Why aren't food stamps regulated like WIC?

[PineFarmMom]

I'm curious about your thinking about the wedding cake. Are you suggesting that if a person can't afford to feed themselves they shouldn't get married? I am genuinely curious, and can't understand why it would be a bad thing to buy a wedding cake with food stamps. I mean, a Walmart wedding cake would be pretty economical, it seems to me, compared with other cakes, wouldn't it?

 

But the govt. doesn't owe anyone a wedding cake. It's an extra purchase, not a need.

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I was just thinking, that they put cash assistance (TANF) on the EBT Card too, not just food stamps.

 

She may have been paying for the wedding cake with her monetary benefits.

 

That probably opens up a whole 'nother can of complaints to some . . . but I'm just thinking that I don't think she would be allowed to purchase a pre-made cake with food stamps. She can purchase anything she wants with her cash benefits though.

Edited May 28, 2009 by TejasMamacita
spelling, of course

[Ravin]

At least in my state, just about any food is purchasable with food stamps. Some things I've seen people try that it didn't go included protein shake mix, and holiday candy that came attached to a toy or in a nice, permanent tin. And while I have no trouble buying those aforementioned energy drinks on food stamps at Wal-Mart, I can't at Safeway.

 

What is and is not allowed is programmed into the computer. On a receipt, allowed items have an "F" next to them, at least at my store.

[amydavis]

I just wanted to share something I read in a Dear Abby column. A woman had written in, complaining about being in line behind a woman using food stamps to buy a birthday cake. The woman was so agitated, and mentioned that she had to make her own child's cake, and therefore resented this woman's purchase. Awhile later, Dear Abby ran the letter again, with a reply that was received. A woman had written in, assuming that the original letter was describing her. Anyway, I don't remember the specifics, but bad things had happened to the family, altering their financial situation. Part of this was due to their child's diagnosis of cancer. Long story short, the woman was buying the cake for her dying daughter, and what would turn out to be her last birthday, because she couldn't imagine making her go without. Anyway, after reading that, I instantly began changing my view. I now try to assume the best, and I realize that I don't know anyone's full story. Just thought I'd share.

[charmama4]

I was just thinking, that they put cash assistance (TANF) on the EBT Card too, not just food stamps.

 

She may have been paying for the wedding cake with her monetary benefits.

 

That probably opens up a whole 'nother can of complaints to some . . . but I'm just thinking that I don't think she would be allowed to purchase a pre-made cake with food stamps. She can purchase anything she wants with her cash benefits though.

 

I read your post earlier and felt compelled to respond and join in on the conversation. I thought your post was thoughtful, intelligent, tactful, heartfelt and pretty much right on.

 

I speak from experience of that one client that all of a sudden found herself in front of your desk when my ex decided to not support his 3 children that were coloring on the floor in your cubical. I was a stay at home mom that found herself on her own with 3 boys, going back to work full time as well as going back to college pulling 12 credits a semester. I was in the *system* for 22 months. Recieving TANF, foodstamps and childcare while I attended college and worked was just what I needed. I never in a million years thought it could happen to me but there I was. There was no way in Hades that I could have done it without the states help and to that I am grateful.

 

I can't judge nor do I have a place to. I don't walk in their shoes, I have only worn mine and have no regrets.

[clarkacademy]

That is all I can say to this thread is WOW!!!! I mean unless you know someones back story who are you to judge on what someone has a right to eat? Maybe they just wanted a cake and there oven don't work. Maybe they can't read. I will say threads like this though are such an eye opener for me. I can so remember back to having this lavish life cashing $1,500 paychecks when I worked with special ed, my wonderful mechanic man and our two adorable toddlers wearing Dior and judging people. Well you should never judge. Someday your beautiful child may have a horrible tradgedy and your guy that had been there since you were 14 may walk out. Your son may require constant care and your not getting child support. You lose your job that you worked years to have and your insurance is gone. It takes months to get into court over child support and until then you have two little kids to feed. Noone can babysit the sick kid they are all too scared. With your head hung low you go feel like a beggar and apply for help. Help you had never asked for to anyone before. When you were kicked out at 16 you learned real quick how to get a job and put yourself through school and never expect noone to do it for you. I did get help and I bought them cookies and snacks and whatever else that I am sure some deem not needed. I truly beleive that if you haven't been there and you don't know you should keep to your own business. I truly don't think God himself gave anyone the right to judge someone. I also believe that all the people with all the better than you attitudes should try for a second to walk in someone elses shoes for a minute. You may find that it is not that pretty.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I've always wondered about the regulations for WIC. Our commissary has stickers on the shelves indicating which items are WIC acceptable. I noticed that some peanut butter is but not the natural peanut butter without added sugar or hydrogenated oil. I think I remember seeing something similar with orange juice. Does anyone understand why some brands are ok but others aren't? Is this a program that food producers have to opt into?

[JustGin]

Ok, I have to speak up, I just have to, this subject is just too close to my heart.

 

 

 

You see, I was once a little girl who felt deeply the shame of being on assistance.

At school those of us who got "free lunches" had to show a special card or worse sometimes had to stand in a separate line. The stares and snickers were humiliating enough over the free lunch, but worse for me were the times when I had sack lunch, and it included a rare treat. I'm not sure how, but at a young age I knew, or felt the condemnation felt for a girl on the free lunch program daring to eat a Twinkie. No one knew that our diet mostly consisted of USDA surplus; that food stamps were only one part of assistance and these were barely enough to feed 6 mouths for the month; that the stamps didn't cover things like toilet paper, toothpaste, dish soap, shampoo and so on, so the cash dollars rarely stretched far enough to include treats either.

Every time another kid in class had a birthday, the mom brought cupcakes and juice. I was lucky that I have a summer birthday. I don't remember what my sisters did, but I suppose, my mom endured the stares and whispers to make sure they weren't left out. I know once in a while we got a real treat in the summer, cold cut sandwiches and fruit salad with sherbet. More things not on the approved list for poor folks, but to us it was pretty special.

 

I personally hated the check-out line, when my mom pulled out that book of brightly colored "play money" that signaled to the rest of the line we were poor. I felt the scrutiny of our grocery choices and cringed inside even as I anticipated that one bowl of sweet cereal I'd get that month, or that Twinkie in my lunch on an upcoming field trip.

Holidays were the worst, knowing that we weren't really supposed to have anything special for Thanksgiving dinner. You know to this day when I have the opportunity to give a bag of groceries to a needy family, or pack a food box, I always make sure there is a treat of some kind in it and I think, "Now here is one goody, they don't have to feel guilty for enjoying."

