Ladies only: what, if anything, does Aunt Flow stop you from doing?

[jewellsmommy]

For someone to say "if" I have cramps is so foreign to me. I have to take Advil and Tylenol both, together round the clock or else I'm incapacitated for at least the first 3 days. My cramps are vicious. Are there others out there who actually don't get cramps sometimes? 

 

 

I know exactly what you are saying. From my very first period to now, I have always had intense cramping with lower back pain, and pain that radiates into my thighs. In middle school and High school, I couldn't understand how the other girls didn't seem to have the issues that I did. It was frustrating. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 18ish (confirmed by surgery) that I understood there really was a reason. I still find it surprising that most women just carry on normally because it is just not something I have ever experienced. I could not fathom teA. I will only go out if I have to, but it is really hard on me. 

 

Whether someone has endometriosis or heavy periods or whatnot, it is important to understand that some women truly have a harder time with cramps and other related effects. It is not just you, and it is not because you are wimpy (or any other synonym).

Edited January 12, 2016 by jewellsmommy

[jewellsmommy]

Haven't tried breathing or relaxation exercises (I do take magnesium every night though for help sleeping). My cramps are always like the part of labor where you can't talk or do things other than try to endure the pain. I have wondered how normal this level of pain every period is, but even if it is within the range of normal, it's very difficult to carry on doing regular things. It's like being severely ill and injured for several days a month. Popping 12 Advil and Tylenol a day for 3 - 4 days is all I can do right now. Maybe one day I will find help before menopause.

 

 

You should talk to your doctor about the possibility that you may have endometriosis. This is what cramps are like for me too at least 3/4 of the time.

[freesia]

Nothing. I'm very lucky.

Me neither.

 

Very, very occasionally I have a few cramps--but only in August and only some Augusts.

[Tsuga]

I mean aside from marital relations...

 

Most of us have probably seen the feminine product commercials that all have the message: "Don't let your period stop you from doing what you want" etc. 

 

But in real life, that is hard to do sometimes. Periods can be awful, painful, require bathroom visits that necessitate extra privacy (hard when out and about with young children). 

 

There are times when there are certain outings I just don't want to deal with on day 1 to 3 of menstruation, especially. I am wondering if I am just a wimp or how other gals approach it. 

 

I am very lucky. My period really doesn't stop me from anything except non-marital relations on very heavy days. I do feel tired and I am probably anemic, but I manage just fine. I'm fortunate that this is still predictable and not too bad! Edit: I used to get worse cramps but once I was stuck in a really unsafe area where meds were all Pakistani imitation "drugs" so I had to learn to use mental techniques. Ever since then I only get minor cramps for a short period of time.

Edited January 12, 2016 by Tsuga

[Sneezyone]

Nothing. ETA: I used to have major issues (PCOS related) that laid me low for days but I now have long term BC that works for me.

Edited January 12, 2016 by Sneezyone

[EMS83]

Swimming most of the time.  I also don't like tampons; they irritate me ever since having baby #3.  I also try to be home on certain days (usually 2 or 3 for me).  When the kids were much smaller it did complicate public restrooms a lot.  Now they're big enough to stay by the sinks and make a lot of noise.  And I stick with denim that week, too, just as a precaution.

[Lolly]

Have you tried any breathing or relaxation exercises? For me, at least, cramps are like pre-transition contractions (early labor forever, transition, babies was my formula). They hurt and I have to pause but I can still handle them. I mean, it's not like I'm dying in labor either. It hurts but my brain doesn't shut down just because I have radiating abdominal pain.

 

Or are we talking the cyst bursting black out kind of cramps?

 

ETA - I just remembered that if you're not doing it already, taking plenty of magnesium and exercising definitely changes the severity for me. That could be why mine have been worse lately, I've been slacking on both counts :o

Have tried, but it is worthless. It is more like being in a continual contraction. On the plus side, I thought actual labor was easy. It passed quickly too. It has always been like this. Fortunately, when I was younger, it was only two or three times a year. I was on prescription pain meds from early on. They took a bite out of it, but...I still missed days of school. Exercise? I was pretty much on the extreme side of that. No endometriosis. had that checked out.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It stops me from forgetting to rage against the patriarchy.

