When do kids usually start groaning about school work?

[Aspasia]

I'm just wondering. I see comments here and here, usually about math, referencing kids who drag their feet or complain or resist. It seems like really little kids are always so excited about school. When did that change for your kids (if it has at all)? When did it become a job that has to get done, rather than an endless game?

 

(Be honest! We're not going to judge you or your kid if there is a subject he or she isn't thrilled about.)

[Ellie]

Some dc never do. :) And I wouldn't *expect* them to groan about it, either.

[5LittleMonkeys]

When the work becomes redundant, pointless or in any way resembles busy work.

[lmrich]

about 9:00 am on Monday - every Monday.

[MomatHWTK]

The minute they wake up? Oh, age? As soon as it's not fun K work anymore. Mine each started to complain when they couldn't get the answers instantly and had to do some thinking or writing. But we're working on that. :glare:

[kwg]

:lol: I read the title and thought "about 8 AM or whenever I say, "ok guys it's about time to start school" :lol:

[Cosmos]

When it involves a pencil.

[Sharilynn29]

Neither of my kiddos groan much (8 and 13) unless they feel that the work is too hard. Sometimes the work is too hard and other times they just don't want to go the extra mile. Busywork can be an issue as well.

[ErinD]

With the exception of math, we haven't encountered it too much. That being said, child #3 starts kindergarten this fall and I fully expect him to challenge me at every turn including complaints. He just has that full-on-intense-feelings personality.

[Mommy_of_4]

DS starts groaning when things are too easy. Only took me a yr or so to figure that out!

[fraidycat]

I imagine it depends on the kid. My kids have groaned since they popped out of my womb. :lol:

 

This! Or so it seems...

 

DD used to love school and work. A combination of ps and several moves and probably age seems to have dulled it, but I do see glimpses of the "old DD" now and again. Brief, but glimpses nonetheless. Yesterday when I told the kids we were on Spring Break from school and instead were going to work on getting the house cleaned up and organized DD told me "I'd rather do school." :)

 

DS, on the other hand, is DS. He likes to learn, but he's not overly fond of anything involving a pencil and paper, on my terms. On his terms, he'll draw elaborate pictures, color very neatly, and try to write words but if he *must* do it, he does it, but he lets me know in no uncertain terms that he isn't happy about it.

[Aspasia]

Some dc never do. :) And I wouldn't *expect* them to groan about it, either.

 

Never? Really??? Do such children ever have anything required of them?

[learningmama]

Mine have always complained. School is not hard for them usually, they just don't like work.

[boscopup]

I don't allow "groaning", but dawdling started happening when writing was expected, and when things started to get the least bit challenging. Part of the problem was that DS had been in school for a year and a half where he had ZERO challenge whatsoever. We've changed that. ;) He's no longer coasting through school. His dawdling occurs if something is too easy or too hard. You have to find the sweet spot inbetween. :tongue_smilie:

 

I do treat it as an attitude problem and don't allow it to continue. I'm pretty strict about that, so it doesn't happen as much now.

[FairProspects]

I imagine it depends on the kid. My kids have groaned since they popped out of my womb. :lol:

 

:iagree:I think it is really based on personality. My older ds especially complained about school at age 5, but he complained about many other things prior to that. It just transferred to school once he realized that was the new task. He does have some LDs though, so in reality he was working very hard just to get the basics. I'm not one that subscribes to the "happy heart" obedience school of parenting, so while we are working on it, I don't see at as outright defiance or anything.

 

I actually laughed outloud when I heard Laura Bush say that "all children come to school wanting to learn" because I know from experience that is completely untrue!

Edited April 17, 2012 by FairProspects

[RoundAbout]

My DS is a creative busy little guy who always has his own projects going around the house or outside. We also have a lot of really cool toys. He also doesn't crave adult approval that much. School work has never been something he loves. He doesn't usually complain much, but I try to sneak it in during breakfast or bribe with a sweet treat to keep grumbling to a minimum. I don't think this is unusual for an active 5 year-old boy.

[kandty]

I don't allow "groaning", but dawdling started happening when writing was expected, and when things started to get the least bit challenging. Part of the problem was that DS had been in school for a year and a half where he had ZERO challenge whatsoever. We've changed that. ;) He's no longer coasting through school. His dawdling occurs if something is too easy or too hard. You have to find the sweet spot inbetween. :tongue_smilie:

 

I do treat it as an attitude problem and don't allow it to continue. I'm pretty strict about that, so it doesn't happen as much now.

