Should I respond?

[dakarimom5]

Yesterday on Facebook I posted something that has been on my mind for a long time. To paraphrase, I basically said that the children I have now are not what I would have if they were in ps. And then I offered to be available to anyone thinking about homeschooling. My sil responded with how offended she was about me slamming ps, because some people (her) can't homeschool. And btw she still loves me.

 

I want to tell her that if certain people made better life choices they could homeschool. But I really want to say that I was trying to be supportive to other homeschooling parents and that I wasn't trying to start drama. So if I should say something, what or should I ignore her?

[Pippen]

If you decide to respond, I'd definitely do so away from Facebook so as to avoid carrying out any drama there.

 

Mentioning making better life choices will inflame the situation--no need to even go there.

[NotSoObvious]

I would apologize and remove your post. I also wouldn't post anything like that on the future. That would anger most people on my FB.

[oceanseve]

I was trying to be supportive to other homeschooling parents

 

- There ya go. One sentence. I might add "or those considering homeschooling." to the end, but either way that's all I would say. Don't get sucked into the drama.

[Just Kate]

I don't think you should say anything about people making better life choices. Nothing good will come from that and it's hurtful. For the record, I long to homeschool, but I have to work. I had to put my kids in school this year and it broke my heart (although it has gone very well, so I have decided that my plans are not God's plans!). Anyway, maybe dh's and my bad choices led us to this spot where I have to work. Or maybe it was bad luck. Or maybe a combination. If someone had pointed out our bad choices though, I am quite sure I would be so hurt that I wouldn't even know how to get over it.

 

I think homeschooling is great. I really, really do. But I am positive that it isn't the only way to have great kids. No way, no how.

 

I also think its great that you want to support others who are considering homeschooling. But please remember that it's not what is the best for every family.

[Word Nerd]

I'm sure my kids would be different in some ways if we were still homeschooling, as there are benefits and weaknesses in both educational methods. However, they are still essentially the same kids they were before—as am I even though I am no longer a homeschool mom. I'm guessing that when you said it, you were only thinking of the ways your kids would have been negatively influenced by public schooling and not any of the positive ways they might be different. I find that way of thinking rather arrogant and presumptuous, and I don't think you should be surprised that people might react negatively depending on how you worded your post. If you don't want drama, don't start it. Support for homeschoolers does not require tearing down the choices of others. I don't know how you worded it and you may not have done that at all. However, given what you said in the OP it may have been perceived that way.

[sparrow]

Unless you have a very small and like-minded group of FB friends, I don't think this is the best thing to post. I would apologize to SIL for making her feel bad and remove the post. I think it's hurtful.

 

It's great that homeschooling works for you! It works for us, too. Believe me, if someone is interested in homeschooling, they will ask you about it. You don't need to advertize that you're available.

[*Lulu*]

Yesterday on Facebook I posted something that has been on my mind for a long time. To paraphrase, I basically said that the children I have now are not what I would have if they were in ps. And then I offered to be available to anyone thinking about homeschooling. My sil responded with how offended she was about me slamming ps, because some people (her) can't homeschool. And btw she still loves me.

 

I want to tell her that if certain people made better life choices they could homeschool. But I really want to say that I was trying to be supportive to other homeschooling parents and that I wasn't trying to start drama. So if I should say something, what or should I ignore her?

 

Your post probably came across as slamming to everyone who is not already homeschooling or inclined that direction. The fact that you think better choices equals homeschooling says a lot about your feelings and that probably came though in your post.

 

IIWY, I would post something in the vein of the following:

 

I just wanted to share how happy we are with our family's decision to homeschool and to encourage those who are considering it. I realize it came across poorly, sorry for the offense.

[SKL]

You basically said that your sil's kids are rotten, since it's by looking at PS kids that you determined how much better your homeschooled kids are. (Or that is how it will be read, which is all that matters on facebook.) So I agree - apologize privately for not choosing your words well and delete the post. And frankly even I'm offended by the "choices" comment you were tempted to make. Not every child is better off being homeschooled IMO. For all you know your SIL thinks some of your parenting choices are irresponsible, but she has the decency not to say so to your face or on facebook. Typing a value/judgment comment on facebook requires that you individually consider the feelings of all of the "friends" who will see the comments.