 

:lol:

[KungFuPanda]

I vote wimp, but I was in the Army and a period didn't stop/excuse any of us from anything. We did get the 800 mg Motrin if we wanted it. After that, nothing in regular life seems that daunting.

 

 

I am very lucky. My period really doesn't stop me from anything except non-marital relations on very heavy days. I do feel tired and I am probably anemic, but I manage just fine. I'm fortunate that this is still predictable and not too bad! Edit: I used to get worse cramps but once I was stuck in a really unsafe area where meds were all Pakistani imitation "drugs" so I had to learn to use mental techniques. Ever since then I only get minor cramps for a short period of time.

What are these non-marital relations? I'm curious/nosy.

[dirty ethel rackham]

When I was younger, not much, other than the days when the hormonal crazy person took over my brain and it wasn't safe to let me out in public.  These days as I am nearing the end, it can get so heavy that I can't be far from the bathroom.  I have to get up a couple of times at night and I don't sleep well due to dreaming about flooding the bed with blood.  Due to the "rearrangement" of all my pelvic organs (large babies, crappy connective tissue) I can't use a cup.  I can't wear tampons to bed - I wake up in pain.  I have a lot of vaginal pain during that time of the month and I also get rather constipated.  So, I just feel yucky and don't want to go anywhere.  Oh, and the crazy person comes back at very unpredictable times. 

[Spryte]

No periods here now, I had a hyst fairly young (27), but periods didn't stop me from much. I did field work, backpacking in and camping in a tent. I pretty much did it all. But ... I had severe endo, so I did a lot of it on darvocet (the only pain med to which I'm not allergic and I lament the day it became unavailable!). But aside from dealing with the pain, I didn't change much. Swam, lifted, hiked, camped. Gotta say though - my preference is not to camp while menstruating.

[foxbridgeacademy]

Before I had a Thermal Ablation-

on light days I could do most things except swimming, just in case. on heavy days I'd pretty much do nothing, no cooking, no cleaning, sometimes called in to work, barely got off the couch, usually to run to the bathroom, put a real hamper on s*x (no problem for us on other days), costs for super absorbent giant box of tampons was sometimes difficult (we were very strapped back then).

 

Since the Ablation-

For the first 5 years I still had periods but didn't need to use anything more then a super slim liner. In the last 4-5 years I've gotten up to needing 2-3 regular sized tampons per period. So my monthly "flow" no longer causes me any issues. Hardly any cramping or feeling like crap  :hurray: . The only downside is of course no more babies  :crying: . 

[Guest]

Threads like this annoy me and remind me how unfair life is. (LOL)

We clearly aren't raging against patriarchy enough to feel better :rofl:

 

One thing I DO notice is that my PMS is worse seemingly every year when it comes to mood control. I just end up screaming my head off, checking the calendar, and apologizing to everyone. But it always seems to sneak up on me until I'm freaking out over dropped dishes and spilled drink cups, and then it dawns on me I'm probably three days out from menstruation. It's two days of crazy, one day of feeling fine, and then I bleed severely for at least five days.

 

Sucks.

Edited January 13, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Julie Smith]

Well. Not my period, bu before it starts I usually have to deal with Diarrhea. 

 

 

[SKL]

uh oh, I screamed yesterday.  Please no.  :/

[Guest]

I vote wimp, but I was in the Army and a period didn't stop/excuse any of us from anything. We did get the 800 mg Motrin if we wanted it. After that, nothing in regular life seems that daunting.

 

 

 

What are these non-marital relations? I'm curious/nosy.

I believe she phrased it that way because she has a partner vs. a husband. So, instead of marital relations they are non-marital relations.

 

Or, she has a little something something on the side that she's never mentioned.

[Farrar]

The responses on this are interesting.