 

I so need your help! I consider it an attitude problem too. Mine have been told that I don't want to hear or see any complaining about school. I can't break them of it! We have been working on this for a year as the problem got 10x worse. I have tried every punishment under the sun. I am strict and I don't give in and give consequences everytime I hear or see it (which is all day every day). I have even tried rewarding. That only last a day and then they start thinking the rewards are not worth being happy about school work. :glare: We have even changed how we do school and products used. I completely understand not being excited about school. I hated school as a child, but I kept that attitude to myself. I wouldn't have the nerve to tell my teacher that this assignment is stupid and I don't want to do it! (Maybe it is easier to say that to mom.)

 

I have to do something to get my kids to stop the complaining, as it really bothers me and it is not something I can just let go. But, I am completely out of ideas and this is our biggest struggle in homeschooling.

[Another Lynn]

For the oldest - it was 6th grade

for the 2nd child - it was when the oldest hit 6th grade

for the 3rd child - it was when the oldest hit 6th grade

for the 4th child - it was when the oldest hit 6th grade

 

See a pattern here? Once the oldest one figured it out, they all followed suit. (The youngest still thinks it's fun to play school with her babies)

[mommytime]

I always loved school and school work. I never groaned. The fact lots of other people do was a foreign concept to me until I had my two. My husband says he groaned a lot too. *sigh*

 

Oh well, at least I'm having fun. :D

 

 

This is us, too. DS7 hates all schoolwork, and tells me so. I struggle with him so much. The only thing he likes is listening to read-alouds. He's always been able to listen to good books for a long time. Actually, DS5 LOVED schoolwork, loved letters and numbers, and tagged along with everthing DS7 did...until he copied DS7's bad attitude.:mad: He idolizes his older brother in everything. Sometimes I have to remind him to put away the groaning, cause I know that inside he really does enjoy it. :lol: That kid just eats up workbooks with a spoon. Especially shiny new workbooks.

[Clear Creek]

With my oldest it began this school year (4th grade) as she finally began to be challenged. Apparently everything was easy up until now! With my second child it began the first day of K when I pulled out the book to give her her very first reading lesson. Everything about learning is difficult and not remotely enjoyable for her; she does her schoolwork to get it over with every day. I have given up finding ways to make it enjoyable for her; if it isn't playing outdoors or with Barbies or watching TV, she is not going to enjoy it. She also complains mightily and drags her feet when it comes to chores as well, it appears to just be a personality trait. My youngest is still pre-K age so he hasn't yet had a chance to groan about schoolwork (although he has tolerated learning to read just fine and does math for fun).

[Missouri Okie]

When it involves a pencil.

 

This is my son. He used to complain about doing ANYTHING and fight against 'doing school'. He doesn't do that anymore at 7. I don't know why. He now takes it all in stride except the writing. He hates copywork!

 

The reading, math (we use RS, which doesn't involve much writing), violin and narrations, he takes in stride. He's on the fence about spelling.

[Alice]

My oldest has kind of a complainer personality so he's always complained about "school" in general. However, there is much he likes and he'll tell you that if you ask him one by one about subjects. It's mostly just personality for him, he will say he "hates" such and such but then when we are doing it he's fine. It's a character issue that we are really working on with him and that I see improving.

 

So far my kindergartener has a much sunnier and easy going personality and rarely complains. However, it's K so I'm not sure that's a good test. He also likes doing school because he is so eager to be big and he likes the one on one time that he gets. So we'll see...I expect eventually there will be something he'll groan about.

[serendipitous journey]

I imagine it depends on the kid. My kids have groaned since they popped out of my womb. :lol:

This. Button has been complaining since he was three. Why did he have "work" at three? He would not tolerate: being read to; being told stories to; hearing music; being sung to; would not dance; would not do any group activity; resisted playing outside; hated being addressed or played with by almost all children; didn't love videos; wouldn't draw, cut, paint, or glue; wouldn't entertain himself. I had to do something with him. His arts and crafts was mandatory. :)

 

Bot-bot, however, loves to do everything. Thank heavens.

