I think my kid knows the truth, but geesh I'm not sure

[SparklyUnicorn]

10 year old asked me if I believe there is a Santa.  I said I believe in the magic of Santa.  He said well he isn't sure and that he has a theory.  I said oh what is your theory.  He said he thinks it's that the Mom and Dad get up in the middle of the night and put the presents under the tree.  I said oh well that's a very interesting theory.  He said, but I'm not totally sure.  I really don't have proof.  So then he put out the cookies and milk and a note he wrote to Santa.  He then asked if we could have a DNA test run after to see if it really is Santa. 

 

My older kid said, oh well that won't work because Santa doesn't have DNA.

 

I'm just not ready to tell him!!

 

 

:lol:

[Roadrunner]

Cute!

My kids decided I am Santa's helper, so I buy presents and give it t Santa to deliver. O.k. :)

[Slache]

My husband knew that if he stopped believing in Santa that Santa would stop bringing him gifts so he believed in him until he was 16 and his 9 year old sister told him that Santa wasn't real. He told her not to tell their mom but he was too late.

[Word Nerd]

Just tell him! It's a good thing that he's figured it out.

[texasmama]

:lol:

 

I have a 10 year old, and I'm completely confused as to whether or not she still believes.  There is evidence to support both.  I'm so confused. :lol:

[SparklyUnicorn]

:lol:

 

I have a 10 year old, and I'm completely confused as to whether or not she still believes.  There is evidence to support both.  I'm so confused. :lol:

 

My older kid figured it out much sooner (unfortunately he read it in a book).  He played along anyway. 

[Chrysalis Academy]

This was our first Santa-less Christmas, dd is 9.  She held onto the belief, until last year, against her better judgement. It's kind of bittersweet, but frankly I'm relieved, the whole thing made me uncomfortable. I went along with it because it was a big deal to dh, to let her believe, and he had fun leaving "evidence" around, inside and outside.  But I never really liked it, I am happier with speaking the truth and with letting the kids appreciate the thoughtfulness of the people who chose their gifts for them, rather than being grateful to Santa.

[texasmama]

My older kid figured it out much sooner (unfortunately he read it in a book).  He played along anyway. 

My olders have played along for a long time.  College girl still gets Santa gifts.  

[Ivey]

My 11-year-old says he believes in Santa "just in case".  :001_rolleyes:

[Word Nerd]

My olders have played along for a long time.  College girl still gets Santa gifts.  

 

We got Santa gifts when I was a kid whether we were in on the secret or not.

[SparklyUnicorn]

My olders have played along for a long time.  College girl still gets Santa gifts.  

 

Yeah I suspect he is playing along.

 

My older kid found out much sooner (read it in a book), but he kept playing along. 

[texasmama]

We got Santa gifts when I was a kid whether we were in on the secret or not.

Yeah. You kinda need this or the whole thing falls apart. Lol

[Word Nerd]

Yeah. You kinda need this or the whole thing falls apart. Lol

 

I mean that even after the youngest sibling found out, we still did Santa in a wink-wink kind of way. I don't remember how old I was when my parents stopped doing it, but I think I was in high school.

[texasmama]

My mom still did stockings when I was in college.

[Tsuga]

I will always do stockings and presents, but I was upset when, though I'd figured it out, my mom refused to 'fess up. I wouldn't say I was traumatized but I felt betrayed at the timeS I think you should tell.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I mean that even after the youngest sibling found out, we still did Santa in a wink-wink kind of way. I don't remember how old I was when my parents stopped doing it, but I think I was in high school.

My parents never stopped doing it and still give me stuff to put in everyone's stocking. Christmas never stopped being magical because we all played along.

 

I know my kids know (9, 11, and almost 13), but they still play along. Cookies and milk for Santa, carrots for the reindeer. Last year, youngest DS, 8 at the time, walked in on DH assembling two bikes, the Santa gifts for DD and older DS. He didn't bat an eye on Christmas morning. This year, I'm convinced all three of them saw DD's easel from Santa in our master closet (we have a new kitten who hides in there and they seek him out despite being told to stay out at peril of ruining Christmas, LOL), but no one said a word about it this morning. Honestly though, when you talk to them, they sound like they are 100% convinced it is all real, and they make tons of fake inquiries (like the DNA thing...DS9 asked last night how in the world does Santa eat 5 BILLION COOKIES IN ONE NIGHT?!?! LOL). I think they play the game because it's fun and they want me to enjoy it.

