aggieamy Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I'm feeling a strange amount of guilt over this and I need someone to either talk me down or give me a kick in the bum. I've got all the Christmas presents for my kids in the Amazon shopping cart ready to check out. I'm within the budget I planned for kids presents but there's a huge difference in who I am spending the money on. DD's gifts: - Playmobil medieval house -Lego creator house -Marie Antoinette dress for AG doll -A London tee shirt -A cardboard cut out and build castle -5 Usborne history books DS's gifts: - A Schleich knight - A wood circle puzzle - Richard Scarry's What do People Do All Day book It looks even worse typed out. But ... but ... but ... DD will spend HOURS listening to audiobooks and building these complex villages with her Playmobils and Legos. She and a friend like to play AG dolls and they love reenacting historical events with the dolls. (Last week they were playing Catherine Howard.) All of her toys will get hours of playtime in before midnight on Christmas day. And ... and ... and ... DS doesn't play with anything yet. He just knocks toys off the shelf and puts them in his mouth. He also turned one yesterday and we are swamped with toys for him - trucks, farm animals, balls, sorting toys, stacking toys, etc. Not to mention we saved all the nice wood toys (puzzles, trains, building blocks) from when DD was young. But ... but ... but ... how do I spend $180 on one kid and $40 on the other. She'll have a big stack of presents and he'll have three. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 A 1 year old won't care. I would not worry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolyn in Ohio Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 The kids are 10 and 1? I wouldn't think twice. Save the money for when the baby is old enough to want something. Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alisa in Florida Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I think you're fine. At 1, mine were more interested in the boxes and bows anyway. I don't think he'll notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Ds is a year old? I wouldn't worry about balancing the gifts this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Looking at your sig, the child getting fewer presents is one? He'll be fine. :) Plus, when she outgrows the toys, he'll probably get them anyway, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5of5 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Can you get DS a number of little things to increase the size of his pile? Regarding the difference in $$$ --- you could mentally consider it "savings" against some future year's disparity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I would never try to equalize spending between a ten year old and a one year old. His turn will come. And I'm betting you didn't spend so much on DD when she was 1. When your little guy is old enough to notice and care (quantity not expense will become significant before long) you can worry about an appearance of equality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 If you feel the need to make it appear more equal, get him one more big thing that isn't necessarily expensive. Like a big ball. Big is impressive. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saw Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Wrap up some socks or something silly so he'll have something to unwrap. At that age it seems to be all about the paper and the box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 He's one. He won't notice! To this day, I try to even out the dollar amount spent but what I find most important is that they have the same number of gifts under the tree. I have resorted to gift wrapping items like a box of the beloved but banned sugary cereal to fill a gap. Seems to me that little kids don't count the cost so much as the number of packages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xahm Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Relax! At first, reading your post I assumed the kids were like 6 and 8 and thought "how terrible," but a 1 year old won't care and neither should you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 ds got a playsilk the year he was one and the teens got normal teen presents. He's six now so he's getting six year old presents and the resident adult child is getting a bottle of wine or something. The non-resident adult kids are getting gift cards. It's just a wide age gap thang. You're fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 It makes sense at their ages -- babies and toddlers have more needs than wants... And big kids appreciate the presents and gifts that enrich their lives. If you must think about money, add in thoughts of cribs and car seats and high chairs, toddler beds and new bedding, programs and memberships -- etc. (Also, many of your DD's new toys will eventually be 'everybody toys' and then (when he is 10 and she is 19) pretty much all his. He will always have more toys than she did -- he will get hers, gently used, plus plenty if new ones of his own.) Just make sure there is plenty to open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Looking at your sig, the child getting fewer presents is one? He'll be fine. :) Plus, when she outgrows the toys, he'll probably get them anyway, right? I like to think so but at this point I can see DD going off to college with all her clothes in one suitcase and all her Playmobils in another. If you feel the need to make it appear more equal, get him one more big thing that isn't necessarily expensive. Like a big ball. Big is impressive. LOL Wrap up some socks or something silly so he'll have something to unwrap. At that age it seems to be all about the paper and the box. I can totally do that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 If he were old enough to care then I'd vote for making it more even but not at that age. If you think he'll love unwrapping things you could wrap up some things he needs or already has. If your dd wonders why it's easy enough to explain that he doesn't play much yet. Eta: wow! Lots of replies since I started to type. I added this so I don't look crazy repeating what everyone else said! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 This is alarming but it seems that everyone is in agreement on WTM. Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypses? Maybe all this Christmas buying is mute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Don't worry about it. Or get a couple other cheap things. I like the big ball suggestion. Or wrap up some hand me down stuff from the older one. I have an infant and I recently purged the playroom of things the kids weren't playing with but I wanted to save for the youngest. I think I have enough stuff for his first three birthdays and Christmases! Lots of little people, dinosaurs, superheroes, wooden trains, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 A 1 year old won't care. I would not worry about it. The one year old won't care. The 10 year old might notice. Find something to wrap up and give the 1 year old. Even if they are hand me down books, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I like to think so but at this point I can see DD going off to college with all her clothes in one suitcase and all her Playmobils in another. I can totally do that! I took my Lego collection with me to college, it was a hit there with my friends, especially the guys :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Maybe wrap up a box of graham crackers or whatever baby snack he enjoys. I agree with the others--he'll have fun with the bows and paper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 He probably won't care but if it makes you feel too guilty I would maybe wrap some stuff up that he needs (clothing, shoes, new blanket etc.) so the presents are a bit more even. If you feel bad about spending so much less money on him you could put the difference (or part of it) in a savings account or buy something lasting (piece of furniture etc.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 When my boys were young, I did not concern myself with the dollar about but that they both had equal amount of gifts to open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Agreeing that the age difference is definitely a factor here--don't sweat it. I like Sparkly's idea of wrapping a big ball. I bet your ds will be thrilled! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 The one year old won't care. The 10 year old might notice. Find something to wrap up and give the 1 year old. Even if they are hand me down books, etc. I had been thinking about that too. She is adores the little guy and I don't want her thinking that we like her better. LOL. I was going to buy him a beach towel this summer. Maybe I'll go ahead and do that along with a beach ball. Those will add volume to his stack of gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Wrap up some socks or something silly so he'll have something to unwrap. At that age it seems to be all about the paper and the box. I remember DD's first Christmas. Her favorite part of the presents was the tissue paper. She also loved the socks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I'd try to balance things out by size and quantity, so both kids have similar piles of presents. I like the idea of a big beach ball. Or a cuddly stuffed animal. Or a box full of bubble wrap. (My kids loved bubble wrap, but I am not sure if it is dangerous for a one year old or not.) This may just be me, but I would have thought a one year old would be too young for a Schleich knight. Ymmv. It looks as though all your baby stuff is fine motor oriented. You say you are swamped with toys, but it might still be nice if there were something youngest could just knock about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I wouldn't worry about it with a one year old. If you feel you need to explain the disparity to your dd, then I think you should. I don't think it should be a big deal, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I too agree that your 10 yo will notice, and that having similar number of gifts will be more fun. My youngest at that age *loved* hats, cute "personal" spoons / plates / cups, bath sponges, socks...Things like that, wrapped, would mean endless delight. It is not about how much I spent for each child (often very unequal), but I do try to have the number of gifts to be in the same range. It is simply more fun this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 I'd try to balance things out by size and quantity, so both kids have similar piles of presents. I like the idea of a big beach ball. Or a cuddly stuffed animal. Or a box full of bubble wrap. (My kids loved bubble wrap, but I am not sure if it is dangerous for a one year old or not.) This may just be me, but I would have thought a one year old would be too young for a Schleich knight. Ymmv. It looks as though all your baby stuff is fine motor oriented. You say you are swamped with toys, but it might still be nice if there were something youngest could just knock about. That idea was born out of desperation. I did only have two things for him! I figured it was a set I could add to as he gets older. DD has a bunch of the Schleich fairies and started playing with them at three. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 This is alarming but it seems that everyone is in agreement on WTM. Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypses? Maybe all this Christmas buying is mute. Um. Moot not mute. :blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Toddler gifts that were surprisingly fun: box of Cheerios, toothbrush, socks, etc. I sometimes wrapped hand me down toys that were in the attic. I wouldn't try to equal to a much older sibling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Given the ages I don't think the 1yr old will notice. A less popular idea is to remove one of her items. If you do that in conjunction with adding something inexpensive for him to unwrap, they would have a similar number of items to open. Are you going to wrap the books as a set or individually? I'd say wrap them together maybe. Or remove one/some of her items and then wrap them separately and she still has a big pile. I could call the Usborne books a family present for both of them and that would take her numbers down a bit but she'd still get to be the one to enjoy them first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 When our kids were at the ages that 'number of gifts' was counted, sure we tried to make sure each had an equal amount. They were closer in age so that only lasted a couple of years. But for a one year old, there's no way I would buy things just to have something to open. If you're concerned that your older kid will notice the difference, preempt that by having a talk about it- let her help wrap his things and talk about when she was a baby. She's ten, she's old enough to understand that a one year old doesn't need a pile of toys. I might also put a few of her gifts back for later in January - like give her two or three books but not all five. If you start the 'balancing number of gifts' thing now, you might find it's also difficult at the other end when dd is an older teen and teen gifts can be more costly than your son's will be. Balancing then is also hard to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I don't think your ds will remember any of this. He will be happy with what he got. I remember how inundated my ds was at 9 months on his first Christmas. Presents everywhere from everyone in the family (he was the only baby that year) and here was this little one, crying, totally overwhelmed by all the choices. You know your children best and you chose accordingly. Don't worry, you will have plenty of time to spend more money on him in years to come... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 You should make peace with this now because it only gets worse. I spend way more on the teen than the toddler. A Dollar Store toy will bring the toddler the same joy that the teen feels for a $300 guitar. And the toddler will be a teen some day. It all comes out in the wash! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 The best gift I got my nieces last year when they were 3 and almost 1? A big moving box. The adored it. This is me saying that it won't matter. At. All :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuddleJumper1 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Can you get DS a number of little things to increase the size of his pile? Regarding the difference in $$$ --- you could mentally consider it "savings" against some future year's disparity. This is what I was going to suggest. You could get some $1 cardboard books or a few inexpensive hand toys for babies if you want him to have the same number of items to open. I totally get where you're coming from. I really dislike one child to have more gifts to open than another. The money spent never matches but the number to open always does even it they are small things to even it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 When my eldest was one he got eleventy million presents at my inlaws house. It overwhelmed him so much that he burst into tears. So you are giving him the gift of an age appropriate holiday. And that is a very nice gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 your ds is 1? he won't even notice. this age likes the boxes more. speaking of boxes - I used to packing tape milk boxes together into 'blocks' for my kids to build forts with in the basement. (we had a constant supply of replacements for crushed boxes) see if you can find an applicance box and make him a fort. he'll love it. you'll get sick of cardboard though . . . . . . I used to buy "communal" toy gifts that would increase the overall size of a set. and I bent over backwards to spend the same amount. now - some kids get more, other's less, and it varies each year and each birthday. eta: I know a woman who hoarded juice can lids and made a treasure chest with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 The boxes and wrapping paper will be more a thrill to him than actual gifts ;) I wouldn't give it another thought! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I like to think so but at this point I can see DD going off to college with all her clothes in one suitcase and all her Playmobils in another. My daughter took her coloring pencils to college, so you may be right! I'm in agreement with others that your one year old will probably delight in a box or a ball. Enjoy the celebration. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 This is the year you can get away with it, given he is only one. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 When my eldest was one he got eleventy million presents at my inlaws house. It overwhelmed him so much that he burst into tears. So you are giving him the gift of an age appropriate holiday. And that is a very nice gift. This happened to us as well. I think maybe I cried harder about it than ds did - my few carefully chosen with love items were lost in a sea of unmemorable items. I love the idea of a big ball (maybe $5 at Target) and big sis helping wrap while you talk about things. I earlier suggested the number of packages be equal but I forgot the great difference in age. I don't think disparity in size or value will be a big issue between them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I love the ball idea. So simple, so appropriate, so inexpensive. Ditto on the socks. Maybe add a board book (Oops, you already added a book. You're good!) We can certainly spend your money here at the hive. :) lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 At 1 mine barely would interested in ripping the paper off the present, what was inside was even less interesting. Bows would usual garner a few minutes of attention. Last year DS was 11 months at Christmas. I took a big box of all the things I had saved with me to our Thanksgiving gathering and told everyone to "shop" for DS and wrap it for Christmas figuring if he wanted to get in on the ripping there would be something for him. He napped through the entire gift opening and then only cared about eating upon waking. This year DS will be almost 2. The box that will come to Thanksgiving will be Little people stuff some of the Thomas the train pieces etc. He is already playing with this stuff but we have so much of it he will never notice if I remove half of it for a month. This year I expect he will nap through gift opening again (as his naptime is in the afternoon when we do gifts) but upon wking I expect he will have some interest in ripping paper and playing with bows. For his 3rd Christmas, lincoln logs and the duplo lego train set will be included in the box for relatives to "shop" from. By 4 we might have to look at some real presents depending on what age appropriate toys have survived from having 5 older siblings. I think the only toy I will need to invest in the next 3 years will be a few lift the flap books as toddler's can be tough on those and many of ours are missing flaps. Having done this routine in the past I know none of my young ones even notice that I recycled gifts. It was actually better than new because they could immediately play with them instead of waiting for them to be unpackaged (and with all those stupid zip tie and twisties it can take a while). The only ones who have ever been bothered by this are the older kids who wonder why/how their old toys got to Grandma's house. I've since learned to tell the older kids in advance. So maybe mention the difference to DD and let her know the younger isn't getting much because he doesn't need much right now. You can always wrap up a large empty box if you feel like DS really needs more. All kids love crawling in boxes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Um. Moot not mute. :blushing: I didn't realize at first that you were correcting yourself and I thought "wow, that is rude!" But I guess it's okay if you're saying it about your own post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 The one year old gets sister's empty boxes! Haha He'll be thrilled! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I'm getting my one year old nothing for Christmas. He gets the wrapping paper and boxes!! He'll love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Wrap up old toys or some sort of treat so the number of gifts are equal. The $ amount doesn't matter at age one. Have a Merry Christmas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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