s/o When do we stop being Newbs?

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Or noobs, choose your spelling of choice.  

My oldest is entering 8th, and I still feel like a noob.  I recognize that I do have some experience under my belt, but I don't feel "stable" as a homeschooler- every year is tweaked and (hopefully) improved upon (sometimes significantly, it feels like!).

 

When did you stop feeling like a newbie, and do you have an objective grade level or number of years experience after which you consider another home educator to be seasoned?   

[Pawz4me]

I homeschooled for seven years and never got to the point that I didn't feel like a newbie. But that's my personality.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I wonder if it relates to how quickly a person settles into a routine.  I'm still not settled into a long-term one!  

[Carrie12345]

There was always a part of me that felt a little newb each year, because I was always teaching a new age. This year will be the first time I’ve already done everything from birth to graduation, lol. However, I’ve never graduated my second daughter before, so even that’s new!

I think I felt less newbish somewhere around a year of cyber charter plus 2ish years of homeschool, and less and less each year after.

[Guest]

I would guess it was about three years before I really owned being a homeschooler. It mostly had to do with understanding and developing my philosophy. 

[LMD]

😄

I think, if you're doin it right, you continue to feel the weight of responsibility and try to keep learning as an educating parent. So, never? I frequently joke that I'll have this all down pat just in time to graduate my youngest.

Also, these darn kids keep growing! I feel pretty non-noob for elementary. I feel like a babe abandoned in the woods re highschool (and teens! 😱 I mean, I knew they would grow into teens but now it's here and I'm not ready...)

And, they're all so different! I can't just hand down everything I did with kid 1 to kid 3. They are different, life is different.

"Only entropy comes easy" - Chekhov 

[Momto6inIN]

I think in some ways I'm still a newbie, as this will only be our 8th year. We started when the oldest 5 were 13, 11, 9, 5, and 1 (and youngest 1 was unthinkable at that point 😆). Every year is different and every kid in different and I've grown and evolved as a teacher.

 But in other ways I'm seasoned because I've graduated 2 and successfully navigated the college application and acceptance process and because I have taught all the grades at least twice, some of them 3 or 4 times.

I value many hs'ers opinions, many of them with a varying degree of experience. I wouldn't necessarily call someone a veteran if they hadn't graduated anybody (because seriously that first high schooler feels like fighting a war of self doubt and is-this-good-enough internal battles and you deserve a special recognition title after that) but that doesn't mean they aren't seasoned and their opinion isn't worth hearing.

The people I like to hear from and who I tend to trust - regardless of experience level - are the people who recognize and admit that they don't have it all figured out just yet. I appreciate it when people say things like, "I've found that ..."  or "In my experience ..." and then share rheir wisdom humbly. But if someone insists their way is the best way, even if they've graduated 12 kids, I tune them out.

Edited August 7, 2020 by Momto6inIN

[Jaybee]

Well, seeing as how each one of our six kids took somewhat different schooling paths...  There has always been something new, one way or another--often more substantial than just tweaking. I will say that by the time oldest was about 5th grade (the year I finally found something that seemed to work for him for math), I was pretty comfortable with my style and our philosophy. It is apparently somewhat unique as compared to everybody else's style wherever we were at the time. But it seems to have worked well for us. Others have never seemed very interested--after they asked, and I started explaining, they lost interest because it must not have fit their narratives. But our kids have done well (four are college grads, one has a master's and is working on licensure, another almost done with a master's from an Ivy League; one is in college with a 4.0, and one in high school). and all seem to be lifelong learners, and able to continue to pull out of books and other resources the things they want and need to enrich their lives and skills. 

Edited August 7, 2020 by Jaybee

[sassenach]

I homeschooled the eldest from 4th-7th grade, and then the younger 2 from K-7. I'd say a couple of years after my eldest was done is when I felt not new- so 5 or 6 years in?

[Jaybee]

4 minutes ago, square_25 said:

What’s your style and philosophy? 🙂

Headed to work, so I can't answer fully. Short answer is simplicity, excellence, and considering the child's personal bent.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

This thread has already been helpful.  I am making a mental shift here- I don't consider myself a newbie so much as a homeschooler who is ever-evolving, a lifelong learner myself.  I am comfortable with our schooling philosophy and general direction, and the fact that I'm regularly wildly adjusting our day-to-day has more to do with personality than inexperience.  I can occasionally be intimidated by posters who post about their methods, schedule or routine, because it feels that they have "arrived".  And perhaps some have, but more likely, they are expressing the current iteration of a series of systems that have served over various ages and stages.  It would be interesting to start a thread on homeschool evolution and have people describe their ongoing changes in method or routine to meet various demands of an ever changing family life.  

