Christmas. All you expected or kind of disappointing?

[Doran]

I'm curious. I have a theory that big occasions like Christmas quite often leave us feeling let down in some way. There's so much build up. So many feelings at stake. We create this image in our minds of how it *ought* to be, but it almost never is. What happens? Often we find ourselves in stressful situations, rushing to get things done when our days are already so busy, or spending time with family members who may rub us the wrong way. Sometimes we end up sick, or a child decorates the bedclothes with Christmas Eve dinner before Santa has a chance to arrive. Maybe it's our own selfish/childish/immature reactions that are truly at the root of our disappointments.

 

Whatever the cause, I'd love to know how people *really* felt about their holiday. If you're being totally honest, was it all or nearly all you'd hoped for? Was it the best you could have expected? Or was there some significant let down or upset that caused Christmas to lack luster for you?

 

I suppose you could guess from my post which sort of Christmas I had. :glare:

[Jennifer3141]

We had a really, really nice holiday. DH works nights this weeks and although we miss him, the kids get more crazy loud time at night when he's at work.

 

The presents were amazingly fun to watch them open and I have hilarious stories to regale my friends with.

 

I wish I had made a fancier meal for dinner but c'est la vie. No one's going to remember what they ate a year from now anyway.

 

Jen

[nukeswife]

Our wasn't a complete downer or anything but it wasn't all fun and happiness either. My dh is off until the 2nd which is great but he'll also be gone for much of the next few months. This meant it's our only time until possibly summer to tag team on the potty training front for our youngest. He's a real stubborn bugger so it's been a rough couple of days. It's also always a bit hard to hear of the great family gatherings we miss because it's just too hard to travel back to see anyone (they all live in WI or IA, and we're in VA)

 

The kids were happy with their gifts and have been having fun, and it was about 65° so at least the weather was gorgeous.

[Daisy]

You know, usually I feel let down afterwards, but not this year. We kept things really simple this year. We've never gone overboard but this year was even more simplistic. We are all relaxed. We enjoyed our few gifts. Really enjoyed them. We had time to play the board games, watch the hamster, build legos. We had a terrific day.

[Doran]

Our wasn't a complete downer or anything but it wasn't all fun and happiness either.

 

 

Oh, mine wasn't even close to a complete downer. In fact, the bit that was disappointing was the *only* bit that went wrong, as far as I'm concerned. So, I'm truly not swimming in regrets here. But, there is a little something I'll definitely want to change about next year, if I can. :001_smile:

[Plucky]

We had an awesome Christmas. So far it's been perfect in every way inspite of being snowed in and having the neighbor run us to the grocery store in his truck. My kids declared this the best Christmas ever and the presents aren't any better than any other year. I have a great family and we are not disappointed. I wanted to add that dh only got home at 4 a.m. and missed Christmas eve. If he'd missed today we would have put the whole day on hold until he came home and I don't think it would've affected our delight one iota. :)

Edited December 25, 2008 by True Blue

[Melinda in VT]

I had a very enjoyable day . . . in part because I have let go of the idea that Christmas has to be all that I expected in order to be a success. (And I really don't mean that in a snotty way, although I understand I haven't phrased it well.) This has been a hard lesson to learn, but it was worth the effort.

 

DH is the main cook, and he was sick (allergies or a cold), so we scaled down dinner. (He wanted me to sit on the couch so he could nap with his head in my lap instead of having me up and about cooking.) We are far away from family. And the next 10 days are the most stressful of the year for our business, so it takes work to push the anticipation of that from my mind.

 

But we've had fun with our immediate family. The kids have new toys and games to play with. We have some new movies and cartoons to watch together. Everyone has a new book to read. (Except our oldest, because we bought him one he has already read.:tongue_smilie:) We kept the fire burning almost the whole day. It was cozy. It was good.

[nmoira]

We're in the midst of a weather event.

 

The good:

 

It could be so much worse. The kids are holding up well, though they're disappointed at not seeing their Grandmother today. No big deal was made about only Santa's gifts being under the tree. We're well provisioned and there have been no major flareups between family members.

The bad:

 

We're more or less snowed in... there was a bit of hope today, but a fresh batch of rain and snow made it impossible to get our car to a clear road. Many of the kids' presents didn't arrive because FedEx and UPS haven't been able to make it into our neighborhood. Our planned annual Chinese dinner is kaput. I am stir crazy, only having been out of the house for about 2 hours since the snow started a week and a half ago.

