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For those that pray for others......Update-she's going weird--


Lara in Colo
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She did the right thing (after I forced the issue and physically drove her around town to insure she couldn't back out)

 

I am no longer on the hook for about 200,000.00 of her debt.   The lender took the deal we offered (which she kept being "weird" and not keeping promises and making strange statements in meetings)

 

The paperwork isn't signed, but I think this will happen.

 

Thank you ladies for your very much needed and appreciated support.

My faith wavers daily and it got a huge bolster today!

 

 

So--- back to my own  (very large financial) problems!!!

 

 

Lara

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Well, she is starting to go all weird about the paperwork.

 

Pray she holds it together until Wed when we sign them.

I really tried to have it all done on the same day (last Wed,) but I couldn't arrange it. 

Now she has had the time to think and is getting mad and just weird .

 

Please pray she keeps it together.

 

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You know, I was sort of hoping I could get that book about boundaries and have some sort of relationship with her-- but I don't know.

She is just too disruptive to my life.

I was thinking the other night about how everyone always leaves me holding the bag (literally!! LOL)

When I was little my brother moved out (twice) and left me alone with her.

My dad, stepdad and uncle--- they leave and I am the one who has to help her.

I don't know if I can stay sane much longer if I am the one who is the fall guy.

Just the thought of this still happening in two, five, ten years is enough to make we want to jump off the roof.

 

I really think that God hates me.

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Stay calm. Don't overtalk this with her.

 

Can you plan something "fun" for signing day? Take her for tea before or do something she specifically considers a real treat? Take her a bag of groceries?

 

Bribery can go a long way. If you get the papers signed, it will be well worth spending some time pandering to her craziness.

 

Praying.

 

:grouphug:

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I think Harriet is on to something there. Treat her like royalty on the way to signing, pander, be grateful.

 

and then after, maybe it's time to distance yourself, it sounds like being the fall guy is too much on you- maybe it's time to walk away, after you've gotten this signed.

{{hugs}}

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It's not about making her feel good-- I don't think.  She threw away a piece of property and now feels like she is being "cheated".

Last week she was desperate and cornered, now she has had time to think and is feeling persecuted. It's sort of like taking the puss off a wound and you start feeling better so you don't go and get it lanced.

Her borderline issues are mainly about feeling "less" or a failure and all of her failures have been her doing (like this one).

 

Honestly, the biggest thing I have going for me is that she likes the lender's attorney and I think she wouldn't want to look like a loser in front of him.  (she keeps talking about hiring him for other stuff)  (see me rolling my eyes?)

 

What I am going through right now is the unfairness of being the only one who gets stuck with her during the really bad stuff.

Last week her friend who has been "helping" with the issue (but actually making it worse by feeding her what she wants to hear) finally decided to just walk away (at the 11th hour)  so I had to "make it happen".  Just like when the others in my life have also done that.  You see, they just walk away and I was either too young or (like now) too stuck to move and either way she would just follow me so I would have to move to China to get far enough away.

So once again, I have to do "the hard work" of separating myself.  You see, brother just moved, (in her mind) and I will have to set emotional boundaries and be the bad guy when she calls and needs help with   **whatever**.  The weird thing is when she wants someone to blame, its always me.  She went on a four hour rant a couple of weeks ago about how I never help her-- and I took it so I could get this deal signed. 

 

Sigh

bigger sigh

 

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