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What do you do when you cook something your family doesn't like?


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:glare::glare::glare:

 

I was NOT in a great mood to begin with, but I just made a very good cheese fondue dish with lovely cut/chunked bread squares.

 

They ALL turned up their noses, including DH. That initial, "Ew, what is THAT?" comment came out of all of them.

 

I lost it. I told them that that is ALL they get and I am NOT cooking dinner and I walked out.

 

Not my best moment, but I was really irritated.

 

What do you do when they all turn up their noses, including your spouse?

 

This is not typical, but sometimes when I try something new it happens. DH is a mid-west (BLAND) meat and potatoes, boring as anything food- guy and it really irritates me sometimes.

 

Dawn

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What do you do when they all turn up their noses, including your spouse?

 

 

 

I just tell them to make themselves something else thenĂ¢â‚¬Â¦ sometimes people just don't like stuff. I don't force anyone to eat anything that they don't like.

 

The dish you described would get the same reaction here from my dh and kids. ;)

 

[but i bet i'd like it!]

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If it is something new and it is truly bad we toss it and eat sandwiches. This has happened less than a handful of times.

 

If it is something I think is good and they think is icky then I get all the good stuff and they get sandwiches.

 

Rude comments will be addressed pretty much the same way you addressed them.

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Well that hasn't happened to me (probably because I really don't cook all that much :D) but I would probably blast my family and then go out and go book/clothes shopping and stop and have a nice dessert or mocha drink somewhere....

 

:grouphug: to you! What a bummer to put forth the effort to fix a meal and not have anyone appreciate it!

 

 

Diane

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I would probably react as you did. My oldest is not allowed to make rude comments. My middle will eat whatever he wants and throws what he doesn't on the floor. Then he gets to sweep/pick it up after. My baby, well, she doesn't count yet. If DH and my oldest don't like it, they can say it in a nice way. If DH were to complain and be rude about it, he'd find himself in charge of making dinner.

 

I am so sorry you had to put up with such rudeness. I am glad you stood up for yourself, even if the way you did so could have been different.

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Eat it myself and let them starve. Anyone rude enough to go 'eeewwww' and complain can starve in my house. And NO sneaking into the kitchen and making a Pb&J either. Even if you don't think you'll like something you can at least try it and respect the effort the cook put into it, if you don't like it after you try it then that is okay. Just don't mock the food and go 'eeewwww' or you will know the wrath of MOM.

 

If a dish turns out truly bad (my cooking, my criteria) then I will be the one to toss it and make something else.

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If they say that before they try it - they go hungry. If they try it and don't like it, the can eat something they make and CLEAN up. Luckily my dh will eat anything. He even 3/4 of a sandwich once and then realized that the paper that separates the cheese slices was in his sandwich and he had been eating it.

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If it is something I think is good and they think is icky then I get all the good stuff and they get sandwiches.

 

:iagree:

 

Food is just something I can't be bothered fighting about - I make one meal and if someone doesn't like it they can eat whatever they want as long as it is healthy.

 

I don't care if my kids tummies are full of cheese fondue or ham sandwiches and carrot sticks - just so long as it is full.

 

I allow a tiny amount of rudeness in my house (not from my DH) because my kids are still young and still learning manners - so they would receive a gentle correction on their manners and a sandwich - their refusal of my food doesn't upset me.

Edited by sewingmama
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:glare::glare::glare:

 

I was NOT in a great mood to begin with, but I just made a very good cheese fondue dish with lovely cut/chunked bread squares.

 

They ALL turned up their noses, including DH. That initial, "Ew, what is THAT?" comment came out of all of them.

 

I lost it. I told them that that is ALL they get and I am NOT cooking dinner and I walked out.

 

Not my best moment, but I was really irritated.

 

What do you do when they all turn up their noses, including your spouse?

 

This is not typical, but sometimes when I try something new it happens. DH is a mid-west (BLAND) meat and potatoes, boring as anything food- guy and it really irritates me sometimes.

 

Dawn

 

I taste it just to make sure... and then if it tastes good to me I tell them to eat it or make something else for themselves but they have to do the clean up...:001_smile:

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It has never happened to me. My husband knows I would kill him. LOL. He would eat it bite by agonizing bite. The few times a new dish has really been yucky I've said, "This didn't turn out all that great. Anyone want cereal?"

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Well something sorta like this happened when I made a marshmallow fondant covered cake. They didn't do the 'ewww' thing, but I did notice there were neat piles of fondant on the plates after they ate. The dog ate it and had no complaints. :lol:

 

In your case, I'd have just told them that means there is more for me and they can join in if they are hungry. If not - the kitchen is closed and disrespectful behavior will not be tolerated by anyone (including dh!). I'd expect them to at least try and if after a good try, if they still don't like it then they can make a pbj or something else.