 

ETA: we do penalize bad attitudes, and give encouragement and positive reinforcement (usually affection, occasionally chocolate) for good ones. If he talks himself out of being educated for the day, he's stuck in his room for school hours (incl. evening read-aloud, another thing he wouldn't tolerate if it weren't mandatory). If he does it the next day, he's stuck in his room with no Legos. Before we had two children I just took all the "upstairs" -- ie, living room -- toys away until he'd completed a good day of school. Usually he gets one or two time-outs before we hit the Big Consequence, however, and I also expect myself to be sweet and cheerful and I try to model a good attitude and hard work. And we get tons of play time mixed into our days.

Edited April 17, 2012 by serendipitous journey

[sixpence1978]

It totally depends on the kid and the subject.

 

My DD, the only one I homeschool, groans each and every day when it is time to start work. She then groans again after lunch when it is time to finish up. Then again, she started this at age 5. While certain aspects of school are fun, like read-alouds, art, and science experiments, the rest she would just rather not do. Even if I have a fun activity planned for something like math, it usually still is met with groans.

 

My DS, on the other hand, has never groaned. During the years when he was at home, he was always more than eager to do his work. And even though he is in private school now, he loves to sit in on school time and for me to give him extra work when he has days off or snow days.

[HappyCrazyMama]

I'm just wondering. I see comments here and here, usually about math, referencing kids who drag their feet or complain or resist. It seems like really little kids are always so excited about school. When did that change for your kids (if it has at all)? When did it become a job that has to get done, rather than an endless game?

 

(Be honest! We're not going to judge you or your kid if there is a subject he or she isn't thrilled about.)

 

As soon as it involved work it became a job. Though they don't often complain I do hear comments now and again.

[AnointedHsMom]

The older one has groaned since he was born it feels like. He HATED to be read to no matter what I did. Still hates any thing school like with a passion. Still spends every day trying to get out of doing any school if he can -sigh-

 

The younger one groans some but he's different. He loved to be read to and snuggle on the couch. Still does but at 6 he's starting to get way more wiggly about it and if he's bored he starts the "I hate school" bit. I have to keep it moving with him.

[KrissiK]

My DD1 has never liked school. He wants to play. All day long. He's almost 9. He throws a fit every day. The rest of my kids tolerate it. They do it without complaint.

[Colleen]

It seems like really little kids are always so excited about school. When did that change for your kids (if it has at all)? When did it become a job that has to get done, rather than an endless game?

Neither of these extremes have been my reality. My guys were never what I'd describe as "so excited" about school, but neither have they ever groaned about it. It's always been just a natural extension of our lives, something we do. Sure there are things they enjoy more and things they enjoy less, but whining and dragging feet doesn't happen here.

[JessieC]

For my dd, it depends on her mood, but it's been on and off from the beginning, when we started homeschooling at age 5. Most days she's fine. If I pretend I am a teacher at Hogwarts teaching a class on the Muggle world, she is perfectly happy.

[Mommy22alyns]

Sylvia? First grade. :glare: Rebecca doesn't really complain much. Sylvia isn't that bad either, but she'll sometimes comment that she doesn't want to do schoolwork. That's kind of her nature.

[Chelli]

My oldest started complaining when I homeschooled some high schoolers for their mom while she got a new job to let her homeschool them. I only schooled them for 2 months, but their negative attitudes about school rubbed off on her at the tender age of 5. She loved school and had never complained once before that.

 

After I quit homeschooling them, the complaining continued eventhough they weren't around. It's like she suddenly decided that you were supposed to complain about school.

 

The money to homeschool them was very helpful at the time, but it wasn't worth teaching my daughter that school is drudgery. Hindsight is 20/20 :glare:

[julikins]

My daughter and son only complain when the work is too challenging (meaning I need to back up and explain better/more) or it's too much busywork (meaningless waste of time that doesn't accomplish anything for learning). So, I have worked hard to respect that they don't need to do countless problems in math if they understand it and can show me that they know it. And I have worked hard to find curricula that maintains their interest while still being rigorous. It takes me being involved, too, and not just handing them a workbook and saying "Do this" and walking away. When you have a little baby that's definitely a temptation, but that's not homeschooling, I don't think. I want to be an involved parent and teacher, so I need to be present with them while they do school. That helps a lot with attitudes, when they can talk to me about what they're learning or what is expected of them.

[Loudwater School]

I am pretty sure that there's a direct correlation between the developmental appropriateness of an assignment and the child's interest in doing it. It's like with chores, too. As soon as a kid can mop the floor and make it cleaner than messier, he no longer wants to play with the mops and buckets and soapy water. Likewise, as soon as my sons could focus on a black-and-white text-heavy page and remain with butts in seats for an extended period, they magically lost all that preschool enthusiasm about "my very own workbooks!"

