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Iucounu

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Everything posted by Iucounu

  1. I'm not so sure that it is. We're supposed to care for our children, and in extreme cases we may have to give our lives to save our children. The analysis is a little bit different at the very beginning of life, though. Is it really a good idea to orphan a child at the beginning of life? Doesn't the parent's life have value at least equal to the potential for life of a person not born yet? What if there are other children-- are we to leave them without a mother in order to bring a medically challenged pregnancy to fruition? If not, and that's the only differentiator, once again I think the value system may be wrong in completely disregarding the life of the mother. It just doesn't make sense to me from a logical or moral standpoint to have a rule that a mother's duty is to die to save an unborn child. I personally think it's a terrible situation, but that irrespective of any self-sacrificing motherly impulses, it's irresponsible to kill oneself in order that a child be born that one is also morally obligated to care for.
  2. I'd be shocked too. That sort of misinformation could actually hurt a child's educational and professional prospects down the line.
  3. How about this ode by Canadian cheese poet James McIntyre? Or this tragic poem?
  4. You can't assume there are no injuries in this case. I'm assuming there are significant injuries.
  5. ... or the hair shaving. A girl can look ordinary with short hair. I agree.
  6. Uness there are relevant facts not stated in the article, the lawsuit is frivolous. Hopefully a judge will see it that way and entertain a motion for attorney's fees.
  7. Try to verify whether what the IT person said is accurate. Then consider simpy removing it. In the meantime make sure the possibly infected computer is completely off your network (i.e. not connected to your wireless router), and I would let the kids use your other computers.
  8. If your husband was extended an offer of employment that he wanted to take, he shoud have taken it before it was rescinded. I don't think it's going to help to try to correct the record; the offer's off the table. One thing your husband could try is grabbing his cojones, going in there and telling them that he knows he's valuable to them or they wouldn't have kept him there this long, but that of course he has to keep looking for a job until they have actually hired him on. Part of the issue here is that he has weakly sat there and taken it as they suggest that it's his fault he hasn't been hired on. In your husband's place, I'd essentially tell them to sh** or get off the pot, while projecting that I knew my own worth and could go elsewhere. I'd repeat that I'd shown lots of patience with their endless shift changes in good faith, but that if there's not a job, I have to look elsewhere. You're always better off dealing from a position of strength. In the meantime I'd go ahead and work on the deck. He can make any number of excuses, but when the demands of the employer that will likely not hire him on permanently (and will likey fire him) interfere with his attempts to secure other employment, something has to give. It's time for your husband to push back appropriately. It's not time for him to simply quit, since that would worsen your financial situation in the short term. A side question: Are you sure he's getting paid for all this overtime that he's asked to work? I mean, are you directly in shared control of the finances and can see what he's getting paid, and can see the extra income from all the overtime at night, on the weekends etc.?
  9. Let me get this straight-- the judge imposed a sentence that the woman doesn't contest, then offered a measure of leniency that she accepted, and now she's complaining? Too bad she won't be forced to pay for wasting public resources with her BS complaint.
  10. One can be sexually dysfunctional without being celibate. If you really want to learn about this topic, I suggest reading up on it instead of guessing and making bad assumptions, based on what you admit are stereotypes. If one wants to discuss the prevalence of psychological causes of sexual dysfunction, one should eliminate physical causes as much as possible. Problems with low libido, arousal and achieving orgasm can all have physical causes as well as psychological ones. Explore the actual statistics and you may come away with a changed perspective. Nah. Sex and female bodies are overwhelmingly portrayed as desirable in U.S. culture, to the point that women are often objectified as objects of male desire. I suppose this might lead to a sort of "shame" at being desired just for one's sexual attributes, but it won't lead to shame over sex itself. In fact our culture is so sex-obsessed that I think many women feel that a level of sexual activity higher than they're naturally comfortable with should be adhered to. This could easily lead to angst of a sort, but not shame over sex itself, which tends to be glorifed. Meanwhile, kids are sometimes taught sexual techniques, how to apply condoms, etc. at school. This is the most open period in history about sexuality. I'm not going to make suggestions about seeking help, as they might be perceived as snide and you surely know how to seek out help on these issues if you would like to. Still, you sound like you have some sexual hang-ups that most definitely shouldn't be used to generalize about women or people in general. Men and women can struggle sexually, and it can be the result of parenting. You definitely can't conclude based on your own history that "women struggle with sexuality" in general. Sexual dysfunction statistics for men and women are available. They do reveal that more women than men experience inhibited desire, etc. but not that the majority do based on "shame". It's not natural for Christians or anyone else to have deep-seated embarrassment over nakedness and sexuality. We're not living in the Dark Ages. I'm sure that some religious groups preach more heavy-handedly about sexuality in general, and that certain types of people, such as gay people, are going to be more at risk for feeling bad about themselves sexually as a result of religion.
  11. None, though we do have an online gallery of family pictures. We have lots of other types of pictures on the walls.
  12. Go to aleks.com and click on the "free trial" link. This will give you a free trial that is quite limited, at 3 hours that must be used over the next 48 hours, but should be enough to find out if you'd like to use it.