 

The ugly:

 

They're about to watch The Nutcracker for the 8th time this season. :ack2:

[ereks mom]

Yep, Doran, me too.

[elegantlion]

Ours has actually been very nice and peaceful. It was just us, no other family and honestly that has been nice. Dh is watching TV, I'm here, and ds is playing with the neighbors. The ham is in the oven and we'll eat dinner in a little bit.

 

I don't like being stressed out over the holidays and I think planning for it to be just us was the right thing.

 

This is the first year in a long time that I have actually enjoyed Christmas Day, so maybe I simply lowered my expectations. :D

[readwithem]

I got some surprises for everybody that were huge hits. Two boxes from mil never arrived - well, they never made it in the house, we don't know whether UPS left them on the front porch (as usual) and they were taken or what. Tomorrow we'll see what we can do - their website (which we didn't bother to check till today) says they were delivered 12/15....

[katalaska]

Everything in my stocking was from myself and I had exactly three gifts under the tree. One was a beanie baby and a check from my mother (we are inundated with beanie babies...have thousands...but my mother will not stop sending them). One was an IOU for a set of headphones. The third was a piece of cloth with a sweet message from my oldest dd. This was by far the best gift.

 

However, my Family Secret Santa did NOT come through (I posted about this yesterday and in August when the idea was first floated) and there was nothing under the tree, in my stocking, or anywhere from my husband. Two of my three children gave me nothing.

 

Dh says we need to talk about my gifts (as in, that he didn't get any).

 

Should we discuss the fact that he got everything he wanted (and is asking for more)?

 

I KNOW (intellectually) that it's "not about the gifts," "it is better to give than to receive," and all those other cliches meant to smooth over hurt feelings when you get nothing.

 

However, I spent hours and days finding the "right" gifts for my three kids, my dh, my mother, my grandmother, my nieces and nephews (little things--we actually have a "policy" of not buying for everyone because of the expense) as well as dh's and my Secret Santa assignments and three families we were helping to sponsor through the kids' swim team and dh's work...not to mention wrapping them....

 

And I just. feel. forgotten.:(

 

So, yeah...Christmas 2008 will be forgotten (because I will forget my disappointment...I always do!) as the year I got virtually nothing for Christmas.

 

On the other hand, I had a fabulous birthday last month...does that count for anything?? :tongue_smilie:

[cin]

Gifts for the kids were a big hit. But let's just say that MIL is spending the night, and I've been hiding in the bedroom with my laptop since about 6:30 this evening. It has been a stresssful day. I haven't been able to keep any food down, I've thrown up twice. (I have a lapband, this is not unusual when I'm stressed). I'm eating chocolate pudding and drinking milk with ice in it to help sooth my very sore stomach.

 

She did write us a nice check for Christmas and offer to pay for the kid's toys, which DH bought on her credit card to begin with. I could have, claiming pain and suffering, but I didn't :001_smile:

[Tree House Academy]

This was a wonderful Christmas! My mother was here to spend it with us for the first time in almost 5 years. That, in itself, was great! We had a smaller than normal Christmas for the kids, yet they still LOVED it and had a complete ball. They didn't notice nor care that they only got 3 gifts to unwrap and one from "santa." That made my day. My dh and I decided not to exchange gifts, as did my mom and I because...why??? My mom lives on a budget (a small one at that) and she couldn't afford to spend $$$ on me or my dh when we have everything we want and more. My dh and I would rather pay off bills and spend some quality time together than get gifts for each other (refer to comment about having everything we want and more).

 

I did some work and got most of the Christmas decorations down today and have my house looking almost "normal" (I hate all the clutter of Christmas). We still have up the big tree until New Year's Day because my little one asked for it. :)

 

We finished up the day with a wonderful and yummy dinner with my MIL and S-FIL and now my mom and dh are playing UNO with my ds9 while my ds5 spends time being dressed as a transformer.

 

The only thing I am sad about tonight is that my mom has to go home tomorrow!

