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I'm so sorry. I remember the 3 days my eldest was in NICU, twice the size and half as sick as most of the others, but it still ripped my heart out. I can vividly remember the crying (mine, baby didn't cry much) That's motherhood I guess, and NICU.. a strange alternate universe.

 

Take care of yourself, drink and go find someone and ask if there is any food, they may have a parents fridge about somewhere with things you can eat in it. :grouphug:

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Dd was in a Children's hospital for four days after she was born. They had a bed in the room, I stayed there the entire time. There was a couch that dh slept on. They brought me a meal every meal and let me bf (they even put a sign on the door to knock first). The nurses even showed me their snack frig. and told me to help myself whenever I wanted. One nurse came in to rock dd asleep because I had been up for two days and just couldn't get her to settle.

 

So, be sure to state your needs, you just had a baby! There will be someone that will help you! Maybe at minimum they can get a recliner in baby's room for you.

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:grouphug::grouphug:

 

It is fine to cry. I am glad things are going a little better. I am sure somewhere there is some ice and a nurse can help you find it so you can get some water that isn't lukewarm. Trust me I have nearly fainted a time or too at hospitals and they always have ice. ;)

 

Do you have a friend or family member that come come sit with you? At least for a few days to help you, run errands like tissue runs and food runs? Having anybody in the hospital is stressful enough but you just gave birth and some care yourself. Hopefully today gets even better for you.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

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:grouphug:

 

Wow...I am so sorry you're going through this. When the baby was in PICU earlier this year for five days the Children's Hospital here was a very different experience. They considered *me* DS's food source and I was provided a menu and phone number to call anytime I was hungry and wanted/needed to eat to make sure I was well nourished (and the food was actually good). I was offered a pump, but already have one, so used my own, in his room if he was sleeping so I could maintain supply (he was seven weeks old, so BM was well established). I can't imagine what you're going through - you're in my thoughts and prayers!

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I am glad to hear things are starting to improve for you. The NICU nurses are generally really great, so I would anticipate today will be a better day for you and your peanut.

 

You must eat & drink! Ask one of the (friendly) nurses where the nearest ice machine is located. There should be pitchers available to fill with ice, cups, juice, snacks and a frig. If your d/h can bring you some decent food later, they will usually allow you to store in frig if you need to. Sometimes the nurses will offer to send down for food for you, or give you a voucher for the cafeteria so you can slip down while they are changing shifts, running tests, etc.

 

One minute, one hour, one day at a time. You'll both be home soon.:grouphug:

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Hopefully a few minutes here will do the trick, though. Thank you guys so much for listening & understanding. I know it will be ok, & I even feel guilty for being upset, given the babies around mine. Mine almost shouldn't even be there. And I feel guilty to want to be w/ him & feed him--I don't see ANY other parents around.

 

I know that's backwards--you don't have to correct me. And I"m not...following the guilt? If that makes sense. Just feeling it. A little. And mostly brushing it away as best I can.

 

When dd was in the NICU, my grandmother was there. She'd come for the birth and was so excited. My MIL was also there to care for older dd. MIL was very upset that dh wasn't getting home for the meals she'd prepared for him, after all, dd wasn't "that" sick. I was feeling the same way. DD was almost 9 lbs, laying next to a little 2 lb baby who'd been in the NICU for a month already. I felt terrible about being so upset about what was a relatively minor concern compared to the babies around her.

 

My gm told me something I will never, ever forget. While it may not be bad compared to others, it was the worst time I'd every been through with a child. It was a terrifying experience *for me*. Comparing it to other situations is useless. Your pain and fear are every bit as real as the other parents. Your child in is the NICU for a very real reason. Don't try to pretend everything is fine because it isn't the worst situation imaginable. Thank God it isn't, but don't try to diminish the reality of your fear.

 

Praying for you and yours. :grouphug:

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It looks like it was a misunderstanding. They close the NICU to parents & everybody for less than an hour during shift change, so they can, well, change shifts.

 

The sign may have said that. I don't think I can read right now.

 

The nurse didn't say that. She seemed to think I should already know.

 

I don't think the NICU downstairs knows the upstairs policies, so I wasn't warned about anything.

 

Baby's nurse came & got me a little bit ago. She wanted me to take his temp & change his diaper. :confused: I couldn't tell if that was standard or if I was in trouble because dh called. Anyway, I fed him his bottle of colostrum. (It was cold, but he ate it all, was wide awake, calm, looking around.)

 

She's going to come get me for the next feeding. Did I say they gave me a "parent room" in the NICU so I could feed him? The daytime people were great about it. Night time people...may end up being ok after all, but I came in so bewildered. Somehow, I think it came off as belligerent. :001_huh:

 

Once I'd changed & fed him, sat in there for a little bit, the nurse seemed to calm down a little. I think it will be ok. And I think it will be very short, too. Tonight, shift change, go home a bit later. I'm thinking.

 

I've got tepid tap water in here to drink. No way am I going to get food now! But I think I've got some crackers in my purse that came w/ some soup the other day.

 

I'm supposed to be sleeping, but the parent room is stuck at 85 degrees, & the fold-out sofa is...terraced. And every time I close my eyes, I have these long conversations w/ myself, repeating the events of the day. I can't unwind. And I figure once I do, it will be time to feed him.

 

Hopefully a few minutes here will do the trick, though. Thank you guys so much for listening & understanding. I know it will be ok, & I even feel guilty for being upset, given the babies around mine. Mine almost shouldn't even be there. And I feel guilty to want to be w/ him & feed him--I don't see ANY other parents around.

 

I know that's backwards--you don't have to correct me. And I"m not...following the guilt? If that makes sense. Just feeling it. A little. And mostly brushing it away as best I can.

 

I wouldn't worry about how you came across. The nurses are used to post partum hormonal worried mamas.