 

So maybe poor folks don't deserve to spend tax payer money on a package of cupcakes for a birthday party or a 6 pack of Coke, after all, we say, they aren't working for that money. It is not enought that they surrender their dignity to accept help to feed their families, they should also give up the freedom to budget their income as they see fit, because after all those are "tax" dollars and we tax payers deserve to buy junk food for our kids.

 

Maybe as some one mentioned, instead of giving these families money or stamps, we should have them queue up for staples once a month so that we can make sure they are only getting an approved diet because we all know, people who are on assistance are probably there because they are too lazy or stupid to be trusted to make good decisions.

 

It's easy to stand in righteous judgment when we see a food stamp mom pushing her cart through the line with soda and cake in it and maybe she is blowing her food stamps on junk, but maybe this is the only contribution she can make to a family celebration. Maybe if she uses her limited cash for that, she won't be able to pay the gas bill. But, wait, she's poor, she's on the dole; she has no business trying not to be the poor relation at the party who always comes empty handed.

 

When I was almost 13, for a time we were homeless. We lived in a campground for about month and spent our mornings picking strawberries to earn enough money for lunch and gas to do it again the next day. We also spent the afternoon walking the highway picking up soda cans and dumpster diving behind the grocery store. It was hard work to stay alive and we were proud of ourselves for rising to the challenge. Then came the day when we reached a point where my mom realized we needed to ask for help. We went to the local welfare office and she explained our plight. To this day I will never forget the humiliation that rolled over me as the woman in charge, looked us over with a curled lip and in a sneering voice, told my mother that she was just lazy and needed to get a job. I was furious! My mom was broken and desperate, but she was certainly not lazy! There I sat; my jean shorts grimy with dirt and stains, my face and arms sunburned from days spent picking strawberries and soda cans. I felt stripped of every shred of pride I had in my hard work contributing to our family’s survival. In her eyes I was a dirty nothing. I remember sitting on my hands and wanting so badly to slap her. It was at that moment that I felt the full weight of our poverty in a more profound way then I ever had before. She pre-judged us and I knew we did not deserve her contempt, but it burned deeply none the less.

Please understand, I'm not offended by others comments, neither is it my intent to offend. I just want to offer another point of view. I understand the concern and I agree that tax payers have a right know their money is not being wasted. I guess I just want people to remember that being poor and accepting assistance does not in and of itself make one less deserving of being treated with respect and dignity. Perhaps we can give that welfare mom with the junk in her cart the benefit of the doubt?

 

Peace

Edited May 28, 2009 by JustGin

[Pink Fairy]

JustGin,

 

Your story brought tears to my eyes. My brother and his wife and their 9 children are as poor as church mice. I know that people look at my db and his family in judgment--for their large family size, for their use of government assistance, and for a whole lot of other reasons. I look at them and I see those precious children, and I know that no matter what choices their parents make, they are entitled to some diginity. They shouldn't be ashamed, or treated as "less thans" because they are poor.

 

Anyway, you said everything I would ever want to say on this topic, and you said it beautifully. Thanks for sharing. :grouphug:

[joannqn]

I've always wondered about the regulations for WIC. Our commissary has stickers on the shelves indicating which items are WIC acceptable. I noticed that some peanut butter is but not the natural peanut butter without added sugar or hydrogenated oil. I think I remember seeing something similar with orange juice. Does anyone understand why some brands are ok but others aren't? Is this a program that food producers have to opt into?

 

It is supposedly a money issue...if you ask the WIC office.

 

The list is VERY specific....they give you a brochure that they tell you to take with you to the store in case the store mistakenly tells you that you can't get something that is on the list. It provides milk, cheese, peanut butter, dried beans, cereal, and juice in very specific brands and quantities. They encourage breastfeeding but I think infants on formula get that on their coupons instead of milk. It's a strange program.

 

They can alter the ratio of how much milk/cheese provided on the coupons. You can get less milk and more cheese or more milk and less cheese. But they can't alter any of the other items. For example, if your child is allergic to dairy, you can get the peanut butter,cereal, beans, and juice but they won't give you more of that just because you can't use the milk and cheese.

[Audrey]

But how would one know whether the bag was a cheap knock-off that cost less than what one could find at, say, Payless, or a gift from someone who wanted to make her 'poor' friend/relative feel special?

 

 

Or, how would you know she didn't get it at a yard sale or thrift store?

[Rosie_0801]

I would think, pop, wedding cakes, and other garbage with the nutritional value of newspaper...although newspaper would be high in fibre...

 

Y'know. I read some study somewhere that found that the cornflakes box had a higher nutritional content than the cornflakes themselves...

Icky thought, huh?

 

!!

Rosie

[Crissy]

Or, how would you know she didn't get it at a yard sale or thrift store?

 

:blushing:

Yes. That's the idea I was after, but I fear many of my responses here have come out sounding rather insensitive.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Never been on food stamps but I have helped those who were. And, I must say that, until reading through this thread, I was thinking that regulating food stamps was a good idea. But, the truth is, that 97% of Americans who *aren't* on welfare don't even eat wisely. You're right in that if you need food stamps then spend it on food that's necessary but, on the other hand, we don't always know the reasons behind others' actions.

 

When I first went to apply for WIC I felt very poor and weird. I wasn't dirt poor but not rich either. We just needed some help. When I first applied, when I moved here when my dd was 4 weeks old, we didn't qualify and I was the only one with a job - a part time one at that! When I had my son, 6 years later, my dh had just been laid off from a job but we qualified this time around. Go figure! Anyway, I've learned to be thankful for WIC. I've since come to the conclusion that if I'm paying tax dollars then at least I can benefit from them as well, right? It's been very helpful and I'm very thankful for it!

[Tap]

I haven't read all the responses so please excuse this if is a repeat.

 

I asked a friend who worked in the system, and I asked here this same question. Here answer was clear and concise..... I know this will come across stereotypical, and I know that this not always true.

 

Sometimes (not always), the people who are on assistance, do not know how to cook from scratch, because they have often been raised in the system. Premade food is much cheaper than fresh, and when someone is scraping by, it is easier to choose a 50 cent box of mac and cheese that to spend more than double to make it.

 

Some people have been raised on soda as a staple, frozen pizzas as a wholesome dinner because it has veggies, (tomato sauce, peppers etc.) and this is the only thing they know. If you made them buy only staples...they would go hungry.

 

She also said that they don't assume they have the luxuries of electricity to refrigerate food, a heat source to cook it, or a safe place to store a large size box that is more economical than the smaller size due to rodents or living in hotels.

 

There is also the idea that they allow treats like Twinkies or Soda because every one deserves a treat.

 

 

There will always be people who take advantage of the system. But it isn't unique to this system and not everyone needs to be regulated, to cut out a few abusers.

 

 

Also please remember if you are passing judgement on what is in the cart those who use state cards....Foster parents and guardians of children whose parents are unable to care for them (death, imprisonment, and other situations) also get assistance to care for children on state cards. SO, the family in front of you may not be destitute.

