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Lilymax

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Everything posted by Lilymax

  1. Most definitely! And like others, we're pretty frugal to begin with. But I've had to cut a lot of corners on the grocery bill. I don't know when was the last time I bought beef. I miss having a good pot roast or steak every now and then, but I just can't afford it anymore. We go meatless a couple nights a week, too, at least my husband, eldest and I do...the two younger kids aren't fond of beans. Thankfully, there are several things both DH and I can do for freelance/side jobs, and we take on as many as we can. There's also a local antiques market that opens the parking lot to vendors for $10 every Saturday. So we go a couple weekends a month and sell yard sale items. We end up making an extra $100 or so a month (plus it helps us declutter). But yeah, I miss the days that I didn't have to thoughtfully weigh every single purchase. I hope we'll enjoy a lifestyle like that again someday, but the reality is that this might be the new reality.
  2. That the one that was the hardest to get to nurse in the first place will be the hardest one to break of it as he nears age 3! I believe in letting kids nurse as long as they seem to need it, but never had one keep going this long. Sometimes I think it's the sweetest thing in the world, but the bigger, stronger and more impatient he gets, the more I feel like one of those cows you see out in the countryside...the one with a nearly-grown calf trying to latch on and she keeps kicking it out of the way. :lol: NOT that I am mean to my child about it, at all. But you'd think it was the end of the world when I tell him "Not now" when we're in situations that nursing isn't convenient for me.
  3. Again, I truly thank all of you for your feedback. Blessedly, the weekend went great--the air was cleared about a lot of issues, including the adoption. They had a lot of questions about our future daughter's background, the adoption process in general, etc. and thankfully, we were able to answer them all. By this morning, before my parents left to drive back to their state, they were truly coming around to the idea, as was my one initially reluctant sister. So I am rejoicing that much of the hesitation was linked to the unknown, and that they seem much more open to this now. :)
  4. Thanks so much for all the feedback. My parents will be here in an hour or so, so I'll soon know more about what's behind their issues. And then I guess we'll know how to proceed. I am absolutely prepared to limit contact if necessary; in some ways, due to my mother's negativity toward our youngest, it might be a good idea to do that anyway. :001_huh: Families. Why do they have to be so difficult???
  5. Yes, I've heard that, too. Thankfully, this girl is at low risk for RAD or other extreme behavioral issues. I'm not naive enough to think we won't have any issues with her behavior, but because of her history and what we've witnessed with our interactions with her, her harming our youngest isn't something I'm particularly worried about. But of course, I'll be vigilant about watching for any indication of that! We're also planning to have family counseling begin as soon as she comes. I hope that will help smooth the transition period.
  6. Thankfully, no. They thought it was a great idea and have always supported it. Basically by being very cold and unreceptive---I'm not expecting them to shout "Hooray!" or anything (which is how MIL reacted; which was not what I expected--she is thrilled!)...I guess I did expect them to at least care about hearing our perspective, finding out about the process, learning more about the child and who she is. And because we are all Christians, perhaps understanding some of the spiritual reasons we'd make a choice like this. I also think it's money-related--they are so far above us financially that they see our ordinary middle-class life as something that we should be working hard to improve--not adding another mouth to feed. My mother in particular was cold about our third child being born--as she said, "Two kids is more than enough for anyone!" They just don't seem to get why we'd do this. I've heard other adoptive moms say that if there's a gap like we have in our kids' ages, it's often easier to fill the gap with the adopted child, rather than displace the baby from his spot in the family. I can see the wisdom in both approaches. Anyway, I guess the reason I came here to ask is that I know there are a lot of other adoptive families here and just wonder how you overcame family resistance...and if their issues improved over time, or what. Thanks!
  7. I think a lot of it is that they never saw this coming and they are all very resistant to change. No one in our extended family has ever adopted, and I don't think any of them know enough about it to have an opinion besides thinking that it's something other families do....not theirs. They tend to be very negative about choices that don't match their opinions and aren't understanding why we want to do this. We've been able to get to know the girl, through Skype, letters, etc. (She is in a small orphanage that our church has partnered with; we're doing an independent adoption and thankfully have a couple of friends who've already been through the process, to help us through it.) We're adopting out of age order, which I know comes with some potential issues, but it's truly how we're feeling led. We already have a connection to this child--our older kids are very excited about the whole thing.
  8. We're in the middle of our home study process to adopt a girl from Uganda, and while all of our friends and my in-laws think it's a wonderful idea, my parents and sisters are not being very receptive to it. Just wondering if any of you have BTDT advice for working through these issues? Everyone keeps saying that they'll come around, and I hope that's the case. But boy, are they making it tough on us now. Thanks!
  9. We have real Pergo in this house, and it has NOT stood up to our crazy family as well as the knockoff brand we got at Lumber Liquidators for our previous home. I won't buy it again. This is the next type of flooring we will buy, cork-backed laminate: http://www.petfriendlyflooring.com. I would love something that quietens the sound of my dog's claws when she walks around at night! I've seen a sample and it appears very high quality.
  10. If it were me, I'd probably lean toward doing the burrito/taco bar--but that is my go-to when I'm planning big parties! :001_smile:
  11. Too many... Survivor Chopped Toddlers and Tiaras Four Weddings Say Yes to the Dress Real Housewives of Atlanta My Fair Wedding Pawn Stars I don't watch all of them every week, mind you. :lol:
  12. Um...I never even start thinking about next year's curriculum until the local used curricula sale on May 31. Then I spend the summer buying whatever else I need, bit by bit. I have a few friends who are already ready for next year, but more of them are like me. :)
  13. Maybe it's because I'm still breastfeeding my 2.5 year-old, but I don't see anything provocative about it. I actually showed it to my 10-year-old just now to show that yes, indeed, there are kids as big as his brother or bigger that still breastfeed. (Because they sometimes ask, "Shouldn't he be over that by now?") ;) At this point, it's mostly at bedtime and first thing in the morning, so we do keep it private. But ideally, I wish we didn't have to; that it would be OK in this society to nurse and not be judged.
  14. I've had a bottle of bourbon-based vanilla "brewing" since I made my first-ever real vanilla bean wedding cake last New Year's Eve and didn't want to waste the pods. I've thrown some chopped whole ones into the bottle, too, and every time I use a bean, I put the scraped pod in the bottle. Every few days I give it a vigorous shake. Five months later, the bourbon smell is still stronger than the vanilla scent, but I still add a teaspoon of it to most of my recipes because it adds a great depth of flavor! I hope that by the holidays, it'll be just where I want it!
  15. That sounds good to me, though I've never tried it that way despite having an Austrian grandfather. But yeah--your hubby should've told you what ingredients were in it. I make sauerkraut (well-drained and rinsed) sauteed with sliced hot dogs or kielbasa and a huge sliced onion, then I add some apple juice, a little brown sugar and lots of black pepper and just let it simmer uncovered until it's almost dry. I could seriously eat the entire pot by myself!
  16. I've been playing around with PicMonkey for a few days and like it so far. I don't think they have before/after or collage features yet, but it says they're coming. (I think these will be paid features, like Picnik used to be.) I'd download Picasa but my husband doesn't want anything else on the computer. He uses Photoshop for his college classes and tells me I should learn it, too. I know he's right, but why should a busy mom bother with a huge learning curve when sites like PicMonkey are so easy??? LOL
  17. That was awesome! Thanks for sharing! I was one of those "annoying" kids who grew up ostracized for having a mind of my own. I love that my kids won't know that pain!
  18. I voted "other" because I use both. It depends on what it's for. Miracle Whip isn't just sweeter, it's tangier than mayo, too. My grandmother's deviled eggs? Must be Miracle Whip. That's true for coleslaw, broccoli salad and egg salad. Oh, and tomato sandwiches in the summertime. Potato salad must be made with mayo, though. DH despises MW (except in the above recipes). I use either one on a sandwich, depending on what I'm in the mood for.
  19. Wow! Will totally try this with DS2. Thanks! (Edited to add that I gave him the OK test and he failed. LOL)
  20. This thread is hilarious! The only one that comes to mind is a local OB/GYN named Dr. Rippy. Ouch.
  21. My grandmother was very nurturing. My own mom wasn't--still isn't. I think, to a degree, I was born nurturing. I was the little girl with her arms full of baby dolls and when my little sister was born, I practically took over her care. I tagged along when my older sister babysat. I always loved being around little ones. But I still needed a good example of motherhood. It came when I nannied for a dear family with an awesomely nurturing mom. I hated that the military moved us away and I only got to work with them for a year. She made mothering four children look easy, and taught me by example without even knowing it. I often think back to her when I find myself upset, and ask what she would do in my situation. Working for her was a huge gift to me.
  22. I think it happens a lot. The renters around the corner from us have what we call "Free Range Children." The kids are just as sweet as can be, but the parents never seem to have any idea where the kids are. We let our middle son invite their boy to sleep over one night, and the mom seemed irritated when I called to make sure it was OK...she's like, "I told him to tell you it was fine." Uh...so I'm supposed to take the word of an 8 y.o.??? Of course, if she'd bothered to extend the conversation, she might've thought to mention that the boy still wets the bed. And that would've saved me from finding out the hard way...about four hours after the sleepover ended. :glare: Boy, was that mattress fun to clean. Those kids could be in another state before their parents would ever notice them missing. So sad.
  23. I would like to, someday, have reborn dolls made that look like each of my sons did around 6 months old. But that is because I have a small doll collection and think that would be really cool...and also cool when I have grandchildren, to let them play with the doll that looks like their dad did as a baby. But to carry it around town like that? Tooooo weird!!! NO way.
  24. I wouldn't say it's impossible, but I could've written your post. My mother's entire family is stricken with anxiety, depression, bipolar and other mental disorders and she flat-out refuses treatment---despite the fact that all three of her kids are on antidepressants and tell her what a world of good they do. Some people just don't want help. It's sad, but I don't think they believe there can be anything better.
  25. Did you have any family members that were totally against the idea of your adopting? (I mean extended family; not your spouse or other children--in our case, my DH and DC are all 100% on-board with it.) I finally shared with my sister that we were looking into adopting internationally and told her about the child we hope to get from the orphanage our church has been partnering with. Her reaction was so cruel, it was downright shocking. I can't begin to delve into everything she said in her email. It left me reeling. She also expressed that she's certain the rest of the family would agree with her. We are still getting things ready for our home study process to begin. I know that for part of the home study, they want to know how extended family feels about it. It sickens my heart to think that people I love would be cruel to an innocent orphan, and that their negativity could prevent us from giving this precious child a home. I thought there might be some initial misgivings, but nothing anywhere near what she dumped on me today. If you've experienced this, what did you do? I don't even know how to respond.
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