Paige Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I'm trying to get DDs a new dress for Easter. I selected several lovely, age appropriate, and classic possibilities. They didn't like any of them and instead kept pointing out the tackiest things. I like linen and cotton; they like rayon and polyester. I like classic, tasteful styles, they like flashy. I like spring colors (for Easter, you know!), they're going for gothic Christmas party or Sugar Candy Pink Sparkle overload. I like dressy casual, they like ballroom. They are only 10....it can only get worse, right? I'm so torn. Do I give in and let them have one of their picks or do I pick what I KNOW will look best? Why did I even ask them? I could buy both- and hope they see for themselves when they get here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I remember that stage... have hope, they usually grow out of it. Mine have much more classic tastes now, than they did at 10. At 10, they are still wanting to play dress up, and look and feel like a princess, but they want to do it for real! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I don't have girls, but you have my sympathy. My son only wants to wear sweatpants, and he only wants to wear the sweatpants that he outgrew several months ago (i.e., the ones that hit just above the ankle). Of course, this is if I can convince him to change out of pajamas... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I think it would serve them right if you let them do the choosing and then put framed pictures conspicuously in your living room where they will be unavoidable in 20 years. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I don't have girls, but you have my sympathy. My son only wants to wear sweatpants, and he only wants to wear the sweatpants that he outgrew several months ago (i.e., the ones that hit just above the ankle). Of course, this is if I can convince him to change out of pajamas... Take a thread ripper to the seam in the crotch and work at the hole a little bit each time they are washed. Shhhhhhhh, it is a little secret of mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Compromise! I get to pick out the dress but you get to pick the sparkly shoes or wear some light make-up or paint your nails with glitter polish, etc. Life with girls can be such a challenge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 At that age, I just brought clothes home and put them in their rooms. Maybe that is wrong of me, I have always been on the fence about that. At about 12 or 13 they start picking out their own, and by then they are "indoctrinated" into my ideas of classy vs. tacky clothes. Again, possibly I am squelching their individuality...but I have to be seen with them, lol. I do have many, MANY other outlets available for their individual creative expression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Ha. I just took my 9 1/2 year old out to buy an Easter dress. I can relate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 At that age, I just brought clothes home and put them in their rooms. Maybe that is wrong of me, I have always been on the fence about that. At about 12 or 13 they start picking out their own, and by then they are "indoctrinated" into my ideas of classy vs. tacky clothes. Again, possibly I am squelching their individuality...but I have to be seen with them, lol. I do have many, MANY other outlets available for their individual creative expression. This does not work for my dd. I can buy a few basics without approval. If I brought home a dress that wasn't approved of, it just wouldn't be worn without a major battle. I have enough battles with this particular kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Make them sign a statement that the are dressing contrary to maternal advice and have been fully advised of the likelihood of regret. Then take lots of family photos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicianmom Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I just had to tell dd6 that I refused to spend my money on a particularly tacky dress at Kohl's. In a hilarious case of awkwardness, another mom was in the girls' department getting her young daughter that very dress. And that family kept showing up in the other departments we went to: shoes, etc. I was so afraid one of my kids would notice and say "mom, you said that dress was ugly, but they're buying it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 One of my favorite outfits when I was 10 or 11 was a hot pink bubble skirt/skort with a matching geometric-print top. I wish I had a photo. I went into the dressing room with DD8 and a bunch dresses that she picked out recently (I vetoed at least two immediately without even taking them in to try on). To my surprise, we mostly agreed on which dresses were cute and fit well and which ones did not. There was one she really liked that I thought was on the garish end of the spectrum, but fortunately she fell in love with a different one that was also my favorite. DD12 never wears dresses—and neither do I except for the company Christmas party—so I don't go dress shopping very often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I have a similar, yet different problem. My DD is drawn to "tacky old lady" styles. I'd much prefer she went with typical young girl "loud and proud" than the lacy, frilly, garish flowery fugliness of some of the things she wants. It amazes me that some of these things can actually even be found in stores, and I'm not talking about Goodwill, either. So, we stick with yoga pants, shorts, and t-shirts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 At that age I let her have a say in what she was wearing. There area few things I would say no to, like nothing that is impossible to clean at home, nothing that I have to iron, nothing that is too short, etc. It was hard for me to let go and realize that she has her own style and ideas on what she likes and thinks looks nice. Now at 13 she refuses to wear dresses at all unless she has no other choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I have three girls. I can relate. Fortunately, most of the time, they are more than happy with hand me downs, or whatever I pick up on sale and put in their drawers. However, left to their own devices, they'd pick the same type of thing-flashy, cheap, and just ugly. So. What I've started doing is taking them to a consignment store (like Once Upon A Child or Kid to Kid) and allowing them to pick their crazy dresses from there. Usually I can even point them in the direction of the sale rack without them knowing it lol. Then I go and pick out the nicer classic dress I prefer (either from the consignment store or a regular store). This way, everyone gets to pick and I'm not our a ridiculous amount of money for cheaply made, ugly dresses. I'm pretty sure I've never paid more than $8 for second hand dresses, and even that amount is rare. Usually it's closer to $5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 If I bring something home, mine love whatever I bring. If they go shopping with me: it looks like they are prepping for the tv my big fatgypsy wedding tv show. Horrible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2OandE Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My dd is 11 and I'm hopeful it's a stage. The plan that is working for us is we do all clothing shopping at once. I get a couple vetoes and she gets one as well. This past week she chose I outfit I didn't care for and I'm ok with it. She's an individual. As far s special occasion I pick season neutral dresses that we agree on. We don't buy something specifically for the holiday. I'd rather get my monies worth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I love the crazy outfits my dd9 puts together. It's fun. Are they my taste? No. But I love that she is an individual and has her own flair. However, I did help pick out her dress to attend a family wedding recently. I gave her a few choices. She chose. No battle. I did the same for her brother's graduation last year. But church? Everyday? I let her go wild. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I vote for your daughters picks!! I was just like them at that age. Maybe I still am....... My daughter on the other hand is the complete opposite of me. My mother and I did battle over my clothing choices vs. hers. To this day she hates my clothes and I hate hers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Let's see. This week my 9 year old has worn 1) A plaid flannel with jeans and a stocking cap with her long hair sticking out (Channeling 1990s Seattle). and 2) A long sleeve t-shirt with a snarling wolf, outerspace leggings with hot pink and blue striped knee socks and boots. I absolutely love it. I love that she doesn't care what other people wear. I suppose if we were going somewhere, like a wedding, where what she was wearing could possibly reflect some sort of disrespect for her hosts, then I would ask her to change. But only then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songsparrow Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I have let my daughters choose their special outfit dresses since they've been able to express their opinions. They have to be within the realm of reasonable and appropriate for the season and venue, of course. They have chosen many that would have not been my first idea or choice, but they always ended up looking pretty and - what was most important to me - they were happy and felt wonderful and thrilled to wear their new outfits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 With limits, I let the kids select their own clothes starting about age 8. The limits have to do with fit and the amount of skin showing and cost - nothing too tight or too huge or that won't pass in church. I have one kid who is still all about "just buy me something in my size, Mom", but the others choose their own and look just fine. Though - I will admit to bribing older DD to get her to wear a matching dress with little DD when she thought she was "too old" for that sort of thing. It was for pictures and it looked great and only cost me a chocolate milkshake if I remember correctly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I like to have a say in what my daughters wear. If we can't agree, we try something else until we get something that both of us like. It usually works out just fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted April 9, 2014 Author Share Posted April 9, 2014 If I bring something home, mine love whatever I bring. If they go shopping with me: it looks like they are prepping for the tv my big fatgypsy wedding tv show. Horrible! That's how mine are. They almost always love everything I get them and I don't usually ask much because we do all of our shopping online and they get bored. I know they would have liked any of the ones I had proposed if I hadn't let them "window shop" at other styles. Sometimes when I let them look I really wonder if they tell me they like something just to mess with me. DD wants to be a fashion designer and usually comes up with nice stuff in her drawings, when she sews for her dolls, and even when she combines things at home. But picking things from the store? How can she do so well on her own and so poorly when she's using money? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 As long as it's not inappropriate I say let it go. Chances are in time her sense if style will mesh with yours, it can take some trial and error on her part but she will get there. I do empathize with having to be seen with what you consider tacky clothes, but given a chance she should outgrow the phase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 When we recently got hand-me-downs, my dd was immediately drawn to the completely sequined skirt. If she could, she'd be sequined from head to toe. She came down one day in a rainbow striped shirt and a different shade of rainbow zebra print skirt. I asked her if she thought she matched and she said, "well, yeah, they're both rainbow!" I digress. I am SOOO Type-A, "matchy-perfect" (in the words of others :glare: ) that this is a way that I can connect to my dd, by letting her express herself through her clothes. She has wild, crazy, curly hair, and it's just something that people expect from her now. I draw the line at things I think are too short or exposing too much skin - and even that would be different from many people's opinions. Because I'm pretty free about this with her, if there is an opportunity where I want her to wear something specific, she doesn't give me any problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 :lol: I think it's kind of fun to see the outfits that kids those ages put together. (My kids are older now.) I really don't see a problem w/ Sparkle Ballroom Easter (even though I'm not a glitter kind of girl myself). To me, all that creative dressing just shows the joy of children & the joy they have in colors & patterns & textures. Maybe you're raising the next Dame Vivienne Westwood. My dc have always been pretty tame in their dressing (though dd did go through the sparkly, girly, red Dorothy shoes stage for awhile when younger). I, otoh, love stripes (which she hated & refused to wear). When I had my ds, I thought I would be able to get my stripe addiction out on him but he doesn't like striped shirts either. :glare: (I, myself, am wearing two different striped shirts today.) I keep thinking ds would look good w/ punk hair (I sported a pretty good version of it myself back in the '80s) & keep trying to talk him into it. No go. Sigh. Kids. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I'm in the "just buy things and bring them home" camp. The kids rarely shop with me, but when we are together I take a pass through the girls' section, where I encourage them to give me an idea of the things they like, so I can learn their taste but we don't buy anything that trip. They've never not loved the things I pick, but I don't pick what they would have. I select things I think are cute and nice in my own eyes, while leaning towards things I know will have at least some appeal to their simplistic tacky preferences. My older one (9) seems to be developing a taste for things with a military or sailor sort of look to them (like a pea coat, not like fatigues) -- which does look good on her, so I'm encouraging it. My younger one (6) is very much still in the 'sugary pretty' zone that the girls' market seems to be made for... but she does like polka dots and primary colours too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My little girl isn't so little anymore, but my MIL tends to shop sales and will find really nice stuff. Her taste is classic feminine, so there's not the "over the top" sort of thing that DD might have chosen when she was younger. If it comes from a grandmother, it's more likely to be accepted. But yes, sometimes kids are hilariously garish in the things they choose! I am pretty laid-back about what they wear for regular outings, even if it's crazy, but I will find a gentle way to insist that they tone things down for special occasions like Easter and weddings. I thought I probably wouldn't have clothing issues with boys, or at least that I'd be arguing with them to put on something decent with no holes. No, my small fashionistas got it in their heads one year (they were 4 and 7) that they needed button-down shirts and ties for Thanksgiving dinner. TG is usually nice-casual, like a casual skirt or even nice jeans, and a nice top or sweater, but they insisted upon ties. They did look smashing. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I'm trying to get DDs a new dress for Easter. I selected several lovely, age appropriate, and classic possibilities. They didn't like any of them and instead kept pointing out the tackiest things. I like linen and cotton; they like rayon and polyester. I like classic, tasteful styles, they like flashy. I like spring colors (for Easter, you know!), they're going for gothic Christmas party or Sugar Candy Pink Sparkle overload. I like dressy casual, they like ballroom. They are only 10....it can only get worse, right? I'm so torn. Do I give in and let them have one of their picks or do I pick what I KNOW will look best? Why did I even ask them? I could buy both- and hope they see for themselves when they get here. Gently, lovingly, with ZERO snark or ill-will: About what you "KNOW" will look best... I suspect you really mean: "What *I* (Mom) really like." I spent my entire life, even NOW, at age 45, with completely opposite taste from my Mom. In just about everything- leisure activities, clothing, furniture, food, friends, pets, hairstyles, you name it. Not fun- living my life feeling like I would never receive a compliment or approval for anything other than what she liked. One of our biggest fights ever was over what I could wear for my Senior pictures. Yes, I STILL remember that battle. :crying: Of course, I have different taste than my girls... but mostly that Sweet Middle Child. :laugh: She loves things that I can't stand, and she is actually the more conservative, classic, almost preppy style. (haha I was an 80s New Wave Punk.) :coolgleamA: Anyway- for my girls, our deal always was, and still is, for MAJOR THINGS like family portraits, weddings and funerals Mom needed to approve it- and most likely, pick it. Anything else- church, Christmas, Easter, family dinners, their individual pictures- as long as it's appropriate to the weather/season and event then just about anything goes. They can buy any clothing they want with their own money. Honestly? It's just as likely they'll look back at their "nice Mom-approved dresses" and laugh at how hideous they are as they will be embarrassed by their sequined Extravaganzas. And FWIW, BabyBaby's absolute favorite dress ever was a hoodie-sweatshirt dress from Gap that we bought at Goodwill. She wore that thing to death... until she literally could not squeeze into it anymore. Editing to add: The dress Diamond wore to her graduation party had both skulls and flamingoes on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I have the opposite problem. My teen told me yesterday that I have the fashion sense of a Chinese toddler. I was wearing: Capri yoga pants - I's just finished a dance class Patterned wool socks - they were fine with the jeans I had on in the morning A big purple sweater - I was cold and threw on the first thing I could find Taupe moccasins - I was grilling and went with slip-on shoes. Dd17 didn't see this outfit evolve during the day. She just saw me at the grill in this get up. After dinner I went to another class in this outfit (minus the moccasins. I changed to sneakers.) I told my story there. The one Chinese student confirmed my daughter's initial assessment :-/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicianmom Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Here's the dress dd6 wanted. http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1694291/iz-amy-byer-asymmetrical-glitter-dress-girls-7-16.jsp Before you say "that's not so bad," understand that the colors were a lot more vivid (garish) in the store, and the glitter was cranked to 11. And the design is totally wrong for her still toddler-like body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I have the opposite problem. My teen told me yesterday that I have the fashion sense of a Chinese toddler. I was wearing: Capri yoga pants - I's just finished a dance class Patterned wool socks - they were fine with the jeans I had on in the morning A big purple sweater - I was cold and threw on the first thing I could find Taupe moccasins - I was grilling and went with slip-on shoes. Dd17 didn't see this outfit evolve during the day. She just saw me at the grill in this get up. After dinner I went to another class in this outfit (minus the moccasins. I changed to sneakers.) I told my story there. The one Chinese student confirmed my daughter's initial assessment :-/ Once my Mom picked me up as in getting out of the car from highschool wearing.... cordory red capri pants with a brown butt stain from sitting on the ground. A t-shirt saying, "Men, the root of all problems, Menstration, Menopause..." covered in paint. A plastic viking hat. (Her hair was messy so she covered it with a hat. :p) and her usual red long hair. She did usually dress fine, and spent decades working in jewelry shops or fancy dress shops. But very occasional she just put on what she put on when she was working around the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I have the opposite problem. My teen told me yesterday that I have the fashion sense of a Chinese toddler. I was wearing: Capri yoga pants - I's just finished a dance class Patterned wool socks - they were fine with the jeans I had on in the morning A big purple sweater - I was cold and threw on the first thing I could find Taupe moccasins - I was grilling and went with slip-on shoes. Dd17 didn't see this outfit evolve during the day. She just saw me at the grill in this get up. After dinner I went to another class in this outfit (minus the moccasins. I changed to sneakers.) I told my story there. The one Chinese student confirmed my daughter's initial assessment :-/ ROFL! That is hilarious. And very similar to my own fashion sense. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I don't have girls, but I do have photos of me in some bizarre outfits when I was a kid. Oh, I thought I was so glamorous! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 This whole thread is cracking me up. I've never said much one way or the other about what my kids have chosen to wear. They have their own styles & that's ok w/ me. I always had my own sense of style too & my mom was pretty open to allowing most things. She sometimes didn't like my choices (esp. as I got older) & I still take it as a compliment if we're shopping together, I try on something, & she says it's ugly. :lol: Because then I totally know it's my style. LOL. (I do still remember being forced to wear a blouse w/ those ties at the neck when I was in first grade & I hated it. I messed with it all day & it looked like a weird clump by the time my school photo was taken. I've never worn a blouse w/ ties ever since.) See, kids never get over this stuff (even when we're grown-ups)! And lol at the moms embarrassing their kids w/ their mom-clothing choices. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My girls pick out all their own clothes. They are 11 and 14 and have been doing that for a few years now. Yes, sometimes they pick out things I do not like but I keep my mouth shut because I'm not the one having to wear it. I'm also one who doesn't really buy them clothes if they're not with me. I can pick out a shirt or two, but pants/jeans size and fit run so different that I can't pick those out for them anymore (same with shoes). I will be taking mine shopping for Easter clothes next weekend. Oldest hates dresses so she will probably just pick out a nice new outfit. Youngest loves dresses and I never know what will catch her eye, so I'm sure it will be interesting. The other day youngest had on a weird sweater with capri tights and she then threw on boots. The tights were above the boots and the boots just looked so odd and didn't seem to go with the outfit at all. I mentioned she might want to change shoes but she said she was good. I survived the outing with her and no one seemed to look twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I just bought Easter dresses from amazon for my girls. I picked out a few styles for each girl, then I let them chose from them. I know, I'm not much fun. :) they do love them, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I just had to tell dd6 that I refused to spend my money on a particularly tacky dress at Kohl's. In a hilarious case of awkwardness, another mom was in the girls' department getting her young daughter that very dress. And that family kept showing up in the other departments we went to: shoes, etc. I was so afraid one of my kids would notice and say "mom, you said that dress was ugly, but they're buying it!" Kohls' girls department is the worst! I was complaining about how ticky-tacky the girls clothing is and one family at church said they found lots of things for their girls there and looked very puzzled----but their girls all wore fully sequined outfits to church, so I didn't say another word! I sort of compromised with Dd. She got a serious talk about clothing after we had several long 'discussions' in the store. We went home with nothing that day. I was tired of the arguing, so at home we had a talk that she absolutely will not be allowed to buy anything I veto. I will allow some clothing that goes with the tacky trend as long as it is within my guidelines, and she has to pick out some items that have a classic look. I let her grandmother buy some jeans from H&M with a very subtle leopard print as long as they weren't ridiculously tight. I do think where you shop can have a big influence on choices. At Kohls she picked out tacky everything, but last year at the Lands End section of Sears, she went crazy on classic looking clothing--and she could see the difference. Cost was a factor for us too. I had a merchandise credit at Kohls and was hoping to pick up a couple of basics. I would only agree to clearance items b/c the credit meant I got no percentage off since I wasn't using my kohl's charge. 't can't really afford new clothes this year though. We were blessed with finding a bunch of summer clothing at our local thrift shop that was within my decency guidelines and yet came from stores like American Eagle ---and a whole summer wardrobe cost me $20! I'm glad to be done with Kohls! If you don't have to bra shop for a girl who is just beginning to show, be very thankful, that's even worse than dealing with all the junk clothing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Make them sign a statement that the are dressing contrary to maternal advice and have been fully advised of the likelihood of regret. Then take lots of family photos. :iagree: Absolutely! My DD (also 10) is finally starting to outgrow her '80's gothic stage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I don't do serious talks, and I don't try to change kids' minds about *them* liking stuff. I just don't buy things unless we *both* like it, so all I need to decide is whether I like it or not. I don't even need a reason. If it just doesn't appeal to me, that's fine -- taste in clothing is a personal thing. We just treat it as a double-positive decision... Which is good practice for decision making too, I think. A lot of people struggle with the idea of a double-positive model of decision making, and I wish their parents had just chosen some random thing that was going to be double-positive, just to get them used to the concept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I don't do serious talks, and I don't try to change kids' minds about *them* liking stuff. I just don't buy things unless we *both* like it, so all I need to decide is whether I like it or not. I don't even need a reason. If it just doesn't appeal to me, that's fine -- taste in clothing is a personal thing. We just treat it as a double-positive decision... Which is good practice for decision making too, I think. A lot of people struggle with the idea of a double-positive model of decision making, and I wish their parents had just chosen some random thing that was going to be double-positive, just to get them used to the concept. I basically do the same. My serious talk was more about 'you will not be begging and pleading with me in a store again.' Dd has developed a begging problem to the point that other people are beginning to notice. I'm not quite sure when it started, though I think I can see the influence of dc's friend. I'm not going to stand there trying to decide which clothes I'll agree on while I have the soundtrack of Dd begging for background. Our next trip out was much more productive--and without begging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted April 9, 2014 Author Share Posted April 9, 2014 Gently, lovingly, with ZERO snark or ill-will: About what you "KNOW" will look best... I suspect you really mean: "What *I* (Mom) really like." Of course. Mother knows best. ;) I don't mind so much on the tacky for every day wear, or even regular church wear. When I'm talking about looking best, I'm thinking of all the kids standing together for the traditional Easter picture w/ grandparents and stuff. I want the kids to be perfectly coordinated without being matchy matchy. I know what DS and little DD will wear and that they are similar fabrics and color schemes. I know what I am wearing and it will blend in with the rest of our immediate and extended families. I've known the day will come when they won't all let me coordinate them anymore. And really, it's not so much about them looking perfect as looking equal, and most of their choices are not appropriate for the setting anyway. I remember wanting some over the top pink, ruffly, poofy, Southern Belle type dress as a kid too. My mom refused. I thought her style was boring and was incredibly jealous of the girls who got to wear stuff like that. I have become my mother. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shukriyya Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Let's see. This week my 9 year old has worn 1) A plaid flannel with jeans and a stocking cap with her long hair sticking out (Channeling 1990s Seattle). and 2) A long sleeve t-shirt with a snarling wolf, outerspace leggings with hot pink and blue striped knee socks and boots. I absolutely love it. I love that she doesn't care what other people wear. I suppose if we were going somewhere, like a wedding, where what she was wearing could possibly reflect some sort of disrespect for her hosts, then I would ask her to change. But only then. I think my 9 year old self is rocking the bolded somewhere in a parallel universe :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 :iagree: Absolutely! My DD (also 10) is finally starting to outgrow her '80's gothic stage. And there is a problem with 80s gothic? :lol: :lol: :coolgleamA: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berta Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Here's the dress dd6 wanted. http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1694291/iz-amy-byer-asymmetrical-glitter-dress-girls-7-16.jsp Before you say "that's not so bad," understand that the colors were a lot more vivid (garish) in the store, and the glitter was cranked to 11. And the design is totally wrong for her still toddler-like body. I think my daughter picked out that same one lol.. no, she didn't get it. She is NOT a girly girl, hates pink and anything princess, but OMG does she love gaudy, tacky and sparkly. She wears a dress all the time when she isn't in her karate gi. If it's blue or yellow and sparkles, she wants it. This is the dress we settled on. It's blue, sparkly and has an uneven hemline. I think it's cute, she thinks it's a bit "tame" but loves it. THIS was her first choice: http://www.amazon.com/Amy-Byer-Girls-Glitter-Pleated/dp/B00CEP1UCQ/ref=sr_1_230?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1397094481&sr=1-230 I thought this one was cute and would satisfy her need for silky and glitter, but they didn't have the green in her size. http://www.amazon.com/Zeagoo-Clothes-Chiffon-Pleated-Sleeveless/dp/B00IT9TTII/ref=sr_1_10?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1397094988&sr=1-10&keywords=chiffon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 I have to say that my dd7 would LOVE those first two dresses you posted and would probably look really good in them. She's got a dancer/model type body and can pull off things like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strange_girl Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 My daughter (like me) would happily live in yoga pants and t-shirts for 90% of her life. Otherwise I hold up five choices that I like and she gets to choose the one she likes best. Everyone is happy. My 4-year-old son, on the other hand, INSISTS on wearing dress pants, button-down shirt, belt, AND tie to church. Sometimes a suit coat if he sees them hanging in his closet. The boy is like a walking Baby Gap commercial or something! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Here's the dress dd6 wanted. http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1694291/iz-amy-byer-asymmetrical-glitter-dress-girls-7-16.jsp Before you say "that's not so bad," understand that the colors were a lot more vivid (garish) in the store, and the glitter was cranked to 11. And the design is totally wrong for her still toddler-like body. It looks like a Care Bear threw up! Once my Mom picked me up as in getting out of the car from highschool wearing.... cordory red capri pants with a brown butt stain from sitting on the ground. A t-shirt saying, "Men, the root of all problems, Menstration, Menopause..." covered in paint. A plastic viking hat. (Her hair was messy so she covered it with a hat. :p) and her usual red long hair. She did usually dress fine, and spent decades working in jewelry shops or fancy dress shops. But very occasional she just put on what she put on when she was working around the house. Maybe it's a redhead thing? My poor, blonde daughter. ROFL! That is hilarious. And very similar to my own fashion sense. :D Does it make it better or worse that I KNEW I looked ridiculous but I didn't care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 If I find out that any of you ladies let my DD know that some kids pick out their own clothes I'll be so mad. She has an understanding that clothing just magically appears on her bed after I've been out shopping. If it fits then she wears it. Some clothes don't come out of the closet as often as others but most of the time she looks nice. At least to my old lady self. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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