If you found yourself suddenly single...

[Michelle My Bell]

If you found yourself suddenly single, and you had not gone to college, what would you do for income?

 

I was talking with some ladies about this recently and I am pondering the issue. How would "I" suddenly take care of my kids? Should I go to college? If so, what career would be a good choice? It would need to be a career that didn't require years of schooling, but paid well.

 

As a mom, I would never want to give up homeschooling so it would have to fit into the plan as well. I am just thinking about this because where I stand in my life right now, we have no savings and no chance of changing that from what I can see. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my husband providing for us anymore.

[Mommyfaithe]

If you found yourself suddenly single, and you had not gone to college, what would you do for income?

 

I was talking with some ladies about this recently and I am pondering the issue. How would "I" suddenly take care of my kids? Should I go to college? If so, what career would be a good choice? It would need to be a career that didn't require years of schooling, but paid well.

 

As a mom, I would never want to give up homeschooling so it would have to fit into the plan as well. I am just thinking about this because where I stand in my life right now, we have no savings and no chance of changing that from what I can see. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my husband providing for us anymore.

 

:bigear:

 

I am there with you.

[missmoe]

Well I would do what ever I could to earn money up front. Babysitting, cleaning, tutoring, ect. I do have a church that would help me with school if I needed it. I'm not sure what I would study though. If I was single through death, life insurance, then I would have a cushion to help me through.

[Rosie_0801]

I did go to uni and would have the same problem except homeschoolers here are exempted from the work obligations for the single parent pension. Hardly ideal, but that would be my best option.

 

Rosie

Edited May 21, 2010 by Rosie_0801

[Mejane]

I would spend a year sucking it up, and work while going to school for a certificate in something that would support us (transcriptionist, hygienist, tech of some kind). My kids are old enough to be independent, but if they were not, I would probably send them back to school.

[fairfarmhand]

I honestly have no clue. We do have life insurance on dh, so if it was through death, financially we'd be just fine. But I wouldn't want to hand over my children to strangers. It would be a hard call. I'd probably end up teaching (after I got a degree) so I could spend time with the kids, if nothing else opened up to enable me to stay home and homeschool them.

[cathmom]

If I were single and had no money, I would get a job as an assistant in a Montessori school, put all my dc who were under 8th grade into it, and leave the older ones to homeschool independently while I was at work.

[Blessedfamily]

This is why it may be a good idea for those with this particular concern to get a certificate/degree of some kind now, while everything is ok. Prepare before/just in case you ever need it. That's what I'm doing.

[Gooblink]

We have good life insurance policies, so we'd be fine financially. I can't imagine having to face the rest of my days without my best friend, though.

 

If he left or I left, neither of which I see happening...but...I know stranger things have happened to others...I'd probably pack the kids and move back to the small town where I grew up and enlist the support of friends and family until I get back on my feet. My family isn't one of means, but is definitely one to look out for each other.

 

God willing, this would never happen. :)

[5knights3maidens]

I have been thinking about this for awhile. I never went to college. But, I did just post about a job opportunity 2 minutes down the street. I'm really thinking about it. It would give me extra money and I could start helping pay off some credit.

[LizzyBee]

I am actually the breadwinner in our family, so I don't foresee being in that situation.

 

However, I think I'd get whatever job I could, sign up for whatever gov benefits I'd be eligible for temporarily, and take comm college classes to prepare myself for a step up as quickly as possible. I'd try to find a certificate program that interests me and pays decently first, and then keep trying to work up from there. Most cc's offer online classes now, so if I were working out of the home, I'd try to take online classes to minimize my time away from my kids. Of course, a lot depends on the ages of your kids, availablilty of family to help with childcare or subsidized child care that you'd trust enough to leave your kids, etc.

[babysparkler]

We have good life insurance policies, so we'd be fine financially. I can't imagine having to face the rest of my days without my best friend, though.

 

 

 

:iagree:

[mom4knights]

If I were single and had no money, I would get a job as an assistant in a Montessori school, put all my dc who were under 8th grade into it, and leave the older ones to homeschool independently while I was at work.

 

Working at a school is a good idea. I went to college and my degree is in accounting. I worked for a CPA firm for 6+ yrs. before ds#1 was born. I have thought that if something ever happened I might try to teach accounting classes/business classes at a christian school where the kiddos would be.

 

I know I am bias, but I think accounting is a great field to go into -- it can open the door to lots of possibilities.

[MaryCatherine]

Well, I was suddenly single, not through death, sadly. Praise the Lord that I was already an RN. I work weekends, homeschool during the week, provide completely and fairly well for my family of five.

