fshinkevich Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I read (and hear) so many things about the Dreaded Mother in Law. Am I the only one with an AWESOME MIL? From day one she has been respectful of me. Her and DH are very close and he used to run to her w/ every single problem (whole other issue) and 99% of them time she defended me! She explained to him how she felt when she got married, had her first child, a womens point of view etc. She always includes me in everything, invites me everywhere, remembers my bday, sends me private handwritten letters keeping me up to date and asking how Im doing, and tells me she loves me! I hope to be as wonderful as she is with my sons wives, and hope I'm not the only one out there who has this great addition to their family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rlowetx Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I second the Yes. You are the only one..:lol::lol: I'm very jealous though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I second the Yes. You are the only one..:lol::lol: I'm very jealous though... :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pongo Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Yes. :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fshinkevich Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Mine is great. :) Dh's parents even live with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pongo Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: How did I know I'd see you here:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyMcGillicuddy Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You're not the only one. My mother-in-law is wonderful and I love her dearly. My father-in-law is pretty great too. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 No, I've got an awesome mil, too. She's really, really fantastic, and at one point, I enjoyed her more than my own mom. Now I've learned to enjoy both of them--but I'd still rather spend a week at Mom-Joy's than at my own mom's house, because she... is easy-going is in good health (is intentional about it) takes an interest in many things is active is fun gives a lot to others is calm listens well doesn't need things to be done the same way she does them or have the same things around or eat the same things all the time to be comfortable is not critical is helpful doesn't make excuses but finds solutions is one of the most Godly women I know loves and accepts me, even when I talk her ear off or complain (which I don't find myself doing much around her--positive people help others remain positive) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 No, my MIL was absolutely wonderful and we became closer every year. In the last couple of years of my own mother's life, when she was having increasing dementia, my MIL became a dear, dear friend to me. My dh was career military and never lived close to my ILs, but we talked on the phone almost every day the last few years. I would call her a lot when I was cooking dinner and we would visit. She truly became like a second mother to me after my own died. She passed away in the summer of 2006 and I miss her. I always say I need to remember how she acted at a MIL when I am a MIL someday. My oldest dd is named after both her grandmother's, her first name after my MIL. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 add me to the jealous list! Thanks for sharing, I am taking notes on how to be a good MIL in the future because I have two boys and I hope and pray my DIL's will have positive things to say about me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Well, my dh has an awesome MIL. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skirch Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I had a great MIL and loved her as I do my own mother. She passed away 3 years ago and I miss her terribly. she lived across the street from my own mother and it's so hard when I visit my parents and see new people in her house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My MIL is a wonderful woman; a professional in her field, a devoted mother, and a very involved and loving grandmother. I admire and respect her in those capacities. The MIL role just isn't her gig, though. And you know what? The running joke between me and my kids' dad is that I'm going to be the EXACT same kind of MIL. Because like mine, I don't relish the idea of sharing my baby with some other lady who does things differently than I do ;) LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You just might be. No, I'm kidding. Mine isn't bad just, well, not there. So really, she isn't good or bad, only absent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hot Lava Mama Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 She raised 10 kids on her own when her husband had a heart attack when she was 3 months pregant with child #10. She has always treated me like one of her own daughters, and I actually get along with her better than my own mother! I love her to death, and am glad she is in my life. My heart goes out to those of you who don't get along with your MIL. Hope you at least got lucky with your original mom! Hot Lava Mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runamuk Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 While my MIL and I weren't close, she made me feel welcome and loved. She was always there for us and supported whatever decisions we made (and I know there were several that probably had her shaking her head) without negative comments, digs or snarky remarks. She respected our choices