Please, help me respond to this email about social skills and homeschoolers

[4wildberrys]

"Thank you, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on the offer. Our homeschooled children are much too busy taking classes, hanging out with friends, and volunteering in the community for photos at the moment. "

 

 

 

I wouldn't want her taking pics of my kids if she's going to be looking at them like aliens.

 

:iagree::iagree: I would most definitely get another photographer. That was a direct jab....bad idea if you're trying to promote your business :glare:

[Jenny in Florida]

I don't know. I have NEVER been on a school field trip where the kids were as poorly behaved as the few homeschool field trips I have taken my kids on. It took two tries to decide that we would NEVER do that again.

 

Yep.

 

There were a couple of things that soured our family on homeschool groups. One was the appaling lack of punctuality (or the good manners to show up when you say you're going to do so). The other was the embarassing behavior of the kids in public.

 

We belonged, over the years, to several groups. The single exception to these problems was a small, close-knit group made up of families that had been essentially kicked out of all of the other groups. Unfortunately, the group was so small that it collapsed when we lost a couple of member families who moved or were otherwise unable to continue.

 

I used to organize theatre field trips for one group, and I quit doing it after a season. Because I was the point of contact for the organization, I felt the behavior of the group reflected on me. And I was too embarassed to ever do it again.

 

With that said, my son and I always hate it when we get to a museum and realize it's school field trip day. Those large groups are loud and seem completely unconcerned with the ability of others to enjoy the exhibits. But I'm willing to have a little compassion for the teachers who are trying to herd that many cats. What really bothered me about the homeschool groups was that the parents would be right there and do nothing to correct their children.

 

So, here's the thing: I stand by my statement that I would not continue dealing with this photographer, because I wouldn't want to do business with a person who is that tactless and admits her bias up front. But I actually kind of understand her opinion.

[SonshineLearner]

If your homeschool group is cordial, I'd just continue on because.... you can help to take away their bias. Some homeschoolers are just "different"... some Public/Private schoolers are, too. ;) Everyone has a "first impression" but it doesn't mean that it'll last :)

[LidiyaDawn]

Maybe she's only met a few homeschoolers and those ones fit the stereotype perfectly … I've certainly met some of them.

[JulieH]

I've had the opposite experience. When we go to the science museum, we specifically avoid going before 1pm, because that's when all the ps field trips are there. The kids gallumph around with arms and legs waving, running wildly from exhibit to exhibit - they push random buttons on the displays and grab things and tug and then gallumph on to the next thing - when my kids were small, I was honestly afraid they'd be trampled.

 

The homeschool field trips I've been on, the kids have been well-behaved and attentive. We were just on a field trip to a reptile distributor/breeder, and the guy giving the talk/tour extended it by half an hour for free because the kids were all interested and asking questions (he was giving quite detailed info on pheno- and genotypes and dominant/recessive genes) and behaving - he said usually the groups are bored and don't ask questions and it goes much more quickly.

 

While I've had experiences with both, in my experience, the PS field trip kids were WAY worse! We just went on a field trip with my children's Montessori school in June to the Museum of Science (12 kids in the entire school) and were inundated with PS field trips. The groups as a whole were absolutely obnoxious. There was little to no supervision. It was clear the parents and teachers were trying to do their best, but when it came to going from exhibit to exhibit, and the behavior at the exhibits, our kids couldn't do anything. The PS kids had no concept of waiting their turn or standing in line, or not interrupting the other kid's activities. It was really frustrating, and felt like a free for all.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Background: I am organizing a Not Back to School Party Next week for our area homeschoolers. After realizing that most who have RSVP'd are also new to our area, another person and I are creating a packet with information about local businesses and such. Last night I sent an email thru our local Selling organizations online asking for people interested in promoting their business to our group.

 

A photographer responded and is actually making a very nice offer to homeschoolers in addition to wanting to set up a day for School Pictures. I like the idea personally and told her so. This morning this I have a new email from her and it is a beautiful email until this:

 

 

How would you respond?

