tangomoon Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 DD (5) came out of her room this morning dressed for a birthday party in a striped shirt, plaid jumper, and striped tights, none of which were in the same color combination. She felt so pretty and fancy for the party. If it hadn't been for all the competing color combinations and patterns, the outfit was fine weather wise and appropriate for the occasion. How do other moms of girls deal with these situations? She's my oldest, so this is all new territory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) I could have written this post 9 years ago :001_smile: My daughter and I were just discussing in the car how from the age of 4-6 she wore black patent leather shoes with everything (pants, skirts, shorts, bathing suits, pajamas). My daughter not only wore such creative outfits she also wore her halloween costumes (princess in September, princess in December with patent leather shoes, princess in the summer), dance recital outfits and any other dress up clothes at home and outside the house. For her 8th birthday she wore a white princess dress to her party at Build A bear. It was in late November and she was wearing this white short dress with thin straps. I was freezing just looking at her. She thought she looked beautiful! She was pleased as punch with herself. All the other kids chose traditional party attire. I had no desire to reign in her self expression. It began to die down around 3rd/4th grade. Now she just smiles when she sees a little girl in a tutu at Trader Joes. Edited February 12, 2011 by gingersmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I let it go. If other adults are really forming opinions about me by my kids' clothes they've got issues. My 3yo wore purple sweat pants, and orange sweatshirt and a pink tutu on top to a basketball game today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 DD (5) came out of her room this morning dressed for a birthday party in a striped shirt, plaid jumper, and striped tights, none of which were in the same color combination. She felt so pretty and fancy for the party. If it hadn't been for all the competing color combinations and patterns, the outfit was fine weather wise and appropriate for the occasion. How do other moms of girls deal with these situations? She's my oldest, so this is all new territory. It used to drive me crazy, but I finally decided to let it go for most things. I don't really care what other people think, and I'd rather have one less thing to fight over with her each day. I'll usually point out why something doesn't quite match and suggest or offer to help her find something that does, but she's usually adamant that she wants to keep what she's wearing. Anyone who knows her also knows her personality--that's all the explanation they need :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I just smile and tell her she's beautiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Sometimes I let it go, if we are not going anywhere that day. But if I do care about her matching I say something like this: Oh honey, let's go find a shirt that matches those pants better or pants that match that shirt better. Which one do you really want to wear and we'll go see what we can find that goes with that. I also mention things like, if we have on a striped (thing) then the matching (thing) needs to be solid. I guess I've done it enough times that she doesn't give me too much trouble. Plus all 3 of the older ones have had problems like this when they were little. And sometimes still do. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Mine still does this at 9! I ignore it unless it is an important event. Then I just point it out to her and tell her what to wear. So far all my guidance hasn't helped. Yesterday she got ready for a special time out with me and was wearing pink, brown socks and very blue shoes. :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 My dd is 10 and will still wear an outfit like that on occasion. My rule is (for general wear) it has to be weather appropriate after that she can make her own decision. We have had discussions about being judged by what you wear and the impression you want to make. I figure if she is happy with the way she looks who am I to tell her otherwise. She has her own sense of style and I go with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 LOL Skyler had on a pair of jeans a blue top with a gold butterfly and one pink tutu and one blue tutu with cowboys boots!!! Thats my girl!!!!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 DD (5) came out of her room this morning dressed for a birthday party in a striped shirt, plaid jumper, and striped tights, none of which were in the same color combination. She felt so pretty and fancy for the party. If it hadn't been for all the competing color combinations and patterns, the outfit was fine weather wise and appropriate for the occasion. How do other moms of girls deal with these situations? She's my oldest, so this is all new territory. If it doesn't bother you, take a picture for the scrap-book and enjoy the moment. If it does bug you, or if you think she's going to encounter a set of snooty age-5 friends who care about it, go ahead, explain gently and help her choose something different to wear. I generally let my dd do whatever she likes in the realm of dress unless it it's terribly inappropriate or I think she'll get teased, both of which happened a bit more as she got older. To head off these things generally, I gave my dd instruction when it was not necessary, before an incident occurred. For example, maybe we'd be folding clothes. I'd say, "Let's put these away together because they make a set and they match this way--solids with stripes!" She was very quick to pick up on that. I recently told her a story of a mother I met in England who wouldn't let her daughter go out in something, and said (put on your best British accent), "We do not dress like silly girls because we are not silly girls!" DD and DS both thought it was hysterical. All I have to say to her now is, "We are NOT silly girls!" in a crazy accent and she'll have a good laugh. Incidentally, she dresses modestly and well now—but definitely has her own sense of style that's fun. She's much better at it than I am! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 If we're going somewhere where it matters to me, then I make them change. I'll suggest which item they could keep on, and what shirt/pants/dress would go better with what they're wearing. I let them wear what they want at home. I occasionally let them wear slightly mismatched things when we go out, like to the store or something like that. But church, a party, etc... I have veto rights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Oh honey, let's go find a shirt that matches those pants better or pants that match that shirt better. Which one do you really want to wear and we'll go see what we can find that goes with that. I also mention things like, if we have on a striped (thing) then the matching (thing) needs to be solid. I guess I've done it enough times that she doesn't give me too much trouble. This. It helps to explain to them why they can't wear what they chose. Eventually it sinks in and they start making better choices for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I just smile and tell her she's beautiful. This. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I have learned to pick my battles. So at this point in my life, I would do exactly what Karen said. Smile and tell her she's beautiful! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I guess I'm the mean mom because I flat-out tell the child that X doesn't go with Y and that he/she has to pick which one he/she wants to wear more. Back when I only had two kids, I used to make sure that both kids' outfits were color-coordinated with each other but at this point, I'll settle for each kid's outfit being co-ordinated with itself :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I just smile and tell her she's beautiful. This. Absolutely. I love that she has her own sense of style and what she wants to wear and I hope she never outgrows it. (And mine goes to public school...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I guess I'm the mean mom because I flat-out tell the child that X doesn't go with Y and that he/she has to pick which one he/she wants to wear more. I used to do this, but really, she started coming up with some very cute combinations! I'm a very "khaki pants and pastel shirt" kind of girl myself, so I really shouldn't be the one to squash her creativity :lol: Especially since the bigger one still requires that I pick out her clothes for her (black leggings, shirt that doesn't make her scream) on a near daily basis *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I fall into the 'let it go camp' unless we are doing professional pix or going to a wedding or something. There are bigger fish to fry IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 My boys do this too. It doesn't really matter to me anyway (I think it's adorable, actually)... but even if I cared, the phrase "choose your battles" is a cornerstone of my parenting philosophy. I'll use my parenting authority when it's important, but conversely, I try not to use it for things that simply don't matter that much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I recently told her a story of a mother I met in England who wouldn't let her daughter go out in something, and said (put on your best British accent), "We do not dress like silly girls because we are not silly girls!" DD and DS both thought it was hysterical. All I have to say to her now is, "We are NOT silly girls!" in a crazy accent and she'll have a good laugh. Incidentally, she dresses modestly and well now—but definitely has her own sense of style that's fun. She's much better at it than I am! :lol::lol::lol::lol: That IS hysterical - because I actually know more than one mom like that!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougarmom4 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Don't you want to just pin on a badge that reads, "I dressed myself." My problem is when they insist on doing their own hair...oh my goodness! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imprimis Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Both my daughters have their own sense of (sometimes quirky) style. It's fine with me. And, I'm not surprised they are both fans of the socks from the store Little MisMatched.....they don't match. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Take a picture and let her go to the party just as she is. When she's a teen and has to wear everything just so, take the picture out and sniffle. She's 5. If it matches to her, it matches. :) I miss those little mis-matched outfits. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 All my little girls did this. I just let it go unless it was an important occasion. I chose clothes if we were going to church, a wedding, or out to eat with husband's boss. Two funny stories. My friend had just had a C-section with her third child. We went to visit. She was vry groggy but I remember her first words to us. "J must have dressed herself." Not hi or have you seen the baby but a comment on my daughter's clothes. My youngest is 7 years younger that her closest sister. A is always trying to make me have K change her clothes because they don't match. When I tell A she dressed the same way at K's age she always says "And you let me!" in a most shocked voice. (The worst was when K was learning to do her own hair and did pigtails. She had extra hair left over so made a third in the back of her head. And then we all went to the grocery store. A was embarrassed and K was so proud. I was just busy.) Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 My youngest is 7 years younger that her closest sister. A is always trying to make me have K change her clothes because they don't match. When I tell A she dressed the same way at K's age she always says "And you let me!" in a most shocked voice. (The worst was when K was learning to do her own hair and did pigtails. She had extra hair left over so made a third in the back of her head. And then we all went to the grocery store. A was embarrassed and K was so proud. I was just busy.) Maybe the reason I'm such a fashion Nazi with my kids is that I have very distinct memories of being that mortified older sister :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 When we go through the clothes at the start of a season we discuss clothing choices, matching clothes, and put together "outfits" that look nice for everyday wear. We also look over special-occasion clothes. The outfits go in a special place so that she can just grab one in the morning; I put them back together when I fold the laundry. Occasionally she'll come ask me if "this pair of pants" goes with "this dress", etc., and she'll mix it up a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 When my dd was younger she would where striped shirt and striped paints, flowered shirt with flowered pants, etc. I would sugget that she might consider making a different choice that matched better. She would say, "But they match--they are both stripes." :001_smile: I realized that I had to be clearer about societal perceptions of what "match" meant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) I love the crazy combinations my DD comes down with. Pea green and oragne anyyone? With pink pants? And black socks? And some costume jewelry? DH and I call her our "little Zsa Zsa." I've always figured that she's rebelling against her teeshirt/khakis mama. We let it go. Most of the time. The clothing has to be weather appropriate because I'm not carrying her or listening to her whine if she's cold. And the butt hanging out of anything in public? That can't happen either because if I ever caught some freak staring at it, I'd end up in jail for murder. And homeschooling from jail would just be hard. :tongue_smilie: Other than that, we let it all go. And I do intend to tease her when she's older and cares oh so much. Edited February 12, 2011 by Jennifer3141 Did I misspell teeshirt?? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) tell her she looks so beautiful, take a picture and move on. I have grown to love my dd creative expression of some of her outfits. I only draw the line at crocs without socks in the winter time and tank tops in the winter if we are leaving the house. Edited February 13, 2011 by lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 :iagree: They will grow up so quickly. I just smile and tell her she's beautiful. If you need wardrobe coordination, hang or store her stuff in sets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I'm sure I am echoing plenty of other responders, but I would just let her wear it. I let my kids wear whatever they like, so long as it is clean. Some days that means costumes, capes, a sword run through a belt loop, knee socks with sandals and shorts... :D It doesn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 My son wore a tie-dye shirt, baseball pants, black church socks, and flip-flops every. single. day. for almost a year. I let it go. It was SO HARD sometimes, but he felt "big and strong" in that outfit. I have so many pictures of him doing everything BUT playing baseball in that outfit, it's almost ridiculous. They outgrow it SO FAST. Don't worry about it. Let. it. go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 DD is 2, and I encourage her to wear what she wants to wear. She wore her dragon costume to the doctor's office the other day. It's what she wanted to wear. Most days, we're one princess or another, and VERY often we're Tinkerbell. And almost every outfit is completed by Baby Legs. :lol: All I get ate comments on how adorable she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 For a kids birthday party: "What a lovely outfit sweetie." For a company Christmas party for dh: "What a lovely outfit sweetie. I really like what you chose but today we are going somewhere more conservative. Which of the things you are wearing is your favorite? I'll help you pick out a few options to go with it." I try to stay out of clothing discussions as long as the choices are weather appropriate and cover the necessary bits. My theory is that most people have (or had) kids and understand (my girls get lots of positive comments on their style when we are out). The only time I step in is if I truly believe that allowing them to wear what they want will have a negative impact on someone (which is very, very rare). It has taken me a long time to separate my kids clothing choices from my success as a parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I let it go. By the way, here's a picture of my daughter, age 10, wearing an outfit she just HAD to wear to Girl Scouts one fall night. It involved: A pair of jean capris winter snow boots a Hannah Montana teeshirt her Girl Scouts vest a fancy little beaded purse and a pair of sunglasses (mind you, Girl Scouts is at night). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 You read her this book... Ella Sarah Gets Dressed http://www.amazon.com/Ella-Sarah-Dressed-Margaret-Chodos-Irvine/dp/0152164138/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297555237&sr=8-1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 If it's an event I care about, I tell them it doesn't match. If it's not an event I care about, I let it go. This is true for the boys, too. If it's something I know I'm going to care about, I usually head them off at the pass and either tell them what to wear or pick it with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabrizia Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I do the same thing I do with DS, though most of the time DS just lets me chose his clothes for him, I let it go. If it is somewhere that it matter, my Grandmother's 80th birthday party for example I just chose the clothes for them first. Otherwise if DD wants to wear yellow striped leggings with a hot pink flowered dress and a blue tutu, she is welcome too. That being said DD is still young enough that it is easy for me to change her if it is important. Even at almost 2 though she is quite certain of what she wants to wear though, and has been for months now, unlike DS who 95% of the time could care less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 This is so my DD. She has always liked bright color combinations, whether or not they match. If it's decent and weather-appropriate, I let it go. Unless she's going to encounter other kids who might tease her, I wouldn't worry about it, and even then, maybe she's strong enough not to care what other kids think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I have a 3yo with an..... oh let's just say eclectic sense of fashion. Yesterday for our Valentine's Day party, she wore a fluffy red skirt, gray shirt with a rainbow-colored flower, blue striped tights, and her black boots. She knew she looked good. I figure you can only get away with an outfit like that when you're 3, so I just go with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I let it go. DD is 4, almost 5, and has her own sense of style. She has dressed herself since she was 3 and I only say something if she's under- or overdressed for the weather. I've actually gotten compliments for how she dresses and when I tell people she picks her own clothes they are often surprised. She has an interesting sense of style (right now she is wearing a hot pink sequined shirt and capris with a black tutu and knee-high red boots) but it definitely speaks of who she is. She's only going to be a kid once. Why shouldn't she dress like one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I take a picture and tell her she looks fabulous. These years are precious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skueppers Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I let my kids wear whatever they want as long as it suits the season. I do talk with them about what matches, but not when they've already gotten dressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 let them wear what they want. It's not a hill to die on and most other parents have been there done that. Personally-I *love* my little girl's mismatched outfits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) I with the leave it be folks. :) I've always loved when they've done that. I think it's so cute. I would never say a thing against it. Unless she is supposed to be wearing a flower girl outfit for an actual wedding, I've never said a word. I'd encourage it. I'll go one further. If people notice or say anything (never have, that I've noticed), I would be very proud to say that I have an independent, creative, & competent child. That would please me, and if they acted shocked, that would please me even more. ;) Edited February 13, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 let them wear what they want. It's not a hill to die on and most other parents have been there done that. Personally-I *love* my little girl's mismatched outfits. Me too! It's creative, and it shows that they aren't trying to be like everyone else. I tend to worry about little ones who want to buy outfits from certain stores etc for a certain look (although I know that is not what we are tlkaing about, but it did cross my mind). Stripey tights with polka dot rain boots? Have at it! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I don't say anything negative and let it go! I am frankly surprised at how many times she puts together an outfit I wouldn't have and it actually looks creative or goes together.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyWImom Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 My dd is fairly shy, especially in new situations, but her clothes & accessories do not reflect that at all!:D She is very "themed", and has been wearing tons of Valentine related items for 2 weeks. We had a therapy appointment this week, and in addition to the pink outfit & jewelry, she drew pink hearts on both cheeks. She has a Little House on the Prairie style bonnet, and has worn that many, many, many times, will dress like a cat, and other animals, and she is very flamboyant in her style. Mixes patterns with pattern tights, you name it. The funny thing is, it works for her. And, I am thrilled that she isn't "going along with the crowd". She wears what she wants & likes, even if she looks different from anyone else. If she asks me about things matching, I will tell her, but other than weather appropriate mandates, I let her do her own thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punchie Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 DD is 4, and unless it is truly, truly inappropriate, I let it go. Today she wore a white/yellow horizontal striped shirt, baby blue tulle skirt, white leggings w/silver polka dots, and magenta patent leather shoes. I have let her go out to run errands wearing fairy wings. Kind of a pain w/a carseat, but hey...it made her happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I just go with the flow and enjoy her creativity and self-expression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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