Teens don't look forward to getting a driver's license anymore...and parents don't seem to want them to.

[Ginevra]

I don't understand this. When I was a teen, most peers could not wait to get their driver's license as soon as they possibly could. Most parents seemed eager to have an independent driver in the house. This no longer appears to be the case. 16th birthdays come and go with kids seeming to have no thoughts about getting a license. Another mom was just saying (happily) that her dd has said nothing about it, though she is turning 16 next month and mom adds, "...And I couldn't be happier!" Another mom chimes in, "Yes, good! Wait as long as possible." Another mom adds, "As soon as they can drive, you never see them anymore. Every weekend, they will be off somewhere..." I'm perplexed.

 

I see this as another feature of the way western culture babies kids until very late in life. 25. 28. 30. Baby, baby, baby. Keep them living at home, keep them unable to do anything for themselves. Stave off driving for as long as possible, which will also mean they most likely will not work for pay.

 

If you want them to drive, what are your motives? If you want them to delay driving, what are your motives? Poll to follow.

 

ETA: I messed up with the two later questions - I didn't realize you must choose something for each question. I can't figure out how to add a choice now. Sorry. I guess you could pick other.

[Jennifer in MI]

My nearly-17 year old is WAYYYYY too impulsive. And, if he thinks a rule is stupid, he'll break it. I'm afraid he will text while driving. I'm afraid he'll do something stupid. I'm afraid he'll hurt himself or someone else. He doesn't seem to realize that driving is a HUGE responsibility.

 

Now, my 15 yo is a different story. He'll probably be getting his license when he's 16. We'll see . . .

 

Also, we just got our insurance quotes. Yikes!!! To add a teen driver on my car which has only liability, it was over $1000/year. The stupid car is 13 years old!

[Lawana]

I have one who is waiting to drive because she is not psychologically mature enough and also has one arm in a brace. The other one is chomping at the bit and will be driving as soon as legally possible. It really has more to do with them and their readiness than me and my philosophy.

[LMA]

Honestly, the insurance costs and today's dangers of teen driving/riding and parental classes from states about teens getting licenses make it not worth it.

 

It would be difficult for me, looking back, going from not working as a 15 year old to a 16 year old with a license having to work to meet car and insurance costs. Just fixing a used car is not cheap, never mind gas costs. I think there should be a better transition. A lot of my friends' kids use public transportation to get around and dumped their cars because they could never get ahead of the repairs. I see why parents buy new cars for their kids if they can afford it.

 

With today's world, I think 18 is the better age to drive.

[chiguirre]

Geezle won't be getting a license at 16, we'll see at 18 and he might not get one until later. I do think he'll eventually be able to drive. OTOH, Trinqueta will need to drive once she starts cc classes. It's only 5 miles on a relatively safe road so I feel comfortable with her learning as soon as possible.

[catz]

Teen driving statistics are pretty startling and kids in Europe aren't allowed to drive until 18. There has also been some data published about how long it takes brains to mature, especially in males. I haven't made any decisions about this, but I live in an urban area with good bus service and a light rail, so I have to admit I am not super excited about getting my kids behind a wheel. I think the young driving age is a reflection of when we had more farming communities. I don't feel it has anything to do with coddling, since my kids can walk 2 blocks to hop on a bus to go almost anywhere.

[Orthodox6]

We have told our next-up-for-license son that he should obtain a driver's license, following which we shall give him keys to a bicycle.

 

We cannot afford another car, nor can we afford to pay auto insurance for a young male driver.

 

Despite the baloney about our local economy being strong, young people do not find paying jobs here without a combination of parental pull somewhere and extraordinary luck. The hiring practices are absurd: fill out an online form, and resemble hundreds of identical applicants. One place told one of my college-attending sons to fill out an application. He did so on the spot, then watched his application form be tossed cavalierly into a drawer. Turned out that when a space became available, the manager would reach into the drawer, grab whatever his hand touched first, then offer the job to that person.

 

We are not attempting to retard normal maturation.

[xixstar]

I have a 17.5 yo and she hasn't started the process. The requirement I added is that she pay for drivers ed (required here) and all the associated costs. She still hasn't got a job to earn the money to do these things. I would be happy for her to make progress and as she approaches her senior year, I'm a little nervous she hasn't because it is a delayed process to get a full license here and I worry she'll leave for college without driving.

