LibraryLover Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Although it's not. Thanks for the feedback!! Edited June 25, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 1. Yes, of course. Sorry about the quote. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, emphatically! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I don't find it hard to believe because I was that mom. I wouldn't even let their dad do anything I was so picky. I am still terribly particular on how and who does things in my home. I have lightened up a bit over the years to take some stress off but there are things my children will never do in this house and there are things I do not feel are appropriate for a child to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Well, you apparently haven't met my MIL. Her kids never had to do anything. Which is why I live with a dh who does absolutely nothing unless I ask/nag him to do it. So, there are mothers of multiple children who do not require certain tasks of their children, but I'd bet they are few and far between. You are right in thinking that the a teen child should help out, and not think it's weird that your children do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessa516 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 #1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, I ask my children to do things during the day. I am not consistent about it. Some days it is just easier to do it myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 #1 of course! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Of course. We are a team. If I were to write a dictionary definition of family it would read: Family, n. Team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomToJazmyne Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 1. Yes, of course. ....and I only have one child Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, absolutely. My oldest is only 8 and I ask him to help with a wide variety of things, and because he (and my other DC) know that they are valuable to running our household, they usually help eagerly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My family (parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles) not only expected children to help, they expected us to know what needed to be done and do it with little to no asking or direction. (Such as knowing that a full laundry basket meant put a load in the washer and come back an hour later and put it into the dryer.) My husband's family? :lol: My MIL didn't want to be bothered with teaching children how to do anything. She would push aside her children if they tried to do anything, as she "just knew they would make a mess of it." Course, when I married DH, my MIL was making a complete separate meal for my teenage SIL and taking it to her room, so she didn't have to be bothered by eating with the rest of the family. An hour later, MIL would go up to SIL's room to retrieve the dirty dishes. Yes, SIL wasn't even expected to carry her own dirty dishes to the kitchen. :001_huh: SIL lived at home until well into her 30's because life was so easy... MIL then raised SIL's first child and cut her food for her until she was old enough to drive a car. And... MIL still does her 50-year-old bachelor son's dirty laundry. My DH went away to college and - thankfully!!! - learned how to keep a home before we got married. :D DH hated the way his mother was around the house and is now the polar opposite with our child. It drives my MIL up the wall that we "allow" our son to use a knife to cut his food, wash dishes, mow the lawn, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 1. Yes, of course I do. I will go even farther and tell you I will send one of the boys to fetch the vacuum while the other one finishes up picking stuff up off the floor (which they would both be working on until that point), and then he vacuums. And my 11 yo takes laundry off the line. They all sweep, vacuum, empty the dishwasher, feed/water the dog, stack/bring in firewood, help wash the cars, weed, rake, make/change beds, gather and sort laundry, clean the toilets (they fight over who "gets" to do that)... The only reason they don't load the dishwasher, or put in laundry, hang it or fold it is because I'm somethig of a control freak in these areas. I've never considered asking them to do tasks around the house cruel or unusual. I don't think they think it is, either, though they may gripe about any of the above if they have something else to do in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, we work together. I agree with Jean; we are a team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 1. Yes, of course. All of my children help out when asked, which is often. They mostly do it willingly because, like you, I am busy with something else that needs my attention. My eldest dd's friend's boyfriend, though, once told me he couldn't believe she had to do chores. None of the rest of their group had chores to do at home. I think my face looked like this ---> :001_huh: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 #1 Heck, I'll ask even when I am just doing nothing. Darling, fetch Farrar that bonbon. There's a good dear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 #1 . My only is expected to contribute and does although I admit that I could request even more help than I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) #1 Heck, I'll ask even when I am just doing nothing. Darling, fetch Farrar that bonbon. There's a good dear. :lol: It will be all over the day I ask my children to bring me wine. Oh wait, the 23 yr old has made me gin and tonic when he is home . He picks out the best olives. ;) I seriously cannot believe some parents don't ask their kids to fetch this or that, dust, or vac the glitter off the floor. Edited June 25, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 :w00t: #1 Yes, I ask my kids do stuff, and they have responsibilities and jobs in the house that are theirs. They make their own beds, carry down their laundry to go in the washer. I will ask them to carry baskets of clean laundry upstairs (I fold and put away - I like things folded a certain way). I will ask dd13 to make lunch for all three of them (tuna, chicken nuggets, PB&J). Most mornings one of them will unload the dishwasher - I will ask another to load it. The overwhelming understanding here is that if you take it out, you put it back. If you opened it, close it. If you turned it on, turn it off. If you dirtied it, clean it. DS likes to clean the toilets with the clorox wand (i have no idea why) - we have 7 bathrooms -- i appreciate that he likes to do this. He also loves to vacuum - I appreciate that as well. I am busy from the minute i put my feet on the floor in the a.m., I am driving to practices and meets for hours every day. I keep the house spotless, I cook dinner pretty much every night, I volunteer for Swim Team events and Dive Team events, I educate the kids, and manage their social lives -- the kids and i have a great time together at the pool, just sitting together, cooking, - I am so conscious that I am an older mom and parenting my three is such a gift and a blessing. My kids probably do less in the house than I did as a