Names on Child's Shirt

[gevs4him]

Okay I am asking because we only allow initials.

A lady on our ds's baseball team took it upon herself to put our last name on ds's ball shirt!! We had already asked her not to and she said she would put the initials, but she did not. We have always been concerned with placing our children's name, first and last, on anything they will be wearing or carrying. What is your opinion and reasoning?

[Lara in Colo]

:iagree:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I understand your reasoning. Even if I didn't, though, the woman was totally out of line because you told her that you didn't want it. I would return the shirt and get one just with initials.

[besroma]

I agree also. If you are uncomfortable, I would get new shirts.

 

She should abide by your wishes.

[gevs4him]

I understand your reasoning. Even if I didn't, though, the woman was totally out of line because you told her that you didn't want it. I would return the shirt and get one just with initials.

 

Thank you Jean - I needed to hear this. The daughter and I spent 2 hours fixing the shirt so it would just have initials. Then one of the other players dad asked my husband tonight why our son did not have our last name - when my husband told him - he gave my husband a look :glare:

[Spy Car]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

Edited June 8, 2012 by Spy Car

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Last names on sports jerseys is fairly common, and yes, you will come across as paranoid to most of the other parents.

[AuntieM]

I said no name, mostly due to your son's age. If he were on a high school varsity team, maybe, but not for a kid his age. It's too visible to any predator cruising the ball fields to scope out kids.

 

Oops, did I fuel your paranoia? FWIW, I used to be involved in a museum field that had a youth volunteer corps that dealt with the public. Their name tags had only the first name of their choosing - not always their actual first name, just a consistent name of their choosing. To have put their full name out there on a tag readable by the general public would have created a liability for my institution, in addition to being dangerous for the kid.

[swellmomma]

She was out of line simply because you specifically requested that it not be put on there.

 

When my kids were in sports that had names on jerseys we always did first names only. I figured the risk of some perv tricking them into think he knows them because he read their name compared to the benefit of the sound of hearing everyone cheer for them by name because now you know it was worth it. Too many years playing baseball or soccer we would just yell go go go, in a generic type of way. The years the kids had their names on, and people could cheer them by name all the kids on the team played better. They took pride in hearing their name called etc.

 

I would never allow last names before high school though, just as a safety thing, even if the risks are low it makes me feel better.

 

In your case the fact is you said initials only and she defied you which is not acceptable. I am glad you were able to make it initials only.

[Lab1]

I only do initials. If it was a team shirt, I'd permit a last name, but never allow my kid to wear it beyond practice/game.

 

I love monograms and put them on my kids clothes and items.

[Jpoy85]

a predator is going to choose a kid based on their name being on their shirt?

 

:confused:

 

I think you sound paranoid. Id put my name on there and just watch my kids. :grouphug:

[fourcatmom]

I personally don't have a problem with my dd's first or last name being on a jersey but we do nicknames. Each girl has their own nickname given to them by the coach and that's what he calls them. I don't believe it came from any kind of concern or fear, just something he has always done. Now it's a unique part of our team and the girls love it. She also has practice shirts that she wears everywhere with her nickname and number on it.

 

That might be an option for you if you don't like the actual name being on his shirt.

 

HTH:001_smile:

[LaxMom]

My daughter is playing this weekend with her name on her jersey. I never even considered being concerned about it.

 

I understand the concern about plastering a kid's name all over them but, in all honesty, my kids don't go places without me. They don't walk to the bus stop or school, play away from home by themselves, etc. It's just not an issue.

 

That said, if you requested something and were told your request would be accommodated, that needs to be followed through.

[Guest]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

I feel the same. We've had team parents doing this for several seasons. It bothers me not at all.

[Laura Corin]

It wouldn't worry me. Especially with a nine year old.

 

Laura

[MyThreeSons]

Some sports leagues have rules against names on jerseys, particularly for younger children.

 

My personal stance is to do whatever is the norm for the league. If the league-issued jerseys don't have names, then I wouldn't add names -- at all.

[ThisIsTheDay]

If it was a team shirt, I'd permit a last name, but never allow my kid to wear it beyond practice/game.

 

:iagree:

 

The woman was out of line going against your request, and I agree that changing the name, particularly at this point, will get you odd looks from most parents and you will be perceived as overly paranoid.