 

But I also need to her to make that effort as well, so it's a stalemate right now. But even with a license, not sure how she'll manage the insurance and such and we don't have another car for her to drive because I'm not too keen on her driving the family van (the first time we've ever had payments on a car) and dh doesn't want her to drive the cheap commuter car because it gets him to work. Not sure what we'll do when that part comes up.

[fairfarmhand]

I live in a farming community and I see nothing wrong with responsible, level headed teens driving. But then I also live 20-25 minutes from everything (no public transportation options whatsoever), and I'd love to have the help. My dd15 drives the truck on the farm, drives the 4 wheeler and cuts grass on a riding mower. I think she will be fine with some practice.

 

 

When she wants her own car, she will be paying for it and insurance. She will also be buying the gas for using the family car when that happens

[justamouse]

My oldest Dd is actually so afraid of an accident, that she thus far has refused to get her license. So far, it hasn't held her back in any way. She has a job, she has money saved, we have a good car for her, she still has zero interest.

 

Oldest son? I was *terrified* when he started. He is so impulsive, such a daredevil, every time he left the house I was waiting for the call.

[TraceyS/FL]

My DD just turned 17 - she is probably just now mentally ready to drive.

 

She didn't care about it - and currently walks here in town to and from the library and park. The scary part about her driving was that she was completely UNAWARE of her surroundings - she couldn't ride in the car with someone and tell them how to get somewhere. I chalk this up to sitting in the back of a minivan lost in her own music. "We" had nothing else to do but wish we were the ones driving - it had to be more entertaining right?!?! :p

 

As a single mom, I honestly can't fathom paying car insurance for her either..... ugh.

[Guest]

My nearly-17 year old is WAYYYYY too impulsive. And, if he thinks a rule is stupid, he'll break it. I'm afraid he will text while driving. I'm afraid he'll do something stupid. I'm afraid he'll hurt himself or someone else. He doesn't seem to realize that driving is a HUGE responsibility. Now, my 15 yo is a different story. He'll probably be getting his license when he's 16. We'll see . . . Also, we just got our insurance quotes. Yikes!!! To add a teen driver on my car which has only liability, it was over $1000/year. The stupid car is 13 years old!

I have one who is waiting to drive because she is not psychologically mature enough and also has one arm in a brace. The other one is chomping at the bit and will be driving as soon as legally possible. It really has more to do with them and their readiness than me and my philosophy.

 

How does this work? Does the older child never say, "Hmm. Younger sib is getting his/her license and I haven't done anything to get mine."? What do you say if that came up? I would not want to tell a child I thought they were unable to manage the responsibility of driving.

[skimomma]

Looking back, I was not at all ready to drive independently at 16. Not even close. I did not have any major accidents but it was only shear luck. I drove too fast everywhere until I was about 20. And I was "responsible" as far as teens go. And a girl. My dd is probably even more responsible than I was and it is a little too early to say what we will do but I am inclined to think we will probably get her permit on time and maybe even her license but that she will still drive with one of us until we are all ready for her to move on. I think we will know based on her comfort level and ability at the wheel. That said, we live in town, can walk almost anywhere, and live in a place that gets 200+ inches of snow each year (which means most of the teens in our area do not drive in the winter alone until 18ish). This is one area that a fully-developed brain is pretty important.

[Susann]

Yes, when I was 16 everyone got their license as soon as possible. I also had 2 classmates die in accidents that were not their faults. My oldest got her license at 17 because she was ready and needed it. My 20 year still doesn't have hers and doesn't need it because of where she lives for college. She was run off the road by an SUV with a driver talking on her cell. I'm not babying her-she doesn't see the need at this point. She very much sees the dangers around her with all the young, distracted drivers. In several cases I know, parents that have pushed them to get their license when they weren't ready because it made it easier on the parent.

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

Oldest son was not eager to drive but middle son was.

The rule in our house...driving is a privilege and you need to afford that privilege. If they cannot pay for all the cost of driving (license, driving lessons, insurance, gas, and half the maintenance on the car they drive if it our car) then they do not need to drive.

Oldest felt that was fair and waited till he was 18 to get a license because it would be cheaper that way. Middle son felt it was unfair because he had no money to do this.

 

We now live in a city where everything is either walking distance or on a bus route. I told youngest ds when he gets a job if it is not in walking distance we would buy a bus pass for the first year. No car is needed so no driving is needed for him.

[Danestress]

My kids want their licenses at the first opportunity, and we are on track with maybe a 3 month delay because of scheduling the class.

 

I have mixed emotions. It is going to be very expensive to have two boys on my insurance. And it is a scary time in the life of a parent when teens are driving. I believe 16 is young to drive by international standards, and the brain research would certainly support an argument that 16 is just flat too young for most kids. The accident rate is very high for 16-18 year olds - much higher than the rate for older people just learning to drive.

 

But still, we are moving forward.

 

I am not sure I believe, though, just by observation of my friends and community, that teens are babied more and kept young longer than my generation. I see lots of kids with jobs, kids running non profit organizations, going on spring break with no parents, staying alone when the parents are out of town, and being expected to move out at 18 whether they are ready or not.

 

My parents didn't think 18 was some magic 'now you are an adult so we have no say and no control' number. They figured that as long as I needed financial help (which they gave right through grad school) I might need a little parental advice and even some limits. And I would say my parents were relatively hands off. I actually think, from reading on this board, that there is a very strong opinion at least in the homeschool community, that 18 year olds are adults, fully expected to pay their way through life and college, and that parents have no rights or responsibilities for them. That isn't at all how it was when I was growing up. But yes, we did get licenses earlier!

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

My oldest is 16.5 and has no interest in driving. He is nervous about driving and I don't blame him. Everyday I see aggressive drivers bobbing and weaving through the main road in town. He just isn't ready to be responsible for taking his own life in his hands. I'm in no hurry either.

 

It's not a matter of babying him.

 

K

[TraceyS/FL]

How does this work? Does the older child never say, "Hmm. Younger sib is getting his/her license and I haven't done anything to get mine."? What do you say if that came up? I would not want to tell a child I thought they were unable to manage the responsibility of driving.

Just tell them it is what it is? Be frank about it - the kids should have some feel about it?

 

Obviously these parents aren't babying their kids....

 

My 13yo special needs daughter wants to drive badly (legally can't yet), but I think she, with all her processing difficulties and delays would make a better driver "today" than my 17yo.

 

Do you really want me to put my 17 on the road??? Trust me - i'm saving you here!! LOL!!

[Stayseeliz]

Mine are still young so we'll see. My 11yo is very responsible so I could see him getting his license on the earlier side. My almost 9yo. Who knows... She is flighty and has severe amblyopia so I'll probably hold off with her. I live in a smaller town and a lot of kids wait. The 16yo across the street hasn't gotten his license yet but I think he's working on it. He just got a job but everything is so close here that I think his parents don't mind taking him.

[Mrs Mungo]

Part of the problem for us, being an Army family? Is that there are different rules in every state. Here in NC they have graduated driver's licenses. You have to take Driver's Ed before you can get your permit. You can take Driver's Ed at 14 1/2. We didn't move here until dd was 15 1/2 *and* then we had to be registered as homeschoolers for six months before she could take Driver's Ed *and* only in the summer. Once you have your permit, it takes a year to get your license, and it's *still* a restricted license. That sort of thing makes it very complicated for us when we move every two years.

[Jennifer in MI]

How does this work? Does the older child never say, "Hmm. Younger sib is getting his/her license and I haven't done anything to get mine."? What do you say if that came up? I would not want to tell a child I thought they were unable to manage the responsibility of driving.

 

I don't know yet. I have talked with my older son numerous times about his impulsiveness. We talk about the life-long consequences of stupid decisions - including while driving. (You hit another car because you ran a red light or you were texting and someone in that car dies - you go to jail!) My son knows that I don't think he's able to handle the responsibility. I don't think that's a bad thing. He gets responsibility in other areas of his life and he can handle that.

 

I doon't know what we'll do when the current 15 yo turns 16. We'll probably wait for the next year when the older one moves out of the house for college. I don't know. Haven't thought that one through yet.

 

Funny - ds just asked me to look for a drivers training class for him for this summer!

[Rebecca VA]

My 16-year-old is very impulsive and scatterbrained. She still falls off the sidewalk when she walks down the street. She would definitely be the type to text and drive.

 

She is campaigning to get her driver's permit, and her dad is actually taking her side. Although I'd prefer to wait for a couple more years, I may end up, over the summer, taking her on long stretches of country roads to let her practice. Maybe we'll even take a road trip on Interstate 81, and she can drive in the slow lane for hours at a time. However, it will be a very long time before I will allow her to get her license and drive alone. Traffic in D.C. is horrific, and she is way too immature.

[Heather in Neverland]

My ds cannot get a driver's license here at all until he is 18yo. I will let him at that point.

 

However, I think the driving age should be raised to 18yo in the States, too.

