Soror Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Feeling a little out of place these days. I was a self-identified crunchy gal but I'm getting soggier by the minute. I cannot even pinpoint exactly what prompted it, it was so gradual. I think one of the main tipping points was the essential oil bandwagon and the ludicrous claims made by the proponents but that was only one thing. Hanging out here and homeschooling and educating myself have been influential. Seeing other people take views I held to extremes led me to some more questioning. There is a growing number of conversations that are becoming awkward, here's hoping that I have picked my friends well. I guess in a way it should be easier to be more mainstream but not when your social base is not. Anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Well maybe you'll make some new middle of the road, part crunchy part smooth friends? You know, like shop in Krogers and Whole Foods and sorta diversify your social base? I don't think the problem is the essential oils so much as it's the *thought process* behind these bandwagons and you're realizing you're not anyone's lemming anymore, even a crunchy captain's lemming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Well maybe you'll make some new middle of the road, part crunchy part smooth friends? You know, like shop in Krogers and Whole Foods and sorta diversify your social base? I don't think the problem is the essential oils so much as it's the *thought process* behind these bandwagons and you're realizing you're not anyone's lemming anymore, even a crunchy captain's lemming. Its like peanut butter, do they have part crunchy/part smooth :) We are actually involved in activities with a range of people, especially this year as we do more activities. But some of those are more new, whereas my older groups are more crunchy leaning. Thankfully I'm not one who needs a large number of friends, just a few good ones. Its not just health stuff but parenting, politics, etc. There not even all related and not all at the same time. I'm more conservative with parenting than I used to be and even realized, it is interesting when you self-identify one way but then upon comparison realize maybe you don't fit where you thought you did. Maybe it is just part of getting older, when your young you have all these thoughts with little experience but then you become more educated, have more experience and then those previous beliefs and new ones come to meld together and I'm starting to think about where I stand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter's Moon Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I'm working on becoming more grey in my thinking. I'm very much a black/white thinker, but it's never served me well. Being able to look at both sides, as unbiased as possible, has helped me to see the world in a much better light. Of course, I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be. But, it has caused me to change a few of my views. I also struggle with my social base. I tend to just stay quiet, unless asked. I sometimes wonder if they really knew how I thought, they'd drop me. But I recently moved away so it's not as much of an issue. It still bugs me, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I have changed on a lot. I used to do all vaccinations. I do not any longer. I am a creationist now, but did not used to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Somewhat yes. I could say something similar about myself. I was never super crunchy, but I jumped on some of the crunchy bandwagons and now I am pretty sure I'll never do that again. Some stuff that people talk about in that realm make me cringe to be honest. Homeschoolers are a tough bunch. We have the nerve to think we can education our own kids at home. That's where the similarities end though. Homeschoolers seem to be passionate about a lot of things. So I often find I don't have much in common with a lot of them. It's the foot in the door with making friends. Ya know..people will show up to an event because other homeschoolers will be there. But that may or may not lead to something more. Not that I only seek out homeschoolers, but given my schedule and circumstances it's the easiest way to meet people. I haven't had much luck making a ton of friends though. Maybe I'm an odd duck or maybe homeschoolers are all just odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Yes. Life experience taught me that some things aren't as black and white as I once imagined. There is a lot of grey out there and even more space for interpretation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I've become more conservative as time has passed. I haven't really changed my beliefs... but I suppose I've become more outspoken about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azalea Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Yes, I have changed my views on many things over the years. For many years it felt almost painful, I was changing so quickly.I would rarely assert anything with absolute confidence as that felt like a foolish thing to do. At 50, the rate of change has slowed, I'm pretty sure about the core ideas in my life. I find it fascinating watching people change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I have changed my views on salvation. If you don't think that's big.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Yes, I have. I am embracing the process and actually enjoying it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Anyone who hasn't changed their stance on some key things in their life is not someone I would want to know. Most of my friends are part-time crunchy - gentle discipline, liberal leaning, organic types, etc. But they're not all the same on parenting type issues like homebirth or hospital or food issues like paleo or not or political issues like specific foreign policies or government programs. And yet we all get along fine. I sympathize about the things in liberalism that have gone too far... I feel very frustrated by people on both sides of the divide who don't believe in science. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dicentra Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I said this to DH the other day: I hope that I'm never so taken-up with a cause, philosophy, or belief that I'm unwilling or unable to read, research, and consider the alternatives. Intellectual inbreeding never turns out well. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Well I used to think stay at home moms were wasting their college education, way back pre-kids. HA! Other than that- politically, I haven't really changed, but I've become more wary of the influence of money in politics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I haven't changed my views so much but I really try to watch tone. "Tone matters." Stridency gains no friends, even if I *might* agree with you a little bit, if you start screeching in my ear and saying how horrible everyone else on the other side is, well, we're just not going to have a conversation or a mutual fan club about this. I can only get so worked up about what my nieces/nephews eat for lunch and the common core math that their Christian private school is using, because I'm busy with my own kids and I like my SILs (rabbit trail! Lol). I'm just happy to keep my mouth shut, look wide-eyed at person raging on a topic and enjoy my moderate tone. I worked in Washington, DC in my 20s, on a fairly controversial topic, and it did me a world of good to see the crazies on both sides. You really don't win friends and influence people my being unpleasant and ridiculously opinionated. In fact, you just get relegated to the back row. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Anyone who hasn't changed their stance on some key things in their life is not someone I would want to know. Most of my friends are part-time crunchy - gentle discipline, liberal leaning, organic types, etc. But they're not all the same on parenting type issues like homebirth or hospital or food issues like paleo or not or political issues like specific foreign policies or government programs. And yet we all get along fine. I sympathize about the things in liberalism that have gone too far... I feel very frustrated by people on both sides of the divide who don't believe in science. Here, here! Part-time crunchy. To me it is also a big amount of humility, of course I have been wrong at times and will continue to be wrong in the future. Yet again, we're doing the best we can in the moment. I also have little patience with the idea of following any extremist ideology in everything, the chance that anyone/group is right about everything is a little arrogant/insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 I said this to DH the other day: I hope that I'm never so taken-up with a cause, philosophy, or belief that I'm unwilling or unable to read, research, and consider the alternatives. Intellectual inbreeding never turns out well. :) Oh, I like that one, intellectual inbreeding. Yes, it is good to be willing to consider the other side, of any issue. It is easier just to decide one is right and discount the other side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Anyone who hasn't changed their stance on some key things in their life is not someone I would want to know. Most of my friends are part-time crunchy - gentle discipline, liberal leaning, organic types, etc. But they're not all the same on parenting type issues like homebirth or hospital or food issues like paleo or not or political issues like specific foreign policies or government programs. And yet we all get along fine. I sympathize about the things in liberalism that have gone too far... I feel very frustrated by people on both sides of the divide who don't believe in science. Well either that or I'd be jealous they already figured everything out. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Yes, I have changed my opinion on many significant topics over time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 hmmm....absolutely. I was raised in a very very very conservative Christian family...you know, skirt wearing, KJV only, no music other than Christian (and even some Christian music was too "worldly") I could go on. Currently, I'm none of the above. I also don't believe the death penalty is something that Jesus would advocate for. Don't know that I'd go so far as to say I'm anti-death penalty, but I don't stand behind it either. I listen to NPR, hate FOX news, read the ESV Bible, and have changed a whole host of my other opinions and ideals over time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I have changed A LOT. I was brought up by a very liberal mother and had extremely liberal views. When I went to work in a large hotel and met many of America's most prominent liberals I changed my thinking fast. I just can't depend on those people to manage real social change. BTW, I have a very funny Bill Clinton story, but I won't share online, anyone I meet in person can ask, lol. I am still changing. I try not to get worked up by political things anymore, but it's hard. My mother and some of her relatives care sooo much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhanaBee Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I've changed my ways of thinking about a number of topics. I've also learned to keep my mouth shut, as I find myself too Liberal for some and too Conservative for others. What worries me the most is that I've watched my parents and my in-laws become progressively hard-core about their beliefs over the past 10 years. While I agree with them on some points, they leave NO room for others' opinions. To me, it's key to be able to say, "I believe this.....but I accept that my experiences and life have led me in this direction, and it may be totally different for someone else." I've learned the hard way not to try and present the other side to my Mom when she's on a full-blown rant [which is often]. I pray the day never comes when I'm not willing to listen to another viewpoint! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Sure, I used to think homeschooling was horrible and damaging to children, and that they were never socialized properly. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 oh yes, I've definitely changed my views on several topics. Some issues are not really that essential to a friendship (like becoming anti-death penalty). I'm not nearly the hawk I used to be in my younger years, but I usually avoid political disucssions if I can. But, I did completely change my Christian tradition away from Protestantism. That's a little hard. Some friends really don't care, but others do. It's an important part of who they are as it is mine, and we're so different, that it's hard to overcome. Most of them I wasn't real close to anyway, and a couple of friends moved away right around the time I moved away theologically from Protesantism. But, I did make new friends within my tradition. I also don't need a ton of friends, but I do like to have a diverse group of them. I think it keeps me thinking about what I believe and also helps me to be respectful of their beliefs too. But, of course, not everyone thinks that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I've changed my ways of thinking about a number of topics. I've also learned to keep my mouth shut, as I find myself too Liberal for some and too Conservative for others. What worries me the most is that I've watched my parents and my in-laws become progressively hard-core about their beliefs over the past 10 years. While I agree with them on some points, they leave NO room for others' opinions. To me, it's key to be able to say, "I believe this.....but I accept that my experiences and life have led me in this direction, and it may be totally different for someone else." I've learned the hard way not to try and present the other side to my Mom when she's on a full-blown rant [which is often]. I pray the day never comes when I'm not willing to listen to another viewpoint! I've come to realize recently that is the key difference between my family and those who I consider as close as family. I have changed position on several issues and may very well change on more before I reach the half century mark. That's because I am willing to consider that I might not be right. I am willing to look at new ideas, other's experience, new information. My family, not so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I have gone through some major changes at different times in my life. The first major change was in my late 20s, early 30s. I was a new parent and trying to find my own way. Then around 41 to 45, I went through some other major changes. This time the death of my mom and caring for my dad until his death pushed me into facing some very uncomfortable, big questions I had been ignoring. If I live long enough, there might be other changes. One thing that has really struck me in the last 10 years or so is how little I knew about the other side, other viewpoints. I'm still a work in progress, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Yes, similar to you. Used to be more liberal, more environmentalist. Started changing when I was interning for a senator while in college, and realized people cared much more about party politics and power than in doing what was right. I later realized that a lot of laws I previously thought were very good ideas had a lot of unintended consequences. Now I'm pragmatically libertarian. Most of my friends are either crunchy or VERY socially conservative, so I don't really discuss politics with my friends. At least not most of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 In recent years, not really. I have changed my views on a number of topics over the years. To me politics and religion are the Big Things when it comes to viewpoints. I've always been politically liberal and that hasn't changed as I grew older. I was once a believer in a deity and now I'm not. That's probably the biggest change I've had. I've changed my mind on smaller things as scientists have learned things and made that knowledge public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Well, my parents fit in as typical Republicans and dh's are typical Democrats. I'm more liberal than my parents and he's more conservative than his. I used to think our beliefs needed to line up but that just doesn't fit us, we have interesting conversations sometimes :) We do agree about a lot, like the values for our family and how you treat one another and voting wise we end up voting similar as the larger political world doesn't really fit either of us too well. I'm a bit raging liberal on some issues, straight conservative on some and a bit moderate here and there. It is funny when the kids were small I thought of myself as a more liberal parent and I'm sure I would be identified as such but that is just becoming less and less true as the kids get older. I don't know why but it strikes me as a bit amusing. Dh and I have had a few parenting conversations in the last year or so where we realized that our views actually fit in the more with those we would consider strict. It was quite funny when someone we knew went on about those loosey goosey parents that don't spank (us) and then proceed to allow and condone behavior that would never fly in our house. I really wanted to say something at the time