 

Also, I tell them how Santa visited DH and me even before they were born. I did the whole shebang. DH loved it and still does. They know it's magical not just for kids, so they keep up the magic.

Edited December 28, 2015 by Alte Veste Academy

[gardenmom5]

dudeling is on the spectrum.  I had to tell him the truth a few years ago because he was getting so aggitated about "make-believe".  very aggitated.  I did have to have discussions with him about NOT telling other children, and allowing them the fun of santa.

 

since there are 12 years between dudeling and 2ds, I enjoyed the years of not having to hide gifts, and being able to stick them under the tree as they were wrapped.

[RioSamba]

My olders have played along for a long time. College girl still gets Santa gifts.

We say, "If you don't believe, you don't receive," and never have a big, heartbreaking talk. I'm sure my oldest knows, but she enjoys playing along, and partaking in the magic. Middle is still a full believer, but probably not for much longer. Youngest will keep us in magic for many years to come.

[MaeFlowers]

Ds doesn't believe anymore. He quit believing last year but we had a few close calls before then. He was in ps for the first few years. There's always that kid (even in kindergarten) that wants to ruin the fun. Luckily, he didn't believe them and thought they were the ones who were horribly misguided. It's totally selfish but I just wasn't ready to give up Santa when he was 6.

 

By the way, I still get Santa gifts and stockings from my Mom.

[rebcoola]

My kids figured out this year but think its a great worldwide game to play

[ThisIsTheDay]

My oldest figured it out around age ten. The shocker for her came a few minutes later, when she then said, "Wait--there really isn't a Tooth Fairy then either, right?"

 

It was a relief when my youngest found out.  All of his friends knew.  We told him to protect him from embarrassment.  He must have been 11.  He was really ticked, and he shouted at us, "You're not Santa Claus, you're Santa frauds!"  We knew that if he could come up with a response like that, it was past time for him to know, lol.

 

I know this is a personal parenting preference, but I wish we'd never done the whole pretending Santa is real thing.

[Guest]

dS11 knows and speaks freely about knowing, but we still "play" it. He was trying to pull out his loose tooth last night and I said, "Don't pull that out tonight, because Santa and the Tooth Fairy will both be trying to visit and Santa might squish the Tooth Fairy!" He thought that was hilarious.

[Tanaqui]

I know this is a personal parenting preference, but I wish we'd never done the whole pretending Santa is real thing.

 

When you start off, you just don't know if your kid is going to be one of the ones who's going to respond badly when they find out the truth. But it's done, and I'm sure he forgives you... right?

[MrsBasil]

My son is 6 and he figured it out. He'd been putting out feelers, making comments, asking questions that I could answer with," What do you think?" Finally, he asked point blank and I told him. He got very quiet and sadly asked to change the subject. He barely talked about Santa until Christmas Eve.

 

Then he was all gung ho about tracking Santa, leaving out cookies, and getting my to bed so Santa could come. I have no idea if I should play along or not.

 

He's had a tough year for a 6 year old-new house, death of a great grandparent, major health issues for both grandfathers have left them unable to be his buddy in the same way they used to, a close friend moved away, and he had a neighborhood bully to deal with. I kind of want to just let him play pretend....

[displace]

My son is 6 and he figured it out. He'd been putting out feelers, making comments, asking questions that I could answer with," What do you think?" Finally, he asked point blank and I told him. He got very quiet and sadly asked to change the subject. He barely talked about Santa until Christmas Eve.

 

Then he was all gung ho about tracking Santa, leaving out cookies, and getting my to bed so Santa could come. I have no idea if I should play along or not.

 

He's had a tough year for a 6 year old-new house, death of a great grandparent, major health issues for both grandfathers have left them unable to be his buddy in the same way they used to, a close friend moved away, and he had a neighborhood bully to deal with. I kind of want to just let him play pretend....

