Jump to content



  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by ConnieB

  1. Link to article at Yahoo: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/pastor-corporal-punishment-advice-scrutinized-child-deaths-160004793.html New York Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/deaths-put-focus-on-pastors-advocacy-of-spanking.html?_r=2 Wow. About time, but how sad that it took the death of several children before anything will be done about him.
  2. Yeah but someday she will. :auto: Might need to start planning your escape now.
  3. Call your local police station and talk with them about it. They will be able to tell you what officer was legitmately in your area and that might give you a chance to talk with the officer. Did the girls say that he left "mid-sentence". It does seem VERY odd to me that he drove off as soon as you approached. While it is possible that he was just being friendly with them, the driving off bothers me....if it was because a call came in you or the girls should have heard the very loud radio dispatch call AND he would have immediately picked up the radio to answer. Decades ago when I was a teen, a police mechanic was finally arrested for rape of young women. Late at night he'd cruise around in a vehcle that was supposed to be in for repairs, turn on the lights to pull over a young woman all alone. Of course because he was in a uniform (stolen from an officer's locker) the woman didn't resist when he asked them to get out of the vehicle. Soon as they unlocked the door he attacked them. Obviously, not saying it's even remotely the same thing, and your's was in broad daylight....but just because he looked like an officer and a real police car does not mean it was. Your peace of mind deserves an answer and the best way to get it is to ask the officer what happened.
  4. I'd take it but only for a year. I would sock away all of the money I made and tell the kids that this is a year for them to buckle down and get way ahead in their school work. Then in a year we'd have the money to take some very nice educational trips. But...I'm of the mindset that I can do anything for a short period of time....even unpleasant things.....so long as I know there is an end to it, and hopefully some sort of reward for putting up with it, lol. If you'd enjoy the work and it wouldn't hamper your children's education, but in fact in a year could enhance it, then yes, it's worth the short term sacrifice. Also, you get off work at 2pm....doesn't sound like the work would be completely exhausting, and most museums around here are open until at least 5 and usually have one evening they're open much later....so you COULD still fit in trips if you wanted. I think your kids ages are kinda on the brink of whether I'd be comfortable dropping them off at a museum/zoo by themselves while I went to work......it would really depend on the kids. My twins will be 15 next month and we have started letting them be on their own for several hours at a time....very safe environments like the library and museums where staff know them. Never the mall or something insane, lol. And they never go alone, must be both and stick together. Of course, I also have dreams of being able to take long trips to places we've studied.....which aren't cheap of course, and your situation sounds perfect...work for a year and then have enough to take a couple of months and wander the world. If the kids worked diligently on their school work and got ahead then I wouldn't have the guilt of letting them slack off on some subjects while we travelled, considering the education they'd get just travelling.
  5. Many victims of abuse believe that THEY are to blame for the abuse, that they did something wrong or were bad and therefore deserved the abuse. It's a large part of the reason that abuse doesn't get reported and/or that someone stays with their abuser. Obviously this is something that most people who have never experienced abuse simply can't comprehend.....but it's how the abused feel and to them it makes sense...."if I could just behave like he wants (or whatever) then he wouldn't abuse me, so it's MY fault". Most abusers are also quite accomplished at manipulation and certainly help the victim feel that it's their fault.
  6. Yeah....and she kept this "secret" for so long because?????? She's desperate and not quite sane.......and sadly her attorney's have no choice but to go with the story she tells them. Oh...and let's not forget that KNOWING that someone caused the death of another and hiding that fact is also a felony....but certainly less of a prision sentence which at this point is about all she has left to hope for. This poor child....my mind just can't handle thinking about what her few years on Earth must have been like with this as her family. Excuse me...I have to go hug my kids. :sad:
  7. First question of course is was this child conceived and born in California? Arnie has only been Gov for 2 terms, so it’s possible the laws of another state would prevail. California paternity law can be very complicated and also very different from many other states. First, a man is "conclusively presumed" to be the father of a child if he is both married to and cohabiting with the mother, as long as he is not sterile or impotent. As I recall the article, it was acknowledged at the mother was married at the time….but were they living together or separated? In law, a "conclusive" presumption usually means that it cannot be rebutted. But this presumption actually can be rebutted, within two years of the child's birth, with blood tests showing that the husband is not the biological father of the child. That's why many divorces also include paternity testing for very young children....just to be sure that Dad doesn't pay 18 years of support for a child that isn't his...it's also a tactic to humiliate the Wife. And sadly, the court condones it by always overruling objections that no infidelity has been accused. Nice eh? Since we can probably presume that if Hubby had found out 8 years ago, he’d wouldn’t have been quiet about it….it sounds like Arnie is off the hook legally as far as supporting the child, or of having himself declared the legal father. And it also means that the child will have an uphill battle being declared an heir. Of course, I fully expect the Husband and child to file suits about emotional distress and maybe even Mom….so that Arnie has to pay someone for something. I'm sure the scuz attorney's are already doing their research. And Arnie will likely pay, if for nothing else than to make it all go away. Poor poor Arnie (do we have a sarcasm icon?).