 

"I am so sorry that in this economy you chose to insult your potential clients, thus costing you job opportunities."

[stripe]

I think it was tacky of her to say this. She could have said something about the troubles of herding groups of kids, but the way she phrased it wasn't too great. Even if she correctly identifies a stereotype that some people live up to. I wouldn't appreciate someone talking in this off the cuff way about wild black boys in an urban school for example. This just doesn't strike me as professional.

 

What I would do might depend on how much my group actually lived up to this stereotype, how many other options I had, and how much I wanted her. Also how important it is to teach her vs escape from her. Some things are worth confronting, others not.

[dangermom]

I honestly think I would let her know that we were going to have to pass on her kind offer, since we'd be more comfortable working with a photographer who didn't come in with preconceived notions about our children.

 

I'd be very, very polite and classy but firm.

 

:iagree: This. If she's running a business, then she shouldn't be trying to alienate potential customers. I just cannot let that pass and give her my business.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I don't know. I have NEVER been on a school field trip where the kids were as poorly behaved as the few homeschool field trips I have taken my kids on. It took two tries to decide that we would NEVER do that again.

 

I think the problem is that in a school situation, there is one person (the teacher) who is responsible for group discipline. The parents who come along, back her authority.

 

In a homeschool situation, there is no clear overall authority figure and the kids know this internally and take advantage. No one wants to correct other people's kids. These trips were absolute chaos. I was embarrassed to be associated with them.

 

Wow. Sorry you have had to deal with such inconsiderate parents. That hasn't been my experience at all. I only know one family that allowed their children to misbehave (quite badly) and they still weren't as bad as the school groups we have had the misfortune of encountering. That family was not invited to many outings after that. Dd still remembers being sent flying 4 feet by a big group of PS kids pushing and shoving so they could "touch every button" rather than experience the exhibit. I guess the homeschoolers we know have stricter parents than those useless chaperons that many of the public schools bring along (parents who are too busy yakking to DO THEIR JOB of monitoring the kids.)

 

Almost everywhere we go, our homeschooled kids get complimented on their behavior. Sad that normal, decent behavior is not the norm. Perhaps the reason why it hasn't been an issue is that our field trips groups tend to be smaller - 8 - 10 families would be a big one. Plus, parents know that they will not be included in future field trips if they get their kids get a bad reputation.

 

Back to the OP, I would let the photog know that if he (or was it a she) finds children that much trouble to deal with, then he probably would not be a good fit for the event. Also that his ignorance about socialization among homeschoolers probably disqualifies him from deserving your business. You don't get business by insulting your customers.

[Jean in Newcastle]

:iagree: This. If she's running a business, then she shouldn't be trying to alienate potential customers. I just cannot let that pass and give her my business.

 

Precisely. When I worked full-time we groaned at times about working for certain unreasonable clients but we certainly didn't tell them that they were unreasonable because they wouldn't have been our clients anymore!

[NanceXToo]

Dear Photographer,

 

First, let me say that I appreciate the offer you are making to our group and for your flexibility and willingness to travel.

 

I do have to admit, though, that I was somewhat put off by your comment regarding homeschooled children. While homeschooled children may not spend their days in a school setting, they certainly participate in a multitude of classes, groups and activities as a whole, and the stereotype you made is quite off putting to me as a homeschooling parent and a potential client. I do think you should be more careful about how you word things to potential clients in the future so that you do not offend them and risk losing their business.

 

... you can then write a paragraph about how nevertheless you are willing to work with her this time and see if it ends up being a mutually beneficial experience despite her reservations if you do still want to use her, or you can write a paragraph about how you do realize that some people just don't have good social skills when it comes to interpersonal and business relationships and that since she is obviously one of those people, you are going to have to decline her offer and find someone more acclimated to dealing well with all types of clients on a social level and you wish her well in her future endeavors. :D

[tricia]

You could be like. "Oh no, quite the opposite. I'm sure that you will be pleasantly surprised by the kindness, maturity, and obviously very socially skilled group of these children."