[LMD]

when we say 'school time' - however the groaning only lasts a couple of minutes, then they're asking 'just one more page pleeeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeeee' (yes in maths too!)

 

I think it has more to do with stopping what they're doing than starting something else...

[sewingmama]

Depends on the child -I have one that loves school and is always happy to do it -he starts to groan a bit when he is getting tired so that's my signal to let him go for the day.

 

On the other hand :glare: I have one that as soon as I pick up a book she groans and says "I don't want to do school". It's not the curriculum - she has always been this way about everything. She only ever likes to do what she wants to do and what she initiated KWIM. If I ask her to do one page of ETC she moans and groans and cries and takes forever. However if she picks up the book on her own initiative she flies through six pages and tells me "Mum this is my favourite lesson" :glare:

[Pen]

I am pretty sure that there's a direct correlation between the developmental appropriateness of an assignment and the child's interest in doing it. It's like with chores, too. As soon as a kid can mop the floor and make it cleaner than messier, he no longer wants to play with the mops and buckets and soapy water. Likewise, as soon as my sons could focus on a black-and-white text-heavy page and remain with butts in seats for an extended period, they magically lost all that preschool enthusiasm about "my very own workbooks!"

 

That is funny! And I think I have noticed it--that direct but inverse correlation--too!

 

Though for mine, I'd also say it is anytime something does not come easily. So my response...aha, then that means more of that is needed, not less.

[Corraleno]

When the work becomes redundant, pointless or in any way resembles busy work.

:iagree:

My kids choose their math curricula (they each chose a mix of several things) and their foreign language; science, history, and literature are interest-led/parent-guided. Neither of them choose easy options, and they both push themselves harder than I would have. In fact, the more they have a sense of ownership over their schoolwork, the more they tend to challenge themselves. Groans about schoolwork have been replaced by requests for more resources — my Amazon bill may be skyrocketing, but my blood pressure is definitely lower. ;)

 

Jackie

[khall]

I'm just wondering. I see comments here and here, usually about math, referencing kids who drag their feet or complain or resist. It seems like really little kids are always so excited about school. When did that change for your kids (if it has at all)? When did it become a job that has to get done, rather than an endless game?

 

(Be honest! We're not going to judge you or your kid if there is a subject he or she isn't thrilled about.)

 

Over the years I've noticed complaining if the material isn't appropriate for the current developmental needs of my kids(too hard, too easy, too repetitive, too cluttered, too important to mom and not important to kid, too workbooky, too hands on, too artsy, too auditory......:D)

 

This was apparent when they attended school, as well as during the past 3 years of homeschooling. I think the initial excitement for little kids is that they are interested in learning about school. Once they've been doing it for awhile, then they've satisfied their curiosity about what school is, and need to have some kind of interest or motivation in what they are learning for them to be engaged/excited/non complaining.

 

We do a great deal of interest led learning here, as I've learned that if they aren't interested, it's a complete waste of time because it doesn't stick anyway. We've also done quite a bit of curriculum hopping to find programs that have approaches that work for my kiddos. When we try a new curriculum, the complaining starts quickly if it's a bad fit, or an inappropriate placement/level, or sometimes if it just isn't something that they are interested in. When that happens, we adjust or modify or throw it all out the window and start over. And for the most part, this seems to work for us. We do end up with some unusual projects and rabbit trails, but for the most part the kids are doing it happily! :D

[Tara Bara]

My oldest has been complaining since about the age of two! ;) If it doesn't fit the schedule he has in mind for his day, he is going to be upset about it. Teaching him to read was torture because it meant doing work and taking time away from his playing. Writing was awful because it was boring and held no interest for him. Math has been a struggle because it requires a bit more thought than anything else he does. He is in 2nd grade now and does better than he used to, but he really just wants to play all day long!

[Aspasia]

Okay, this is such a relief! I feel like I'm always hearing homeschooling parents talk about their kids' love of learning and about making learning fun for their kids. It makes it sound like everyone is always happy to do school work. Obviously kids can still love learning and be having an enjoyable time with certain subjects even if they gripe about others, but I guess it's just nice to hear, because....

