Would you/ have you paired up with someone who doesn't read books.

[Meriwether]

My Dh doesn't read books. He reads very well. He is not stupid or uneducated. He is very sucessful in his field. He will read articles and reports related to his field. He just doesn't enjoy reading. We agree on politics and religion so we have pleasant discussions on those issues. He enjoys documentaries and listens to me when I want to talk out an idea. I don't find him to be lacking as a person or as a spouse because he doesn't enjoy reading. Really, it is so much more important that he pays my Amazon bill without griping than that he enjoys reading himself.

[Lady Marmalade]

I did, and it's working just fine. I don't understand it, I really don't. I don't understand the idea of not wanting to pick up a book and read for fun, but that's how it is.

 

In the 14 years we've been together, I've literally seen him pick up books only once in his life. There was one winter where he was laid off from work and someone recommended he try reading the Left Behind series. So he actually did. He read all the books there were at the time- but it literally took him the entire time he was laid off. This was both a blessing and a curse. It kept him busy and out of my hair, but at the same time, he didn't DO anything else. That was annoying.

 

I'm raising a pair of bookworms, thankfully. So far anyway. The only problems we have is when the subject of book reading comes up and he starts to get irritated and just says that he doesn't like to read. I worry sometimes that the kids will pick up that attitude.

 

But it certainly doesn't affect life in the grand scheme of things. I pick up a book and curl up for a few hours, he does something ese. We certainly don't need to be doing the same things all the time. That would be dull.

[2squared]

Well how's this to an alternative to reading together...

I've spent a few nights this last fortnight, sitting in fold out chairs, on a hill, sharing a couple of ciders/beers watching sunsets and the sky fill with a zillion stars, just talking in the dark til late.

 

I guess that sort of answers my question eh?

 

That sounds perfectly lovely.

 

My dh is another who would prefer to be out in the world rather than reading about it. He pulls me out of my comfort zone, and I do the same to him. I chuckle the rare times I see him reading to the kids. It's not that he doesn't like reading, it's just that he prefers to be doing something with his body. That's probably why he's still lean at 40yo+. I like that he's lean. ;)

 

My dh is an attorney. He never reads outside of work. He is extremely handy, and spends every available moment outside. My kids love being outside as well, and they have picked up his love of nature. They have picked up a love of reading from me. It's a good combination for us.

 

[Halftime Hope]

i'm not going to answer the OP's question, but pose another to the OP. For me, reading is all about excitement about life, about learning new things, and about seeing things from new perspectives. I want to be learning every single day until I die.

 

If that's what reading does for you, and that other person doesn't share that same joie de vivre in some other way (perhaps not in reading at all), will you be able to live with it contentedly?

 

Dh is not much of a reader b/c of his dyslexia, but he was the guy that listened to the radio in the car and scoured the newspaper looking for interesting things for us to do as a family. It worked for me.

[Mrs Mungo]

My dh is not a big reader, but a large part of that is how hard his brain works at his job. It is pretty consuming. He is highly intelligent, and we can have discussions about a variety of topics. He is just not going to be reading Les Mis any time soon (or ever, probably). He does like business books, military history and other assorted non-fiction.

 

I do have to admit that I have rarely met anyone outside of my family who measures up to what I consider a "big reader." So, my perception is probably skewed.

 

We both love to travel, we both love things like historical documentaries, he even liked going to the Shakespeare museum in DC. I could not have married a complete non-intellectual, but I never even dated those types. As it is, I love to go out on the boat with him-he fishes and I read. It works for us. :)

[BrookValley.]

My husband doesn't read, really. He has several books on his nightstand, but most of them have been there for more than a year and none have been finished. He would like to read and there are lots of books that interest him (in theory), but a) he reads pretty slowly, so he eventually just goes to bed and doesn't make much progress and B) he really doesn't have much time to sit and read. He's a well-educated, intelligent dude, but he just doesn't have the time or drive to sit and read novels. I've suggested that he read this or that over the years--I find lots of things he would probably love if he could ever actually read it through--but it usually doesn't happen.