[Colleen]

"Practically perfect" implies expectations, so that doesn't work for me. Which isn't to say it's lacking it luster, either. It just...is what it is.:)

 

I've been somewhat stir-crazy for the past week+ due to the "weather event" (as nmoira so aptly phrased it;)). As I said in a thread yesterday, cozying up together day after day with no other real choices isn't quite the same as choosing to be together, if you kwim. Quantity doesn't always trump quality, and we've had a whole heckuvva lotta quantity. So I was somewhat disappointed that the Christmas Eve service was cancelled ~ particularly because they waited until literally the last hour to cancel.

 

But we had our usual Christmas Eve fondue dinner and the boys opened a couple of gifts and we revisited Bedford Falls for the umpteenth time and that was all pleasant. Then today, cinnamon rolls at brunch, followed by more gifts, and now my pork roast is cooking. Hans was working from 3 a.m. until 9 and is out again this afternoon. I'm kinda bored. Kinda wanting to get together with friends who asked us to come over tonight and sled ~ but kinda feeling too lazy to do so. I should go, though; my boys could use the company. They're involved with their Lego and Playmobil, though. I'm so happy my children are easily pleased. And I try to be that way, too. I used to feel kinda down that I put so much effort into this day without "getting" anything in return. I've dropped the expectations, though. I do what I do ~ all the choosing and shopping and wrapping and card-sending and cooking and yada yada yada ~ because I do love this season. I love the traditions and I want to create and continue those traditions. And if I don't do it, it won't happen.:)

[Liz CA]

You know, usually I feel let down afterwards, but not this year. We kept things really simple this year. We've never gone overboard but this year was even more simplistic. We are all relaxed. We enjoyed our few gifts. Really enjoyed them. We had time to play the board games, watch the hamster, build legos. We had a terrific day.

 

Yup. A couple of years ago I finally quit trying to have everything spotless and just do what I like to do for Christmas, cooking, baking, eating and drinking (hot chocolate mostly).

Christmas is always good - not because I make it so but because of what it signifies for me.

You are right though, on the whole it has been determined that a lot of people are more depressed immediately after a "big expectation holiday" because of all the build-up. I used to feel sad that it was all over by the 2nd of January but now I see it as an opportunity to start again, do something new, make better choices, etc.

Last year at this time I decided (motivated by various posts on this board) to buy more items from an organic food co-op and I've had a lot of fun discovering things I didn't know existed and trying out new recipes.

 

You've had a great loss this year, Doran. Perhaps the melancholy is not all Christmas related - as is to be expected?

[JudoMom]

We've had a really nice holiday. Dh was gone much of this semester (he had a really hard class that required insane amounts of studying), but he's home for the next week. It's been so nice to enjoy his company without the distractions of him worrying about his school or me worrying about our homeschool.

 

The boys were all happy with their gifts, I'm thrilled with my gift, and dh was thrilled with his gifts. Even my Eeyore child has had a mostly good attitude today, and it's kind of been a blessing him struggle though his Eeyore emotions and handle them responsibly. They boys were all grateful (okay, so ds3 has struggled with...uh, selfish emotions) for their gifts.

 

Since dh is home for the next week, I feel like I'm truely getting a Christmas break and I'm going to enjoy it.

 

A week from Sunday I'll be in a funk, I'm sure. The decorations will be down and real life will resume. Until then...it's going to be bliss with my 6 favorite guys on Earth!

[Doran]

You've had a great loss this year, Doran. Perhaps the melancholy is not all Christmas related - as is to be expected?

 

 

You're right, Liz. I have had waves of emotion all day, most of it kept just below the surface. When I got up this morning, I asked dh if I could borrow a pair of his pajama pants, and he directed me to a trunk at the foot of our bed where he keeps these. I pulled out a pair of festive looking flannel pants, red and green, that were unfamiliar to me. We finally determined that they had been my father's, brought here by my mother on Thanksgiving. I wore them all day and felt my Dad's presence all the while. It's so hard to describe this place of happy-sadness that I'm in. But, you're right to remind me that some of my melancholy may be about more than how Christmas Day turned out.

 

Hugs and thanks!

[Storm Bay]

Neither answer. I've had my share of disappointed holidays, but now I don't expect a lot from Christmas, and had a pleasant day. Actually, quite a fun day. I got some totally unexpected gifts from friends who don't normally give me gifts, so I hadn't got them anything. One remembered a book I really wanted and gave it to me--he also gave amazingly thoughtful gifts to my dh and my dc. Another friend asked if she and her family could come by today late in the afternoon (last week she called). I figured, knowing her, she'd have something for each of my dc, so we made up some gift bags with things we mostly already had that I thought they'd like, but they surprised dh and I with several gifts. They brought food, we had food, and we had a lot of fun. Those things were different.

