Would you let your 7yo ds have a TV in his room?

[Joker]

We wouldn't here but I would also have a hard time telling my brother no. Our dds have a small tv in the game room that they can watch DVDs on. No one here gets a tv in their bedroom.

[clementine]

Nope, nope, nope. Not worth the issues that could arise from it. I have tweens/teens......no TV in bedrooms here.

[Just Kate]

He sounds very generous. I wonder if you think he might get hurt feelings because maybe his kids have TVs in their rooms? Maybe it seems like a judgment of his parenting?

 

BINGO! His kids DO have TVs in their rooms. His kids actually have a lot of things that I wouldn't want my kids to have. And I know that he thinks that some of my parenting choices are a bit "weird", like homeschooling (although he has never said it out loud). I guess I'm a bit worried that he will feel like I am judging him (and I didn't even realize that! Thanks Alte Veste Academy!!!).

[BigMamaBird]

We have a strict, No TV in the Bedroom policy for everyone. That includes dh and I. So no, I wouldn't get one of our kids a TV for their room, regardless of age.

[nmoira]

No, nay, never. Not for anyone in the family.

[In the Rain]

Nope! We wouldn't have TVs in anyone's bedroom.

[Alte Veste Academy]

BINGO! His kids DO have TVs in their rooms. His kids actually have a lot of things that I wouldn't want my kids to have. And I know that he thinks that some of my parenting choices are a bit "weird", like homeschooling (although he has never said it out loud). I guess I'm a bit worried that he will feel like I am judging him (and I didn't even realize that! Thanks Alte Veste Academy!!!).

 

You're welcome. :) I wish I could come up with the perfect thing for you to say though. Honestly, in your position, I would accept the TV, put it in a common area and only address it not being in DS's room if your brother brings it up. When worried about offending like this, I tend toward taking the punches for myself (aka embrace the "weird" and turn it into good-natured self-deprecation). You could say something along like, "DBrother, you are so kind but you know how I can be about these things.... Would you like some bean dip? It's delish!"

 

Bean dip! Not just for homeschooling redirection anymore! :tongue_smilie:

Edited December 15, 2011 by Alte Veste Academy

[Tap]

Other....

 

My kids have had their own tvs for years. Ds17 got the first around that age. They do not have cable or regular tv hooked up to them, only movies or Nintendo games (we only have age appropriate games in the house).

 

Dd13 got hers a little younger.

 

DD5 has one now, it was ds17s. He hadn't watched it in years, so when she asked for it, he said ''sure". She watched a Blues Clues on it last night before bed, and that was the first time it was on in 2 weeks.

 

Honestly, they don't use them that much. They may watch something if they have a sleep over or if they don't want to watch what we have on tv. They were used maybe an hour or two a week.

 

I think it helped that they didn't have regular tv hooked up. They would watch a movie and then it was over....it didn't just get left on and watched for hours.

 

I never had to limit it....they monitored it themselves. For our older kids (I know this isn't the case for everyone), they do very, very good without restrictions. Due to this, we have very few rules in our house. We don't make rules unless there is a problem, and then it is only made to address a specific issue, not just a blanket rule for everyone.

 

THIS is very likely to be different for dd5..she has an impulsive, gratification driven personality, and likes to push the limits. But, even for her...so far so good.

[3Blessings]

No- a TV is another reason to be alone, away from the family. We want our kids to be together, play, be with us, etc.

[Mommy22alyns]

Absolutely not.

I would also humbly point out that screen time before bed time is a prominent cause of all kinds of sleep problems.