 

My mom unintentionally overemphasized stranger danger to me as a child. It took me years to not be terrified in what were actually normal situations. I'm still not completely over it. In reality, it was people we already knew who were the dangerous ones.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree:

 

Last names on football jerseys are the norm here.

[SKL]

I don't think having a last name on a shirt is in any way dangerous. I would be more concerned about a first name, as it would enable a stranger to pretend to be familiar, e.g., "hey Joey, your mom asked me to drive you to ___." Now if your last name is VERY unusual (or it's Rockefeller), maybe, but I still think it's a bit paranoid to assume that the extremely rare pedophile stranger will happen to cross paths with your kid, take down his name, and look up your house later. I've never heard of an offender doing that. Despite the way these things are publicized, there really isn't a predatory stranger around every corner. Statistically your kid is far more likely to be victimized by someone who knows his first and last name already.

 

That said, I wish the woman had remembered your request. I would assume her mistake was unintentional since she told you she'd use initials.

[kewb]

a predator is going to choose a kid based on their name being on their shirt?

 

:confused:

:grouphug:

 

Yes. A predator will choose the easier target. If they know your childs name then it is easier for the predator to make like they know you already.

 

I allow my kids initials on their team jackets. Whether or not I am okay with it is not the issue. You told this person you did not want the name on it and they did it anyway after saying they wouldn't. That is what I have the issue with.

[MissKNG]

It's amazing how times have changed. When I was in high school, I wore my sport jacket with my last name huge across the back, my first name on the front, all the sports I played and of course my school! And I wore that thing everywhere cause it was cool to show off all your letters and patches.

[gevs4him]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

 

Bill,

 

We are not paranoid and we are not raising an unhealthy fearful child - we are smart parenting and simply feel if we pay $25.00 for a shirt we should be able to have it the way our family likes it and be able to wear it outside the ball park not just for the 8 games played.

[gevs4him]

a predator is going to choose a kid based on their name being on their shirt?

 

:confused:

 

I think you sound paranoid. Id put my name on there and just watch my kids. :grouphug:

 

 

Paranoid not - just smart parenting - we know a predator will chose whomever they want at any given time - they do not have to have anything to base it on. But we paid $25.00 for the shirt so it is our choice how we want it to read.

[Hockey Mom]

We have last names on the back of our hockey jerseys. However, hockey jerseys are for the games and not to be worn for any other reason outside of the games.

 

I also bought our favorite NHL team jerseys with my boys' first names on the back for them to wear to practices. My boys look very much alike, and it helps the coaches to distinguish between the two of them.

 

I'm not overly concerned about predators getting to my boys. We have code words in place, and practice scenarios to prevent stranger abductions. I don't want my boys singled out by their peers because their jerseys are different than the rest of their team mates. I'd rather educate them and be there to observe.

 

That said, if some other parent took it upon themselves to go against my specific wishes, I would be livid.

[LaxMom]

Bill,

 

We are not paranoid and we are not raising an unhealthy fearful child - we are smart parenting and simply feel if we pay $25.00 for a shirt we should be able to have it the way our family likes it and be able to wear it outside the ball park not just for the 8 games played.

 

I agree that the name should appear as you specified (unless against league rules).

 

That's not what your poll asks, though. And, personally, I think "smart parenting" has more to do with being present than whether a random stranger can figure out my kids' names. Random park-snatchers look for those they can separate from the others, and find out names through conversation with the kid. Familiar predators already know the kid's name.

[gevs4him]

I said no name, mostly due to your son's age. If he were on a high school varsity team, maybe, but not for a kid his age. It's too visible to any predator cruising the ball fields to scope out kids.

 

Oops, did I fuel your paranoia? FWIW, I used to be involved in a museum field that had a youth volunteer corps that dealt with the public. Their name tags had only the first name of their choosing - not always their actual first name, just a consistent name of their choosing. To have put their full name out there on a tag readable by the general public would have created a liability for my institution, in addition to being dangerous for the kid.