 

It doesn't bother me at all. He also isn't into my horse obsession or my chicken hobby. We still talk about those things, though. DH will happily sit and let me chat him up all day about a book I'm reading, just as he'll let me discuss the ins and outs of chicken genetics for hours on end. He's kinda cool like that. And I try to return the favor by ignoring the TV when he's got Top Gear on. I'm probably reading a book, anyway!

 

OH but he has finished one book in the last few years...the first Twilight novel. :rofl: I think this is hilarious. It has provided me with no small amount of enertainment.

[TravelingChris]

My dd is recently engaged to a guy who is very nice, reasonably smart, attentive to her, has good morals, etc, but I am concerned about lifestyle choices. SHe is basically the same personality type as me (both of us are INTJ). Now I would be absolutely unhappy if I had married someone who doesn't like travel, fine cuisine, going to classical music concerts, art galleries, botanical gardens, bird watching, and this is also important= reading. Those are my imprtant things.Now what one reads wouldn't be so important- fiction. technical books, non fiction, magazines, etc. BUt I could not have married a non reader because that person wouldn't tolerate me very well. DH and I both read and [ep[;e have even commented on the fact that when all of our family would be waiting in some waiting room (since we are military, we would often have to all traipse somewhere to change IDs, or DLs, or other moving business), and all five of us would be reading. Now back to my dd- I don;t know whether her fiance reads like she does. Currently she reads less than normal because of her medical condition. But once it improves, I expect her to be the avid reader she was. Also, she loves going to musical performances- particularly classical, choral and opera. SHe likes to travel so much that her original requirement for a husband was that he be in the military or something else where he moves a lot. This guy will be inheriting his father's business and I don't think he really likes to travel. BUt they aren't getting married for at least 2.5 years so maybe it will work out. After all, my dh only found out that he likes some of the things I did once he tried them with me.

[Mama Geek]

I may be skewed but when I had just turned 18 and was still in high school I dated a 26 year old for a month or 2. He had a kid an was just coming out of a divorce. I know stupid choice to pick to date but he was a friend of a friend. What really got me was that I was headed to college in the fall and he just couldn't deal with being with someone more educated than him. I met my dh in college that fall and he just happened to be 26 also. He had a BA in Physics and liked to read. He went on to get his MS in Engineering. The best thing is I get to have my cake and eat it too, he is super handy at fixing just about anything. I do hate to admit it, but he is smarter than me. :tongue_smilie:

 

I know that how much you read is not a reflection on how smart or educated you are these were just some of the experiences that shaped me.

[Scarlett]

Following in the strong tradition on this board of asking total strangers for guidance on personal matters, rather than real people who know me.... ;)

 

Would you/ have you paired up with someone who doesn't read books. At all. Ever.

If so, can it work?

 

I'll add that all flat surfaces of our house have books. Yes that includes the 'big shelf', aka floor. We read. A lot.

I only saw my kids' father (who I was married to) read a book once.

The eldest child's Harry Potter, because I wouldn't let him turn on the TV while I was in active labour with the 2nd child.

 

However the non-reading wasn't the issue with that relationship, and this question is for now, not then.

See I would have said, no way, can't work. But now I'd kinda like it to.

 

My dh is very intelligent in an engineering kind of way. He can fix ANYTHING, build ANYTHING and wow do I love that. We have a fair amount of reading to do keeping up with our spiritual training but he does not read for fun.

 

I wouldn't trade him. :). We have a great relationship based on our mutual interests and shared viewpoints.....and chemistry! I think general intelligence compatibility is important, but not specifically " must read books".

[fairfarmhand]

Thank you for all your insights, I could easily have 'liked' them all.

I'm trying to be a bit rational while I still can, you know that signature about the brain working every minute between birth and falling in love?

I'm still able to use mine.

 

I am handy around the house/yard and I would like someone who would be able to work with me on projects.

I have truck, motorbike, semi (and car) licences and prefer to NOT be in a big town/city. So I don't neatly fit in with many intellectuals either.

(The 'subject in question' fits in well on these other points. My dd LOVES his neatly ordered junk pile and already has designs for some of it.)

 

Even with my intellectual friends of either sex, I often have to slow down and ratchet back when I see that look of incomprehension. That's what I have my dd(s), public lectures and on-line study/forums for. My friends are very good at helping to keep me on-track though.