 

No turkey this year. My dc wanted hot dogs (we don't usually eat them) so I bought some all natural ones, and we had chicken wings, pumpkin pie and various other things with our friends. Not traditional.

 

We'll celebrate with dh's family next month, which will have lots of traditions; my family lives thousands of miles away, so I had an hour long chat with each of them on the phone (ETA--not an hour each, an hour for all of them), and hope to be done with all phone calls for a few days!!!

[myfunnybunch]

Once I started expecting only that I will get at least one gift I LOVE (because I always do), and that the children will thoroughly enjoy the day, I started having perfect Christmases.

 

We enjoy our traditions, and we enjoy our day together. Perfect. Not "nothing ever goes wrong" ideal, but "we're happy and healthy and loved" perfect.

 

Cat

[Parrothead]

We have had a great day with a handful of disappointments. A couple of games didn't work like they were supposed to. And the biggest disappointment was that I had no surprises. I even had to wrap most of my gifts. That is a dh thing and for the last 10 years I haven't figured out how to get over that.

[mom2abcd]

The warm, fuzzy feelings about Christmas are great, but I don't count on them for Christmas to be meaningful.

 

We haven't actually done much of what some think of being "Christmas"-- the gathering with family around a big dinner, opening presents, etc. That will be tomorrow and Sunday.

 

We did get to attend three VERY special worship services. The Scripture readings, special music, hymns, sermons, etc. all contributed to helping us focus on the true meaning of Christmas... Christ come to earth to be our Savior.

 

There are still plenty of things on my To Do list... like Christmas cards... but if the weather keeps us home and we do nothing more "Christmasy" than we've done, I will still be more than satisfied.

 

It's been a very special Christmas.

[Rosie_0801]

I admit I was a bit offended when I found Dh searching through his inbox on Christmas Eve morning trying to find the wish list I sent months ago when I was in a strangely perky mood. I started saving in about March to be able to afford his, which he was quite aware of, and he couldn't even take the time to think about mine. I told him not to bother, since we had so many more important things to get done. If it's the thought that counts, and the thought is "Oh ****, it's Christmas Eve and I haven't got her present yet," then it's not really a thought worth spending any more time on. So I told him I really wanted a nice dinner for Christmas, since I'm on a really boring restricted diet still. He didn't even bother to do that, and I can tell you that hurt. Pureeing the beans instead of half heartedly mashing them for the bean loaf would have been all that was required.

 

Other than that, it all went well! It would have been good if my relatives had have told me, rather than each other, that they were going to show up here on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day. Then they'd have got a proper dinner instead of soup! Not that they complained or anything, but we had everything ready to go into the oven on Christmas morning. They didn't complain about eating salad and cake for breakfast either, because that's all that was ready :) Everyone, except my pregnant self, went out the back to play boffer and put up more of a challenge for dh than he expected, so that was a happiness. So what if cricket is the nation's traditional backgard Christmas game? ;) Sister and Dad headed off mid-morning to go to the extended family's do, and dd's godfather rocked up so dh got to hit someone else with boffer weapons. I was disappointed by the reports from dh that the lavender and rice filled pumpkin was boring (I couldn't eat it myself,) but this morning he said it was great, and just needs to be made a day ahead to have time for the flavours to develop. So, I'm very happy about that and look forward to trying it next year. Dh's family never got around to making suitable arrangements with him, so he got to stay home instead of travelling down there to get nagged. Hopefully his parents will book a cruise for next Christmas like they did last year, and wanted to do this year. It's pretty silly to spend November arguing with people over Christmas arrangments when they would prefer to be on a cruise instead of seeing any of us anyway.

 

So, we only saw the people we wanted to see, they only saw the people they wanted to see, no one had to run around like a headless chook to get to where they were supposed to be because everyone was doing what they wanted instead of what someone else wanted them to do. Nobody complained about my food. It was all good and we're going to do it this way again next year and the year after...!

 

:)

Rosie- who won't be pregnant next Christmas so will be pinching some of the baking ideas off here so she can harass the poor guys into eating more cake than I insist on already, heheheh.