for our children, but was ready with advice if asked. We're a military family and rarely did we get home to visit with family, but she would drop everything when we were in town. She planned big family get togethers and made sure we got a chance to see everyone (not an easy thing to do with 6 kids, plus spouses and older children). She emailed us every week and kept us updated on everyone, and we talked on the phone once a month. She'd bend over backwards for her grandchildren. She passed away in 2004 and I'm sorry our two youngest will never get to know her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I most definitely am NOT in the same boat with you--I'm more in the "jealous" boat. BUT, I am greatly enjoying hearing about your and other wonderful MILs. I am trying to learn all I can and to break the cycle in my generation so that my childrens' spouses can later testify that I have been a great MIL. Thank you for this thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I am closer to my MIL than I am with my own parents. From the beginning she embraced me (as well as my daughter from a previous relationship) and she considers me as much her child as her own three. She is completely humble, generous, forgiving and otherwise easy to get along with - as well as fun! We like the same books and games and enjoy weekends at the beach together. She is a fantastic grandmother - has bedrooms/toothbrushes/games for the grandkids and loves to take them to parks and do crafty projects. She lives about 15 minutes away and I can call her and say "I need respite!" and she will jump to help. She had a wonderful marriage (her dh passed away) and I thank her often for raising my husband well. She did a great job. I think her only fault is that she is maybe TOO generous and I have to be a little protective that I (and the kids) don't take advantage of her generosity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I have a great MIL too. We're close, and she has always been very supportive of whatever decisions dh and I make. He's an only child, so she pretty much embraced me as a daughter! :D We are even closer now that she needs me so much for their physical care. She credits me for saving FIL's life after a long illness. We took them in for a while, then moved them to our area and I fed him and cared for him, that's all. But of course a big deal to them. Their health is declining rapidly and we are planning a "meeting" for this weekend to discuss the possibility of them moving in with us. :001_huh: I'm not sure I am ready for this new "season". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Dh's mom is not my favorite person on the planet. In fact, if I never had to see her again, I'd be happy. However, dh's step-mom is awesome, and I can honestly say I like having her for a MIL. Dh's dad was married to his mom for 13 years and to step-mom for 24 years, so dh is very close with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 No, you're not the only one. DH has an awesome MIL as well. My mom is very respectful towards him and has treated him like a son since Day 1. She is never critical of him and never, ever interferes in our marriage or our child-rearing. He can talk to her about things more easily than he can talk to his own mom because my mom tries to understand. I wish I had a MIL like that! ;) I'm glad you have an awesome MIL. I think it's wonderful, and I wish I was able to have that type of loving relationship with mine. We've reached a guarded plateau of mutual respect, but that's about as good as it's going to get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I'm totally jealous of those who get along famously with their MILs. I've met mine in person about 3-4 times. The last time we spent about 36 hours with her, and she made 3 separate comments on my weight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I love my MIL, too. We don't *always* see eye-to-eye, but because she is Mum to me and I am the daughter she never had (she raised four boys), we just hash it out and move on. It's very nice, and I have to say that I always answer the phone when she calls and that's more than I can say for my own mom! Even though my MIL has a lot of mental and social issues, she is definitely loved. I aspire to be a MIL like she is to me; however, she's got another DIL whom she absolutely despises and who hates her, so I think it can go either way, even in one person! Then again, like I said, my MIL has social issues - favoritism is one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilymax Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My MIL is not horrible, but she's not wonderful, either. She is good about staying out of our business, and always remembers the kids' birthdays, holidays, etc. However, she (and the rest of the in-laws) have always treated me mainly with indifference. She doesn't remember my birthday, buy me anything for Christmas, call me directly or anything. She's never really cared to learn anything about me (asked about my job, hobbies or anything), and often acts as though she doesn't quite get why DH chose me. MIL has also made snide comments about my weight through the years (she is a beanpole)...but overall, she's not a mean, conniving type. (Unlike my own mother...our relationship has always been rocky. BUT I'll give my folks props for always treating my husband like a son. They love him to death and make sure he knows it.) MIL and FIL divorced when DH was little, and I've had two step-MIL's from him so far. The first one, Ann, was awesome; she was pretty much the only in-law I