[happi duck]

Another vote for apologize and remove the post.

[Chelli]

You're trying to shut the barn door after the cow's already out. Whether you meant it that way or not, your post automatically sets up a good/bad scenario. My kids are homeschooled = good. Your kids are in the ps = bad. Apologize on Facebook (because I can guarantee you probably offended more people than your sister) and remove the post.

 

:grouphug:

[Mom-ninja.]

I don't proselytize homeschooling or any other aspect of family life style choices. I would remove the post. I honestly don't see what the purpose was of you posting it.

[annandatje]

Yesterday on Facebook I posted something that has been on my mind for a long time. To paraphrase, I basically said that the children I have now are not what I would have if they were in ps. And then I offered to be available to anyone thinking about homeschooling. My sil responded with how offended she was about me slamming ps, because some people (her) can't homeschool. And btw she still loves me.

 

I want to tell her that if certain people made better life choices they could homeschool. But I really want to say that I was trying to be supportive to other homeschooling parents and that I wasn't trying to start drama. So if I should say something, what or should I ignore her?

 

No, you definitely should not respond.

 

In fact, you should not tell her under any circumstances "if certain people made better life choices..." at all. That comes across as pretty judgmental. Perhaps she regretfully knows she is not cut out for homeschooling. There is no shame in acknowledging one's limitations. Maybe if she persists with the "I wish I could homeschool," you could gently ask her what constructive changes and sacrifices she could make in her life to make homeschooling happen.

 

Besides, how your children would have fared in public school is all speculation anyway unless they have spent a significant amount of time in public school. My guess is that you are a responsible nurturing parent, and your kids would grow into responsible generous knowledgable people regardless of education route you chose.

[Trish]

Another of my growing list of reasons to avoid Facebook.

 

Either apologize or just let it go.

 

Sorry it didn't turn out the way you intended!

[poppy]

I would apologize and say it was about the joy you have for your kids, and was not meant as a judgement about her kids.

I definitely would not post anything like "If certain people made better life choices....." because that is really condescending and smug.

You meant it to be a positive thing, so keep it positive.

[regentrude]

To paraphrase, I basically said that the children I have now are not what I would have if they were in ps. And then I offered to be available to anyone thinking about homeschooling.

 

I see nothing wrong with that. I do not interpret this as slammping ps.

 

I want to tell her that if certain people made better life choices they could homeschool.

 

Ouch. This is judgmental and presumptuous.

 

But I really want to say that I was trying to be supportive to other homeschooling parents and that I wasn't trying to start drama. So if I should say something, what or should I ignore her?

 

Ignore.

[Remudamom]

Your post sounded judgmental to me. I'd take it off and apologize.

[Tita Gidge]

I'd have to read your actual words to know if your SIL was justified in her upset; your paraphrase, as presented, doesn't sound bad but ... paraphrasing it from your intentions might skew how it actually presented to your audience. The gist of your post seems harmless enough, but word choice matters. A lot. I believe your intentions were good, and that you had no desire to hurt anyone's feelings.

 

I believe some people are very easily offended. Sometimes it's because they respect those they feel are slamming them, sometimes it's because they're struggling at a crossroads and are set off by something seemingly innocuous, sometimes they're just wussies. Only you know where your SIL is coming from on this one.

 

I like BLA5's idea. No need to remove the post, it won't remove the waves it's caused. Better to address it heads on, apologize for any unintentionally hurt feelings and re-state your thoughts better. The key is to do this with empathy, and not come across as holier-than-thou as you did in your OP. Again, I think your intentions are good but your delivery needs work. Your words aren't coming across the way in the way you (hopefully) want them to. That's a technical issue, and is much easier to fix than is an attitude issue :)

 

It's hard to be so gung-ho about something without getting slightly obnoxious about it. So many of us are guilty of the same, on a variety of issues. It's about learning how to temper our enthusiasm in a way that's conducive to our cause. You meant no harm, but since you know you caused some ... address it. This is your SIL and hopefully that family relationship is worth eating a little crow and owning that your delivery was off.

[QueenCat]

Better life choices? No. That's extremely judgmental. And no, it is not always "better life choices" that make people not choose homeschooling. Better and different are NOT the same. Just because one chooses more money (by presumably having both parents working) and public school does not make them worse than you choosing less money and homeschooling. Just different.