Edited December 26, 2008 by Rosie_0801

[Julpost]

I totally lowered my expectations for this year. With a toddler and preschooler, I have FINALLY learned to let go of wanting a nice, picked up house. It wasn't a disaster but it was a lot messier than I would like. I just ignored it and played with the kids. I picked up once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and I'll do it once more when the kids are in bed. Instead, I played, napped, ate, and played again.

 

It was fantastic! I also let go of the perfect dinner and just let dh make it. It was tasty and the best part was I didn't have to do any of it.

 

I'd say, overall, it was a very good day.

[Kari C in SC]

I had a very enjoyable day . . . in part because I have let go of the idea that Christmas has to be all that I expected in order to be a success. (And I really don't mean that in a snotty way, although I understand I haven't phrased it well.) This has been a hard lesson to learn, but it was worth the effort.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

I was just talking to my mom about this tonight. I am 36 now, but I remember back in my twenties. I felt let down so many times because my dh didn't do this or didn't do that. I built up such a picture perfect thought in my head and it just never came out as I expected. Over the last 5 years or so, I just have gotten to a place where I just take it as it comes and it is all good. I like it so much better this way and so does my family.

[jamnkats]

Ours sucked pretty much for me but the kids would probably say it was great. They ate candy all day long and played with their friends. It is 9:07pm and they are still playing with their friends. Other than opening presents this morning, I haven't seen them all day long. So I decided not to cook today since this is apparently just like any other day and spent much of the afternoon at the beach.

 

But I would have traded the kids hanging around the palapa today for my day alone at the beach.

[Michelle T]

I've been feeling awful most of the day with a terrible migraine and nausea. I spent half the day in bed.

 

But it would have been great otherwise.

Michelle T

[Mommyof4ks]

I am sorry you had a bad Christmas. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

 

We had an incredible Christmas, but you would have to understand how terrible the last two Christmases have been in terms of serious medical situations.

 

All three of our kiddos were happy and healthy, and they all ran in to the living room excited about opening presents! They loved everything they received. It was so much fun to see our extended family today too!

 

We are currently on fever watch, and that means an admit to children's hospital due to the chemo that my son is on, but hey we at least got to enjoy Christmas as home!

[1bassoon]

I just can't bring myself to choose either one!

 

The good far outweighs the mildly disappointing:

 

Dh is home for 5 days from his out-of-state work! That in itself is fabulous.

 

The kids all made very, very sweet and thoughtful gifts for their siblings and each other. My eldest two dds even made their brother a Lego bag to carry his stuff to and from friends' houses. I'm really thankful they have such giving spirits.

 

Quiet, quiet day. No family, no friends. Our own schedule. I made a yummy dinner, and it was appreciated.

 

The kids all got gifts that were right on target - no big electronics, but things that really tickled them.

 

My disappointment? I think it's in myself.

 

I have a really, really, REALLY hard time in receiving. It just makes me uncomfortable. I don't even know what I would really like - does anyone kwim? My parents gave me about $100 for Christmas - I bought myself a watch, and I just can't think of anything else to get. (My mom is kinda nuts about this - it has to be something JUST for me.) The one thing I do want - a Macbook - is a little more than that!

 

And then I always get disappointed in what dh gets me. I don't know why- it's not like I get small appliances ;) He really struggles with gift giving, and I struggle with gift getting; I've come to peace with it, but I'm glad I'm not around folks who are showing the nice jewelry, etc. that their dh gave them. (I wouldn't even really want jewelry, btw!)

 

And, finally. I feel like such a failure in money management. Other families I know can give their kids wonderful gifts - they can get their kids a laptop, or a nice trip somewhere, etc. We always have a limited budget at Christmas, and I feel a little guilty for that sometimes, too.

 

I really don't dwell on the negatives. It's been a wonderful day. :001_smile: And it's been good for me to sit and process, just now. . . .

 

Merry Christmas, all!

[dragons in the flower bed]

If you're being totally honest, was it all or nearly all you'd hoped for? Was it the best you could have expected? Or was there some significant let down or upset that caused Christmas to lack luster for you?

 

There was a lot of stuff. I didn't get the kids what I wanted them to have. Instead, we gave them (good, nice) toys that happened to be at the auction where DP got a great deal. DP was in seventh heaven. He gave his kids the mounds of toys he never got as a child, never could afford to give his oldest (now grown) son. But I was frustrated. I have a completely different approach to ownership of material things. I don't want things just to have them. I'd rather have space in which to dance or crowd in friends than toys and such, so I only want, in my house, things that help me live out of my value system. DP does not understand this at all. I feel like the money should have been saved for things we really really wanted, even if those things weren't on sale. He feels we got the most bang for the buck, and that beggars can't be choosers.