[jujsky]

We had TVs in our rooms as kids, but I won't allow my children to have TVs in their rooms until they're much older. I think there's a lot more objectionable material on now then there was "back in my day." ;) Besides -- I didn't have cable in my room, just whatever 3 non-cable channels the rabbit-ears would pick up. We have 3 TVs in the house and 2 kids. They can both watch different things in different rooms if they really want to. I have grown so used to the TV that I have a difficult time falling asleep if it isn't on. I don't want that for my kids. My parents' hearts were in the right place, but looking back, I wish I hadn't had my own TV.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Yes, and I do in the 5yo's room, the 8yo's room and dd12 and 13 have one in their room. Just because it's in their room doesn't mean they have free access to it; I'm the one that gets to decide if it can be used or not. It's never been an issue. We don't have cable so they can only watch dvd's or Netflix and then only with permission at certain times.

 

I've never had a problem with them "sneaking" or watching anything they shouldn't. If we ever do the tv goes out.

 

With 7 people in the house we rarely agree on programming. It's nice to be able to occasionally let the little ones watch their own show while the olders watch a movie and dh and I can watch something that they wouldn't be interested in. (Right now we are revisiting Peroit) It isn't an every evening event but maybe twice a week. It's also nice for sleepovers...so I don't have to watch Bolt twice in a row.:tongue_smilie:

[sewingmama]

There have been all kinds of studies linking children having a TV in their bedrooms with all sorts of negative outcomes- obesity, poor grades, poor sleep, and even a lower likelihood of completing a college degree by age 26.

 

My neice and nephew have had tv's in their rooms since a young age and have issues with all of those things you mentioned.

 

And although I hate to say it -they are so boring to talk to -all they talk about is tv shows. My neice will often come up to me and launch into some great, fantastical conversation and the whole time I think she is talking about one of her friends and my eyes are getting wider and wider as the story gets more crazy and wild and then suddenly it hits me -she is talking about the plot of yet another tv show but the way she talks about it is as if she is talking about something that happened to her and her friends :glare:

 

So yeah -no tv in my kids bedrooms ever and limited tv at other times.

[Truscifi]

Nope. I have enough trouble with ds8 staying up late to read. If he had a tv in there he would never sleep.

[5LittleMonkeys]

If he had a tv in there he would never sleep.

 

Truscifi, I'm not picking on you specifically but your's was the most recent post where I've seen a similar remark.

 

I'm trying to understand the mentality with this kind of statement. Are you saying that just because the tv is in there that you forfeit all parental control? I don't understand.

[rocketgirl]

Tv is fine, with limits. There are amazing programs that get my kids to think about things they just can't see yet like the bottom of the ocean, and other parts of the world. TV isn't really the problem, its the access I think. My oldest have tvs, not because we decided they should have a tv & then bought them one, they inherited them, and they can only use them to watch dvds. I don't see anything wrong with watching a dvd now and then, I love movies and they can be so educational!! Anyway, we only have actual tv access in our main living room, where anything they want to see, we see & monitor it. But there is 'tv time', no unlimited access. Here, we are the parents, any dvds our kids have, we bought, or rented, so we know exactly what they are watching and when. We have allowed our kids to watch Disney channel and Nick shows that we've had to since nix. But, I don't see any problem with a kid having a tv in their room that isn't hooked up to cable, if they know when they can use it.

[ma23peas]

None of my children, oldest is 16...would ever have a TV in their room or a computer...all computer use is in the main family room. Even though we homeschool, I do not need another device ir distraction to take away from family time or quality self enrichment...TV just fits neither of those in their room.

[MamaSheep]

Absolutely not. I might be willing to carve out a little corner of the family room with a beanbag chair, a set of head phones, and his own personal tv. But in his room? Under no circumstances.

[lorrainejmc]

No TVs in anyone's room here. We only have one TV. I simply could not trust the UK TV not to show totally inappropriate shows and advertising before the 9pm watershed.

[hsmamainva]

We don't do TV in the bedrooms here either.

 

I have one in the master bedroom and, other than the one in the family room, it's the only one that has cable on it....and only limited. I think I get the first 70 channels up there, that's it, whereas we get the rest of them on the family room TV...until you get to the pay ones and we only have HBO....for Game of Thrones, doncha know! ;)

 

My 20 year old and 17 year old each have a TV in their room, but only for their Playstation and X-box (respectively). It doesn't have cable or TV reception.