[Junie]

I think anyone who chooses to do a second year of homeschooling has ceased to be a newbie. :)  So, congratulations to all of you who are gearing up for at least Year 2!

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

3 minutes ago, Jaybee said:

Headed to work, so I can't answer fully. Short answer is simplicity, excellence, and considering the child's personal bent.

 

Words to live by!  

This is my 14th year of homeschooling and I have my first senior.  Yikes!  That alone makes me feel like a newbie.  Especially when you have taught the child since birth, this college admissions process feels like a personal critique of both parent and child for a homeschool mom.  Still, I feel like I ceased to be a newbie when I quit having to decide every year if we were going to continue and just assumed we were continuing unless something big changed (like approaching high school).  If I went by not tweaking and changing then I would still be a newbie...I get bored with the same thing every time I teach a grade.  I don’t know how PS teachers deal with the same curriculum every.single.year.

 

 

[elegantlion]

I think it was about 4-5 years before I determined that I needed to let go of MY expectations of what homeschooling would look like and teach the child I had. that's probably about when I stopped feeling like a newbie. Once we started to work together- my academic standards with his personality- homeschooling worked better. It also made it harder to classify our homeschooling because it was a custom fit package. I always had more time than money, so I had to get creative with the resources I had. That also made it harder to advise other homeschooling parents. 

Every year, however, I'd make grand plans and they'd always change for some reason - usually a life situation. I learned how to be really flexible. 

On this forum, I stopped feeling like a newbie about the time my son graduated high school, lol. That was about 7 years after I started posting. 🧐

[HS Mom in NC]

I think of anyone in the first 3 years of homeschooling as a newbie anyone after10 years as a veteran. I don't consider anyone a homeschooler until they're doing actual regular formal academic subjects like phonics instruction and math. Anything before that is parenting including read alouds, counting to 10, and writing their names. Most parents do that and most parents aren't homeschoolers. And just because a kid picks up reading less formally doesn't really count either or I would be able to honestly say Morgan Freeman helped homeschool me. Lots of GenXers could.

 

[EKS]

I stopped feeling like a newbie after the older one graduated and had gotten into college--that would have been year 12.  At that point, I had taught (or facilitated) all grades K-12 and dealt with the college counselor thing.

But there was also a period before that point where I switched from feeling bound by whatever the resource we were using said to do to just doing whatever I thought was best--including jettisoning the resource if it wasn't working for us.  This occurred when the older one was in 8th and the younger one was in 2nd, seven years into homeschooling.

That said, my kids are very different, and I still struggled with things all the way to the end.  In fact, I'm still struggling now with what to do next year (freshman year during a pandemic), though I guess that struggle falls into the "parenting" category rather than the "homeschooling" one.  Frankly, I can't really tell the difference anymore.

Edited August 7, 2020 by EKS

[mumto2]

For me I started feeling comfortable when both kids had basic math skills and could read well.  Each year, honestly month, was a new experience with my kids so it was always a bit new.

[cintinative]

I have not yet arrived to the "non-newbie" stage, and we are starting year nine. Every year is something new that I have not done previously. 😃

 

 

[cintinative]

3 hours ago, Plum said:

Yes it the ever changing homeschool landscape that keeps it interesting but also starts me on fresh soil every time.
This year I’ll be doing high school classes. Of course I’m questioning everything. Are my courses high school level? Will they enjoy them? I’m not following the traditional path like I did with my oldest. I’m creating all of their courses from scratch. I do have a lot of knowledge and resources to fall back on.
 

So maybe it’s pressure to not screw it up and unease at the thought of entering my final stage of homeschooling. With my younger two so close together in grade, my homeschool high school will all be over practically at the same time. I won’t have time to learn from my mistakes from one to another. 

 

I could have written the same. My oldest is entering 9th grade this year and youngest is entering 8th.  It's very humbling to think of the idea that I don't get a few years to course correct should I completely mess things up. They do very few courses together anymore but I am trying science with both this year (biology). And I am trying really hard to not freak out that in less than four years we will most likely be finding and paying for a college.  Deep breaths . . .

[Ellie]

7 hours ago, Monica_in_Switzerland said:

Or noobs, choose your spelling of choice. 

When did you stop feeling like a newbie, and do you have an objective grade level or number of years experience after which you consider another home educator to be seasoned?   

Never "noob." That is a one-syllable word with no meaning. o_0

Once, when I had been hsing for about six years, I was *not* invited to an information night for those interested in homeschooling, **at my church** because I was a "professional homeschooler." Clearly I had nothing to share with the newbies.