[Jackie in AR]

Back to the OP, I would let the photog know that if he (or was it a she) finds children that much trouble to deal with, then he probably would not be a good fit for the event. Also that his ignorance about socialization among homeschoolers probably disqualifies him from deserving your business. You don't get business by insulting your customers.

 

:iagree:

 

This is it in a nutshell. I don't give business to someone who insults me. And I wouldn't feel any need to try to prove her wrong. You might mention that she should work on improving her customer relation skills.

[JennyD]

Do you like the actual offer? If so, perhaps something like this:

 

"Thanks for your email. Of course our children are very accustomed to 'social environments,' but you're correct in that some of them probably haven't had many formal group portraits taken before. Do you anticipate this being a problem for you? If so, is there another photographer in the area you might recommend?"

[Pink]

O....M....G my jaw is on the floor too!

 

You got a lot of good responses. It makes me sad people stereotype homeschoolers like that. And because of that, I wouldn't do business with them.

[Snickerdoodle]

Back to the OP, I would let the photog know that if he (or was it a she) finds children that much trouble to deal with, then he probably would not be a good fit for the event. Also that his ignorance about socialization among homeschoolers probably disqualifies him from deserving your business. You don't get business by insulting your customers.

 

This is it in a nutshell. I don't give business to someone who insults me. And I wouldn't feel any need to try to prove her wrong. You might mention that she should work on improving her customer relation skills.

 

 

Yep.

[OnTheBrink]

I've had the opposite experience. When we go to the science museum, we specifically avoid going before 1pm, because that's when all the ps field trips are there. The kids gallumph around with arms and legs waving, running wildly from exhibit to exhibit - they push random buttons on the displays and grab things and tug and then gallumph on to the next thing - when my kids were small, I was honestly afraid they'd be trampled.

 

The homeschool field trips I've been on, the kids have been well-behaved and attentive. We were just on a field trip to a reptile distributor/breeder, and the guy giving the talk/tour extended it by half an hour for free because the kids were all interested and asking questions (he was giving quite detailed info on pheno- and genotypes and dominant/recessive genes) and behaving - he said usually the groups are bored and don't ask questions and it goes much more quickly.

 

This has been my experience, as well.

 

"I am so sorry that in this economy you chose to insult your potential clients, thus costing you job opportunities."

 

Well put.

[Dobela]

Dear Photographer,

 

First, let me say that I appreciate the offer you are making to our group and for your flexibility and willingness to travel.

 

I do have to admit, though, that I was somewhat put off by your comment regarding homeschooled children. While homeschooled children may not spend their days in a school setting, they certainly participate in a multitude of classes, groups and activities as a whole, and the stereotype you made is quite off putting to me as a homeschooling parent and a potential client. I do think you should be more careful about how you word things to potential clients in the future so that you do not offend them and risk losing their business.

 

... you can then write a paragraph about how nevertheless you are willing to work with her this time and see if it ends up being a mutually beneficial experience despite her reservations if you do still want to use her, or you can write a paragraph about how you do realize that some people just don't have good social skills when it comes to interpersonal and business relationships and that since she is obviously one of those people, you are going to have to decline her offer and find someone more acclimated to dealing well with all types of clients on a social level and you wish her well in her future endeavors. :D

 

Thank you. I needed a way to start the email. Of all the photographers I have had contact with, she is the most reasonable price wise and by far the most flexible. And honestly, I think she may have never been around a homeschool group. I also intend to point out that within our group are parents with PhDs, who are practicing physicians, local politicians, public librarians, and successful business owners. (granted the mom with the PhD has the worst behaving kids who are most likely to embarass us as homeschoolers....).

[Penelope]

The problem with homeschool field trips is that there are no guidelines for dealing with students who are misbehaving, that is up to each parent. You can't send a kid or family of kids to sit by the bus for misbehavior. You have no way of enforcing good behavior on the trip.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

Another problem is everyone arrives at different times, and there are always a few families who are late. That means everyone else either waits around :glare: and the children get antsy and have more time to get rowdy, or the late ones join in later and are disruptive.