 

But nothing we gave the kids was contradictory to my values... except the Wii Narnia game Grandma sent, rated for teens, grrr... and they are playing quite richly with their toys. And this will more than likely never happen again.

 

I feel like the whole holiday was one big Look How Incompatible You Fundamentally Are fest. It's so not true. He's great in other ways, really. But this... this is our one big, scary, threatening difference, and the holiday was all about it.

[Tap]

The weather turned a leisurely holiday into a 'hurry up and wait' holiday. It wasn't stressful, and everyone is healthy and happy so I consider it a success. It was just blah though. I am glad it is over and we can move on now.

 

Christmas Eve plans were canceled the revived at the last minute only to sit in traffic for hours due to an accident in the opposite lanes....grrr gawkers. Ds14 rode 2 hours each way to our destination with his aunt and cousin, who listened to her Ipod the whole way and ignored him. They have always been good friends, so I guess it is just a 'teenage thing'. Ds was bummed. :0(

 

We powered through decorating a Christmas tree at 10:30 last night, I took it down at 10:30 this morning :0/

 

Ds14's presents didn't arrive from UPS so he had a boring day. Combining that with his boring night of travel last night, we let him go to his friends house at noon, so he missed Christmas dinner with us. He is our traditionalist and this holiday's disappointments were hard on him.

 

Dh had a friend over and they worked on the car in our garage...so I spent most of the afternoon alone.

 

Dd10 kept bugging me about using my laptop for Webkins. She doesn't get the holiday overload today. I would let her try but then she was bummed about it not working.

 

Our holiday breakfast tradition was cancelled due to family getting stuck in the snow on the way there. They cancelled and turned around and went home. Don't blame them...but missed them.

 

Our company cancelled on us today but then changed their minds at the last minute. We had porter house steaks for dinner and one of the guys helped me cook them...that was yummy :0)

 

Dh got me new pans that I wanted...yeah! And a new shower head that I didn't....and insisted on putting it up and taking down the one I love :0/ In his enthusiasm, I don't think he was listening to me. I hope I will love it as much as he wants me too.

 

 

Over all it was a good day just constant changes and .... blah!

[Needleroozer]

Even with a migraine, and being snowed in, and not being able to give the kids the majority of their Santa gifts do to the storms, it was a beautiful Christmas. I feel very blessed to have been able to have my little family all together safe and snug in our old farmhouse. I was able to see the generous, caring side of each of my kids, and my Dude, too. Those were the best gifts of all.

 

The Dude and the Girl just left to take the Boy back to his house-sitting gig. I am trying not to bite my nails while they are out in the snow and ice. We will all do the dishes together when they return, and I hope to get the Girl to bed on hte early side so I can play Mr. and Mrs. Santa with the Dude, lol. I can't help it..... my Man looks a bit like Santa, with his longer silver hair, and his full, bushy almost white beard:drool5:..... don't laugh, but it is a bit of a Christmas turn-on for me. :D

 

:blushing:Um, erm. Okay then, on that note of way TMI, I am off. Merry Christmas!

[Colleen]

Funny how we yearn for that "nothing" time ~ until it's foisted upon us. At which point we can't figure out what to do with ourselves.;) And when we really DO have a ton of work at hand, kids can't seem to keep themselves occupied. Whereas when we've got some free time on our hands, they're so involved in their own world they can't be bothered. Strange.

 

So. It really isn't that tremendously pleasant to have virtually no adult company on Christmas. So, while the day has been fine and we are blessed and so on and so forth, I amend my previous post to add...I'm lonely.

[OnTheBrink]

It's been a good day, surprisingly. I've spent the past week crying off and on over my friend's cancer. I was thinking that today would be very depressing, knowing that it's her last Christmas, but it was a peaceful day. The kids loved their gifts, we enjoyed going to the movies. The only real unpleasant part of the day was the conversation with my mother, who apparently believes I'm accountable to her for my life or something. Today's conversation (in which she hung up on me) reminded me why I only speak with her 2x a year.