 

My 12 year old and 9 year old don't have a TV or game system in their rooms. My 9yo only plays the Wii, which is in the family room, but she doesn't play it very often. My 12yo just plays with his siblings game systems in their rooms.

[Pamela H in Texas]

When talking to your brother, you can simply play it off as your weirdness rather than judging him. Of course, make sure to thank him for the thought too.

[Joyofsixreboot]

No TV's in bedrooms here. Period!

[Lisbeth]

Even before I had children, I said I would never allow tvs in their rooms. It is a very strong belief of mine. I would also also have NO trouble telling my brother that the tv would be going in a common area. We are strict about tv...as in, I allow very little viewing anyway.

[nono]

I'm firmly in the camp of no TVs in the bedrooms for anyone, but not for any high moral reason. It's just one more thing to dust, and therefore I say NO! ;)

[lulubelle]

Not at any age.

[Chris in VA]

No- a TV is another reason to be alone, away from the family. We want our kids to be together, play, be with us, etc.

 

:iagree: and with all those who mentioned how TV can separate a family. Personally, I can wait until my kids go to bed to watch things I want to watch.

 

We have a Super Bowl party every year, and set up a second TV downstairs in the basement. What we noticed the first year we did that was that we were splitting off to watch different stuff. That's the last thing we need. We just have it there that one night, then it goes away until the next year.

 

I want my kiddos to do other stuff besides screens--they will usually choose screens over just about anything, even dd, who LOVES to read. (Middle son is the exception--TV is too sedentary for him.)

[JessReplanted]

No - we are absolutely anti-TV in the kids' rooms.

And, we don't even have one in our room.

 

We have 1 TV in the whole house (the old fashioned box kind - although

we are getting a new/used flat screen for Christmas) and we are surviving ok. ;)

[Once Again]

I feel like having one tv in the house is enough.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I voted other, because my 7 and almost 9 year old have a TV in their room, BUT, it's not hooked up to the cable, so they can't actually watch TV on it. They can watch DVDs, but the DVDs are in another location and they have to have permission first. They can play Wii on it, but also have to ask permission first. We have a no screen time during the school week policy. We don't have a family room or play room, nor do we have a TV in the main living areas, so their rather large bedroom is their play area, which is why we put a TV in there. So, I'd let my 7 year old have a TV in their room under certain circumstances, and with some control over how frequently it is on.

[MelanieM]

I wouldn't, but in general we use our rooms for sleeping only (and some reading); most of our play and leisure are done in common areas.

 

We don't have televisions in the rooms of adults either, though. Same premise: bedrooms are primarily for sleeping.

 

I'd gladly take the tv for a playroom or den :)

 

This. No televisions in bedrooms in our house.

[MamaT]

My kids all have TV's in their rooms, even my 8yo & 5yo (they share a room).

 

HOWEVER...

 

They don't get cable/air channels on them. They are used only with their DVD players and that's all.

 

Same here. None of them have them on 24/7. One dd probably hasn't turned hers on for a month. We haven't had any of our kids turn into couch potatoes yet. :001_smile:

[Lizzie in Ma]

Never

[Trish]

We don't have TVs in the kids rooms nor do we ever plan on having TVs in the kids rooms. They can watch in the den or sometimes in our bedroom. I would, personally, probably direct the giver to something different - depending on the cost of the TV, maybe an iPod touch or Nintendo DS type hand-held device or something non-tech.

 

:iagree:

 

Yes this is one of our non-negotiable rules. It's too easy to lose track of WHAT your kids are watching, and for how long, if the TV is out of sight. And I'm sure the programming will be worse in 5 years when you care more about the channel surfing. Including the commercials.