 

 

I think size of the group makes a big difference in the success of a homeschool field trip, though. I avoid the larger trips but will go on a smaller one.

 

However, I think the photographer's email was unprofessional. Either she wants the job, or she doesn't. She can make suggestions without insulting people.

Edited August 9, 2011 by Penelope

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I think this is the best reply suggested so far.

I can't tell if she's had a bad experience with other homeschoolers, is making an assumption, or just is awkwardly saying that the process of school photos might be outside the kids' experience.

 

But it seems silly to complain about her email and then answer it with one that is trying to be dismissive.

[myfunnybunch]

Do you like the actual offer? If so, perhaps something like this:

 

"Thanks for your email. Of course our children are very accustomed to 'social environments,' but you're correct in that some of them probably haven't had many formal group portraits taken before. Do you anticipate this being a problem for you? If so, is there another photographer in the area you might recommend?"

 

I like this a lot.

 

I do think she needs to be called on her lack of tact. She may not even realize that her email is insulting, but it is. Not because her ignorance upsets or surprises me, but because it is incredibly unprofessional. Not only that, but even more of a red flag to me is the bit about difficulty taking pictures of children. If you're hiring someone to take pictures of children, it will be best to hire a photographer who is confident in his or her abilities. The lack of professionalism in her communication could just be due to inexperience working with clients, she could be setting herself up with an "out" in case things don't go well on her end, or it could be that she's just not the right person for the job.

 

If you'd like to hire her, I'd send the above email. If there is another reasonably priced photographer in the area, I'd probably go with them instead.

 

Cat

[mom2scouts]

I've only been on a few homeschool field trips, but they were much better than the PS field trips I've attended. The homeschooled children were more engaged and in one case, the tour guide said he would let us in a normally restricted area because the children were so well behaved. When I chaperoned for PS, the kids always acted like they had a day pass from prison.

[arghmatey]

I couldn't use her, and I'd let her know why.

 

A lot of the above responses are fine.

 

I'd say something such as, "Thank you for responding. I appreciate your time. We have decided to use a different photographer, and I'd like to let you know the reason.

 

Your opinion of homeschooled children is certainly an interesting point of view, but we would rather support a photographer with better social skills / tact and who would be a better example of such for our children. I will be careful not to allow your behavior to tarnish my opinion of all photographers.

 

Again, thank you for your interest.

 

Kindest regards,

....."

[Guest momk2000]

This photographer has not met my dd - lol. Seriously, I would get another photographer! :glare:

[Ellie]

 

Another problem is everyone arrives at different times, and there are always a few families who are late. That means everyone else either waits around :glare: and the children get antsy and have more time to get rowdy, or the late ones join in later and are disruptive.

Not on the field trips I organize. We start on time; people who are late miss out. I've left people standing on the sidewalk in front of the Monterey Bay Aquarium because they were late and missed the check-in (mind you, I had given everyone an arrival time of *an hour* before we were actually supposed to go in, so someone who was late was *over an hour late.*).

 

 

I think size of the group makes a big difference in the success of a homeschool field trip, though. I avoid the larger trips but will go on a smaller one.

 

This is true to a certain extent, but it is also up to the organizer of the field trip to see that it runs on time. This organizer must have rhino skin, BTW!

 

However, I think the photographer's email was unprofessional. Either she wants the job, or she doesn't. She can make suggestions without insulting people.

 

ITA.

 

FTR, I organized several Official School Picture days, and the dc were always marvelous. In fact, I was always awed by the way the children, most of whom had never met before (long story), naturally began chatting with each other regardless of age or gender. I was quite proud of our "unsocialized" homeschooled children.

