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Have you ever left a child behind?


Have you left a child behind?  

  1. 1. Have you left a child behind?

    • Yes, I still can't believe I did it
      21
    • Yes, these things happen
      20
    • No, I can't imagine how anyone would
      40
    • No, but these things happen
      166
    • Other
      4


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oops! I do think it happens - and I can see how it happened in that article. I have left my daughter behind one - when she was a very small baby asleep in bed and I loaded up my DS and drove about 5 minutes away to collect some paperwork. I got the paperwork, went back to the car and looked through the window to see the baby 'gone'! I had about 2 seconds of OMG WHERE IS MY BABY!!! then realised what I'd done. We drove home very fast - and she was still sound asleep. I felt incredibly bad about it though!

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We left my now 15yods at home one time when he was about five. We were heading out to pick up our 4-H sheep and we had to take two vehicles (about three miles away from our home). He went outside with the rest of us but instead of getting into one of our vehicles, he headed to the backyard. We didn't realize he wasn't with us until the lady we were buying the sheep from (a good friend) asked us where he was! Panic ensured and I drove home as fast as I could. In the meantime, my mom and dad had arrived from out of town and found him sitting on the porch all by himself :) He was perfectly fine but I was a mess!

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Sort of, but it was dd abd she was already capable if staying home alone.

 

Dd and same age neighbor boy were playing next door. They somehow snuck over over here and neighbor boys father went out. Then i went out with ds. Neighbor and i got back at the same time. It was fine with me, but neighbor was mad because his sin had never stayed home alone. From then on, we checked with each other about the location of both kids.

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We did, but it was a long time ago, in my defense!:) We were invited to a friends home for lunch after church one Sunday. Each of the families assumed that two of the boys (one from each family) were with the other family until we got to their home and realized the boys were missing. These were the days before cell phones so they couldn't have called us to tell us we left them behind. The church was less than 10 minutes away and the boys were older (10-12) so I think they thought it was an adventure:)

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It really was brief, but yes I have.

 

All of us, plus dh's parents hopped in their RV to go out to eat. As we are pulling down the road, one of the kids yelled, "You forgot Sarah!!" :001_huh: She was 9 or 10 at the time. If one of the kids hadn't noticed, we probably would have gotten to the restaurant before we knew. It was an honest mistake, made during the hustle and bustle of loading everyone into the RV. She still likes to give us a hard time about forgetting her.

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No, that has never happened to us. But, especially when one parent thinks the other parent has the child or child was supposed to go home with grandma, but grandma thought the child was with grandpa or something similar, then I could see how easily it could happen. No judgment.

 

In this case, I really wonder what was going on with security. Being the Prime Minister, he had to be traveling with secret service agents and that little girl would be a prime target for political dissidents wanting to "make a statement". I can't believe they were NOT paying attention to her and making sure she was safe. Personally, I would think some heads should roll for this.

 

Faith

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No, but I did have a moment of panic. Preschooler and baby at the grocery store (while very pregnant!) Loaded up, pulled away, realized I didn't remember putting the baby in the car. Hit the break and was afraid to look back. Finally did, and there she was, right where she was supposed to be. But I still don't remember putting her in the car!

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No, that has never happened to us. But, especially when one parent thinks the other parent has the child or child was supposed to go home with grandma, but grandma thought the child was with grandpa or something similar, then I could see how easily it could happen. No judgment.

 

In this case, I really wonder what was going on with security. Being the Prime Minister, he had to be traveling with secret service agents and that little girl would be a prime target for political dissidents wanting to "make a statement". I can't believe they were NOT paying attention to her and making sure she was safe. Personally, I would think some heads should roll for this.

 

Faith

 

:iagree:

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The exact same way they did - I thought he was with dh, dh thought he was with me. It was really brief... But I've totally lost a kid for longer - in a foreign country no less.

 

Agreed that the lapse in the security detail seems way more troubling than their parenting skills.

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No, but I know someone who did leave their 7yo dd at church. It was a very small church, <30 people, so more like extended family. Both parents thought she had gone home with the other parent. Then, they thought maybe she had gone home, as often happened, with a friend. She was probably alone at the church for 20 minutes tops.

 

The dd likes to mention her abandonment occasionally. ;)

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We've left kids and teens at church on a few occasions. We take two vehicles so it was bound to happen sometime. We live a few miles away so it's not a big problem beyond being embarrassed.

 

I did drop off my 6 year old for the last day of public school once, only to find when I went to pick him up that kindergarten didn't come the last day. That's my "still can't believe I did that" moment.

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It's never happened to me, but I see how it could happen with parents driving in separate cars, etc. I agree with the other posters, though, that the security detail should have been on top of the situation. I'm surprised that each child doesn't have a designated security officer whenever they are out and about.