[Mama2Many4]

My kids have TV's in their rooms as well as cable (parental controls) and video games. My DH and I have a TV in our room as well as the living room. We're big TV people. It's what we enjoy to do. We spend time together as a family plenty, but when my kids want to watch cartoons or play video games I'd rather they do it in their room. My DH and I enjoy playing our own video games as well. If YOU want to accept it for your son to have in his room, then accept it. Everyone on a forum is going to have a differing opinion. Doesn't make yours wrong.

[leeannpal]

Yes, my 9 year old has had a t.v. in her room since she was 5. However, as an ADHD kid, she rarely sits sstill, so staying in her room for hours watching t.v. just doesn't happen. It is rare for her to sit long enough to watch one t.v. show. She's always on the go. Maybe if she were really into t.v. I would have reconsidered it. Oh, and her t.v. is one of only two in the house. If her dad or I want to watch something in her room, she knows it is fair game since one t.v. is in there.

[mereminerals]

Each of our kids has a tv in their room. There is no cable linked to those rooms. They are only able to watch DVD's and the boys play the xbox in their room.

[In2why]

Truscifi, I'm not picking on you specifically but your's was the most recent post where I've seen a similar remark.

 

I'm trying to understand the mentality with this kind of statement. Are you saying that just because the tv is in there that you forfeit all parental control? I don't understand.

 

 

 

Great question. For me I don't want to have to parent their TV watching in their bedrooms. I could do it, but the rewards aren't worth it. But that is just a small consideration, for us, I want us to be together as a family when we have screen time.

[NotSoObvious]

NEVER.

[NotSoObvious]

Yes, my 9 year old has had a t.v. in her room since she was 5. However, as an ADHD kid, she rarely sits sstill, so staying in her room for hours watching t.v. just doesn't happen. It is rare for her to sit long enough to watch one t.v. show. She's always on the go. Maybe if she were really into t.v. I would have reconsidered it. Oh, and her t.v. is one of only two in the house. If her dad or I want to watch something in her room, she knows it is fair game since one t.v. is in there.

 

See, and for my ADHD dd, TV makes her symptoms sooooo much worse. Funny how different things work for different kids.

[Lady Marmalade]

We have several TV's strewn about the house... four in watchable areas if you count the one on the screen porch- though that one only gets used in warm weather. ;)

 

I've thought about doing that very thing for my DS as a gift. He would LOVE to be able to sit on his bed and relax in the morning when he gets up amd watch what he wants to watch, or spend time in his room playing a video game while his older sister is still doing school. We may still do it, and move one of the TV's into his room and make a nice set up for him.

 

I think it's a generous gift, and would totally accept it. You can set limitations for your DS as far as when he watches, what he watches, etc.

[TheApprentice]

I am actually totally against tv's being in any bedroom at any age (including our own).

[Tarreymere]

We don't allow tv or computers or electronic games in the bedrooms. Even for us! I think the kids get more than enough screen time even just with the tv in the living room turned on for a couple hours in the evening. I prefer peace and quiet, and I'm more of a reader than a screen person (except for WTM and WOW :D).

I have a son-in-law who feels the more the merrier and they have a tv in pretty much every room in their house, the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, the den, all the bedrooms.......makes me nuts, but he is a bit ADHD and this is actually calming to him. I'm not really keen on my grandson age 2 having his own tv complete with cable, but my son-in-law considers that normal since that is how things are done in his family. My daughter just shrugs and curls up with a book and tunes the noise out.

[Ellie]

BINGO! His kids DO have TVs in their rooms. His kids actually have a lot of things that I wouldn't want my kids to have. And I know that he thinks that some of my parenting choices are a bit "weird", like homeschooling (although he has never said it out loud). I guess I'm a bit worried that he will feel like I am judging him (and I didn't even realize that! Thanks Alte Veste Academy!!!).

Some people think they're being judged because they know in their heart of hearts that they made bad decisions and so, yes, they are being judged negatively. You can't help that. And he's judging you right back, yes? There you go.