kid -- I think that what I ask of them is entirely reasonable and to be expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Well, you apparently haven't met my MIL. Her kids never had to do anything. Which is why I live with a dh who does absolutely nothing unless I ask/nag him to do it. So, there are mothers of multiple children who do not require certain tasks of their children, but I'd bet they are few and far between. You are right in thinking that the a teen child should help out, and not think it's weird that your children do. Not in my experience. I can't tell you how many parents (moms and dads) express shock when the boys carry their own gear (sticks, pads, helmets) off the practice field, while I'm carrying my bag, chair, etc. I get the incredulous "they DO that??" fairly often. Sometimes from a parent carrying all the gear, plus two kids' backpacks, a chair and a diaper bag while the two olders circles around him (literally) and the younger keeps stopping dead because she wants to be picked up. And I'm like :001_huh: because, dude, your kid just ran up and down a field for two hours, wearing/carrying some of that very stuff, and is STILL running. I'm sure he could probably carry it to the car. And I know these are the same parents who ask nothing of their children in the house because they complain about being up til all hours, cleaning up the debris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My answer is... yes, of course. ;) This weekend the friend that is staying with us? Oh yeah, I got more than I bargained for with him. ;) It's been...interesting. I may take a tiger mom stance and say no sleepovers from now on. :D :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My kids, ages 9 and 12, do nearly all of the vacuuming in our house and nearly all of the mopping. In addition, they are responsible for cleaning their own bathroom and bedrooms. They help with other tasks as needed -- sweeping outdoors, mulching, pulling weeds, etc. They do not generally help with laundry (other than for taking the stuff out of the drier so I don't have to bend) nor do they do the dishes -- I value my dishes too much! Kids need to help out and contribute to the family. I do believe that to be the most help to a family, it's best to find age-appropriate tasks that they can do well. It's only been the past year or so that my kids have been useful contributors. I didn't have them do chores when I had to micromanage them and/or redo. It just wasn't worth it to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Double post! Edited June 25, 2012 by BLA5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rjmakmom Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Of course! And not only do my kids have chores, but they do those chores to earn screen time. No chores=no tv/computer/dvds/anything with a screen. Now who's the slave driver? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, of course. But I do have a friend (who also happens to be a homeschool mom) who does not. I was floored when she told me that neither her 20 year old nor 12 year old sons knew how to run the washing machine or dishwasher. She said she only asks them to mow the lawn once in a while and to take out the garbage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 #1 Heck, I'll ask even when I am just doing nothing. Darling, fetch Farrar that bonbon. There's a good dear. :D This is two fold for me: First, I see training in maintaining your living space as part of my responsibility to my children. Secondly, I believe that we all live here, we are all a part of this family, and we all should have a part in keeping this family going. Like Jean and others said, we are a team and that means sometimes putting the good of the unit above your personal preference. (That means that sometimes I smile and nod when DS9's loading of the dishes is not *exactly* the way I would handle it, etc.) :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Those are exactly the kinds of things I ask my son to do. For instance, just a bit ago, I was putting the baby in the bath and asked him to pick up the living room floor and turn the Roomba on. Earlier I had asked him to clean Roomba (brushes and such). He takes out the trash when asked, watches his sister, clears the table, etc. I don't have him put away dishes often, just because I know where they go better than anyone else and I'm anal about it :) but helping with everything else, sure. Mopping with the swiffer or steam mop, picking up the bathroom, cleaning the toilet, etc. etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) DS likes to clean the toilets with the clorox wand (i have no idea why) - we have 7 bathrooms :drool5::svengo: But I do have a friend (who also happens to be a homeschool mom) who does not. I was floored when she told me that neither her 20 year old nor 12 year old sons knew how to run the washing machine or dishwasher. I'm astonished with how many of my friend's dc (teens, even!) do not know how to run a load of laundry or load a dishwasher. Edited June 25, 2012 by LuvnMySvn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, of course. Yesterday, I was in a Wendy's. There was a good sized group of at least two families. Two preteen or young teen boys were sitting at a table by themselves eating, while the rest of the group sat at another large table. When the group left, I noticed the boys get up and walk away, leaving all of their trash on the table. The mom, who sat at a completely different table 10 feet away, stood there and cleaned up all their trash for them. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissy Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I do but my sister in law does not..she is picky about the way things are done and does not let her dh help either. She has also told me she wants her kids to be kids..I had to do chores as a child so I don't see anything wrong with it. When I was 12 I was cleaning our whole house sometimes alone all chores because I lived with only a dad and he just wasn't able to do it for one reason or another. When I moved out I knew how to take care of myself. I want my kids to be prepared to take care of themselves it doesn't mean they have to do it all like I did but they can help me so they can learn. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I work full time and my husband does, too. Everybody works here. 18 year old and 16 year old work and go to college and clean their own space here. Oldest is just home for the summer. 12 year old is home schooling all summer and works around the house. We clean our two offices, the pool and our house. Everyone has their own bedroom and their own bathroom and they clean their own! We switch out who cleans the kitchen every night. I do laundry every day but everyone knows how and helps with it. Our house is not exactly clean but it isn't dirty either. I could not do this on my own! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, of course! The girls actually don't have set, regular chores, but they get done as needed, so I'm often asking them to do such and such. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 My kids don't have "chores" per se. They pile up their laundry and I tell them to take it down to laundry room. If cats are running out of food my son will automatically fill it. If I ask them to do something they will 9 times out of 10 do it without complaining. I do not ask them to help with bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davysmom Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes of course all the time! But I have friends (2 of them) who believe that they the moms should do everything for their children. One of them said to me that she believed kids should be allowed to be kids and not have to worry about any responsibilities at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hypatia. Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, frequently! My kids have a few regular chores that they do daily, the rest just come up as needed and I ask them to help. My mom did everything herself growing up (other than occasionally telling me to clean my room, but I really had no idea where to start) and as a result I never learned basic cleaning and housekeeping skills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 #1 in my house I get my kids to help because they are members of the family, as others have pointed out, and I want them to see that community means participating in work and play. I also see it as part of their education. My mom got me to do stuff growing up, but there were certain things she never let me do for some reason. So when I went to college, I could scrub a toilet, but I couldn't cook or iron or do laundry or sew a button on. I don't want my kids to have gaps like that to deal with when they are out on their own. They need those skills every bit as much as the academic ones I spend so much time imparting to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 ........ When I was 12 I was cleaning our whole house sometimes alone all chores because I lived with only a dad and he just wasn't able to do it for one reason or another.......... Me too! And it was a big house. And when I was finished cleaning, I did all the ironing. It didn't hurt me at all. Oh, and my mom was a SAHM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Not in my experience. I can't tell you how many parents (moms and dads) express shock when the boys carry their own gear (sticks, pads, helmets) off the practice field, while I'm carrying my bag, chair, etc. I get the incredulous "they DO that??" fairly often. Sometimes from a parent carrying all the gear, plus two kids' backpacks, a chair and a diaper bag while the two olders circles around him (literally) and the younger keeps stopping dead because she wants to be picked up. And I'm like :001_huh: because, dude, your kid just ran up and down a field for two hours, wearing/carrying some of that very stuff, and is STILL running. I'm sure he could probably carry it to the car. And I know these are the same parents who ask nothing of their children in the house because they complain about being up til all hours, cleaning up the debris. Amazing! That reminds me of a Baby Blues comic...the kids (carrying nothing) are jumping around on the sidewalk singing, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back", and the mom is staggering behind carrying ALL the gear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, I ask my children to do things during the day. I am not consistent about it. Some days it is just easier to do it myself. :iagree: This is what happens here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes of course I do, and my oldest is only 4. Not that she always does it, or (ever) does a good job, but she's 4, we're working on it... Even the 18mo's get asked sometimes, though whether they understand what I ask is about 50/50... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Me too! And it was a big house. And when I was finished cleaning, I did all the ironing. It didn't hurt me at all. Oh, and my mom was a SAHM. Me three. I did the majority of the grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning beginning around age 11. My wonderful mother was working and in grad school and single. I think it was good for me, honestly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joani Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes. All the time. I was a single parent for a long time and my kids have never had "chores", they just help out with what needs to be done. My oldest is really good about doing things without being asked, but I definitely ask them all to do things throughout the day. My Dh has always done the same thing with his kids, so they don't bat an eye when I ask them to unload the dishwasher or put away laundry. Dss 9 is getting really good at folding towels while watching TV. I do know a few mothers (my sister's one of them) who never ask their kids to do anything and think I give my kids too much responsibility. When they get to college, our kids will be the ones teaching their kids how to do laundry and cook something other than KD. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Michelle* Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Absolutely and our oldest is not quite 5. We all pull together; that's part of being a family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, definitely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 yep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes. My kids are used to me a) asking them to do odd jobs to help out and b) me saying "I was just asking to be polite, what I mean is just do xyz" Occasionally they will say they don't want to do as I ask, and I usually say things like "well I don't really want to cook your dinner, or wash your smelling socks etc but I do because we work together in a family" And of all teh kids I count on dd12 the most. She is my most helpful child, so often I find myself calling her over to help me out with something. When she was gone last week I was lost, she will be gone for the entire month of July and I am not really sure what I am going to do. The boys help when asked but I can't trust them with certain tasks like I can with her (for example she knows my debit pin number and can run to the grocery store for me, or walk the dogs without getting sidetracked and playing at the park etc). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, if I don't teach them, who will? Today dd (14) had to scrub the tub twice...supposedly it was done yesterday. I have taught her how to do it properly (when younger) yet she chose to do a rush job twice...thus she had to do it with me the third time watching and instructing again while she tried to state that she 'knew' how to clean a tub. My response was that I was pretty sure she didn't know how to properly since it was her third time doing so in less than 24 hours...not much she could say about that. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma_Bear Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Definitely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 #1 Heck, I'll ask even when I am just doing nothing. Darling, fetch Farrar that bonbon. There's a good dear. Amen. There are plenty of times that I am working and they are not. What is the difference? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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