 

 

As a guardian of my great niece, we get a small amount of money to use for expenses, on what looks like a state food stamp card. It is a cash debit card, and yes, I can buy a basketball with it if I wanted to! Stores at the mall don't take it, so I use it on all our purchases at the grocery store. SO if you see someone buying a wedding cake....it may be a different circumstance than what first comes to mind!

[KidsHappen]

I would have a problem if they pulled the card out of a Coach bag.

 

I wouldn't know a designer bag if you hit me with it. Really. Nor would I have any idea how you were paying for your purchases unless you were writing a check and had an out-of-state ID, ot temp check or one with no printed info or some other malfunction that held up the line. Even then it would probably take me awhile to notice. :tongue_smilie:

[sarahli]

I believe certain brands contract with WIC for the state. That's how it is with the formula, the WIC office will either have a contract with Enfamil or Similac. The formula companies donate a lot to WIC because it creates "brand loyalty". WIC doesn't cover the cost of the entire month of formula.

If a mom is breastfeeding, she will get food for herself as nourishment. If the infant is formula fed, they only get formula checks until a certain age.

It is supposedly a money issue...if you ask the WIC office.

 

The list is VERY specific....they give you a brochure that they tell you to take with you to the store in case the store mistakenly tells you that you can't get something that is on the list. It provides milk, cheese, peanut butter, dried beans, cereal, and juice in very specific brands and quantities. They encourage breastfeeding but I think infants on formula get that on their coupons instead of milk. It's a strange program.

 

They can alter the ratio of how much milk/cheese provided on the coupons. You can get less milk and more cheese or more milk and less cheese. But they can't alter any of the other items. For example, if your child is allergic to dairy, you can get the peanut butter,cereal, beans, and juice but they won't give you more of that just because you can't use the milk and cheese.

[ConnieB]

I am not on food stamps, nor have I ever been, but I've heard that a lot of people using them get a lot of nasty looks whenever they check out using the food stamps.

 

Don't know about other states, but here you can't really tell if someone is using food stamps anymore. For a couple of years now they have issued something that resembles a credit card. My understanding is that it is "refilled" each month with your allotment. One that I have seen, did have a small state logo on it, but unless you have been on food stamps, or know someone who has, the casual observer in line would simply see someone pay with a swipe through the card reader. Sometimes you'll see someone pay for some of their food with cash as well, if the card doesn't have enough, but I can't imagine that people standing in line would even notice that....I've paid at Walmart with a gift card and cash....would someone therefore think I'm on food stamps?

 

Now WIC on the other hand, still issues the papers....and the clerks have to ruffle through them to find the specific paper for the item being purchased. So those transactions do take a bit of extra time and it's pretty clear to anyone standing in line that has a clue what WIC even is. Of course, many people think that WIC is food stamps, but it's not. It's MUCH easier to qualify for WIC.....the purpose is for pregnant woman and children under 5 to ensure that they get extra nutritious food. There is NO WAY that you could feed your family solely with WIC...it's simply not enough food quantity. I have never been (knock wood and PTL) on food stamps....but because my DH was military when our first 3 kids were born, we qualified each time for WIC. In the early years of our marriage and his enlistment he could have earned more working as a clerk at the grocery store than he did putting his life on the line for his country. WIC is very specific about what you can buy.....I remember buying oatmeal for my kids and not being allowed to buy the packages that had flavors in them....the plain I could but not the flavors.

 

I have mixed feelings about food stamps being regulated.....on the one hand, I do have an objection to my tax money supplying the means for someone to have a BBQ for friends....but on the other hand, I don't know that this family didn't choose to eat beans and rice for themselves all month in order to have that BBQ....perhaps it was to celebrate their child's graduation from high school....or a birthday. Heavens knows that I have cut our budget down to beans and rice with the knowledge that Thanksgiving or Christmas was coming and I wanted those to be special. Who am I to say that just because they are economically disadvantaged that they should never be allowed to throw a party, drink soda or eat chips? Even when my food budget was squeaky thin we would occasionally buy soda or another treat for "special" times. I'm very sure there are HUGE abuses, but I'm also just as sure that standing in line at the grocery I don't have the whole story about what's happening in that person's life. Perhaps they drive an expensive car because they are stuck in a lease and can't sell it....or they are hopeful that their need for food stamps will be short term and they'll get a job soon and be able to keep their vehicle. Perhaps they just got on food stamps and the car is listed for sale, but not yet sold. Perhaps it belongs to their parents who have lent it to them because their vehicle was repossessed. We had only one car for the first decade of our marriage....it was usually ok because DH was deployed anyway or we lived on base so he could walk to work and I could have the car to go to commisary (also on base, but try walking with 3 kids and a week of groceries). When we were based in the same town as my parents, they often lent us their vehicle when we both wanted to use a car. Or, my mom drove the kids and I places.

 

Now...I don't exactly know what a coach purse is, but I'll guess that's because it's so beyond my budget that it doesn't matter......and so this I would say feels like an abuse....but again....who is to say that this person didn't save up for a year to get something that meant so much to them? Wouldn't be something I'd spend money on.....but to each his own. There are many things that my family doesn't have that others consider "basic needs".....cable TV....a TV that's newer than 14 years old, lol.....cell phones.....steak for dinner more than once a year.....a bottle of wine......pre-made foods.......a car newer than 11 or 13 years old. On the other hand.....we go to Disneyworld which is definitely NOT cheap at least once a year, more if we have a windfall! And for many THAT would be considered ridiculously extravagent. But, the lack of cable and cell phones and such enables us to save enough to go to Disneyworld, which is more important to my family than cable TV. I know several of our friends who think I'm harming my children because we don't have cable TV, don't buy the latest in clothes (99% of our clothes are from Walmart), don't buy DVDs (we borrow from the library) and therefore generally are depriving our children of something all so that I can stay home and educate them instead of going back to the corporate world and making big bucks. It's a lifestyle choice that we have made that they can't fathom.

 

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of trying to regulate another person's lifestyle choices even when my tax money is involved. However, I WOULD love to see these agencies have more staff to investigate the abuses. Same thing with Worker's Comp and Social Security Disability. Yes, it would cost money, but perhaps if the government started arresting those who are abusing the system, others would think twice before doing so and eventually we'd see a return on those costs. Right now, it's so easy to cheat and be very confident that you'll never be caught, that it's easy to see how someone with a very low self-esteem, and morals that are apparently lower than my own, could milk the system that allows itself to be milked.

 

Judge not lest ye be judged.

[Elizabeth Conley]

I'm fascinated to read that this topic is still a hot button. Over 20 years ago, when I was a young veteran going to school on the GI bill, a lot of my fellow students had a "free ride" through college.