 

 

On the other hand :glare: I have one that as soon as I pick up a book she groans and says "I don't want to do school". It's not the curriculum - she has always been this way about everything. She only ever likes to do what she wants to do and what she initiated KWIM. If I ask her to do one page of ETC she moans and groans and cries and takes forever. However if she picks up the book on her own initiative she flies through six pages and tells me "Mum this is my favourite lesson" :glare:

 

...this sounds exactly like my dd! Sometimes I've worried that maybe I'm expecting too much too soon because she often resists and will just say she wants to go outside and play. What we do literally takes less than an hour every day--she is spending PLENTY of time outside (and we have the critter collection to prove it!).

 

Okay, now I don't feel so bad. Thank you!

[lea1]

If I was only homeschooling my easy going son, I would probably be thinking I was doing everything right because he is so easy and is a pleaser. But God also blessed me other my not-so-easy-going son to humble me.:lol:

 

He is a tricky one. Some days he is in a good, cooperative mood and we fly through our studies, having fun and enjoying our work, for the most part. On other days he is very hard to please and seems to want to do the opposite of everything we need to do that day. On these bad-mood/attitude days, oh the moaning, groaning, whining and fit-throwing. And school takes so much longer and I really question whether they just need to go to school next year so they will realize how good they have it at home.....of course, that could back fire on me.

 

It does seem that as we continue on through our year, he may be having less and less of those kind of days. I have also learned a few things to help smooth the way...sometimes.:tongue_smilie:

[Julie Smith]

When it involves a pencil.

 

Perfect answer here.

[angela in ohio]

No groaning here, except for one hiccup: My middle dd had a tutor in CC who almost killed her love of learning by modeling a bad attitude toward learning, and that year and much of the next she groaned. But with much hard work and some discipline when necessary, I got her back out of it.

 

I credit a combination of things: dh models hard work for dc, dh and I are often in college classes so dc see us studying a lot, our rigorous classical method, encouraging individual interests, a zero tolerance policy for bad attitudes, etc. My oldest was the easiest, the middle had the problems mentioned above, and my little guy didn't take naturally to school work but had learned to love it.

[thefragile7393]

Oh mine has been going on alllllllll year with my kindergartner! Not the preschooler, she looooooves her workbooks and her online games.

[Mommy2BeautifulGirls]

I imagine it depends on the kid. My kids have groaned since they popped out of my womb. :lol:

 

:iagree:

 

When I read the topic question, the first thing in my head was, "The second they wake up and come downstairs in the morning!"

[PRTGSw2K]

My DS loves schoolwork, but complains every day. Once he starts, he wants to keep going. He anxiously looks forward to new books and new curricula, but then complains when I saw it's time to work on them.

 

For those with a 0 tolerance policy, what do you do to enforce the no complaining/groaning rule?

[AnointedHsMom]

For those with a 0 tolerance policy, what do you do to enforce the no complaining/groaning rule?

 

:bigear: especially for an older child. My oldest is turning 13 in a few weeks and I'm so weary of the constant groaning and daily attempt to not do any school that I'm not sure I can take it any more.

[happyhomemaker]

My DS loves schoolwork, but complains every day. Once he starts, he wants to keep going. He anxiously looks forward to new books and new curricula, but then complains when I saw it's time to work on them.

 

:iagree: This is my ds to a T. He was complaining about having to do math this morning, but then once we started, he kept saying he would do more problems because they were so fun. I think sometimes dc just have trouble switching activities. If I told ds he had to stop playing Legos and go play outside, he might react the same way he does to math. I've learned to take it in stride and not be offended by it. If I make a big deal out of his groans, then they become bigger. Dont feed the groaning monster!!

[angela in ohio]

My DS loves schoolwork, but complains every day. Once he starts, he wants to keep going. He anxiously looks forward to new books and new curricula, but then complains when I saw it's time to work on them.

 

For those with a 0 tolerance policy, what do you do to enforce the no complaining/groaning rule?

 

When my dd was doing that, I would stop and ask her, "Do you really mean that, or is it a bad habit you picked up?" Then we would talk about how our outward expression of emotions affects us, and we need to control that. Dh has always been good about expressing how lucky dc are that I dedicate myself to them and their education, and he hit that really hard during that time especially. Once we discussed it,s he was expected to stop. If she didn't, I used the same discipline methods for any other disobedience.

Edited April 22, 2012 by angela in ohio

[Sctigermom]

The minute they wake up? Oh, age? As soon as it's not fun K work anymore. Mine each started to complain when they couldn't get the answers instantly and had to do some thinking or writing. But we're working on that. :glare:

:iagree: