kalanamak Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I grew up with an unconscious belief that people improved with age; that a 44 year old would be wiser and more mature and happier than a 22 year old; that until dementia came upon you, you learned more and more. It was not something I recall being told, and this belief was so ingrained, I never even thought it until I started seeing it disproved. Some people go to the dogs. Some shining, hopeful college students end up as homeless, toothless alcoholics at 50. I always knew there was ethnic cleansing and rape and plagues. But I didn't know about people going to seed. What has been your bitterest lesson? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mona100 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 The bitterest truth for me is realizing that you can break your own heart thru actions that you yourself have done. Sounds silly I know. Wish I had realized this 10 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Michelle* Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Along a similar line, the realization that people don't become Greatest Generation types as they get older. Those people were like that when they were young and they remained that way as they aged. The next generations will continue their general behavior and attitude as they age. I was really dismayed by that realization. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, you can't have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That there are people in this world that no one cares about. They could disappear tomorrow and no one would notice. That everyone thinks it's someone else's job to care about that random person in your life, when in reality your brief interaction with them may be the one things that keeps them from going off the proverbial cliff. I have specific examples, but I can't share them here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Unless I deny the very core of who I am, I will never really fit in anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That survival means relying on no one but myself. This proves itself true frequently. The corollary to this is that you do people no favours by enabling them because you will die and then they have no survival skills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I always thought when I was older and mature, I'd have deep friendships. I have sadly found this to be false. I was also stupid and thought having children would be fun. I now hope that it's true... Being a grandparent is the fruit :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Someone you love with all your heart can betray you and your family and cause lifelong sadness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That you can't change someone no matter how hard you try. And most people aren't willing to change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That sometimes the things you have always thought are your strengths are really your weaknesses. Talk about turning the world on its head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) That life is random and chaotic. Edited November 3, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loudwater School Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 It isn't possible to make/keep a promise to love someone forever because no person has that much control over an emotion set that is so delicate. You can promise to try, promise to stay with someone and act loving even when those feelings aren't there, but all promises to love forever are just wishful thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That you can't ever put the 'weary load' down. Ever. Somehow you are a person that is the one that carries the loads for everyone else and no one is going to come along and tote it for you. That's just who you are and your purpose in life. I know a lot of people don't care for the novel 'Gone With the Wind' but that part always resonated with me - Scarlett singing that song in her head as she trudged home to Tara only to realize that she would be the one that had to be strong - no one was going to come along and take care of things. It was her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That survival means relying on no one but myself. aka it's who you know, not what you know. . :iagree:to both of these. As well as despite parents working hard to convince their children otherwise, Monsters are real, they just aren't lurking under your bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar7709 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 In general, you can't generalize. It is always more complicated or nuanced than a sound byte. Shades of gray, not black and white. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 In general, you can't generalize. It is always more complicated or nuanced than a sound byte. Shades of gray, not black and white. I was already having a terrible day, and reading this thread makes me want to jump off a bridge. All of it is true, and I could probably add more, but I can't bear it right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyLady Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Wow. All of the above. Seriously. :glare: I'll also add to always assume people are going to talk behind your back, no matter how close you think you are to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That "Everything happens for a reason" is not actually true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 You NEVER know the entire story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 What a depressing thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) Sometimes choosing the path that is the hardest for you can be the best for others. So put on a smile and get through another day. Edited November 3, 2012 by Excelsior! Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That it is MY attitude that affects how the children behave, not what is happening around us. (must keep positive) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I can trust no one. No one and nothing stay the same. Everything fails. The only thing that is steady and constant and REAL is God. He is always there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That it is MY attitude that affects how the children behave, not what is happening around us.(must keep positive) :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kidlets4me Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That some people really shouldn't have been parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I'll add another, not to be depressing, but I get reminded of this when I watch some movies. This is more bittersweet. Your greatest victory will not end in a parade or a group hoisting you on their shoulders to help you celebrate. There may never be that one day when the entire town/village/family/city/country gathers to congratulate you. Your greatest victory may be in the silence of your soul, it may be in that one moment where you stand up one more time or do one more thing that consumes every ounce of courage you have. You may not see that in the movies because silent victories don't sell as many tickets. So, maybe don't compare your life to a movie. :lol: In a greater sense, sometimes you have to remember to stop and pat yourself on the back, no one else may ever do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 You really, truly can't make everyone happy, no matter how hard you try and how much of yourself you give. Some people are always going to be offended/mad/unhappy/unsatisfied with your best offerings. When there's nothing I can do about it, it probably had nothing to do with me in the first place. I'm only in my early 30s though, so I probably have many bitter lessons yet to learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That bad things don't just happen to other people, we all take a turn at some point. That being right isn't the most important thing, and sometimes it's better just to let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I'm only in my early 30s though, so I probably have many bitter lessons yet to learn. Gee, now that's a really cheery thought, isn't it? :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 If you give someone something to use against you, they will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 No matter how much you love your kids, and how good your parenting, they may still act like a jerk, and may even turn out to be not such a nice person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, you can't have it. And sometimes, no matter how hard you work for something and how carefully and calculatingly you make all the "right" decisions and moves, you still won't ever get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sisyphus Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Seriously the most bitter lesson for me has been that often, the bad guys DO win. The bullies prevail. The one with the most money gets what they want- not what they deserve. Really horrible people succeed at the expense of good people. It's really freaking depressing- I keep waiting for karma to come round, and it just...doesn't. One situation in particular, not even related to me, I watch and just boggle that no one stops this, no one says this isn't right, and the good people just lose and the bad just end up on top. It's just so gross.:confused: I thought life would be fairer than that.I was wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I will outlive my child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Michelle* Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I will outlive my child. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That, very often, people don't get what they deserve. Good or bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Seriously the most bitter lesson for me has been that often, the bad guys DO win. The bullies prevail. The one with the most money gets what they want- not what they deserve. Really horrible people succeed at the expense of good people. It's really freaking depressing- I keep waiting for karma to come round, and it just...doesn't. One situation in particular, not even related to me, I watch and just boggle that no one stops this, no one says this isn't right, and the good people just lose and the bad just end up on top. It's just so gross.:confused: I thought life would be fairer than that.I was wrong. I think it does, but it just takes an extremely long time! Look at Sandusky, and serial killers, and that guy in Indiana who stole 200 million from his victims in an investment scam. And Bernie Madoff. And there is always the afterlife, for those of us who believe that your deeds shall return on your own head. I may not see it, but it will be made right sooner or later. I just want it to be sooner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I will outlive my child. I'm sorry. I hope you are wrong and he/she defeats all odds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Things may happen for a reason, but that doesn't mean it's a good reason. This is not Paradise. Please yourself because trying to please others is a waste of your time. Your children will reflect your attitude....whether it is positive or negative...never forget that. Learn everything you can. At some point, one must make their own decisions. Arm yourself with knowledge. The best you can hope for is ambivalence. No one gets out of here alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I will outlive my child. Oh! :crying: :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) nm Edited November 3, 2012 by mommymilkies Didn't realize our realizations were to be debated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I will outlive my child. Oh no! I hadn't see that before :( I'm so sorry :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That sometimes your very best is not, and will never be, good enough. That sometimes the monsters are real. That often the people who should love you and accept you for who you truly are either cannot or will not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I should always trust my gut. That I will outlive my child. :crying: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That happy marriages only happen in fairy tales. No. I have one. Sure, we have our disagreements and we can annoy each other sometimes, but it is a remarkably happy marriage. Not a fairy tale. A real one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 You can do everything "right" and still get the stuffing kicked out of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Everything changes and everything ends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbi in Texas Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That life is not fair, and will never be, this side of eternity. That bad things happen to good people. The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. But, when I am the one that bad happens to, it really brings it home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I will outlive my child. That's a pretty craptastic truth.:angelsad2: That you really can't trust anyone else fully. That happy marriages only happen in fairy tales. That what you want doesn't really matter. Second chances don't always happen. Do it right the first time. Well, I have a pretty happy marriage. It sure isn't perfect, and sometimes I want to drop him off on the side of the road (and I'm sure he feels the same way about be;)) but it is healthy. That man is a saint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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