I look terrible!

[Shellydon]

I look at some recent photos of myself and I look awful!  Really washed out and just blah. Has anyone successfully perked up their appearance in their mid-40s? How did you do it?

 

[Selkie]

I'm 49 and my skin tone improved greatly when I switched to a plant based diet. It's the vegan glow from eating all those vegetables, lol. My dh recently told me that I look very youthful compared to other people my age.

[GinaPagnato]

Healthy diet.

Drink LOTS of water.

Flattering hairstyle that I get cut every 7 weeks or so.

Vitamins/supplements (no idea if this helps my look, but it's part of my self-care regimen).

Good and long enough sleep.

Exercise regularly.

Make-up.

To be fair, I've been doing this for all my adult life for the most part, BUT I have noticed that when I fail to do any of the above (not the vitamin thing), I look rough.

[fairfarmhand]

I’ll also add...cultivate a happy, cheerful thought life. I have a grumpy resting face and I work at smiling and looking happy when resting. I’m going to get wrinkled so they may as well be happy wrinkles.

[Desert Strawberry]

I'm only early 40s, but in the past year, I've really managed to perk up my appearance. 

I went to Sephora, cried a little, and asked for help. A very young girl was super patient and helpful in choosing a good skin care routine and products that work for me. I had neglected myself for so long, and moved to a different climate, I had no idea where to begin. 

I signed up for Ipsy. A monthly box with about 5 new products to try based on my preferences (I make up my eyes and lips, but nothing on my skin). I learned how to use each product. Many were things I didn't even know about. I love highlighter. I never would have tried it if it hadn't come in the mail. I only did it for 3 months, stopped, and used up what I had, learned what I liked and didn't. 

I'm thinking about signing up for another subscription ( maybe birchbox this time) because the subscription is so much cheaper than buying the products outright and I really enjoy receiving surprises. 

I regret cutting my hair, but I am happy that I found a good stylist and learned how to care for my hair in this climate.

Cleaning up my diet, getting a handle on my emotional over-eating, learning about portion sizes, and actually following them has helped my appearance and my health. I have so much more energy, less swelling, less joint pain, fewer injuries, and better mobility. I can be more active with less pain and fatigue. My clothes fit better and I feel better about myself. 

Making sleep a priority might be the biggest thing. I go to bed early. Before my older kids. After having Luna. I lived in constant fatigue and sleep deprivation, first from her needs, and then trying to get some peace and quiet while my kids stayed up later and later. Now we all go to bed earlier, get up at a decent hour, and everyone feels better. 


 

[lmrich]

Vitamin C serum made my face glow. I also started using retinol A and collagen face masks. It is strange to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself. Best of luck. 

[TravelingChris]

I have chronic illnesses that can really affect how I look.  I have now taken to wearing make-up to look better and more alive. I also get a haircut and dye every 6 weeks.  And I usually am wearing mostly colorful clothes which I hope makes people look at that rather than the giant purple blotches on my legs or sometimes arms too.  I also generally pump up myself to be more up for going out too.

[Shellydon]

Thanks ladies!  I am going to sign up for Ipsy and order the Vitamin C serum from Paula's Choice.  I have been trying to lose weight for 2 years, but nothing as worked so far, not ever weight watchers.  I am not technically over weight, but 5 more pounds and I will be.  I need a new hair style, but have no idea what to pick. I do wear makeup, but you can't see it in photos at all,  I think I need a tutorial.

[laundrycrisis]

I started taking a daily scoop of Zint collagen for reasons other than appearance, but I have noticed good changes in my skin and hair since I started it. 

[Katy]

You might also try lifting weights or just doing strength based exercises at home - calisthenics like pushups, situps, lunges, etc that will put on some muscle mass. Adding muscle radically changes hormone profiles (not feminine cycle profiles, but youthful ones, like growth hormone, etc).

[ktgrok]

Hair cut, a bit of sunshine (not tons, not trying to tan, just a bit), mascara and lip gloss. 

Oh, and not much sugar...sugar makes you ugly. True story. If I have a lot of sugar I look like I went on a drinking binge the next day. 

[Paige]

I think my skin looks pretty terrible these days. It's not like when I was younger and it was terrible because of acne, but now it's just sort of gray-pale in an addict kind of way (which I'm not).