 

Mine is so uneven - both over time and month to month now. Most months, nothing per se, but I generally let it take me down for a day or two and let dh do all the kid carting around, cook less, just do less. But could I push through? Nearly always. Every once in awhile, a beach or swim thing coincides with my worst day or two, but that's rare - just a couple of times a year on average. I can swim on a light day. But there are times when it does really take me down... and before I had kids, I had horrible cramps. It basically made me crazy. One time it made me start vomiting and not be able to stop without medical intervention. I feel pretty lucky now... both reading these other responses and remembering how bad it used to be.

[wintermom]

I've had my period while on a canoeing and tenting trip, which wasn't too nice as there were no actual campgrounds and there was an increased possibility of visits from bears. Not something I'd want to do again, that's for sure!  Anything else is doable, though I've have the annoyance/embarrassment of a tampon popping out while doing an aquafit class. Yikes! 

[Bluegoat]

I mean aside from marital relations...

 

Most of us have probably seen the feminine product commercials that all have the message: "Don't let your period stop you from doing what you want" etc. 

 

But in real life, that is hard to do sometimes. Periods can be awful, painful, require bathroom visits that necessitate extra privacy (hard when out and about with young children). 

 

There are times when there are certain outings I just don't want to deal with on day 1 to 3 of menstruation, especially. I am wondering if I am just a wimp or how other gals approach it. 

 

You know, this thing about not letting your period stop you bothers me a little.

 

When I was a young teen, when we were getting sex ed information at school, one of the things they talked about around menstruation was how in the bad old days girls were told they couldn't use tampons, couldn't swim or do gym class, and so on.  But now, we knew better.  Girls were as good as boys and shouldn't hesitate to do anything when they were menstruating.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but it really made me feel stressed out - as if there was no way I could get out of things.  I could never use a tampon that wouldn't leak, and so I couldn't really do anything like swimming - I always ended up for things like lessons in our gym class making an excuse, and I felt like a loser.  I also got really horrible cramps at that age, but I didn't feel like I was supposed to be able to do anything about it. 

 

In the end, periods were the major reason I stopped being involved in sports - I was never into really competitive stuff but I did a lot of intramurals and such.  But it was easier to stop than to have to make excuses.

[Shellydon]

Everything. Not really, but it seems like it.  Debilitating cramps, super heavy flow needing a pad change every hour.  No swimming as I cannot use anything internal (nothing works).  I hate it.

[AnnE-girl]

Marital relations, swimming, running on heavy days because tampons are just not comfortable, and feeling like a sane person with any amount of patience. I do get cramps that can make me pause, and a horrible lower backache that radiates down my legs. Occasionally I'll have stomach upset too. It's not fun. My mom would give me a little brandy for the pain and insomnia when I was a teenager. It helped more than regular pain meds.

[Tsuga]

I vote wimp, but I was in the Army and a period didn't stop/excuse any of us from anything. We did get the 800 mg Motrin if we wanted it. After that, nothing in regular life seems that daunting.

 

 

 

What are these non-marital relations? I'm curious/nosy.

 

Marital relations for us were: for him, no sex most of the time--maybe six times in married life. For me, psychological and physically coerced sex. No love. No choices. No oral. No toys. No nothing, really. Married.

 

Luckily for us, the religious, marital relations stopped when our religious marital partners left us.

 

Now we have sex whenever we both want to and however we both want to and it's nothing short of incredible.

 

We'll get married if it will substantially improve the quality of life for the children (tax / dependent changes would change our income to allow a kid to go to a preferred college for example) but until then we are so enjoying the non-marital kind of relations.

[sparrow]

Nothing really. If I have a choice, I'd rather not be vacationing during the first 2 days, but I've done it plenty of times and still had a fine time.  I take ibuprofen and I'm good.

 

 

Depends on the month lately, but there are a few days I don't want to leave the house. I hate having my heaviest days on the day I have long classes at school. 

 

In the past, I've had heavy periods while on vacation (times when I couldn't pick the schedule), business conferences (instead of networking I was running to the bathroom between sessions), and seems like every holiday. 

 

I am so ready to be done with the whole thing, I'm in my latter years with it. Just yesterday my mom (love her!) once again wondered why I was still having my period when she was done when she was about 6 years younger than me. Gee, thanks mom. 

 

 

Yes, I am so ready to be done. My doctor checked my blood work in the fall to see if I was close to starting menopause (I'll be 46 this year). I excitedly asked for my results and received a slight chuckle and "Huh. Not even close".   <_<

[KungFuPanda]

Marital relations for us were: for him, no sex most of the time--maybe six times in married life. For me, psychological and physically coerced sex. No love. No choices. No oral. No toys. No nothing, really. Married.

 

Luckily for us, the religious, marital relations stopped when our religious marital partners left us.

 

Now we have sex whenever we both want to and however we both want to and it's nothing short of incredible.

 

We'll get married if it will substantially improve the quality of life for the children (tax / dependent changes would change our income to allow a kid to go to a preferred college for example) but until then we are so enjoying the non-marital kind of relations.

Um, nope. Sorry. I'm going to need a way more scandalous story than this. My imagination already took off and I demand satisfaction.

[KungFuPanda]

Dp

Edited January 13, 2016 by KungFuPanda

[eternallytired]

1. Going out and about for the first two days. My flow is so heavy on those days that I have to empty my cup at least once an hour, and this is an enormous improvement over pre-cup periods. I even get up in the middle of the night to do it. Hence, I have to stay close to a toilet, and usually I figure it's not worth the stress to travel.

 

This.  I got the cup because I'd go through a super-plus tampon AND a "heavy" pad in an hour on those first couple days.  Now I can at least get an hour...but I avoid anything but brief outings on the first two days if I can help it.  I guess that's better than bad cramps, though, so I'll take it.  I used to get bad cramps occasionally--ones that would not only feel awful but would trigger diarrhea.  That was pretty wretched if they hit unexpectedly while I was out.

[redsquirrel]

Nothing really. I swim, I jog, I do stuff.  Now, will I use it as an excuse? Sometimes, lol.  On the first day or two I sometimes feel low energy and I don't want to workout or whatever, but I could and often I do.  But sometimes I take a knee.

 

I used to have terrible cramps that kept me up at night, I fainted once! But I was told to take two aleve every night in the three days leading up to my period, and they pretty much stopped. I love it!

 

At least once our yearly camping trip was scheduled on the very wrong week!  I went, and I went in the ocean etc, but man.... that was a pain.  Just walking back and forth to the 'real' bathroom etc.  I was not happy...but I survived

[Seeking Squirrels]

I wouldn't say it *stops* me from much, other than swimming and relations. But there are a lot of things I avoid if I can or simply don't make plans to do. I get cramps (it varies how bad they are between just popping an aleve and curled up in bed, usually somewhere in between) with a pretty heavy flow for the first two days, so there's a lot I'd really rather not do. I was on track to be on during a long road trip a few months back. So I went to my doc and got on birth control for a month to force it to reschedule. I don't make big outting or field trip plans for those times. I'd really rather not even have a playdate, since I don't know just how badly I'll feel, but if I do I'd rather my house than somewhere else. I basically don't go out if I don't have to.

Edited January 13, 2016 by Whovian10

[CrispyBiscuit]

Marital relations and exercising on Cycle Day 2 and 3.  I have to take Ibuprofen on these two days for cramps, and it's been this way (having to take meds) for the 28 years Auntie has been paying me visits.  But, mine are always exactly 28 days apart so at least I know when she'll drop in.   

[Desert Strawberry]

If I'm feeling uncomfortable on day 1, I will hang out in my room, rest a lot. But generally, I just soldier on. No cramps. Light flow, no big deal. 

[Desert Strawberry]

I vote wimp, but I was in the Army and a period didn't stop/excuse any of us from anything. We did get the 800 mg Motrin if we wanted it. After that, nothing in regular life seems that daunting.

 

 

 

 

Oh dear me. my period came the first day of boot camp. It was not awesome. A week later, it would have been fine, but we had not yet received our instructions on how to handle things. 

Can I just say, I am glad Navy blue is a DARK color. 

[Frances]

This thread has made me remember why I chose an ablation. 24 hours of very light flow each month...

And reminds me of why I continue to get IUDs even though my husband has a V. No periods ever is worth one day of discomfort every five years.

[heartlikealion]

Since I never started using tampons, it does affect my wardrobe (like I won't want to wear a dress and certain pants even) and desire to leave the house in early stages of it. It is physically painful to stand on a heavy day sometimes. But I don't think I'm the norm. I actually went 21 months without it only to have it return last month. Truly one of the best perks of pregnancy/breastfeeding lol.

[Soror]

I don't usually have cramps these days but my first day of heavy flow I'm not up for much of anything. It just hurts to stand up for any length of time. Someone mentioned leg cramps- I never thought of it that way but it feels similar, hugely uncomfortable. Sitting is better than standing but laying down is best. Thankfully it is just one day and my period itself is only a few days. I don't remember having this issue before my last kid but then again this is the longest I've had not pregnant/nursing since I got pregnant with my first. A couple of months back I was looking up PMDD as my emotions were so extreme and I had wretched cramps- coincidentally or not I started back on my vitamins(especially Omega 3s and b's as they are shown to help with mood) and I didn't feel like killing anyone or going into hiding. 

Also, I wonder how valid it is that many seem to see any lack of normalcy and productivity during one's period as an "excuse" or laziness. Why is this? 

People are jerks. I try not to tell people that I'm taking it easy due to my period b/c people judge.

[The Girls' Mom]

For the worst day or two, being anywhere in which I cannot get to a bathroom every 30 minutes or so.  

 

Physical labor for a day...it causes pain and flooding.

 

Swimming (but mostly because I don't like swimming anyway).

 

Other than that, not much.  That isn't to say that I beg off doing some things that I just don't feel like doing because of it.  I *could* do them if I wanted to deal with it, but I'd rather not.  

[kewb]

I was fortunate that my period never really stopped me from doing anything. I never had can't get out of bed cramps until I was in my 40s. Nor was it ever so heavy I needed to be near a bathroom every hour.Then I had an ablation and life is great.

I don't like to travel when I have my period but I never let it stop me.

I do havr friends who have horrid periods all of their lives and it really does take a toll on their lives.

[shawthorne44]

I went camping once on a heavy day and it was pretty horrible.   We weren't even remote camping.  But, it was for DD's scout troop,

[Carrie12345]

Well, beach stuff, though I don't much want to swim usually I like to sun sometimes.  But on my heavy days, a tampon or cup isn't enough, so I would be hesitant to sit around in a bathing suit.

 

I don't much want to camp under those circumstances either.  I had to sometimes in the army, it sucked.  I had a guy once say he hoped I didn't have my period, because I might attract bears.  I thought - well, what am I going to do about it if I do?  Sleep in a tree?

 

Bears climb trees.  :leaving:

 

What a jerk!

[Janie Grace]

I'm in the vicious cramps and heavy bleeding/anemia category. Advil and Midol around the clock plus a heating pad for Day 2. And I am still close to tears -- it feels at times like the worst part of labor. Day 3 I'm still on meds but I can get out of bed. It takes me a few days after my period to feel like I have any energy back. My doc is investigating possible endometriosis. 

[Carrie12345]

For someone to say "if" I have cramps is so foreign to me. I have to take Advil and Tylenol both, together round the clock or else I'm incapacitated for at least the first 3 days. My cramps are vicious. Are there others out there who actually don't get cramps sometimes? 

 

Rarely, though it's been happening lately.

 

I've been very unpredictable lately. I don't mind tampons, but they wouldn't cut it certain days.  Knowing I can't predict which days that might be, I don't even want to think about swimming.

[heartlikealion]

For someone to say "if" I have cramps is so foreign to me. I have to take Advil and Tylenol both, together round the clock or else I'm incapacitated for at least the first 3 days. My cramps are vicious. Are there others out there who actually don't get cramps sometimes? 

 

Cramps are not a big thing for me usually. My issues seem to be taboo to discuss IRL. Soreness in the crotch area on heavy days. Something you'll never hear on a TV ad lol.

 

[rutheart]

I have PCOS, but we're TTC, so no BCPs to help me (even after 6 years, I can't give up on the dream of another child). I bleed 7-10 days, not including the days of spotting before and after. Half of those days I'm in the bathroom every hour. On the worst day, I'm in the bathroom every 15 minutes. There's no way to leave the house because you can't get anywhere in 15 minutes. I can't sleep through the night, or I wake up in a crime scene. Almost all my pants, skirts, etc are black, so the stains don't show up. My husband is looking forward to menopause, so he can finally see me in other colors. I've cancelled lots of meetings and activities. It's one of the reasons I decided to stay home with the kids. My previous employers did not tolerate the monthly sick days.

On the plus side, when I do get cramps, they're not bad enough by themselves to warrant a change of activities.

Ruth

[OH_Homeschooler]

I've tried BC pills and Mirena but since the amount of flow isn't the problem they weren't very helpful. In fact, when I went on the pill the last time, it was like having the worst PMS all the time. I was so angry, and never in my life did the thought of divorcing my husband pop into my head so frequently. I look back and can't even remember why I ever thought divorce would be a good idea because his "offenses" were so minor. I have mentioned it to doctors and they look sort of bemused, like oh ha ha you poor thing, you have PMS! I'm already on a pretty high dose of antidepressants so I don't know what else I can do, except wait for menopause. 

[Bluegoat]

Bears climb trees.  :leaving:

 

What a jerk!

 

I found when I got to know him better, he was the kind of person who always says the most wrong thing you could think of, just totally clueless.  It could actually be rather funny.

[8circles]

I try not to let it stop me from activities but it sometimes does.  I'm more tired overall and less patient.  (I'm being very kind to myself here :) )

 

But it always stops me from truly relaxing and feeling at ease.  I'm always worried about leakage.

[pinkmint]

You know, this thing about not letting your period stop you bothers me a little.

 

When I was a young teen, when we were getting sex ed information at school, one of the things they talked about around menstruation was how in the bad old days girls were told they couldn't use tampons, couldn't swim or do gym class, and so on.  But now, we knew better.  Girls were as good as boys and shouldn't hesitate to do anything when they were menstruating.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but it really made me feel stressed out - as if there was no way I could get out of things.  I could never use a tampon that wouldn't leak, and so I couldn't really do anything like swimming - I always ended up for things like lessons in our gym class making an excuse, and I felt like a loser.  I also got really horrible cramps at that age, but I didn't feel like I was supposed to be able to do anything about it. 

 

In the end, periods were the major reason I stopped being involved in sports - I was never into really competitive stuff but I did a lot of intramurals and such.  But it was easier to stop than to have to make excuses.

 

 

This is an example of one of my beefs with feminism. What started as the freedom to do certain things has become an expectation. You end up being shamed and scorned to an extent if you want to opt out. Periods is a good example, because some girls/ women have it much worse than others. They feel the difference between being male and female more intensely, but they're made to feel that they're making excuses. Supposedly there is equal respect for choosing to opt in or out of something that was once male dominated, but in real life there's not. When you opt out you're seen as weak. 

[Guest]

Yes freedom has become an expectation. How awful.

[Bluegoat]

Yes freedom has become an expectation. How awful.

 

Like the freedom to say no to the guy holding a gun at you and so be shot, eh?

[Joyofsixreboot]

Nothing. I'm very lucky.

Me too but I wondered if I should say so. I am wondering (at 53 Mon) when it will quit though.

[Guest]

Like the freedom to say no to the guy holding a gun at you and so be shot, eh?

what