[El...]

Facebook is hard. I think one of its problems is that when we post, we don't have an audience in mind: it is just "the people I know/like" in general. I bet if you were writing a note to your sister, you never would have said any such thing; it wasn't targeted to her at all. I have a VERY hard time refraining from too much wit on facebook, but I have to remember that people I'm not thinking about right now are reading along and my idea of snarky repartee (or even bracing logic) would probably offend some people I love and respect.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Some people don't want to homeschool and are very proud of their children who go to school. That type of post is a good way to find out which of your friends and relatives fit those categories.

 

It's kind of a competitive line of thought, isn't it?

[Lisa R.]

Yesterday on Facebook I posted something that has been on my mind for a long time. To paraphrase, I basically said that the children I have now are not what I would have if they were in ps. And then I offered to be available to anyone thinking about homeschooling. My sil responded with how offended she was about me slamming ps, because some people (her) can't homeschool. And btw she still loves me.

 

I want to tell her that if certain people made better life choices they could homeschool. But I really want to say that I was trying to be supportive to other homeschooling parents and that I wasn't trying to start drama. So if I should say something, what or should I ignore her?

 

My two oldest children were homeschooled and never set foot in a public school classroom.

 

I am very hard to offend.

 

I find your attitude and what you posted on FB offensive. Your attitude and statement started drama. This is not SIL's problem. The fact that you are even considering letting her know that "if she had made different choices she could homeschool" is astonishing.

 

Even if it is not homeschool-related, bragging about yourself and then offering to give others advice on how they can copy your example--is really not okay.

 

I'd offer an apology on FB underneath your statement.

[Luanne]

You basically said that your sil's kids are rotten, since it's by looking at PS kids that you determined how much better your homeschooled kids are. (Or that is how it will be read, which is all that matters on facebook.) So I agree - apologize privately for not choosing your words well and delete the post. And frankly even I'm offended by the "choices" comment you were tempted to make. Not every child is better off being homeschooled IMO. For all you know your SIL thinks some of your parenting choices are irresponsible, but she has the decency not to say so to your face or on facebook. Typing a value/judgment comment on facebook requires that you individually consider the feelings of all of the "friends" who will see the comments.

 

You and the SIL must have a lot in common... you both like to read stuff into stuff that isn't even there just so you can be offended.

[Catwoman]

Well, it's your FB page, so you can post whatever you want to post, and people can either deal with it or stop visiting your page. Your SIL had no right to be offended, as you weren't calling her out directly in your post, so I would just completely ignore her response and let it go.

 

I have no objection to what you said, based on the way you paraphrased it, but I wish you would have posted exactly what you wrote. The only reason I say this is because you came across a being quite judgmental when you said here that you wanted to tell her that, "if certain people made better life choices they could homeschool," and I think you would be completely out of line to say something like that, so I'm wondering if the actual words and phrases you used in your FB post may have caused others to misinterpret your intentions.

 

Whatever the case, I think you should let it go and forget about it. Someone is always going to be offended about something, and in this case, your words weren't even directed at your SIL, so if she was upset, I think it's her problem, not yours. If you want to address the situation, just post that you were sorry she was offended and that your post hadn't been directed toward her or her lovely children, but was, instead, a statement about how pleased you are to be homeschooling.

[catz]

You and the SIL must have a lot in common... you both like to read stuff into stuff that isn't even there just so you can be offended.

 

 

Since the OP was paraphrasing, I don't think we can determine that fully. If the SIL is that offended, maybe it's time to take a look at what the OP said. Only she knows that. I suspect since the first desired response is to tell SIL her lifestyle choices are bad, I doubt the original post was made with the best intentions. That line of posting on facebook would lead to an turn off my feed in pretty short order if I saw more than a couple posts like that. Even as a homeschooler that had a kid with a horrible PS experience.

 

Not everyone is cut out for homeschooling, which is fine. In my opinion, the #1 thing you need to be a successful homeschooler is a willing and enthusiastic homeschooling parent. If I am no longer that parents, we will look at sending the kids back. There are great kids that come out of PS and troubled kids that are homeschooled. I think if PS parents started posting along the same line, some of us would get quickly irritated.