Tough :(

 

My DS7 yesterday declaired there was no Santa either after figuring out the toys were from us. I felt saddened and unprepared. Strange because when he was younger I didn't push Santa and he didn't believe, then went to public school and started believing.

 

Just so logical so young and that's what happens.

[Elfknitter.#]

10 year old asked me if I believe there is a Santa. I said I believe in the magic of Santa. He said well he isn't sure and that he has a theory. I said oh what is your theory. He said he thinks it's that the Mom and Dad get up in the middle of the night and put the presents under the tree. I said oh well that's a very interesting theory. He said, but I'm not totally sure. I really don't have proof. So then he put out the cookies and milk and a note he wrote to Santa. He then asked if we could have a DNA test run after to see if it really is Santa.

 

My older kid said, oh well that won't work because Santa doesn't have DNA.

 

I'm just not ready to tell him!!

 

 

:lol:

My feeling is you know when best to tell him. If it's now, do it. If you have to wait another year, so be it. Childhood is so fleeting. Unless you have a doubting Thomas, staunch truth only child, don't rush it. I'm certain my yet to proclaim Atheism child who wavers on believing is ready to know. My goal is to have the kids believe that the magic of Santa is what we bring to all humankind. Not sure if we'll get there, but would like to help them along their journey.

[Grover]

I am a little jealous that your kids have believed for so long.  Both of mine were preschoolers when they worked it out.  I might have liked a few more years of "magic". That doesn't stop me going to great lengths to provide "proof" for them... it's all part of the santa game we like to play.  Fortunately both know it is not ok to tell their friends, and both enjoy the game. 

[Sneezyone]

My 11yo declared herself firmly in the skeptic camp this year. I tried to tell her the spirit of Santa is alive and well but she refused to accept that answer. She got a stocking full of coal (candy coal) and a printout of the 'Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause' op Ed. She changed her tune after that and decided to keep her doubts to herself. It's ok to disbelieve. It's not ok to ruin it for DS. We had a great day! My 8yo says the real, real Santa (aka St. nick) is dead but we have lots of living replacements. He believes. Still.

Edited December 26, 2015 by Sneezyone

[Laura Corin]

Hobbes knew about Father Christmas a couple of years before he was ready to let go of the story.  He knew but didn't want to know.  I just let him potter through that stage on his own: I carried on behaving as though FC was real.

[IsabelC]

It's nice to hear somebody saying 'Father Christmas' instead of Santa - I hadn't heard that for many years, but that's what he was called when I was a kid.

[gardenmom5]

 

 

I know this is a personal parenting preference, but I wish we'd never done the whole pretending Santa is real thing.

 

I noticed how serioulsy dudeling was taking santa when he was five - I really backed off.  it was the intensisity you only see in an aspie. kinda scary actually.  I saw bad things coming.  we still did santa, but seriously reduced.  he started saying he knew who santa was by the time he was eight.  then got more and more insistent on knowing the truth. I finally admitted it a couple years ago - though I did have to encourage him to allow other children to believe and have fun.  we still talk about how "pretending" santa can be fun.  and he wants to be helpful.

[Joules]

Ds was a preschooler when he figured it out, asked point-blank, and I wouldn't lie.  I quickly discussed with him "The Secret of Christmas" that he was now privy to and that he should never ever tell anyone else unless he was absolutely sure they knew the secret, too.  It lead to a couple of years of him asking me, "Does X know the Secret?", but he never spoiled it for anyone else.  It was actually quite funny, because he played along with adults discussing Santa and then later would ask me if 50yo Aunt Joy knew the secret  :lol:

[jenn-]

My 3 boys all still believe with zero questioning. This is the year I'm busting that myth. I would love a real wish list from these kids and not just crazy expensive stuff because "Santa can just make it". I'd also like to go to bed at a reasonable hour in Christmas Eve. The older they get, the harder it is to get them to go to sleep.

 

My parents still do Santa presents for each other.

[mom2att]

When you start off, you just don't know if your kid is going to be one of the ones who's going to respond badly when they find out the truth. But it's done, and I'm sure he forgives you... right?

 

For sure you don't. I don't even know what made dh and I get into the whole Santa thing, because neither of us had much of that growing up, but I suspect because it was so much fun, especially for my middle one, who was SO into it.

