Belacqua Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 The "ask a..." threads have me wondering. Most of us have fielded the one about socialization. But what other question (based on your religion, family size, job, hobby, diet, whatever) would you pay never to hear again? It doesn't have to be nasty or even especially intrusive...just that question you're asked over and over and over. For example: a friend who works retail tells me that whenever something doesn't scan, she feels herself tensing, waiting for the customer to say, "So does that mean it's free? Hur hur." Just an innocent joke, she realizes, but it sets her teeth on edge. For me, it's when people find out my husband works from home. A good 85% ask if it drives me crazy to have him around all the time. A legitimate question, really, but I'm just rather tired of it. So what's yours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "How will he learn to take tests?" and I guess because I have a "young-ish" looking face, "When do you plan to have child no#2?" :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 My dd plays fiddle really well. Besides the usual questions on her age, how longs she's been playing, etc…after a performance, at least one person asks, "Does she take lessons?" I always give a short, polite response along the lines of "yes" but inside I'm thinking, "Seriously? You think she was born playing like this? Try 2-3 lessons a week, some over 2.5 hours away one way and don't even ask me what it all costs." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "And what are you going to do with your degree?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I'm short. Very short. Believe me, there's likely no comment anyone could make about it that I haven't heard before. Dozens of times. It gets very tiresome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Are you sure you are not their grandmother?" :glare: and not a question but one of those "I've heard it a million times" things: "Hi, Jean. Oooh. Hygiene! Get it? Get it?" :rolleyes: "Do you join in the public school programs for homeschoolers?" - which is partly a socialization question and partly a "you must need help from professionals" question/veiled statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Are you guys done having kids yet?" Asked by people who think we should be done. umm since when was 3 kids the cut off? actually I got that after my second but it was stated more like this, "Yay, you have a boy and a girl, now you're done right?" grrr! its none of your business when I'm done. P.S. I'm 4 days late, I've NEVER been late without it being because I was pregnant, so when someone asked me this question today I laughed in their face and just walked away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Upon learning that my children are very close in age (I gave birth to 4 babies in roughly 2.5 years) and that I homeschool them: "You must be soooo paaaaaatient!" To which I love to reply, "Actually, I scream A LOT!" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 When people find out I am a principal I get asked: What is going on with American education? Why are all the schools so bad! Why do they test so much? And so forth... I am NOT the spokesperson for "American education"... I don't even live there! Just because I am American and work in education does not make me the expert witness. On the family side, I HATE when people see my dd or my youngest ds and ask " is that your REAL daughter/son?" No, he/she is just a figment of your imagination, moron. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Do you know any terrorists? :rolleyes: No, but if I did, why in the heck would I tell you, random stranger? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I get, "So, are you still homeschooling?" by neighbors I've not seen in a few months. Yep. Still am. 19 years down, 13 to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Any mention of red hair, especially as it relates to temper. Hard to believe, but all people with red hair are not identical or interchangeable. My red haired kids are by far the milder of the four. My hair is the identical shade to the children's. They really did get it from me. I am going to have to brace myself for all of the "trying for a girl" comments. The circumstances of my child's conception are no one's business, and my boys are not failed attempts. For the love of all things, do not apologize to me for having all boys. It's neither kind nor comforting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Do you know any terrorists? :rolleyes: No, but if I did, why in the heck would I tell you, random stranger? Oh c'mon you can tell us. We're all friends here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Oh and I just remembered one from my days of grocery cash register hell. "Are you working hard or hardly working?" Every day I got that question from at least five men of a certain age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivey Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Are you going to try for a girl?" "When are you going to adopt again?" We have adopted one child. I'm not sure why, but people always seem to think we're planning to adopt several more. "What have you been feeding them?" My teenage boys are tall, which obviously has something to do with their diet of Eggos and frozen pizzas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I am a pharmacy technician. I get "your really smart, you should be the pharmacist !". I appreciate the compliment but sometimes I want to say... "is there a problem with me being a smart pharmacy technician? Considering that I do 95% of the work to fill your prescription, don't you want me to be just as smart?" I am sure nurses get the same comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I thought of another one, when people see how close in age my kids are... "Are they ALL yours?" Which is kind of a strange question because it's not like I have fourteen kids. Just four. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Oh, I would love to have your curly hair." Said with a certain look in their eye. I'm almost 47, it took until I was about 42 to not vehemently hate it, so yes, if I could give you my curly hair I would, in a heartbeat. Poor ds inherited some of my curl, so you could pick us out as mother and son in a group after a windstorm. We went to a family wedding on dh's side a few years ago. They all have beautiful straight flat hair, it was windy. Ds and my hair looked horrid. It had been styled when we left home. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Do you not get science?" (I'm a creationist, and yes that's how it's usually worded) "Oh, so you're going to get a teaching degree then?" No. Go away. Get a parenting degree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmos Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Any mention of red hair, especially as it relates to temper. Hard to believe, but all people with red hair are not identical or interchangeable. My red haired kids are by far the milder of the four. My hair is the identical shade to the children's. They really did get it from me. Oh that reminds me of one -- "Where did his red hair come from?" How on earth am I supposed to know? Is that even an answerable question? The genes don't come labelled with provenance, as far as I know. I mean, I'm polite and say the right things, and I've probably even asked other people the same question in the past. But after hearing the same question over and over for 13 years, it eventually dawned on me how stupid it was. ETA: I guess I've probably only heard the question for 11 years. He was bald for the first two years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I have four teen kids. (Har-har) I almost do... soon! DD12, DS11, DD10, DD10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Not a question, but I'm really tired of telling people I homeschool only to have them start spluttering and giving me a list of reasons why THEY couldn't possibly homeschool. I'm just making a statement, not proselyting, people! Also I'm tired of the us vs them mentality I'm finding among some HSers of my acquaintance. And Common Core. Please don't hijack our homeschooling gathering with your conspiracy theory rants about CC. And when people pointedly change the subject, take a freaking hint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonesinIndiana Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 When the ALWAYS grouchy clerk at the thrift store asks if my kids are adopted? Uh, why do you ask? ...... Ah, you're curious! Well, alrighty then, don't mind my blank face stare as you stammer and stutter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megbo Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Are you Leo's nanny? Are you Max's babysitter? Questions and comments like this made sense when Dss was younger, but I am definitely not too young or too young-looking to have 4- and 6-year-old kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Are they all yours" -every single time I am out with more than one kid. Every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "But they don't look like twins!" That's my personal must have been asked a thousand times question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indian summer Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Going to school has been so great for my kids." especially annoying when no one was even talking about education. And people who offer me jobs I would never want, or suggest I apply somewhere - and I'm not even looking for work. This has happened to me an unusual number of times. And the people who say "I could never stay home with the kids because I'd miss being around adults." (ummm...I didn't ask and do they really think there are no adults to be around if you're a sahm?) I've concluded that people want me to be as miserable as they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Whenever I leave Texas: "You're from Texas? You don't sound Texan!" Yes, it turns out that if you live your life in a large urban area and its suburbs, you don't end up with the regional accent of more rural areas. Sorry. I'll try to fake a drawl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M&M Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Where do your children get their blue/hazel eyes from? Where do your girls get their curly hair? Is your hair naturally straight? (One day i'll say-Um. No.... Is that your real hair color?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Would you like to try our new ______ [insert bacon/cheddar/chipotle/Tuscan thingie] ______with that?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Oh, I would love to have your curly hair." Said with a certain look in their eye. I'm almost 47, it took until I was about 42 to not vehemently hate it, so yes, if I could give you my curly hair I would, in a heartbeat. Poor ds inherited some of my curl, so you could pick us out as mother and son in a group after a windstorm. We went to a family wedding on dh's side a few years ago. They all have beautiful straight flat hair, it was windy. Ds and my hair looked horrid. It had been styled when we left home. :glare: :iagree: Except my DS some how ended up with straight as a board hair. I never even got a baby curl. :glare: I am about ready to shave mine off. I carry a brush around and it still does not look like I have touched it 5 minutes later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2jjka Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 The one that gets me steamed: "Well, it's okay for you to homeschool because you were a teacher so I know you'll do a good job....but I think it's crazy that 'non-qualified' parents attempt it." (FTR I remind them that I taught Pre-K and kindergarten - which is way different than teaching biology and algebra...and yet we're managing just fine) ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggie96 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 For example: a friend who works retail tells me that whenever something doesn't scan, she feels herself tensing, waiting for the customer to say, "So does that mean it's free? Hur hur." Just an innocent joke, she realizes, but it sets her teeth on edge. For me, it's when people find out my husband works from home. A good 85% ask if it drives me crazy to have him around all the time. A legitimate question, really, but I'm just rather tired of it. I feel really bad. I have said this in the checkout line many times. Why it never occurred to me that everybody and their dog says this, I will never know. :( DH also works from home (we own our own business) and homeschool (of course). We ALWAYS get asked if we get tired of each other, or go crazy being all in the house all the time, etc. Then we hear about how that person could NEVER do it <insert reasoning>. We upsized our square footage significantly last fall, and it somehow made people feel better if we said we were increasing size BECAUSE we were home all day together (this was not the reason, but was the reasoning for house flow). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggie96 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Whenever I leave Texas: "You're from Texas? You don't sound Texan!" Yes, it turns out that if you live your life in a large urban area and its suburbs, you don't end up with the regional accent of more rural areas. Sorry. I'll try to fake a drawl. I get just the opposite! I'm from west Texas, and, yes, have a MAJOR drawl. You know it's bad when TEXANS ask you where you're from. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "How many wives does your husband have?" (when they find out I'm LDS/Mormon) "Oh, you're Mormon? So you believe [insert absolutely crazy thing that I most definitely do NOT believe]" "No, I don't believe that at all." "Well, I read in a book/learned in a class at my church that you believe that." Said with a look in their eye that tells me they're going to believe their book or their "class" over an actual bonafied member of the church of 30+ years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggie96 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 My son, his dad, his granddad, and his great granddad all have Congenital Ptosis (droopy eyelid). I get asked constantly (including yesterday by new pedi) if DS is sleepy or if his eye is swollen. Everyone always says, "Ahhh. It looks like it's time for a nap." ...even at 8am. :) It drives me batty. ETA: DH tells me it gets worse when everyone in high school will assume he's stoned. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plumshadow Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 My very first job was a waitress and every-single-time I said my name, the customer would ask "Just like Whitney Houston?.....Can you sing?! Where's Bobby?" Ughh those were the longest 2 years of my life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "I guess now you know how your wife feels, huh?" Because apparently 1) I'm automatically married and 2) If I get exxasperated with my kids, its the universe punishing me because ...why, exactly? "Oh, wait, so...is their mom dead?" Drop dead. Now. Right now. "How many baby mamas do you have?" (the boys are less than a year apart.) I hate when I tell someone that I have 2 kids and they reply. "...That you know of!" As if I've just been sleeping around oh so much I can't keep track of my offspring. "So what? [Their mom] can't do anything for them?" "Do you have legal custody of them?" No, as a matter of fact I do not. The only we that we have been able to stay one step ahead of the authorities has been by offing those who discover our dirty little secret... "You should send them to their mom." "Man, I'd rather just pay child support!" "How much do you pay in child support?" "Can't your mom keep them?" "Can't her mom keep them?" In responce to my insistence that I can't do FRIVILOUS/FUN ACTIVITY because I have offspring that need food, shelter, clothing, my time, presence and support: "Man, you deserve a medal!" Uh...why? What do you expect me to do? Leave my kids out in the cold--wet, naked and hungry? Don't get me wrong, I'd happily let your mongrel spawn go to pot, but not my kids." "*tsk, tsk* This is why I don't condone fornication." To which I say 4uck you and I don't mean that in the lustful way. And yes, I actually told the pompous hag that to her face. "I'll be praying for you to get a wife." I'll be praying for too...after all you can't live forever and statistically I'm far more likely to be around next year. "Man, kids suck! " spoken by a childless frenemie. "When do you do anything fun?" Every weekend when I drag myself out of the house and take my sons out. Every night we have Math Circle or when I listen to my boys freestyle a book or when we do any of the 1000 funny, spontaneous, engaging and interesting things that we do. "...mamas baby, daddies maybe..." You can go leap from a height for all I care. "Next time, Gil, find a godly woman." How bout you skip the sanctimonious, holier-than-thou bit and just go to hell? "You should've given them up to adoption." The only way I'm able to refrain from striking my especially stupid peers at times like that is by focusing on the fact that I'm a single dad. If I get locked up, I'd lose my kids. "You need to get out more, man." You need to develop a second brain cell so that you might gain the ability to spark a thought in that cesspool you call a brain. "You look tired--you need to ditch the kids for a while and get back out there man! Just go wild." Right, because my exhaustion has nothing to do with my 3 jobs, 4 classes, or ailing relatives. It can't be anything else but parenting that wears me out. "Are those really your kids?" What...the...frick does that even mean? "I think [Their mom] might have tricked you man! How do you explain 2 kids so close together?" Uh...so let me get this straight, you are implying that its possible for a woman to fall pregnant twice within a year but only by two seperate men? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I hate "Are they all yours?" Um, no. I gather all of the neighborhood kids to go to the grocery store... :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 My son, his dad, his granddad, and his great granddad all have Congenital Ptosis (droopy eyelid). I get asked constantly (including yesterday by new pedi) if DS is sleepy or if his eye is swollen. Everyone always says, "Ahhh. It looks like it's time for a nap." ...even at 8am. :) It drives me batty. I have a son with this. I usually get "what happened to his eye"... I'd like to answer back with "what happened to your manners" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItoLina Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 The one that gets me steamed: "Well, it's okay for you to homeschool because you were a teacher so I know you'll do a good job....but I think it's crazy that 'non-qualified' parents attempt it." (FTR I remind them that I taught Pre-K and kindergarten - which is way different than teaching biology and algebra...and yet we're managing just fine) ;) This drives me nuts too. I am the opposite though. I taught high school history....how that qualifies me more than anyone else to teach my first grader to read is beyond me, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 My s-i-l would probably say hers is "are they identical"~~ asked about her boy/girl twins. I would have never believed her if I didn't hear two people ask her in one shopping trip... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hypatia. Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Do they all have the same dad?" Well, it's none of your business and it doesn't matter. :glare: DS1 & DD1 look very much like DH, DD2 and DS2 look more like me. I haven't gotten that question as much since DS3 was born since he looks more like a mix of both of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 When is she going back to school? Asked as if homeschooling was a fun side trip for a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SproutMamaK Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "You must be so happy to finally be having a girl!" Uh, I've had 5 stillbirths, you really think it mattered to me if this baby was a boy or a girl? Even if I hadn't had those losses... what the heck? Especially when said in front of my boys! How do I even begin to respond to that? My middle son has even taken to saying in a sort of shy tone how it must be nice for me to finally be having a girl baby. No, kiddo, not really, I would be equally thrilled no matter what. Frankly the thought of a girl is terrifying and I'd be much more comfortable with having another boy; I love having all boys, there's nothing quite like the way a little boy loves his Mama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I am a pharmacy technician. I get "your really smart, you should be the pharmacist !". I appreciate the complement but sometimes I want to say... "is there a problem with me being a smart pharmacy technician? Considering that I do 95% of the work to fill your prescription, don't you want me to be just as smart?" I am sure nurses get the same comments. Dh is a a very competent dental assistant and he gets told all the time he should be a dentist. I hate people essentially telling him he's settled or isn't doing enough. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I hate hearing "YOUR hands are full!" I have 3; :huh: that makes me feel like I look like I'm not handling my extremely well behave children well. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicianmom Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I just read this thread and realized that I must live in a very polite corner of the universe. It does annoy me when people ask me if I got a haircut. My hair was below my shoulders and now it's chin length, how do you think it happened? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 "Are they twins?" No, for the 100000000000th time. "Are they sisters?" Well since I refer to them both as my daughters, .... I've had a couple people say they must look like their dad (they are indigenous Central American and I am of European descent, so no resemblance at all). But I haven't had the dad comments much. I'm pretty matter-of-fact about being a single mom, so I guess that allows me to avoid some lines of questioning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 My s-i-l would probably say hers is "are they identical"~~ asked about her boy/girl twins. I would have never believed her if I didn't hear two people ask her in one shopping trip... This THIS this, a 1000 times this. I mean I read on forums for families with multiples that people would ask me that, but I didn't believe it till it happened to me OVER and OVER again. Really??? :huh: I don't have time for basic biology class while in line/at the mall/ in th waiting room, but I did give my share of "fraternal" vs "Identical" explanations. My other one is "but aren't you hot?" (referring to my long sleeves and hijab in summer time) Internally I say "Well it's 105 outside, are YOU hot?" Or the other one is about "how do you keep that on your head?" That is usually when I am wearing one of my "fancy" scarfs with several hidden pins in it :smilielol5: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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