I know it's at least partly or primarily because I haven't slept since I was 6 months pregnant and the baby is now 9months. I have dark craters under my eyes. I also haven't exercised much since he's been born, I'm not drinking enough water, and apparently my sugar addiction isn't helping. 

The one thing with the biggest impact on my face is exercise. It's not just muscle tone, but I think it helps with my coloring and and skin tone. If I work out a few days in a row and drink lots of water, I look significantly better. It's hard right now, though. I eat tons of veggies and fruit and I'm sure it doesn't hurt, but I don't see a big difference in my appearance. 

I think I'm also past the age when I can wear no makeup and look great, and I need to keep my hair dyed if I don't want to look like Baby's grandmother. Gray hair does me no favors, but I'm finding that my "natural" color is no longer my best color. I looked a lot better after getting my hair lightened a couple of shades last time I went instead of DIY dyeing it back to my natural color. 

[teachermom2834]

I have spent a ridiculous amount of money in the last couple months on a variety of products from Paula’s Choice. 

I have always been so frugal and low maintenance but I reached a point where I just felt I had to do something. I am seeing an improvement already ?

[Carol in Cal.]

Brighter lipstick!  I don't wear much makeup at all, but as I've gotten older my lips have dulled so I started wearing lipstick most of the time, and as I've gotten duller looking in general, I have switched to somewhat brighter colors.  I use Lancome as it doesn't dry my lips out like other brands.

I bit the bullet and started having my hair colored when it was about 1/4 grey/white.  It has progressed since then, darn it.  I go every 7-8 weeks, and my instructions are that I want to look like I didn't go at all--as natural as possible.  At this point my husband can't even tell when I do this, so I have achieved success.  I make my appointments in 3-5 month blocks so that I never have to worry about getting in at the last minute for the holidays.

Good skin care--I use Jan Marini products on the advice of an esthetician.  They really suit me and unlike most other brands I have never gotten sensitized to them.  In the last few years I have started to use their enzyme system every couple of months, which takes all the dead skin off my face and makes everything look tighter and brighter.  It's a very noticeable improvement.

[Lisa R.]

Teens and women in their 20s can throw on a tee shirt and shorts and look cute. I think after age 40, properly fitted clothing becomes more important. Also, I learned that, in general, it took more effort to look good after I turned 40 than before. 

So If you feel that if this is important to you, realize getting ready and maintaining will take a little more time than in the past. 

I would first look in the closet and get rid of clothes that are baggy or without good shape. When you shop, look for fitted clothes and ones that specifically flatter whatever shape you have. Also, certain colors will brighten the appearance spending in a person’s hair color and skin tone.  

If I had extra money, I would put it towards a stylish haircut you’re able to maintain. 

Also, after age 40, too much make up can age.  There’s a balance between using enough to highlight and brighten and using too much which can be aging. I love make up but less is more as we get older. I think Sephora can help here. It is staffed with young girls that are really familiar with makeup. (Most of them wear a lot of makeup in Sephora around here, but they’re young!) Tell them you’re just looking and needing new products. Tell them you’re age and that you’re looking for subtle and classy. They will try things out on you and give samples. Go home and see what you think and perhaps purchase one item later. You can buy the color eyeshadow they recommend at a discount store/pharmacy as well as mascara. I recommend buying a tinted mousutizer or foundation at Sephora though, if you can. Try out several samples before you buy. 

Do you know a stylish friend? It would be such a compliment to her to ask her for advice.  What makeup does she buy? What style clothes and colors would she suggest for you? Can she recommend a hair stylist?

[G5052]

I'm older than that (some of my agemates are retired, LOL), and I'm regularly mistaken for someone a decade younger. I feel better when I look good, so do it for yourself.

My keys:

• Wear colors. I have a few black tanks, but they wash me out if they are alone. I usually wear jewel tones or muted jewel tones or prints. I have some T-shirts, but primarily for at home. I wear nicer shirts when I'm at all out.
• Get a good haircut. I went to my stylist some months ago and said I wanted something more easy care and young-looking. Now I only need a trim every other month too, so that's a positive. I also color my hair with a golden brown dye because my color faded and the warmth looks better on me. I have about 25% gray.
• When I go out, at a minimum I have foundation, mascara, and lipstick on. I carry lipstick and reapply it.
• Use a good moisturizer. I use a more expensive brand at night (IT cosmetics), and a cheaper one with sunscreen during the day (Neutrogena).  