[Dobela]

Well, I sent my note, written much like the one I quoted before, and the photographer replied saying that she couldn't understand why I was so offended and that she used to homeschool her ASD son.... :001_huh: Oh, well. At least she got my blood pumping this morning.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, I sent my note, written much like the one I quoted before, and the photographer replied saying that she couldn't understand why I was so offended and that she used to homeschool her ASD son.... :001_huh: Oh, well. At least she got my blood pumping this morning.

 

So - is she still on the list? Or is she off the list?

[ColoNative]

That's just kids being kids. :)

 

 

I agree. Have you been on a museum tour with ps kids? :lol:

[dirty ethel rackham]

Well, I sent my note, written much like the one I quoted before, and the photographer replied saying that she couldn't understand why I was so offended and that she used to homeschool her ASD son.... :001_huh: Oh, well. At least she got my blood pumping this morning.

 

Couldn't understand why you were offended? Perhaps the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? That explains a lot - her views on children and people in general, views on homeschoolers and socialization. Either she lacks the ability to understand social niceties or she sees everything through the lens of a parent of a child on the spectrum.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Background: I am organizing a Not Back to School Party Next week for our area homeschoolers. After realizing that most who have RSVP'd are also new to our area, another person and I are creating a packet with information about local businesses and such. Last night I sent an email thru our local Selling organizations online asking for people interested in promoting their business to our group.

 

A photographer responded and is actually making a very nice offer to homeschoolers in addition to wanting to set up a day for School Pictures. I like the idea personally and told her so. This morning this I have a new email from her and it is a beautiful email until this:

 

 

How would you respond?

 

Sorry, but I've read this a completely different way than everyone else.

 

Are you sure you don't want to ask her to clarify herself a bit more on this issue before you judge her?

 

I read it with the intention that the "other kids/ps" are used to a "stiff" environment, and hs children are more relaxed. It could be me.

 

Really, think it over, ask her a second time to clarify her thoughts and possible challenges she may think she'll be facing with a large number of homeschool children.

 

I'm not so sure that she meant this in a negative way. You may want to extend extra grace in understanding her intent; it may surprise you.

 

n/m I guess. You canned her (I'm reading on refresh now and see the end of the story.)

Edited August 9, 2011 by one*mom

[Dobela]

Couldn't understand why you were offended? Perhaps the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? That explains a lot - her views on children and people in general, views on homeschoolers and socialization. Either she lacks the ability to understand social niceties or she sees everything through the lens of a parent of a child on the spectrum.

After she revealed her son was on the spectrum I immediately thought that same thing - she must be on the spectrum as well. I have a brother on the spectrum and I can absolutely see him saying and responding in a similar manner.

 

She is on the list of people I will give out information about, if she actually brings me any information to hand out. I don't know about actually scheduling her for pictures however. For one, I don't know if I can provide a location yet. If enough people are interested I have a high school friend that is an amazing photographer I will contact first.

[Mommy22alyns]

I'm glad a lot of others were able to formulate responses because my jaw was on the floor!

 

No really - homeschooled kids aren't used to being photographed? That's got to be one of the most ridiculous things ever.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

If my kids are not acclimated to a social environment then why am I running them all over all the time? Awana, Youth Group, Vollyball, 4H, Choir, art? Need I go on? Thats the short all year round list. I could go into the different season list

 

 

UGH! Some peoples children :banghead:

[Harriet Vane]

Well, I sent my note, written much like the one I quoted before, and the photographer replied saying that she couldn't understand why I was so offended and that she used to homeschool her ASD son.... :001_huh: Oh, well. At least she got my blood pumping this morning.

 

You know, there is only one answer when someone tells you they are hurt: "I'm sorry." That goes double for clients. You're better off without this photographer.

[Caterpiller]

I think I would respond by saying the following.

“I guess I don’t understand why you would think that just because a child is homeschooled they are unaccustomed to social events. Obviously the children in this group are being socialized otherwise we would not be coming together as a community and we would have no need of your services. If working with children or homeschooled families is going to be an issue I would appreciate it if you would let me know now. These men and women are caring individuals who are doing the best they can for their children and they don’t need to be insulted during a party that is meant to celebrate their decision to home school. If you don’t think you can be professional and keep your opinions to yourself then I would encourage you to seek customers elsewhere. If however you still think you’re up to the job then I’d be happy to continue on with our previous arrangement. Please give me your decision by such and such date."

