personally do not consider it selfish at all to decide not to reproduce as long as your partner is in agreement with you.

 

We had intended to have a larger family but originally stopped because of the demands of a special needs child. Ultimately we served kids in ways other than bearing them ourselves.

 

Other reasons that I would stop in spite of wanting another: financial constraints that I could not reasonably foresee overcoming in near future; inability to adequately provide food clothing and shelter for existing children; time limitations; physical or mental health issues in either partner that would impede properly caring for child; knowledge of a high likelihood of passing along a significant genetic defect or disease; living in an area where war and/or genocide were occurring; living in an already unhappy unsatisfying marriage.

We used to be against hormonal bc. Then we were against all bc. Then we were just for FAM/NFP. After eleven pregnancies and eight healthy babies, but several rough pregnancies, we (along with our priest) decided that that sterilization was a lesser ill than having a large family and a potentially disabled/deceased mother. If any of my children had been special needs, we probably would have also had a smaller family as well, depending upon their needs.

 

I have a brother that I believe (haven't been directly told) might be foregoing having children due to a genetic issue on his father's side (we only share a mother). On his dad's side, children are either born very bright or with moderate to severe learning disabilities (aka, some stay mentally 12yrs for life and are very dependent even if they are able to work, they have NO concept of money). We have a brother like this as well, his full brother...so he will be responsible for that brother one day. Not saying I agree with him, but I understand.

Edited December 30, 2011 by mommaduck

[Amy Jo]

Take your pick (in a nice way, not a snarky way):

 

* Because I am a B!#^& when I am pregnant, and I think my husband's been through enough.

* I got a girl after three beautiful boys. Four healthy kids! I am truly blessed.

* Labor with my last was hard. (Sunny side up). Really hard.

* I don't like being pregnant. Especially the last time, I was sick, not eating was actually painful, I didn't want anything healthy so I ate junk, didn't break that habit and now (2 years later) I have a lot of weight to lose.

* I have two kids for each hand. Three musketeers and a little princess.

* I don't have the finances for more. DH has a permanent back injury, we are unlikely to ever be rich. (Which is okay, Prov. 30:7-9 is my prayer.)

* I want to see the world after the kids grow up, since we started having kids early. With DD, I'll be 47 when she hits 18 - that's old enough.

* DH is also through.

* It's great to have tea whenever we want to (AND have energy AND privacy AND ...).

* My mother died of an aggressive cancer when she was in her 40s. Yeah, I have no other family history of breast cancer. But its always in the back of my mind, that no one is guarenteed a long life. I want to see them all grow up.

* I love the baby stage and breast-feeding and all that, but I love the big kid stage, the little kid stage, and the toddler stage too. I have a hard time seeing myself with a newborn.

 

Of course, these are my very personal reasons. I think each of us needs to follow our own heart.

Edited December 30, 2011 by mtcougar832