but it seemed a bit smug. However, I allow my kids a lot more independence and choices than many even though we seem to have higher expectations than a lot (somewhat to our surprise really). It kind of reminds me of the academic push in younger grades, we're pushing earlier and earlier these days but my middle school we stop and the US grows behind. Similarly in parenting there are these expectations for babies and toddlers that are in no way developmentally appropriate but then kids get to grade and middle school and parents seem to stop trying. re: TV: LOL, I've actually had a couple of swings (and I might have a few more by the time the kids get grown) I think most all of us want to belong somewhere and it can be a bit disconcerting when we don't fit anywhere, even more so when we don't know ourselves. Sometimes it is just hard to be objective about oneself. It really does help to read this board because I can see people posting similar actions or views to my own and then I can examine it a bit from the outside. Sometimes I like what I see and other times I realize that I need an adjustment of some kind. It is good as well to remember on here that there are real life people behind various views and most people do have good intentions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 If beliefs and opinions make a person who they are, then I'm not even the same person I was 20 years ago. What's great about though is I was never comfortable in that skin. It was always a force. I feel much more comfort, peace, and ease in who I am now. Such a relief. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I've changed a ton and in many ways will probably keep changing as I age. I was raised Democrat. I'm now Republican, but mainly because I vote for what is best for our business as there are certainly some areas where I agree with the Dems more. I guess that makes me moderate? I was raised that church wasn't a big deal. Neither parent went in my youth and for the most part, they still don't. My mom is agnostic. I have become a solid Christian (and don't expect that to change). I was raised eating white bread and typical American foods. Now I don't care for white bread and try to incorporate healthier foods, but not all the time. I still enjoy some junk without regrets. I was raised without any knowledge of being green or taking care of our planet. I've changed a ton on that. I was raised having camped only once in my life. Now we love tent camping and have done it in many states and provinces. I was raised thinking everyone was out to get us (my dad is a bit paranoid). I now know very few actually care about the individual - and certainly not the gov't. I was raised with the belief that the body will take care of itself (barring accidents). I might be changing that view a little based upon experience. Some things that haven't changed? I still love the great outdoors. I've been that way since I could remember. I still love travel and exploring. I still believe in live and let live - my choices are mine and don't have to be held by anyone I'm friends with. And I don't care if others like/dislike the way I dress or what I choose to do. If they aren't ok with it, that's their problem, not mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Yes, on the following: Vaccines Use (and abuse) of social welfare systems Universal health care The actual stats regarding homeschooling "success" Religion Marriage SAH mothering, and I guess WOH mothering therefore I was, for a minute, an ethical and health vegetatian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I used to be very pagan, an evolutionist, pro choice, extremely liberal, village to raise a child. Now I'm an evangelical Christian, YEC, pro life, tea party, the village is crazy. I've always been free spirited, direct, and earthy. If your views haven't changed it means you don't think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaConquest Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 What's the adage? "If you're not a liberal in your 20s, you have no heart. If you're not conservative in your 50s, you have no brain." Something to that effect... I must be completely up a creek because I have definitely softened as I've gotten older. I was a Randian-inspired, Chicago-school, fiscal conservative in my youth. I've never been a social conservative, but I have moderated in my support for hard-line, ra-ra Capitalism policies. I always believed that, if you worked hard enough, it didn't matter where you started. You could always achieve your American dream with enough perseverance. I did eventually achieved my dream with enough grit, which should have just reaffirmed my belief in the American dream. But, when I arrived at my destination, I realized that I was surrounded by so many others who had pretty much been handed my dream from birth. I began to really understand the inequalities in our society -- how easily money and power could buy you more money and power, and maintain the status quo. And the exclusive club that I had joined lost a lot of its luster for me. It no longer seemed worth the sacrifices I had made, especially vis a vis my mental health. Not sure if any of that is making sense. So, I wouldn't consider myself a liberal by any means, but I am more inclined to support programs that seek to level the playing field a bit. Again, it's hard for me to say that because I feel that people who have worked hard shouldn't be penalized for their achievements. The word redistribution still makes me cringe. But, I am more likely to recognize that economic, racial, and gender inequality are real, and are not necessarily the result of personal choices. You know? It's hard to find the right balance between rewarding hard work and ingenuity while still trying to offer a safety net and a leg up