 

How would this read on facebook to a homeschooler? Just thinking aloud here ...

"My children's lives are not what they were when they were homeschooled. PS is awesome! Call me for info!".

 

I think a post along these lines is fine ...

"Homeschooling has been a wonderful fit for our family and kids."

or

"I'm proud of what we've been able to do as a homeschooling family".

 

If judgment is made on other people's situation, not cool. A SIL is someone you're going to be dealing with for likely a LONG time. I'd be making nice in some way.

[dakarimom5]

First, I think I need to explain myself better. After all the problems my children had in ps I feel like I finally have my children back. My post was about that and to let people know I am praying for them. Also if they need info or support I am here.

 

I never had ANY intention to say anything about my sil's choices. I just had my fill of her nonsense this morning. I can't seem to win with her. If I do anything differently than she does I hear how I must not think she is doing it right. I am a stay at home so surely I feel she is not a good mother because she works. I have always tried to be supportive of her but her comeback is than why don't you do x like me.

 

I just posted here to find a way to respond to her in a supportive way but to still be supportive to other homeschoolers to. I guess I just didn't explain myself well enough.

[catz]

First, I think I need to explain myself better. After all the problems my children had in ps I feel like I finally have my children back. My post was about that and to let people know I am praying for them. Also if they need info or support I am here.

 

 

 

But why are you praying for them? To me that insinuates that your general facebook community has a problem that needs solving.

 

How about if a PS friend posted this ...

"I've gotten my children back after sending them back to PS. Our relationship is SO much better now. I'm praying for all you homeschooling parents - if I can help you, let me know".

 

I'm not sure I would take that tone well.

 

And truly, I do know a couple of families that attempted to homeschool and it was a battle of butting heads 24/7. Their kids and families have done better with a B&M school. There is no one size fits all in the world.

[*Lulu*]

I think facebook is medium that makes it nearly impossible to walk that fine line since a statement can be taken so many different ways without hearing the tone of the speaker.

 

If you have such a history of animosity from your SIL about your choices, maybe you should block her when you post about things you do not want to hear her opinion on.

 

I am not saying to never say anything that might possibly slightly ruffle her feathers, but Facebook may not be the place to take that stand. While you have a written record, you may have difficulty keeping the tone such that you maintain the high ground.

[kiwik]

The better choices is a bit on the nose. In a lot of cases the better choice would have been to pick a different husband or whatever but then you would have different kids, or a richer partner, or just one that wasn't luck enough not to get laid off, or who hated school himself or...

 

I work to support us, I can't afford to pay childcare on my wage so my oldest goes to school and my youngest to subsidised childcare. If I can ever sort it I will seriously consider home schooling but I can't now.

 

 

[HRAAB]

I think when we first start homeschooling, we can think it's the answer to all the problems of raising children. We can be so excited, and sometimes in sharing that excitement, we can sound very judgmental. I think you've found something that works much better for your children, and you want to let other people know how awesome it is. The problem is that it's very difficult to do that without sounding critical of someone else's choice, I probably made a few judgmental comments when I first started homeschooling. 18 years later, I know way better. Homeschooling isn't always the best answer, and I know many kids who have done fantastically with public school. It's sort of like breastfeeding, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, etc.: while it might be the most awesome thing ever in my experience, it might not work for others. On Facebook I treat quite a few parenting topics like I do religion and politics: taboo subjects.

 

I think I would apologize and then delete the post.

[dakarimom5]

 

 

But why are you praying for them? To me that insinuates that your general facebook community has a problem that needs solving.

 

How about if a PS friend posted this ...

"I've gotten my children back after sending them back to PS. Our relationship is SO much better now. I'm praying for all you homeschooling parents - if I can help you, let me know".

 

I'm not sure I would take that tone well.

 

And truly, I do know a couple of families that attempted to homeschool and it was a battle of butting heads 24/7. Their kids and families have done better with a B&M school. There is no one size fits all in the world.

 

 

I am praying for the homeschool parents. I have a few friends who are having a rough time and I was trying to be supportive.

[Garga]

Remove the post. Create a new status with an apology. What you posted was offensive. Here's why:

 

A. The children I have now are not what I would have if they were in ps.

B. I am available to anyone thinking about homeschooling.

 

When those two statements are written in the same post like that it indicates that you are pleased with the outcome of your children and that you attribute it to homeschooling.

 

If those above statements are true, then these statements below also appear to be true:

 

A. You believe that your children would not have turned out as well if they had been ps'd.

B. You believe that other people's children will not turn out as well unless they are homeschooled, otherwise you wouldn't have offered to help others start homeschooling.

 

And that last part is what people find offensive. The inference is that other people's children are not turning out as well as they could be because they are not homeschooled. No one likes it when someone infers that their children are not turning out well because of the way they parent or educate their children.

[Ellie]

Yesterday on Facebook I posted something that has been on my mind for a long time. To paraphrase, I basically said that the children I have now are not what I would have if they were in ps. And then I offered to be available to anyone thinking about homeschooling. My sil responded with how offended she was about me slamming ps, because some people (her) can't homeschool. And btw she still loves me.

 

I want to tell her that if certain people made better life choices they could homeschool. But I really want to say that I was trying to be supportive to other homeschooling parents and that I wasn't trying to start drama. So if I should say something, what or should I ignore her?

 

 

Well, see, *I* would not have posted anything like that.

 

Your friends all know that you hs, right? Well, if they want to know about hsing, they'll ask.

 

What you said sounded, IDK, condescending or something. I understand why your sil was offended. I understand that you meant well, but *I* don't see how your comments would be supportive of other homeschoolers, and I'm sort of surprised that you didn't think your comments would cause drama.

 

I'm not sure you should apologize, but yeah, I think you should remove the comment.

[maddykate]

It was your status update and your feelings and I wouldn't remove it, if I were you. You are perfectly entitled to writing whatever you want on your status and other people are perfectly entitled to interpret it however they choose. It is not your fault if someone took it the wrong way. I wouldn't offer any apologies, either. You can say what you want. I would, however, just let it die. No response at all.

 

I will just say that I H.A.T.E Facebook. I loathe it and this makes me so thankful that I no longer have to deal with this stuff.

[sparrow]

It was your status update and your feelings and I wouldn't remove it, if I were you. You are perfectly entitled to writing whatever you want on your status and other people are perfectly entitled to interpret it however they choose. It is not your fault if someone took it the wrong way. I wouldn't offer any apologies, either. You can say what you want. I would, however, just let it die. No response at all.

 

I will just say that I H.A.T.E Facebook. I loathe it and this makes me so thankful that I no longer have to deal with this stuff.

 

 

I find this to be such an odd response. I don't "deal" with anything on Facebook. If you don't post or respond to people in a way that you wouldn't speak to them face to face, you're golden.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It was your status update and your feelings and I wouldn't remove it, if I were you. You are perfectly entitled to writing whatever you want on your status and other people are perfectly entitled to interpret it however they choose. It is not your fault if someone took it the wrong way. I wouldn't offer any apologies, either. You can say what you want. I would, however, just let it die. No response at all.

 

I will just say that I H.A.T.E Facebook. I loathe it and this makes me so thankful that I no longer have to deal with this stuff.

 

 

Is that how you interact with your friends and family? You say what you want and people have to just take it or lump it? It doesn't seem to be a very good way to nurture relationships. Yes, sometimes people are too sensitive but sometimes people do have legitimate reason to be offended by what someone says. This is a pro homeschooling board and people have said that content of that post could be offensive as it was originally stated (or paraphrased - I got a bit confused there). The thing is that the message that the OP later said that she wanted to get across was not getting across. I think there were some good suggestions on how to get that message across in a better way. After all, isn't that the goal of the OP?

[dakarimom5]

Yes Jean! This has really gotten my mind going about how we come across on Facebook, or on the web in general. I think there is a lot of helpful info in this thread. Thanks everyone.

[elegantlion]

I feel like ds is a different child because we homeschool. However, I know that isn't true for everyone. I rarely post about homeschooling in general on facebook, however, if I make comments like that I add something about "for us"..."for this child"...so I'm not slamming public school. I'm not against public school, and you almost have to add something to make it apply to your family. If you leave it out people will find offense even if you don't intend.

 

Not one size fits all in homeschooling or parenting.