 

However, this was also the kid who took it very hard when we told him a few years ago. He was 12, so definitely old enough to know. This is the first year, 3 years later, that we've really been able to talk about how hard it was for him. Had I seen that coming, I think I would have toned it down a bit.

 

Pretty sure he's forgiven us, though. And he is my deep thinking kid so we've had plenty of good conversations about other kinds of belief since then.

 

All the same, I do miss the days when they came flying into the living room at o'dark 30 screaming "Santa came!"

[MEmama]

dS11 knows and speaks freely about knowing, but we still "play" it. He was trying to pull out his loose tooth last night and I said, "Don't pull that out tonight, because Santa and the Tooth Fairy will both be trying to visit and Santa might squish the Tooth Fairy!" He thought that was hilarious.

DS lost a tooth on the 22nd. He decided to tempt fate and stick it in his advent calendar instead of his tooth box just to see what would happen. He received both an advent treat and an extra $ amount for the tooth. :)

 

He knows it's us, but still likes to play along. He actually plays with it more now than when he was younger.

[SparklyUnicorn]

My oldest figured it out around age ten. The shocker for her came a few minutes later, when she then said, "Wait--there really isn't a Tooth Fairy then either, right?"

 

It was a relief when my youngest found out.  All of his friends knew.  We told him to protect him from embarrassment.  He must have been 11.  He was really ticked, and he shouted at us, "You're not Santa Claus, you're Santa frauds!"  We knew that if he could come up with a response like that, it was past time for him to know, lol.

 

I know this is a personal parenting preference, but I wish we'd never done the whole pretending Santa is real thing.

 

I'm not really concerned about it. 

 

I don't plan to ever admit it because I believe, as I said, in the magic of Santa Claus.  My parents continued to play along way past us knowing the truth.  What is the actual complaint?  I'd ask my kid that.  I'd say you are mad because your parents engage in a tradition that involves getting gifts?  Come to me when you have a real problem.  LOL

[Haiku]

My kids never believed in Santa. My oldest didn't understand why Santa would brings gifts to American kids but not kids in orphanages in her country. I immediately told her that Santa is not real. My younger kids just never really believed. I didn't encourage them to believe or not believe, they just never really did. My dd-now-13 told me when she was 2 that Santa wasn't real because reindeer can't fly (same kid believed in the Easter bunny, that she would find out what type of fairy she was when she was 9, and that she'd get her Hogwarts letter at 11). 

 

I'm glad we never had to go through the "do they-don't they" period, and I have friends who have had horrible experiences with their kids finding out there's no Santa. I'm glad we didn't have to deal with that. I did have to caution my kids not to ruin it for their cousins, though. My nephew believed until he was 11, and my 5-year-old niece still believes.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I can't even recall when I figured that out.  It definitely was not traumatic because I probably would have remembered that. 

 

All I recall is that the tradition at my grandmother's every year was to have one of the uncles dress up as Santa and pay a visit to all the cousins.  I was the oldest (first born).  I remember noticing that Santa had the same shoes as one of my uncles.  I asked about it.  Maybe it was at that point I knew.  I don't know.  I never told my cousins and we all played along for years.  I think it was pretty cool that they had that tradition.

 

 

[tm919]

My 6 year old has been questioning Santa since she was 2 but she's never said she doesn't believe. I think she just likes to believe, so she does. The 4 year old absolutely believes.

Edited December 26, 2015 by tm919

[Laura Corin]

It's nice to hear somebody saying 'Father Christmas' instead of Santa - I hadn't heard that for many years, but that's what he was called when I was a kid.

 

It was the more common name when I was small too. These days, I think Santa is more common in the UK, but Father Christmas still comes up.

[DawnM]

We have never done Santa.  It makes no sense and I never believed, so I never did it with my kids.

 

My MIL one year SCREAMED at my kids and said, "I feel SORRY for you!  If you don't believe, you get nothing from Santa!!!!!!!"    We never went back for Christmas and never will.

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

We have never done Santa.  It makes no sense and I never believed, so I never did it with my kids.

 

My MIL one year SCREAMED at my kids and said, "I feel SORRY for you!  If you don't believe, you get nothing from Santa!!!!!!!"    We never went back for Christmas and never will.