 

It may be too late at this point (hopefully your stay will be short!), but a nursing mother is supposed to get a meal plate at meal times. You get to eat it for your baby.:D At least, that is how it worked when dd was in Children's.

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:grouphug: Please go find some food to eat and lots of water to drink. You NEED it. Your baby NEEDS it. Insist on being able to get back into the NICU after you've found food and water.

 

Is there someone that can come to the hospital and "translate" for you and get you what you need when you get flustered/confused/tired/hormonal?

 

:grouphug:

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:grouphug: Please go find some food to eat and lots of water to drink. You NEED it. Your baby NEEDS it. Insist on being able to get back into the NICU after you've found food and water.

 

Is there someone that can come to the hospital and "translate" for you and get you what you need when you get flustered/confused/tired/hormonal?

 

:grouphug:

 

:iagree:

 

Praying for you and your baby.

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Most hospitals have policies which include a meal for the child for each meal that the child is in the hospital. Sometimes they forget to let you know, so don't be afraid to ask about it. And don't feel bad for demanding to see your child, to be with him, or to feed him what you know is best for him.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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I haven't been around lately and just getting caught up on the threads about baby Levi and his mom.

:grouphug:Since your pm box is full I'll just say it here.

You are so loved here; people are praying for you and your family.

I hope little Levi is nursing well, wetting his diapers and you're both able to go home and EAT and SLEEP soon.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

I hope especially, and pray, that the nurses are letting you in to care for the little big guy.

God bless you.

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Update in OP.

 

When I got up this morning, I sat by the window & pulled the curtains open behind me while I held my surprise baby-in-the-room in my lap. It's a tiny room, though, & I couldn't actually see out the window.

 

When I gave up and settled into the chair, I realized that the view was reflected in the mirror. The mountains were perfectly framed there in front of me.

 

I live in a place where everybody loves the mountains. Any time they're in view (& they often are), someone has to comment on their beauty, their majesty, yada yada yada. They're fine. They're mountains. I get that people like them. They don't *bother* me, but I don't have the same emotional response. I mean, I do understand it--I feel that way about the ocean--but I'm literally the only person (on the planet, probably) who can look at the mountains & go, "Meh."

 

So you understand where I'm coming from. This morning I saw the mountains. I saw the sun, the atmosphere, the sky--the whole expanse of everything bearing down on them. And they stood. They COPED WELL. :lol: And for the first time, the mountains were beautiful. The sun rose above them, my baby was in my lap, and *I* was coping well.

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:grouphug: :001_smile:

 

Awesome update! I'm so glad that you get to take him home tomorrow. You have done an amazing job getting through this and you are taking great care of that little guy. It's wonderful to hear that he is doing so well now. I am praying that you get good rest and that you can go home as early as possible. In the meantime, it sounds like you and Levi are in good hands, which is good to know because you had us all pretty worried yesterday!

 

Love what you wrote about the mountains (although, I admit, I am in love with all mountains!), and I'm glad that they are there to help you feel stable right now. Sometime just knowing that you will get through the day is a wonderful thing, isn't it? :001_smile:

 

Hang in there and enjoy the precious alone time you are getting with your little one. Before you know it, you will have four other not-quite-so-little ones wanting their mama too! ;)

 

:grouphug:,

 

Andrea

Edited by caayenne
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Before you know it, you will have four other not-quite-so-little ones wanting their mama too! ;)[/size]

 

:grouphug:,

 

Andrea

 

I went home for clothes/shower today, & 8yo realized I was going back, not coming home till tomorrow, & her smile froze, & her face turned red, & she insisted she wasn't about to cry & was fine. I held her for a little while & gave dh detailed instructions later on wrt exactly how to talk/listen to her, how long. Poor thing needs to cry, I think, but...well, she's the one who claimed to LIKE brusselsprouts "to be polite."

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I went home for clothes/shower today, & 8yo realized I was going back, not coming home till tomorrow, & her smile froze, & her face turned red, & she insisted she wasn't about to cry & was fine. I held her for a little while & gave dh detailed instructions later on wrt exactly how to talk/listen to her, how long. Poor thing needs to cry, I think, but...well, she's the one who claimed to LIKE brusselsprouts "to be polite."

 

She just wants her mama back and to know everything is going to go back to normal. She is super-sweet not wanting to upset you, though. :001_smile: It's so hard for them to grow up, isn't it?

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She just wants her mama back and to know everything is going to go back to normal. She is super-sweet not wanting to upset you, though. :001_smile: It's so hard for them to grow up, isn't it?

 

I reminded dh that in crisis, we have to subtract 3-5 yrs from what we expect of them. Suddenly, their behavior makes so much more sense.

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I reminded dh that in crisis, we have to subtract 3-5 yrs from what we expect of them. Suddenly, their behavior makes so much more sense.

 

Oh, believe me, I understand that all too well with Ds9. With an Aspie, you have to subtract 3 years on a good day. In a crisis? :svengo: I tend to just start chanting, "Don't panic. Take deep breaths. It's okay. Don't panic...." :glare:

 

:D

Edited by caayenne
clarifying
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I'm so glad to hear your update and know that you'll be going home with your babe in just a few hours - yay!

 

You sound SO much better - I'm sorry you didn't have someone with you that first night to hold your hand through all the exhaustion and crazy-eyedness. You shouldn't HAVE to cope well AFTER you've had the baby - but you are; you're doing awesome.

 

Hugs and prayers and good thoughts to you.

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Aw, PP. I'm so happy to hear your update.

 

I was terribly concerned--and therefore praying, which is what I should have started with. We imagine all the worst things when it is someone we care deeply about. Ya know?

 

God bless you and wee Levi and the rest of the precious ones. How you must miss them, and they you!

 

:grouphug:

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