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It's okay to not want to eat what was cooked. Sandwiches, leftovers, a quick salad, etc. are available. It's not okay to be rude about it.

 

I've never had dh do anything like that. A few times I've made things not to his liking, but he always tries it and actually he always eats it anyway (even my purple soup! So Bridget Jones!). The kids routinely don't like things I cook, but I'm usually prepared for them. I know what they'll try and what goes "too far" so to speak.

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If DH did this sort of thing, well, I guess we'd just have to rethink our division of labor when it comes to preparing meals, eh? Not being an idiot, DH cheerfully eats whatever I put in front of him.

 

As for the kids, they don't have to eat what I made, but I am not making anything else, and complaining gets you excused from the dinner table. I do try to have something on the table that I know everyone will eat, so they can always fill up on bread or whatever, but I'm not going to be a short-order cook and I am not interested in hearing complaints.

 

If I mess up a meal -- mostly, this means accidentally making it too spicy for everyone's tastes but mine -- then I will declare it a failure and make scrambled eggs for the faint of tongue.

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I've never been able to live down the tilapia fish tacos I made years ago. I think something was really wrong with the fish.

 

In your shoes, I know I would've reacted in the same fashion. I do taste the new food ahead of the family just to make sure and I will gladly toss it if it's truly inedible. Politeness about new food goes a LONG way in my book. If they can try the food and be nice about their dislike, then they're typically free to pass on it. Nasty attitudes bring on my wrath though! :lol:

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Usually, when most in the family don't like it, I'm disappointed with the dish too. So, we make do (eat what we can)and scrounge the refridgerator to fill in if we can't eat it.

 

Now, if I made a good cheese fondue and my family acted like this, I would make them all go to their rooms, open a good bottle of wine and invite a couple of friends over to gab and polish it off. I'd add sliced apples for dipping in addition to the bread. Thankfully, I have a couple friends who live close by who I may have a good chance of prevailing upon them with wine and cheese fondue.

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If it is something new and it is truly bad we toss it and eat sandwiches. This has happened less than a handful of times.

 

If it is something I think is good and they think is icky then I get all the good stuff and they get sandwiches.

 

Rude comments will be addressed pretty much the same way you addressed them.

 

:iagree:

However, my dh usually leads the "try it" charge along with the "smile and choke it down" brigade. Everyone tries the food, and everyone can make sandwhiches and bowls of cereal because I don't run a restaurant. I would be left with the good stuff and a bottle of wine. If I'm very lucky, I'd get good stuff leftovers.

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I don't try too many new things anymore, actually. I stick with the basics...spaghetti, tacos, sloppy joes, chili, chicken (in different forms), vension, burgers, pizza, pork, lasagna, stir fry, etc, etc, etc. This isn't weird or wacky stuff....is it?? But, still....I almost always hear my dh say, "what else is there?" When I hear, "what else is there?" I generally don't answer but shoot him one of these :glare:. I mean...what can that mean other than....'this isn't that great....what else is there to eat?' Unfortunately, there are multiple meals made around here most of the time. There's always someone who doesn't like something, or is allergic, or is on a diet, or who knows what. Sheesh...I'm no gourmet fancy cook but....it's food and it tastes good. What else do they want?? :001_smile:

 

ETA: One thing I should add...is that I do.not make my kids eat what I make. I mean....they do have to at least try it. But, if they genuinely do not like it, I won't force them to eat it. I have always detested cooked green beans. From as long as I can remember I hated them and my mom would MAKE me eat them. I about threw up everytime she served them. I mean...was there any point in making me eat them?? Not everyone has the same like for certain foods. I still vividly remember accidentally pouring orange juice instead of milk into my bowl of corn flakes when I was a kid. I had to sit there until I ate it all. Talk about the most horrible experience. I know this isn't what you are doing....just thought I'd add this in since I was thinking of it.

Edited by ~AprilMay~
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My husband and kids always try stuff, even if they think they are not going to like it. That is our house rule. That rule is coming back to bite me when I cook this horrific sounding chicken spaghetti (containing cream of chicken soup and Velveeta {which I am not trying to be snooty about, it just gives me issues}) that somebody let my husband try at work one night.

So they would have to try it, they just wouldn't have to like it. If they do not like it, they are free to eat leftovers, sandwiches or cereal.

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I try new recipes quite often. My family tries everything. If they don't like it, they politely say it's not their cuppa, and they fix themselves something else. "Ewww" or similar comments would be considered rude, and quite frankly, I don't hear that kind of thing at my table, thank goodness, no matter how awful the recipe.

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I'm sorry you got a reaction so dismissive of the efforts you went to ... to feed them. Who could blame you for your reaction?!

 

In our home there is an unwritten rule that you eat what you're served. Or you don't, but you sit nicely at the table with the rest of us while we eat it (and you're expected to participate in conversation, etc.) This is obviously something that takes time and work, but it's an important place to start. Meal time in our home isn't only about eating, it's about family time and learning other life skills - like sucking it up, conversation, table manners, etc. Or, in a case like the OP, a time for all of us to sit across from someone who has just upset/hurt us OR whom we have just upset/hurt .. and to not have the opportunity to be sent away where we can avoid that uncomfortable feeling once a situation has happened.

 

There is also an explicit, spoken rule that if you want to be permitted to eat out with friends and other family members, you need to be prepared to: eat food you don't like, that isn't your favorite, and/or that even tastes horribly. I do restrict the kids' eating out, especially with friends, and especially if I'm not going to be there, if they're not yet cognizant of this. They have enough social opportunities that I feel okay with this. None of our kids have special allergies, texture issues, or anything else to prevent them from being polite enough to consume what they've been served (however gross). My one exception is meat, because I'm veg*n. When they start getting picky at home, they stop getting the privilege of eating out or hanging out with friends if food might be a possibility. This is strong incentive for them to remember to respect the cook, even if they don't like the food.

 

I've also assigned next meals to the loudest whiner. Gives some perspective, you know? They finally see what it's like to slave over a meal, from planning to prepping to serving, only to have it written off before anyone has even sampled it. If you're family can hack it, maybe even some reverse role-playing would be in order.

 

All of that said, I do welcome constructive criticisms of meals. We're all allowed to dislike something, and even to share that opinion. There's a time and place, though, and it's not at the time one is being served. There's also a polite way to share one's opinion, and it's not by turning up one's nose and saying, "Ew, what's this?!" ;) It's also understood that not every meal will be your favorite, or even one you like. Such is part of dining as a family!

 

Hope your night got better.

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I'd tell them if they didn't like what the (unpaid) chef was serving, they're on their own.

And I have.

 

DH is a mid-west (BLAND) meat and potatoes, boring as anything food- guy and it really irritates me sometimes.

 

 

Your dh's bland taste buds are not a result of his midwestern upbringing. Some of us like good food ;) I'd eat your fondu, and I'd like it :D

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:iagree:

 

Dh came very close once to getting that reaction when his prayer was "Dear God, thank you for this food we are supposed to eat." Fortunately his eyes were twinkling once I opened mine.

 

 

hahaha!! That is funny!! My son once prayed PLEASE Lord make this food be good that we are going to try tonight

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Thanks guys. It is getting better. They did apologize and eat some of it. They said they didn't mean it like it came out. Now, this is entirely possible because I just was in a rotten mood before they came into the kitchen, which didn't help at all.

 

Dawn

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I love to cook and try new things so I am in the position where no one may like it but me quite often. We do have a couple rules.

 

1. Everyone must take a "polite bite" of everything served at the table.

 

2. The most negative thing that is allowed about food is; "It is not my favorite."

 

As long as the food is edible by my standards there are no substitutions; no PB&J or cereal. That being said I always make sure that there is something on the table that everyone can fill up on after their polite bite. A huge bowl of rice with a bite of broccoli, one bite of beans and one bite of chicken was my picky daughter's dinner. The night before it was a big plate of salad with one bite of salmon, one bite of mango and one bite of green beans.

 

Just my .02. And BTW at my house of the lactose intolerant I would love a big pot of cheese fondue and bread, because it would be all for me!

 

Amber in SJ

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If the clear majority vote is negative, I ask that we all endure the meal -- and I won't make that dish again.

 

When the dc were too young for me to expect them to eat what they were served, I was more relaxed. All, however, became good eaters at very reasonable ages. "Good" for them is light-years beyond what I gather is the case in many/most families.

 

The one time that we all bailed out immediately was when I made a molasses pie. Truly the most abominable thing that I ever have made. After two small bites apiece, we threw it in the trash . . . and added molasses pie to our stock of "in-house jokes".

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Oh dear! I love fondue! Can I come to your house? I promise to eat every bite and lavish you with compliments!:D

 

About your question, if I make something that no one likes, and it's not burned or messed up in some way, they don't have to eat it, but they're not getting dessert or snacks or anything else. If everyone, including dh, had such a strong reaction, I guess I wouldn't make it again. But seriously! With fondue, they don't know what they're missing!

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When I make something new everyone takes at least one bite. If they don't like it they usually say, "It's ok." :D They can then go make themselves something else to eat. Sometimes it is good and after I make it a few times their one bite has turned into a whole plate.

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The people who like it, eat it. The rest eat PB&J. I only cook one meal per evening. Period.

 

I don't wrestle over food, but I don't have any particularly picky people in my family. If they don't like it, I'm not interested in forcing them to eat it.

 

It anyone is rude . . . well. Then Mama Wrath may just be in order, but I don't really usually have that problem.

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Our rule is "You don't have to like it, but you do have to try it."

