s/o Were you taught about basic grooming/taking care of your physical body/ physical self care?

[Carrie12345]

7 hours ago, Catwoman said:

I’m surprised to hear how many of your moms weren’t into things like regular manicures and pedicures… and hair coloring and styling… and makeup… and fragrances… and fashion… 🙂  My mom was very glamorous, so all of those things were ingrained into me from as long as I can remember. It was fun! A few of my friends had moms who weren’t interested in those things, and those girls used to go to my mom when they needed beauty or fashion advice. 

My mom wasn’t glamorous OR particularly frumpy... but she was a young adult in the 70s. I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I did not want her fashion sense. 😝 

Iwould like to know why she allowed a child to get braces and a perm the same year she got her period. 13 was pretty rough! 😱 😆 

We had plenty of nail polish around, and I’ve loved a good home manicure for as long as I can remember. I even considered becoming a nail tech at one point. My mother discouraged me from that and I’d still resent her for it if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve since learned I don’t like people and certainly don’t want to touch them.

[Laura Corin]

15 hours ago, regentrude said:

When you said "self care", I envisioned things like: setting boundaries, taking time to be in nature, exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, doing checkups. Those are important.

I could not care less about plucking and pedicures and this type of stuff. Nobody taught me. Nobody even shaved when I grew up. (I learned, when I emigrated here, and was still bowing to peer pressure)

ETA: And yes, belted sanitary napkins was the only thing we had when I started needing them.

Yes: the last thing my mother would have thought to teach me would have been a beauty regime.  It wasn't something she did herself and she didn't value it.  She did, however, give me books called Girls and Sex, and Boys and Sex.  I'm sure they would seem very dated now, but in the 70s they would have been pretty radically frank.  We also had editions of the feminist magazine Spare Rib (still a brilliant title, I think) which had articles about self-examination using a mirror, etc.

I was first given panties that had a little buckle inside the front through which the end of a pad had to be threaded.  I was lucky that I started my periods late (at 16, I think) so lots of friends could give me advice.

ETA: my mother would have considered manicures or pedicures an incredible waste of money (eta or time), apart from the fact that she was in the garden whenever she had a chance with her hands in the soil.  She cut her own hair.

Edited October 26, 2021 by Laura Corin

[cintinative]

17 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

When my mom returned, she gave me a box of belted napkins that she pulled out of the back of the linen closet. Let me repeat that - they were BELTED!! She didn't show me how to use them so I had to read the instructions on the box. Let me repeat - these were belted napkins. Have you ever seen a sanitary napkin belt?  Thank goodness there was a belt in the box and I didn't have to figure out how to assemble one from dental floss.  Belted!  People - this was 1984. Not 1954 or 1964.

My mom did the same thing. It was 1989 or thereabouts. She had a hysterectomy so she didn't use feminine hygiene anymore. I think I looked aghast at her and they went and bought the "modern" kind from the store.  It makes me giggle that she thought those were okay.

Otherwise, though, she sort of showed me basics? My mom was never the type to "do" her nails or fuss over her appearance.  So I didn't learn "hair" or makeup. My mom's hair was so short she couldn't do anything with it (still is), and she always wanted me to cut mine. She never dyed it (still doesn't) and I don't know that she plucked anything.

Edited October 26, 2021 by cintinative

[cintinative]

16 hours ago, regentrude said:

When you said "self care", I envisioned things like: setting boundaries, taking time to be in nature, exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, doing checkups. Those are important.

 

This also. The things the OP is mentioning I guess I would lump under personal hygiene and grooming.  

[Granny_Weatherwax]

And now my inability to speak succinctly and accurately has bitten me in the rear end. I apologize to those of you who are upset about my use of the term 'self care". I didn't mean to upset any one by being imprecise or confusing the situation.

