JeneralMom Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I have been thinking about posting this for a while, but didn't really know how to phrase my discomfort. Most of our friends homeschool or are homeschool-friendly. However, I am often told, in front of the kids and privately, that my kids are "weird". For example, on DD2s birthday, I posted on FB that she had requested eggs benedict with tomato and avocado slices and pickles. The number of comments that I got about my kids being "weird" was amazing. Another example, at our park day, I had ordered a large order of sprouted seeds/nuts/granolas, and the lady delivered them to the park. Well, all the kids grabbed a bag and sat happily munching. Someone came up to them and said "that must be really good" and another friend said "they are, but the kids are just weird, they'll eat anything." This is always said with a smile, wink, nudge, kind of like, "wow, I wish my kids would eat the organic broccoli by the bunch", but I am wondering if I need to say something about people's constant assertions that my kids are weird. The other day DS6 was asking for another portion of fish, and then stopped and asked if liking fish was "weird". I think it originally started as a joke because when DD2 was first starting on food, she ate only sour homemade yoghurt, her second food was cheddar jalapeno dip, and her third was homemade garlic pickles - no fruits and veggie purees for this girl. I don't want to make a big deal out of something that isn't but I also don't want my kids to feel different or weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I would tell the kids that the others will catch up with them. They are just good eaters with great minds. :D I don't think it's really meant to be mean even though it's quite tiresome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I embrace my weirdness. If wanting egg's Benedict is weird then I give up. Not the eggs benedict thing, because we're vegan. But we, too, embrace our weirdness. In our family "weird," "geek," "dork," etc., are terms of endearment. So, in your situation, if someone said my kid was weird, I might answer, "Yep. We are all." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 When I get this response I always turn it so the focus is on me and the kids can see that I'm not weird (at least not unusually weird) - "I guess they learned it from their mother!" The older kids 'embrace' their weirdness at this point. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patchfire Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I wouldn't worry about it in terms of people saying it to you; however, if it's affecting your kids, I would be tempted to smile and say something nicely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Well, your kids' tastes are different.....most kids do not like those things, or don't like them to the same degree. Society tends to label different as "weird." I personally would just embrace it as a complement. My kids actually like to be called weird! ;) My oldest says he doesn't want to go to ps because everyone's personality is the same. He also adds, "and I like being weird!" Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I would tell the kids that the others will catch up with them. They are just good eaters with great minds. :D I don't think it's really meant to be mean even though it's quite tiresome. Gee if that's weird, I wish my kids were weird like that :001_smile: I wish I ate as healthly at they do. Good job Mom, and just ignore the comments! Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehogs4 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Just say, "Well, we grow organic apples and they don't fall far from the tree." :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemama2 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 My kids were sitting outside eating slices of cucumber a couple years back (neither were even school age at the time) and my neighbor lady asked, "Don't you ever feed them anything normal for snacks like chips or twinkies?" :001_huh: Apparently healthy=weird....maybe that's why there are so many obese children in our country?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Eggs with tomatoes and avocados sounds like something my almost 3-year-old would eat. When we get the backyard playset put in, we're going to have to put a fence around our garden so he doesn't eat all the tomatoes. I have to watch him very, very closely at the store, or he'll pick up an apple or cucumber or head of romaine and start munching on it. My 18-month-old loves fish, tofu, and sour cream (he calls it ice cream)... but will not take a bite out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He hated breastfeeding too, so yeah, he's a little weird. I don't think we've ever been told that our kids are weird, but people have definitely commented on their eating habits. When all the other kids were eating ham, rolls, and mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving, mine were sucking down sweet potato casserole, asparagus, and whole-berry cranberry sauce. We've just always fed them what we eat - a variety of healthy food and Taco Bell once a week. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'd probably say something like "Thanks, we try!" and take it as a compliment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) Don't worry what they think, but I think it might be nice to ask them to stop commenting on your kid's food preferences. I sometimes think people feel like they could be doing more with nutrition for their kids and when they see someone actually doing it, it makes them feel uncomfortable. :grouphug: Edited March 30, 2011 by Snickerdoodle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheekymama Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I would tend to want to comment back and say, "We like to think of it as healthy or different, not weird, but to each his own!" and smile. But to the kids, I would explain to them that to a lot of people their tastes are weird and that isn't a bad thing. Weird means different to lots of folks and different isn't always bad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'd probably say something like "Thanks, we try!" and take it as a compliment. :iagree: This is what I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Seeing what the majority feel is "normal" in society, I'm cool with being "wierd"! I agree. But I don't think people should be calling children "weird" in front of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 When chicken nuggets are the norm what do you expect? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Seeing what the majority feel is "normal" in society, I'm cool with being "wierd"! Amen. Isn't that the truth? Better weird then stereotypical these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I think it has reached a stage where you need to politely tell your friends to back off. I am sure it started out harmless enough but the joke is no longer funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'd probably say something like "Thanks, we try!" and take it as a compliment. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 The only difference between people who are "weird" and people who are "really cool" is that the latter are confident in their choices. Being a conformist is boring. Embrace the idea that you have really cool kids. Or, move to Austin :D Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita in NC Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Embrace your weirdness! Seriously, we are weird and proud of it. I'm not sorry that my kids like healthy foods, that they like to cook, that they spend hours studying on their own time, that they like educational shows, that they can think for themselves, that they are vegetarians, like to hold conversations over dinner instead of surfing the net on their ipods (heck, mine don't even have ipods), or that I actually expect them to help around the house, that I expect to be talked to respectfully and that I actually like spending time with my kids. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I am often told, in front of the kids and privately, that my kids are "weird". It's what I strive for. (I prefer "quirky" to "weird" though.) Really, who wants "normal" or "average" in this day and age? I don't want my kids to be like the rest of white bread, suburban middle America. I want my kids to enjoy unusual food and not be picky eaters. I want them to enjoy learning just to acquire knowledge. I want them to develop their own sense of self. I don't want them to follow the crowd, I don't want them to want to fit in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomemom Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'd probably send an email out or at least talk with the folks that are saying that your kids are "weird". It isn't appropriate. It is harming your children & your oldest is asking questions. No, we aren't all the same, but that doesn't make one weird. That's the beauty of life. Thank God we aren't all the same! Oh, and keep up the good work! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Just say, "Well, we grow organic apples and they don't fall far from the tree." :D :001_smile: Don't worry what they think, but I think it might be nice to ask them to stop commenting on your kid's food preferences. I sometimes think people feel like they could be doing more with nutrition for their kids and when they see someone actually doing it, it makes them feel uncomfortable. :grouphug: :iagree: I've been known to call my own kids different or unusual when speaking of their eating preferences, but I am proud of their differences. An anecdote: When DS was 2, he was at my mother's house. She went to the freezer & told him that she had a treat for him. (It was a frozen Reese's cup.) DS caught a glimpse of the orange she was picking up, and asked enthusiastically, "Is it CARROTS?!" She looked at him strangely, and told him that it was chocolate. DS looked forlorn for a moment, and then asked hopefully, "Well... do you HAVE carrots?" My littles prefer to snack on bell pepper slices, cucumbers, broccoli, and granola. They ask for guacamole on their tacos. They like bean sprout, tomato, and avocado omelets. I wish I had the eating habits they do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I don't want to make a big deal out of something that isn't but I also don't want my kids to feel different or weird. I try to laugh it off, but it can sting, as I was called weird, children ran screaming from me shouting about my germs, kids would "dare" each other to touch me because I was so belittled, etc. So, I would beam "weird and proud" unless someone was nasty. Then I might be inclined to tell them their kids are "banal", and leave them to find a dictionary to figure out what you just said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Robyn Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I think it has reached a stage where you need to politely tell your friends to back off. I am sure it started out harmless enough but the joke is no longer funny. :iagree: I think if you explained it to them the same way you explained it here, your friends would understand and make an effort to stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Robyn Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'd probably send an email out or at least talk with the folks that are saying that your kids are "weird". It isn't appropriate. It is harming your children & your oldest is asking questions. No, we aren't all the same, but that doesn't make one weird. That's the beauty of life. Thank God we aren't all the same! Oh, and keep up the good work! :D :iagree:with that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I would tend to want to comment back and say, "We like to think of it as healthy or different, not weird, but to each his own!" and smile. I think it has reached a stage where you need to politely tell your friends to back off. I am sure it started out harmless enough but the joke is no longer funny. I agree with both these posters - I think M&M's response would graciously do what kewb suggested. I would be tempted to say, "You know, my kids are getting a little tired of being called weird. Could we stop with this now?" I do not tend to be particularly tactful - I think direct is best. :D ETA: Try the gracious way first. If that doesn't work, try mine. Also, I wanted to let you know to expect us for future meals and snacks at your house. YUM! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeganW Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Having triplets generates a lot of somewhat similar negative-but-not-really-meanting to be rude comments. "I'd kill myself if I were you" and the like. I used to respond kindly like this person. I'd probably say something like "Thanks, we try!" and take it as a compliment. Having heard it a bazillion times though, at this point I am done being nice and so I correct them. "Wow! What a terrible thing to say! We feel so blessed to have them! We love our kids so much, and wouldn't have it any other way!" The equivalent for you would be: "Wow! What a rude thing to say! We are so glad that our kids eat healthy food rather than having their brains grown on processed junk like so many others!