 

My oldest daughter is a pharmacy tech. She simply studied and took the test. At our hospital, they make between $14-17 per hour. And the hospital is paying for her nursing school. Could. Not. Be. Better.

 

I can't stress enough to my girls to prepare to be a provider. Death isn't the only thing that can tear a family apart.

[StephanieZ]

+ life insurance & disability insurance on dh

 

I think everyone should have those insurances on whichever parents are counted on for income. I'd be OK if those disasters befell us, and could keep doing what I'm doing for as long as the kids needed me at home. . . but would likely need to work FT once the kids were out of the house. (As it is, I hope to avoid that.)

 

Beyond that, if my dh was just mad, left me for a bimbo, etc. . . then I'd be entitled to substantial $$ support so long as he wasn't mad enough to not work. ;)

 

If he was THAT mad (to not work at his full earning potential), then I'd get a job. I do have a substantial education, and would probably teach high school science/math or community college. I might move to another town/state to have higher earning power as WV doesn't pay their teachers very well, but my hometown in NoVA pays very well. I might also consider working in my current field (managing a vet practice) but I'd rather teach a 9 mos schedule than work 12 mos in management. So, I guess I'd have to explore my options.

 

Frankly, having a fall back way to earn money is one of the reasons that I think everyone is best served by developing a career/education of some sort before having kids. You never know what insanity might befall you or your spouse. . .

[StephanieZ]

Well, I was suddenly single, not through death, sadly.

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[AuntieM]

In the immediate aftermath, I would maintain status quo for a few months with the help of a generous life insurance plan. After what seemed like the right amount of time, we would probably downsize to more economical housing (we have a lot of equity in our current house and its sale should provide for a fully-paid-for smaller home).

 

Then it would depend on my kids' ages. I'd like to hold out to getting the rest of the elders into juco, at which time I could perhaps return with them for training in nursing. Little late baby would be fine at a the local Christian school for a year or two.

 

This is something I have thought through since dh's cancer diagnosis last year, and while he is currently cancer-free, it it something for which to have a back-burner plan. Not to dwell on it, but to feel prepared (well, as much as one could be for the early death of a spouse).

 

Again, so much depends on the ages of one's children. Though committed to home schooling, I would be more concerned about the ability to meet my kids' all-around needs without burning out trying to be *everything* for them. If all my kids were younger, I would most likely make a decision for the best non-home-schooling alternative for their education, so that I could follow through with what I myself need to be able to provide for their overall welfare. Like in a depressurized plane, putting on your own oxygen mask first, kwim?

[Renee in NC]

If you found yourself suddenly single, and you had not gone to college, what would you do for income?

 

I was talking with some ladies about this recently and I am pondering the issue. How would "I" suddenly take care of my kids? Should I go to college? If so, what career would be a good choice? It would need to be a career that didn't require years of schooling, but paid well.

 

As a mom, I would never want to give up homeschooling so it would have to fit into the plan as well. I am just thinking about this because where I stand in my life right now, we have no savings and no chance of changing that from what I can see. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my husband providing for us anymore.

 

My dh has $200K life insurance through the VA and another $25K through his employer. Between that and his social security survivor benefits (about $1800 a month), we would get by.

 

ETA: If dh were to leave me and I didn't have a college degree, I would get whatever job I could at night and live on that and the child support he would have to pay me. I would not be worse off financially, even if I was only making minimum wage.

Edited May 21, 2010 by Renee in FL

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I wouldn't be able to go to school, which would take time and money I wouldn't have (assuming it was a situation where I wasn't able to get the life insurance we have in place).

 

I'd dive head-first into making my photography a real business. Not sure it would make enough, but I could do it right away with the equipment I have, work around my children and homeschooling, and gradually add new equipment as I could afford it.

 

I might look into other educational options as my kids get older, though.

[StartingOver]

Honestly if I suddenly found myself single. I would be a widow ! I would have social security for the kids as long as they are schooling. That would be enough to support our homeschooling life style to the end. Then I would have to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. To me homeschooling is top priority.

 

I might have his life insurance too, which would help out. We made future plans before my youngest son was even born. My husband had heart stents put in while I was pregnant with him, and on bedrest at 6 months. Immediately when he got out he planned for the event that I might be alone someday.

 

Luckily we are debt free, and live frugally.

Edited May 21, 2010 by alatexan68

[TammyinTN]

Since the only way we would be parted is death... I would use some of the life insurance policy and go to nursing school. It's always been a dream of mine.