 

AuntieM,

 

Thank you for fueling my paranoia :D Oh am I bad our decision is not based on paranoia :tongue_smilie:

[KristenR]

When I had my first child I was overly paranoid about her name being on anything. I've since mellowed out. Truthfully, I am yelling my kids names to get their attention whenever we're out and it wouldn't be hard for anyone to pick it up in passing anyway.

 

Instead I have talked about stranger danger to my kids and truthfully, at their young ages, I am always with them. Names on the clothing don't bother me anymore.

 

But you have to do what you are comfortable with.

[angela in ohio]

Yes. If my dc will go with anyone who knows their name, I consider that a failure on my part.

 

I am careful about more things than most, I think, but I've never understood that one. By the time they are old enough to be out of my sight, they are old enough to know not to go with someone who calls them by name.

[creekland]

I'm ok with names. I can't imagine not being ok with it.

[acablue]

We do last names on jerseys here. It's totally normal at any age and I think it would look strange to see one player without a name on their back or with just their initials. My boys play on the same teams and have N. Lastname and J. Lastname on their jerseys to distinguish them. I can understand why someone wouldn't want a young child's first name on a shirt, but why exactly wouldn't you allow the last name?

[TXMomof4]

I don't think having a last name on a shirt is in any way dangerous. I would be more concerned about a first name, as it would enable a stranger to pretend to be familiar, e.g., "hey Joey, your mom asked me to drive you to ___." Now if your last name is VERY unusual (or it's Rockefeller), maybe, but I still think it's a bit paranoid to assume that the extremely rare pedophile stranger will happen to cross paths with your kid, take down his name, and look up your house later. I've never heard of an offender doing that. Despite the way these things are publicized, there really isn't a predatory stranger around every corner. Statistically your kid is far more likely to be victimized by someone who knows his first and last name already.

 

That said, I wish the woman had remembered your request. I would assume her mistake was unintentional since she told you she'd use initials.

 

:iagree: The odds of your child being the one out of a league full of children - all of them with their names on their jerseys - being the one that's stalked or harmed.....well, I wouldn't lose sleep over that. If you have enemies looking to harm your child already I might be a little more concerned, but in normal sitautions I wouldn't waste a second thought on the risk of it.

 

I'd be perturbed that the woman didn't honor my request in the first place, but I wouldn't raise any stink about it.

[Princess Peach]

I voted to allow last name because that's the way it is on sports jerseys around here. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

[Farrar]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree:

[Dobela]

Name on jersey or not, around here someone can learn a child's name just because the parents are on the sides yelling the name of every child at some point or another anyway. My son has never wanted to be on any team (like basketball or baseball) because he doesn't like relative strangers to be yelling his name. It really bothered him when he was younger and shyer and we didn't have all those stranger danger talks.

 

At age 5 I don't have my dd in anything that would mean her name would be on her body anyway. I didn't do it with my son either. Now at 12 names on shirts don't bother me.

[ktgrok]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree:

[Spock]

Yes. If my dc will go with anyone who knows their name, I consider that a failure on my part.

 

I am careful about more things than most, I think, but I've never understood that one. By the time they are old enough to be out of my sight, they are old enough to know not to go with someone who calls them by name.

 

I have the same logic, so I don't care about names on clothing. As it happens, though, the only one of mine with his name on his clothes is my son in the Navy, where they have his name (sometimes full, sometimes only last name) on a LOT of his uniforms.

 

However, I agree that the shirt should have come as requested--if initials only was requested, initials only should have been received.

[LMA]

My kids have their last names on their hockey game jerseys. They have their full name on their figure skating jackets. My daughter has her full name on her dance jacket. I never thought of safety issues. They wear their jackets everywhere and no one has ever spoken to them because of their jacket.

 

Honestly, it's a team sport and I would just have the format of whatever the team wanted to keep it uniform. It is traditional to have names on the team clothing.

[QuirkyKapers]

I think since you specified no names just initials, it should have been honored. Here, my kids last name is on their jerseys. I haven't worried about it. I do prefer last names to first names though but wouldn't have it changed if that was what the team was doing.