But here I guess have have to either ratchet much sooner, or just not start those conversations. And I don't know how that would go every day. Previous main relationship was devoid of any conversation. That's not the case with this...friendship.

I guess the coversations I most love are those with someone I've know for years so they are peppered with half-quotes or references to shared knowledge. They do contain a lot of book (and Monty Python) etc.

 

Of course I'd love the whole package, but I am interested in those relationships where it might work, with the intellectual + book bits missing.

 

 

I'm wondering whether those to whom it does matter, obviously haven't.

Please continue, and I'll continue to muse. :)

I'm another who refuses to be categorized. I love my farm and garden, but am more intellectual (at the risk of sounding snooty and arrogant) than many of the farming families around. I love learning, art and good books. I am more rural and "earthy" than my intellectual, classically educating friends. Such a weird combo. My dh is much the same. Civil engineer, gifted painter and farmer. But we don't share many interests and it works. More important than books to me was whether my so could understand my conversations, respect my different needs, and follow my references.

[Hwin]

My husband is not a reader. He's maybe read one book in our whole marriage, which was the Explosive Child, because we were at our wits' end with our son.

 

HOWEVER. He will clean the house while I have my nose buried in a book and not make a single comment about my uselessness, so I'd say that's better than being married to a reader... we do have long conversations about current events etc.

[Kathryn]

DH has finished exactly one book in the 17 years we've been together. It does not have any effect on our relationship at all.

[justamouse]

My dh doesn't read books.

 

HOWEVER. He reads all day for work--FDA periodicals that would make my eyes explode and my legs twitch, and reads multiple newspapers every day, cover to cover. He's also reads the bible cover to cover--and when he finishes, he just goes back to page one and starts all over...

 

Does it effect our relationship? No, we both read the news and find lots to talk about, and he's very willing to talk about ideas. If there were *no* reading? I think that would make a relationship hard. Reading is very much a part of who I am.

 

So, is there NO reading, or just not reading what you would consider reading?

[bobbeym]

DH isn't a physical book reader, but will read things online. He listens to videos all.the.time though, so I got him an audio book for Christmas. I think he might actually listen to it.

[Momof3littles]

DH reads, although he doesn't read loads of books. However, he is a PhD scientist, and is very intellectually curious in general. He falls asleep within about 2 mins of his head hitting a pillow, so reading before bed doesn't work well for him. The man doesn't take much time for himself in the evenings. So he doesn't read lots and lots of books, but we are not big TV watchers, and he is intellectually curious in many other ways. He's always reading journal articles, news, we love talking about things we heard on NPR, etc. I am sure in a different season of life he would be reading more books. He has in the past and I'm sure will in the future.

 

I could not be with someone who isn't intellectually curious. I love that we both are passionate about learning new things.

[melissad2]

My dh doesn't really read much. He can't sit still long enough... :). However, he can fix anything and pretty much run any kind of equipment. He builds bridges for a living which is sexy enough for me :D

[Desert Rat]

My dh doesn't read books. He reads trivia books (World Records, etc), encyclopedia type interest books. He reads fishing magazines, National Geographic. But, novels? Nope. Not once in the almost 20 years we've been together. Okay. He did read a non-fiction anthropology book when we were first together.

 

He encourages our book addictions. He loves that we all love to read. He just isn't into reading himself.

Dh and I have lots and lots in common though. We have lots to talk to about otherwise and often spend 2 hours just chatting.

He does listen with rapt attention when I tell him about the books I'm reading though. It's one of the many things I truly love about this man.

[OH_Homeschooler]

My DH doesn't read books that often, maybe one a year. But he is smart and always has plenty to discuss. He does read, but like others have said he likes more current non-fiction stuff (magazine articles, etc.) There are a lot of ways to stay informed and entertained these days, it doesn't need to be all about reading!

 

And he would never bug me when I'm reading a book, he likes it too much when I'm not babbling on and on about something!

[Parrothead]

I don't think I answered for myself.

 

A reader wasn't on my list of requirements. I find that dh's love of reading is a bonus.

[Murphy101]

My dh doesn't read much. Star wars. Malcolm Gladwell, Douglas Adams. A mystery when he is on a flight. For every 1000 books I've read, he has probably read 1 or 2. It's never been a problem for us.

[Momling]

My partner hates reading... But she has plenty of other endearing qualities so that it doesn't really matter. She fixes things and cleans much better than me. She likes gardening and fishing and mushroom hunting - things that I find a little boring, but I love the veggies and fruits and nuts and salmon and trout and morels she can bring home. For her, reading is a non-productive task... A time wasted... not something to do for enjoyment. She will read a medical journal to look something up but otherwise avoids all books. One of our girls is like her, one is not. It does seem genetic I think since we used the same donor and each had one.

[RoughCollie]

My neighbor never reads books.

 

He brings me fresh tomatoes and other veg from his garden and homemade bread and chili. He can fix anything, cook anything, build anything, has a full complement of machines (front end loader, dump truck, wood chipper, crane thing) and a professional-level workshop for building furniture. He loves to talk about politics, history, psychology, cooking, and nature. He no longer has farm animals (hobby farmer), and he no longer hunts or fishes. He dammed part of our creek and made a habitat for frogs, and he stocks the creek with fish (outdoor decor). He is a bird watcher. He will share a flock of chickens with me (he has all the knowledge about them) as long as we keep them until they die of old age. He is veering toward becoming a vegetarian. He loves cats and takes in lots of stray farm cats ... they all come to his door when he whistles for them. As soon as he is done renovating his house, he'll move back in. Then he'll turn his apartment into an exercise room, which knowing him will look like a fitness center.

 

He is a very interesting guy, and we get along fine, even though I read a lot and he doesn't like dogs. He knows how to do everything I don't. He's an amazing guy -- you would never guess he is elderly because he is so active and fit. He was married briefly when he was young and has no children. So I have him under my microscope -- his life is what it is like to live without anyone else to be responsible for. I wouldn't like that (except in my daydreams, in which I am very wealthy), but he loves it. Most of his interests are solitary because he is very much an introvert.

 

Sometimes I think people who read as much as I do live their lives in a book, instead of getting out there and experiencing it. I have spent my entire adult life either going to school and working or raising my kids, with a little bit of time wedged in there in which I worked at my profession. I didn't experience a lot of things I would have enjoyed because I didn't have time and money. I did a lot of things with the kids when they were younger (before I became ancient and dumb), and while I enjoyed that, some were not activities I would have chosen to do had I not had kids (like camping). Of course, having kids means I did experience life and I did (and usually do) enjoy it. I just didn't experience a carefree existence of doing whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it, hence my interest in my neighbor's experiences. Luckily, he is delighted to have someone to talk with every couple of weeks. I think he finds my life to be as interesting and foreign to him as I find his. He cannot imagine having kids, a spouse, and a dog.

 

My best friend in Boston never reads. She, like my neighbor here, has plenty of things that she likes to do. She is an extrovert, and it is always fun to do do things with her. Anything I can think up, she will do with me, and vice versa. All of it is legal! Too bad she didn't move here with us.

 

This year, I plan to experience things and to read fewer books... some are former hobbies that I am taking up again, and some are activities that I will engage in with others (DH, the dog training club I belong to), and some are new things (MIT open courseware classes). Plus, my neighbor is going to plow a small garden for me so I can prove to him how I can do everything right and nothing will grow. He has even offered to teach me how to build a coffee table if he can get over his aversion to mid-century modern furniture.

 

In essence, I don't think that being a reader is the be all, end all. Plenty of people who don't read have interesting lives that the bookies among us are privileged to share, even a little bit like I do with my neighbor.

[Mom-ninja.]

Yes. I did marry someone who doesn't read. That said though when we were dating he had read 1984 and I was so impressed because he actually read. He went along and let me think he read all the time. ;)

 

In truth he almost never read. I think that was the first book he actually read.

 

He has since told me that he never read as a child and never read the books he was supposed to read for school. Reading was not supported or encouraged in his family. I don't think his dad has ever read a book.

 

The reason he read 1984 right around the time I met him was because he was changing aspects of his life and decided to give reading a book a try. He enjoyed the book, however he never picked up another one.

 

I will say that before I married I always pictured myself with someone who read a lot.

 

In the first 10 years of marriage he never read a book. He read his assigned sections of college textbooks but that was it. I was a little disappointed, but really the rest of him more than made up for his lack of reading. It was a minor thing for me. I was sad for him because I felt he was missing out.

 

It turns out we found out that he is dyslexic. That's why he never read. I suggested audio books and he's been hooked for the past few years. I even talked him into listening to Dickens! He likes it. :thumbup:

[YourFidgetyFriend]

It's hilarious how many people came into the thread to say their husbands don't read and then listed the things they do read :lol:

[Delighted3]

I don't think whether they read or not is such a big deal. My husband doesn't read much, but he is very intelligent. I know of at least 2 marriages where the woman is noticeably more intelligent than the man and it has caused a lot of frustration for the woman, especially after the glow of the fresh relationship wore off.

JMO,

Joy

[LostSurprise]

DH reads, but I would never call him a reader. He has always known that it is important to me though, and before we were married he even asked me to give him a list of the 3 most important books to me so that he could read them. I think he got through one. :tongue_smilie: He has always contributed to my addiction, and even spent our first anniversary in a used bookstore with me picking out 10 new books and reading the evening away.

 

Its always been more important to me that he's curious, interested in learning, and supportive of my interests.

 

DH has a pile of science fiction and technical books on our nightstand and he reads occasionally. He keeps up with ideas and news online for his job. He also reads all the rule books for boardgaming. He just has a harder time finishing books. They're harder to multi-task than online reading so they don't appeal to his ADD nature as much as other formats.

 

I often read to him in the car, and sometimes we have a book we're read together. Sometimes he'll even beat me to the end! Working together is a good motivator for him.

 

The bottom line is that he likes to be with me. It doesn't matter that I love reading. He wants to know what I'm doing and enjoying. The same goes for me. I may not be a programmer or into management techniques but I'm always curious about what's going on, what's changing, and how things work. The things we don't share are still of interest.

[Mrs Mungo]

It's hilarious how many people came into the thread to say their husbands don't read and then listed the things they do read :lol:

 

I listed things my dh reads, but he reads maybe a book or two in a year. I read 2 or 3 books a week. So, compared to me, he is not much of a reader. But, the first thing he did when we married was build a bookshelf for me. :)

[LMD]

My DH is a reader, we often make each other read books we've loved! We have great conversations about them, we're both still talking about The Grapes of Wrath months later (he made me read that one).

 

He's also very handy around the house, heck, he could build a house if he wanted.

 

He's also a keen gardener, I always have fresh vegies in the garden.

 

He's also a baker, daily fresh baked sourdough! Real sourdough!

 

He can also be a PITA. :D

[goldberry]

I think it depends what kind of conversation you need from your SO. I have the soul of an intellectual (without having the IQ to back it up :p) so when conversation was limited to work and web comics, I got desperate. We got around the issue by him reading the news and wiki articles online, and listening to podcasts. That way he was always able to come home with something he was willing to talk about and I was willing to listen to. Sometimes they were topics to discuss because we each knew different parts of the issue, sometimes it was a topic I hadn't much interest in but it wasn't web comics so I could listen, kwim?

 

 

 

 

:iagree: DH is not a reader, but stays well informed about the world and events. Conversation is the number one thing I enjoy in a relationship. (DH says once he figured out that good conversation was my "aphrodisiac" he had it in the bag! :blushing: )

 

So, I'm ok with him not being a reader, but would not be ok with him not being aware and intelligent enough to carry on interesting conversations.

[Pod's mum]

I don't think whether they read or not is such a big deal. My husband doesn't read much, but he is very intelligent. I know of at least 2 marriages where the woman is noticeably more intelligent than the man and it has caused a lot of frustration for the woman, especially after the glow of the fresh relationship wore off.

JMO,

Joy

 

 

Where's the 'unlike' button Joy? That's not what I want to hear! LOL

 

What I'm mostly getting is that the intellectual side is more important. Not good news here. And no, he has never read any book, even in his few years at school.

He does run his own business and does his own bookwork.

I'm struggling through the reading for an essay on the ethics of 17th Century Social Contract Theory. Some of it is currently beyond my ken, (because it's such a flawed theory!!!) and rather than rubbishing it, he's encouraging me to get stuck into it. (Yep, essay due so I'm 'investing' lots of time on here instead.)

 

A good friend, educated, intellectual and a reader who knows us both, carefully commented (when asked), "He's not an intellectual."

"And he might be a bit OCD."

"Have you seen how clean his house is!? "

 

"But he is a good man."

 

I leave a trail of destruction behind me. And am very ADD; about to get assessed, watch this space.

He would have a LOT to deal with. But seems interested.

 

 

Maybe I should have started with the question...Would you/have you paired with someone who is not an intellectual?

 

Though I might not have liked the answers.

 

Anyway, this has been helpful. I'll try to keep the brakes applied and see where this goes or not.

It's early enough to just be really comfortable, and while that might sound very middle aged, it is also really...comfortable. Which feels very good. Particularly after the last few years.

[Janie Grace]

I don't know that it would be a deal-breaker, but as a lifelong bibliophile (at some times bordering on obsessive), I find it very attractive that my dh reads for pleasure.

[Rosie_0801]

 

Maybe I should have started with the question...Would you/have you paired with someone who is not an intellectual?

 

I did, but only because he did a good job of appearing to be one. He was my intellectual superior to begin with because he'd had a better education, but growing past him was really not an enjoyable experience.

[RoughCollie]

Maybe I should have started with the question...Would you/have you paired with someone who is not an intellectual?

 

No, absolutely not.

[Georgiana Daniels]

My hubby doesn't read books. Ever. At all.

 

Ironic, since I write them :)

 

That said, I don't mind. Especially since he gives me all the reading time I want, and the freedom to buy books at will.

[Homemama2]

Dh only reads the newspaper and hunting magazines, while reading is probably my favorite past time. However, he can build bookshelves like nobody's business....one whole wall is bookshelves in our house. He also surprised me with a kindle I didn't ask for. He's a keeper in my book. :)

[KungFuPanda]

I would trade loving to read for being handy around the house and yard, if you are talking about a DH or significant other.

 

 

You know, you may be on to something. DH and I have no interest in home projects, but we're always reading something. Our yard is not pretty right now. There's something to be said for living life instead of just reading about it all the time. I kind of wish ONE of us cared more about landscaping and home decorating than we do about reading, but we just don't. We're both reading right now. The kitchen is not clean :-/

 

As much as I love to read, my best memories in life are about DOING, not reading. I wonder if the non-readers get more DOING memories?

[Delighted3]

 

What I'm mostly getting is that the intellectual side is more important. Not good news here. And no, he has never read any book, even in his few years at school.

He does run his own business and does his own bookwork.

 

I don't necessarily equate intelligence with being an intellectual or with level of education. Like I previously said, my husband doesn't read much, but we are fairly equal in intelligence level. I don't try to discuss the classics with him and he doesn't discuss the working of computers or HVAC with me. And if we do, then the other listens politely with a glazed over look until we can move on. Not lack of intelligence on either side, just a lack of interest. LOL I also think some intellectuals need to be paired with someone with a lot of plain old common sense which it sounds like your guy has if he successfully runs his own business.

 

A good friend, educated, intellectual and a reader who knows us both, carefully commented (when asked), "He's not an intellectual."

"And he might be a bit OCD."

"Have you seen how clean his house is!? "

 

"But he is a good man."

 

Well, good men are hard to find.

 

I leave a trail of destruction behind me. And am very ADD; about to get assessed, watch this space.

He would have a LOT to deal with. But seems interested.

 

Maybe a nice solid down to earth guy is just what you need. Someone who will take care of the minutia in life while you have your head stuck in a book. LOL.

 

Maybe I should have started with the question...Would you/have you paired with someone who is not an intellectual?

 

It's early enough to just be really comfortable, and while that might sound very middle aged, it is also really...comfortable. Which feels very good. Particularly after the last few years.

 

I wish you the best of luck. I wouldn't give up on a nice man just because he doesn't read, but I would make sure that he isn't so dull that he bores you to death in the future or that he will make decisions that will drive you crazy for the rest of your life because he has no common sense.

 

[Pod's mum]

Do you know what's funny?

I've never thought of myself as 'an intellectual'.

No-one in my family has gone on to higher education. And this is my second attempt. Yet I've always mixed and conversed with ease with friends who are.

Ha, maybe now I is one?

 

 

ETA: Need to get OFF here now, and start 'being' that woman who reads and educates herself.

Thank you for the insights.

[Plateau Mama]

If my husband read like I do, I don't know who would take care of the kids ;-). He tells me (& our daughter) that we read too much. He's totally joking (I think).

[RoughCollie]

I kind of wish ONE of us cared more about landscaping and home decorating than we do about reading, but we just don't. We're both reading right now. The kitchen is not clean :-/

 

As much as I love to read, my best memories in life are about DOING, not reading. I wonder if the non-readers get more DOING memories?

 

That happens here, too. Reading is our priority.

 

I know a lot of non-readers who mostly watch television during their free time, and who mostly talk about each other and their mutual friends when they socialize. Pretty boring, if you ask me.

 

Maybe the super do-ers and the super readers are two sides of the same coin. I'd be more of a super-doer in this stage of my life, if there was anything to do here that really interests me. I had to really work at coming up with things to liven up my actual life, and that's mostly because the rural lifestyle isn't one that fits me well. When I'm in Atlanta or Boston, my energy level increases tenfold - there is such a large variety of people and of things to do. DH is an introverted super-reader; he would be happy anywhere as long as he has his books, his slippers, a comfortable chair, and regular meals cooked for him, with points added if Fenway Park, Barnes & Noble, American chain restaurants (not fast food), a large and busy mall, and Brooks Brothers were nearby.

[AKshanmar]

My dh never reads for pleasure, only business. Reading is my favorite thing in the whole world. It makes me sad because it is something we don't share, but it isn't a deal breaker. The sadest part is that only my oldest enjoys reading. I blame that on him!

[Laura Corin]

Husband and I talk about books a lot. We did when we were getting to know each other too - it was one of the reasons we became close. I would have to find another area of commonality that was equally strong in order for books not be be important. And that person would have to appreciate and value my reading.

 

Laura

[EducationX2]

Maybe I should have started with the question...Would you/have you paired with someone who is not an intellectual?

 

Have I? Yes.

 

Will I again? Probably not.

 

Many of the people I dated when I was younger, even long term relationships, were with people who weren't... 'intellectual.' But that was a different time in my life.

 

IF I settle down with someone now, one of the things I want is someone to share 'smart things' with. I read, A LOT, follow the news and current events closely, and enjoy discussions (and debates!) about important issues. So much of my life is wrapped up in intellectual pursuits, I can't really imagine sharing my life with someone who doesn't share that.

[Hoot]

My DH is not a reader. We've been married 14 yrs. and together 16 yrs. The only books I've ever seen him read were the Harry Potter series, and even then he listened to them on audio while reading along in the book. He would just rather watch tv than read. It's never been a big issue for us. He doesn't understand my desire/ability to read over 100 pgs. in a day or participate in a 24 hr. reading challenge and I don't understand the things he picks out in a movie or on tv to critique but it has never been a problem. I read when I want to and watch tv with him as well in order to spend time with him. I do recall a handful of times when I wished that he would read a book that I thought would be of use or interest but overall, it hasn't been a big deal.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Not likely. Too much of my life involves great books, shared experiences and similar reading backgrounds are a huge part of our lives together, dh as well as the kids.

[JessReplanted]

Absolutely. "Book Reader" was not one of my determining factors for who I would marry. ;)

 

My husband does read non-fiction, but he does not read any fiction at all. He is a God loving man,

a great husband, and a wonderful father, but he's really not a 'reader'.

 

 

Thankfully, God has given me a son who loves good story as much as I do.

I've been able to share all of my favorites with him, and he's pushed me to discover some

new ones too (like The Lord of the Rings - which I never would have stuck with on my own).