 

This was back in the days when any single woman or girl with a child could expect to have all her expenses paid by the government.

 

The total dollar value of the free child care, WIC, food stamps, 4+ years of free tuition for pie-in-the-sky degrees, cash to cover housing and sundries, and free medical care was staggering.

 

When I contrasted it with the lifestyle of the working poor (like myself) who delayed childbirth and lived on the cheapest staples of rice, beans, flour and oil we could find while struggling to get through school, I was offended. (Most of the welfare queens had nice cars to drive. I drove my aging pinto until the engine caught on fire and wrecked the wiring. Then I rode my bike 14 miles each school day.)

 

Even today, when I look in the grocery carts of the working poor, I see flour, oil, fruit, dried beans, cheap but wholesome cuts of meat, cheese by the pound and milk. They make me feel a bit ashamed, because my cart is now filled with many luxury foods and prepared conveniences. I know these people are stretching their hard earned dollars, and living as well as they can on very little. I respect that. What's more, I understand it. They are practicing common sense.

 

Personally, I'm glad WIC is regulated. It assures that some decent food makes it into households that may not otherwise know what to buy. When I was a teenager, I had the miserable task of hauling the possessions of welfare queens out onto the streets after they hadn't paid their rent in 4-6 months. I'd haul urine soaked mattresses with no linen and tiny bundles of filthy cloths out to the street. Then I'd scour kitchens encrusted in layers of unbelievable filth, and haul out pitifully small quantities of impractical, expensive, unwholesome junk food. My heart bled for the welfare queens' children, but I knew that I wasn't the one who denied them shelter, clean cloths and decent food. Their mothers spent the money, but not on their kids. Besides, my family was stuck scouring the filthy house, painting and repairing it, looking for another tenant, and knowing full well the next tenant would very likely pull the same tricks this one had.

 

It's because of voters like me that many of the "free rides" have dried up. We spent spent our youths having our noses rubbed in the way the welfare queens operated. Then we told our representatives, "No more!"

 

"Judge not lest ye be judged" is too often deployed as a thought-terminating cliché. In fear of being judgmental, (now universally considered a sin), we fail to examine the serious issue to be pondered here. How do we assure that children, elderly and handicapped people living in poverty receive good food, safe shelter, clean cloths and linen, and decent health care? Isn't that what a human community does? I'd like to see the "food stamp" money get the same imperfect regulation WIC does, because it's better than nothing. Sensible families will not be significantly harmed by the regulation. They already buy good food, so it's no big deal for them. As for the families that cannot seem to tell the difference between a Twinkie and a banana, at least there's a chance some decent food will make it into the house. It will raise the probability that the children, handicapped and elderly will be able to find something nourishing in the cupboard. Isn't that what we sent out to do when we established these food programs?

 

I'm absolutely certain that I have no moral qualms about preventing tax money from being spent on Twinkies or traded for beer and crack. That money doesn't grow on trees. People earn it, and entrust it to the government to be invested in the common good. That trust should not be betrayed with bad stewardship.

 

PS - My sister-in-law made my wedding cake. It was a carrot cake with cream cheese icing, black walnuts and raisins. One year later, when we pulled the top layer out of our freezer and thawed it out to celebrate our first anniversary, it was still amazingly good. We were all scraping and saving to get by, so that wedding cake was a very meaningful gift. Today is my 26th wedding anniversary. I think I'll call her up and thank her.

[Renee in NC]

Most people on food stamps *are* the working poor. We get food stamps and my dh does have a job. We don't get anywhere near $1200 a month, but we do get more than I would have spent in the past. Once we move, I will get a job as well - at some point we will not need them anymore. I am ashamed to use them and fear someone coming up to me and blasting me like people blast the poor here. We were planning a garden before we knew we were going to move, and we have already picked out our garden spot here in FL.

 

It's horrifying at times to know how much my family is despised - I hope my dc never have to feel the wrath and condemnation of those who think we should pull ourselves up by our boot straps. The problem is that I think we lost our bootstraps too when we lost our business. Or maybe the state took them when they started requiring us to pay $1000 a month to them for back taxes (more stupidity on my part), especially when that is most of our income.

 

Please remember when discussing this that these are real people with real feelings and really bad situations.

[TraceyS/FL]

Going on food stamps would allow fruits and veggies to enter my house. Right now, the budget doesn't stretch to that. And like i stated earlier - food stamps (which we more than qualify based on the numbers posted) would about TRIPLE my food budget.

 

You know the one that my STBXH is trying to show that i spend TOO MUCH money on..... because less than $250 for a family of 5 is too much....

 

And i agree with the not knowing if they have a place to store food or cook - my cousin was on FS and lived in a hotel room. My SIL was on them and homeless.... not conducive to cooking from scratch even if they were so inclined.

[Pamela H in Texas]

So Tracey, have you looked it up for your state? Have you seen if you qualify? Have you applied? It was REALLY easy to do the benefit calculator and benefit screening online. They even had it to do an application online. Not sure if every state has that, of course, but maybe you could check for yoru state?

[TraceyS/FL]

So Tracey, have you looked it up for your state? Have you seen if you qualify? Have you applied? It was REALLY easy to do the benefit calculator and benefit screening online. They even had it to do an application online. Not sure if every state has that, of course, but maybe you could check for yoru state?

 

I live in FL - the numbers that were posted are correct. I had seen them before when going thru the stuff for health insurance for the kids.

 

It actually would be impossible for me to apply - i have no access to the financial information i'd need to provide for income verification in the household.

 

Isn't divorce fun? :tongue_smilie:

[angela in ohio]

I just wanted to share something I read in a Dear Abby column. A woman had written in, complaining about being in line behind a woman using food stamps to buy a birthday cake. The woman was so agitated, and mentioned that she had to make her own child's cake, and therefore resented this woman's purchase. Awhile later, Dear Abby ran the letter again, with a reply that was received. A woman had written in, assuming that the original letter was describing her. Anyway, I don't remember the specifics, but bad things had happened to the family, altering their financial situation. Part of this was due to their child's diagnosis of cancer. Long story short, the woman was buying the cake for her dying daughter, and what would turn out to be her last birthday, because she couldn't imagine making her go without. Anyway, after reading that, I instantly began changing my view. I now try to assume the best, and I realize that I don't know anyone's full story. Just thought I'd share.

 

Maybe part of the problem is that most feel that a purchased cake is superior to a homemade one, when in fact, most children would problably prefer to have mom spend the time making one. I don't know how we got to this point where "bought at a store" became preferable to homemade in general.