 

Beyond that, it was a good day. I've given up on the Norman Rockwellesque expectations that a warm, loving extended family will gather around the table for a meal. It's just me and my kids and that's just fine.

[swellmomma]

For the first time ever it was exactly what I hoped for. NO tension since we aired everything out before thanksgiving, people stuck to the list I gave them(it was small but specific) so I got exactly what I needed and nothing wasteful or horrible. Over all it was the best christmas I have had in a long time.

[Cedarmom]

Since we have been snowed in all week, I was afraid we wouldn't even get to have our traditional family Christmas. But my determined husband decided that we wouldn't let a little snow stop us. My hubby and son had to put the chains on and off the car twice, shovel us out when we got stuck in the road, and had some kind people give our car a push once. BUt we were all able to go and pick up my mom and go to my sister's house, where we all celebrated together. So, Christmas was very meaningful to me, because we were all together, and my sweet dh was so cheerful through all the problems driving.

[Nicole M]

Heh heh. I just emailed you about this.

 

My last several Christmases have been so wickedly awful that this one was surprisingly better. It's not what I would have wanted in an ideal world, but I am coming, slowly, to accept that this is what my life is. So I've adjusted my expectations, maybe.

 

And I made awesome gravy for the first time in my life, so that's pretty cool.

[Garga]

Bad Christmas for me. I made DH upset two days ago and when that happens he shuts down. I really was in the wrong, but now I don't know how to get rid of the tension in the house.

 

My parents didn't call but they haven't called me on a holiday in 16 years. Not Christmas, Thanksgiving, My birthday. They never call. I left them a message, but they didn't call back. (They live across the country.)

 

I'm just feeling lonely and sad. I had hoped the tension would break. I'm not good at confrontation, so instead we stewed all day.

 

UGH. What a crummy day it was.

[joannqn]

Our Christmas was really good. Dh was able to get a great family gift with no money out of pocket. The money that we did spend, we were able to afford. No credit was used for the first time ever.

 

The day itself went very well. We had a great breakfast (Quiver's cinnamon rolls). We had the kids open their gifts in stages in a predetermined order so it would last longer. It gave them a chance to enjoy each thing before moving on. They were very happy with their gifts. Dh and I even enjoyed the family gift. We had a yummy (if late) dinner. We're now enjoying one of the movies we bought.

 

I'm very happy with how the day went.

 

The negatives were very minor.

 

I've been sick for 4 weeks. The cough that was plaguing me for 3 weeks and getting better seems to have been made worse by the antibiotics I just started on for my sinus infection. It hasn't been fun.

 

My dad is pretty grumpy on holidays. We called him to say thank you and how much the kids liked what he gave them. They are perfectly happy with their gifts but he is obviously disappointed that he couldn't give them more this year. He gave my daughter a Barbie and two movies that she LOVES. My older son got two sets of 3 Star Wars action figures (he asked specifically for Star Wars action figures) and a Star Wars sticker book that he LOVES. My youngest barely understands what's going on but sure loves the Elmo plushie, Fisher Price Ark, and extra animals he gave him. Oh, and he gave us a $200 telescope that he already owned but wasn't using much and $100 to spend. Oh and he brought birthday presents up with him too so my older son will soon own a $60 Star Wars Lego set and my daughter has a Barbie with a horse (she loves horses) and carriage. My point...he gave plenty! I wish there was a way to get him to understand that.

[angela in ohio]

Hmmm... I voted the latter, but it was close.

 

We had a few days of drama - broken/frozen pipes and then a van that wouldn't start (we'll find out tomorrow what that will cost) - and they were not exactly Christmas-spirit-invoking. We did something for others and also spent time making extended family happy, and so we all ended up feeling pretty Christmas-y, though. :) We got a big surprise gift from my parents (a very, very nice telescope to go with our new clear view of the night sky,) and that definitely made the holiday more enjoyable. We had a very small budget for material gifts, so it was a less stressful Christmas for me (less deciding or shopping.)

[angela in ohio]

I'm just feeling lonely and sad. I had hoped the tension would break. I'm not good at confrontation, so instead we stewed all day.

 

UGH. What a crummy day it was.

 

:grouphug:

[GailV]

We've had Christmas be a complete and total disaster. This one was not, therefore it was good.

 

MIL actually gave my kids gifts that qualified as gifts, not just bizarre stuff she picked up at a realtor's convention. MIL-acting-sane moments send us into the "fantastic" category.