 

Your comment about "better life choices" sounds like it's loaded with back story with your SIL. In general, it's offensive. When you're in a marriage not all your life choices are made alone, not everyone would choose to make the same choice with the same circumstances either. I agree with the comment homeschooling isn't in general a "better life choice" it's a different one, but one option. Also, not everyone gets to pick their bowl of cherries, some end up with a few cherries and the rest are just pits.

[Ellie]

 

Is that how you interact with your friends and family? You say what you want and people have to just take it or lump it? It doesn't seem to be a very good way to nurture relationships. Yes, sometimes people are too sensitive but sometimes people do have legitimate reason to be offended by what someone says. This is a pro homeschooling board and people have said that content of that post could be offensive as it was originally stated (or paraphrased - I got a bit confused there). The thing is that the message that the OP later said that she wanted to get across was not getting across. I think there were some good suggestions on how to get that message across in a better way. After all, isn't that the goal of the OP?

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[JNW]

I have decided to homeschool my daughter this coming year and I have struggled with how to discuss it with people, knowing that some folks automatically assume homeschoolers are stuck up and pridefu. We're choosing something different because we think we can do better. I think I'll try not to bring it up unless someone asks and if I do ask I'll say we're giving it a try. It seems some people carry around a huge load of guilt over not homeschooling. I just don't want to stir up conflict or appear that I'm being conceited about it.

[Ellie]

I have decided to homeschool my daughter this coming year and I have struggled with how to discuss it with people, knowing that some folks automatically assume homeschoolers are stuck up and prideful. We're choosing something different because we think we can do better. I think I'll try not to bring it up unless someone asks and if I do ask I'll say we're giving it a try. It seems some people carry around a huge load of guilt over not homeschooling. I just don't want to stir up conflict or appear that I'm being conceited about it.

 

I think that's a good idea. :thumbup1: Remember, though, that those people who feel guilty because they are not homeschooling will think you're trying to stir up conflict and are being conceited, even if you say nothing. That's their problem, not yours; just don't go on their guilt trip with them.

[sparrow]

My standard response, when people ask why we homeschool, is that it works for our family and if, or when, it stops working for everyone, we will reevaluate. In general, I don't discuss it with people, unless they ask. I have never had a confrontational discussion about homeschooling via FB, or face to face, using this strategy :).

[catz]

My standard response, when people ask why we homeschool, is that it works for our family and if, or when, it stops working for everyone, we will reevaluate. In general, I don't discuss it with people, unless they ask. I have never had a confrontational discussion about homeschooling via FB, or face to face, using this strategy :).

 

:iagree: I haven't had a confrontational discussion about homeschooling or education in a LONG time employing this strategy. If people want more information, they seem to have no problem asking. My oldest was pulled from PS because we was ridiculously ahead of grade level, which is a sensitive topic area for some parents too.

 

On FB, I do not post anything to my general feed unless I would say it IRL out loud to that entire group. I absolutely think there are overly sensitive people out there that would get defensive by the statement "homeschooling has been a great fit for my kids". But I wouldn't be surprised if generally people would get defensive about a statement like "B&M school was a train wreck for us". Now that I think about it, I generally talk from the positive (i.e. "I love carrots" vs. "I hate broccoli"), especially on FB where you aren't getting context, body language, etc.

 

I do actually know a couple moms that feel guilty about the education their children are getting. Which I'm actually sympathetic too. I tread accordingly around those 2. I don't avoid them or avoid talking about what we're doing. But I do try to be sensitive to their feelings.

 

On FB, if I have something very homeschooling specific I want to say or discuss, I just post it up to those friends.

[SKL]

On a related note, no offense to anyone here, but as a career mom and sole breadwinner of kids who do benefit from B&M school (though it is far from perfect), hearing "pull her and homeschool" as the proposed solution to school problems is a little . . . simplistic. Kinda like saying "divorce him" in response to marital peeves. I am on a few facebook groups related to adopted kids, and this handy-dandy solution is suggested frequently there. I could see where it might make parents feel judged or inadequate (though I don't personally have that reaction). It can be kind of a conversation-stopper, you know? Most of us just need some help getting over the current educational / emotional hump.