[TraceyS/FL]

My oldest is 16.5 and has no interest in driving. He is nervous about driving and I don't blame him. Everyday I see aggressive drivers bobbing and weaving through the main road in town. He just isn't ready to be responsible for taking his own life in his hands. I'm in no hurry either.

 

It's not a matter of babying him.

 

K

I live next to a HUGE retirement community - i think those drivers are a major chunk of why DD isn't interested in driving really. They scare her!

 

WHen I got my permit on my 15th birthday, my parents handed me the keys and I swear never drove again except to/from work. I had about 20k miles by the time I was 16 and got my license (end of November of my junior year in HS no less).

 

I was just a totally different person that my daughter in this area!

[speedmom4]

Driver's Ed was traumatic for my oldest dd. They showed graphic videos of drunk driving accident victims. They also showed a movie with families of drunk driving victims and it was all just too much for her emotionally. She came home sobbing. I would like for her to get her license before she heads of to college in the fall but we will have to see how much the insurance will be.

 

Elise in NC

[gingersmom]

My parents basically forced me to get my drivers license. I was an awful driver, had no business driving and had repeated fender benders.

 

All the stuff I have read says the longer your child waits to get a drivers license, the better a driver they will be and have less accidents.

 

My daughter is 16 and has no desire at all to get her drivers license (I would not let her anyways). I jokingly tell my children that when they finish graduate school they can get their drivers license.

 

I have no problem driving my children wherever they want to go.

[GailV]

Teen driving statistics are pretty startling and kids in Europe aren't allowed to drive until 18. There has also been some data publishes about how long it takes brains to mature, especially in males. I haven't made any decisions about this, but I like in an urban area with good bus service and a light rail, so I have to admit I am not super excited about getting my kids behind a wheel. I think the young driving age is a reflection of when we had more farming communities. I don't feel it has anything to do with coddling, since my kids can walk 2 blocks to hop on a bus to go almost anywhere.

 

I recall reading something about brain development that had me perplexed that we start driving so early -- I don't recall what it was, though, or where I read it.

 

My inlaws who work in the insurance industry didn't allow their daughter to drive on the interstates in our urban area until she was 18 -- she had her license at 16 and could drive on other streets and roads. Some of my friends thought that was really odd, but I figured that my inlaws had access to statistics that guided their decision.

 

My 17dd is driving, but she prefers to avoid the metro interstates, particularly after an incident with a semi on a dual entrance ramp (I was in the car at the time -- she handled it well -- the banking on that curve is tough in a semi going the speed of traffic). We've had some spectacular wrecks on the interstates here.

 

We delayed her license due to insurance costs, gas costs (it isn't like we can afford frivolous trips) and lack of a vehicle for her use. She wasn't too upset about it because she didn't feel peer pressure -- her friends are pretty mixed as to who has a license. In the meantime, kids around here walk and bike all over the place, and are fairly independent. Unfortunately, our metro bus service stinks, so that's not a great option.

 

HOWEVER,

 

now that dd's driving, I *LOVE* having someone else to run errands, to get her to various activities, to get her younger sister to various activities. Today she'll take her younger sister to a babysitting job (they'll both be babysitting) and home, drive to a chemistry class and home, drive to a community college class, and from there to a theater rehearsal, then home. And I don't have to mess with any of it. Yippee! It's like someone just gave me an extra hour in my day!

[Tammyla]

A life style of being Green and energy conservation is a big reason among teens here.

 

I guess parents might enjoy not having their car insurance jump up as well as the cost of providing them gas, insurance and an actual vehicle, not to mention the safety issues. The fact that many teens text and drive or drive under the influence, have accidents and are generally not ready for the responsibility is another good reason.

[Karen in CO]

I loved it when my ds learned to drive, and I'm looking forward to teaching the girls. I will help them get their learners permit as soon as possible so that they have as much time as they can driving with me before I send them out on the road alone. If I'd waited until my ds was 18, he would have never learned to drive since he went to college in Japan.

[kewb]

I find it kind of strange. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to drive. Same for my friends. I think it is kind of strange when the teens don't have any interest.

 

As for my kids, I am excited and scared for when they are old enough to get their learners permit. When they are of age I will be signing them up for drivers ed.

[gardenmom5]

my girls were eager to get their lisences. My sons, not so much.

 

1ds didn't even want to learn - but was taking a class that required him to take public transportation. so, he decided he'd rather have driving practice than take the bus. He got his license the friday before he started a job that was a two hour public transportation nightmare, but a 20 minute drive. (he also hates manual transmissions - and our kid car is a four-speed gutless wonder. my girls really liked being able to drive a stick.)

[regentrude]

I want them to drive as soon as they are mature and responsible enough to do so safely.

For my DD, that means she will get her license the day after her 16th birthday.

My main reason is that I want HER to be the driver, and not some other teen about whose driving skills and responsibility we have no idea. I can trust DD to have good judgment and good technical driving skills since DH taught her; it is much safer if she drives than some other young friend.

Also, she will be going to college in a year; I want her to have enough experience in independent driving before she moves far away.

 

DS will get his permit when he is 15; we have to see whether he is ready for a license at 16. We will make the decision then.

 

ETA: I should add that I myself did not learn to drive until I was 23. I lived in a European city with public transit and had no need to drive.

[bolt.]

By the time a person is 16/18/beyond, whatever they want to do about how they get places is largely their own concern -- therefore their reasons are their own.

 

Driving is an expensive and challenging means of 'convenient' transportation. In fact, many adults would be better off without it. Also, work doesn't fit as easily into the life if an accademic (or otherwise active) teen as it once did... Not to mention how hard it can be to get any kind if work these days at all. I'd never consider that a 'babyish' decision for a teen to be adding up the pros and cons.

[gardenmom5]

All the stuff I have read says the longer your child waits to get a drivers license, the better a driver they will be and have less accidents.

 

 

well - my kids blow those statistics. the one who got their license the oldest, has had the most fender benders - and tickets. the one who got it the youngest, has nothing. zip. zilch. nada. also puts on more mileage. really liked it in college with a sterling driving record was able to drive a school 15 passengar van.

[TheReader]

For me, it varies for each child. My oldest is 15 and we're teaching him now, unofficially. In Brazil, he can't get a license until 18; we will likely move back to the US between now and then, though, so we're giving him informal lessons in our residential area (no traffic)(at all) and will proceed from there.

 

If we were in the US, I'd likely do with him what my parents did with me --- get the Learner's Permit as soon after the 15th birthday as possible (earliest allowed in TX) and thus give him a full year of driving with a supervising adult before sending him for his driving exam/license. To me, this is ideal --- it still gets him driving "as soon as possible" yet also gives him a full year of practice to get comfortable behind the wheel. That, to me, is a bigger factor than age --- how long between the permit and the license; i.e., how much practice has the teen had? How confident is he/she?

 

My second son...we'll have to see where he is when we get there. He's only 12, and I could see him also being ready at 15 for the permit/lessons and at 16 for a license. My youngest.....well, at the moment I can't envision him ever being behind the wheel of a car. -shudder- Surely that will change in the next 8 years though, right???? We'll have to see what common sense dictates when he's old enough.

 

I will add, I do understand financial concerns. When I was learning, I was paying for my own car & all my gas (my parents paid for insuring me, until I paid off my car, at which point I took over my insurance payment). If a teen isn't working (and in this economy in the US, it's hard for teens to find jobs, as so many are competing with out of work adults), Mom & Dad might not be able to fund the cost of the course, the cost of the insurance, the extra gas, etc. Even if an extra car isn't part of the package, it can get costly. When I was learning to drive, gas was under $1/gallon, ya know? Not so anymore.

 

And, depending on how much driving a family does, the benefit of having an extra driver in the family might not outweigh the added cost. For us, we aren't slammed with tons of activities and thus tons of chauffeuring duties, so the cost of adding a teen driver, who then won't be doing much actual driving, just wouldn't make sense right this minute. We're only teaching him in anticipation of that (maybe) changing once back in the US. If we didn't anticipate a return in the near(ish) future, we'd wait. Heck, right now we only own one car here, so having 3 people able to drive it just isn't a huge deal, ya know? I can see people waiting, if they're in a similar situation.

[Dmmetler]

My DD's nowhere near that age, but I can tell you that it was probably a very, very good thing that I started having seizures at age 17-having just gotten my license a few months before (it took 2 tries for the driver's ed teacher to sign off on my form because I was so nervous and jerky-and I don't mean 2 tries at the test-I mean that they made me take the behind the wheel part of driver's ed twice. Fortunately, it was a non-credit class, because it's the only class I've ever failed!), and having my neurologist tell me, flat out that "I'm not going to tell the DMV to take your license, but it is TOO DANGEROUS for you to drive"-because by the time the seizures were under control enough that he authorized me to drive, I was a lot more emotionally ready for it-I was in my early 20s.

 

 

I went to college and grad school in places where driving really wasn't necessary-either everything was available close to campus, there was great public transit, or both.

[Guest]

About the "brain development" view: this makes no sense to me as a reason. (I have not read the studies, though.) Biologically, our children are "adults" when they go through puberty. Do you really think God or Nature designed it such that we are capable of having a child, but not capable of driving a car for several more years?

 

This is what I mean by delaying maturity in western culture. Aren't we showing them we have no faith in their ability to grow up if we delay all grown-up behavior, telling them we don't believe they can handle it?

 

I had no car when I got my license and my parents were poor as spit. I bought my own car when I was 19; paid for my own gas/insurance and everything.

[elegantlion]

Ds is eligible for his permit now, we'll wait until spring at this point. I want him to get licensed and drive at 16 so he can gain experience. I got my license at 17 and was driving in ice and snow the first year to pick up my mom from work. It made a huge difference in my confidence as a driver. Driving is a huge responsibility and a huge freedom. We also live at the crossroads of two interstates and I want ds to have some experience in town before tackling the interstates.

 

He's in no hurry to get his permit, so we may wait until he's 16. I want him to have a few years experience driving at home before he goes off to college. .

[Excelsior! Academy]

Ours is need based. You won't get a license until you present a need for one. We live in an area with lots of overpasses and the turnpike. I have no desire for a beginning driver to traverse around here. It is terrifying to think when I was a child 14 year olds could get their restricted Iicense in certain states.

 

My 16 year old does have her permit. We are allowing her to drive our family's common routes to church, stores, and such. When she gets her license she will not have free rein, but will be limited to her well known routes. After a period of time of displaying good driving and gaining experience she will then be allowed to choose more ambitious routes.

[Guest]

By the time a person is 16/18/beyond, whatever they want to do about how they get places is largely their own concern -- therefore their reasons are their own.

 

Driving is an expensive and challenging means of 'convenient' transportation. In fact, many adults would be better off without it. Also, work doesn't fit as easily into the life if an accademic (or otherwise active) teen as it once did... Not to mention how hard it can be to get any kind if work these days at all. I'd never consider that a 'babyish' decision for a teen to be adding up the pros and cons.

 

 

Not if the alternative is that I have to drive them for years to come. Where I live, a car is pretty close to a MUST. Riding a bike would be death-defying right outside my driveway.

 

I understand that some live where getting around without a car barely registers. I might feel differently if that was true for me. My dd goes to private school and that will be the first, most obvious perk of her driving. It is impossible to bike or walk to and from school and public transportation would be so expensive, it would make no sense.

[J-rap]

We always wanted our kids to have their license as soon as they felt they were ready, and encouraged them to work at it, but we didn't force them. For example, our son was really into biking and we live in a small town, so he really wanted to bike everywhere. I signed him up for driver's ed and made him go through the driving lessons, etc., but he kind of took his time getting in the hours. There was no urgency for him. (Until prom of his junior year.) Next daughter was determined to take her test the day after she turned 16. The next one had no urgency whatsoever, partly because her older sister drove her everywhere. We had to almost bribe her in order to get her to take her test! haha This is because it was spring of her senior year, and I really wanted her to have it before leaving home. Next daughter took the test right after turning 16. Our youngest just turned 18 and still doesn't have it. It's been a bad winter and everyone has been so busy, and she just isn't too interested! I've reminded her "YOU have to take charge, and schedule hours with me!!!" but she never remembers, and I don't either. :) We'll make sure she has her license by the end of the summer though.

 

I think there are so many distractions with driving now... I can't count the number of times I've seen teens drive through stop signs in our small town because of texting or talking on their phones. I do want to make sure my children feel confident and ready before driving independently. As in everything else, there is no magic age.

[Guest]

There's a huge difference in sperm/egg production versus brain development. I'm not sure God was thinking about driving cars when he made man. If so, though, why'd he allow so many parts of the world to have effective/inexpensive mass transportation? lol

So can you really not see the differences in a 12 year old versus a 26 year old?

 

 

Sperm/egg production begins because God or Nature determined that this was the point where we would be able to bring a child into the world, nurture and care for the child, and assume full adult roles. Biologically speaking, what we (culturally) do is actually pretty bizarre...is there any other creature that delays reproduction so long after biological maturity? I'm not making a case for 14-year-olds to begin families - I embrace the delay we view as culturally normal, but my point is that if you are biologically capable of bringing children into the world, doesn't it seem probable that your brain would be developed well enough to do that task as well? (A task I consider more complex than learning to stop at a red light.)

