DianeW88 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Or a stodgy old lady clinging to etiquette from days of yore? :lol: I'm perfectly willing to accept that I am, if that's the case. Here's the situation. Some of you may remember my BIL (dh's brother) and his new wife who have a dog baby (teacup yorkie) in lieu of a child. Dog Baby goes everywhere and does everything with Mommy and Daddy. Last year they stayed away from our Memorial Day get together because we would not lock up our cats so that Dog Baby could visit (Anyone ever tried to lock cats in a room? They shred the carpets trying to dig themselves out.). Anyhow, this summer they said they would just hold Dog Baby on their laps the entire time they were here. Fine. Whatever. So, the weather on Memorial Day weekend is the usual cold, rainy nasty mix Utah offers up each year. The meal takes place in our home instead of outside. Dog Baby sits at my dining table with Mommy and Daddy, eating off their plates and licking up morsels from said table. BIL feeds Dog Baby from his hands, then proceeds to touch the other serving utensils, etc. on the table. Is this acceptable to have your DOG eat at the table when you are at someone else's home. I have a feeling Miss Manners is loudly screaming, "no" in the background, but a couple of other ladies with whom I am acquainted have assured me that if their dog child was met with disdain when they were at another's home, that person would be "dead to them." :001_huh: What say the Hive? Rude to have your dog sit on your lap at someone else's dinner table or perfectly acceptable and I'm rude if I request that Dog Baby remain (*gasp*) on the floor? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 wow. I am a dog lover. I am a veterinary technician, a dog trainer, and let my dog sleep in the bed with me. I would NEVER let my dog eat at the table, let alone at someone else's house. ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 That makes me gag just thinking about the dog at the table. Gross. :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Or a stodgy old lady clinging to etiquette from days of yore? :lol: I'm perfectly willing to accept that I am, if that's the case. Here's the situation. Some of you may remember my BIL (dh's brother) and his new wife who have a dog baby (teacup yorkie) in lieu of a child. Dog Baby goes everywhere and does everything with Mommy and Daddy. Last year they stayed away from our Memorial Day get together because we would not lock up our cats so that Dog Baby could visit (Anyone ever tried to lock cats in a room? They shred the carpets trying to dig themselves out.). Anyhow, this summer they said they would just hold Dog Baby on their laps the entire time they were here. Fine. Whatever. So, the weather on Memorial Day weekend is the usual cold, rainy nasty mix Utah offers up each year. The meal takes place in our home instead of outside. Dog Baby sits at my dining table with Mommy and Daddy, eating off their plates and licking up morsels from said table. BIL feeds Dog Baby from his hands, then proceeds to touch the other serving utensils, etc. on the table. Is this acceptable to have your DOG eat at the table when you are at someone else's home. I have a feeling Miss Manners is loudly screaming, "no" in the background, but a couple of other ladies with whom I am acquainted have assured me that if their dog child was met with disdain when they were at another's home, that person would be "dead to them." :001_huh: What say the Hive? Rude to have your dog sit on your lap at someone else's dinner table or perfectly acceptable and I'm rude if I request that Dog Baby remain (*gasp*) on the floor? :lol: :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I wouldn't want someone to touch serving utensils after their "Baby Baby," as in a human child, had been licking their fingers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 It sounds like you were being extremely polite in not saying anything, but I would have spoken up in my own home. This is pretty silly behaviour for two grown adults to do in someone else's home. A gentle reminder that dogs don't eat at the table in this house would probably have ended it, though they might not come back again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I would send them a parasite test kit. And no, that is not acceptable at all. And I love dogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 That makes me gag just thinking about the dog at the table. Gross. :ack2: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 That's disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 You are normal. They however, need their heads examined! Seriously, you were a saint to put up with it because I would have showed them the door! I can say this adamantly because my brother and his wife have two ridiculously undertrained dachsands that are treated far better than their daughter. They always insisted on taking them where they were not welcome and would show up here, take advantage of my good nature - at that time - bring the dogs in, and they'd promptly go to the bathroom on the floor. Every.single.time. They also thought that since it was my house, I should clean it up! After the fourth time, my good nature went the way of the DoDo and I would not allow them into my home if the dogs were with them. I would stand at the door with it open just a crack and speak through the crack. They no longer bring their dog babies with them. Good grief....seriously, there is too much crazy in the world. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Yuck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rieshy Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 :lol::lol::lol: Just picturing my husband's face if someone did that at our home. I don't think you are behind the times I just think there are a lot of seriously inconsiderate people out there. Would I freak out if someone invited me to their home and allowed their dog on the table. Yes, quietly in my head, but it's their house, live and let live.... In my home? I always endeavor to make guests feel welcome. We keep a dog crate in the garage for when my mother-in-law visits and I put up a child gate so the dog can be in the entry hall and within view of us, but we have allergy issues and the dog is not welcome to roam, especially on the carpets and furniture. My mother in law appreciates the arrangement and the kids fight over who gets to take the dog on it's next walk. Even though this arrangement is long standing mother-in-law always asks ahead of each visit if it is still o.k. for the dog to come. Common courtesy goes a long way. When my step mother asked if she could bring her 3 cats for a Christmas visit I said yes, but they would have to stay in the garage. She chose to stay home and my Dad came alone. No hurt feelings on either side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I'm afraid I'd have to go ahead and be dead to them. There are limits! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 (edited) It would be the last food related event they were invited to in my home. We have an acquaintance that won't keep the big dog out of the kitchen, paws on counter, table, snatching licks and gobbles at every chance. After witnessing this twice we stopped (ETA Oops! Started, not stopped!) declining invitations to eat there. Actually love the dog, non-food occassions are fine, but if there's a meal wanted - we know a lot of good restaurants that don't allow animals. Edited June 11, 2012 by AuntieM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I'm afraid I'd have to go ahead and be dead to them. There are limits! :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:Love it! This is the new Hive way of establishing firm boundaries...we send "In Memorial of what once was our relationship that is now deceased" cards to all of our lethal relatives. Shoot, one could be extra nice about it and send a "sympathy" bouquet from proflowers.com along with the card!! :D Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssavings Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 :ack2::ack2: Disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 It sounds like you were being extremely polite in not saying anything, but I would have spoken up in my own home. This is pretty silly behaviour for two grown adults to do in someone else's home. A gentle reminder that dogs don't eat at the table in this house would probably have ended it, though they might not come back again. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 :ack2: I have an aunt who had a pit bull (so not a tiny dog) who liked to share her ice cream cones with the dog. She would get a lick, then he, then she... Once in the middle of this she asked me if I would like a lick as well :ack2::ack2: OP-That would be the last meal that they were ever invited to in my house, if a meal was necessary, we would find a restaurant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 That is...bizarre!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 (edited) I don't think you're behind the times except for being shocked at what appears to be a growing trend. You are absolutely current on the etiquette of graciousness in the face of guests' nonsense. I'm another huge dog-lover. Our dog has full access to every part of our house and furniture, and sleeps in our bed. The keyword there, in case you missed it, is "our". We don't force other people to host her in their homes and she certainly is not invited to their dinner table! How.rude! Edited June 11, 2012 by MyCrazyHouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carol p Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Wow! When it comes to my inlaws----I let my husband handle them. I let him know how I feel but let him tell them what is o.k. in our home. We had a similar issue w/my inlaws dog on our couch(but not as gross as your issue)! Put your foot down w/ your husband and let him put it down with his family!!!! Carol Mom of 3ds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 you know, I am sooo forgiving of the quirks of others. I really am. I would have even locked up my cats. My cats would be fine with that so there you go. And I love my kitty cats, love, love, love them! I will give them my own food in their own dish! I will feed them from my fingers but then go wash my hands. I am fine with using a regular eating spoon from the drawer to dole out wet cat food as long as it goes right in the dishwasher. But that is... um... wow. You say they have a 'dog baby'. Is that because they are dealing with 'issues' of not having kids etc? You don't have to tell me. It's not my business. It just sounds like they are not really seeing things realistically. It seems to me that they are having issues beyond boundaries with germs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Wow. You were very gracious. I can't believe anyone would find that acceptable. No one's pet would even be allowed IN my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I would send them a parasite test kit. And no, that is not acceptable at all. And I love dogs. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Tiny yorkie? I wouldn't mind. I don't see what's the big deal at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Ick, Ick, Ick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 (edited) I'm horrified beyond words that people would allow their dogs to sit at the table and eat off plates. :svengo: Miss Manners says (and yes, I looked it up) that the most tactful thing to do would be to announce an allergy. "This is not strictly a lie if you define 'allergy' loosely, the way sophisticated children have learned to do this, as in 'I think I'm allergic to vegetables.'" If they want to stay home because their dog baby isn't invited, that's their choice. (FTR, there is only one size of Yorkshire terrier, and "teacup" isn't it. Clearly they are not very discriminating or knowledgeable in general. Hmph.) And just in case they decide to invite people over, I'd find a reason not to go, 'cuz you gotta know there's dog-kissing-without-hand-washing going on there!:ack2: Edited June 11, 2012 by Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Way the hell NO. Sorry, it's not your place to feel guilty for your in laws misguided priorities. That is flat out disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I say this with all the maturity and sophistication my middle-aged self can muster: EEEEEEWW. Do they genuinely view this dog as their baby? I was recently behind a woman in line for a museum, and she was truly aghast that she wasn't allowed to take her dog in with her. She argued passionately that it was not, in fact, a dog but her child. They couldn't discriminate against her child. She'd sue them. The security people treated her with remarkable respect and restraint, under the circumstances, but good grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I'm seriously grossed out. ... I might have nightmares. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sillymommy Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Your BIL & SIL know how dogs clean their genitalia, right?!? They're aware of germ theory? So gross! :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Y' know, just reading this thread kind of makes me want to wash my hands, brush my teeth and disinfect my dining table. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Totally unacceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativish Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Oh I knew I should have quit reading at "dog baby":tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 :eek: :ack2: You're NOT rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Anything that licks it's b*tt, shouldn't a plate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mélie Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 And I thought my parents were bad with their bichon. :glare: Totally rude and totally gross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henriettakittycat Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Not ok. Totally ick. When Andrew was four we were renting a house that didn't allow indoor pets. My brother's girlfriend's grandparents came to see my brother, girlfriend, and their new baby at the house. They brought the dog child with them into the house. At first they were holding it but then put it down and let it run around. It went into the living room. I told them to get it out and they said, "Oh we don't mind if it messes in here!" Um, no, but I mind. Whe the great-grandma started to spit her chew into the baby's bottle I gagged and left the room. They were not allowed back after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 :smilielol5: Ok, you all are seriously cracking me up!! My dh and I probably should have said something, but we were both sort of like this when it happened: :blink: and we didn't get much beyond that for the entire meal. The proverbial deer caught in the headlights. When they left and we finally came to our senses, my dh said how grossed out he was by the whole thing and that it wouldn't be happening in the future. Dear MIL said that we were being very selfish and insensitive towards them. :001_huh: We were blessed enough to have three children, and because they have married in their mid-forties, it is unlikely that they ever will and that "Sophie" is as much as child to them as ours are to us. Dh pointed out that none of our real children are allowed to lick the table either. :lol: MIL was not amused. :D I'm thanking my lucky stars that Thanksgiving is not at my house this year and that we will probably not have cause to see Dog Baby until next Memorial Day. Hopefully the weather will be nicer. I will say that I took an inordinate amount of pleasure in watching Mommy and Daddy fuss over Dog Baby when my "nasty, uncouth kitties" got too close. Literally BIL flew across the room shouting when one of my kittens DARED to get too close to his little princess. "He has claws! He could hurt her!" Well then precious puppy would have learned a lesson, wouldn't she? Don't bark at the real animals. :lol: I think my cats were just baffled, because Dog Baby barked, but she was wearing clothes. They weren't sure what the heck she was. Best moment of the night: BIL was going on about Dog Baby's new dress and how she'd gotten a spot on it right before her photo session (!) and how they were hoping it wouldn't show in the final photos. DH looks at his brother and says, "Who are you?" :smilielol5: I laughed so hard I snorted. Thanks for letting me know I'm not crazy...this time. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I have a fond memory of being 5 or 6 and sitting on the couch with my dog. I drank milk out of one side of the glass and then held the glass for her to drink from the other side. I'm sure my mom was completely unaware. I'm not 6 anymore. Our dog was never at the table. In fact she wasn't permitted in the kitchen when we had meals. Your relatives are gross. No one should need to be told "no dogs on the table" or "wash your hands after handling dog and before handling food". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I love dogs. I own a 3 lb Yorkie that I adore. BUT that is just disgusting! EWWWWW!!!! No freaking way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMom2One Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I think it's fine if they do it in their own home, but I don't think they should expect anyone else to put up with it. Here, here! :iagree: That makes me gag just thinking about the dog at the table. Gross. :ack2: You ain't a kiddin! It sounds like you were being extremely polite in not saying anything, but I would have spoken up in my own home. This is pretty silly behaviour for two grown adults to do in someone else's home. A gentle reminder that dogs don't eat at the table in this house would probably have ended it, though they might not come back again. I would like to think I'd speak up had it been at my house, but then again I think I may have been completely dumbfounded. I don't think you're behind the times except for being shocked at what appears to be a growing trend. You are absolutely current on the etiquette of graciousness in the face of guests' nonsense. I'm another huge dog-lover. Our dog has full access to every part of our house and furniture, and sleeps in our bed. The keyword there, in case you missed it, is "our". We don't force other people to host her in their homes and she certainly is not invited to their dinner table! How.rude! Yes, I agree here too. Just because they baby their dog at their home doesn't mean it's okay to do it at someone else's home. I would be tempted to either leave them out of the next eating event at your house or be up front with an invitation, letting them know that dog babies must be crated or leashed in another room during the meal. As I type this I'm thinking how utterly unbelievable it is that a person even has to stipulate this with an invitation. :lol::lol::lol: Blessings, Lucinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Best moment of the night: BIL was going on about Dog Baby's new dress and how she'd gotten a spot on it right before her photo session (!) and how they were hoping it wouldn't show in the final photos. DH looks at his brother and says, "Who are you?" :smilielol5: I laughed so hard I snorted. :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 How about I go to their house, lick my hands, and then handle the common serving utensils? No, that is not acceptable. Please. Your relatives need to get a clue. Are you sure they aren't just trying to get a reaction? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Eeeeewwwwww. I love my dog to itty itty bitty pieces, but there is no way. No way. My husband would have a stroke if someone tried that here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I think it's fine if they do it in their own home, but I don't think they should expect anyone else to put up with it. :iagree::iagree::iagree: EWWWWWW They would have been asked to leave and not by me either...My kids would have flipped out LOL. That is just disgusting and I cannot believe you sat through that without freaking out, you are way more tolerant than me!! Good job not freaking out I really mean it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Wow! How terribly odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 And here I thought it was weird when I went to open up our office last week, and there was a dog in the middle of the room (along with a roomful of people). A dog which did NOT leave when the people left. ??? Turns out our employee had promised to dog-sit for the neighbor and then took a sick day. All the visitors assumed he was my dog, and I assumed he was theirs. But, at least he didn't try to eat off the snack tray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Y' know, just reading this thread kind of makes me want to wash my hands, brush my teeth and disinfect my dining table. Ohhhh yeah. While fighting the urge to hurl all the while. Kinda like now. Honestly, what in the world is wrong w/ppl?! *gag* *gack* *gag* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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