Cheerleading and modesty?

[Stayseeliz]

Update #35

 

We are conservative Christians. We are not dresses only but the girls don't wear short shorts, bikinis, etc. I've always strived to help them dress and live out modesty.

 

My son is playing youth football this year and the girls wanted to cheer. I saw the uniform and after talking to the director of the football league who assured me that the cheerleading moves would be modest I signed up my oldest two girls.

 

Everything was fine at first. The head coach and I even talked about the fact that there wouldn't be any booty shaking. The cheers were cute and simple. A couple of weeks ago they added a few cheers in that had a bit of "booty shaking" and I instructed my girls to just step from side to side during those moves. There is a new coach helping the head coach and I guess this is where it's coming from.

 

We missed practice all of last week because we were sick. When we showed up to the game last night the new coach was in charge. She had a large boombox and played several songs where the girls "danced" to the music. It was a lot of booty shaking. A lot. My girls were floored as they had not practiced these moves and just tried to do their best to follow along without being immodest. It was pretty bad. They weren't rolling their hips and rear ends but it was enough to make me uncomfortable. There are lots of creepy men in the stands watching them cheer. I didn't like it at all.

 

The director of the rec center in charge of the entire league has pretty much given the cheer coaches free reign to do what they want. I don't think it would help to talk to him. I do plan on talking to the head coach tonight before practice but I'm not sure how to word things so I don't sound rude or judgemental. I just don't want my girls shaking their keisters and I was promised they wouldn't be doing so.

 

I'm also trying to figure out what to do if my concerns fall on deaf ears. Do I let them cheer without doing the booty shaking or should I pull them out all together? I was pretty uncomfortable with what I saw last night.

 

For the record my girls are 4 and 8 but my 8yo looks like an 11yo and is already in that preteen phase where she is "budding". We are not prudes but we try to keep them looking like little girls. I'm ticked about this. It's just unnecessary.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Stayseeliz

[Wendi]

I'd talk to the head coach, and try not to be too emotional about it. "It seems like the assistant coach is taking the routines in a different direction than what I expected based on our conversation earlier. If so, I won't be able to let my girls continue, since it's not what I expected/agreed on."

 

Wendi

[Mommy22alyns]

I would pull them out altogether. Cheerleading and modesty don't seem to go very well together. (Let me be clear, I completely agree with you!)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'd talk to the head coach, and try not to be too emotional about it. "It seems like the assistant coach is taking the routines in a different direction than what I expected based on our conversation earlier. If so, I won't be able to let my girls continue, since it's not what I expected/agreed on."

 

Wendi

 

:iagree:

[Janie Grace]

Wow, I was thinking this was high-school cheering and I thought, "sadly, this probably just comes with the territory." I was going to say you should just pull them out because it's par for the course for cheering.

 

BUT... 4 and 8??? Butt-shaking at that age is just gross. I'm a conservative Christian too, but even if I weren't, I really think I'd find that inappropriate and alarming. I guess I'd just start asking questions of the head coach, not in an accusatory way but just to learn how things went in this direction and how she feels about it. Perhaps she will redirect the assistant coach and the routines will be toned down. You don't know if your concerns will fall on deaf or receptive ears until you try.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Honestly, I was thinking "that's what you get when you agree to cheer-leading" and then I saw the ages are 4 & 8! :blink: Absolutely girls that young should not be dancing like that, and if the attitude doesn't stop and it keeps going I would pull them completely. Otherwise you'll have the peer pressure from the other girls and they'll make your kids feel like freaks. Talk to the head coach, talk to the other coach, and if they don't change, leave. Quickly.

[shanvan]

I think you are going to have to pull them out. Cheerleading inevitably leads to all the dance moves you aren't going to like. I was a cheerleader in high school on a very ambitious squad. We even traveled cross country to competitions. There are lots of things I did then that I wouldn't do now. Why put your girls into an activity they aren't going to be able to pursue? AND, they are going to stick out like a sore thumb by standing on the side. The other parents and girls are going to notice and think you are judging them. They are NOT going to be understanding. Find them something else to do.

[Abigail4476]

I understand the frustration, but if the cheer team doesn't mesh with your values as a family, pull the girls out. I don't think it's reasonable to expect to have any control over the cheer program unless you're the coach. I would just take them out and find a better sport in which to involve them. :001_smile:

[amsunshine]

I think you are going to have to pull them out. Cheerleading inevitably leads to all the dance moves you aren't going to like. I was a cheerleader in high school on a very ambitious squad. We even traveled cross country to competitions. There are lots of things I did then that I wouldn't do now. Why put your girls into an activity they aren't going to be able to pursue? AND, they are going to stick out like a sore thumb by standing on the side. The other parents and girls are going to notice and think you are judging them. They are NOT going to be understanding. Find them something else to do.

 

I tend to agree. There are many other activities your girls could be doing where their time and efforts would be much better spent.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I'd speak up for sure, but if there was no change made, I'd yank them and not look back. Of course this assumes I'd put my girls in cheer in the first place--which I wouldn't, for just this reason.

[Stayseeliz]

Thanks for the advice. I was told in no uncertain terms at the start of the season that there would be NO booty shaking or I never would have signed them up. Bleh, I hate being lied to. I really thought it would be okay. Cute and modest. I never would have signed them up if I had known what it would turn into.

 

And yes the booty shaking at that age is inappropriate for anyone regardless of religious views. What kind of message does that send?

[PeacefulChaos]

I'd talk to the head coach, and try not to be too emotional about it. "It seems like the assistant coach is taking the routines in a different direction than what I expected based on our conversation earlier. If so, I won't be able to let my girls continue, since it's not what I expected/agreed on."

 

Wendi

 

:iagree:

And if it does fall on deaf ears, then I would pull them out.

[Julie in CA]

Let me issue my apology to those who might be offended by my opinion, BUT...

 

Cheerleading always seems sleazy to me, not only from what I've seen in person, but in the leering sort of attention that even the word "cheerleader" often seems to bring up.

 

I wouldn't even start cheerleading.

I would, however, find an alternate activity. Maybe gymnastics?

[amsunshine]

Thanks for the advice. I was told in no uncertain terms at the start of the season that there would be NO booty shaking or I never would have signed them up. Bleh, I hate being lied to.

 

And yes the booty shaking at that age is inappropriate for anyone regardless of religious views. What kind of message does that send?

 

It sounds like you weren't exactly lied to, but that the program has come under new leadership and thus, has been taken in a different direction. Still, definitely frustrating!

[Lisbeth]

I would pull them out altogether. Cheerleading and modesty don't seem to go very well together. (Let me be clear, I completely agree with you!)

 

This!

[Julie in CA]

I understand the frustration, but if the cheer team doesn't mesh with your values as a family, pull the girls out.

I sort of disagree. What sort of society have we become when girls that young are encouraged to perform moves that are specifically designed to arouse the pervy types, and the parents are expected to accept it without comment? It really shouldn't mesh with *anyone's* values to have a 4 yo doing thrusting bumps & grinds. :confused:

[KungFuPanda]

I wouldn't pull them without talking to the coaches. At that age, it's easy to substitute movements in a dance routine. When my daughter was younger I ran a homeschool cheer camp where I promised that the girls would shake "nothing but their pom pons." Really, it's not that challenging for a decent choreographer. If they aren't aware of the problem, they never have a chance to fix it. If you leave, it will be clear why and they might think twice in the future when planning for this age group.

 

ETA: it's my guess that 'creepy men' prefer childish children, so skipping the dancing won't afford your girls any extra protection. You may want to remove ALL your children from that situation if there truly IS a Creepy Guy problem.

Edited September 25, 2012 by KungFuPanda

[Crimson Wife]

This is why I wouldn't allow my girls to do cheerleading. Color guard is fine because I've seen the routines for our local color guard squad and it's totally fine- just a bunch of flag waving and baton twirling. My oldest isn't interested, however. We'll have to see whether younger DD wants to try it when she gets old enough. They even have a special needs squad if she's not able to keep up with the general squad.

[Parrothead]

I think you are going to have to pull them out. Cheerleading inevitably leads to all the dance moves you aren't going to like. I was a cheerleader in high school on a very ambitious squad. We even traveled cross country to competitions. There are lots of things I did then that I wouldn't do now. Why put your girls into an activity they aren't going to be able to pursue? AND, they are going to stick out like a sore thumb by standing on the side. The other parents and girls are going to notice and think you are judging them. They are NOT going to be understanding. Find them something else to do.

:iagree:Cheerleading and the modesty you are looking for are not going to match up in at the high school level at all. Making the squad is competitive. Not being allowed to booty shake will be the least of your problems if you let them continue.

[gardening momma]

AND, they are going to stick out like a sore thumb by standing on the side. The other parents and girls are going to notice and think you are judging them.

She didn't say they'd be standing on the side. They'd still be participating in the cheer, but be moving from side to side during the cheer--you know, move their feet to move the whole body back & forth, instead of just the hips/butt.

[Mabelen]

Thinking long term, with your views, I would find a different activity entirely for my kids.

 

I don't object to cheerleading on a religious basis, but it is one aspect of mainstream American culture that still makes me uncomfortable. I don't judge parents whose kids do it but I will try my hardest to steer mine away from it. I guess I find the whole cheer for the boys with certain moves thing a little inappropriate for girls. My youngest would have loved cheerleading. So far I have managed to steer her into ballet and now rhythmic gymnastics. If she wants to do color guard in high school I am Ok with that.

[magnificent_baby]

I would talk to the coach first, but with the intention of pulling them out. Maybe she will reconsider the routines.

 

Unfortunately that is the trend these days, and I would not be comfortable with my Dd in it for the same reasons.

 

(Don't get me started on high school volleyball uniforms either! Ugh!)

[Dmmetler]

It's going to depend on the coach and what league they're in. Upward Sports and Young Champions cheer are both MUCH more conservative in what their cheerleaders wear and the moves they do than the local youth sports group here. My DD cheers YCOA, and it's very typical for the under 10's to be dancing to music that, frankly, the kids would probably deem "babyish" anywhere else-I've heard the Spongebob Squarepants theme, "I'm Elmo and I know it", 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, The Gummi Bear song, The Chipmunks and lots of '80s rock and Disney pop. Music and choreography must be approved before a team gets to competition. The uniforms are quite covering-literally all you can see of DD's skin when she's in her cheer uniform are her hands, legs from knees to ankles (and that's assuming they're inside-if they're outside, her legs are covered, too) and head!

 

Upward Sports, from what I've seen, is similar on attire and is mostly sideline cheering and chanting, with little dance at all. Lots of jumping around and pom-pom waving, mostly.

[saraha]

I agree to talking to the head coach, but you may ultimately have to pull them from THIS particular program.

However, it is not my experience that cheering and modesty cannot coexist. We also forbade cheerleading until last year after seeing the cheerleading in peewee football. We were introduced to the Upward Bound program at our local Church of Christ. The uniforms are cheerleader, but they must wear tshirts or turtlenecks that tuck in so no midriff shows, and if they are particularly long legged, are encouraged to wear leggings. The cheers are clean and the moves cute and appropriate. THe coaches are given handbooks of acceptable moves/chants. The coaches spend the first part of the first practice showing the girls how to sit on the floor modestly (legs folded to the side) and girls can be called out for behavior or dress. They even went over what was allowed to be worn at practices (no midriffs, no shorts, no skin showing when you bend over, no low rise pants) This has been a great compromise for us. Our girls know they can cheer until they age out of the program, then cheering is done. THey love it, the cute uniforms, the cheers and dancing, the comradery of the team, and the hair.

[SunnyDays]

I do think this program sounds like a bad fit, unfortunately. I know you did your due diligence when you enrolled them... unfortunately, all it takes is one person to change the direction completely. I have heard good things about Upward cheer, but again, that only goes for a few years.

 

For what it's worth, I was a cheerleader in high school, and on dance team in college. I truly didn't feel like we did a bunch of inappropriate stuff... we had very "drill team" like routines and dances, and it was about performance and skill. Yes, it was also partly about being cute and perky, but I think most people thought of it in a more wholesome way back then. What I see on sidelines these days, however, looks very different from my day... I guess times have just changed that much. I didn't think I was *that* old, LOL!! :D

[Trresh]

You may want to remove ALL your children from that situation if there truly IS a Creepy Guy problem.

 

This! Could you elaborate more on the creepy men in the stands?

[Stayseeliz]

This! Could you elaborate more on the creepy men in the stands?

 

Hmmm I guess the guys aren't "creepy" in that I know something to be wrong with them but there are a lot of guys that look iffy. I watch my kids like a hawk at the games because anyone could pay $2 and get in and have access to lots of kids. It makes me nervous.

[fairfarmhand]

I'd talk to the head coach, and try not to be too emotional about it. "It seems like the assistant coach is taking the routines in a different direction than what I expected based on our conversation earlier. If so, I won't be able to let my girls continue, since it's not what I expected/agreed on."

 

Wendi

:iagree:

 

I cheered for my Christian school in high school and we had fun but did none of the dance moves. It is possible to cheer modestly, but is really rare these days.

 

Would they be interested in cheering for Upward?

[shanvan]

She didn't say they'd be standing on the side. They'd still be participating in the cheer, but be moving from side to side during the cheer--you know, move their feet to move the whole body back & forth, instead of just the hips/butt.

 

I see I misread that part, but it will still be obvious to at least the parents and other kids on the squad that they are not participating in those moves. I just don't have a lot of hope that all the parents will agree and back up the OP's POV. I'd like to be wrong on that, but I don't think I am. And cheerleading is still leading to more of those moves if the Dc want to pursue it. I just don't see it leading to anything but more trouble for the OP.

 

BTW, I only did cheerleading in HS b/c there was no gymnastics team and that was as close as I could get. My family could not longer afford gymnastics. There were some good things about cheering, but the dance moves were definitely immodest. I remember being surprised my parents weren't upset by them. I wish I had more parental guidance at that age.

[Dmmetler]

I do think this program sounds like a bad fit, unfortunately. I know you did your due diligence when you enrolled them... unfortunately, all it takes is one person to change the direction completely. I have heard good things about Upward cheer, but again, that only goes for a few years.

 

For what it's worth, I was a cheerleader in high school, and on dance team in college. I truly didn't feel like we did a bunch of inappropriate stuff... we had very "drill team" like routines and dances, and it was about performance and skill. Yes, it was also partly about being cute and perky, but I think most people thought of it in a more wholesome way back then. What I see on sidelines these days, however, looks very different from my day... I guess times have just changed that much. I didn't think I was *that* old, LOL!! :D

 

Young Champions cheer goes through age 18 or high school graduation, and it's pretty modest as well (as I described above). Unfortunately, not all teams have the level 3-4 (middle school and high school aged) squads for older girls, especially in areas where most of the kids who want to cheer can be accommodated on school teams. YCOA has an "Everyone plays" policy-there are no tryouts and no cuts for levels 1-4, which are grouped entirely by age. Girls who are younger can be placed on a higher level team if their coach thinks they are ready, and there are level 5-8 teams which are elite, try-out only teams that do harder skills and, if they score well at the state level, go on to national competitions, but everyone has a place on a team with kids within a couple of years of their age (the age groups are 4-6, 7-10, 11-13, and 14-17), doing age appropriate moves in a uniform that covers their bodies appropriately (full turtlenecked body suit under the skirt/vest, boy-shorts over that, and if it's cold, sweat pants, a warm up jacket, and a thermal headband that covers the ears over that). In my DD's program, a lot of the older girls help out with the younger ones, and for parades and the like every 4-6 (and some of the younger 7-10s) has a buddy in the 11-17 age group.

 

My DD was worried, when she read her handbook, that she'd have to stop cheering if she finished high school early. Her coach reassured her that as long as she was under 18 and enrolled in school, she's allowed to cheer if she wants to :).

 

It's not an option everywhere-"Nationals" only cover about half the states, and some of the states have few teams (MS, for example, has exactly 1-they compete with the TN teams so they have someone to compete against!)

 

YCOA is competitive cheer, not sideline, but it's truly been one of the best things for my DD as far as getting her to stretch herself out of her comfort zone. Her coaches have been absolutely wonderful and supportive of her.

[juelle]

I would never in a million years thought I'd be in a position to say this, but my dd14 is a varsity cheerleader at our public high school.

 

She loves ballet and modern dance, and her love of cheer has increased with the very rigorous training the school team does. Our town has a very serious football program, and the cheer program is run by a neighbour who is even more serious about cheer. The girls' uniforms cover their bellies; their skirts aren't super short and they ALWAYS have shorts under which provide good coverage. The moves haven't become particularly objectionable even now.

 

Cheer was not something I wanted her to be involved in. Dh wanted to give it a chance. And we have been very blessed, obviously. Dd is a girl transformed when she cheers: strong, confident, radiant, sharp and decisive. I would never have believed it, but it IS possible.

 

Upward may be a good possibility for your dds. Definitely talk with the coach. Dd spoke up once about lyrics and the song was pulled immediately. You never know what will happen when you stand confidently on your boundaries.

[besroma]

I would pull them out altogether. Cheerleading and modesty don't seem to go very well together. (Let me be clear, I completely agree with you!)

 

:iagree:

[redsquirrel]

I was a cheerleader all through high school. I promise we weren't sleezy. We were mostly dancers and gymnasts. There was no booty shaking going on. I don't think we would have known how to shake our booties. Just lots of jumping up and down and clapping and smiling. We wore skirts down to our knees, sweaters and saddle shoes.

 

I can't think of a single move or dance that I would hesitate to allow my own kids to do or see. Our routines were very athletic. If there had been any grinding etc I am sure we would have been in BIG trouble. I don't think we would have known what grinding was though.

[Ravin]

The changes clearly don't mesh with your cultural and religious standards. I suggest you address them with the head coach, and be prepared to withdraw them.

[Stayseeliz]

I didn't get a chance to talk to the coach until after practice tonight. I watched the practice closely and was pretty concerned about what I saw. They did 2-3 cheers with rolling of the hips and booty shaking. They also did a dance at the end. It started with the older girls facing away from the "crowd" and shaking left to right then bouncing down with their rear ends stuck out and touching the ground then turning around. There was more booty shaking in the dance, etc.

 

After practice I mentioned to the head coach that I was uncomfortable with some of the moves in the cheers and dances. She looked concerned and asked me which moves. I mentioned a couple and she called the new coach over. The head coach seemed really concerned about my issues and was trying to figure out how to fix it. The new coach pretty much said she could work on some of the moves but there were 40+ girls and I was the only one that had complained. She also said that the dance they had been doing had won a competition last year and they'd been doing those cheers forever. She also told me that her daughter didn't do gymnastics because she thought the outfits were too revealing and she knew my daughters did gymnastics. Ummmmmmmmmm. :001_huh:

 

The head coach is great but basically they can't change everything to suit me so I don't know. It was also VERY uncomfortable when I was talking to the new coach. She was a little miffed. I was VERY kind about what I said but I did say something.

 

I'm pretty sure at this point that I'm going to pull the girls out. I didn't want to make a "God doesn't like immodesty speech" tonight to the girls and tell them they're quitting. I wanted them to understand why and I think they really do.

 

To me I don't think cheer is a "passion". They take gymnastics and love that. This was just something to keep them busy while DS had football practice. DD8 does likes the physicality of cheering and they are getting ready to do stunting which she would love. And they love dressing up for games and have fun in front of the crowd. Bleh.

 

I just wish they would keep it clean but they really don't see the issue so I think we're done.

[Spy Car]

I am not ultra-conservative when it comes to issues of "modesty." So traditional cheerleading outfits and routines would not cause me to blink an eye. I'm pretty impressed by the athleticism these days.

 

But the "hip rolling" and "booty shaking" that I image being described here would be way beyond the pale were I the father of a girl (which I am not). I don't know how it is considered appropriate to promote what is (lets not kid ourselves) highly sexualized behavior. And we are talking about very young girls here—not that is that much better for adolescents.

 

In that situation I'd have a frank adult conversation with the responsible parties expressing my displeasure, anticipating it might well lead to an exit in our participation. Participation would cease under the prevailing conditions for sure.

 

Bill

[SonshineLearner]

Wow, hmmmm.... I think of myself as conservative :( My one daughter does cheer and the other does dance. I guess I think our view as a society here, is skewed :(

[Based on Faith Academy]

Update #35

 

We are conservative Christians. We are not dresses only but the girls don't wear short shorts, bikinis, etc. I've always strived to help them dress and live out modesty.

 

:iagree: I am exactly the same way! I understand your feelings. My daughter started gymnastics two weeks ago and I couldn't stand the leotards. We go to the YMCA and I make her wear shorts over her swim suit. I had to go searching all over for gymnastics shorts.

 

No advice just understanding. I know I would be upset if I was in your place.

Edited September 26, 2012 by christina NY

[airforcefamily]

I've experienced this from where your daughters are. My sister and I did cheerleading. It was modest. Yes, it's possible. We wore long sleeve not very tight sweaters and just about knee length skirts with shorts underneath. Then came cheer camp. My sister's squad danced to that "I'm too sexy" song that was really popular back then. I remember some move where some of the girls did handstands that made their skirts come up to reveal letters that spelled something on their backsides. Even as 9-ish year old (I can't remember the exact year) I can recall adults shifting around and looking uncomfortable. Our dad was livid. He had words with the people who were running the camp. It was so embarrassing.

 

In your shoes I would find another activity for them unless they're really set on it in which case I would find another squad. Having them stay in an activity that is only going to get more objectionable and having them stand to the side during certain moves is setting them up to be outsiders.

[airforcefamily]

:iagree: I am exactly the same way! I understand your feelings. My daughter started gymnastics two weeks ago and I couldn't stand the leotard my ex bought her. We go to the YMCA and I make her wear shorts over her swim suit. I had to go searching all over for gymnastics shorts.

 

No advice just understanding. I know I would be upset if I was in your place.

 

I don't know why but I think sports like gymnastics and ballet are different. The moves are athletic and/or beautiful, not sexy.

[Unicorn.]

The cheerleaders at our local high school don't do moves like that. I'd pull my kids, too. I'd also tell the coach I don't give a rat's behind what won a competition, that my girls were there to cheer for the team, not to learn how to attract perverts. Ugh! I'm sorry for your girls.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Hmmm I guess the guys aren't "creepy" in that I know something to be wrong with them but there are a lot of guys that look iffy. I watch my kids like a hawk at the games because anyone could pay $2 and get in and have access to lots of kids. It makes me nervous.

 

"Have access to a lot of kids."

Really? In a large crowd with their parents present?

[Based on Faith Academy]

I don't know why but I think sports like gymnastics and ballet are different. The moves are athletic and/or beautiful, not sexy.

 

 

Oh they are athletic.. They are not sexy but the leotards look like a swim suits worn in front of boys for the stretch part of her class. The exercises and stretches they do can be revealing. I am uncomfortable with it for the simple fact I have to work when my daughter is at gymnastics and they don't allow parents in the room where they do the gymnastics. It is an open room so that is a consolation but my ex has to make "trips" to the car just so he can check on her. It seems most gymnastics are like this because they don't want the children to be distracted and hurt themselves which is understandable. My thing is that there are too many people you can't trust your kids with these days and I want to know she is with someone who we can trust. I question her every time she comes home plus she knows she can't leave the main room that everyone who walks in can see.

[Heather in Neverland]

I coached competitive all-star cheerleading for 10 years. If you want to compete and if you want any chance of winning then you have to be willing to do what everyone else is doing and then top it.

 

That means shorter skirts, bare midriffs, some uniforms are even going "one-shouldered", etc.

 

Competitive means not just the athletic ability but the "attitude"... the glittery make-up, the pouty faces, winking, blowing kisses at the crowd, flirty faces with the judges... it is all not only happening but expected at this level.

 

Suggestive dance moves are the norm, not the exception. Watch a high school cheer competition on ESPN and you will see what I mean.

 

Now, does this mean ALL teams do this? No. But let's face it. They want to emulate the winners, the champions. So it creeps in to even the most local, small-town cheer team. It's the same reason they want to dress like pop stars .

 

Between all of the above...plus having to tell a young teen girl she had to lose weight... plus countless severe injuries (as the stunts and tumbling gets more and more risky in order to stay competitive)... I got out. And it is NOT something I will let my daughter do either.

 

 

.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I don't know why but I think sports like gymnastics and ballet are different. The moves are athletic and/or beautiful, not sexy.

 

I agree. The moves demonstrate the strength and range of the human body.

[GWOB]

My oldest dd was in cheerleading for exactly one season. I do not consider myself a conservative Christian or a prude, but a few months was enough for me. I am totally against the trend of over-sexualizing our little girls. Seriously, do little girls need to be imitating sexual moves? Now, I do consider Cheerleading to be a sport. Those ladies are powerful! But really, do 4yos-14-yos needs to be imitating sexual acts? NO!!! When my dd was in cheerleading, she was 5. She was supposed to be out there saying stupid things and shaking her pom-poms, not her a$$. She was 5!!! Thank God this kid never wanted to continue with Cheerleading. Though I was by far the youngest parent there, I found it disgusting that these 45yo women with 5yo dds just wanted to live vicariously through their young dds. They wanted to relive their high school days where everyone thought they were cute and sexy.BARF! We are talking 5yos here!

 

Basically, I think you should probably shift your dds into pure gymnastics, unless you can find a less skanky Cheerleading program.

[swellmomma]

I think the new coach as a valid point. If you are concerned about the modesty issue than don't let your girls cheer. Plain and simple, why should they change all their routines to suit 1 family. DD was in cheer, an allstar team not a school team so we were able to shop around so to speak and find a team that I felt comfortable with (modestly cut uniforms, no booty shaking etc- she was 10 and didn't need all that). If I felt a team was not a match she didn't go for that team. Period. You don't get to dictate to the coaches how to choreograph their routines etc. With cheer like gymnastics or dance, you take it or leave it.

[happi duck]

I think the new coach as a valid point. If you are concerned about the modesty issue than don't let your girls cheer. Plain and simple, why should they change all their routines to suit 1 family. DD was in cheer, an allstar team not a school team so we were able to shop around so to speak and find a team that I felt comfortable with (modestly cut uniforms, no booty shaking etc- she was 10 and didn't need all that). If I felt a team was not a match she didn't go for that team. Period. You don't get to dictate to the coaches how to choreograph their routines etc. With cheer like gymnastics or dance, you take it or leave it.

 

I think the issue is that the op did ask and was comfortable but then the squad changed a week or two in.

[swellmomma]

I think the issue is that the op did ask and was comfortable but then the squad changed a week or two in.

 

I don't think the squad changed, I think she was told what she wanted to hear to get the girls to register, or the person that told her it was a modest team actually meant it was modest compared to other teams. If the booty dance routine won last year this is not a new change. Perhaps this new coach brings more of that element into the routines, but the fact is as the coach that is her decision, and she is not going to re-choreograph all the girls because the mom of 2 doesn't like the routine. It just doesn't work that way. If you don't like the style you leave the team and find something more to your liking.

[MollyAnn]

I'm not a Christian and I don't consider myself to be too overly concerned with modesty, but I don't think this is really a case of wanting your girls to be modest. It's a case of not wanting your girls to be sexualized!

There is no reason a 4yo and an 8yo need to shake their butts and roll their hips in front of an audience. The fact that out of 40 girls you were the only parent to have concerns is disturbing in its own right.

I have caught some of the cheer competitions while channel surfing and in some of those routines there might as well have been poles on the stage. For the girls anyway; I noticed the boys on the squads weren't doing the same moves.

I fully recognize that cheerleading is a sport. A lot of hard work goes into it. However, it's not right that girl has to demean herself to be considered good.