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Chrysalis Academy

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Everything posted by Chrysalis Academy

  1. Thanks for sharing, Melissa. I was particularly struck by this paragraph from the conclusion, which packs a lot of what we've been discussing into a couple of sentences: "Being gender non-conforming, or wishing to opt out of gender altogether, is not only not indicative of mental disorder – it is, in many ways, an entirely rational response to present capitalist reliance on rigid gender norms and roles. However, when multiple medical interventions are required on an otherwise healthy body or doctors are expected to deny the concept of sex or the sexed body, the situation becomes less coherent. The notion of conversion therapy for those seeing themselves as transgender relies on another binary – that of ‘cisgender’ and ‘transgender’ – being set, closed, biologically anchored categories without overlap, rather than a more plausible hypothesis that one's gender identity is flexible, informed by one's culture, personality, personal preferences and social milieu."
  2. I think this is a huge factor, as strong or stronger than social influence. On sexuality as well as gender identity. I don't have a lot of data at my fingertips to back up that opinion, but it's something I mean to research more when I have the time. A google search will bring up a lot of articles on the effects of endocrine disruptors in humans and in other animal species. I can't imagine that it has no impact on the things we've been discussing in this thread.
  3. How do you decide which kids are "actually transgender"? What are the criteria? I mean, it sounds like a lot of folks here don't accept "the kid says they are" as a valid criterion.
  4. Yes. Yes, we tell them that. For years. And then, sometimes, we realize that in a given case, it *isn't* temporary. Or "normal." And so we adjust to the new conditions in which we find ourselves. Again, not trying to suggest that this isn't a normal, temporary condition for most teens. For many it does pass with time and maturity. But just trying to retain space in the conversation for those who don't fit the "normal" pattern.
  5. This. This so much. And I'd like to offer the thought that some of the "late" transitioning that many see as inauthentic/based on peer pressure is actually this: an nb child can feel perfectly comfortable in a body that is not that different in form or function from all/other children's bodies (at least not in any way that kids typically see). Once that body changes, dramatically, in an unwelcome manner, they can become deeply uncomfortable with that body - it no longer feels right to them, because it has changed dramatically. They feel like the same person that they always did, but suddenly their body is completely different. This is a real, authentic experience that some people have. This isn't to say that peer-influenced desire to transition is not real. Just that it isn't the only reason for someone to identify as nb or trans "later" than early childhood.
  6. It doesn't sound stupid at all. We've been struggling with inexplicable chronic illness for 5 years now. When the geneticist finally dxd my kid, I cried. Not just because we finally had an answer, but because he showed a lot of compassion, and seemed to get that what we were going through sucked. Hugs to you. I hope you find answers.
  7. Sorry, a naturopathic doctor, or at least a lyme-literate doctor who understands that mold mycotoxins can have health effects that go beyond straight-up IgE allergies. There are some MDs who do, but in our experience, none who take our insurance! This is a controversial topic in the "straight" medical community, so I don't want to get in the weeds here, but if it's something you want to explore I would recommend this book by Dr. Neil Nathan (MD).
  8. I agree to testing for all that Jean mentioned, as well as mold/mycotoxins. Although in our experience you will need an ND or Lyme-literate doctor for that. Otherwise you will just get an IgE test for mold allergy and be told it's not an issue.
  9. Here is the one we are using: https://www.truehope.com/inositol I know there are other formulations, our ND suggested the one from Xymogen (RelaxMax powder) which contains other amino acids as well. But this formulation is the one that really helped with pain, so we're sticking with it. FWIW, Truehope is a supplement company with a ton of clinical research backing up its products, particularly for mental health support. I'm not shilling for it or anything, but we've tried a lot of supplements and I'm really impressed with this company based on our own experience. So just sharing in case others find that helpful.
  10. Ok, this is kind of weird, and YMMV, but my kid with constant, chronic pain (was diagnosed with fibro, now diagnosed with hypermobile EDS) has recently discovered that inositol helps a lot with pain. They started taking it for ADHD/anxiety type symptoms, as it is meant to help with calm focus without being sedating, but they immediately noticed that it really made a dent in their pain - both joint/muscle/ligament/tendon pain and headache pain related to craniocervical instability. We were really pleasantly surprised. Also cucurmin (in the form of Curaphen Extra Strength) helps somewhat. And for really bad breakthrough pain, 1/2 tablet of Norco so they can get some sleep. ETA: and, hugs. So sorry you are going through this.
  11. @Melissa Louise Maybe I am "vastly under-estimating" the impact. Which is why I asked. Extrapolating from our own experience and our friend group leads me to think it's not a huge issue, but obviously your experience is different. I'm sorry for that, it sounds really awful. I do think it must vary wildly by area. I live in a very queer-friendly area but often in the US news we read of people experiencing the opposite of affirmation. That feels more the norm here than what you are describing in the UK. But again, my personal experience is limited, which is what makes these discussions so valuable.