[pitterpatter]

This will be our 9th year homeschooling. Since I have one DD, every year is a new grade for me. The only way I think I would feel less like a newb would be if I had another child coming up through the grades. As that's not happening, I will always feel like newb. Lol.

[Lori D.]

After the first year of homeschooling (grades 1 & 2 for us) which was the scramble of transitioning and figuring out what this homeschooling thing would look like for *us*,  I felt like I had a bit of a handle on things -- although, the elementary years were more of that "evolving homeschooler" mindset as I was also constantly researching to find teaching techniques and materials to find the best fit for dealing with one DS's LDs.

By the middle school years, we really had a great "groove" going -- over the worst of the hump of the LDs, everyone was reading well, thinking well, discussing well, and we all knew what we were doing, and we were all enjoying ourselves.

Then the year DS#1 began 9th grade, I felt like the rug got ripped out from under me and I was starting all over again from scratch, trying to get all the new and extra aspects of high school figured out -- credits and tests and college prep, oh my! 😉 But after that first year of massive amounts of time spent on research and getting a handle on all the new things to be responsible for, it settled down again into the more comfortable "evolving homeschooler" mindset again.

You'd think once you graduate them from homeschool that you get off that merry-go-round of "newbie-ness", but you may be premature about that idea, LOL ... I got thrown back into the "newbie" mindset with DSs AFTER high school. Neither DS had a traditional "go off to 4-year university right after high school graduation" trajectory, so there were several years *after* high school of scrambling and research as they tried to figure out what they wanted to do. And yes, we did loads of career exploration and discussions about future all through high school; it's just that our DSs have always been late-bloomers, plus one is an "off-the-beaten-path" kind of guy, so traditional route and timing was a no-go here... So, if anyone wants to know stuff about: taking a year to work; AmeriCorps; community college-to-university transfer; or returning to college for a second Bachelor's degree, I can help... 😂

Edited August 7, 2020 by Lori D.

[Jaybee]

6 hours ago, square_25 said:

I’d love to hear more if you have time later!

I've been thinking through this all day. I am going to take a day and type some things out, and then I will PM you. I did such a variety of things over the years, but the composite ended up rich and solid. It may be more than you want to hear, lol.

[Paige]

Off the top of my head...I think if you’re talking grades, learning, and navigation, you’re a newbie for each grade until you’ve done it more than once or twice. I don’t feel like a newbie elementary or middle school homeschooler but I’m a newbie HS homeschooler because I’m still figuring that out.

For homeschool lifestyle and daily routines, maybe you quit being a newbie in your 3rd year or so. I don’t think that part takes long to get into a groove and is basically the same every year.

 

[Shoeless]

I don't feel like a noob anymore, although I don't quite feel like a veteran.  Kiddo is about to start grade 6. 

[TomK]

So, if I stop feeling like a newb anytime soon, I should consider the possibility that it's really just the Dunning-Kruger Effect?

Good to know. 😄 

[GoodGrief]

I graduated two homeschoolers from high school (who have since graduated from college), but have been "off" for four years. Suddenly putting together curric for a high school junior and I feel new again. So I don't know.

[frogger]

10 hours ago, square_25 said:

Does tweaking make one a newb? Cause then I’ll always be one!!

 

Yay, if this makes one a newb then I definitly qualify and my kids who've always been homeschooled are 13, 15, 18, and in a couple months 21. Sadly, a lot of milestone birthdays for a Covid year. 

 

On the other hand, I knew I wanted to manage the children's education at the birth of my oldest and for us it never felt like I was a new homeschooler. I read to them from birth and one year led to another and the things we learned were different but the process was the same. 

[MercyA]

After my daughter could read fluently, I think. 🙂  But we've always used the same Language Arts curriculum and have been using the same math for a long time, too, so there is not much tweaking or angst. 

[Shoeless]

9 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

I think of anyone in the first 3 years of homeschooling as a newbie anyone after10 years as a veteran. I don't consider anyone a homeschooler until they're doing actual regular formal academic subjects like phonics instruction and math. Anything before that is parenting including read alouds, counting to 10, and writing their names. Most parents do that and most parents aren't homeschoolers. And just because a kid picks up reading less formally doesn't really count either or I would be able to honestly say Morgan Freeman helped homeschool me. Lots of GenXers could.

 

 

Says you. You can still be an active, involved homeschooling parent if your child is a spontaneous, self-taught reader. 

[rebcoola]

I don't know.  I don't feel like a newb in our 9th year.  I also don't feel like an expert.  