[Cathy in IL]

What irritates me with food stamps is the way they decide who qualifies. I have adopted special needs children who need me home with them - or rather running them to doctors and therapists. I cannot care for them and work outside of the home. I get an adoption subsidy for them because of their level of needs. The subsidy counts when I apply for food stamps. Since I have no "earned income" I don't qualify for food stamps even though the subsidy amount is small enough to qualify me. If I were married and my husband worked a job that only earned a little, we would have earned income to claim and we would qualify. Since I am a single mom caring for disabled children and unable to work outside the home, we don't qualify.

[SquirrellyMama]

Maybe part of the problem is that most feel that a purchased cake is superior to a homemade one, when in fact, most children would problably prefer to have mom spend the time making one. I don't know how we got to this point where "bought at a store" became preferable to homemade in general.

 

:iagree: This is a whole other topic.

[DawnM]

In this particular case the friend told me she was so excited because on a trip to the beach (staying in a hotel and eating out vacation type trip) she found a Coach outlet store and got the $250 bag for around $100.

 

Dawn

 

But how would one know whether the bag was a cheap knock-off that cost less than what one could find at, say, Payless, or a gift from someone who wanted to make her 'poor' friend/relative feel special?

[Carrie12345]

Most people on food stamps *are* the working poor. We get food stamps and my dh does have a job. We don't get anywhere near $1200 a month, but we do get more than I would have spent in the past. Once we move, I will get a job as well - at some point we will not need them anymore. I am ashamed to use them and fear someone coming up to me and blasting me like people blast the poor here. We were planning a garden before we knew we were going to move, and we have already picked out our garden spot here in FL.

 

It's horrifying at times to know how much my family is despised - I hope my dc never have to feel the wrath and condemnation of those who think we should pull ourselves up by our boot straps. The problem is that I think we lost our bootstraps too when we lost our business. Or maybe the state took them when they started requiring us to pay $1000 a month to them for back taxes (more stupidity on my part), especially when that is most of our income.

 

Please remember when discussing this that these are real people with real feelings and really bad situations.

 

Who here has even hinted at despising people on assistance as a general rule? It's those who misuse it that infuriate me.

 

Some "homeschoolers" don't educate their children.

Some foster parents neglect their foster children.

Some ps teachers plain old suck.

Some parents ignore child support orders.

I can despise the bad apples while having no ill feelings toward the rest of the bunch, and no good can come of ignoring the bad apples to spare the feelings of the rest.

 

For the record, I spent a few years of my adolescence being very grateful for food banks. My nose isn't up in the air.

[Elizabeth Conley]

I have now read every post on this topic, because I wanted to get a feel for the entire spectrum.

 

What I have read convinces me that no one here dislikes the poor or wants to be unkind. The most conservative posts here are simply calling for regulation to prevent abuse of the system.

 

These posts sound particularly balanced to me:

 

1.

“I have a couple of friends on food stamps. My understanding was that they weren't allowed to buy pre-made foods. She can't buy the bucket of chicken at the grocery store for example or the pre-made dishes in the deli. I would think that would include bakery.....but maybe not.

 

One friend brags about getting $800 or so in food stamps per month, meanwhile she takes trips to the beach and stays in nice places, eats out, and just recently told me she bought a new Coach purse on her shopping spree.

 

ARGH!

 

The other person DOES need it and is not like that.â€

2.

“I do think they need to be higher regulated. I have been on assistance back when I was a single Mom. I KNOW first hand of the abuse that takes place (not me, but I saw it plenty). Driving escalades and dripping with gold, but getting foodstamps. Having BBQ's for the whole neighborhood. It's sickening.â€

3.

 

“When I was about 10 or 11 years old, my parents were on food stamps for a very brief time period. The "food stamps" were actual pieces of paper; they looked like fake movie tickets or something similar - longer and skinnier than money, and printed on brightly colored cardstock.

 

Each color of cardstock was for a specific type of food - red was meat, green was fresh veggies, etc etc. There was a dollar amount limitation for each type of food.

 

I guess that when they went digital to the little cards they use now, they didn't see a way to do this. IMHO, and I've not been *off* of foodstamps very long now (over a year for sure, I guess though), they can and SHOULD regulate it at least to non-taxable groceries. I understand that not every state does grocery tax the same way, but here in Texas anything that is considered "snack food" is taxed - chips that cost less than $1, anything that is pre-prepared or is a single serving, all sodas and such. (FWIW, cake mixes are not taxed, but a premade cake would be. :P ) At least here, all it would take is coding the Food Stamp card to count for the non-taxable items and not for the taxable ones; I'm not sure what it would take in other states, but if it's doable here I'm sure it's doable elsewhere.

 

And, we are a family who *has* until pretty recently depended on Food Stamps to get us through the month. Yes, we occasionally purchased things like sodas and ice cream with it, but not often because I needed the bulk of the allowance to purchase real, actual food. :P I have in-laws who are on food stamps and do not use them wisely, and it bugs the creepers outta me - to no end.

 

I think maybe it'd be a good idea for those who get Food Stamps to take classes - like WIC makes you take classes. (And, having been on WIC and not being ignorant, those classes always bug the creepers outta me, because they seem to assume that I'm stupid; but I see the point of them, and don't complain about them because we needed the help that WIC was providing. And, truthfully, we probably ate healthier because of WIC.)â€

The call for regulation isn't malice toward the poor, it's a realistic, informed and compassionate assessment of the problems inherent with the current family assistance programs.

Yes, due to poor regulation in the past, we now have second and third generation food relief recipients who know nothing of food preparation and storage. This is heartbreaking. Is it fair or right to continue enabling this trend? Food relief was not intended to create intergenerational dependency or incapacity. It was supposed to help people, not cripple them.

Most working poor families who benefit from food relief make reasonable food purchases. They genuinely need it, and they spend it well. How does it hurt these families to have regulations in place to prevent abuse of food relief cards? They already make sensible food purchases.

Regulation would be a huge boon to the children, elderly and handicapped members of families that exploit the card intended to buy them good food. Remember, the allotment wasn't just intended to fund the habits of the family alcoholic, crack addict or chain smoker. It was also intended to feed the children, the elderly and the handicapped members of the family. In these sad cases, it would be nice if the temptation to abuse the system were removed, so that these people could enjoy a better chance at getting a few good meals.

We now have computerized inventory control and bar codes. Discerning what is on the WIC list and what is not is now extremely simple. If we did the same thing for other forms of food relief, it would be equally easy.

If we're serious about helping people, we'll do what we have to do to curtail food relief abuses.

[angela in ohio]

Perhaps we can give that welfare mom with the junk in her cart the benefit of the doubt?

 

 

Honestly, I would be more willing to do so if it wasn't children she was harming.