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Not yet, but I got left behind at a fast-food restaurant when I was 9. We were with my mom, siblings, aunt and cousins--2 moms and at least 10 kids. I went to the restroom towards the end of the the meal and when I came back everyone was gone--took them an hour to realize what had happened and come back for me!

 

Makes me relieved when all I leave behind is my cart full of groceries after a shopping trip!

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I left my then 6yo twice in the span of a couple of months. I had just adopted our second dd, so I had a newborn, 9 month old, 2yo, 6yo, 11yo, and 13yo. My two oldest boys usually put the 9mo and 2yo in their cars seats while I took care of the newborn. 6yo was responsible for getting himself in the van. Twice I drove off without him. We left him at a friends house and church, and immediately turned around to get him, so it wasn't too terribly scary. That's when I started doing a head count.

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I've never done it *knock on wood* but I can easily see how it happens when you have younger children, everyone's in a rush, parents leaving in separate cars, etc. It sounds like it wasn't overly traumatic for the kid. She just hung around for 15 minutes till her parents came back. I think most of the time this freaks the parents out more than the kids. :)

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I haven't, but when parents are driving separate cars, especially if the kids are used to going in either car (like, my big kids often ride with DH in his car and aren't strictly used to riding in my van), I could easily see it happening, especially for older kids who don't need carseats. I could easily see putting the baby in the van with me and having DD also hop in there, but DS2 might opt to go with Daddy, and I could see it being easy to forget DS1. He's quiet and sometimes a bit spacey, and it's equally likely that he would choose either his older sister or next youngest brother to be with, so I wouldn't necessarily think anything of him not being with me. This is why I count heads and double-check whenever we have two cars someplace.

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No, I've never left a kid behind, but I could see it happening, especially when splitting up in cars.

 

I did lock myself out of the house when I was 7 months pregnant with ds2. Ds1 was napping in his crib, and I'd gone to the curb to get the mail and the locked door had blown shut. I had to find a neighbor who was home so I could call someone. Luckily, my MIL, who lived about 10 minutes away at the time, came over with the extra key we had given her. Ds1 was fine, but I was in a panic!

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I voted no, but these things happen. There are certain things that happen with children that I live in absolute fear of because I could SOOOO see how it could happen!! This is one of them.

 

My other one is the idea of my messed-up, postpartum brain and accidentally leaving a baby in the car. It never happened, but when summer comes here and I would hear those stories, I would wake up with anxiety in the night, just begging the Lord to never, ever let me do that!! I grieve and pray for those parents who do that because I can see how it happens. :crying:

 

My other one is the idea of accidentally backing over my small child because I don't see them. I do a 360 around my car before getting in each time. Dh told me that they have a class at work that teaches them to do that in their company trucks. There was a guy who was about to leave home in his company truck, and his small child had crawled into the wheel well (can you imagine???) and because he did the 360 thing, he found him before leaving.

 

How did this turn into my post about my fears?? :lol:

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I wonder what the response would be here if the Obamas accidentally left Sasha in Ray's Hellburger or at Ben's Chili Bowl or something. I'm thinking anything Cameron gets is a fraction of what we would dish out here. Whole Secret Service departments would be fired.

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It has never happened with us. One thing we (my husband and I AND my parents too) absolutely do every.single.time she changes 'hands' is make sure that all parties know who she is with. My mom started the "she's on your shift" thing when she was a baby. When she changes hands, or crawls in a different car than the one she came in, or walks with my mom to a different part of the store, we call out "She's on your shift Granny". That way, we are all clear who has the kid..lol This is less important now that she is 9 than when she was 2, but we all still do it just to be clear who she is with. It really has helped us over the years. Now DD will do it herself "I'm on dad's shift mom, going to the hardware store with him!"

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I wonder what the response would be here if the Obamas accidentally left Sasha in Ray's Hellburger or at Ben's Chili Bowl or something. I'm thinking anything Cameron gets is a fraction of what we would dish out here. Whole Secret Service departments would be fired.

 

The reporting I have seen says that the Camerons are taking full responsibility: the children are their business. I've not heard of agents being assigned to the children separately from their father, and the reports also suggest that all the agents were travelling with him, none with the rest of the family. Perhaps this is their family choice.

 

Laura

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I wonder what the response would be here if the Obamas accidentally left Sasha in Ray's Hellburger or at Ben's Chili Bowl or something. I'm thinking anything Cameron gets is a fraction of what we would dish out here. Whole Secret Service departments would be fired.

 

You are probably right. When it comes to our public figures, we tend to not think of them as regular parents and scrutinize their every "failing". Ugh....of course, it's entirely possible that those protecting the president's family would be out of jobs the instant they did something like this. It's such a serious blunder....you don't turn the key in the ignition until you've counted heads and everyone is safe...standard, standard stuff. Heads should roll and I think there would major "a^^ whoopin's" here, but I don't really know how this stuff plays out in Britain.

