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Prayers and good wishes desperately needed.

I talk to the trees
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I talk to the trees

I talk to the trees

Posted
Posted (edited)

My whole world is falling apart right now. Please, please, please, send as many prayers and good vibes as possible that my little family makes it through this, and that I can just get through today. I'm too numb to go into details, but I know you all are a great and supportive bunch.

 

eta: Thanks.

 

edited again for the story now that I'm a bit calmer: (Thank the Lord for Xanax.) So last night around midnight, dh tells me that he thinks that dd and I should go home and move in with my parents. He says that he can't make everyone happy even though he wishes he could, and that he needs the freedom to do what he needs to do to pursue his career. So I asked him if this meant divorce, and all he could say is that it's an idea he has entertained. I'm still in total shock. So there's my story.

 

Mods: I hope this doesn't violate the spouse-bashing rules. It isn't intended to. I just need a place to vent.

 

Okay, one last edit, to make my story a bit more coherent. Does any of the above make sense?

Edited by flutistmom
trying to make it make sense
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Hedgehog

Hedgehog

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Posted

Aw sweetie, I'm so sorry for you. :grouphug: I'll surely pray for you.

 

Dh and I nearly broke up 3 yrs ago, as our relationship was in a real mess. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I totally lived in the moment - it was impossible to cope with any more. Eventually we decided to stay together for the kids' sake. We could both see that we'd made some terrible mistakes. We've been working on it since then, and I can honestly say that it can get better if you both want it to work.

 

PM me if you want to, I'd be glad to help you if I can.

 

Hedgehog x

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BeckyFL

BeckyFL

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Posted (edited)

So sorry you're going through this. Is it possible that he needs some words of encouragement (wondering about the can't make everyone happy comment) and some counseling for himself as well as for the marriage? Maybe he is having feelings of failure. Can't keep his family happy, career needs work, etc and the safest bet is the career? Sounds like a lot of negative thoughts coming into his head that may have no foundation whatsoever and with counseling, he may see that. I really have no idea, but it would be good to really find out what he's thinking. Words like that can sometimes be a cry for help or a desire for you to tell him otherwise too. Praying for you! :grouphug::grouphug:

Edited by BeckyFL
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lisamarie

lisamarie

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Posted
:grouphug: and prayers!

 

is it possible he is depressed? i have seen many husbands down/depressed over the state of affairs lately... jobs, finances, and such. could you ask him to see a marriage counselor? i'm so sorry you guys are going through this.

 

Jennifer

 

:iagree: This was my first thought based on how he worded his comment about not being able to keep everyone happy. Also, could something be going on at work that he isn't telling you? Whatever the reason, your family is in my prayers.

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FaithManor

FaithManor

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(((HUGS)))

 

I am so sorry and will be praying for you. Two thoughts...don't be hard on yourself and just do what you need to survive. Make him see a doctor for a full physical including blood work up as part of any agreement you make with him. My dad went through a really bad time a couple of years after I got married. My mom never told me but he considered leaving her. She demanded he see his doctor....low and behold....very low testosterone. He was a new man after some hormone supplements.

 

I will remember you in the days to come.

Faith

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Beetkvass

Beetkvass

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:grouphug: I'm so sorry. If I can make a suggestion, do not move out of the house and give him possession of it like that. If he wants to separate I'd expect him to move out. Asking you to move in with your parents sounds like a way to avoid the financial responsibility of providing for you and your child while still keeping his home. It strikes me as very odd that he would ask y'all to move out rather than find a way to move out himself if he wants to separate.

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