for people who want to climb out of the poverty in which they were born. I will also add that my views on the death penalty did a 180 when I was in law school. Previously, I was in the "you commit the crime, you do the time" camp. But, as I began to study our legal system in greater detail, I realized how much the death penalty (and our criminal justice system more generally) was influenced by race, gender, and economics. I also began to understand the extent to which people with severe mental illnesses are criminally punished for illnesses. And I wanted no part in supporting such a biased institution. So, yeah. Gray, gray, gray -- always gray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 What's the adage? "If you're not a liberal in your 20s, you have no brain. If you're not conservative in your 50s, you have no brain." Something to that effect... I'm also not finding this to be true. I was libertarian moderate when I was younger. I'm a full out liberal now. Of course, like every person approaching middle age, I feel it's the debates and national figures and parties that have changed... not me, of course. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Yes, my views on most things have changed over time. Actually, hanging out on this board has often led me to see something differently, and to understand that reasonable, well-researched people can still come to different conclusions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Changed a lot. I used to think I knew everything and would loudly proclaim what I knew to be true. Now I have learned to sit back and carefully ask, "Why?" when I hear something that goes against what I think. Sometimes I change my mind, sometimes I don't. Often, I'll slightly adjust what I thought, even if I don't make a 180. Now I get very frustrated when I'm around people who are like how I used to be. I want to shake them and say, "You don't know what you think you know and you're making a fool of yourself! Stop and ask questions once in a while instead of spouting off what you think you know!" I've been resisting, but I can tell that I'm close to saying those words to a couple of people I know. Maybe I'll say them, but without the shaking and exclamation points. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I did eventually achieved my dream with enough grit, which should have just reaffirmed my belief in the American dream. But, when I arrived at my destination, I realized that I was surrounded by so many others who had pretty much been handed my dream from birth. I began to really understand the inequalities in our society -- how easily money and power could buy you more money and power, and maintain the status quo. And the exclusive club that I had joined lost a lot of its luster for me. It no longer seemed worth the sacrifices I had made, especially vis a vis my mental health. Not sure if any of that is making sense. So, I wouldn't consider myself a liberal by any means, but I am more inclined to support programs that seek to level the playing field a bit. Again, it's hard for me to say that because I feel that people who have worked hard shouldn't be penalized for their achievements. The word redistribution still makes me cringe. But, I am more likely to recognize that economic, racial, and gender inequality are real, and are not necessarily the result of personal choices. You know? It's hard to find the right balance between rewarding hard work and ingenuity while still trying to offer a safety net and a leg up for people who want to climb out of the poverty in which they were born. Makes a lot of sense to me. My experience is similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 My views haven't changed a whole lot. I've always been pretty moderate (and I lean liberal). I think I've become more tolerant and understanding of other views. I do not have much time for extreme and angry points of view. I had a more crunchy/organic food phase when my kids were small and I was careful about what I brought into the house and I always brought food for them everywhere. But I think if I would have had another child, I would have done the same thing from age 0 to 4/5. Even now, we don't have soda at home and I tend to keep a whole foods house. But the whole wheat goldfish crackers make it into the house pretty often and natural granola bars, etc. But if I take my kids to Chipotle, I let them get a soda. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Oh yes. I was an Evangelical Christian for 20 years (converted from a non-Christian family in my teens). Husband and I were Evangelical missionaries during our courtship and the first 7 years of our marriage. Now, atheist. Used to be Rush Limbaugh/Sean Hannity listening Republican. Now am quite left-leaning. This happened in my mid 30s. Fortunately, my family and I wound up moving out of the Bible Celt about a year after deconverting, so we managed to find new friends and a better environment for us and our family. It was not such an easy place to live once we left our church and faith system. It was rough on the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 What's the adage? "If you're not a liberal in your 20s, you have no heart. If you're not conservative in your 50s, you have no brain." Something to that effect... I've heard this, but disagree with it. Why is a 20 year old conservative heartless but not a 50 year old one? Why is a 50 year old liberal brainless but not a 20 year old one? Either conservatives are heartless and liberals are brainless no matter their age, or they just have different beliefs about how things should be done. I'm going with the latter. There are brilliant liberals over the age of fifty. There are kind, considerate conservatives under the age of fifty (or whatever magic age you're supposed to reach when you