I also didn't mean mani and pedi as being the 'go to the salon and pay lots of money" type. I meant clipping and filing one's nails; possibly adding polish. I didn't have a pedi until I was well into my 40s and only because I was given a gift certificate; a mani came a couple of years later.. My sister, otoh, began getting mani-pedis for high school dances.

Edited October 26, 2021 by Granny_Weatherwax

[HS Mom in NC]

Yes. 

[marbel]

Just now, Granny_Weatherwax said:

And now my inability to speak succinctly and accurately has bitten me in the rear end. I apologize to those of you who are upset about my use of the term 'self care". I didn't mean to upset any one by being imprecise or confuse the situation.

I also didn't mean mani and pedi as being the 'go to the salon and pay lots of money" type. I meant clipping and filing one's nails; possibly adding polish. I didn't have a pedi until I was well into my 40s and only because I was given a gift certificate; a mani came a couple of years later.. My sister, otoh, began getting mani-pedis for high school dances.

Aw, don't feel bad. I don't think anyone was upset. We just don't all think of things the same way. But this place can be a bit brutal in that way and I'm sorry I contributed to making you feel badly!

Funny, when I think of manicure or pedicure, I think of salon visits. I don't think of nail care at home the same way.

I think this was a fun and interesting thread and I'm glad you started it! 

 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

@Garga it looks like we had similar experiences. I, too, never looked quite put together and a bit on the rough side. I hate looking back at old school pictures. There is one in particular where all of the girls are wearing pretty dresses with curled hair and there I am in a t-shirt and green bell bottom jeans with ragged hair and active tears. Why the teacher and photographer allowed me to be in the pic when I was in such obvious distress I will never know. Someone recently posted that pic on FB and my emotional reaction to the pic was intense. Nothing is sacred or can be forgotten anymore. 😞

 

Edited October 26, 2021 by Granny_Weatherwax

[Granny_Weatherwax]

12 hours ago, SKL said:

<snip>.  I have taken both girls for hair and nail services since they enjoy that.  Last Christmas (or was it 2019), I bought them each a teen spa day, which they liked, other than the "extraction" which they didn't know to decline.

I wanted to add that despite lots of preparation and having an older sister already menstruating (and not private about it), my youngest literally screamed when she realized she started her period.  She didn't feel ready for it.  Unfortunately we can't decide that.  😞

 

What is an extraction? I have never had a full spa day and am truly curious.

[gardenmom5]

17 hours ago, Katy said:

I’d call this hygiene and grooming rather than self care.  And yes, I was taught about both. 

When I called my mom at work she shouted that I got my period to her entire office.  I was mortified. Some of those women had boys I went to school with. 

Mom didn’t want me to start shaving or wearing much makeup but stopped discouraging it when friends swimming with us had lots of visible underarm hair. She was very feminist and even though SHE wore fashionable clothing, makeup and epilated her legs, she tried to keep me from doing so, because in her words, “You can not wear that! You look 25 instead of 12!  You’re gorgeous but it’s totally age inappropriate.”

Looking back, I don’t think she knew how to teach me that it was okay to tell off creepy men.  Apparently I made enough faces though, because one of my dad’s friends wrapped an arm around me and immediately removed it and complimented my “GTFO of me face.” Then he went on to explain he’d changed my diapers, he’s just moved away for so long I didn’t remember him. 

I was in my 40s - and had taken my mother to a dr appointment in a *very large* practice.  the waiting room was really big, and a lot of people (maybe 20?).  I was cramping while I waited for her - when she came out, she noticed, and commented in a *VERY LOUD* voice.  gee thanks mom.  And calling her on it, just made her louder and more blunt.

It was my last cycle before I got pg with dudeling - so did helped me "remember" the first day of my last period to figure out due dates.

[Bootsie]

1 hour ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

And now my inability to speak succinctly and accurately has bitten me in the rear end. I apologize to those of you who are upset about my use of the term 'self care". I didn't mean to upset any one by being imprecise or confusing the situation.

I also didn't mean mani and pedi as being the 'go to the salon and pay lots of money" type. I meant clipping and filing one's nails; possibly adding polish. I didn't have a pedi until I was well into my 40s and only because I was given a gift certificate; a mani came a couple of years later.. My sister, otoh, began getting mani-pedis for high school dances.

I inherited my mom's nails that are never long enough or strong enough to need filing or clipping.  Much of what I learned in childhood about personal grooming I have rejected as an adult.  No, I don't need to perm and curl my hair.  No, I don't need to slather cold cream on my face every night.  And, I definitely don't need to powder my bottom with talcum powder.  

[fairfarmhand]

18 hours ago, Pam in CT said:

I truly don't mean to laugh at your misfortune, @Granny_Weatherwax ... but I may be able to top your story.

 

My mom, a teacher, was away for a week at a summer teacher development conference when I, age 11, first had an urgent need for supplies.

As I CERTAINLY was not going to discuss the matter with my father, a man... I went rifling in my own mother's bathroom. And found tampons.  I then retreated with the box to my bathroom -- which I shared with my brother, then a 6 year old boy, for a close reading of the instructions.

The instructions were... opaque.  Oh my word how I wish I had saved them.  The centerpiece of the instructions was a one-legged figure, shown in profile, standing on her (?) single leg in a slight crouch, with a Very Enormous hollow... cavity... where the single leg joined the torso.  Into which, the diagram suggested... opaquely, with dotted lines, an arrow, and a disembodied single hand... the tampon was meant to go.

I studied this carefully.

It didn't seem plausible. Certainly, the parts on the diagram did not correspond, at all, with the parts I had to work with.

I struggled. Mightily. My brother knocked, I barked at him to use the other bathroom, I struggled further. But what was I going to do?  My mother was not due to return for FOUR DAYS.  The cell phone had not yet been invented. I managed, poorly on the first go, better on the second go, and etc.

By the time my mother returned, I was managing fine. 

I told her.

She visibly blanched; she had not expected this, so soon.  However, she was (and remains) a planner; and she brought me to a rarely-used drawer in a never-used-by-me linen closet, and presented to me.... the pads. With the belt.  Which -- I dunno if this was true of your belt,  my belt was in the 1970s -- had METAL BUCKLES.

I blinked.

I believe I literally said, "how are those... better than tampons??"

She blanched.  And said, embarrassed but powering through the moment nonetheless, "tampons are... really meant for older girls, honey."

"WHY?"  (See, she'd taught me, always ask why... which, then as now, in every generation, ALWAYS comes back to bite the mothers...)

She had a reason, sort of -- years later, when I told this story in her presence, tears of laughter rolling down my face, she revealed that HER mother had had some notion about intact hymen or something -- but even in the moment, she was unable to get the words out.

And so tampons it was, and we all lived Happily Ever After.

 

This site.

http://www.mum.org/compbook.htm

 

Has dozens of scans of old booklets and such from a long time ago about menstruation. I wonder if yours is included? I don't have time to look.

[Forget-Me-Not]

My mom was very open about reproductive stuff—not in an icky way, just in a matter-of-fact “this is how stuff works” way. When I started my period, she bought me stick-on pads, because she only had tampons in the house.  I was confused about tampons and was under the impression that the applicator stayed in, so she opened one up and showed me how it worked. I didn’t realize how open and informative she was about everything until I got to be teenage/college age and had friends and roommates who were absolutely clueless about some things.

Apparently my MIL did almost no talking about this stuff at all. One of my SILs told me that she had no idea what was happening when her period started and her older sister had to clue her in. This would have been in the 90s and it is baffling to me. My FIL is a physician and they had six kids. How did these conversations not happen? My kids all asked questions when I was pregnant and we had some pretty frank discussions (which reminds me that I should probably have a discussion with my youngest since that opportunity won’t arise). My DH says he just got into FILs medical books and figured it all out for himself. 

[teachermom2834]

Nothing. Pieced things together from Judy Blume and the little booklets we got in 5th grade at Catholic school. My mom did provide "supplies" but there was no discussion.

Grooming, makeup etc. - Nothing. Stumbled through myself. Was not allowed to wear makeup so my high school years were spent literally sneaking stuff like clear mascara and lip gloss and feeling dirty about it. Because interest in any of that stuff was trashy 😞

I have had to deal with my feelings on this stuff because i do have a daughter now and I didn't want to give her such weird and unnecessary baggage. She wants to talk about everything. All the time. She started dancing when she was young so I had to get over weird associations with makeup for shows and she had to use a tampon really early on. I've really worked hard to not pass on all the weirdness. I'm still not into much grooming. I don't do mani/pedis or pluck my eyebrows out of lack of interest. I do, however, tell her that I'll help her figure out what she wants to learn about. I took her to have her eyebrows waxed because she had a unibrow that was bothering her. I'd never done it because I have very little excess hair. I was happy to do it but I admit I had some weird feelings about it. Like I was encouraging something unsavory. Which is stupid. It's hair. She has alot of hair and she is self conscious about it. She isn't headed down a bad path because she waxes her unibrow! I know as a kid I would have taken a razor to my eyebrows because there was no appropriate avenue for me to figure out how to deal with it and if I had asked my mom for help she would have laughed me off and I would have felt ashamed to care about something so stupid. 

 

[Garga]

15 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

Nothing. Pieced things together from Judy Blume and the little booklets we got in 5th grade at Catholic school. My mom did provide "supplies" but there was no discussion.

Grooming, makeup etc. - Nothing. Stumbled through myself. Was not allowed to wear makeup so my high school years were spent literally sneaking stuff like clear mascara and lip gloss and feeling dirty about it. Because interest in any of that stuff was trashy 😞

I have had to deal with my feelings on this stuff because i do have a daughter now and I didn't want to give her such weird and unnecessary baggage. She wants to talk about everything. All the time. She started dancing when she was young so I had to get over weird associations with makeup for shows and she had to use a tampon really early on. I've really worked hard to not pass on all the weirdness. I'm still not into much grooming. I don't do mani/pedis or pluck my eyebrows out of lack of interest. I do, however, tell her that I'll help her figure out what she wants to learn about. I took her to have her eyebrows waxed because she had a unibrow that was bothering her. I'd never done it because I have very little excess hair. I was happy to do it but I admit I had some weird feelings about it. Like I was encouraging something unsavory. Which is stupid. It's hair. She has alot of hair and she is self conscious about it. She isn't headed down a bad path because she waxes her unibrow! I know as a kid I would have taken a razor to my eyebrows because there was no appropriate avenue for me to figure out how to deal with it and if I had asked my mom for help she would have laughed me off and I would have felt ashamed to care about something so stupid. 

 

You are doing great with your daughter! My mother seemed to have the feelings you do—that basic grooming and making oneself look nice by fixing hair and putting on minimal makeup was unsavory or dirty.  So, those ideas were the family culture and I just looked unkempt much of the time.  

Wanting to wear anything fashionable was especially looked down on.

You are doing so well to recognize the mistakes in your own upbringing and change things for your daughter! Good job!

Edited October 26, 2021 by Garga

[Arcadia]

2 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

I also didn't mean mani and pedi as being the 'go to the salon and pay lots of money" type. I meant clipping and filing one's nails; possibly adding polish. 

That my boys know how to do. My nails were brittle and my cuticles would chap/crack. So they saw how I have to take care of my cuticles, clip my chipped nails, and apply nail hardener. They also know how to apply foot mask and how to use a pumice stone.

Personal grooming and puberty changes were taught starting from 4th grade in health class in elementary school where I am from. We saw the abortion video in 5th grade. 
 

I bought my moisturizers, face soap from Shiseido and Estee Lauder as a school kid so the counter staff was happy to teach me how to do day and night/ballroom makeup and give me a makeover when they had no customers to attend to. They would also give me samples of cosmetics so I didn’t need to buy lipstick or blusher. My main splurges were and still are moisturizers and foundation. 

[Elizabeth86]

Manicures and pedicures? 😂 Not Things I would put into the category of things we should do for ourselves?

[Elizabeth86]

3 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

What is an extraction? I have never had a full spa day and am truly curious.

Really. I’m curious too.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

5 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Manicures and pedicures? 😂 Not Things I would put into the category of things we should do for ourselves?

That's my unclear language. I meant simply cutting, trimming, and filing nails. Everybody does that, don't they?

[Jean in Newcastle]

19 minutes ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

That's my unclear language. I meant simply cutting, trimming, and filing nails. Everybody does that, don't they?

Your language is fine.  Cutting nails is a manicure even if it isn't a professional manicure. 

I remember way back in the dark ages we talked about a lot of these things in Home Ec.  We didn't have "Health" as a separate class way back then.  Girls also learned to walk with a book balanced on our head! 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

re: nails  I didn't know there was a certain way nail files should be used until I happened upon an episode of Regis and Kathy Lee. Regis had broken a nail and it was bothering Kathy Lee. She called for a nail file to fix it and proceeded to educate Regis about the importance of only pulling the file one way (not a sawing motion) to keep the nail strong. I had always sawn (back and forth) when filing.

[Terabith]

27 minutes ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

That's my unclear language. I meant simply cutting, trimming, and filing nails. Everybody does that, don't they?

I probably shouldn't admit this in public, but while I cut my toenails, I don't cut or file my fingernails.  When they get longer than the finger and start irritating me, I bite them off.  I'm not really a nail biter in the classical sense of someone who bites when anxious, but it's just what I've always done.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

Nail trimming (especially toe nails) becomes more important and more problematic as you age.  (I'm talking actual elderly). 

[Melissa Louise]

18 hours ago, Catwoman said:

I’m surprised to hear how many of your moms weren’t into things like regular manicures and pedicures… and hair coloring and styling… and makeup… and fragrances… and fashion… 🙂  My mom was very glamorous, so all of those things were ingrained into me from as long as I can remember. It was fun! A few of my friends had moms who weren’t interested in those things, and those girls used to go to my mom when they needed beauty or fashion advice. 

My mum had her fashion preferences. Frankly, she could glam up with the best of them.

Still, it's not part of the mother-child curriculum - 'must teach child to glam up.'

In fact, lots of our 70's/80's mothers were actively rejecting enforced beauty standards. 

Teaching your child to cut their nails, keep clean and tidy, use appropriate and comfortable sanitary protection...those are parenting tasks. 

Everything else is just preference. 

My kids didn't have to run off to a friend's glamorous  mother to help them remedy my lack of beauty enforcement, btw.

They have YouTube tutorials for that these days. 

[Elizabeth86]

2 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

That's my unclear language. I meant simply cutting, trimming, and filing nails. Everybody does that, don't they?

Oh, I thought you meant actually going for manicures an pedicures.

[Melissa Louise]

1 hour ago, Terabith said:

I probably shouldn't admit this in public, but while I cut my toenails, I don't cut or file my fingernails.  When they get longer than the finger and start irritating me, I bite them off.  I'm not really a nail biter in the classical sense of someone who bites when anxious, but it's just what I've always done.  

I'll bite in an emergency 🙂

Otherwise I cut short with a pair of nail scissors. I don't file. Filing nails is an elective in 'self care', not a core. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

40 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

I'll bite in an emergency 🙂

Otherwise I cut short with a pair of nail scissors. I don't file. Filing nails is an elective in 'self care', not a core. 

What do you do about the sharp edges? Or do you use the scissors to round them? 

[Melissa Louise]

5 minutes ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

What do you do about the sharp edges? Or do you use the scissors to round them? 