 

Whoa, that's a bit nuts.

[Night Elf]

We have never done Santa.  It makes no sense and I never believed, so I never did it with my kids.

 

My MIL one year SCREAMED at my kids and said, "I feel SORRY for you!  If you don't believe, you get nothing from Santa!!!!!!!"    We never went back for Christmas and never will.

 

I always wonder about that. If there really was a Santa, wouldn't all the kids, even homeless kids, get toys?

(I didn't read the entire thread so forgive me if this thought has already been mentioned.)

[albeto.]

I always wonder about that. If there really was a Santa, wouldn't all the kids, even homeless kids, get toys?

(I didn't read the entire thread so forgive me if this thought has already been mentioned.)

 

I didn't really use logic when thinking about Santa. I was told, I believed. 

 

But this is the same kind of questions that helped me out of my religious belief. If there really was a Jesus, wouldn't all the xians, even the homeless xians, get their prayers answered? 

[Chris in VA]

I posted before about this, but in our family, we just talked about St. Nicholas. We treated Santa Claus as a fun character and part of American culture.

No angst, and still fun. But you know, everyone gets to do with him what they want, right? So I don't begrudge anyone the whole Santa deal, if that's what they want to do with their kids. It's just easier for us my way.

My son did tell another kid at preschool that St. Nicholas was dead (not Santa, as I previously thought--we cleared that up this weekend when he visited! lol "Mom you always remember the story wrong!"), and the kid told his mom that Santa was dead, and cried and cried...

[KungFuPanda]

I outed Santa for my son when he was 12. He believed. He really WANTED magic to be real. He has very kind friends and very crafty parents so it was easy to keep believing. It was fun while it lasted, but I didn't want him going into his teens still believing. I told him over the summer so he'd have time to get over it before winter rolled around. That worked well for both of us.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I always wonder about that. If there really was a Santa, wouldn't all the kids, even homeless kids, get toys?

(I didn't read the entire thread so forgive me if this thought has already been mentioned.)

 

Although they often do.  There are so many charities that collect gifts or money to give kids gifts.  In other words the tradition is so important people are willing to help others pull it off when they can't.

 

I'm sure some don't get anything still though. 

[Word Nerd]

I'm not really concerned about it.

 

I don't plan to ever admit it because I believe, as I said, in the magic of Santa Claus. My parents continued to play along way past us knowing the truth. What is the actual complaint? I'd ask my kid that. I'd say you are mad because your parents engage in a tradition that involves getting gifts? Come to me when you have a real problem. LOL

I was upset because my parents lied to me despite telling me how important it was not to lie. I got over it, but feeling like I'd been punk'd didn't feel like a minor LOL thing at the time. We never did Santa with our kids, and they get plenty of gifts.

[Catwoman]

My feeling is you know when best to tell him. If it's now, do it. If you have to wait another year, so be it. Childhood is so fleeting. Unless you have a doubting Thomas, staunch truth only child, don't rush it. I'm certain my yet to proclaim Atheism child who wavers on believing is ready to know. My goal is to have the kids believe that the magic of Santa is what we bring to all humankind. Not sure if we'll get there, but would like to help them along their journey.

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

With my own ds, he asked some questions, but I kept giving him the "what do you think" kinds of responses. I know he figured out the truth but it was a gradual progression kind of thing, not a big revelation, and I think that made it no big deal for him. The next year, we still referred to his Christmas list as his Santa list (might have even done that for a few years -- I can't remember!) but it was more of a fun thing than a real thing, if that makes any sense.

 

I think the important thing is to know your own kid. If he is the type who might get upset, make it gradual, not a big announcement. If he's the type who will be proud of himself for figuring it out, that may require a more direct answer from you -- but make sure he won't feel sad once he's over being proud of being right.

[Catwoman]

We have never done Santa. It makes no sense and I never believed, so I never did it with my kids.

 

My MIL one year SCREAMED at my kids and said, "I feel SORRY for you! If you don't believe, you get nothing from Santa!!!!!!!" We never went back for Christmas and never will.

Holy cow. :eek:

 

"All aboard the crazy train. I'm Dawn's MIL and I'll be your conductor."

 

No wonder you never went back for Christmas.