[Mrs. Tharp]

This year, in my 10th year of homeschooling, I've finally realized I feel comfortable giving advice to other people. So, at least in my own mind, lol, I've arrived. So much of the early years of homeschooling were all about dealing with my oldest son's issues with autism: the sensory issues, the EF issues, the social issues, and also trying to move to a community that was a better fit for us. Once all that was sorted, the curriculum/philosophy part got dramatically easier because I finally had a better handle on why something was succeeding or failing.

[Jaybee]

42 minutes ago, WendyAndMilo said:

This does not compute.  

Yes, I was the Queen of Tweaks.

[Lori D.]

1 hour ago, square_25 said:

I tweak so much we haven't used any curriculum for our 2 years of homeschooling... 😉 I'm just now coming around to maybe trying to use other people's stuff, because I'm not in fact an expert in everything. 

Seriously, you're doing great -- I doubt you'll need formal materials until high school. 😉 

[HS Mom in NC]

12 hours ago, MissLemon said:

 

Says you. You can still be an active, involved homeschooling parent if your child is a spontaneous, self-taught reader. 

You've misunderstood. Context matters here.  I'm talking about parents whose kids are only watching educational tv or playing with an educational software as 4-5 year olds, have picked up reading entirely on their own, there's no homeschooling of any kind going on outside of that, but the parent says they're "homeschooling" until their kid starts kindy at ps or private school. That's why I gave the Morgan Freeman example.  Most of GenX watched him do entertaining phonics segments every weekday afternoon on The Electric Company.  Some of us were reading before we started school in part because of that (like I said in my post) but we weren't being homeschooled by him or anyone else.  That's completely different than a parent who is actually homeschooling and incorporating educational tv and software as a part of homeschooling. 

[Clemsondana]

I wonder if some of how people see this comes from previous work experience.  My pre-kid work was in research labs.  Any time you started in a new lab, you'd usually shadow somebody for a day or 2, but were expected to start setting up experiments, often using previously unknown techniques and equipment, within a week.  You asked a lot of questions, and people were usually very helpful.  When my kids were pre-k, I taught 1-2 classes each semester at a community college.  Over those 5 years I taught at 3 different campuses and taught 3 different classes.  I had to learn the procedures at 3 different testing centers and adapt to 2 different grade submission online platforms. 

In other words, constantly learning new things is a part of every job I had for the 10 years before I started homeschooling.  So, other than maybe a 2-4 week adjustment at the start of a new grade (or new era, like middle or high school), similar to any other job I had, I never felt particularly like a newbie.  But, between kids I've certainly had to adapt.  My older started K as a good reader and good at arithmetic.  Kid was easy to teach and liked learning.  There was much adjustment when 2nd started K and actively fought learning (at one time insisting that the letters didn't make the sounds that I was saying they did, for instance).  There were unexpected frustrations to be worked through - older suddenly hitting a math wall at one point, younger outright saying that they didn't want to learn (no matter the format) for several years - but they didn't seem unusual compared to lab jobs where things suddenly quit working or weird problems came up that had to be solved on the fly, or difficult coworkers that had to be worked with. 

Maybe bio lab work was good practice - you expect some experiments to fail, you expect to change gears, and you get used to working with a certain amount of ambiguity where you're moving in a direction but not actually sure what will give you the results that you need.  🙂  

[Soror]

I didn't really feel like a newbie after 2-3 yrs I think. Not that I had everything figured out but I felt fairly settled by then, especially so by year 5. Being here and being able to read and research so many people's experience and advice was a tremendous help in feeling like I had a grasp of things. Now, I've never been able to hs highschool as my soon decided to go to PS (ruining all my best laid plans) so I've not got any experience there as of yet (maybe I'll get to school the younger ones through highschool- I'd like to get to do at least 1 but we are leaving the choice of high school up to them). 

[RootAnn]

I finally felt like I hadn't broken my eldest around the time she was finishing 8th grade, but college scholarships were the frosting on the cupcake. 

I feel like homeschooling goes in waves. These are not in any specific order: Uncertain, steady, bored, burnt out, ambivalent, frustrated, revived, enthusiastic, etc.

Every single kid has had a different path & different methods so I'm never sure of the outcome. I don't consider myself a newbie, but I certainly don't have all the answers, especially for others. My kids are late readers & need a ton of repetition to 'get' something which is different from many on here. The outside classes we've had bad experiences with others have loved. Ones we love, some would not prefer. Different kids, different goals. My family is not like most others on here. We are also a family of late bloomers. I'm starting my 15th year of homeschooling with my 2nd child being a high school senior & my 5th child going into (um? gotta think about this) 5th-ish grade. I am always adapting to each kid & what they need and never know if it is the right thing until 2-3 years in retrospect.