  13. If she has a computer and web access, you might try m-w.com and dictionary.com . DS uses dictionary.com all the time. I do see value in learning to use paper books, but it's just the easiest way for him to look up words quickly from wherever he is.
  14. We found that one to be of too poor quality to use in learning-- portions missing at the seam, misprinted info, etc. This one is better although still not close to ideal: Replogle Globes Inflatable Political Globe, Light Blue Ocean Honestly, I don't know if a globe is a good thing on which to cheap out to that extent; good quality political globes seem to be only available at a higher price point, and not inflatable either. You should be able to find a good-quality laminated projection map that will do better for teaching. We bought this map and found it much better in terms of correctness and quality of the map itself, though the lamination is thin and it must be protected if you want to avoid wrinkles: World Wall Map Deluxe Laminated 50" x 32"
  15. That sounds about par for the course. I've never read The Metamorphosis, but can highly recommend The Castle-- hilarious.
  16. Big Dog, Little Dog; Go, Dog, Go; Sam and the Firefly Doctor Seuss books, inc. In A People House The Secret of Foghorn Island and other early readers by Geoffrey Hayes-- and also A Bear By Himself, really beautiful The Amazing Bone, Doctor De Soto etc. by William Steig Tentacles!: Tales of the Giant Squid; Hungry, Hungry Sharks; Platypus!; Raptor Pack etc. Little Bear, Where the Wild Things Are and several others written and/or illustrated by Maurice Sendak One Monster After Another; The Wizard Comes to Town; Professor Wormbog in Search of the Zipperump-a-Zoo Lamont, the Lonely Monster The One Small Square series Need a House? Call Ms. Mouse Trouble for Trumpets / Trumpets in Grumpetland The Garden of Abdul Gasazi The Hole Book The Geranium On The Windowsill Just Died But Teacher You Went Right On Free to Be You and Me Goodnight Moon; The Runaway Bunny; The Little Island DK Eyewitness books (we have a slew of them and both boys pull them out regularly) Is a Blue Whale the Biggest Thing There Is? Anno's Mysterious Multiplying Jar Choose Your Own Adventure series (esp. Your Code Name is Jonah and some others by Edward Packard) Goosebumps and Goosebumps Horrorland series The Three Investigators series The Tripods trilogy The Mouse and the Motorcycle The Mysterious Benedict Society The Dangerous Book for Boys The Mouse and His Child (though somewhat depressing for much of it) The Magician's Nephew Ender's Game Interstellar Pig The Stainless Steel Rat The Cyberiad The Wind in the Willows A Wrinkle in Time Startide Rising Maus Archy and Mehitabel Hilaire Belloc's Cautionary Verses Where the Sidewalk Ends The Ultimate Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (collection in one book) Bill the Galactic Hero A Smithsonian Book of Comic-Book Comics Duck comics by Carl Barks (love 'em all without exception) The Far Side collections The Blue Fairy Book The Adventures of Tintin Little Lit: Folklore and Fairy Tale Funnies The Great Book of Optical Illusions; More Optical Illusions The Library of Curious and Unusual Facts Scary Stories Treasury; Three Books to Chill Your Bones Alfred Hitchcock story collections (Monster Museum, etc.) Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid (currently going through this one) The Cartoon Guide to the Universe, Part I (love this whole series, actually) Time and Space of Uncle Albert George's Secret Key to the Universe The Magic of Reality Horrible Histories and Horrible Science (neither of us has read them all yet) National Geographic Maze Adventures Metropolis: Ten Cities, Ten Centuries City: A Story of Roman Planning and Construction; Castle; Underground; The Way Things Work, etc. The Lady or the Tiger?: and Other Logic Puzzles M.C. Escher Kaleidocycles Exploring the Deep Frontier: The Adventure of Man in the Sea
  17. I never said better; I said rare and precious. I think that's not a bad choice of words. Gold is rare and precious because of its rarity as well as its intrinsic qualities; but it's not better in general than any other material simply because of those facts (for instance, I'd rather use steel to build the structure of a skyscraper). Thoroughbred racehorses don't make the best draft animals either, and we need those (or needed them before the invention of the tractor, anyway). If the world were full of nothing but astrophysicists, there would be no one around to do all the other things that need doing. In that sense, some people with very high intelligence are just a natural part of human society; though there are fewer than those of average intelligence, both are certainly useful. I'd never say that a person with higher intelligence is more of a person, a better person, or any of that as a result. Still, if you like, gifted people are better-- at the sorts of intellectual activities that make them different. They have superior abilities in some areas. They tend to learn faster and better, may be more creative, and may also be focused / driven than normal. This makes them more capable, i.e. better at doing some things. It should be possible to note the rarity and specialness of intellectual gifts without angst over any of this. It's not an insult to note correctly that a person is average in a certain way, or that another is not. We achieve through a combination of ability and diligence. My nephew with Down syndrome will never do a math problem, no matter how hard he tries; whole regions of human endeavor are completely closed to him. My older son will almost certainly never be a professional athlete even though he likes sports, and no matter how hard he tried it doesn't seem likely he could go to the Olympics. Etc. etc. etc. I agree, but that doesn't mean that achievement depends only on hard work. Instead both ability and attitude can both limit achievement. Intelligence is always a limiting factor in an intellectual field, but only possibly so in a non-intellectual field. Effort is almost always a limiting factor in all fields, but not for a few highly motivated people. Overcoming adversity can result in humility and toughness, both of which are good to have, but aside from that possibility I would never wish disabilities on anyone, and would try to remediate them when possible. I imagine that you have lined up some services for your son in an attempt to do that, despite your feelings that the dyslexia is core to his personality.