I use rounded scissors. 

[mlktwins]

My mom taught me a lot of this stuff.  She would lay my head on her lap and work on shaping my eyebrows with the tweezers when it was time and then taught me how to shape them.  She taught me to shave my legs and advised me not to shave my upper leg.  I finally did at some point -- maybe shouldn't have -- LOL.  Same with pads and tam$*@#.

My mom had a terrible mother and she swore she would be different.  She was my best friend.  I miss her...

[mlktwins]

2 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Nail trimming (especially toe nails) becomes more important and more problematic as you age.  (I'm talking actual elderly). 

WORD!!!  I am having to do this for my dad - fingernails and toenails 🤢!  I don't mind the fingernails.  I do not like doing his toes.  But...I do have him soak his feet to do his nails and then give him a little foot massage with lotion.  He loves it.  I wear gloves for doing the feet 😁!

[MercyA]

4 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

That's my unclear language. 

You're fine. I think most people knew what you meant! Really enjoying this thread, thank you! 

[Kassia]

1 hour ago, mlktwins said:

WORD!!!  I am having to do this for my dad - fingernails and toenails 🤢!  I don't mind the fingernails.  I do not like doing his toes.  But...I do have him soak his feet to do his nails and then give him a little foot massage with lotion.  He loves it.  I wear gloves for doing the feet 😁!

You are a really good daughter.  ❤️  

[MercyA]

I found the Annie period movie! "Growing Up on Broadway." It's actually pretty cute.

 

Edited October 26, 2021 by MercyA

[Corraleno]

7 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

What is an extraction? I have never had a full spa day and am truly curious.

Removing blackheads and pimples

[Catwoman]

4 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

My mum had her fashion preferences. Frankly, she could glam up with the best of them.

Still, it's not part of the mother-child curriculum - 'must teach child to glam up.'

In fact, lots of our 70's/80's mothers were actively rejecting enforced beauty standards. 

Teaching your child to cut their nails, keep clean and tidy, use appropriate and comfortable sanitary protection...those are parenting tasks. 

Everything else is just preference. 

My kids didn't have to run off to a friend's glamorous  mother to help them remedy my lack of beauty enforcement, btw.

They have YouTube tutorials for that these days. 

I never said it was a requirement; I said I was surprised to hear that so many other moms didn't have those interests, and I talked about what my mom did, and how I thought it was fun. 🙂  Also, I was a model in my teens and 20s, so my appearance mattered to me -- I wouldn't have made any money if I didn't look my best. 😉 I taught my nieces and my friends' dds how to do their makeup, too, and I was their free makeup artist for special events like proms and dances. We all really enjoyed it!

Edited October 27, 2021 by Catwoman

[Catwoman]

15 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

My mom wasn’t glamorous OR particularly frumpy... but she was a young adult in the 70s. I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I did not want her fashion sense. 😝 

Iwould like to know why she allowed a child to get braces and a perm the same year she got her period. 13 was pretty rough! 😱 😆 

We had plenty of nail polish around, and I’ve loved a good home manicure for as long as I can remember. I even considered becoming a nail tech at one point. My mother discouraged me from that and I’d still resent her for it if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve since learned I don’t like people and certainly don’t want to touch them.

My mom was a lot older than yours -- she was a young adult in the 40s -- but she always kept up with current fashion, hair styles, and makeup. 🙂 

LOL about getting braces and a perm the same year!!!

[hippymamato3]

6 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

That's my unclear language. I meant simply cutting, trimming, and filing nails. Everybody does that, don't they?

Not really... I don't own a nail file, and my nails tend to break easily so I rarely have to cut them! 

[MercyA]

@Catwoman, I don't suppose you're going to share pics from your modeling years? Those would be so fun to see! 

[Frances]

4 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

Teaching your child to cut their nails, keep clean and tidy, use appropriate and comfortable sanitary protection...those are parenting tasks. 