[frogger]

1 hour ago, RootAnn said:

I feel like homeschooling goes in waves. These are not in any specific order: Uncertain, steady, bored, burnt out, ambivalent, frustrated, revived, enthusiastic, etc....

Every single kid has had a different path & different methods so I'm never sure of the outcome. I don't consider myself a newbie, but I certainly don't have all the answers, especially for others....

My family is not like most others on here. We are also a family of late bloomers....

 

You are probably not the only one with late bloomers. I certainly fit in that category. It just doesn't fit into conversations as much as little joey who learned to read by 3. There is nothing wrong with either but there doesn't seem much reason to drop "little Joey learned to read by 8 or 10" into a conversation. 😂

[Loowit]

I think I stopped feeling newbish after I had been homeschooling for about 4 years and finally felt confident enough that I could tweak what we were doing and not worry about it.  The first few years I was always nervous about failure to teach them what they "needed to know". I am not sure that I feel like a veteran yet though even though I have had one child from K-12 and another who will graduate in the spring.  But understanding the laws, expectations, and feeling more confident in my choices make me at least feel like a non-newb.

[RootAnn]

36 minutes ago, frogger said:

You are probably not the only one with late bloomers. I certainly fit in that category. It just doesn't fit into conversations as much as little joey who learned to read by 3. There is nothing wrong with either but there doesn't seem much reason to drop "little Joey learned to read by 8 or 10" into a conversation. 😂

Truth!

I have had one (20%!) who could read on grade level by 1st grade. But we are late bloomers in so many other ways. There are others who have late bloomers; Lori D would probably agree hers were. I try not to compare my kids directly academically because they are like mangoes, bananas, cherries, tomatoes, and a squash. There might be some similarities, but nothing that will help with growing the others except the super basics. Same with comparing my kids to any other homeschoolers or brick-and-mortar kids. Doesn't help.

What was this topic again? Oh yeah, feeling like a newbie. I feel like a newbie always worries about next year and about the end result. Agree? Or is that just life?

The longer I parent, the less I believe I know about raising kids in general. I feel the same with homeschooling. Does that equate with newbie?

[Liz CA]

On 8/7/2020 at 3:00 AM, Monica_in_Switzerland said:

I wonder if it relates to how quickly a person settles into a routine.  I'm still not settled into a long-term one!  

 

I think this is the challenge with home educating. Every year there are new parameters. It is virtually impossible to "settle in." I second-guessed curriculum I used, teaching methods but I also had the flexibility as a homeschooler to adjust when something was clearly not working. I saw this as one of the biggest advantages over the school system. I still never was totally confident to fly solo - we homeschooled all the way to HS graduation under an umbrella school in the area where we lived. I appreciated the quarterly meetings, the exchange of ideas and the support.

[medawyn]

For what it's worth, I don't feel like a newbie, but I do feel like a parent of very young children who is aware of how much things will change over the next 15 years.  I have been on these boards for a decade, even though my oldest is only 7.  I've learned so much from so many posters about life, parenting, and homeschooling, and I feel fairly confident that I'm doing okay synthesizing those things for my personality/our family.  I'm so far from being an expert it's not even funny; I'm not sure I'll ever be an expert, even if I actually manage to graduate all 4 of my kids and send them out well equipped for life in the wide world. But I'm technically three years into this homeschooling gig, and I'm happy with the rhythm we've got.  I don't see any radical changes I would make for my upcoming kiddos, and I'm sure as heck going to end up apologizing to my oldest for all the guinea pigging he gets to do. So, no, I'm not a newbie, but I definitely don't feel equipped to dole out wisdom either.

[SereneHome]

On 8/7/2020 at 6:00 AM, Monica_in_Switzerland said:

I wonder if it relates to how quickly a person settles into a routine.  I'm still not settled into a long-term one!  

I feel like that too.

My oldest is starting 7th grade, so this will be my 7th year. I don't count anything before 1st grade since to me that's just parenting, not homeschooling. I don't feel I am qualified to give any kind of advice beyond a specific curriculum.  i think once I get through 12 yrs and see the "harvest", may be then... For now, I am still in the "planting" stages.

[SereneHome]

On 8/7/2020 at 3:12 PM, Jaybee said:

I've been thinking through this all day. I am going to take a day and type some things out, and then I will PM you. I did such a variety of things over the years, but the composite ended up rich and solid. It may be more than you want to hear, lol.

I would love a PM too, please!!