 

Dh started his teaching career in a rough neighborhood. It wasn't the inner city (he student taught there,) but it was close. He saw children starving, really, truly starving. The food stamps (actually a debit card now) went at the beginning of the month for expensive treats, and then the children starved for two or three weeks. He had a student lose 12 pounds over Christmas break one year, and he was thin already. The kids would steal food at any chance. He kept boxes and boxes of crackers in his class for when children were feeling faint and couldn't do their school work.

 

When he first started, we were really poor. We had scraped everything together to get him through college, and then he had to quit his full-time job to student teach, which left us worse than broke. The students would ask him about movies or shows they had seen, and he would not know them. They asked one day if he had cable or rented movies. He said we couldn't afford it. They asked why he didn't use his first of the month money? He said that he didn't get any; he got a paycheck for working there instead and it wasn't enough for cable. They asked about using his food stamps, and he said that you couldn't use those for cable. They said that no, you sell them to get money for cable. :001_huh: Meanwhile, we are dropping off bags of groceries to their homes on our nonexistant budget and buying new (at Goodwill sometimes) shoes and coats for his students. And they rent a dozen movies a weekend and come to school exhausted from staying up all night watching them. And they don't do their homework because they were playing video games. They have no chance. The school is giving them opportunities, and they can't take them.

 

I have no patience for people who treat their children this way. I also have no respect for a system that keeps handing them money without showing them a better way. We've become so concerned with everyone's rights and privacy that we can't give them the help they really need. It is NOT the kindest thing to do. If the government can't do it right, give us our money back and let us spend the money ourselves to help, because we help by getting involved in their lives with the money and actually making a difference. We spend the money taking good food to the families and talking to them, buying the basic things the kids need, and taking the kids out (zoo, museum, etc.) as a family to show them a healthy family dynamic.

 

I had free lunches when my dad was on strike. He had a factory job and worked hard, but the union would send them on strike to hold out for more money every three years, and we would have no income for months. I remember getting the free lunch and standing in line for cheese and powdered milk. It's part of the reason I was willing to sacrifice everything for dh to go to college rather than get a job and start making money immediately like all his friends. It shouldn't be pleasant to need help like that, because the discomfort makes us strive for something else.

 

Also, if we eliminated all the cheats and those who are using the system, it would then be acceptable for the disabled and those truly in an emergency situation to get the help they needed without any stigma attached.

Edited May 28, 2009 by angela in ohio
and I teach my children grammar... sheesh

[hana]

Tracey, if you decide to apply, I'd guess the office would work with you about the lack of documentation. Trust me, they're used to all sorts of situations.

[angela in ohio]

I

The call for regulation isn't malice toward the poor, it's a realistic, informed and compassionate assessment of the problems inherent with the current family assistance programs.

Yes, due to poor regulation in the past, we now have second and third generation food relief recipients who know nothing of food preparation and storage. This is heartbreaking. Is it fair or right to continue enabling this trend? Food relief was not intended to create intergenerational dependency or incapacity. It was supposed to help people, not cripple them.

Most working poor families who benefit from food relief make reasonable food purchases. They genuinely need it, and they spend it well. How does it hurt these families to have regulations in place to prevent abuse of food relief cards? They already make sensible food purchases.

Regulation would be a huge boon to the children, elderly and handicapped members of families that exploit the card intended to buy them good food. Remember, the allotment wasn't just intended to fund the habits of the family alcoholic, crack addict or chain smoker. It was also intended to feed the children, the elderly and the handicapped members of the family. In these sad cases, it would be nice if the temptation to abuse the system were removed, so that these people could enjoy a better chance at getting a few good meals.

We now have computerized inventory control and bar codes. Discerning what is on the WIC list and what is not is now extremely simple. If we did the same thing for other forms of food relief, it would be equally easy.

If we're serious about helping people, we'll do what we have to do to curtail food relief abuses.

 

I have to say that I agree with both of your posts entirely Elizabeth.

[angela in ohio]

It's horrifying at times to know how much my family is despised - I hope my dc never have to feel the wrath and condemnation of those who think we should pull ourselves up by our boot straps.

 

Wow, I haven't read that at all in this thread. I think we need to be able to have a reasonable conversation about the abuse of the system. It does not automatically condemn everyone using assistance.

[Quiver0f10]

This is the amount you get in FL, this is depends on how many people are in your house

 

 

8 People, with net income of no more than $2,967, Food Stamps are $1,202

 

For every additional person, add $150 to the total Food Stamps.

 

Our family would get $1800 a month in food stamps! :svengo:I would love to be able to spend that much on food LOL!

[Tami]

I wonder if it would be helpful to offer community-based cooking classes on how to eat healthy on a budget, how to menu plan, etc?

 

We cannot afford to buy processed foods, prepared foods, either. If I want it, I have to cook it, since it is at least 50% cheaper and 100% healthier to make it from scratch. When I see food stamp recipients loaded up with expensive, prepackaged foods, it is really easy to get frustrated with their lack of "responsibility."

 

I'm guessing that many of these that are on food stamps are in a single parent situation, dealing with exhaustion, possibly have not been dealt the best cards in Life. I'm guessing they have come from unloving home environments and do not care much about their bodies, their futures, or themselves. I read about people from the foster care system who are bounced around from home to home, never having a real family or making connections - so, that is what I think of when I see the food stamp recipients in the store.

 

They would benefit from encouragment, education, and maybe a "Let's Dish" type of class where they could bring their own ingredients and go home with some freezer meals. Sometimes a little love and camaraderie makes all the difference. I think they put junk in their bodies because that's all they have the energy for, and because they don't believe they are worth anything more than that. I see it as a sign of hopelessness.

[amy g.]

I have a friend who runs a non-profit organization that provides doula and parenting help for families in need.

 

When we finish building our commercial kitchen, she is going to use it one night a week to hold cooking classes for her clients.

 

The classes will focus on making healthy inexpensive meals from locally produced ingredients.

 

She said that she could get a ton more grant money if she just had the time to write the grant proposals.

[KingM]

Have any of you read Nickled and Dimed? It's about a woman who takes a series of low wage jobs and tries to survive on them. It was eye-opening for me.

[TXMomof4]

I've wondered this myself.

 

I think if you can spare the food stamps for cakes and sodas, perhaps different criteria need to be used to get the aid in the first place. :(

 

Personally, my grocery bill is so high that I, who am not receiving government aid, cannot generally afford to spend my grocery money on junk food.

 

I think that's the point. I have to be cautious with my budget to be sure we have the essentials. If I don't have the money, we don't have the junk. It irks me when I watch people pay for the junk with their food stamps and I couldn't afford to buy that same junk even when I'm careful with my budget.