[Wheres Toto]

BTDT - through divorce, with one child who was not homeschooling, no child support. I moved in with my mother for awhile, worked nights while going to school days and didn't sleep. I ended up stopping school for a while to return to being an Executive Assistant working days since it paid much better than my night job. I did eventually finish my degrees.

 

If it happened now through a death, I would have enough life insurance to be okay for quite a while and would probably do some childcare out of my home to bring in a little bit more and stretch out the life insurance.

 

If it was through divorce (which I don't think will ever happen but I'm certainly the last person to say "never") I'd probably go back to work as an executive assistant again. It's probably the best paying job I can get in a hurry. Child support would be pretty good given dh's salary. My mother is retiring this summer so I could probably get her to watch my kids for me so at least I wouldn't have the daycare expense for the younger guys - although I would probably have to put them in ps.

[angela in ohio]

We have a plan. We'd live on life insurance until second dd graduates, finishing my degree all the while (I'm doing that anyway.) Then when youngest was ready for high school, I would put him in and go to work, which would allow me to help dc pay for college and to save for retirement.

 

I know you might not have enough church help in place right now to support you if you were widowed, so I wold think about life insurance plans. It is an inexpensive way to have that security. As your church grows, you could rely on that instead.

 

Also, if I could stomach it (not vomit and faint,) I'd go into a medical field in a heartbeat. You can get a two year degree at the community college, and they accomodate adult schedules.

[staceyobu]

I'm already a nurse... but if I wasn't, I would get a job at a hospital as a secretary or something. A lot of hospitals will pay for nursing school if you work there and agree to sign a contract. I would probably do that and get through school. It would be a rough couple of years, but nursing school is relatively short for a guaranteed decent paying job.

[Tap]

I am a pharmacy technician. I didn't go to college for it. I would continue as a tech. There aren't a lot of entry level jobs that would pay what I currently make. I make $17 something an hour and have decent benefits. Unfortunately, I am also maxed out on wages so, while I make more that a lot of entry level jobs, if someone could take a lower paying job to begin with, they could easily surpass me in a few years.

[manylilblessings]

I would make sure I could live off his life insurance. If he divorced me (big if) with 6 kids, he'd be paying enough CS to support me too.

[Catherine]

She got a job doing tech support for asian callers, which allowed her to work from home from 6 PM until 3 AM. She then put herself through a 2 year RN program and is working as a float nurse now and going to NP school.

 

Not easy with three kids, no child support, but she luckily has a very supportive father and childless sis who have helped her a great deal. They are a lovely family and she is one of the hardest working people I know.

[Carrie12345]

Will anyone take me too seriously and report me for saying I'd be collecting life insurance, one way or another? :lol::lol::lol:

[missmoe]

Carrie---

 

LOL!!!!:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Parrothead]

If I'm single because dh had kicked it, I'll get the insurance money and finish my degree through distance learning while homeschooling dd.

 

If dh leaves me, I'll finish my degree through distance learning while dh pays for it through court order. While I'm finishing my degree via distance learning dd can continue to homeschool and I'll supplement our income by working evenings. When I have the degree, I'll go to work full-time while dd homeschools high school independently

[Ravin]

I'd move back to TX and work out a deal w/ my mom involving trading child care for HS'ing. She's talked about possibly homeschooling my brother, but is uncertain whether she'll be able to really do it. After several decades of dealing with the PS system in her home town, she's rather had it with them. I would also look at any way I could go BACK to school.

 

I do have my bachelor's, and I still need to go back to school. I think I could pull it off w/o DH if I had to, but I'd really rather not know.

[elise1mds]

That's why I took my MT course and continue to work part-time even though we don't *have* to have the cash right now. If I ever became suddenly single and had to fend for myself, I would be able to go full-time very easily and continue to homeschool. The only thing that might suffer would be swimming and violin lessons, and as long as the kids are getting to play with their friends on a regular basis, I would be okay with that.

[Dandelion]

If I became single due to DH's death, we have life insurance that would carry us for awhile while I figure out what to do.

 

If I became single due to divorce, I would ramp up my business (which I'm already starting up part-time right now). If it became clear that the business wouldn't bring in enough to support the kids and me (despite child support), then I would probably start networking with my old business contacts and potentially try to get rehired by my former employer. I have an MBA and 20 years of solid work experience, so I'm hoping it wouldn't be too difficult to re-enter the workforce (although I've heard it gets more difficult with each year you're out).