 

I'm pretty kid oriented. To be honest with you, I'd be more livid of a lapse in safety protocol for Sasha and Mahlia (sp?) then I would be over the president. I felt that way about Chelsea Clinton when she was a youngster in the White House. Those babies don't choose their parents' professions and their well being should be PARAMOUNT! Forget the adults, keep the children out of harms way.

 

Faith

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Not so far-with only one, I think it would be hard to miss. However, I DID discover that my then almost 2 yr old could unlock and open the back door when a stranger appeared at the front door with my DD, who I'd thought was napping. She'd left her room, opened the back door and headed towards the playground across the street. Fortunately, she did this at about 2:45 when the parents were lining up to pick up their children from the elementary school NEXT to the playground, and a sharp eyed mom spotted her before she'd made it to the road, jumped out of her car, and retrieved my baby, bringing her back to the house she figured the child had escaped from. She was very nice about it-apparently her DS had done something similar as a toddler. But talk about a panic attack!

 

We put deadbolts that needed keys both directions on all outside doors that day :).

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I did lock myself out of the house when I was 7 months pregnant with ds2. Ds1 was napping in his crib, and I'd gone to the curb to get the mail and the locked door had blown shut. I had to find a neighbor who was home so I could call someone. Luckily, my MIL, who lived about 10 minutes away at the time, came over with the extra key we had given her. Ds1 was fine, but I was in a panic!

 

I've never forgotten a kid but I have done this. Ds was sleeping on our king bed when he was about 10 months old. I went outside in my slippers - don't remember why, maybe to put out trash - and the door was locked. We usually have a spare key outside but it had recently gotten lost. I ended up running up our hill to our neighbors house in my socks (since I couldn't run in my slippers), in the rain to get the spare key. All kinds of thoughts - what if he wakes up, what if he rolls over and falls off the bed. He was still in the exact same spot sleeping when I got back in.

 

I also used to constantly check the backseat to make sure the kids were there especially when they were being really quiet. I could see there being confusion when dealing with a lot of people and multiple vehicles.

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I never have but I only have three. Even with the three I am constantly counting and double checking. I imagine if I had a lot of children that I probably would. I'm just spacey like that. And since I know I'm spacey like that, I count my three.

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...all the agents were travelling with him, none with the rest of the family...

 

That's obviously a very different security arrangement than what is standard for a US president and his family.

 

*But* I can certainly understand large group + parents traveling separately = miscommunication. I haven't left my kids, but I can understand circumstances like those arising.

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That's obviously a very different security arrangement than what is standard for a US president and his family.

 

*But* I can certainly understand large group + parents traveling separately = miscommunication. I haven't left my kids, but I can understand circumstances like those arising.

 

.... I suspect that the less stringent security around the family might be because:

 

- Britain is less important in the world than is the US

- The Prime Minister is of less symbolic importance - we don't even elect him/her directly, after all. A lot of the symbolism - and therefore intense security - around the US President (I believe) comes from his status as figure head for the country. We have the Queen for that. You can see the same thing in US attitudes to the Stars and Stripes vs. UK attitudes to the Union Flag. The latter is less sacred because... we've got the Queen.

 

Laura

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Well with them taking separate cars, I can see how it would happen more easily.

 

Even when I KNOW my kids are with my dh in another car I still worry about leaving one. Or sometimes we go out with friends apple picking and such and the guys take one car and the girls take another and then the kids want to switch around? The who's got who of that could give the opportunity for leaving a kid behind somewhere.

 

I got left behind at camp, and my cousin (one of 5) got left behind at a gas station somewhere in the midwest on a family tip to Texas. :001_smile:

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I have never left them behind at a place we have gone to but I did forget dd4 in the car once when she was about 9 days old. We went to the drug store to pick up a prescription that had been called in. Because I was going to run in and grab it and be back out in under 5minutes I was going to leave all 4 in the car for a moment. As I walked up to the door the 3 big kids chased after me saying they wanted to come in. I was in and out in under 5 and when I got back to the car to buckle ds8(then 4) back into his carseat there was baby dd fast asleep in her car seat. She is almost 5 now and I still do a head check getting out of the car because it scared me so bad.

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oops! I do think it happens - and I can see how it happened in that article. I have left my daughter behind one - when she was a very small baby asleep in bed and I loaded up my DS and drove about 5 minutes away to collect some paperwork. I got the paperwork, went back to the car and looked through the window to see the baby 'gone'! I had about 2 seconds of OMG WHERE IS MY BABY!!! then realised what I'd done. We drove home very fast - and she was still sound asleep. I felt incredibly bad about it though!

 

My grandmother did the same thing with my mother. She went to a friend's house (nearby) for a lunch. Someone asked, "Where is the baby?" Ooops.

 

Cat

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No, but my in-laws, doing a road trip with all six kids in a station wagon, accidentally left the oldest boy, nose in his book (about age 12) at a rest stop once. They went a good half hour, the story goes, before realizing what they had done. He was still sitting, reading, when they got back.

 

My sister tells how my bil once on purpose left their newborn home alone to make a run to the hardware story. BIL's reasoning was "The baby is asleep in his crib. What could happen?" Need I had BIL was reamed out about it and it never happened again.

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We have, but it was my 15 year old and she was left at church. Same situation, each parent thought she was with the other.

 

I can totally see how that could happen with multiple families in multiple cars. However, where the heck were his secret service (whatever you call them)? That's the shocking part to me.

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.... I suspect that the less stringent security around the family might be because:

 

- Britain is less important in the world than is the US

- The Prime Minister is of less symbolic importance - we don't even elect him/her directly, after all. A lot of the symbolism - and therefore intense security - around the US President (I believe) comes from his status as figure head for the country. We have the Queen for that. You can see the same thing in US attitudes to the Stars and Stripes vs. UK attitudes to the Union Flag. The latter is less sacred because... we've got the Queen.

 

Laura

 

I think it's your second reason. We have no one else in the country who carries as much political and symbolic power.

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Not so far-with only one, I think it would be hard to miss. However, I DID discover that my then almost 2 yr old could unlock and open the back door when a stranger appeared at the front door with my DD, who I'd thought was napping. She'd left her room, opened the back door and headed towards the playground across the street. Fortunately, she did this at about 2:45 when the parents were lining up to pick up their children from the elementary school NEXT to the playground, and a sharp eyed mom spotted her before she'd made it to the road, jumped out of her car, and retrieved my baby, bringing her back to the house she figured the child had escaped from. She was very nice about it-apparently her DS had done something similar as a toddler. But talk about a panic attack!

 

We put deadbolts that needed keys both directions on all outside doors that day :).

My ds did this! Except he was 1 1/2 and it was 5:30am. My neighbor was on her front porch and spotted him walking down the sidewalk. We had to change our locks all to double keyed.

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I did, this past fall. I was going to drive dd to school. I started toward the car and then realized I'd left something and went back in the house. She was outside, not in the car I took. I got in the van, thinking she was in the back seat, and started up the drive and thru the property to the street. I was chatting at her, then realized she wasn't answering! I turned around immediately and drove home, where I found her crying in the driveway.

 

She'd gotten into the other car, and watched me pull away without her. She thought I was just moving the car out of the way so I could pull out better, and then I drove off!

 

I felt so bad--and kinda mad that she didn't listen to me about which car I was using! But it was my fault, and I apologized all over the place. Now she ALWAYS asks Which Car Are We Taking?

 

I hate when I mess up and give kids something they will remember the rest of their lives.

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This thread makes me feel a lot better! I have not, but dh did and I take some of the blame there. We were late for a piano recital. We had all of the kids but ds in the car. He was driving with my Mom and we had to meet them there (they were following). Dh always gets the youngest out (she's on his side of the van) and I get the others out. I got "my side" kids out and went up to the building to make sure my mom found the right door. I find my mom and ds, we go in and dh took the other kids in while I waited. I get in and look around...no baby!!! I ask dh where she is and he looks at me in terror and flies out of there running to get her. The poor thing was already terrified of the car and was very upset. It was only like less than 2 minutes and just in the parking lot outside, but I was still mortified.

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Technically, yes I have. :001_huh:

 

I was at the Chiropractor and after my adjustment was paying, trying to wrangle my 3 y/o ds, trying to pay, etc. I had set my then 2 month old in his car seat beside the secretary desk. I finished, grabbed my older two and walked out the door. I got two feet down the sidewalk, screamed and ran back in. The secretary and the patient in the waiting room thought it was hilarious. I was mortified!

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I said yes, even though it was not leaving my ds and driving away. It was the most horrible, sickening feeling I've ever had! Ds was a NEWBORN and fell asleep on the way to a store. I was a new mom, not yet in the mom "routine", you know? ...and I got out of my car, went right into the store without him, and realized in about 3 minutes that I didn't have MY BABY with me!!!! I literally dropped the one thing I had, RAN out of the store and sobbed in the car with ds for a while before composing myself and going back in. WITH him. LOL

 

UGH. Terrible. :(

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I voted no but these this happen but now I remember that I did leave my then about 3 month old baby on the car briefly 3 times! I started on some vitamins which helped the spaciness. But it was very very scary. One time an older child reminded me as I walked away from the van in the parking lot once I looked down and saw the sling around me empty! Both of those times I was only steps away from the van but it was summer in las Vegas! The other time was at home and the van was in the garage. Again only a few minutes and she was fine but it scared me like you wouldn't believe. I think it was a b complex that settled my brain down and possibly fish oil.

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