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

Being completely honest... it doesn't get any better. All of my family together at my mom and dad's house. Mom had back surgery only two weeks ago. She decorated her house beautifully and wrapped all her gifts ahead of time. My sisters and I worked together on dinner. The house was gorgeous, the food delicious, the gifts thoughtful, and my family incredible.

[lmrich]

Perfect for the kids and it was a perfect day - warm and they could play outside with thier cousins. Perfect that I got all the food ready early, perfect that I got great pictures, perfect that my family is safe and healthy. My dh is a horrible gift giver and I am actually mad at him for not putting any effort into it. I asked that he supervise the kids to write a story or poem for me (he would never take them shopping and I would treasure these far more than any store bought gift), well the older kids spent no more than two minutes on it, on a sheet of notebook paper torn out of a notebook in sloppy handwriting and pretty pathetic. My son has written better poems about a leaf. I am disappointed that my husband didn't push them to do better, but hey when you ask them to do it at 4:00 on Christmas Eve - thirty minutes before church, what do you expect. My littlest daughter took a lot of time to write a lovely story that reflects what I have taught her this year, something I will cherish.

 

Merry Christmas to everyone! Thanks for giving me the proper place to vent. I feel so horrible to even think the thoughts I just did.

[amyable]

It's hard to answer this - looking back it was a good day, but actually *going through it*, not so much. We had all been pretty sick all week, and dh and three girls were well enough to go to church yesterday. I stayed home with the baby and another dd. I told dh I didn't need anything and only wanted money to give to charity for Christmas. He did that, which is WONDERFUL but a teeny part of me still wishes I got something, LOL. I'm a little strung out from all the stress of these and other things, and a tad disappointed that dh's vacation days were all spent with us sick and nothing got accomplished (we needed to paint, etc). But honestly, the last year or so has been one hard thing after another so this week was nothing new. I'm just kind of glad it's almost over (we still have to travel to MILs for a few days) and I can get back to my normal little life. ;) I like normal, predictable, and boring. :D

[Tammyla]

We had a wonderful Christmas here, a beautiful white Christmas spent with just our family.

Edited December 26, 2008 by Tammyla

[TammyinTN]

We had a great Christmas here...we missed Amber greatly(her first Christmas away from home) but she was safe.

 

This year I didn't want any gifts...my gifts were seeing Amber last month, Jessica coming home and having our family together. We baked, cooked, watched movies and although I did receive some great gifts I didn't expect a thing. I just cherished having my family around and being safe and happy.

[Desert Rat]

My parents behaved and it was like I had my old, nice mom back. That made the day perfect despite any little things that might have happened. It was more than I had hoped for.

[homeschoolin'mygirls]

Ours was very nice.

 

We did Christmas eve dinner with my in laws at their house, and it was simple and pleasant. We shared some of our traditions with them. Some worked and some fell flat but it fun anyways.

 

My girls are older (12 and 15), so this year we did some things different. I gave them money and they filled stockings for us. It was fun seeing what they chose. (Do you think there's a message in the 2 can openers i got)

 

We also kept gifts low key. Dh and I both got small thoughtful gifts from them and funny gifts from each other. And the girls got to do a treasure hunt using Christmas Carol clues to find their big combined gift. We were concerned that they might be too old for the hunt, but they loved it. And giggled and sang in their funniest/worst voices to the present.

 

But what really worked was refusing to get caught up in the Christmas family drama/stress.

I refused(inwardly) to spend the extra time on food to do the German Christmas meal my niece insisted on for our family gathering. We took a lovely layered salad, homemade rolls, and a PB caramel pumpkin roll and called them the German version. And I stayed out of the kitchen at my mils house, where frenzied, frantic efforts were being made in an attempt to produce an authentic German meal. Instead, my girls and I took the younger kids for a walk.

 

We ended the night with a movie together. So, while not the exceptional fireworks kind of Christmas seen in the movies, very memory making and satisfying for us.

 

I would agree with many. It's often about expectations. And, for me, it's about standing firm with my extended family about what I want my Christmas experience to be.

[laughing lioness]

Ours was wonderful. Full of good food, good presents, phone calls to the fam, a fun movie to watch, good books to look forward to, music and everyone home. I want to push pause. Everyone healthy. Everyone happy. Bills paid. The sun is shining. Life is good. Really good.