 

I agree with previous posters who have suggested that it's a good idea to prepare before you're in that position if you can (by taking classes towards a degree or certificate, starting up a home-based business that could be expanded if the need arises, etc.). Trying to figure all this out once you're suddenly and unexpectedly single would make an already difficult time even more difficult... And even if you never have to implement that plan, you've still gained!

[sassenach]

I would move in with famly and get my RN. I probably would not hs.

[Nestof3]

My husband has a $500,000 life-insurance policy that would make it not necessary for me to work while I homeschool my children. Also, our house is paid for. I have one for half of that so that he could stop working while the kids are growing up. He would do something like Sonlight.

 

I can honestly say that there would be no other reason I would end up single.

Edited May 21, 2010 by nestof3

[Michelle My Bell]

This is why it may be a good idea for those with this particular concern to get a certificate/degree of some kind now, while everything is ok. Prepare before/just in case you ever need it. That's what I'm doing.

 

 

What are some certificate/degree options? What are you doing?

[Michelle My Bell]

That's why I took my MT course and continue to work part-time even though we don't *have* to have the cash right now. If I ever became suddenly single and had to fend for myself, I would be able to go full-time very easily and continue to homeschool. The only thing that might suffer would be swimming and violin lessons, and as long as the kids are getting to play with their friends on a regular basis, I would be okay with that.

 

 

What is a MT course?

[Michelle My Bell]

Can those who spoke of pharmacy technician jobs give me some pointers on how to go about learning the trade and getting certified?

 

Thank you so much! I appreciate everyones help. It has really inspired me to do something now, just in case.

[HRAAB]

Financially, we would be able to get by. The financial aspect wouldn't be my biggest worry. Not having my dh - well, I just can't imagine. That's what would be so hard. But I'm a survivor, and I know I would get along somehow. I think I would look for employment to fill in the empty spaces more than for the money although the money would come in handy, too. Maybe part time work in property/casualty insurance since that's what I did - or maybe a bookstore or the library. I don't think I'd go back to school at this point unless it was just to occupy my time or some particular class I wanted to take.

[Debora R]

When we set up our plan a decade ago, we had more than enough life insurance to cover the family's needs should the worse happen to DH. However, with the current economy, not so much. There's enough to pay off all of our debt (including the mortgage on our family home), do some basic home repair and still leave a frugal year's worth of living expenses. Though estate tax laws are about to change on a federal level, so we will have to revisit our estimates come the new year. We should get enough from Social Security for the kids to allow me to continue to home school without a problem. We have a pre-pay college plan for the older two, so that is partly covered, though I'd have to figure something out for the babies. After the nest is empty, I have a degree in education, and a Customer Service background...but if I didn't, I should have time across the years to come up to speed on something. I like Customer Service type work, so I'd probably go for something along those lines - just don't ask me to be a salesperson!

[crimsonkelley]

I was in this situation. I also had a degree, but it was in social work- not exactly great pay - and alot of hours. So, I enrolled and was accepted into nursing school. Before I entered school, I took two sciences classes at night - after the kids went to bed - during the day we homeschooled as usual. (My parents watched my children the two evenings I was at class.)

 

I chose to pursue a nursing degree b/c I could work a flexible schedule, earn a decent income and finish in 1 1/2 yrs.

 

My husband and I reconciled and we moved out of state, so I didn't end up getting my nursing degree.

 

I think alot depends on the age of the children and where you live. Opening an in-home daycare would be a good option for some. My mother did this for years to support our family. This is a great way to be home with your children. (I would have considered this, but I lived out in the country with no one around!)

Edited May 22, 2010 by crimsonkelley

[Murphy101]

Can those who spoke of pharmacy technician jobs give me some pointers on how to go about learning the trade and getting certified?

 

Thank you so much! I appreciate everyones help. It has really inspired me to do something now, just in case.

 

I second this - sound too good!

 

As for me...

I'd continue homeschooling no matter what.

Not sure how. But figure where there's a will there's a way.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I wonder the same thing - what would I do if something happened to DH - and I went to college. I do not have a lot of work experience, though, and have never worked a full time job. I have decided the specialty I was interested in is not what I want to do with my life so my MA degree is just about useless.

 

My current job (adjunct instructor at a comm. college) does not pay enough to support one person, let alone a family. My advanced degree is in the 'wrong' discipline for full time CC work so I would need to go back to school and get another degree in order to be moved up to a full time teaching position.

 

I guess what I am trying to say is I have no idea what I would do.

[joannqn]

I'd be in a world of hurt right now either way. We have no savings and no income to pay for life insurance.