  18. Maybe, maybe not. I think that parents of MG kids might be just as or more likely to bemoan the pitfalls of giftedness, actually, just as every so often parents engage in a flurry of "me too" clains about SPD, claims of photographic memory, one-upmanship on early milestones (I once saw a mother claim that her daughter had assisted in her own delivery without a hint of sarcasm), etc. If a certain claimed attribute of giftedness-- including any negative attribute-- is lent credibility within a group such that a shared-hysteria critical mass is reached, I think that some me-too mommies will convince themselves that their children suffer from just about anything to fit in. (Which of course in no way suggests that some gifted people don't feel alienated as in the other recent thread, as of course some actually do.) I suspect that parents of PG children are less prone to this hysteria and more likely to be relieved when their children show normalcy in any way. However, parents of PG children certainly aren't going to be completely free from competitiveness in general. I also know one parent of a PG child who seems in my opinion to suffer from borderline Munchausen's by proxy.
  19. Barring some sort of learning disability or other issues, yes, I think a rising third grader should have all of the indicated knowledge and skills.
  20. That's not obvious, and in fact I'd say there are plenty of studies showing improvement with reading intervention for learning-disabled kids, but we need not argue about it if it makes you uncomfortable. If you would like to debate this, let's start a new thread. You were advocating simply not worrying about it when children learn to read late by modern standards, using just getting started at six as a perfectly fine way to learn to read, and using your own children as apparent examples of kids who were learning to read just fine. I continue to think that being years behind the learning curve on reading is not ideal-- and research shows that I'm right, though there's no need to go into it here, I think, as it might just upset you further. I don't think that avoiding phonics instruction is a good idea for children who are behind, or for any children. Now, I'm a layperson-- but knowing what I know, if I encountered a learning-disabled child who was reading late, and had been taught with avoidance of phonics because that seemed easiest, I'd by no means feel certain that the avoidance of phonics wasn't responsible for part of the delay. Sight words do offer attractive advantages in increasing fluency, but they're only part of the puzzle. Pointing out norms from forty years ago is fine, but it doesn't mean that they were optimal. As another poster has noted, pointing out that children who were initially behind achieved some proficiency also doesn't disprove that the reading delay (or teaching methods potentially causing it) held the child back. From this perspective, while your anecdote about learning to read at age six and not being held back is fine for inclusion in the thread, it certainly does not show that you wouldn't have done better academically if you'd started earlier, had better reading instruction, etc.; and it also certainly doesn't show anything about late-begun or phonics-avoiding reading instruction being just fine in general. It's actually an objective term when based on a frame of reference. A delay is measurable: it's the measurement between a start point and an end point of the delay duration. When I speak of reading delays I am speaking of delays putting a child substantially behind (years behind, if you like) the average age at which children learn to read in the United States. Vague without statistics, perhaps, but capable of precise definition and not subjective: based on a norm. I'm sorry you're so upset. Of course I mean all my general comments in the thread. I'd have to be a complete idiot to do what you're suggesting; reading in context, I think it's clear I meant to refer to the general comments. Sheesh.
  21. Great, thoughtful post, and I agree. I think there's a tendency on the part of people not to want to believe that there's a problem, and a tendency of others to want to reassure them too, especially when that reassurance helps to reinforce their belief that they haven't done wrong by their own children. This creates an atmosphere rife for such stuff as "better late than early" to spread like wildfire. I think your points about the fast pace of change these days are excellent. Also, I want to be clear that I wasn't aiming any of my GENERAL COMMENTS ON READING, READING INSTRUCTION OR ADVICE ABOUT READING at anyone in particular, and certainly not at the OP.
  22. It's definitely true that people should try to find best-fit situations, and that might be harder in one way or another for gifted people. It was certainly hard for me, and I wouldn't say that I am optimally surrounded by like-minded people at all times-- who is? I just don't think it's useful to feed the tortured-genius meme, which seems to get along just fine without any assistance; I don't think that it's so tough to find commonality with a wide range of people, for someone who tries, enough to combat any feelings of loneliness; I don't buy into the idea that giftedness directly leads to loneliness; I don't believe in preparing children to have emotional problems they don't actually have, instead preferring to teach them how to live better and avoid problems if possible; and I am extremely skeptical of sweeping, stereotypical statements which may be made in attempts to increase visibility or turn a buck.
  23. Encourage him to read more often, including sometimes out loud to you, books he already knows well. Read out loud (these and other books) simultaneously with him some of the time-- you can try lagging him by a fraction of a second some of the time to make sure he's doing the actual work, but he may not openly notice. Find and play reading board games or other games. Do more phonics work. Get him more of whatever he likes to read the most.
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