  12. This is what I wish, too. My kid is over 18, so I'm not having to grapple with this question for a child. At this point, it's their choice, and their dysphoria is significant enough that medical interventions are strongly desired. I would love it if affirmation/support of the gender identity were sufficient, but it isn't.
  13. I am really appreciating this discussion. I have a question, though. I see a lot of gender critical feminists (which is how I would have classified myself a few years ago, fwiw) express a concern about girls being led/pressured into identifying as nb or trans. I'm wondering if, in anyone's experience, this is really a thing. It's certainly not in ours - I would say that my nb kid led/dragged us into an understanding of their identity, rather than the other way around. The same is true of the 3 other (FTM) trans kids I know well. Their families/doctors are supportive, but certainly no one suggested or led them into "choosing" this identity. It came from inside of them. I mean, other than a subsection of instagram/tumblr/tiktok, being nb or trans is not actually an easy, trendy, or glamorous thing, IRL, I don't think. From what I've seen it's usually a gut-wrenching, painful, long, involved process, which includes a ton of soul-searching & self-education, long conversations with family/friends/doctors, and a realization that you may face an incredible amount of discrimination and even violence once you are out/presenting in a manner that is comfortable for you. You risk losing friends, extended family members, having difficulty getting jobs, being called names when you're out in public. It's an incredibly difficult process that takes courage and fortitude. Totally worth it for the kids I know, but not something anyone would take on just to follow a trend. Thoughts? Different experiences? I have found myself worrying about this in the abstract, too, but IRL it doesn't seem to be a real thing, at least among the families of trans kids that I know personally.
  14. I'm hoping another good thing will come out of it: more awareness about post-viral/post-bacterial illness symptoms more generally (i.e. "Post Lyme Disease Syndrome"), and a greater awareness among doctors that just because you don't know what's going on, that isn't a reason to discount the patient's reported symptoms. I read this article in the Wall Street Journal this weekend, and while I'm glad that suffering from this is changing some doctor's perspectives, it also made me just shake my head and think, welcome to the club.
  15. Hugs to you. It's really hard when your kid is out of the box, or off the path. My oldest has been chronically ill for 4 years and at this point is essentially bedridden. It's horrible, you feel sad, guilty, angry, frustrated, exhausted, and despairing much of the time. And judged. You really feel judged. Some of that is self-imposed, some of it is real. One thing I can say is that it's essential to avoid comparing your life, your situation, to other people's lives. Especially the highly curated FB/Instagram versions of their lives. It can be crushing and keep you focused on what you have lost or are missing out on, rather than the life you can create with the situation that you have. Seek out support from people who are gong through things similar to what you are - support groups, friends in similar situations, etc. And consider therapy for yourself, or something else that provides support just for you. One of the pitfalls of parenting or partnering people who are suffering is that you can feel like your own pain, being "less" than theirs, is not worthy of empathy and respect. Try and resist this idea. Yes, it sucks for them. But it sucks for you too. It's ok to feel what you feel. It's valid. I hope you find some relief. Hugs.
  16. The local paper just reported that two classrooms at Maria Carrillo burned.
  17. Yeah, I've been watching Martin Espinosa's live stream from the Press Democrat on Facebook. He just signed off for now but I'm hoping he'll drive over to MC and do another one. They'll upload the video to the press democrat site later, I think. But the livestream is on the PD FB page.
  18. Oh no. I did hear that an outbuilding was lost but the school was ok, but of course it's a rapidly changing situation. The reporter I'm watching hasn't made it to MC yet. He was heading that way when he got diverted to report on all these neighborhood house fires.
  19. I think Austin Creek Elementary school has been affected but that's not confirmed. It's in the Skyhawk neighborhood in SE Santa Rosa
  20. Maria Carrillo high school. The houses that are burning are the ones across Calistoga Road east of Maria Carrillo, the ones that back up to Annandel State Park and the other open space. Houses on Beaumont Way and Vaughn Ct have burned. The Skyhawk community has lost at least a dozen houses too.
  21. It's so horrific that these people who lost everything in the past few years - here, and in Paradise - are going through this again. My heart is breaking for them. And for us all.
  22. The Shady fire is burning the southeastern edges of Santa Rosa. I'm watching footage of houses right across my dd's bf's high school on fire. They evacuated last night. We're north and east of the evacuation zones but watching it closely. From what I can see the main fire action is in the area exactly between where the Tubbs and Nunn fires burned in 2017. Which makes sense. Lots of fuel out there. These neighborhoods are exactly where we've been looking to buy a house. That plan is now off the table.
  23. Yes, it's so interesting - it's all about flame height. One of our mapping experts has produced this really amazing map showing the effect of flame height on different ecosystems. Turns out - unsurprisingly - that low height flame fires improve habitat for most endangered species while high flame height fires destroys it. Mine too!
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