change your beliefs). I also disagree that if your beliefs never change it means you don't think. If you never consider other viewpoints and never reexamine your own, then of course you don't think. But it's quite possible to do so and come away with the same belief. I'm talking about beliefs here not facts. For example - Facts When it was proven that the earth is not the center of the universe, those who wouldn't change their belief that it was, were people who didn't (or wouldn't) think. Now some examples using a current issue in the U.S. - Beliefs/Viewpoints Person 1 I have always thought we should have government provided universal health care in this country. I've done some research, learned about how it's handled in other countries, and examined the arguments of those who think it's not a good idea. After careful consideration, I still believe in universal government run health care. Person 2 I have never thought we should have government provided universal health care in this country. I've done some research, learned about how it's handled in other countries, and examined the arguments of those who think it's a good idea. After careful consideration, I still believe we should not have universal government run health care. Persons 3 and 4 I have always/never thought we should have government provided universal health care in this country. I've done some research, learned about how it's handled in other countries, and examined the arguments of those who think it is not/is a good idea. After careful consideration, I have changed my mind and now think universal health care is not/is something that would be good for this country. In all examples above the 4 people examined their beliefs about an issue. Two of them did not change their minds. Those who didn't can't be accused of not thinking just because they didn't change their minds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Well, my parents fit in as typical Republicans and dh's are typical Democrats. I'm more liberal than my parents and he's more conservative than his. I used to think our beliefs needed to line up but that just doesn't fit us, we have interesting conversations sometimes :) We do agree about a lot, like the values for our family and how you treat one another and voting wise we end up voting similar as the larger political world doesn't really fit either of us too well. I'm a bit raging liberal on some issues, straight conservative on some and a bit moderate here and there. It is funny when the kids were small I thought of myself as a more liberal parent and I'm sure I would be identified as such but that is just becoming less and less true as the kids get older. I don't know why but it strikes me as a bit amusing. Dh and I have had a few parenting conversations in the last year or so where we realized that our views actually fit in the more with those we would consider strict. It was quite funny when someone we knew went on about those loosey goosey parents that don't spank (us) and then proceed to allow and condone behavior that would never fly in our house. I really wanted to say something at the time but it seemed a bit smug. However, I allow my kids a lot more independence and choices than many even though we seem to have higher expectations than a lot (somewhat to our surprise really). It kind of reminds me of the academic push in younger grades, we're pushing earlier and earlier these days but my middle school we stop and the US grows behind. Similarly in parenting there are these expectations for babies and toddlers that are in no way developmentally appropriate but then kids get to grade and middle school and parents seem to stop trying. re: TV: LOL, I've actually had a couple of swings (and I might have a few more by the time the kids get grown) I think most all of us want to belong somewhere and it can be a bit disconcerting when we don't fit anywhere, even more so when we don't know ourselves. Sometimes it is just hard to be objective about oneself. It really does help to read this board because I can see people posting similar actions or views to my own and then I can examine it a bit from the outside. Sometimes I like what I see and other times I realize that I need an adjustment of some kind. It is good as well to remember on here that there are real life people behind various views and most people do have good intentions. I think this is so true. I've never really fit in completely anywhere. The usuall...too liberal for some friends, too conservative for others. It seems like a lot of us are like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Yep, I've changed on some pretty major things lately. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I have not changed my political views or my environmental views. I am very progressive for this country and am concerned about resource use. I have had more of a chance to hear the other side more and read where they are coming from but it hasn't changed my views. I do know though that you really have to hear the other side out and not just declare people with other views stupid. I get tired of that from both sides. Most news articles or internet articles seem to go that way. Conversations get nowhere with insults about people or their beliefs. I have changed in parenting. I have gotten less AP and crunchy except for the environmental stuff. I still do things to lessen resource use but I have changed on topics like vaccines, diet, discipline, schooling natural cures and birth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I think most all of us want to belong somewhere and it can be a bit disconcerting when we don't fit anywhere, even more so when we don't know ourselves. Sometimes it is just hard to be objective about oneself. It really does help to read this board because I can see people posting