 

I'd probably try to take college classes online and live off of financial aid and welfare as I have no higher education to speak of and haven't been in the work force for 11 years, and then only at entry level jobs. I think I'd be most interested in a teaching degree/certification and then using that to provide services to homeschoolers...maybe tutoring, testing, assessments, consulting, and teaching classes. .

Edited May 22, 2010 by joannqn

[Blessedfamily]

What are some certificate/degree options? What are you doing?

 

I'm taking college courses online. There are quite a few health related certificate programs- nursing, pharmacy tech, respiratory therapy, sonography,....

 

Then there are business related (Accounting is very good, and there is a big need for that.) Information Technology is also readily available.

 

Check your community college's website. You can get a whole degree or certificate online.

[Blessedfamily]

Can those who spoke of pharmacy technician jobs give me some pointers on how to go about learning the trade and getting certified?

 

Thank you so much! I appreciate everyones help. It has really inspired me to do something now, just in case.

 

Read this description.

 

Here's the same program at another community college.

 

 

Both of these links will give you an idea of the cost and course length

Edited May 22, 2010 by Blessedfamily

[susankenny]

Honestly, I have a master's degree & I still have no idea what I'd do!! In today's economy, a degree certainly doesn't equate to a job. I think most people found in an unexpected circumstance such as that would have a lot of re-evaluating and thinking to do. My resume is up to date though (not that I'm looking for a job by any means), but I've always been good about keeping it current.

 

Susan

[MorganClassicalPrep]

Well... I didn't find myself suddenly single, but I did find myself suddenly with a child.. At that point I was 19, working part time minimum wage jobs, living with my parents, and had no significant life plan.

 

I went back to school, and am majoring in history. I'll be getting my PhD and (hopefully!) teaching college. I picked that because not only do I love history, but as a college professor I have some flexibility with hours, and can work from home alot also (grading papers, planning, etc.)

 

I also have a long term plan to make my DD responsible for her own education as much as is feasible. We live off of scholarships, grants and loans. Not ideal, and only works out to less than 12K a year, but it gets us by and I can still school her and get my own education!

[Maddysmom26]

Well... I didn't find myself suddenly single, but I did find myself suddenly with a child.. At that point I was 19, working part time minimum wage jobs, living with my parents, and had no significant life plan.

 

I went back to school, and am majoring in history. I'll be getting my PhD and (hopefully!) teaching college. I picked that because not only do I love history, but as a college professor I have some flexibility with hours, and can work from home alot also (grading papers, planning, etc.)

 

I also have a long term plan to make my DD responsible for her own education as much as is feasible. We live off of scholarships, grants and loans. Not ideal, and only works out to less than 12K a year, but it gets us by and I can still school her and get my own education!

 

I found my self in the same situation about 10 yrs ago.. My daughter will be 10 in august. Im still single and although I do have family to help, I struggle every day with how to make our life better. I spent alot of years home with her just working from home so I could be with her and barely getting by... I didnt want to lose that special time. So last year finally decided to go back to college. I finished my TA certificate, now finishing my associates. Plus I still have credits from way back when I first went to college. I just have one more semester online classes in the fall and then I need to decide where to go next for my bachelors. I have a lot of ARt and Pysch classes under my belt so im hoping to do art therapy eventually.

But I know what you mean, I actually decided to take the loans for school to help live , while Im schooling. But everything Ive done in my life since she was born, I did in a way so that I could be with her most. No babysitters (other then my mother) and no daycare. I have a little resale business I started 3 years ago.. and while that was doing okay. getting us by. it was a hit and miss and really winter wasnt so good. I just opened it back in April and now it seems to be really picking up. So that does help.

Its frustrating sometimes though when you see "Big happy familys" and thats not what you have. Dont get me wrong, I love my daughter and wouldnt change that for the world. But I would love to have someone to lean on and have adult conversation with! ;) When your the single parent you have to be the constant brick holding the house together! It can be hard ! I havent even been on a date in 3 years.. :tongue_smilie:

[cathmom]

Those of you who think you'd be living off of child support/alimony probably should reconsider. I don't think anyone gets alimony anymore except for possibly a year or two to have time to retrain. And child support can be hit or miss too. Unless you have a lot of children, it probably wouldn't be enough to live on. It's meant to supplement the custodial parent's income, not for him/her to live off of.

 

We have life insurance on both of us and disability insurance for dh, but I didn't consider that in my reply, because the question seemed to be, "If you had to suddenly support your family, what would you do?"