[Shenan]

We currently reside in one of the biggest Welfare states in this country. Because we are surrounded by FS recipients I am constantly disgusted at the attitudes I see and the lack of drive they have. For instance my dh commutes 2 hours to work. The same commute he indured while living in VA in a county where 75-90% of the residents commute 1 1/2-2 hours. The attitude is that a 15 mile or 30 mile drive to work is too far of a commute to make a paycheck. They would rather sit and collect FS than drive to make a real liveable wage. Frustrating to say the least....:glare: Especially when you see that they are residing in run down trailers and shacks with no running water or electricity. There are so many organizations and churches ready to help those who want to step out of the system. But you can't make someone do something that they don't want to do. Lack of education is HUGE too! There are community classes available but many don't take advantage of them...

 

I do have a neighbor who is a recovering Welfare dependent. She is a successful realtor now. She began by taking those classes and accepting the help she needed from organizations and friends and moved on from there. She told me its like she just finally woke up one day! She went from a run down trailer with her kids and no vehicle, to a brand new home she had built on 15 acres and now purchases a new vehicle every 3 years. Of course this took her 12 years to accomplish but still.....

 

We have a friend (well he's an acquaintance now) who upon his return to work after a long recovery from an injury, intentionally (yes you read that correctly) worked on getting fired from his job because the Welfare benefits paid just as well and he could be home with his wife and 2 kids.....His family has food, his mortgage and electric is somehow paid for and he has free medical care. What do you want to bet the cycle will continue with his kids?

 

The abuse of the system is rampant in certain parts of this country! There is a lack of education and a lack of personal fortitude amongst many of the recipients. Unfortunately we tend to hear all the bad apple stories more than the success stories. And there are those who judge groups of people (homeschoolers are a good example) based on the few bad apple stories.

 

I too read the Dear Abby article over 15 years ago that a previous poster mentioned. It did change my outlook on the system too. There are those who abuse the system. Those who truly NEED the system and those who NEED the system and fall through the requirement cracks!

 

For all we know...... the lady could have been purchasing a wedding cake for a dying daughter or son.......

Edited May 28, 2009 by Shenan

[angela in ohio]

Have any of you read Nickled and Dimed? It's about a woman who takes a series of low wage jobs and tries to survive on them. It was eye-opening for me.

 

I thought about reading this book, but the horrendous reviews on Amazon stopped me from ordering it. Does she talk like this in the whole book?

 

p. 175 "Ponytails are common, or, for the characteristic Wal-Martian beat up and hopeless look, straight shoulder length hair, parted in the middle and kept out of the face by two bobby pins."

 

(from a review) "I am pretty lefty in my politics and I couldn't stand this book. Here's an especially telling passage where she is describing the clothing sold in WalMart:

 

" ... sexless Russ and Bobbie Brooks lines, seemingly aimed at pudgy fourth-grade teachers with important barbeques to attend." "

 

It also said that she only worked for a month each time in three different states. I am wondering if anyone knows of an alternative book with more research and more compassion? I saw a recommendation for Scratch Beginnings as an alternative, but it sounds only slightly better-researched. Anything else out there? I would like my oldest dd and I to read a book on this together.

[Nestof3]

It is true that it's often more economical and healthier to cook from scratch. But if you fall in the category of the working poor, which is probably most people who recieve nutrition assistance, you may not always have the time and energy to cook from scratch.

 

 

 

 

 

I do try and cook from scratch a couple of times a week, but frankly neither DD nor I like eating the leftovers from it for a week straight (and I don't seem to have the knack of cooking for just 2).

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mom worked full-time while we were in school, and she still made dinner almost every night. Honestly, food is something that is required to give energy to the body. We take it to extremes by focusing so much on taste and the pleasure derived from it, but we should all be able to appreciate our food, even if it means eating the same thing four days in a row.

 

I strongly urge you to try cooking from scratch more than a couple of times a week as prepackaged foods are really just full of so much junk. Cooking for two is really not much different than cooking for 4. If you'd like any suggestions, I and many others would be happy to help you. We could give you simple and inexpensive meal suggestions.

 

I made an awesome, yet cheap, Mexican meal last night. We all loved it. I make simple inexpensive meals all the time. :)

[SquirrellyMama]

They would benefit from encouragment, education, and maybe a "Let's Dish" type of class where they could bring their own ingredients and go home with some freezer meals. Sometimes a little love and camaraderie makes all the difference. I think they put junk in their bodies because that's all they have the energy for, and because they don't believe they are worth anything more than that. I see it as a sign of hopelessness.

 

I think this would be a great idea as long as childcare is also provided. Maybe I'll look into doing something like this. I love food, cooking and sharing that with others.

[Ravin]

It varies slightly from state to state, but at least in TX and AZ, the two states where I've recieved WIC, you CAN get natural peanut butter. Laura Scudder's is the most common brand, but Jif I think is making a version now. You CANNOT get organic peanut butter.

 

An aside, my DD is allergic to eggs and peanut butter. I have a knee-jerk theory that this is because for a substantial part of my pregnancy that was about all I ate, because even though we should have qualified we were turned down for food stamps and WIC food was about half the groceries we had, so I ate a lot of pancakes made with extra egg (because eggs smelled yuck cooked while I was preg), slathered in peanut butter and applesauce (cheap no-sugar added applesauce). I think I ate that meal once or twice a day for like 2 months.:tongue_smilie:

 

I've always wondered about the regulations for WIC. Our commissary has stickers on the shelves indicating which items are WIC acceptable. I noticed that some peanut butter is but not the natural peanut butter without added sugar or hydrogenated oil. I think I remember seeing something similar with orange juice. Does anyone understand why some brands are ok but others aren't? Is this a program that food producers have to opt into?

[ConnieB]

It actually would be impossible for me to apply - i have no access to the financial information i'd need to provide for income verification in the household.

 

Isn't divorce fun? :tongue_smilie:

 

Forgive me as I don't know your specific situation....but government aid is based on the income of those living in the household....so if you're in the middle of a divorce, so long as the spouse isn't still living at home, then the fact is that your income would be zero, or whatever you might be earning personally. You wouldn't be including his income because you don't have access to his paycheck anymore (I would presume). After loss of job, divorce is apparently one of the largest segment of new claims filed. Unemployment is seldom enough to keep a family going (since it's based on your previous salary and doesn't take into account whether you are single or have 4 kids)....and divorce of course often leaves the wife with the kids and abruptly no source of income.

 

You may find that your benefits have a time limit on them, so that the state can re-check your income because they'll assume that you will get court ordered support at some point so you may have to verify income more often than others....and some states have it automated with the court system to know when you get a raise in support. They should also be kept updated when ex doesn't pay said support as your benefits should be adjusted for that as well. It's not fun, or easy to go through the hoops, but if you're in need then it's necessary and better than the alternative of hungry children.