Everything else is just preference. 

I would agree. This is similar to the level of instruction I received with the addition of dealing with cuticles. While I regularly trim my nails, I can’t remember the last time I did anything with my cuticles or used a nail file. I’m not even sure we have a nail file anymore. But I’m fortunate to have very strong, healthy nails and one of my college friends showed me how to trim my nails so that a file isn’t really necessary. Several years ago I did introduce my mom to hangnail trimmers/clippers and she loved them.

Even at 83, my mom still has a flawless, perfect complexion which I most certainly did not inherit. So she used very minimal make-up, primarily just some occasional lipstick. So I learned nothing about make-up from her and am still pretty clueless, but also don’t have much desire to learn.

[Catwoman]

19 minutes ago, MercyA said:

@Catwoman, I don't suppose you're going to share pics from your modeling years? Those would be so fun to see! 

Nope. 🙂  I have never posted any of them anywhere -- I only saved a few favorites, anyway. I was never one of those people who saved photos of myself. I know that sounds weird, considering I was a model, but I did it because it was a very easy way to make very good money, not because I cared about seeing my own picture. Also, I did a lot more live modeling than photographic modeling, so it's not like there are thousands of photos of me out there somewhere, anyway. 

[MercyA]

7 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

Nope. 🙂  I have never posted any of them anywhere -- I only saved a few favorites, anyway. I was never one of those people who saved photos of myself. I know that sounds weird, considering I was a model, but I did it because it was a very easy way to make very good money, not because I cared about seeing my own picture. Also, I did a lot more live modeling than photographic modeling, so it's not like there are thousands of photos of me out there somewhere, anyway. 

I understand totally! 🙂 

[math teacher]

No, not at all. I learned through reading magazines and maybe books. I remember once lady was buying stuff for her kids' Easter baskets, and was including toothbrushes. I was like, "But don't they already have toothbrushes?" I was at least 16 at the time, because I was working at Wal-Mart. 

[Tree Frog]

8 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

That's my unclear language. I meant simply cutting, trimming, and filing nails. Everybody does that, don't they?

Last year for Christmas I requested a manicure kit, thinking it would be a little travel "book" containing clippers, a scraper thing to get under your nails, and a nail file. Dh didn't know what I was asking for, so he asked dd, the purveyor of all beauty things. She took him to a makeup store like Sephora and they asked the saleslady. I know own a manicure kit containing lotions and oils for my fingernails. It gets confusing quickly!

My mom taught me about periods and sex ed via Dr. Dobson's Preparing for Adolescence. After awhile, I used pads that were meant for belts, but instead came with safety pins. Before that, I just put some toilet paper in my underwear and hoped I wouldn't leak. She didn't teach me any beauty methods. No make up, facial care, nail care, plucking (?!), etc. She has never worn much make up and after I realized my mascara rubbed off on the insides of my glasses and make them dirty and uglier than they already were, I wore even less. I would have liked to wear make up, but I found that glasses complicates things. How do you put on eye shadow that is even on both sides when you need to wear your glasses to see to put it on. Except said glasses get in the way of eye liner and shadow. There are now flip up magnifying glasses, but they don't work with my prescription.  If I have those types of questions, I ask dd who knows all sorts of wonderful things.

[Faith-manor]

My mother never talked about any of it. Just zero help. But, my older female cousin was well informed and we were very close. Her mom, my dad's sister was wonderful about talking about stuff. Aunt L was a life saver. I was also with a group of older teen girls when aunt Flo came the first time, and those girls were very kind and helpful. I never consulted my mother about anything personal. If you ever watched the movie, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" that scene when Tulla's mom comes in on the day of th wedding to tell her, "You have your duties"? That was my mom. Only I didn't say, " Ewww let this be the end of your speech." Instead I said, "Been there. Tamed the stallion, so no need!" She looked entirely mortified, the color drained from her face, and she fled to my great relief. My Aunt L was finishing buttoning my dress in the back and laughed pretty hard.

I was pretty open with my own daughter but also bought her the "Care And Keeping Of You" book from American Girl. She really appreciated the book and especially the instructions and pictures for using tampons.

[Faith-manor]

18 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Nail trimming (especially toe nails) becomes more important and more problematic as you age.  (I'm talking actual elderly). 

Yes it certainly does! I have found out though that there are many medical conditions that Medicare allows for monthly podiatry visits, and the assistant will trim toe nails, etc. They visually inspect the foot and look for signs of circulation issues, cuts that aren't healing etc. My mother in law was starting to insist that dh and I do all her toe care, but on top of everything else we were doing, this was just one more stress. Since she had P.A.D., her vascular doc wrote the prescription, and bam, podiatrist does it now, and she hires my mom who is still a good driver to take her. My mom, type 2 diabetic, also signed up and it was covered.

If your elder is still ambulatory and doesn't have foot health issues just trouble with maintenance, try a cosmetology school. The local one has students needing to get their clinical hours in. It includes a foot soak, sloughing lotion to get off dead skin, a nice mini foot and leg massage, nail trimming, cuticle care. Of course they also include nail painting, but that is something the men folk can skip. The girls have always been gentle. It was $15 for the service.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Faith-manor

[WildflowerMom]

@Pam in CT, you need to write a book.  I was so into your period story!  🤦🏻‍♀️ 🤷🏻‍♀️😆

 

For Sex Ed, my mother read me a book when I was about 5-6 that was a sort of picture book of people and animals having s*x.    I laughed hysterically at the pic of chickens doing it and I think her idea of a gentle intro to sex ed was killed by my requesting the "chicken sex" book over and over again.  I still have that book.   

Regarding shaving my legs: I begged and pleaded.  She kept saying no.  Until one night I begged while my cousin was home (she lived with us then) and my 18yo cousin said 'dear lord, let the girl shave her legs!!!!'  And my mom finally relented.  

I started my period and was given pads.  Then she went straight to my dad to tell him.  I was so mortified.  But she explained that I would probably start having cramps and he'd need to know what was going on.   She was right.  I had endo and yeah, he needed to know.  🤷🏻‍♀️

[WildflowerMom]

@Faith-manor, omg, I'm dying.  'Tamed the stallion' 😆😆😆

[Granny_Weatherwax]

12 hours ago, Catwoman said:

I never said it was a requirement; I said I was surprised to hear that so many other moms didn't have those interests, and I talked about what my mom did, and how I thought it was fun. 🙂  Also, I was a model in my teens and 20s, so my appearance mattered to me -- I wouldn't have made any money if I didn't look my best. 😉 I taught my nieces and my friends' dds how to do their makeup, too, and I was their free makeup artist for special events like proms and dances. We all really enjoyed it!

Oh how fun! Did you do national or local? I bet you had some wonderful experiences. Can you share one or two? No pics, just the fun details of a photo shoot.

I met one of the winners of America's Next Top Model.  She was tall, elegant, and had presence.  I really liked her as she had put finishing her college degree above modeling and was finishing her BA before going back to work.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I feel for those of us who came of age before the internet and youtube. I'm still clueless about many things but it's one of those "You don't know what you don't know" situations.

 

[Faith-manor]

17 minutes ago, WildflowerMom said:

@Faith-manor, omg, I'm dying.  'Tamed the stallion' 😆😆😆

Well, at the time, my relationship with my parents was rather tenuous. I did not subscribe to a lot of their religious beliefs, and I had left home young.

But yes, one of the best memories of my wedding day, was making my mom run from on the room with scrambled brains because her "pure daughter" was a debauched harlot! 😂 Of course, that probably speaks volumes about all the family drama on that day. Dh and I still think we should have eloped, and let everyone figure it out six months later when we sent Christmas cards!