 

At any rate, you could make a compromise: put the TV in your ds's room but don't hook it up to cable or satellite. If you don't have wii, don't get it and put it in there. Your ds can watch DVDs.

 

Or you could be all warm and fuzzy and sweetness and light as you gush all over yourself thanking him but refusing the TV. Maybe there's a membership to something local your brother could give your ds instead?

[KatieH]

My kids have TV's in their rooms as well as cable (parental controls) and video games. My DH and I have a TV in our room as well as the living room. We're big TV people. It's what we enjoy to do. We spend time together as a family plenty, but when my kids want to watch cartoons or play video games I'd rather they do it in their room. My DH and I enjoy playing our own video games as well. If YOU want to accept it for your son to have in his room, then accept it. Everyone on a forum is going to have a differing opinion. Doesn't make yours wrong.

 

:iagree:

 

 

I used to be reeeeally uppity about how my kids would NEVER have TVs in their rooms. We didn't even have cable/satellite for a long time. But I'm over it, lol. My 10yo has a TV in her room, with satellite and a dvd player, and so do my 3 and 6yo who share a room. Maybe I just have exceptionally obedient children (:lol:), but I've never once had an issue with any of them watching TV without permission. We also have the satellite safety features on, so if they try to watch anything over G rating we have to put in a code. I've never really had an issue with any of them wanting to do nothing but watch TV. Sometimes my 3 year old whines when I tell her that her tv time is over, but I simply remind her that if she gives me an attitude about it, she won't be allowed to watch any at all the next day, and she gets over it and goes off to play. If I felt like it was becoming a problem, that all they wanted to do was watch TV and they were eschewing things like reading and imaginative play, then I'd address it.

 

That said, I certainly respect and understand why many people don't do TV in kids' rooms, or at all.

 

BUT, I think that you, OP, should feel free to accept the gift.

[HappyCrazyMama]

I feel like having one tv in the house is enough.

:iagree: More than enough sometimes.:glare: It's not my screen of choice.:tongue_smilie:

[elegantlion]

My ds had a TV at that age. It was hooked up to cable, he'd watch Disney or Nick sometimes. He still has the same TV in his room, now with no cable. He never watches it, it's only used for gaming. Right now it's sitting on the floor unplugged. He rarely watches TV.

 

He does have his own computer setup, so that is his screen, but he didn't have that at 7.

[jenn-]

My DD had a TV in her room from a young age. She lost the privilege about the time she turned 7. She hasn't had one since. None of the kids have them in their room, but they do have access to a TV we call theirs in the den for their limited screen time.

[whiskeywife]

i let my 2 boys have tv's in their rooms and i was sorry that i did. i could control it when they were young, but eventually i had to remove them. tv's were going on after they were suppose to be sleeping etc... i have netflix. they are savy enough to get netflix on the wii etc... and i found out afterward what they watched. also, you can get online (somehow) with wii and they can look at anything. its just really hard to control. also, it cuts down on family time when they are in their rooms for hours on end with all the entertainment. i took the wii out and xbox. they have to play it in our family room now. ;)

 

The wii has parental controls and you can turn off the internet option.

 

Op, no we don't have tv's in the bedrooms. We only have 2 tv's, one in the living room and one in the den for the kids game system.

[BatmansWife]

I voted no. But...after reading more of the op's posts....I think I might vote yes. But, only if it were for dvd's only. No tv reception, no netflix or whatever. My two oldest have old tv's & dvd players in their rooms. It works out fine. They aren't in their rooms all the time watching movies. My ds uses his mainly for some playstation games, which he usually plays with youngest dd.

 

I also would be concerned about hurting the brothers feelings. Some people might not care about that, but I would. I think I might agree to it....but with restrictions. Only one movie and only after school work and chores are done. After the movie is over...that's it. Hmmm.....for some reason that tv only plays one movie a day....and only at a certain time; which varies daily. ;)