 

I'm not saying I see no difference between a 12yo and a 26yo. I think some of the differences I see, though, are based more on what we expect. If we don't expect a 12 yo to be able to think well (barring organic problems, of course), why would they rise to the occasion? Let alone a 16 yo.

 

When I had my first full-time job, I worked in downtown Baltimore. Initially, I took Mass Transit and then walked ten blocks. Later, I drove and parked in the sketchiest, skiviest, most dilapidated parking garage you have ever seen and walked several blocks up the red-light district to my office. That was the garage I could afford. It was $6 a day. The nice, clean bank garages up the street several blocks were $20/day. I could not afford that. As a parent, it would turn my stomach if I knew my young daughter parked in that sketchy garage each day. I'm sure I was in much more danger than I ever imagined. Fortunately, nothing happened. I grew so much as an adult having that job in the big, scary city. I'm SO glad I had that experience.

[BigMamaBird]

My kids are pretty widely spaced. So when the oldest is 16 I'll still have littles running around. These days I can't just run to the store to grab something because I've got to schlep all the kids and an errand that would take 10 minutes winds up taking an hour. When Dd learns to drive if I need a gallon of milk she can just pop up to the store and school doesn't get interrupted. So that's my selfish reason.

 

On the non-selfish hand I remember how wonderful learning how to drive felt! I want my kids to experience the same right of passage and budding independence that a new drivers licence brings.

[KungFuPanda]

I grew up in the sticks. Everything was far away, there was minimal traffic, there wasn't much to do out there, and drivers Ed was a FREE elective.

 

My own 16-year-old has been too busy to work the required, $300, outside-of-school driver's Ed class into her schedule. Her high school is a half mile from home. We live in the suburbs between two beltway encircled cities. Driving here takes a LOT more nerve and skill than driving out in the country or in small town USA.

 

My teen is mature and level-headed. I'm hoping we can make the time to get her driver's Ed and her learners taken care of this summer. We may also have a third vehicle by then so it makes sense. I'm not trying to baby her, it's just that driving isn't the most pressing, interesting thing in her life. We live where there are a lot of activity choices very nearby.

[luvnlattes]

I didn't vote because none of the options express my opinion. My oldest is old enough for his permit in our state and a few of his friends have gotten theirs, but he is in no hurry to begin driving. He thinks it seems stressful. He'll most likely get his license when he's closer to 17, but this isn't a situation where I'm forcing him to wait. However, I am happy that I will save a year of insurance payments.

 

My next son has already informed me he wants to be at the DOL on his 16th birthday! He is the one I'm more concerned about because he's more of a risk taker. I'd be inclined to have him wait a little longer, but I doubt we will. I'm guessing our approach will be to give him the rules and expectations and expect him to live up to them. If he doesn't, no driving.

 

If I had to vote, I would choose "It's a rite of passage," but that doesn't mean that I have a motive for my kids to get their licenses as early as possible. If that's what they want, ok. If they want to wait a bit, I'm fine with that too.

[GailV]

About the "brain development" view: this makes no sense to me as a reason. (I have not read the studies, though.) Biologically, our children are "adults" when they go through puberty. Do you really think God or Nature designed it such that we are capable of having a child, but not capable of driving a car for several more years?

 

This is what I mean by delaying maturity in western culture. Aren't we showing them we have no faith in their ability to grow up if we delay all grown-up behavior, telling them we don't believe they can handle it?

 

I had no car when I got my license and my parents were poor as spit. I bought my own car when I was 19; paid for my own gas/insurance and everything.

 

 

http://www.gjel.com/...evelopment.html

 

http://www.edmunds.c...en-driving.html

 

Brain development is a long, long process.

 

From the 2nd one I linked:

 

Brain maturation doesn’t end in adolescence, though. Imaging studies show the brain is still maturing well into the mid-20s, especially in regions responsible for regulating emotions, controlling impulses, and balancing risk and reward. Psychologists draw a distinction between “cold†cognition (when we are thinking about something that doesn’t have much emotional content, such as how to solve an algebra problem) and “hot†cognition (when we are thinking about something that can make us feel exuberant or excited, angry or depressed, such as whether to go joyriding with friends or throw a punch at someone who insulted a girlfriend). The systems of the brain responsible for cold cognition are mature by age 16. But the systems that control hot cognition aren’t — they are still developing well into the 20s. That’s why the teen who gets straight A’s in school can also such dumb things when out with buddies – like drive in ways he or she knows are dangerous.