[maddykate]

 

 

Is that how you interact with your friends and family? You say what you want and people have to just take it or lump it? It doesn't seem to be a very good way to nurture relationships. Yes, sometimes people are too sensitive but sometimes people do have legitimate reason to be offended by what someone says. This is a pro homeschooling board and people have said that content of that post could be offensive as it was originally stated (or paraphrased - I got a bit confused there). The thing is that the message that the OP later said that she wanted to get across was not getting across. I think there were some good suggestions on how to get that message across in a better way. After all, isn't that the goal of the OP?

 

 

 

The OP did not say anything inappropriate or offensive. She cannot control how someone else is going to interpret her words. There will always be someone who is offended by everything, no matter what, so there is no point in trying to mince your words so carefully so no one is offended. Someone will always be offended. You can't please everyone. Why should you try?

 

The OP stated what she believed to be true in her case and it was that her children are different kids for being homeschooled. And she offered to give information to anyone else who was interested. Seriously, how is that a problem? I just don't get the "apologize and remove the post" suggestions. She is entitled to her feelings and should not have to remove the post to appease someone who shouldn't have been offended if the situation did not apply to her. The OP didn't say, "all you PS people suck and your kids are horrible." She just made a comment about her own life. She should absolutely not remove her post or apologize for her words.

 

As for how I handle my own life, here and IRL, I always try to be kind and considerate, but my feelings are my own. If I make a comment that offends someone, I am not going to retract that statement. I try to always think before I speak (or write), but I am entitled to my thoughts and I am not going to go through my life afraid that something I say is going to offend someone and keep all my thoughts to myself. I have a right to express my opinion just as much as someone else.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I would respond with an apology. I would be humble and explain this...

 

I think I need to explain myself better. After all the problems my children had in ps I feel like I finally have my children back.

 

...and that's it. That you feel this is true for you, not necessarily that it is universally true.

 

I strongly believe in the benefits of homeschooling. My kids have never so much as set foot in a school of any kind (no daycare, no preschool, no public school...nada). Heck, we have never even done a co-op! :tongue_smilie: Like you, I believe that I have different kids than I would have if I had made a different choice. Of course where and with whom children spend their days helps to form who they are!

 

But I will also tell you that I went to public school from pre-k on and I was a better person for it. If I had been homeschooled, I would be a different person than I am now, and I think much to my detriment. It is not a good choice for everyone. Family circumstances and all that. Not everyone has the tools, temperament, desire, beliefs... Not everyone thinks it is a great idea. Not everyone is kept from homeschooling because of poor choices; they have just made other choices. Not everyone has children who are struggling and/or unhappy in school. Some are quite well-adjusted and reap huge benefits.

 

This is one thing I have struggled with since before I even officially homeschooled. I loved school, from start to finish. I knew that keeping my kids out of school would change who they are. If I believed for a second that the scale ever dipped into more negatives than positives, they would be in school.

[Mommy22alyns]

I just don't discuss homeschooling on my FB page at all, unless I'm sharing photos of what we've done. I have a private HS group on FB and that's where I talk about it.

[NotSoObvious]

It was your status update and your feelings and I wouldn't remove it, if I were you. You are perfectly entitled to writing whatever you want on your status and other people are perfectly entitled to interpret it however they choose. It is not your fault if someone took it the wrong way. I wouldn't offer any apologies, either. You can say what you want. I would, however, just let it die. No response at all.

 

I will just say that I H.A.T.E Facebook. I loathe it and this makes me so thankful that I no longer have to deal with this stuff.

 

I delete people who post without regard to others. There is a way to get your point across and share information in a respectful way. Just like IRL.

 

Then again, there are a lot of people IRL I stay away from because they act like the above, so go figure.

[Ellie]

I would respond with an apology. I would be humble and explain this.

 

I still don't think she needs to apologize, or be humble, or anything else. I think the way she worded it was not the best, but I don't think she needs to apologize for it. It's over. Least said, soonest mended.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I still don't think she needs to apologize, or be humble, or anything else. I think the way she worded it was not the best, but I don't think she needs to apologize for it. It's over. Least said, soonest mended.

 

Well, I was responding to the OP's question, as she appeared to be requesting opinions of the Hive. I gave her mine. Not interested in picking a fight. Obviously some people disagree.

 

That said, I have personally experienced more cases of least said, most/longest grudges harbored. In my book, ignoring the fact that you have offended, even inadvertently, is more offensive than the original offense.