 

My heart goes out to all those on this board who are receiving assistance.....how awful you must feel when we on this board are talking about you and often in an unflattering way. As I said in my long diatribe above, I try very hard not to judge because I don't know the situation of others......and as so many have posted it's true....none of us know what the other person is truly going through. How awful would you feel if you were looking down your nose at that mother buying her dying daughter her last birthday cake. Makes me wish that somehow I COULD know these things standing in line behind her.....because I know that I would have added all my food stuff to her cart and paid for the whole thing....know my family had food in the freezer we'd just live on that week, so that this family could have the pressure of survival off their plates for a short time so they could concentrate on the truly important things in life....their daughter. We've left our share of bags of food on porches....and my kids have twice had birthday parties at our church facility asking for food pantry donations in lieu of presents. But sometimes....like now reading this thread, it makes me wonder if I really do enough. Maybe it's time for a food pantry shopping spree. Yes, it's probably guilt, but if that's what it takes for those us with a little extra to give to those without...so be it.

 

So....I issue a challenge......for anyone that feels that their cart is full of treats that their kids don't really need....who picked up the filet mignon instead of the london broil.....who bought two bottles of wine for dinner instead of one.....or who has the time/energy/knowledge to make their own cake but chooses instead to buy a store bought one for convenience.......my challenge to you is to make a few changes to your cart choices this week and use the saved cash to pick up some non-perishables (be they staples or treats) and drop them off at a local pantry....if you don't know where one is, stop by any church along your route....I guarantee they'll know what to do with the items. Or before you leave for the market, check online for the nearest food bank or shelter so you drop it off there on the way home.

 

I just yelled off to the kids to get ready to go to the store....we don't have a shopping list, but I feel so motivated right now I'm not gonna let it fade.....next week we're eating out of the freezer and not buying anything but milk and fresh veggies. The rest of that budget is going to the food pantry.

 

So...how about you????

[Elizabeth Conley]

Dh started his teaching career in a rough neighborhood. It wasn't the inner city (he student taught there,) but it was close. He saw children starving, really, truly starving. The food stamps (actually a debit card now) went at the beginning of the month for expensive treats, and then the children starved for two or three weeks. He had a student lose 12 pounds over Christmas break one year, and he was thin already. The kids would steal food at any chance. He kept boxes and boxes of crackers in his class for when children were feeling faint and couldn't do their school work.

 

When he first started, we were really poor. We had scraped everything together to get him through college, and then he had to quit his full-time job to student teach, which left us worse than broke. The students would ask him about movies or shows they had seen, and he would not know them. They asked one day if he had cable or rented movies. He said we couldn't afford it. They asked why he didn't use his first of the month money? He said that he didn't get any; he got a paycheck for working there instead and it wasn't enough for cable. They asked about using his food stamps, and he said that you couldn't use those for cable. They said that no, you sell them to get money for cable. :001_huh: Meanwhile, we are dropping off bags of groceries to their homes on our nonexistant budget and buying new (at Goodwill sometimes) shoes and coats for his students. And they rent a dozen movies a weekend and come to school exhausted from staying up all night watching them. And they don't do their homework because they were playing video games. They have no chance. The school is giving them opportunities, and they can't take them.

 

I have no patience for people who treat their children this way.

 

Dear Angela,

 

A lot of your experiences parallel mine.

 

If I hadn't spent much of my life so close to the problem, I'd say, "Let them eat cake." Since I have lived so close to the problem, I say, "Let's build the most effective food assistance program we can devise in a fallen world."

 

All over the world, people go hungry. There's a food surplus, and yet people starve. They starve because their parents or caregivers are irresponsible, they starve because their governments are in turmoil, they starve because their governments would rather see them dead than fed with international assistance, and they starve because they are at the mercy of thieves.

 

Some of this goes on in our country, and it's not right to turn a blind eye to what is happening in our own communities.

[OnTheBrink]

 

I shop sales. I try and use coupons. I do try and cook from scratch a couple of times a week, but frankly neither DD nor I like eating the leftovers from it for a week straight (and I don't seem to have the knack of cooking for just 2). Also when it's hot, I prefer to cook in the microwave to spare our electric bill from running the exteremely inefficient oven when it's 100+ degrees.

 

 

Coupons can be a dual-edged sword, because there are rarely coupons for things that aren't processed or pre-made, or just junk. Although, if you're wanting ice cream or cookies, they can be handy! Coupons for toiletries and cleaning products are great, but chances are, the foods coupons are for can be made cheaper from scratch.

 

And, at my house, it's just me and dd, too. So, when I make a batch of something (chili, lasagna, roast beef) I freeze portions of it for later, for the nights when I'm not going to have time to cook a full meal. You could go all out with this concept and do the once a month cooking thing, but I personally hate being tied to that.

 

For hot nights, we do a lot of salads. I keep a few hard boiled eggs on hand, cheese, cold chicken or left-over taco meat that can be nuked for taco salad. Soups can be reheated for warm nights, too. Or sub sandwiches made at home. Sometimes I'll grill extra chicken to use later for chicken salad. There are all sorts of hot weather meals you can make at home that don't require heating up the kitchen.

[Elizabeth Conley]

"So...how about you???? "

 

How sure are you that you know who gives, who does not, and whether they consider it a private matter or a public one?

[TraceyS/FL]

Forgive me as I don't know your specific situation....but government aid is based on the income of those living in the household....so if you're in the middle of a divorce, so long as the spouse isn't still living at home, then the fact is that your income would be zero, or whatever you might be earning personally. You wouldn't be including his income because you don't have access to his paycheck anymore (I would presume).

 

He is still living in the house - but i have no access to funds.

 

It's really not a pretty thing to be going thru at all.....

[hana]

He is still living in the house - but i have no access to funds.

 

It's really not a pretty thing to be going thru at all.....

 

I'm sorry you're going through this; I'm pretty sure they would consider you a separate household if you don't have access to funds. My adult daughter and her baby live with us and qualify for food stamps, even though the rest of us do not, and she does not need access to any of our financial information.

[ConnieB]

He is still living in the house - but i have no access to funds.

 

It's really not a pretty thing to be going thru at all.....

 

 

You really ought to get in to see an attorney (many offer a free consultation and also many will start a case with a very low fee, usually the filing fees, when they know that the other party is the breadwinner, because they know the courts will eventually award your attorney fees to be paid by them.). Leaving you and the children without money to buy necessities is definitely frowned on by the courts...big time. Now...if you mean that he's living there and paying the bills, semi-filling the fridge, perhaps not with what you want, but there is food to available, then it's a little harder, but not impossible. But if he's basically making you and the children go hungry or forcing you to ask shelters/food pantry etc for food, then the Court will not be happy with him. And...if his being there is causing emotional distress on you or the children (or worse), the attorney can request that the Court order him out of the house. Of course, many factors weigh in on this, but it's never quite as hopeless as some people think, and an attorney will be able to give you some idea of what you are entitled to and what to expect.