 

****

I'm sure I could find more articles, if you'd like. Also, cost comparisons on insurance and on auto upkeep from your youth vs. now. :001_smile:

[dirty ethel rackham]

I can't post in your poll because it wants me to answer every question. I want my kids to get their licenses as early as allowed in our state. I want them to get as much driving experience as possible while they are under our supervision. While people talk about the lack of maturity in teens, lack of experience can be equally deadly, especially if they get a license after the teen restrictions are over. Many states have common sense restrictions on teen driving, such as only 1 non-related person in the car, curfew, stringent phone restrictions, etc. When I allow a child of mine to get a license (after I am sure they are ready), I don't just hand over the keys and say "have at it." They start out driving for errands and to and from activities. Then they do some of the chaufferring for me. Then I allow them to drive to social things, reminding them of what I expect. They know that, if at any time I feel that they should not be driving (disobeying our rules, showing poor judgement), I will take their license away and turn it in. I can't do that after they turn 18. They also know that any irresponsible behavior will result in them paying for any increase in insurance. I feel that my kids become more independent in a responsible way when I gradually lengthen the leash. They need to learn to navigate, plan alternate routes on the fly for accidents or road work, car trouble, etc. They are not going to take responsiblitiy for that if there is always a parent in the car to take care of those things.

 

ETA: My oldest really didn't want to start driving, but I pushed it because I knew he needed this skill (we live in suburbia where cars are a necessity.) He is my Peter-Pan that I have had to push into maturity at almost every step. My next two are more enthusiastic about it - especially after seeing their older brother successfully obtain this skill.

 

ETA: Obviously, if I did not feel a child was responsible/mature enough to drive independently, I would not allow them to get a license. But they can get one at 18 without my sayso, even if they aren't mature. Also, you don't have to take any drivers' ed, nor do you need the 50 hours of supervised driving to get a license at 18. I would strongly discourage a not-ready driver to get a lot more experience under my direct supervision before the child was ready to take the test.

[Tokyomarie]

Oldest daughter took driver's ed at 16yo and was under graduated licensing rules, so couldn't take the road test until she had 50 hrs. of driving under her belt. It took quite awhile to accue those hours because I would not let her drive when her siblings were in the car. She got her license just after she turned 17yo.

 

Next daughter took driver's ed just after her 16th birthday but her learning challenges/processing issues, as well as lack of confidence, meant that she wasn't actually ready to take her test until she was almost 21yo.

 

Both girls initially wanted to drive but both slowed down a bit when they realized the responsibility of being behind the wheel on highly congested roads.

 

Ds also has some learning/processing challenges, but his big thing is lack of desire and difficulty trying new things- especially when they are not his idea. He finally took driver's ed last summer, at my insistence. Then because of family crisis never had a chance to get behind the wheel again until after Christmas. So, at 18yo, we are just getting rolling with getting driving practice. I'm hoping he'll have his license in about 5-6 months.

 

Honestly, I also look at the brain research, and coupled with the congestion on the roads in all but the most rural areas, I feel it's really better for most kids to wait until 18yo to drive on their own. I still would rather they be practicing with a licensed driver starting at 16 or 17yo. I'm hoping insurance rates for my son will be a tad lower than had he gotten his license at 16yo, but I know they don't really start to go down until about 21yo.

[catz]

About the "brain development" view: this makes no sense to me as a reason. (I have not read the studies, though.) Biologically, our children are "adults" when they go through puberty. Do you really think God or Nature designed it such that we are capable of having a child, but not capable of driving a car for several more years?

 

 

Yes, biologically our kids are adults when they can reproduce, but human beings did not evolve to drive vehicles. The brain of an 16 year old is different than that of a 25 year old, and I don't think it's any coincidence that this age coincides with when insurance rates drop. Just picking a few random related links, there are many more out there on this topic. And maybe you did just want to post a JAWM. LOL.

 

http://www.livescience.com/7005-brains-young-adults-fully-mature.html

http://www.abqtrib.com/news/2007/mar/30/brain-doesnt-mature-until-20s-experts-say/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21795544

[Rebecca VA]

Driving is much more treacherous now than it was a generation ago. There are many, many more cars on the road. Drivers now text and chat on cell phones. There are many immigrants who can barely read English and who have no respect for the rules of our roads. There are distractions -- signs, cross streets, and shopping centers -- where there used to be quiet, open road. It's not as "forgiving" an environment as it used to be. You just can't compare what teens experience now to what things were like 20, 30, or 40 years ago.