  8. I feel sorry for the child. They gave enough information that it's only going to take a day or two for the mother's name to come out (she'd worked for the family for 20 years, retired in January...child is about 10....hmmmm, even as big a staff as they had can't be a lot of choices. ) That child spent the first 10 years of her life believing that the man married to her mother was her Dad. And now she has to deal with the truth. And not privately and on her own timetable, but in the public eye with cameras inevitably following her around constantly. NO child should have to switch gears like that, but to do it in the public eye is just so sad for the child. As for Maria....she defended his "groping" so that he could become Gov....and like so many of the woman in her family (and in politics in general) they put up with a lot for the sake of the power it brings. She is simply too intelligent for me to ever believe she had no clue of his infidelity. Curious when she learned of the child. Could have been years ago and she smiled through the cameras to keep the power....and now that Arnie is done as a politician and going back to his horrible Hollywood habits she's done. If she thought he couldn't keep it zipped before, Hollywood shouldn't wouldn't help. My thoughts and sympathies go to the child in question and to Maria & Arnie's kids....they do NOT deserve to have to deal with this garbage at their ages. They deserve better.
  9. I agree with your DH about the repairs being less than a car payment and therefore worth doing IF....and for me it's a HUGE IF....if those repairs are not something that left the driver stranded. Or that it's not rapidly headed in that direction. To me that is simply unacceptable for either me and the kids or my spouse to be put into a potentially dangerous situation by a vehicle breakdown. If the repairs didn't involve it stopping running then if your husband has the skills and time necessary to do the repairs cheaper than the costs of a car loan and the higher insurance, then yes, I'd probably keep repairing it. Now-a-days another consideration is gas mileage....obviously you're not going to save $400 a month in gas, but some of those old clunker types get half what the newer cars do, so that's simply a number your accountant hubby would be plugging into the equation too. As for the tires....if when you decide that the old car has breathed it's last.....remember that used tires especially ones with loads of tread left can boost the price you may be able to get for it from a junk yard. Or they can be sold by you without the rest of the car attached and the dead car donated to charity for the tax write off (they don't car about the condition of the car, they take the old clunks and sell them to a junk yard or may be running a junk yard themselves).
  10. Log into your Groupon account and hover over your name in the upper right hand corner. A pull down menu should appear....choose "My Groupons" and you will see the offer you purchased.
  11. Were it not for incessant advertising (even the grocery ads blast it into my face) I wouldn't know that the game was this weekend, lol. No sporting event means anything to my family, thankfully!
  12. You need to contact your doctor and get examined. Often times chemo can do really odd things to your body, and inflammation is definitely one of them. So while your worst fears may be true, it could also be just a side effect of the drugs that are being pumped into your body and will go away as your body grows used to the drugs. The ONLY way to know which it is will be an examination by a qualified doctor. Contact your doctor or the clinic where you receive your chemo as soon as possible. :grouphug:
  13. And then there are the pushing-50 men who STILL will sit there and grin almost like they're looking for you to acknowledge that they've done something wonderful....when all we want to do is run from the room. :confused:
  14. Wow...if drunk driving is considered a "good kid"....I wonder what these friends think it takes to be considered a "bad" kid. Not sure I'd want to know! I guess we are ultra conservative, because we don't do sleepovers with same gender even. I wonder how these same parents are going to feel when these co-eds come to them with the news that they're going to be grandparents? Stay tuned.
  15. Mine you just unplug it and let it stay unplugged for 5 minutes or so and the settings will go away. But if you unplug and immediately plug back in it's memory hasn't cleared yet. If not, yes, you can transfer it to the oven to darken a little more.