 

Remember you are HIRING her and helping her expand HER business. She isn't really doing anything to help you. The least she can do is learn to keep her comments to herself.

[Forget-Me-Not]

You know, there is only one answer when someone tells you they are hurt: "I'm sorry." That goes double for clients. You're better off without this photographer.

 

Yep.

[lovelaughs_times_three]

Dear Photographer,

 

First, let me say that I appreciate the offer you are making to our group and for your flexibility and willingness to travel.

 

I do have to admit, though, that I was somewhat put off by your comment regarding homeschooled children. While homeschooled children may not spend their days in a school setting, they certainly participate in a multitude of classes, groups and activities as a whole, and the stereotype you made is quite off putting to me as a homeschooling parent and a potential client. I do think you should be more careful about how you word things to potential clients in the future so that you do not offend them and risk losing their business.

 

... you can then write a paragraph about how nevertheless you are willing to work with her this time and see if it ends up being a mutually beneficial experience despite her reservations if you do still want to use her, or you can write a paragraph about how you do realize that some people just don't have good social skills when it comes to interpersonal and business relationships and that since she is obviously one of those people, you are going to have to decline her offer and find someone more acclimated to dealing well with all types of clients on a social level and you wish her well in her future endeavors. :D

 

 

LOVE THIS, NanceXToo! It's perfect!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D (It is worthy of a 5-smilie rating!)

 

 

ETA: Ooops! I posted this before I finished reading the rest of the thread. Problem already solved. Weird response from the photographer though!

Edited August 9, 2011 by lovelaughs_times_three

[kalanamak]

My take is that she doesn't believe they have stood in rows on bleachers and had photos taken since the age of 5. I wouldn't be flapped by it at all, and if you send her an email "telling her why" you won't hire her, she will count her stars you warned her about your opinions. I also think she would not only think hs kids aren't used to standing in lines on bleachers, but that hs moms are unreasonable. Just an IMO. :001_smile:

Edited August 10, 2011 by kalanamak
correcting the modifiers

[2cents]

I'm kinda wondering if she has much experience with children in general if she is making comments like that. :001_huh: I think I'd have to address the issue with her head on because I wouldn't want her making clueless and insensitive comments like that around any of the homeschoolers. She might really find out how 'out of control' some of those homeschool moms can be. I've been around some of those and that isn't pretty. ;)

[annandatje]

Sorry, but I've read this a completely different way than everyone else.

 

Are you sure you don't want to ask her to clarify herself a bit more on this issue before you judge her?

 

I read it with the intention that the "other kids/ps" are used to a "stiff" environment, and hs children are more relaxed. It could be me.

 

Really, think it over, ask her a second time to clarify her thoughts and possible challenges she may think she'll be facing with a large number of homeschool children.

 

I'm not so sure that she meant this in a negative way. You may want to extend extra grace in understanding her intent; it may surprise you.

 

 

:iagree:

[Dobela]

Thank you for posting this--what a great idea! We've never done pictures of the hsers, but I'm going to schedule it into our "Not Back to School Party"! I have a very nice camera and I'll scout out spots at the lake or the park--oh, this is going to be fun! So, even if you ran across a grump of a photographer, some good came out of it. And for the record, I'd not be needing his services...

Why, thank you :) I think the photos are a great idea myself. What this photographer is actually wanting to do are the individual school type photos, you know, like the ones in yearbooks. Since she was willing to come to us I thought it was a great idea. I never seem to make it to a studio for professional shots.

[Alphabetika]

Wow. How about, "I was going to give you my business until you insulted my educational choices."

[AuntPol]

I am probably on the sprectum myself and I personally don't see anything offensive about the email at all. I've been trying to figure out the uproar all day.