 

They don't have to clean their plate, and if they are still hungry they can have a sandwich or eat the side dishes. And they always, ALWAYS must be polite about it.

 

That said, while I'm pregnant I am a truly horrible cook. I mean absolutely awful. So every one gets a little grace at dinner time for now :D

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If it is something new and it is truly bad we toss it and eat sandwiches. This has happened less than a handful of times.

 

If it is something I think is good and they think is icky then I get all the good stuff and they get sandwiches.

 

Rude comments will be addressed pretty much the same way you addressed them.

 

:iagree:

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It has happened here a LOT because dh is very fussy and not always diplomatic about it. I have been VERY upset many times over the years.

I have gone on strike enough times that nowadays dh is pretty grateful and appreciative if its anywhere in the realms of something he will/can eat, which it usually is.

For me, as I am sure for many others, cooking the evening meal becomes such a chore unless it can be a creative act....some people like trying new foods and some want the same old comfortable foods over and over...which to me is so boring to cook, I just tell them to learn to make it themselves.

 

I do throw hissy fits, but I love to cook so much that i just keep trying over and over to please at least some of the people some of the time. And honestly, they dont really deserve my attempts to make them happy since they can be so rude but I need someone to eat my creations :)

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Eat it myself and let them starve. Anyone rude enough to go 'eeewwww' and complain can starve in my house. And NO sneaking into the kitchen and making a Pb&J either. Even if you don't think you'll like something you can at least try it and respect the effort the cook put into it, if you don't like it after you try it then that is okay. Just don't mock the food and go 'eeewwww' or you will know the wrath of MOM.

 

If a dish turns out truly bad (my cooking, my criteria) then I will be the one to toss it and make something else.

 

:iagree: It is a rule in our house not to complain about food. If you give it one really decent try and decide you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. DH is the worst offender. He eats about 10 foods, max, and they all have to be absolutely plain. I like to cook and eat almost anything. Before we got married I told DH I wasn't cooking two dinners, so if he didn't like what I made, he'd have to fend for himself. I don't cater to the ridiculously picky. DH has been better about not making comments about food, but he occasionally still does an that's one of my biggest peeves. I get angry when he does that. If the kids complain, I say, "You're welcome to make your own dinner. More deliciousness for me!"

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Well, you already KNOW that your husband isn't an adventurous eater so I guess that shouldn't be a surprise. And kids can be a bit finicky sometimes. So if I were to try something new and a bit more "exotic" not knowing whether my family would like it, I wouldn't get offended if they didn't. I'd know I had tried and that I was eating something I enjoyed, and if they decided they didn't like it, they could eat a sandwich or something instead, no biggie.

 

I would perhaps later say to my husband something along the lines of I know you aren't a very adventurous eater, but when I do try making something new, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't make a negative comment before you even taste it. It sets a bad example for the kids and is a little bit insulting. Just try it and if you don't like it, eat something else that night, without making a whole production out of saying "ewww."

 

And I'd say something similar to the kids if they are old enough. I know you won't necessarily like everything, but it is good to try new things, and it's bad manners to say "ewww" to something somebody prepared for you. It's rude to them, and besides, you should at least taste something before you decide you don't like it. After you try it, if you don't like it, you can simply politely say that you don't and ask to have a sandwich instead.

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Well, I really was exaggerating. DH has been good about trying many things after marrying me. He now shares tandoori and curry as being his favorites, neither of which he had tried before meeting me.

 

I really was in a foul mood last night. I am better today.

 

Dawn

 

Well, you already KNOW that your husband isn't an adventurous eater so I guess that shouldn't be a surprise. And kids can be a bit finicky sometimes. So if I were to try something new and a bit more "exotic" not knowing whether my family would like it, I wouldn't get offended if they didn't. I'd know I had tried and that I was eating something I enjoyed, and if they decided they didn't like it, they could eat a sandwich or something instead, no biggie.

 

I would perhaps later say to my husband something along the lines of I know you aren't a very adventurous eater, but when I do try making something new, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't make a negative comment before you even taste it. It sets a bad example for the kids and is a little bit insulting. Just try it and if you don't like it, eat something else that night, without making a whole production out of saying "ewww."

 

And I'd say something similar to the kids if they are old enough. I know you won't necessarily like everything, but it is good to try new things, and it's bad manners to say "ewww" to something somebody prepared for you. It's rude to them, and besides, you should at least taste something before you decide you don't like it. After you try it, if you don't like it, you can simply politely say that you don't and ask to have a sandwich instead.

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If it is something new and it is truly bad we toss it and eat sandwiches. This has happened less than a handful of times.

 

If it is something I think is good and they think is icky then I get all the good stuff and they get sandwiches.

 

Rude comments will be addressed pretty much the same way you addressed them.

 

:iagree:100%

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