similar actions or views to my own and then I can examine it a bit from the outside. Sometimes I like what I see and other times I realize that I need an adjustment of some kind. It is good as well to remember on here that there are real life people behind various views and most people do have good intentions. Yes, I feel that. And it's not even like I want to agree with everything someone else thinks. How dull, right? And I try really hard to fight that sense of assumption that happens - like you agree with someone on so many things and then you end up assuming that they probably agree about something else - but they don't. And despite that, I still end up falling into that trap sometimes. And it's not even so much about politics or parenting. What I've found is that it's hard to find people who line up a little across the board. Like, people who share my interests in entertainment don't share my views on parenting. Or people who share my views on parenting don't share my views on politics or religion. It's... hard to find a group of peers who really feel like my people all the way around. So I've had to accept finding people who are more diverse where our meeting points are just a few things instead of a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I believe I've passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage...I've found that just surviving is a noble fight. I once believed in causes, too; had my pointless point of view -- life goes on, no matter who was wrong or right. ~Billy Joel I'm still pretty fierce about my decisions for my own family, and most of my original beliefs still stand. My list of absolutes was pretty short, though. The major change is that I no longer give a flying fig what anyone else on the planet does. Eyes on my own work, looking forward to getting done with this phase and building a cabin by the lake where I will grow beans and go huckleberrying and only talk to other humans on market day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I've changed many of my views. For the most part, I've become more moderate. flexible, and much less judgmental. I still have firm views, but I'm less likely to think that people would be better off it they just agreed with me and did things the right way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 The major change is that I no longer give a flying fig what anyone else on the planet does. Eyes on my own work, looking forward to getting done with this phase and building a cabin by the lake where I will grow beans and go huckleberrying and only talk to other humans on market day. You forgot a hive for the honeybee.. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Yes. I started out Republican, and now I'm Democrat. I think I used to be more judgmental, without realizing it. Now, I can put myself in someone else's shoes so easily, that there is rarely a black or white answer. I've come to learn that most people truly make the best decisions they can given their own unique set of circumstances. I'm still a Christian, but even that is changing. I've learned that what our churches teach might not really be the way God meant it. I've learned that we as humans are hung up about a lot of things that really aren't as important as I once thought. I've learned that a lot of things don't make sense, but we can still laugh and count our blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 Person 1 I have always thought we should have government provided universal health care in this country. I've done some research, learned about how it's handled in other countries, and examined the arguments of those who think it's not a good idea. After careful consideration, I still believe in universal government run health care. Person 2 I have never thought we should have government provided universal health care in this country. I've done some research, learned about how it's handled in other countries, and examined the arguments of those who think it's a good idea. After careful consideration, I still believe we should not have universal government run health care. Persons 3 and 4 I have always/never thought we should have government provided universal health care in this country. I've done some research, learned about how it's handled in other countries, and examined the arguments of those who think it is not/is a good idea. After careful consideration, I have changed my mind and now think universal health care is not/is something that would be good for this country. In all examples above the 4 people examined their beliefs about an issue. Two of them did not change their minds. Those who didn't can't be accused of not thinking just because they didn't change their minds. I agree that one doesn't necessarily have to change their views to be a thinking person but I think for a person to make it all the way through adulthood without ever changing their thoughts on any subject then they might be a little, um, biased? The idea that one could be "right" about everything their whole life seems a bit preposterous to me. I do however think that some of us are more prone to such things, due to personality or whatever. Tibbie Dunbar- I totally agree with caring less about what others do. I am *more* convicted about some things that we do as a family but less rigid in my thoughts that others should do them the way I do. . I'm more convinced about hs'ing for my family but I'm less convinced of it for everyone. I could say the same about several more thoughts and views but it is really inconsequential. I see a lot more options out there for people to be good, caring and successful people I think we tend to get caught up in too many details that matter little, especially as young parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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