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooblink Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 The only difference between people who are "weird" and people who are "really cool" is that the latter are confident in their choices. Being a conformist is boring. Embrace the idea that you have really cool kids. Or, move to Austin :D Bill You beat me to it, Bill. I was going to suggest she both embrace it, and consider moving to Austin! Cindy, who doesn't own a "Keep Austin Weird" t-shirt, but loves the sentiment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I would answer with a smile, "Not weird, just healthy". Then pass the organic black bean dip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in Mo Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) It sounds like they mean it as a high compliment. I would take it as such, but also make sure the kids know that weird is good. And honestly, weird is the Holy Grail of coolness now with most teens. It means you are unique and unmatchable. Weird is wonderful and awkward is awesome. I need to stitch that on a pillow somewhere. :D Edited March 30, 2011 by Jenn in Mo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rlugbill Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I always tell my dd that "weird is good". We discovered that weird is a word that kids use to get other kids to conform. They feel better about themselves if others do, think, and act as they do, so they label anyone different as being "weird". We banned the word for a while when we heard the neighbor kids labeling our dd as "weird". There is such pressure on kids from their peers to conform and the word "weird" is one way that conformity is enforced. It's like living in a totalitarian society where you are told how to think and act. And there are police all around you trying to get you to conform to their standards of what to do and what to believe. They are trying to put you down for being different. They are trying to keep you in your place. It is scary for them for anyone to deviate from the norm, so they try hard to keep you eating the same junk they eat, watching the same stupid tv shows they watch and believing in materialism and conformity as the main values in life, just like they do. We just have to learn to accept the fact that being weird is ok. To embrace weirdness because the alternative is to have the same meaningless life as the anti-weirdness enforcers out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I embrace my weirdness. If wanting egg's Benedict is weird then I give up. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 My favorite tactic if someone accuses my dd or me of weirdness is to say, "Define normal." Everyone I have ever tried that on quickly dropped the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) I always say "Thank you!" I don't usually get the word, 'weird', however. I get, "Your children are 'different', and it's usually said in a nice way. Edited March 31, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I feel some response would be necessary if only to affirm my children aloud if others are critical within their hearing. Since it seems that most of the comments are related to food, keep your response to that topic while refuting their assertion. "We don't think it is weird at all and are very happy that they have mature food tastes/or we are grateful that we don't have any food issues in our home." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 The only difference between people who are "weird" and people who are "really cool" is that the latter are confident in their choices. Being a conformist is boring. Embrace the idea that you have really cool kids. Or, move to Austin :D Bill Or Asheville. I have taught my kids that anyone who tries to label someone else feels inferior themselves or are just plain ignorant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarawatsonim Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I embrace my weirdness. If wanting egg's Benedict is weird then I give up. :iagree: It's my favourite food in the world. I personally think the world would be a better place if everything came with a side of Hollandaise sauce.;) My dd6 loves eggs benny and cried once when she was 3 because a restaurant didn't have steamed broccoli as a side option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrogMom5 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 It would be boring to be anything else! Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'd smile and wink back as I commented "At least they aren't rude!" After all, the smile and the wink means you don't really mean it, right? ;) (see if they who dish it out can take it!) Then just move on. Most folks are just shooting their mouth's off w/o thinking how it sounds when they make comments like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Has anyone mentioned the book Bringing Up Geeks? It's a good book that tells you why it's preferable to be weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest momk2000 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 What? Because they aren't like everyone else? One awesome benefit of homeschooling - our kids can express their individuality and are not afraid to be themselves. My dd's ps friends will sometimes tell her she is a little "weird", but it doesn't bother her, she is happy to be herself. :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyw Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 This reminds me of a book I enjoyed from the library. It's cheap from amazon right now, so I'll probably buy it to keep. http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Up-Geeks-Childhood-Grow-Up-Too-Fast/dp/B001RNI27C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1301503967&sr=8-1 I am thrilled my kids will eat things like chopped up peppers as a snack, but yes, others might see it as weird. I'm okay with that, as long as they don't verbalize it - that would really make me mad. Kids do NOT need others to tell them what they do is weird. Sheesh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyw Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Has anyone mentioned the book Bringing Up Geeks? It's a good book that tells you why it's preferable to be weird. HA! Great minds think alike. Before I went back to read other responses, I just posted a link to this book on amazon. I read it once from the library but now plan to buy it since it's only $5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I always shrug and say "Kids eat what you give them" My dd eats anything. She likes all sorts of healthy things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I spent most of my life being told I wasn't "right" because I wasn't like everyone else. I had my own beat going in my head, but was never allowed to march to it. I HAD to be like everyone else. I vowed to NEVER do that to my kids. So yeah, they're weird. Both of my kids have their own drummers in their heads, and I let them march to it. It's the weird people that make a mark on the world. I embrace and support the weirdness! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 HA! Great minds think alike. Before I went back to read other responses, I just posted a link to this book on amazon. I read it once from the library but now plan to buy it since it's only $5. I just bought it last week. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skissugar Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I was reading this when my 12yr old ds came up behind me and read the title of this post.. He said mom what is that post about? So I told him... HIS words of advice.. " tell them thank you! I take that as a compliment! I don't like being a cookie cutter person :) so for you to call me weird means what I'm doing is working!" Ds evidently gets called weird too.. That is his comeback lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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