 

I also don't know why so many people have trouble admitting that the stereotypes exist for a reason.

[kitten18]

Well, I sent my note, written much like the one I quoted before, and the photographer replied saying that she couldn't understand why I was so offended and that she used to homeschool her ASD son.... :001_huh: Oh, well. At least she got my blood pumping this morning.

Wow. :001_huh:

[kitten18]

I had to go back and read the OP since I hadn't read it since this morning. It was just as bad as I remembered.

 

 

"These children that are homeschooled are particularly out of the loop, so to speak, not being acclimated to a social environment in the first place."

 

:001_huh:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am probably on the sprectum myself and I personally don't see anything offensive about the email at all. I've been trying to figure out the uproar all day.

 

I also don't know why so many people have trouble admitting that the stereotypes exist for a reason.

 

Stereotypes are gross generalizations about groups of people. Yes, some people in those groups do fit the stereotype. But not all do. In fact, often a majority do not fit the stereotype. Yes, there are some homeschoolers who are "out of the loop, and are not acclimated to a social environment." (her words). But that is a deficiency when that is the case. It is offensive to assume that an entire group of people has that deficiency in their upbringing because of their parent's schooling choices. I would postulate that a majority of homeschooling parents, no matter if their child is on the spectrum or not, do acclimate their children to a social environment. (I have no studies to back that up though).

[8circles]

I am probably on the sprectum myself and I personally don't see anything offensive about the email at all.

 

"These children that are homeschooled are particularly out of the loop, so to speak, not being acclimated to a social environment in the first place."

 

:001_huh:

 

 

It's the "a" in the quote that makes it bad for me. Really, they're not acclimated to any social environment? That's how it reads. I'm not sure that's what they meant, they probably meant that homeschoolers aren't acclimated to the whole school-photo environment. If they don't see their faux-pas even after your reaction then they probably aren't the best fit for your group.

 

I know, lots of mismatched pronouns. I'm tired - I hope it makes sense.

[Wendi]

It never ceases to amaze me how people can think "homeschooled" means "kept in a closet". :glare: :confused: :001_huh:

 

Wendi

[Cheryl in NM]

I see this as an opportunity for outreach instead of just taking offense and writing her off.

 

I'd reply something like, "Gee, I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with homeschoolers. I can assure that our group will delight and surprise you." Then make sure everyone is on their best behavior and knows what to expect by the photo shoot.

 

She's right, though. Homeschoolers typically don't know how to wait in line quietly, at least that's been my experience in the several groups I've been a apart of over the last 10 years. Some homeschoolers are very clingy and might not be comfortable with a photographer they don't know. There are a wide range of situations where a homeschool child will not act like a public school child. Someone not acclimated to homeschooled children will not quite understand the benefits of a homeschooled child while dealing with their (the photographer's) perceived drawbacks.

 

I wouldn't get my panties in a wad if I were you. Her attitude comes from her experiences and it's obvious she was trying to word things nicely while offering to accommodate your needs.

[angela in ohio]

I don't know. I have NEVER been on a school field trip where the kids were as poorly behaved as the few homeschool field trips I have taken my kids on. It took two tries to decide that we would NEVER do that again.

 

I think the problem is that in a school situation, there is one person (the teacher) who is responsible for group discipline. The parents who come along, back her authority.

 

In a homeschool situation, there is no clear overall authority figure and the kids know this internally and take advantage. No one wants to correct other people's kids. These trips were absolute chaos. I was embarrassed to be associated with them.

 

:iagree: And not just museum trips: libraries, zoo classes, etc. And the bonus with homeschoolers is that you get ill-behaved moms, too (talking too much, wandering off and touching things they aren't supposed to, etc.) Not ALL homeschool groups are like this, but 4 out of 5 around here are, which makes me think it's a pretty common problem.

 

That shouldn't really affect taking individual pictures, though. That's more of a group dynamic issue.

 

Wow. How about, "I was going to give you my business until you insulted my educational choices."

 

This would be my reply. :001_smile: