elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 If you have physically close neighbors (houses less than 15ft apart) and you like to entertain outdoors, what time do you take it indoors? I'm not talking noise ordinance breaking parties, but 5- 10 people talking on their deck. These are usually on the weekend. Their voices carry well to the neighbors home and there is the occasional alcohol induced cackle. These parties are not often, maybe one every two months, but last until about 3 a.m. outdoors. We've never had close neighbors and we're not a resort town, so there is no perceived party atmosphere. I would never say anything because they're not doing anything wrong, except being a little inconsiderate. I already think they don't like us, or they just see us as the "old people" which seems funny because we're mid 40s and early 50s. So is there informal etiquette in these situations? What time would you consider moving your party inside? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Other. The mosquitoes are so ferocious here that everyone would take the guests inside as soon as it was dusk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 10pm? Wow, I don't think they got started until then. Granted, it's been so hot no one wants to go outside during the day. Mosquitoes aren't out because it's been too dry. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 If it's just people laughing and talking once every couple months, I'd be fine with it at all hours. If it was every weekend, I might be more irritated. Things can just be soo much worse than that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 If it's just people laughing and talking once every couple months, I'd be fine with it at all hours. If it was every weekend, I might be more irritated. Things can just be soo much worse than that... Oh I know. I also have. Insomnia and many of their get togethers happen on that one night I am finally sleeping and they wake me up, like tonight. I am going to turn the ac down a little. I cannot hear them over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Personally I'd hope you were indoors by 10pm or earlier. We keep early hours here and I don't want my kids kept awake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomandlorih Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would go in at a reasonable hour, but living in lots of different areas, this is pretty tame and it wouldn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I voted 11, but it would really depend. There is a party venue on a street behind us. It is really loud sometimes, and we've had conversations with the police about it. (It seems like it's run as a commercial establishment though it's in a regular residential neighborhood.) They said the noise ordinance gives them till 11pm to make as much noise as they want. But if it's just conversation, and happening only a few times a year, I don't think I would say or do anything. We probably make noises that bother the neighbors at other times - dog barking at squirrels, families with little kids screeching in the yard sometimes, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I grew up spending summers in a campground, so I think my perspective is skewed. Trailers 10-20ft apart don't buffer much noise. People would stay out til all hours, but "quiet hours" began at 11, so they'd at least make an effort to keep it down at that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa3033 Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Before we bought our current house we lived in a duplex with a shared yard. On the other side was a young childless couple who entertained a lot. They sat out on their patio until all ours of the night when they entertained. I don't know that they ever brought the party inside. It never bothered me, it's a part of living in close quarters plus we shared a wall so I'm sure they heard my screaming children. Sorry but I think it's par for the course when living in houses close together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 With the heat we have been having I would say midnight. Going out before 9 or 10 is awful. I sat outside in our pool from 10-12 one night amd it was beautiful. I was alone and quiet most of the time, but if we had company, they could have sat with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) On the weekends it doesn't bother me. It is so hot out, I can understand wanting to sit outside at night. Even loud music doesn't always bother us as long as the base isn't excessive. If I had company we would probably bring it in around 10 but it wouldn't bother me if others did not until later. If there is excessive base or a drunk guy in your yard yelling, "WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "WWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I am calling the cops. In our old house we had these motorcycle neighbors that would throw wild parties and play classic rock, loudly. That didn't phase us. We had other neighbors that would throw parties but there was always some chucklehead that would stand there and yell. If you are just going to holler for no danged reason that is the very end of my tolerance. We would go over and speak to them before calling anyone but just yelling in the yard, in the city completely blew my mind. Who does that? On the weeknights I would like that all to be taken inside by nine. Edited August 4, 2012 by Sis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 In our old city, you were technically breaking the noise ordinance if someone could hear you from inside their home, period. It didn't matter what time it was. I can't tell you how to handle it though. Our neighbor was a drummer in a band. We tried talking with him, he said he would try to keep it down, but our houses were incredibly close. It was just mpossible. We ended up moving, partly because of this, last summer. I saw yesterday on FB that he is quitting the band and selling his drums. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 We had the exact same situation after DS1 was first born, so I was a very light sleeper. DH went over and rang their doorbell at 2am and asked if they could please be a little quieter. He said some drunk woman who heard the conversation yelled "what's wrong with him? He's OUR age!" But the neighbors themselves were polite about it and moved things inside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 They stopped about 3 a.m. I feel like a zombie and will need a long nap. In the scheme of life it's not the big of a deal. I won't mention it to dh, he could sleep through a stampede, because he would say something. I just wondered what common courtesy was in these close situations. And I'm too tired to consider my passive-aggressive approach of going out to run the leaf blower right now (8 a.m.) :tongue_smilie::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree:honestly, w/young kids trying to sleep, and having to have the windows open for a breeze, I'm thinking 10pm at the latest. Of course, we've had the landlord's son out on the lawn tractor, STARTING at 9pm :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I voted other because I think 10 pm is the appropriate time to quiet down. And if it was me and my party (which it would not be but that's another story!), I would take it inside by 8 or 9. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 If it is as infrequent as once every couple of months, I think I wouldn't be bothered by it until around midnight or so. I've lived in some places with VERY inconsiderate neighbors, so I think my tolerance has built up some over the years. Now, if it was going on every weekend night, I might be a bit more perturbed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Personally I'd hope you were indoors by 10pm or earlier. We keep early hours here and I don't want my kids kept awake. :iagree: I voted other.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Voted other because it depends on the party. Loud music/voices - 11 pm (or earlier!). Adults sitting around a fire pit quietly chatting - whenever. I know that I might still hear the soft voices if my windows are open, but in the warm summer evenings I can understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 Yeah, I guess I would tolerate until about 1, but I'm pretty intolerant when you wake me up in the middle of the night. Our windows aren't open and I can hear them, but they're not loud, they're just close. After 1 the soft voices get a bit pronounced, probably in line with alcohol consumption. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thia Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Probably by 10, I'd move things indoors. As for leaf blowing at 8? That's acceptable. 7 is not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsfamily Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would go in at a reasonable time...say 11pm. I wouldn't be upset at my neighbors for having extended parties every couple of months as long as it is on the weekend. We live next to a rental and one of the tenants would have loud parties until 3am on random weekdays at least twice a week. I was pg with my 3rd at the time and almost blew a gasket. Once woken, I couldn't go back to sleep! They would play guitar hero right outside my bedroom window.:glare: If it had just been loud talking, I wouldn't have been so annoyed. Thankfully, they moved out and we've had great neighbors ever since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 I voted other, as 10 pm is the accepted time around here. Guests generally depart then, so the car door slamming is done for the night. I did mention to one set that I can hear every word, but it didn't sink in until I made a few polite comments about their business that I only knew from the tremendous amt of talking that I can hear inside my house (windows closed, a/c on). The previoius occupants were not that loud, and used music to control their loudness...they'd play music on low and keep the voices under, to the point that if I was sitting out in the yard, I couldn't follow the conversation if I wanted to ...so it can be done. Beyond that, the men around here start garage and yard work at 6 -7 a.m. on weekends, and that does not phase the drinking/drugging/etc crowd. I suspect since they just went to bed that they sleep right thru it. I can hear every word from next door right now..their pool party guests have arrived. I'll be taking my ice tea to the room farthest away as I've got a few things to get done. fortunately basketball ball boy grew up and moved, so I won't hear that for hours (I'm happy to hear teens play for an hour or two..but five hours of dribble, dribble, shoot was the norm for that kid and that meant no afternoon naps for the baby & toddler kids nearby as he was louder than the a/c too). :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 If it's just people laughing and talking once every couple months, I'd be fine with it at all hours. If it was every weekend, I might be more irritated. Things can just be soo much worse than that... I sort of agree with this and sort of don't. If you can't just turn on a sound machine, drown them out and go to sleep, well, I think it's rude. We live in apartments (almost out!) and we go out of our way to keep our voices down whether it's early morning or late at night. And, by "late" I mean 10 p.m. My vote is that they're being really inconsiderate. If you can drown them out, great. But I'd say they're out of line. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it inside by 9pm. I would never want to keep my neighbors up. I would completely understand if someone had a late party, say on 4th of July, or maybe once or twice during the summer. BUT, we have neighbors who do it many weekends in the summer. Sometimes it will be Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, and even some nights during the week. They blare very loud music, the base shakes my house until 2 or 3 am. Talking, or swimming in a pool would bother me less than blaring base-heavy music. None of my other neighbors ever do this. This is why I blast the a/c at night in the summer, just to drown them out ;)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Well I think it's kind of rude they haven't invited you to attend! Any party that is going after 10 p.m. should include the neighbors by default. I often only go over if I wake up and everyone else in my place is asleep. I find that I have no resentment about being woken up if I'm allowed to participate. I can choose to or not, but having an option to join in certainly makes me feel better. ;) I hope you get a nap!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: i get upset when my dogs bark when we let them out to go to the bathroom before bed. It is always before 10:00 unless dh, for some unusual reason, stays up later. Still, the closest neighbor to us is nowhere near our house. Since you don't want to say anything and it doesn't happen often, maybe run a fan or white noise on those odd nights? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Depends upon where you live. In the midwest it would have been by midnight at the latest. Here, it can go on all night and none of us complain. We're glad our neighbours are happy and enjoying themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 Well I think it's kind of rude they haven't invited you to attend! Any party that is going after 10 p.m. should include the neighbors by default. I often only go over if I wake up and everyone else in my place is asleep. I find that I have no resentment about being woken up if I'm allowed to participate. I can choose to or not, but having an option to join in certainly makes me feel better. ;) I hope you get a nap!:grouphug: :lol::lol::lol: When it first happened I remembered that scene in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy about the scientists being miffed about the party upstairs simply because they didn't get invited to those sort of parties. So I have had to deal with the fact we weren't invited. I had thought we'd hit it off as neighbors, but I think they feel we're old and odd. They know we homeschool and I wonder if they have some preconceived ideas about that. We've never moved passed the chatting phase, but they're rarely home it seems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I said 11 but I prefer 10pm. To me, that is when the majority of people are settleing in for the night, going to bed or just wanting some quiet. I am a night owl, but I still don't hang out outside after 10 to be considerate to the neighbors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 We live in a city rowhouse so we have this situation often. I voted midnight... though really, around here it's not uncommon for it to be until later, though most people do take it inside by 12:30 or 1. And I wouldn't have a problem with the lack of invite. I think some of this is cultural. You are definitely not expected to take the noise inside in my neighborhood by 10pm. In the middle of summer, it's not uncommon to see families hanging out on stoops at that hour still. But other neighborhoods may be different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Happens here. I've learned that it's just a part of living close to each other. They've had to endure kids here, an parties where guests became quite drunk and loud (though during daylight hours). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I won't mention it to dh, he could sleep through a stampede, because he would say something. Why would that be a bad thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 Why would that be a bad thing? Because that would ruin any chance I have of ever getting invited to their parties. :tongue_smilie: No, really, because he has a way with words when he wants to, but he'd only make me sound like the bad guy. I can see him saying You're waking my wife up with your noise and then it just all goes downhill from there. So what started as a minor annoyance every few months becomes my neighbors hate me. Yes, I over think everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa3033 Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) Yeah, I guess I would tolerate until about 1, but I'm pretty intolerant when you wake me up in the middle of the night. Our windows aren't open and I can hear them, but they're not loud, they're just close. After 1 the soft voices get a bit pronounced, probably in line with alcohol consumption. :lol: I think this is just par for the course then with your living situation. I wouldn't expect to live so close to somebody where I could hear soft voices from inside my house with windows closed and expect to not get woken up:confused: Now if they were playing loud music, banging on drums or something of that sort, then 10 pm is as late as my patience would last. But hanging out on a patio? I don't see an issue. Of course that means you're also welcome to send the kids out at 7 am to play when they're on your last nerve as long as they aren't yelling. Edited August 4, 2012 by Lisa3033 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Oh, you'd LOVE my neighbors. :glare: I got home from work late one night (2am) and they were in the driveway, working on a car, blaring some some with the delightful chorus of "I want to f*** the s*** out of you". Lovely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 This makes me happy to live in the country, I cannot see my neighbors or hear them. The noise would drive me bonkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I would take it indoors somewhere between 9 or 10pm. No later than 10 though. We could continue chatting in the house and not disturb anyone who is trying to sleep. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Before we bought our current house we lived in a duplex with a shared yard. On the other side was a young childless couple who entertained a lot. They sat out on their patio until all ours of the night when they entertained. I don't know that they ever brought the party inside. It never bothered me, it's a part of living in close quarters plus we shared a wall so I'm sure they heard my screaming children. Sorry but I think it's par for the course when living in houses close together. :iagree: If they aren't playing loud music, I don't see a problem. In this country, homes are very close together, and there is the occasional loud party with live band until 3+ in the morning on a Saturday. It doesn't happen every weekend, so no biggy. Dh has five brothers and sisters who come over at least once a month. We stand outside and talk fairly late with no issue. I have never had a complaint from any one living on our street. I have noticed people are a bit more sensitive about this stateside. Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) Definitely between 9-10. But I am super conscious of the noise we put out, so I tend to expect the same courtesy. Part of the reason we moved was because the neighbor's noise...they'd run their truck for half an hour or more six feet from our living room and rattle the walls with their lifted trucks. It was awful. Some days I just sat and cried. Edited August 4, 2012 by Georgiana D fat thumbs while typing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 Yeah, I'm actually surprised I can hear them so well. Our windows are newer, I think the walls are poorly insulated and that is moving the sound more than the windows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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