  16. My kids make up jello and pudding into reusable containers every Sunday night so we just grab one and throw it DH's lunch each day....or we take them with us when we know we won't be home at lunch. Same with trail mix, Chinese crackers, homemade pita chips and occasionally when we buy chips.....bag them up into serving sizes and then they all go into a large box under the table. Just reach in a grab the first one your hand touches.....that way it's always something different! Check and make sure that you have whatever sandwich fixings you'll need for the week....my DH loves SPAM, underwood spread, tuna salad, PB&J, salami and a few other lunch meats. So I make sure we have those available. I typically make up tuna only on a day when I have tme, because all the others are super fast and easy to slap onto a piece of bread with some mayo/mustard. Having to hunt and figure out what you have that you can use is draining. My DH takes water along with him, so we have two quart size water jugs. That way there is always one in the fridge staying cold. The kids are SUPPOSED to wash it each night, refill it and stick in the fridge, and they're generally good at that....but having an extra in the fridge means that the nights we have activities and the kitchen doesn't get completely finished, there isn't a panic in the morning that we have no cold water for Daddy. (We live in Arizona and in the summer this is vital because his job takes him to various sites around the county and not having water in our heat can be deadly....not so vital right now in nice weather, but he still wants a cold drink!). The other nice thing about the jugs of water is that he can take along flavor packets in case he gets a craving for sweet drink, rather than stopping to buy a soda. The flavor packets live in the pocket of his cooler....when he uses one he leaves the trash in his cooler so we know to restock. He always has 5 of them in the pocket. Veggie sticks....we cut these on Sundays but since everyone in the family snacks on them we tend to need to do more mid-week. Carrots, celery, jicama, zuccini, cucumber, bell pepper, etc. We make a homemade dip and it goes into tiny containers, ready to just grab and toss in the cooler too. So...hubby's lunch always consists of: sandwich in a reusable plastic container (prevents it from being squished and no zippy bags to waste), an apple or orange, a jello/pudding (we put a spoon in each morning but there is an extra in the pocket in case someone forgets), chips, veggies, drink. Takes maybe 2-3 minutes to make his sandwich and literally another minute or two to throw them into the cooler with blue ice. They all fit in a particular way so there isn't even any brain power needed to make them fit, lol. Less than 5 minutes and his lunch is ready for him. Pour the coffee into the thermal drink cup and he's out the door. We spend less than 20 minutes on Sunday making the stuff....there are 3 of us....one does jello/puddings, one does the chips/veggie bagging, and I'm usually the one finding what sandwich makings we have (oh yeah, and I write those on a tiny white board on the fridge so sleepy heads don't have to think...when you decide what you're making a finger wipes it off the board). Not only does taking our lunches save us a ton of money....think of the calories saved and the healthier choices available. DH had a serious, ummm, flatulence problem, when he was eating fast food most days....and thank heavens not anymore! Digestion/heartburn problems went away too. Not to mention a few pounds dropped.
  17. I've been using http://www.rememberthemilk.com for a while now and it has been a good thing. While you can pay to use it as a phone app, I did their trial and found it less effiecent than just using the website. I have a shortcut for it on my home page of my cell, click, and there are my lists. The finger spread thing makes it bigger for easier reading....the app didn't show my notes so I didn't like that part....or paying for it, lol. Another great thing about this is that the lists "live" online....so my husband at work can simply go online and add something he wants me to pick up to the list and it's there when I get to the grocery store even though I didn't ever talk to him. The kids each have a shortcut to it on their computer too, so if they think of something it goes on there. And...when we're in the kitchen and I use up something I just say "go put it on the list" and the race is on because they love putting it on the list from any of our computers. Being able to type things in using the full size keyboard on my computer is a big plus....we do weekly meal planning, so we tend to add a lot of items all at once (plus all the onesy twosie needs as the days go by). Not having to type it all into the cell phone saves a ton of time. One or two items is fine on the cell....a 40 item grocery list gets old. You get to customize it. Not only do I have grocery lists, but I have what I call "Master" lists....you know the "what brand of deodrant does Dad use? What are the ingredients for our favorite recipes? What size battery does each person's watch take? And did I mention it's free, lol.
  18. Well, the reasons people choose a certain number to plant for IVF is probably just as complicated as the reasons someone homeschools. Each family is different. We're a part of a Mothers of Multiples and I've heard many reasons. Some pick high numbers because of they have tried it several times already and it is financially quite expensive, but it's also emotionally very difficult to go through the procedure, do a lot of hoping and praying, and then find none took. And wanting a baby bad enough to try again and again. I know families who have mortgaged houses to finance it repeatedly. I can understand wanting to up your chances....and probably some part of them is saying "we've tried 2 or 3 several times and it hasn't worked, maybe 5 or 6 means we'd get something". I can't imagine the heartache involved in repeated attempts, and perhaps the desperation that they feel each time.