had that ever treated me like a human being and not a unwanted addition to the family. She was kind and generous and friendly, and DH and I were very angry with FIL for years after he cheated on her and left her. She lives far away and we've basically lost contact. His current wife--his fourth; the one who was his mistress for years while he was married to Ann--is hard to even think of as a MIL because she's barely older than DH and I. (FIL is a cradle-robber...) She is nice enough, I suppose, but she's the freeloading type. No career or anything, and her grown kids are kinda scary to be around. Yeah, not had a lot of luck in the in-law department. I do miss Ann, though. She was a very sweet person and I hope she's found someone better than my FIL...which wouldn't be hard to do. Edited to add that I, too, have enjoyed reading this thread and I hope that I can be a good MIL to my daughters-in-law. I definitely know what NOT to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in TX Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I have a lovely, lovely mother-in-law. She is the sweetest, most open-hearted woman, and has treated me like a beloved daughter since the day we met. I couldn't be more blessed in her. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 One of the best parts of getting divorced (soon to be final) is knowing I will never have to deal with my mean, crazy MIL again. I thankfully have the best mother on the face of the planet. I take notes constantly on how to one day be a great and loved MIL to my only child's wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I have both ends of the spectrum. My dh's mom is extremely challenging. One might say unstable. The only positive is that she is extremely loving through her psycho-ness Dh's parents are divorced and fil remarried about 4 years ago and his wife is amazing. Everything I could have ever hoped for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I'm in the jealous boat. I know there are wonderful MIL's out there. I intend to be one some day ;) I haven't been so blessed in the mother or mil department...or the father or the stepfather department. I do have very sweet FIL and Step MIL. Even still, there was some adjustment of MY expectations and THEIR lifestyle, way of doing things, etc. Those of you that have had it good all the way around...you are truly blessed. I take my blessings as learning how NOT to be, determining how I will be, and being the best I can be every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 In the jealous boat here. I'm am reading this thread for all the positive qualities of a good MIL because I'm going to be one very soon. Both of my oldest are getting married next year and I DO NOT want those young ladies to have the kind of MIL I have. I want to have a good relationship with them. So far, so good. They are both wonderful. I just can't get it through my head that I am going to be the MIL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 How did I know I'd see you here:D I can't imagine :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladydusk Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I have the world's best in-laws. I wish we lived closer to them than my family sometimes. MIL homeschooled my husband's 12-years younger brother for middle school and is excited & completely onboard with homeschooling. She is so supportive and wonderful, a wonderful Christian example to me, and generally encouraging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I read (and hear) so many things about the Dreaded Mother in Law. Am I the only one with an AWESOME MIL? ! Nope. I love my MIL and I mean that in the sincerest and sappiest way possible. When we told her we would be homeschooling she had some big misgivings but her words were us to, "You guys are the parents and it's not my place to question your decisions." Although there were a couple of years when she's make a few comments to the kids about school it never amounted to much and in the end she never tried to sabotage or undermine us. She's supported me when I needed it, rescued me when I needed it. She never forgets a birthday and is a pleasure to talk to whether I need to work through something serious or just want to chat. I should say it's not just my MIL but my entire in-law family that's fantastic. All the siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents on both sides. You don't know how many times I've read horror stories hear and realized just how blessed I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I love my MIL. We actually refer to them (to distinguish from my parents) as the outlaws. Because they are WANTED! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 This board had 2 threads in a similar vein a while back. One was "great MILs" and one was "worst thing your MIL ever did to you." Certain people thought it was really important to point out that the worst MIL thread was bad & wrong & gossip & give it low star ratings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly IN Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Let's say that my mom treats my dh much better than his own mom treats him. Pretty sad!! My parents treat my dh as a son rather than a son in law. He loves my parents. Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My mother in law is wonderful! She tells my husband all the time how she is so glad that he has a wife that takes such good of him and the boys. In the past she would take our kids places and have them spend the night to give me a break. (Her idea, btw) Her health has deteriorated in the past few years and she APOLOGIZES that she cannot do more for us!!!She is very much a gem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My in-laws, while not great, treat me just like they treat their own kids. So even if I don't like something, I can see it's just their way and I am not singled out for special treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I read (and hear) so many things about the Dreaded Mother in Law. Am I the only one with an AWESOME MIL? From day one she has been respectful of me. Her and DH are very close and he used to run to her w/ every single problem (whole other issue) and 99% of them time she defended me! She explained to him how she felt when she got married, had her first child, a womens point of view etc. She always includes me in everything, invites me everywhere, remembers my bday, sends me private handwritten letters keeping me up to date and asking how Im doing, and tells me she loves me! I hope to be as wonderful as she is with my sons wives, and hope I'm not the only one out there who has this great addition to their family! Nope your not alone. I have great inlaws! Completely supportive and would do anything in the world for her family. I want to be like her when our kids get married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You are not the only person blessed with a wonderful m-i-l. I writhe whenever I hear/read the "nasty m-i-l 'jokes' ". My m-i-l is my other mother, and, according to her, I am her second daughter. She is a saint, loved by everybody who meets her. When she dies, there is no ocean pit on the earth's surface which would hold the tears that shall be wept on account of losing her. Now, at age 92, she lives lost in dementia. We miss her acutely, but cherish the time remaining that we can, at least, see her. I read (and hear) so many things about the Dreaded Mother in Law. Am I the only one with an AWESOME MIL? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheWillFly Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You're not alone. My in-laws are great. We lived with them for 3 years and originally planned to buy houses on a joint property before our youngest was born. That didn't work out for other reasons not because of our relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I love my mil. She is everything a mil should be. She has a good relationship with her son (dh), yet she realizes that his marriage is first. She loves her grandkids, but offers no advice on how to raise them unless asked first. She is kind and loving to me. She has a good sense of humor. The only thing is... shh, I didn't say this, but... she's not a very good cook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I am so blessed; my MIL is wonderful. I used to joke that I married him for his parents. My fil died a couple of years ago, and I miss him very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My MIL and FIL are both gems, and I love them dearly. They have always welcomed and accepted me. When minor difficulties arise they are worked through with grace and love. They lavish affection on their grandchildren. I truly thank God for my husband's parents. As an example, we had an asbestos problem in our basement and are presently in construction at our house. The asbestos has been removed, but we are doing some other work and laying a new floor while we are at it. My in-laws would not hear of us staying in the house during this--and especially not letting our children be in the house with asbestos present. They very graciously opened their doors to us, have fed us all week, and have provided a lot of babysitting in this time too. We're so very, very grateful for their generosity, and also grateful that they are the kind of people with whom it is a pleasure to stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st_claire Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You are not alone, dh has wonderful in-laws ;) My in-laws are aweful though :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire up north Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My MIL is fabulous. I actually consider her one of my best friends.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 ... my mother is a great mother-in-law to her two daughter's-in-law and one son-in-law. :001_smile: Actually, I have been married three times (and divorced three times) and all three of my mother-in-laws were great. They were very kind, respectful people ... too bad none of it rubbed off on their sons, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommy2be Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My MIL and I used to get along very well together. We would go do things together and enjoy each other's company. She actually opened her doors to me and I lived in her home before my DH and I got married. She's usually a very positive person and is kind, etc... Just within the past few years she has kind of.... gone off the deep end! LOL! She is kind of going through a mid-life crisis type thing so we all feel more like she is the child... We'll see if she pulls out of it... So, she's not bad, and she has a lot of good qualities, but just lately... :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My MIL is wonderful. She is a roll model to me and if I could have a similar life when I am at her stage, I would have heaven in my hat. I hope that I get as lucky as she in daughter-and-sons-in law. And I hope I can be such a great MIL and Grandma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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