[Wheres Toto]

I don't think having a last name on a shirt is in any way dangerous. I would be more concerned about a first name, as it would enable a stranger to pretend to be familiar, e.g., "hey Joey, your mom asked me to drive you to ___." Now if your last name is VERY unusual (or it's Rockefeller), maybe, but I still think it's a bit paranoid to assume that the extremely rare pedophile stranger will happen to cross paths with your kid, take down his name, and look up your house later. I've never heard of an offender doing that. Despite the way these things are publicized, there really isn't a predatory stranger around every corner. Statistically your kid is far more likely to be victimized by someone who knows his first and last name already.

 

That said, I wish the woman had remembered your request. I would assume her mistake was unintentional since she told you she'd use initials.

 

This is what I was thinking. Nobody is going to get my kids attention by shouting their last name.

 

When I had my first child I was overly paranoid about her name being on anything. I've since mellowed out. Truthfully, I am yelling my kids names to get their attention whenever we're out and it wouldn't be hard for anyone to pick it up in passing anyway.

 

 

It's kind of a running joke in all my homeschool groups that wherever we go, everybody learns my sons name (because I'm constantly calling him, correcting him, etc.). :glare: Definitely not hard to figure out his name.

 

I never really thought about the names on shirts. My oldest didn't do any team sports until she was in high school but she was in competition dance. Their full names were published in the programs sold by the competition so it wouldn't be hard to figure out a kids name, especially if they did a solo. Most of the studios had the kids wearing team jackets with first names on them, my dd has a very common first name so hers also had her last initial.

 

The woman was wrong to go against your stated preference but I do think it will just make your kid stand out more.

[regentrude]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

:iagree:

And do not forget: statistically, the most likely person to harm the child is the baseball coach.

[bbmom]

Regardless of how anyone feels about the issue, you asked for initials, the woman ordering the shirts agreed, and it was wrong, so in your case I would have a problem with it for that alone. For safety reasons, we only allow last names until they are 11-12 and then they can choose if they want their first name on something. I do think it would be odd to only have initials on a sports jersey and would likely ask you what safety concern you have with the last name being on there (because a I would be genuinely curious because I don't feel last name is a safety issue and I work in a safety-related field) but I would respect your reasoning even if I did think it was overly cautious.

[Mommyof4ks]

For team shirts we allow names, because they only wear them on the field, but not on shirts they wear out everyday.

[merry gardens]

Yes, I allow names on jerseys. I want coaches and teammates to learn my children's names. For the sake of safety, I prefer last name or initial and last name, but we've done first names too.

 

Name or no name, I discourage them from wearing their sports uniforms outside of sports. Not so much for safety, but because the uniforms simply aren't very attractive. :tongue_smilie: When they do wear them, I am attentive that they change out of a jersey with their names on them when we go anywhere where they could get quickly out of my sight.

[2squared]

We put last names on shirts so the shirts can be passed down to younger children, but I am not opposed to using first names. I'm just too pragmatic. :001_smile:

 

I would assume if someone is against names on shirts that they would also request the other parents and children to not yell out the children's names during the game? I can't imagine anyone not being able to know every child's name by the end of a game if they are paying attention. Aren't all the parents and kids cheering and yelling at the games? I never thought that I might be offending other parents by cheering for the kid by name. :001_huh:

[sparrow]

So far, no names have been put on my daughter's athletic tees and jerseys (she's the only athlete in the family :D). It would not have occurred to me to be concerned that her name was on the shirt. I think *she* would think it's awesome, because it looks like the pros!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I personally probably wouldn't care one way or the other about the name being on the shirt. I didn't vote because it has never come up for me.

 

BUT, you did specifically ask her to just put initials, so I would be peeved about that.

[happyhomemaker]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree: It's not something I would put on a regular shirt that dc would wear all the time, but it wouldn't bother me at all on a jersey.

[Jan in SC]

A jersey with initials only would be illegal here, if everyone else had the last name. It is all or nothing. My children had their first names and initials monogrammed on most of their clothes when they were preschool age, which is a very southern habit. It didn't bother me, as they were always with me.

 

At nine years of age, unless you haven't updated and your ds is actually older, I certainly wouldn't worry about it.

[Desert Rat]

I agree with Bill. You will be with him at practice and games. The fear is unfounded. My ds has had his name on soccer jerseys before and it didn't bother me. We were always with him.

[Jenny in Florida]

I thought last names on sports shirts were kind of traditional?