  19. Or ..... "Johnny I wish we'd aborted you too". I've sadly heard moms scream horrible things at their children, and can just imagine the shrill in her voice when Johnny does something naughty and that moms starts thinking she shouldn't have bothered having him either. I comfort myself to think that perhaps it will never happen since someone else will be raising her 2 kids.
  20. My girls are MOMO as well...born 11 weeks early, but because we were fortunate enough to find out early and then to also find a hospital with experience in such high risk, they both survived. I was on hospital bedrest from 14 weeks until delivery so they were constantly monitored and we were able to do steriods to prep their lungs for early delivery etc so that when the tangled cords began eroding one of the girls' vital signs they were able to be delivered early but with a high chance of survival. It wasn't the way I pictured having a baby or caring for a newborn in the NICU for several months, but it was what we had to do to have healthy babies. They're teens now and you'd never know they were so premature. We were very blessed. My heart aches every time I hear a story like yours with the results not as positive.....but the success of even just one MOMO baby is a miracle! Hug your daughter for me.
  21. I'm confused......She already had one child (whom presumably was in day care somewhere already)....was not upset at being pregnant with a second, but then found it was twins and somehow having that third child makes the difference? Obviously she's planning to return to work, so who is going to raise child #1 and #2....and why couldn't that same person raise child #3? And yes, reduction of twins has been around for a long time....I was offered it when I was totally speechless and a bit dazed by the news that I had twins in there. But, since it wasn't that I was upset by the news, just in total shock, lol....I declined immediately. Those babies are now teens.
  22. I'd definitely say something....librarians don't have the time to read every book so they don't know there is a problem until someone says something. Worst that could happen is they politely thank you and put the book back on the shelf. Best thing, they discard it so that they aren't giving out incorrect information. You might also want to write to the publisher of the book so if nothing else they could correct it for any future editions. If you're so inclined and your library has simply put it back on the shelf, you might consider purchasing a more accurate book and requesting that they remove the bad one and replace it with your donation. I noticed an article on yahoo earlier today where Walmart is removing some CD it sells that is marketed to kids that contains swear words. It took a mom complaining before they realized there was a problem. Just like your library they need to know before they can fix the problem.
  23. Put on your own music at a level that will drown out his?
  24. My solution was if they can't play nicely with a toy than the toy has to take a time out. It would be put into a box on top of the refrigerator. And quite often both girls would be standing in front of the fridge staring upward with the saddest of faces (enough that I had to rush out of the room not to burst into laughter at their expressions, lol). The toy could come back out when they were getting along again. It took a while of doing this before they got the hint....and often I only had to ask if the toy needed a time out before they'd stop the bickering and decide to work together. They're teens now, so the fights aren't over tangible things as much which makes it harder for the fridge time out, lol....but now I ask them if they need ME to resolve the problem....knowing full well they'll hate my resolution. (fight over the blue shirt, I'll wear it instead, lol....fight over who is supposed to be doing the dishes, you'll both do them AND extra chores I find or create, etc). Some arguments I do let go....usually when it's more a debate about why one is correct and other isn't....intellectual arguments I'll leave them to it, or maybe even join in....but petty bickering I don't let go for very long because I can't stand to hear it, lol. With twins you have to get a little more creative in resolving things, but I don't think your kids are doing anything unusual....just think outside the box to get them to work together or share more fairly, so that they can see that cooperation is a happier mommy so a happier home.
  25. Realize that hummus is very subjective....we love it here....but only certain brands or our own homemade. There are some restaurants that we've learned to avoid it because it's absolutely gross...and some commerically available that it's not good either. So...if you've only tried it once, maybe consider trying another brand? Maybe you know friends who like it that could recommend (or let you taste) their brand? Broadening a child's fruit and veggie world could ONLY be a positive thing! Don't be afraid to ask about different ones at your local market (or better yet, have the children ask, makes for a great conversation!) Maybe some of the big name groceries aren't the best place (but try, who knows) but most farmer's markets are run by people who love their product and take great pride in their fruit/veggies. Some to try that aren't super common, but also are things readily available: kiwi, guava, papaya, mango for fruits. For veggies try jicama (deep fried it's an alternative to french fries or raw it's great for dips). Instead of baked potato, next time try baking sweet potatoes...peel and mash like baked potato but then sprinkle a little cinnamon. Ok...there are lots more that I could say on my favorite subject, but you get the idea. Most places fruit and veggies are reasonably priced (ok, maybe not in the snow areas right now...but in spring?)....so if you try something and honestly don't like, it's not a huge expense. But do remember that many children must try something several times before they like it.
  • Create New...