It's funny what these basics can do. I was having a tough day over family and financial turmoil and went to a doctor appointment and ran into a friend from homeschooling that I hadn't seen in awhile. She kept saying over-and-over how great I looked and how life must be treating me well. I didn't get into my personal problems, but appreciated the feedback. I think a lot of it is that I do take care of myself.

[KrissiK]

 Make-up and a flattering haircut are necessary for women... er.... of a certain age. And good nutrition and all that. 

[ktgrok]

Wearing color does make a big big difference! 

And I can no longer wear mineral makeup, it makes my skin look older. Now I skip foundation and do mascara and lipstick, and I never used to do lipstick. (I get the kind that is two parts..one is a stain that stays on and the other is a gloss, so even when the gloss wears off my lips don't look pale or half undone)

[4Kiddos]

Besides all the healthy things other have mentioned, here is something else to think about. Have you ever done a seasonal color analysis? A few years ago I turned 30 and realized I looked really tired and pale and really blah. All I could think of was that I am too young to be blah! I started doing some Googling and found some great stuff. Anyway, somehow I found out about the seasonal color analysis thing and realized that my wardrobe was almost entirely black which makes me look ashen and miserable. Not my color but I mistakenly thought black was the universally flattering color for women. Anyway, I am a Soft Summer and started slowly replacing my wardrobe with colors that flatter me over the years. I feel prettier and don't look washed out anymore. Ironically I am older and have more kids but I look younger. Here is a free quiz and some color palettes to see if this might help:

http://30somethingurbangirl.com/free-quiz-what-is-your-seasonal-color/

I also found some great things on Youtube. This lady is a lot more fashionable and trendy than I am but I still found her series helpful. It really make me realize that I need a basic wardrobe to put together good outfits.

 

Finally, I really love the makeup tutorials from Lisa Eldridge. They are so pretty and flattering and I love that she shows you had to apply the makeup and is not hung up on what brand the makeup is. She mentions that in a few of her tutorials- just find something similar and do what she does. Here is a good one.

 

Additionally, if you are on a budget, I really like The Ordinary products. They are a good dupe for Paula's Choice.

Hope this helps!

[6packofun]

On 7/17/2018 at 6:24 PM, lmrich said:

Vitamin C serum made my face glow. I also started using retinol A and collagen face masks. It is strange to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself. Best of luck. 

 

I was going to suggest Vitamin C as well.  Drink your water, cleanse gently, exfoliate, moisturize, and Vitamin C!  (Retinol to battle wrinkles if you want.)

[regentrude]

Many middle age and older women I know who look great do that completely without makeup - their glow comes from inside. They are excited about their lives, actively engaged in things they love, and they radiate joy and energy. So, nurturing your spirit is definitely something to add to the list (besides good nutrition, exercise, and enough sleep.)

[Shellydon]

10 hours ago, Lisa R. said:

Teens and women in their 20s can throw on a tee shirt and shorts and look cute. I think after age 40, properly fitted clothing becomes more important. Also, I learned that, in general, it took more effort to look good after I turned 40 than before. 

So If you feel that if this is important to you, realize getting ready and maintaining will take a little more time than in the past. 

I would first look in the closet and get rid of clothes that are baggy or without good shape. When you shop, look for fitted clothes and ones that specifically flatter whatever shape you have. Also, certain colors will brighten the appearance spending in a person’s hair color and skin tone.  

If I had extra money, I would put it towards a stylish haircut you’re able to maintain. 

Also, after age 40, too much make up can age.  There’s a balance between using enough to highlight and brighten and using too much which can be aging. I love make up but less is more as we get older. I think Sephora can help here. It is staffed with young girls that are really familiar with makeup. (Most of them wear a lot of makeup in Sephora around here, but they’re young!) Tell them you’re just looking and needing new products. Tell them you’re age and that you’re looking for subtle and classy. They will try things out on you and give samples. Go home and see what you think and perhaps purchase one item later. You can buy the color eyeshadow they recommend at a discount store/pharmacy as well as mascara. I recommend buying a tinted mousutizer or foundation at Sephora though, if you can. Try out several samples before you buy. 

Do you know a stylish friend? It would be such a compliment to her to ask her for advice.  What makeup does she buy? What style clothes and colors would she suggest for you? Can she recommend a hair stylist?

Good tips, thank you.

[Shellydon]

Looks like I"ll spend Saturday night watching videos and learning new tricks.  ?

[Garga]

nm

[J-rap]

I wear less makeup as I get older, but I accentuate my eyes.  I wear eyeliner on my bottom lid, and subtle mascara.  I'm careful to always wear a moisturizer.  As I get older, it's more important to keep my hair looking nice.  I do highlight it so that my natural colors continue (even though it's now unnatural - ha!).  I wear clothes that fit me well and look classy but not too young.  Mostly, I agree that being a content/happy/positive person inside is what is more important and can shine through anything.

[Shellydon]

8 hours ago, 4Kiddos said:

Besides all the healthy things other have mentioned, here is something else to think about. Have you ever done a seasonal color analysis? A few years ago I turned 30 and realized I looked really tired and pale and really blah. All I could think of was that I am too young to be blah! I started doing some Googling and found some great stuff. Anyway, somehow I found out about the seasonal color analysis thing and realized that my wardrobe was almost entirely black which makes me look ashen and miserable. Not my color but I mistakenly thought black was the universally flattering color for women. Anyway, I am a Soft Summer and started slowly replacing my wardrobe with colors that flatter me over the years. I feel prettier and don't look washed out anymore. Ironically I am older and have more kids but I look younger. Here is a free quiz and some color palettes to see if this might help:

http://30somethingurbangirl.com/free-quiz-what-is-your-seasonal-color/

I also found some great things on Youtube. This lady is a lot more fashionable and trendy than I am but I still found her series helpful. It really make me realize that I need a basic wardrobe to put together good outfits.

 

Finally, I really love the makeup tutorials from Lisa Eldridge. They are so pretty and flattering and I love that she shows you had to apply the makeup and is not hung up on what brand the makeup is. She mentions that in a few of her tutorials- just find something similar and do what she does. Here is a good one.

 

Additionally, if you are on a budget, I really like The Ordinary products. They are a good dupe for Paula's Choice.

Hope this helps!

I love the idea of learning which colors look best on you, but I always get stuck on the questions.  I have no idea what colors look good on me, what celebrity looks like me, what lipstick compliments me... i would need someone to do this for me I think.  I will be watching the videos tonight.

[Paige]

1 hour ago, Shellydon said:

I love the idea of learning which colors look best on you, but I always get stuck on the questions.  I have no idea what colors look good on me, what celebrity looks like me, what lipstick compliments me... i would need someone to do this for me I think.  I will be watching the videos tonight.

I can't do it either. My mom tried to do it with me when I was younger and gave up. I think it means I'm a neutral, but I'm not sure. 

[Shellydon]

9 hours ago, Paige said:

I can't do it either. My mom tried to do it with me when I was younger and gave up. I think it means I'm a neutral, but I'm not sure. 

I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. ? So my undertones, hair and eye color would suggest that I am warm toned and that the colors I wear should be yellow and peach. However, yellow and Peach are the worst colors for me to wear and I always get asked if I'm sick when I wear a yellow shirt. Any tone of yellow.  I get compliments when I wear royal blue, or a brighter blue color, which would indicate cool coloring.  Arg!

[Paige]

You could try this flow chart: https://www.headcovers.com/resources/beauty/how-to-find-your-color-season/

[Katy]

4 hours ago, Shellydon said:

I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. ? So my undertones, hair and eye color would suggest that I am warm toned and that the colors I wear should be yellow and peach. However, yellow and Peach are the worst colors for me to wear and I always get asked if I'm sick when I wear a yellow shirt. Any tone of yellow.  I get compliments when I wear royal blue, or a brighter blue color, which would indicate cool coloring.  Arg!

 

Those seasons don't work for many people.  You can have red hair and green eyes and look great in most of the "winter" colors.  Without getting into private details, someone living in this house has red hair and looks best in  most "winter" colors.  You have to go by what looks good on you, not some stupid season system that doesn't fit many people.

[Stacia]

8 hours ago, Paige said:

You could try this flow chart: https://www.headcovers.com/resources/beauty/how-to-find-your-color-season/

I've never been able to figure out my colors online, but this one worked for me. (I think, lol.) The color family I ended up in does seem to have the colors I look best in. Thanks.

[Ali in OR]

I loved my driver's license photo when I was 40. I hated the one taken at 48. I realized then that I need to wear eyeliner daily to make my eyes stand out more. My lashes are much skimpier than they used to be. As I left homeschooling for a little bit of work last year, I cut a few inches off my long hair, put a little more effort into my hair in the morning, always wore at least eyeliner and mascara if not eye shadow (which looks good but takes a little time), and wear fitted shirts or nicer sweaters, not just long-sleeved tees. Much improved.

I thought the seasons quiz was great. My mom took my sister and I to get our colors done when we were young teens. This quiz came up with a very similar palette (I'm warm spring), but also added information I suspected but wasn't told, like there are autumn colors that are good for me too. I still wear black too, though! It's just too useful and they don't really make basics in navy anymore (like flats and belts). Can't use that as my neutral.

[Melissa in Australia]

On 7/17/2018 at 2:48 AM, Shellydon said:

I look at some recent photos of myself and I look awful!  Really washed out and just blah. Has anyone successfully perked up their appearance in their mid-40s? How did you do it?

 

What I have done is bought some large glittery earrings. I figure people will be so busy looking at the ear rings they will not notice what an old bag I look like. 

 

I  also only look at my face in a makeup mirror. that way I can only see an eye or a nose, not the whole thing

[Rosie_0801]

4 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

What I have done is bought some large glittery earrings. I figure people will be so busy looking at the ear rings they will not notice what an old bag I look like. 

 

I  also only look at my face in a makeup mirror. that way I can only see an eye or a nose, not the whole thing

 

Last time I saw you, you were as cute as ever. I shall have to come and have another look at you some time. ?

 

Seconding what Regentrude said. I have a guardian angel friend at the moment. What a difference that makes.

[KungFuPanda]

On 7/22/2018 at 1:55 PM, Katy said:

 

Those seasons don't work for many people.  You can have red hair and green eyes and look great in most of the "winter" colors.  Without getting into private details, someone living in this house has red hair and looks best in  most "winter" colors.  You have to go by what looks good on you, not some stupid season system that doesn't fit many people.

This world is not set up to make these things easy for redheads. We rarely fall into one category of the season charts and our hair is too much of a defining feature to ignore it in favor of eye color or skin tone. 

[Reefgazer]

Sleep and exercise are miracle drugs.

[6packofun]

On 7/22/2018 at 1:11 PM, Paige said:

You could try this flow chart: https://www.headcovers.com/resources/beauty/how-to-find-your-color-season/

 

That was fun!  Pretty accurate to me, thanks!

[klmama]

5 hours ago, Reefgazer said:

Sleep and exercise are miracle drugs.

This.  Especially the sleep part.  If you don't get enough sleep, you don't feel like exercising. 

[Alicia64]

Watch Dominque Sasche on You Tube. She's an anchor from Houston who shares so much awesome info. She's about 51 or 52 now and looks incredible. I've learned so much from her.

Alley

[Shellydon]

3 hours ago, klmama said:

This.  Especially the sleep part.  If you don't get enough sleep, you don't feel like exercising. 

Yeah--- not happening unfortunately.  I have a teen with anxiety. I'm up with her for 2 to 4 hours every night. Maybe one day.... 

[madteaparty]

I look like hell presently too but of all the things mentioned (vit c/retinoids/sunscreen, sleep, eating fruit etc) one thing I haven’t seen is sheet masks and green or white tea. I don’t do these enough but see a difference when I do. 

[klmama]

7 minutes ago, madteaparty said:

I look like hell presently too but of all the things mentioned (vit c/retinoids/sunscreen, sleep, eating fruit etc) one thing I haven’t seen is sheet masks and green or white tea. I don’t do these enough but see a difference when I do. 

Please explain.  What are these masks??  Drinking the tea or putting it on the face?  What differences do you see?

[madteaparty]

4 minutes ago, klmama said:

Please explain.  What are these masks??  Drinking the tea or putting it on the face?  What differences do you see?

Oh, the tea I drink. I think it de-pufs me as it’s a mild diuretic. I also think it makes my teeth whiter (my dentist disagrees, but agrees my teeth are very white and I don’t use anything else), plus the normal green/white tea benefits.

sheet masks are like a wipe with holes for the eyes and mouth that you put over your face. And sit there a while. There’s many kinds, even target has them now. Funny story, they’re amazing on flights. I once saw an older (70s?) couple that were putting these on each other at the end of a 16 hour flight. Respect. 

[klmama]

Oh, okay.  Thank you!